Behind Our Smiles Marriage Podcast

We are so excited to let you listen in on the conversation we had with Jordan and Heather St. Cyr. You may recognize Jordan as the voice behind the songs, "Fires", "Weary Traveler", and "No Matter What". Jordan and Heather share their love story as well as how God worked in their lives and marriage after the birth of a medically fragile child. Your faith will be strengthened as you hear what it's like when God walks through the fires with you. You can check out Jordan's music here: https://www.jordanstcyr.com To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Do you ever feel that me vs. you thinking seep into your marriage? Who will win, who will lose, who is right, and who is wrong? Even though we do have differing opinions and preferences, we need to remember that God put us on the same team. We're using our different strengths to head in the same direction. In this episode, we talk about what working as a team looks like in our marriage. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

If we don't address the hurts in our marriage, they can pile up, create resentment, and block our connection. Forgiving each other isn't just something we have to do once or twice, but a continual posture in choosing not to seek revenge. In this episode, we share how humility and honesty help us create a culture of forgiveness in our marriage. This is a re-cast of Episode 23. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

We believe that forgiving those who have hurt us is a key ingredient to healing from our past wounds. When we follow God in forgiving others as He has forgiven us, we find true freedom! In this week's episode, we talk about what forgiveness is, why we forgive, and how Joe found healing in forgiving his abusers. This is a re-cast of Episode 22 To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

How do you feel when your spouse does something for you, but you suspect it's really for them? How do we know if we truly are doing something for others or just for ourselves? In this episode, we talk about examining our own motivations in how we love our spouse. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Sometimes we walk into our marriages and relationships with a "what have you done for me lately" attitude. But in God's kingdom, it's upside down and the greatest is the one who serves. In this episode, we discuss the whys of serving each other and some practical ways we incorporate serving into our daily relationship. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Do you like to dance? Dancing with your spouse is a great way to grow your communication and intimacy as well as get some exercise! In this episode, we share how dancing together has added romance and laughter to our marriage. Dancing Instruction Website: https://showheroff.com/ To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

When we first get married we love and crave being alone! But as we add children to our family, events to our calendar, and grow in our hospitality, it can become increasingly difficult to find times that we are truly alone. Our relationship can suffer and become more shallow without that time when it is just us. In this episode, we talk about the role of being alone in growing intimacy. To connect with us on Social Media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

When's the last time you discovered something you didn't know about your spouse? One way to keep our relationships from feeling stale is to learn something new about each other. In this episode, we're sharing parts of our story that you might not have known before. To connect with us on Social Media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Do you ever feel like a failure? Facing our own failures is one of the hardest things God asks us to do as individuals. But that fear of failure also affects our marriages and close relationships. In this episode, Joe and I talk about how failure and the fear of failure have affected our marriage.

So much of our experiences in our childhood follow us into adulthood. In this episode, we talk about Joe's experience of neglect as a child and how that has negatively affected him. We also share the role that child sponsorship plays in helping other vulnerable children avoid those negative outcomes. Learn more about OneChild and become a Child Sponsor!

This week we want to introduce you to our new friends, Elisabeth Klein and her husband, Buzz. They share the difficult parts of their story with wisdom and grace, a story that includes living in an abusive marriage, separation, and divorce. Their transparency is refreshing as they share the challenges from their first marriages, in their courtship and remarriage, and in blending families. Hear how they moved from brokenness to healing and how God brought them together for a second chance. Elisabeth is an author and speaker at Elisabeth Klein. If you are currently in or are healing from an abusive marriage, or if you are struggling after divorce, she has so many resources to remind you that you are not alone and there is hope. A Few of Elisabeth's Resources: All That to Say Podcast Are you separated or divorced or a single mom? Elisabeth's book, Unraveling: Hanging Onto Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage Lies We Tell Ourselves webcast 3-month e-course, Marriage Methods (now pay what you can) 3-month e-course, Heartbreak to Hope If you're in a difficult marriage with biblical grounds to divorce and you're trying to decide whether to stay or go check out her 5-week e-course, Decision Time

Asking your spouse, "Can we just let it go?" rarely ends a conversation peacefully. Many of our arguments have been about when and how to end a tense conversation. He wants to let it go, I'm nowhere near ready to let it go. In this episode, we share how we have learned to "let go" of that phrase in our marriage.

In this week's episode, we talk with Pastor Cal and Susan Rychener, an amazing couple who have been married and in pastoral ministry for over 40 years. From the time they met at a small Bible college in Indiana to founding one of the largest churches in Peoria, IL, and now moving into their golden years, they have learned what surrender to God looks like in every season. Their love story shows how when we understand our own brokenness and find freedom in Christ from our past wounds, our marriages can flourish. (This is a re-cast from Episode 20) Content warning: infant loss https://puredesire.org | https://northwoods.church

Stopping in to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas! We hope you and your family are enjoying a joyous and hope-filled Christmas season. We also share about another great podcast that you'll want to listen to this season, In Fulfillment. Listen to In Fulfillment on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

One of our favorite words that we hear in the Christmas season is Emmanuel.... Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. In this mini-episode, we talk about the significance of the hymn, "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" as we celebrate Emmanuel, God With Us.

From the outside, Joe "enjoys" the holidays but I know inside it's a much bigger struggle trying not to let the pain and sadness overwhelm him. It's like a huge magnifying glass — this spotlight on everything he missed out on that it's like he can't even relate to it all. It can feel complicated. Trying to honor God in this season, hoping to give our children great holiday memories, yet also acknowledging the deep losses in my husband's life. It's not always easy to figure out and it's hard to even talk about. Sometimes our best way to celebrate Christ's birth is just to bring him that brokenness. This episode is a re-cast of Episode 9. Read our blog post here.

During the holiday season, we often hear the question, what do you want for Christmas? What is it that we really want, in our lives, or in our marriages? Are we wanting the right things? And what happens when we don't get what we want? In this episode, we talk about what it is we really want and how to rightly order our desires. Resources mentioned in this episode: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp

One common source of marital contention is when one spouse is more interested in being on time than the other. This simple difference can end up adding more tension to already stressful days. In this episode, we share about growing love and unity even when we're running late!

We all have things about our spouse that we want to change or improve. But sometimes those desires can turn into a desire to control, and when that doesn't work we turn to manipulation. In this episode, we're talking about how to affect change through our influence instead of manipulation. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

We all have a lot going on and it's easy to lose track of each other on a practical level. Checking with our spouses is not just about communicating better, but caring for each other. In this episode, we talk about showing consideration for each other through communication and shared decision-making. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Sexual intimacy requires a vulnerability and giving of ourselves like nothing else that we share in our marriage. Then throw in previous trauma, marital disconnection, and the demands of modern life, and it's not surprising that we're not always "in the mood." In this episode, we talk about how we overcome our obstacles to sexual intimacy. Content note: Although we do discuss the effects of trauma on sexual intimacy, there are no explicit descriptions of abuse or sexual activities. More resources: Tara speaks about being a "higher drive wife" at the DESIRE conference for women J at Hot, Holy, and Humorous The Body Keeps the Score To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Friendship is one of God's greatest blessings when we're willing to love others as we love ourselves. And although we can claim thousands of friends thanks to social media, real friendships are still hard to find. In this episode, we talk about the value of growing real friendship in and out of our marriage. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

We're celebrating one year of podcasting! In honor of our podcast-aversary, we're taking you behind the scenes of Behind Our Smiles. It was not easy learning to work together- we usually have different opinions about how things should be done and when. In this anniversary episode, we talk about the challenges and benefits of working together as a married couple. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

We all have a desire to be noticed and admired. Don't we all want to be amazing? In our marriage, we can be our spouse's #1 fan and remind them of all the ways they are amazing. In this episode, Joe and I talk about the power of admiration. "I'm proud of you." "I'm attracted to you." "I'm impressed by you." "I like you." "I'm proud of the way you _____." "I'm attracted to your _____ (inside and out)." "I am impressed that you _____." "I like how you _____." To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

In this episode, we're talking about some of our favorite episodes from our first year of podcasting. Whether you are new to our podcast or a regular listener, we hope you enjoy this quick look back on some of the lessons that have most impacted our marriage. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

So much of life requires us to trust God, especially when things look a bit crazy. Adventure is always a mix of fun with a little risk mixed in. In this episode, we talk about those faith-building situations we have walked through and the power of a positive attitude in the face of uncertainty. Studio C's "An Unfortunate Fortune" skit To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

We are so excited to introduce you to a very special couple in our lives: Tara's parents, Tim and Lynette Kosloskus! They have been married for almost 54 years and have so much godly wisdom to share. We've talked about their influence in our lives in previous episodes but now you get to hear from them and see why we love them so much. They share their early love story, Tim's struggle with alcohol, and how starting a relationship with Jesus completely changed the trajectory of their marriage. To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

We all have needs, and God has given us the ability to meet needs as well. But when we don't know what those needs are, we lose the opportunity to build love and trust into our relationships. In this episode, we talk about communicating and meeting needs in marriage. Resources mentioned in this episode: KEEP YOUR LOVE ON Book To connect with us on Social Media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

Sitting on the couch and watching TV is a super popular and easy way to spend time with your spouse. But screens can prevent us from spending quality time together, and we can easily waste valuable time just surfing Netflix if we're not careful! In this episode, we talk about how we use TV time to grow our connection and how to honor God in what we watch. To connect with us on Social Media: Facebook Instagram Or at behindoursmiles.com

One common way to grow communication with your spouse is to "talk about your day." But what if one spouse is not particularly interested in talking about their day right when they walk in the door? Do we have to talk about our day? In this episode, we talk about how to "talk about our day" in a way that respects both spouses' needs.

No matter how long we have been married, there is always more to learn about each other. It's like we're always in school! Every day is an opportunity for God to teach us how to love better if we're willing to learn. In this episode, we talk about becoming a student of your spouse.

We all carry burdens and in marriage, we each have unique struggles. The problem is when we fall into the trap of comparing our loads and wanting to be the one who has it harder. In this episode, we talk about the difference between empathy and sympathy and how it affects our ability to love.

Does your spouse understand the hardships you have been through and how it has affected you? Joe and I have both often failed in understanding the ways we each have suffered. In this episode, we talk about the role of empathy in growing true intimacy.

In this episode, we are going behind the smiles of authors/speakers, Mark and Jill Savage. After 28 years of marriage, they experienced one of the hardest challenges a marriage can face: infidelity. Mark and Jill share some of the slow fades and the spiritual and emotional battles that preceded the near death of their marriage. Most importantly, they share how they found restoration and healing as they let God transform them into "Mark and Jill 2.0" Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of twelve books including Real Moms...Real Jesus and No More Perfect Moms. Together Mark and Jill have authored two books, Living With Less So Your Family Has More and No More Perfect Marriages. You can find out more at markandjill.org. And a great opportunity to enrich your marriage!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and how we think about our husband or wife affects how attractive they are to us. In this episode, we share the habits and attitudes that help us to grow our physical attraction to each other.

Do you know the right way to do something? Is your way better than your spouse's? But what if your spouse thinks his way is better? In this episode we try to figure out whose way is the "right" way and where humility fits into that question.

We've all been taught to say please and thank you. But how often do we say thank you to our spouses? Don't they already know I appreciate them? In this episode we talk about the value of showing appreciation to your spouse.

Whether you have experienced trauma or not, it's common to "feel triggered." In our marriage, we have had to learn to understand Joe's triggers from the abuse he experienced as a child. In this episode, we share how God has helped us to name and mitigate the triggers we both experience.

Do you have Fan Wars in your house? One person who prefers the fan be on, and the other one who needs it to be off? In this episode, we laugh about our dilemma with the fan and how we work through our differing preferences.

In honor of Father's Day, we are talking about one key characteristic of a good father: loving their children's mother well. In this episode, we share why it's important to prioritize your marriage above your children and how that has helped us build a strong family. https://www.wcicfm.org/a-higher-priority/

Happy 25th Anniversary to us!! As we celebrate 25 years of marriage, Joe and I reflect on our wedding day and what we've learned about marriage through the eyes of our four children.

As we approach our 25th anniversary, we can look back and remember the times when we wanted to give up. When our conflicts seemed unresolvable. But as we trusted God, and leaned into each other, we learned to reconcile in a God-honoring way. In this episode, we share about the power of perseverance in marriage and what it looks like to "work it out."

We are so excited for you to meet our friends Brian and Carole Pucel. When they married in 1982, everything seemed to be bliss until Brian began to follow Jesus, much to Carole's dismay. Brian's new-found faith almost destroyed their marriage, until Carole slowly became curious about what had caused this change in her husband. Years later, another crisis hit when anger and pride almost destroyed their marriage. You'll love hearing how God redeemed their marriage even when things seemed hopeless!

Do you ever get in a season when busyness takes over and there's no breathing room in your schedule? Often when that happens, our marriages are the first to suffer. We're more impatient, show less grace, and become disconnected from each other. In this episode, Joe and I share how protecting the margin in our lives has grown our marriage and sexual intimacy.

With our habit of multitasking, truly listening is a skill that we must continually work on. Listening to each other is one of the most selfless things we can do and grows our connection in massive ways. In this episode, we share our struggles with learning to listen well.

Do you ever struggle with the question that plagues modern marriages: where do you want to eat? This episode we laugh at ourselves a bit as we try to get closer to an answer to that simple question, and show love to each other in the process.

Mother's Day can trigger different feelings for both of us. For Joe, he doesn't like the reminder of what he lost as a child while I love to be celebrated for the role I have played in our children's lives. In this episode, we talk about how Joe's struggle with Mother's Day has impacted our marriage and how we love each other through it.

Is Mother's Day a "loaded" holiday for you or your spouse? Does it bring up emotions and memories you'd rather not deal with? In this episode, Joe shares openly about the scars he still carries from an abusive mother and how he has found healing in Christ.

Our modern busy lives often include plenty of comings and goings. In this episode, we share how our hello and goodbye rituals grow our connection and help us to show honor to each other. Read more here: https://www.wcicfm.org/you-had-me-at-hello/