Be with the Word

Dr. Gerry explores the readings for the Thirtieth Sunday of Ordinary Time and the idea of the "Self" as mediator. God the Father wants to restore the vulnerable.and broken to a state of joy and fulfillment. Christ is the ultimate high priest who mediates God's work to mankind. By virtue of our baptism and calling we are also called to be a mediator and make a positive difference in the world by taking actions and exercising our gifts. The human "Self" has the unique ability to transform the world by mediating God's grace and work.

In this special episode taken from a recent Catholic Journeymen web meeting, Dr. Gerry discusses types of sexual brokenness and how they are rooted in attachment wounds. He provides an activity to re-align our imagination to the truths of our faith that we are to be a gift of self in mutually giving relationships.

Dr. Gerry explores the themes of suffering and joy in the readings of the 26th-29th Sundays in ordinary time. We must develop 'wisdom of the heart' in order to break free of attachments. Dr. Gerry discusses how our fantasies involve power struggles which despite distortion reveal our true needs. It is in caring for others that leads to joy and gladness. It is in meeting the deeper need that we can break the power struggle inherent in our fantasies. Dr. Gerry walks us through accepting what we really need: goodness, consolation, comfort and connection. Calling a few good men: Join Dr. Gerry in an online community for Catholic men: www.catholicjourneymen.com

Why do we have unfruitful debates with non-Catholics (and some Catholics) on controversial topics? Dr. Gerry explores the difference between a philosophical worldview based on objective truth compared to a postmodern de-constructivist worldview that is common today. In order to have a productive discussion or debate with someone with a different position, especially big topics today such as abortion or trans issues, one must be clear and open about one’s philosophical position. Dr. Gerry advocates being honest about one’s philosophical worldview and speaking from the heart with the qualities that St. James mentions that make up wisdom; these include being peaceable, gentle, compliant, full of mercy, and having good fruits. We need to approach these discussions with humility not just to win an argument. If we’ve done this and we’re still persecuted, we can rely on God’s presence without disgrace. These principles apply all the more within families where family members disagree on important and heated topics.

We all have inner conflicts as we have parts that are polarized. In the readings Isaiah speaks about the blind seeing, the deaf hearing and the mute singing The psalm speaks of the wicked compared to the fatherless and the widows. St. James tells us not to show partiality for the rich over the poor. And Jesus heals a mute person. How can we break the inner conflicts inside of ourselves? Dr. Gerry describes his own personal journey of recognizing that his "bad boy" part was really hurt and sad, but was in conflict with a strong righteous protector part. Dr. Gerry then shares his experience of bringing this hurting part to communion. Dr. Gerry is on the Hallow App under "mental health" and "relationships". He discusses discovering one's identity in God and then expressing that identity with others. He also provides four guided meditations. Sign up for a free trial on Hallow here:https://hallow.ac9mny.net/c/2969053/982234/11108

Dr. Gerry is back! And this week he discusses the readings from the 22nd Sunday of Ordinary Time and the dynamic between following God's commandments and the heart. Jesus says that evil thoughts come from the heart. But he also says that the word of truth is planted in the heart. This leads Dr. Gerry into a discussion of the "self" and the "heart/nous" and then to a discussion of "parts" (influenced by Dr. Peter's favorite type of therapy, Internal Family Systems). Dr. Gerry then provides a 30 minute clip from his introduction to "parts work" taken from his recent Catholic Journeymen web meeting. Lots to learn this week!

Dr. Gerry focuses on St. Paul's letter to the Ephesians as he contrasts the biblical message with secular individualism and a great deal of modern psychology's focus on self actualization. Instead we learn that true peace comes through cultivating the virtues of humility, gentleness and patience, and in the end love.

Dr. Gerry explores the Sunday readings (16th Sunday of Ordinary Time) and discusses how to find deeper levels of inner peace by confronting enmity. Dr. Gerry discusses the way Christ makes Jews and Gentiles into a "new person" and how we can confront our own "shadow" and insecure parts.

Dr. Gerry discusses depression and negative cognitions (lies) that we tell ourselves. Dr. Gerry compares depression to the sin of acedia which is a resistance to the demands of love, and a burden. Like the woman who touched Jesus' cloak, or Jairus, we can heal from this affliction through faith and courage. Dr. Gerry also brings in the important words from the Book of Wisdom and Psalm 30 to understand our true identity and receive God's help and healing.

Dr. Gerry hosts Be with the Word from a dorm at Franciscan University of Steubenville (Ohio). He explores how God is transcendent and calms the seas in our own souls. Dr. Gerry shares some of the things he's learned from Philosophy professors at Franciscan. Dr. Gerry applies the Catholic teaching that the rational soul is the form of the body to the teaching of St. Paul that we have a new identity as new creations in Christ. As a new creation we want our soul that knows and trusts in God to be in alignment with our bodies which sometimes is triggered by fear. Dr. Gerry explores how the Fall and reinforced by trauma creates a disconnect between body and soul. New therapies that are somatic (body-based) align better with Catholic philosophy.

Dr. Gerry celebrates the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ as he links the Sunday readings and the story of sacrifice in Exodus and Christ's sacrifice to developmental psychology. Dr. Gerry also explores what it means to be a 'good' parent and what it means to allow the truths of the faith to truly register in our hearts (not just our cognitions).

Dr. Crete continues to explore personality as he discusses the Myers-Briggs personality indicator and the Greek Temperaments. He zooms in on the difference between Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) and how this difference can cause conflict in marriage. Dr. Gerry brings in the Sunday readings and how the gifts of the Holy Spirit, including generosity, self control and patience, can help as couples learn to accept themselves and each other for their differences.

Dr. Gerry begins a new mini-series "From Ascension to Assumption" where he explores getting to know oneself. Every week he will look at personality tests and models and how to understand our true selves. This week, the 7th Sunday of Easter and the Ascension, Dr. Crete explores the difference between Introversion and Extroversion based on the Myers-Briggs index. He also explores God's call to love one another in order to remain in Him. Dr. Gerry applies St. Paul's words about receiving a Spirit of wisdom and having the eyes of your hearts enlightened to everyday life. Dr. Gerry also discusses the virtue of humility and how this connects with the true self.

Dr. Gerry explores the difference between love as described in the readings for the 6th Sunday of Easter and Codependency. Gerry explains how true love is connected to self-giving when it is an expression of one's identity. Codependency involves people-pleasing and needing to be affirmed by others in order to find an identity.

Dr. Gerry reflects on the readings for the Third Sunday of Easter and walks you through a path for stopping scrupulosity and obsessive thinking. He draws on the interplay between the amygdala and the medial prefrontal cortex as we move from fear and shame to awareness, repentance, and receiving comfort from our great Advocate.

Dr. Gerry discusses the readings for the Second Sunday of Easter where he discusses what it means that Christ is "begotten in water and blood". He brings in some insight from Bessel Van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score and discusses the connection between spirit/mind and body in the healing of trauma. Dr. Crete also suggests that we can allow our own sufferings, challenges, and hardships to be transformed through faith into something that brings meaning and changes lives for good.

Dr. Gerry discusses the biblical path to overcoming dissociation, surviving suffering, and not being overwhelmed by shame. We are called to name and express emotion and recall our true identity.

Dr. Gerry reflects on the Sunday Readings (Fifth Sunday of Lent) and discusses how God establishes secure attachment with us (in Jeremiah) and then asks us to die to self. Dr. Gerry discusses what it means to learn from suffering and how service allows us to love.

Dr. Gerry continues his Lenten discussion about the psychological concept of dissociation as he discusses traumatic re-enactments. The readings for the fourth Sunday of Lent help us to find the true way to break free from old patterns and sins we keep repeating.

Dr. Gerry discusses the readings from the Third Sunday of Lent and continues his discussion of "dissociation" as he describes the "window of tolerance" and what happens emotionally when we go outside of it. Dr. Gerry discusses the difference between normal feelings such as anger and sinful reactions such as rage, wrath, and vengeance.

A mouthful, eh? Dr. Gerry continues his Lenten series on dissociation and discusses the parasympathetic nervous system which is how we experience safety. Dr. Gerry discusses the Abraham and Isaac sacrifice story and explains how God wants a new covenant based on safety, trust, and connection. God also reverses the ancient notions of life and death through Christ whose true nature is revealed to three apostles at the Transfiguration.

Dr. Gerry discusses the Sunday readings and begins a short Lenten series on dissociation. Dr. Gerry discusses mild forms of dissociation and more series forms (disorders) and connects this to the Hebrew understanding of life and death. Jesus turns this on its head and baffles the wise by showing us that it is through death that we can find life. Similarly we must meet our disconnected parts and meet their needs in the present in order to find new life and psychological health.

Dr. Gerry discusses what it means to be a leper in the Hebrew world and how Christ is the bridge from sickness to health, and from death to life. He then discusses how St. Paul's attitude of pleasing "everyone in every way" is in fact not codependency.

Dr. Gerry focuses on the book of Jonah and the call to love and reach out to people with whom we dislike or disagree. God has a message here despite our political, social, and religious views that he wants repentance and goodness for all.

Dr. Gerry discusses the Sunday Readings and how to improve recovery from addictions or problematic behaviors by approaching ourselves differently.

Dr. Crete provides a strategy based on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to break through relationship conflicts and unhealthy patterns.

As Dr. Gerry explores the character of Herod, he discusses how our negative behaviors can be adaptive and self-protective. Dr. Gerry ties in the latest Wonder Woman movie (minimal spoilers) as well as the Eastern Catholic concept of epiphany and “theoria” as he discusses how to challenge our own motivations and adapt in new ways through union with and worship of God.

Dr. Gerry and Dr. Laura Cusumano discuss eating disorders. Dr. Laura earned her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Divine Mercy University and she is the mother of three young children. Dr. Laura shares her own personal journey of overcoming an eating disorder and how that led her into the field of psychology and helping others with eating disorders. Dr. Laura shares her struggle with anorexia that emerged in college and how she became obsessed with numbers (food and exercise) as a way to gain a sense of control. She describes how her extroverted personality started to change and her personality was “shrinking” and this was a sign that she was in an unhealthy place because she was losing her identity. “Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3)Dr. Laura notes that eating disorders don’t always have a physical appearance. Anorexia can occur to people who are average or overweight in appearance. It is concerning when all your activities revolve around food or avoiding food. There was also a loss of relationships. Dr. Laura also discusses the difference between the ongoing recovery model and the full recovery model. Dr. Gerry discusses how food can be celebratory but also be a way to self soothe negative emotions. Dr. Laura mentions the dietician Ellyn Satter. “It is being able to choose food you enjoy and eat it and truly get enough of it – not just stop eating because you think you should. ... Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.”Dr. Laura explains how eating disorders don’t always “stay in one box”. She discusses binge eating disorder which is now in the DSM (manual for diagnosing mental health disorders). Dr. Laura urges us to be gentle with ourselves. Halloween through New Years we get “assaulted” by unhealthy food. New Year’s resolutions can be a “twisted Lent” which is detached to God. Putting a moral judgment on food is often unhelpful. There is a difference between disordered eating versus an eating disorder. Give grace and gentleness and notice when we want to berate ourselves for being “bad”. We speak to ourselves with harsh and moral language which can lead to body related negativity which can lead to an eating disorder. We must learn how to manage our relationship with food in a healthy way rather than merely eliminating certain foods completely. “For you shall eat the fruit of your handiwork. Blessed shall you be, and favored” (Psalm 128)Food in the proper order is beautiful and created in nature – just like sex in the proper context. Temperance doesn’t mean eliminating everything that is tempting but managing our relationship with things in healthy ways.

Dr. Gerry discusses what it is to be a good father. How is fathering different from mothering? The "essentialist" position says that fatherhood is universal and biologically based. It also says that without a father figure there are negative developmental outcomes for boys. Dr. Gerry discusses how postmodern social constructivism defines fatherhood and masculinity. Dr. Gerry shares his own experience of fathering and being a stay at home dad. Research studies show the favorable outcomes of positive father involvement and warmth and closeness. There is a discussion of gender norms for men and how this brings pressure for men. Dr. Gerry also discusses not only being a provider and protector but also how to access the "true self" which includes qualities such as curiosity, courage, compassion, creativity, patience, faithfulness, playfulness, connectedness, and presence.

Although the holidays are meant to be a joyful time, many people struggle with higher levels of depression, grief, loneliness, and stress. Some people also experience seasonal affective disorder – and all this and a global pandemic as well! Dr. Gerry integrates the best advice from the mental health community with the wisdom of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. The importance of “doing less” and setting realistic expectations. Practical suggestions to turn this season into an internal spiritual pilgrimage by increasing meditation, practicing mindfulness (watchfulness), loving others, and receiving comfort from God and His saints. “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks.” 1 Thessalonians 5 “In trial or difficulty I have recourse to Mother Mary, whose glance alone is enough to dissipate every fear” -St. Thérèse of Lisieux

Dr. Gerry discusses the Sunday readings from a psychological and family-oriented perspective. Dr. Gerry meets with Mac Barron who is the author of “Clueless in Galilee” and co-host of the long running “Catholic in a Small Town” podcast. Dr. Gerry and Mac discuss their reaction to the commercialization and consumerism of Christmas and the loss of the true spirit of the Advent season. They discuss how a family can make Advent more meaningful and doable. “Kindness and truth shall meet; justice and peace shall kiss.” Psalm 85Dr. Gerry and Mac discuss remaining joyful and being intentional, penitential, and reverential this Advent season. Dr. Gerry explores the parts of us that do not want to be repentant, and how to address our parts that need self-soothing. Dr. Gerry brings up attending to our pain during the holiday season rather than escaping with problem behaviors. Attending to our own pain can help us to be truly repentant and relate better with our loved ones. “Conduct[ing] yourselves in holiness and devotion, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God” 2 PeterSee everything Souls and Hearts has to offer here: Sign up to receive the weekly updates!www.soulsandhearts.comYou can see Mac's podcast here:https://catholicinasmalltown.wordpress.com

As we begin the Advent season of waiting on Christ, Dr. Gerry and Thomas Clements discuss “Learning to Wait: The First Step in Overcoming Addiction”. Thomas is the founder of Zenith Ministries and has a graduate degree in Theology from Franciscan University in Steubenville. Thomas shares his Seven Steps in dealing with addiction which include: 1) Put others first, 2) Run to something else, 3) Repeat the opposite action as often as possible, 4) Accountability, 5) Fasting, 6) Prayer, and 7) the sacramental life.Dr. Gerry and Thomas discuss how to overcome the narcissism of addiction by facing the often difficult (and even terrifying) task of surrendering to God and reaching out to others for help. We must often wait and be watchful. Thomas provides practical strategies for addressing the gaping hole left behind from an addiction. Dr. Gerry discusses how our addictions reveal what we really need, and he explains how we need secure attachment with God and others to feel safe.“Watch, therefore; you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming” (Mark 13)Thomas discusses how to see people as subjects instead of objectifying them, and Dr. Gerry brings up the topic of conditioning and how to “rewire” the brain. Addiction robs us of our sense that we have any choice, but activities like fasting, prayer, and receiving the sacraments allow us to slow down and receive the love, mercy, and a renewed relationship with God which leads us to choose a new path and receive further graces of love, strength, healing.“Yet, O Lord, you are our father: we are the clay and you the potter; we are all the work of your hands.” (Isaiah 63)Dr. Gerry mentions Our Lady of the Inexhaustible Cup and how Christ provides Living Water. Dr. Gerry explains how addictions begin when a behavior soothes deep pain that we would prefer to avoid. Dr. Gerry and Thomas also discuss how to wait when it feels intolerable. Dr. Gerry discusses “stillness” or “hesychasm” – cultivating a spirit of slowing down, waiting, and sitting with and ing to the pain. It is important not to spiritualize problems but seek meaningful forms of accompaniment. Our current culture makes it difficult to wait. Dr. Gerry also alludes to the need for boundaries when engaging with a loved one with an addiction.Learn more about Thomas Clements and Zenith Ministries here:www.zenithministries.com470-253-0802Twitter- @tweetzenithInstagram- @zenithministriesFacebook-/welcometozenithministriesListen to Zenith's latest podcast at https://zenithministries.com/podcast-series/

Overall TakeawayHuman nature tends to want to be more like “goats'' than “sheep”. It’s important to reflect on our internal dispositions to learn how we can be more like the “sheep” in the Good Shepherd’s flock.Key Verses in Sunday Mass Readings“I will rescue them from every place where they were scatteredwhen it was cloudy and dark. I myself will pasture my sheep;I myself will give them rest, says the Lord GOD.”“And he will separate them one from another,as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.Then the king will say to those on his right,'Come, you who are blessed by my Father.Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyAt the natural level, sheep and lambs are vulnerable and not very smart. They are docile and follow without question. Many of these characteristics are difficult for human beings to embrace; our nature tends to rebel against those things.Goats, on the other hand, are often troublesome, independent, headstrong, and agile. They get bored easily and get into mischief. Humans tend to be much more like goats at the natural level.To grow spiritually, we need to work on fostering the nature and internal disposition of sheep. Dr. Gerry and Dr. Peter go through a structured association exercise this week and invite you to do the same. Dr. Peter explores what Dr. Gerry’s responses might mean about his internal disposition and tendencies.Action ItemGo through this week’s exercise, work with your responses to the structured association exercise, and pray about your internal “goat” and “sheep” dispositions.

Overall TakeawayWhen God hands us our “talents” in life, He knows what we are able to do with them and expects us to use our gifts for His glory. It can be challenging to overcome fear and avoid “burying a God-given talent.” Learn about getting to what’s behind the fear and techniques to help you affirm yourself and perhaps get unstuck in some aspect of your life.Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings“His master said to him, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters,I will give you great responsibilities.Come, share your master's joy.’”“‘Master, I knew you were a demanding person,harvesting where you did not plantand gathering where you did not scatter;so out of fear I went off and buried your talent in the ground. Here it is back.'”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyJust as the master gives each servant a different number of talents, God gives us different gifts. He knows what we can handle and expects only what He knows we can do.We often get psychologically stuck, frequently due to a feeling of shame or inadequacy, that causes fear. We can be like the third servant who “buried his talent” out of fear.We often react the same way as that third servant, putting the cause of his own actions back on the master. Instead, we need to address where that fear comes from, work on ways to affirm ourselves, and seek the advantages of taking a risk.To overcome fear, we can address the feelings of shame and inadequacy and where those feelings originated, we can deflate the risk, we can take smaller steps.During a role-play exercise, Dr. Peter pretends to be the third servant and Dr. Gerry works with him through his fear, illustrating how active, motivational listening can help someone consider alternatives. Action ItemIdentify one thing in your life that’s “a buried talent.” Think about an advantage to making a change. What would happen if you tried? If you sense fear, walk it back and see what causes the fear. Bring that root cause to prayer, to a friend or to a counselor to address.

Overall TakeawayWe are called by Wisdom, or the Holy Spirit, to grow in virtue and our relationship with God over the course of our lives, but we often face common psychological reasons that get in our way.Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings“Resplendent and unfading is wisdom,and she is readily perceived by those who love her,and found by those who seek her.”“O God, you are my God whom I seek;for you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts.”“We do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters,about those who have fallen asleep,so that you may not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”"The kingdom of heaven will be like ten virginswho took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps,brought no oil with them,but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps.”Where Psychology Meets CatholicismIntelligence is different from wisdom. We can have intelligence with evil, but we cannot have wisdom with evil. Wisdom is alive, a personification of the Holy Spirit.We are called to be more God-like in our relationships. Consider the mode of receiver; sometimes it can be prudent to not say something that is true.Wisdom seeks us out; it comes to us if we’re receptive to that gift of God. We are called during our lives to build up our “oil” -- our virtues, our human formation, our spiritual formation. We need to be deliberate so we are ready for the wedding feast.Just like the unprepared virgins could not “borrow” oil, we can’t borrow a relationship with God, virtues or human development at the end of our lives.Action ItemTry to assess your “readiness” this week. Consider your prayer life and think specifically about the human things that get in the way. For example, do you struggle with lack of discipline or structure that leads you to forget to pray? Is there a lack of accountability to prayer? Do you feel you have to be perfect in your prayer? These things tend to also get in the way of our human relationships as well.

Overall TakeawayJesus turns the shame-filled, anxiety-ridden narratives of our lives into redemption and transformation. Often, we don’t recognize that when we’re on that journey, and it takes effort to gain that perspective.Key Verses From Sunday Readings“These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress;they have washed their robesand made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.”“Beloved, we are God’s children now;what we shall be has not yet been revealed.We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him,for we shall see him as he is.”“Blessed are the poor in spirit,for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.Blessed are they who mourn,for they will be comforted.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyRemember that we didn’t create ourselves. We’re all handed the context of our lives, and we’re called to live it out in a unique way in our journey toward heaven.We are not the authors of our life narrative; we are the editors. From a psychological perspective, we can change our perception about the events of our lives to see Providence and grow nearer to seeing us as God sees us: as His beloved children.Remember that you're the protagonist of your story, and that God always gives you a guide to help you along your journey as the “hero” of your story. That may be God the Father, Mother Mary, one of the saints, or someone here on earth. When we experience shame, we accept the story that someone else tells us about our lives, which is often inaccurate or simply false.If our story involves great pain, we sometimes come up with a different story to cope. In the short term that can be helpful, but it often causes anxiety and despair in the long run. We need to find a different way to bring a new meaning to our pain and our story. We need to find and accept that transformation that God is waiting to give us.Action ItemPick something that has been difficult in your life. What negative emotion do you experience when you recall that part of your story? Now, pause, and think about where you go with that emotion? Does it go to a lie? Apply the story of saints to your story: when suffering comes, find ways to find repentance or purification, and then make a path decision. Go to your guide, pray, and ask how you’re supposed to see your narrative in a new light. Ask God how He wants you to see yourself.

Overall TakeawayPeople who have superiority complexes are usually trying to make themselves feel better by belittling others. When we can understand what’s behind the attitude, it can help us be more compassionate and loving toward them.Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings“Thus says the LORD:‘You shall not molest or oppress an alien,for you were once aliens yourselves in the land of Egypt.’”“Brothers and sisters:You know what sort of people we were among you for your sake. And you became imitators of us and of the Lord,receiving the word in great affliction, with joy from the Holy Spirit,so that you became a model for all the believersin Macedonia and in Achaia.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyWhen we interact with someone exhibiting a superiority complex, we tend to either take a helpless stance and become a victim or we create our own superiority complex to try to compensate.In some cases, our psychological reaction is to just accept it because “that’s the way he/she is,” be angry about it, or even gravitate toward it.Take a step back to think about what’s driving that behavior. Often, we brush it off as someone simply being mean or difficult.The Pharisees exhibited a superiority complex because they felt threatened by Jesus’ work, healing and teaching. Sometimes Jesus punctures that attitude to teach them a lesson, but this week He gently shows them the correct path.We need to learn who we are not by taking on a superiority persona, but through the eyes of someone who loves us. If we are well-grounded ourselves, we can see those who exhibit superiority more as God sees them, in their woundedness.Action ItemThink of a situation when someone in your life exhibited superiority. Replay that scene and notice your reaction is or how you are triggered. You don’t need to excuse inappropriate behavior, but see if you can look past the exterior and see the person as a small child, see the insecurities. Can you soften your reaction?

Overall TakeawayMany of us feel trapped in some aspect of our lives, just as the Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus in their questioning in this week’s gospel. Just as Jesus had an unexpected answer for them, He has one for us if we’re willing to listen.Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings“For the sake of Jacob, my servant,of Israel, my chosen one,I have called you by your name,giving you a title, though you knew me not.”“We give thanks to God always for all of you,remembering you in our prayers,unceasingly calling to mind your work of faith and labor of loveand endurance in hope of our Lord Jesus Christ,before our God and Father,knowing, brothers and sisters loved by God,how you were chosen.”“The Pharisees went offand plotted how they might entrap Jesus in speech.”“Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesarand to God what belongs to God.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyThe Pharisees were trying to create a double bind with their questioning, giving Jesus only two impossible choices to select from. Often, we find ourselves in what seems like a double bind in some aspect of our own lives.Just as Jesus showed them the true answer, destroying the idea that there was only a black and white option, He is ready and waiting to do that for us as well.If we experience dissonance or a feeling of being trapped in an impossible situation or relationship, we are called to take that situation to God. Perhaps through prayer, speaking with a trusted loved one, or seeking professional help will give us that answer we’re seeking.We need to learn to truly trust in God. Often, we want to trust God only if He gives us the answer we want Him to give us. We have to trust in His providence that whatever answer He gives us is best, even if it’s not what we think we want.Action ItemThink about a situation that doesn’t appear to have a “right” answer. Seek and pray for truth in the situation. Then, seek a second set of eyes. Turn to a trusted friend or family member, priest, or counselor and bring the situation to them. Putting the situation into words can often help. Think about advice you’d give to someone else who is in the same situation to gain distance. Listen to your own advice. Bring that to prayer.

Overall TakeawayJust as the invited individuals in this week’s Gospel refuse to attend the king’s wedding feast, we often do the same in our lives. Although this can be attributed to sin or distractions, it can also come from psychological blind spots that we refuse to address.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“On this mountain the LORD of hostswill provide for all peoplesa feast of rich food and choice wines”“My God will fully supply whatever you need,in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”“The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a kingwho gave a wedding feast for his son.He dispatched his servantsto summon the invited guests to the feast,but they refused to come.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyParts of us may feel that we are not valued or good enough. Other parts of us may be very self-centered or narcissistic in nature, which can be a defense against shame or fear. When we are blinded by these psychological efforts to protect ourselves, we cannot know ourselves, know others, or know God accurately.These psychological blind spots lead to misperceptions of who God really is, and can keep us from the wedding feast.God is waiting to give us the very best--the choicest wines. However, He can only invite us. He gives us the freedom to accept or refuse His gift.In our fallen world, few people exhibit the conviction and boundless love of Jesus. We, instead, often separate those things, which can result in polarization. When Jesus encounters sinners in scripture who sincerely ask who He is, He is right there with them. When the Pharisees are dead set against Jesus, He still loves them by trying to pierce through their questions and accusations.Action ItemRecognize that we all have blind spots. In order to find yours this week, ask yourself “What do I blame God for?” Don’t think about it too much, instead, just write down what comes to mind. It could include things like the premature death of a parent, an abusive situation, a difficult marriage, a lost job, an illness, or anything else where you feel “wronged by God.”Take this list to God in prayer. These feelings can generate blind spots that keep us from being in relationship with Jesus. Give God the space to work in your life and listen to Him.

Overall TakeawayAnxiety is often a symptom in our modern world and can be a real barrier to our relationship with God as well as to our own healing. Our cognitions and surroundings can clearly affect our mood while meditation and prayer can bring an unsurpassing peace.Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings“The vineyard of the LORD of hosts is the house of Israel,and the people of Judah are his cherished plant;he looked for judgment, but see, bloodshed!”“Brothers and sisters:Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,make your requests known to GodThen the peace of God that surpasses all understandingwill guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”“Finally, brothers and sisters,whatever is true, whatever is honorable,whatever is just, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious,if there is any excellenceand if there is anything worthy of praise,think about these things.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyIn the early days of the Church, there was a high cost to being Christian. Anxiety was often external; you often had to be in or out. Today, we have a great deal of anxiety, but it’s often more internal, especially in the midst of the pandemic. These internal conflicts make us vulnerable because we can destroy our own “vineyards” by withdrawing from God.From a psychological perspective, we can often be stuck in shame, which can then become a barrier to God’s love. We can end up sabotaging our relationship with God.Remember that anxiety is a symptom of something that causes us to feel that we are not being loved or cared for. God calls us to get to the roots of anxiety, which allows us to enter into a relationship with Him, and then heal.God won’t force us into relationship with Him. We need to remove those natural barriers and allow ourselves to accept His love.The world often offers a false truth. Instead, hold onto objective truth and focus on the honor and worthiness that exists in creation. Don’t allow yourself to let the media and sources of bad news disrupt your peace.Cognitions affect our mood. Work to elevate your thoughts to something higher.Action ItemParticipate in this week’s meditation led by Dr. Gerry, which is based on a passage from St. Francis de Sales. Access God’s gentle presence and unsurpassing peace through meditation and prayer.

Overall TakeawayListening in charity and trying to understand another’s point of view does not mean we need to agree with the other person. When Christ calls us to unity, it’s important to understand He’s calling us to unify in a love for God and one another--not necessarily in a singleness of ideas.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies,it is because of the iniquity he committed that he must die.But if he turns from the wickedness he has committed,he does what is right and just,he shall preserve his life.”“Remember your mercies, O Lord.The sins of my youth and my frailties remember not; Good and upright is the LORD;thus he shows sinners the way.He guides the humble to justice, and teaches the humble his way.”“Complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love,united in heart, thinking one thing.Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory;rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves.”“Rather, he emptied himself,taking the form of a slave”“'Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.'He said in reply, 'I will not, 'but afterwards changed his mind and went.The man came to the other son and gave the same order.He said in reply, 'Yes, sir, ‘but did not go.Which of the two did his father's will?”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyWe often underestimate how much parents affect children, but we also underestimate our ability to be able to break out of old patterns.We have freedom and choices to make; with that comes both hope and responsibility. We’ll be judged by how we play the hand we’ve been dealt, yet God provides many graces to those who seek to do His will. The requirement is our humility.Humility is psychologically difficult for all of us. There is self-protection in pride. We need to seek humility and be small like a child, trusting that we have a loving Father in God and mother in Mary.Right now, we see a great deal of division within the Church. We see infighting about liturgical practices, COVID responses, masks, and many other issues of the day.When Christ calls us to unity, He’s asking for a unity of spirit and of love -- not a similarity of ideas. How can we all be part of the mystical Body of Christ? It’s easy to lose the ability to understand where another person is coming from in the divisiveness.Action ItemThink about how you are both supporting the unity of the Church and how you are undermining that unity. Take those observations to prayer. What is getting in the way of greater unity? Envy? Fear? Jealousy? Take it to prayer because of how important unity is to Our Lord.

Overall TakeawayWork should not define the person, as it is often the case in today’s world. Instead, we have to see that the dignity of work comes from the fact that it is done by an individual made in the image and likeness of God.Key Verses from the Sunday Readings“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.”“Brothers and sisters:Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.If I go on living in the flesh,that means fruitful labor for me.”“What if I wish to give this last one the same as you?Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money?Are you envious because I am generous?”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyWe often get to know ourselves through our work. However, sometimes work begins to define our worth or who we are. If someone loses a job and wonders “what am I good for,” he or she has lost sight of the value of life itself.Work should not define us. Instead, our human nature can be more fully expressed through our work. Work is only one expression of ourselves.The world tends to have a utilitarian view of life. Our goodness and value are too frequently tied to what we contribute in our work.We are reminded by St.Therese of the Little Flower that it’s important to do “little things with great love.” The love is the important part of the work.Action ItemLook at the different elements of your work, and try to identify an aspect of your work that you tend to under value. What do you recognize about yourself? What can you better appreciate about these aspects?

Overall TakeawayIt’s important to understand the difference between the feeling of anger, which carries no moral weight, and the importance of learning to deal with anger in a healthy way psychologically. Doing so, not only affects us in a positive way, but helps us lift up the entire body of Christ.Key Verses from Sunday ReadingsWrath and anger are hateful things,yet the sinner hugs them tight.The vengeful will suffer the LORD’s vengeance,for he remembers their sins in detail.The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.For as the heavens are high above the earth,so surpassing is his kindness toward those who fear him.At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’Moved with compassion the master of that servantlet him go and forgave him the loan. Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturersuntil he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you,unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyIt’s important to understand that the feeling of anger carries no moral weight. Jesus is angry at multiple points in the Gospels. His is always a righteous anger that reflects justice, as is the king’s anger in this week’s Gospel reading.As parents, we need to help our children with emotional regulation. We need to help them find ways that they can appropriately express anger in an acceptable way. It’s not psychologically healthy to believe that angry feelings are wrong.As adults, we often need to learn the same thing. Often, we will either suppress anger, which means it eventually comes out in other unconscious ways, or we tend to lash out uncontrollably when we’re angry. Instead, we have to titrate anger, understand how to heal from wounds, and make the willful decision not to harbor anger.It’s also important not to “spiritually bypass” anger, by saying, almost too casually, “Oh, I just forgive whatever wrong happened.” Although forgiveness is an act of the will, doing so casually, can have negative impacts both for yourself and others.Finally, remember that learning to titrate anger must be done in relationship. This could be in relationship with God through prayer, reaching out for help with a therapist, or dealing with the people involved in the situation.We are all connected in the Body of Christ. Not only do we need to help one another, but those interconnected relationships affect the health of the entire Church Militant.Action ItemsIdentify what you’re angry about. If you’re unreasonably angry about something, look for what’s under that. It could be some unresolved event from the past. Be open to that.What about this event is emotion and what about this is the will? Am I harboring it? Am I acting out or gossiping?Choose something relational to do. Take it to prayer. Maybe you want to discuss it further with a confessor, with an individual, or with a therapist.

Overall TakeawayWe need to embrace three basic principles, as well as overcome the common psychological barriers to these principles, in order to exercise real love to one another. Learn this week about how to overcome avoidance, isolation and resentment--and how doing so helps us love more fully and completely.Key Verses of Sunday Mass Readings“You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel;when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.If I tell the wicked, ‘O wicked one, you shall surely die,’and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way,the wicked shall die for his guilt,but I will hold you responsible for his death.”“Brothers and sisters:Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another;for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”“Again, amen, I say to you,if two of you agree on earthabout anything for which they are to pray,it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.”Where Psychology Meets CatholicismHere are the three principles and the common psychological barriers that prevent us from achieving them:Principle One: Don’t try to escape the pain. Although it’s human nature to try to stop pain and suffering, we are called as followers of Christ to approach suffering differently. The typical psychological barrier is avoidance, whether that be addiction, binging on food or videos, or simply not addressing the issue. Instead, try to bring that pain to God, ask for His will and understanding. Try to see God’s providence, but accept the fact that we may not be able to understand. Instead, we may need to rely on faith.Principle Two: Don’t do it alone. Whatever the pain, come together with loved ones in prayer or ask for help. Address conflict, and find ways to accept the love and support of others. The psychological barrier to this principle is isolation. Although it’s good to take time to pray and reflect, don’t sink into stonewalling, resentment and harboring of anger.Principle Three: Destroy your enemies with love. It’s easy for us to brood about someone’s mistreatment or wrongdoing, but this can have a negative effect on us more than the other person. The psychological barrier here is getting locked into negativity. For example, if we’re so worried about someone stealing from us that we can no longer be generous. Instead, try to remain detached and recollected.One thing to keep in mind is that every person is at a different development point psychologically. It’s important to think about what is available in your arsenal of responses. In some cases, it may be best to walk away. Understand that this is a dynamic process. Work toward these principles while also being humble enough to know your limitations.Action ItemChoose someone you’re having a conflict with, and try to put these principles into action to make a true act of love this week.

Overall TakeawayIt’s so easy to forget to try to see the events of our lives from God’s perspective instead of our own. We want to be in control, and instead of looking with eyes of faith at our personal crosses, we tend to get angry, sad and disappointed in what appears to be an injustice, suffering, or other wrongdoing on God’s part.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.All the day I am an object of laughter;everyone mocks me.”“But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,imprisoned in my bones;I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.”“Do not conform yourselves to this agebut be transformed by the renewal of your mind,that you may discern what is the will of God,what is good and pleasing and perfect.”“‘God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.’He turned and said to Peter,‘Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.’”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyJust as Jeremiah has an “I’ve had it with you, God!” reaction in the first reading this week, how often do we feel that way about God? Yet, Jeremiah has this solid relationship with God, which is like “fire in his heart” giving him strength to see God’s providence.Just a few verses before this week’s Gospel reading, Jesus calls Peter His rock, establishing him as the vicar of Christ. Yet, just moments later, Jesus is rebuking Peter. In this week’s Gospel, Peter is seeing Jesus’ upcoming crucifixion only in two dimensions -- only through human eyes. With no crucifixion, there is no redemption. That’s the third dimension; that’s what God sees.We need to transform our minds to discern God’s will. We can’t understand all the events of our lives, especially the difficulties and sufferings with human reason alone.We need to renew our minds, addressing the psychological factors that get in the way of seeing in that third dimension, of seeing God’s perspective and His providential love.“Lord, that I may see!” We need to ask for God’s help and make an effort to see God’s providence. We need to listen, be small, trust in God -- and appreciate how difficult that is for us as fallen humans.Action ItemGet in the habit of trying to see God’s perspective. Take three sheets of paper and some quiet time and space. Think of something that’s troubling you. It can be something small that just happened or something more long-standing.On the first sheet of paper, simply write down what comes to mind about that situation.Pray that the Lord will help you see His perspective, ask to be enlightened. On the second sheet of paper, write down your perceptions and thoughts again.On the third sheet of paper, try to let God write it down. Ask Him how He sees the situation. If you have trouble with this step, reflect on why and bring that to prayer. For example, “Lord, I’m having trouble hearing you because I’m feeling so angry, hopeless, depressed, anxious, etc.”

Overall TakeawayAs human beings, we learn who we are in relationship to others. Because of our sin and the sin of others, this often results in an inaccurate picture of who we really are. We usually don’t see ourselves as God sees us, which often results in feeling “lost”. Learn how to begin to change that--and how we can allow Christ to “find” us.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“On that day I will summon my servantEliakim, son of Hilkiah;I will clothe him with your robe,and gird him with your sash,and give over to him your authority.”“For who has known the mind of the Lordor who has been his counselor?Or who has given the Lord anythingthat he may be repaid?”“And so I say to you, you are Peter,and upon this rock I will build my church,and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyWe learn who we are in relationship to others. When we grow up in dysfunctional families, this often leads to a lack of affirmation. We cannot see ourselves as beloved children of God if those around us do not treat us as such.Even the best of parents and teachers, in the human fallen state, cannot help us develop a true sense of how valuable and loved we are by God. There will always be distortions.Think of how many of us “know about” Jesus -- but how many of us really “know” Jesus?Jesus constantly selects people who are flawed and imperfect during His time on earth to help show them who they are in His eyes. We are the work of His hands--we are works of art.We need to learn to be found by God by loving ourselves, and we do that by bring ourselves into relationship with Our Lord and Our Lady.Action ItemTake some time this week to participate in an experiential exercise led by Dr. Gerry. He helps us imagine ourselves being called by name at the River Jordan by Jesus. Bring your experiences, feelings and thoughts from this exercise into your prayer life this week.

Overall TakeawayLearn the four essential things that are needed to allow God to grant our hearts’ desire. We also discuss the common psychological impediments to each of these things in petitionary prayer.Key Verses in Sunday Readings“The foreigners who join themselves to the LORD,ministering to him,loving the name of the LORD,and becoming his servants—all who keep the sabbath free from profanationand hold to my covenant,them I will bring to my holy mountainand make joyful in my house of prayer.”“For God delivered all to disobedience,that he might have mercy upon all.”“At that time, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out,‘Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon.’But Jesus did not say a word in answer to her. Jesus’ disciples came and asked him,‘Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.’”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologySometimes we tend to look down on petitionary prayer or see it as only being acceptable if the petition is requested for someone else. In this week’s Gospel, the Canaanite woman begs for Our Lord’s help. Despite the fact that Jesus seems to dismiss her at first, she perseveres.When God says what seems like “no”, it should increase our desire to ask again to grant our prayers, according to His will. We need to be humble and enlightened by faith and trust that He wants to give us what is the very best for us.Here are the four essentials things we need to have and do to allow God to answer our prayers:Have a Worthy Request. Be sure that you come to Christ with a pure intention in your petitionary prayer. Sometimes, we may feel that we are certain something is good for us but may not see all the details. Be sure to add to your prayer a request that God’s will be done in His answer. Confidence in Christ. Most of us have faulty God images that are based on our worldly relationships. It’s easy to lose confidence in Christ when people have disappointed us. Instead, we need to learn to see God for who He really is and have the utmost confidence and trust in Him.Stay Engaged. Just like the Canaanite woman, we need to be persistent in our request. Be humble and patient. Many of us may have a fear of rejection, which can lead us to give up on God or on working on our relationship with Him. Instead, we have to work to stay engaged, struggling and wrestling with God through our prayer request.Humility. Sometimes, making a petitionary request can activate shame, which can close us off to further engagement with Christ. The Canaanite woman is not full of pride. She accepts being compared to a dog and continues to make her request for the healing of her child. She is transparent and vulnerable to not only Christ, but to the disciplines and others in that public setting.Action ItemConsider the four essential things and think about where you might have psychological impediments to petitionary prayer. Then bring those things to Our Lord in prayer and ask Him to help you overcome them so you can grow in relationship with Him.

Overall TakeawayMany of us need to learn to down-regulate and re-focus our attention on God in order to better cope with the challenges of daily life. Learn a simple process that can help you slow down before making an impulsive decision.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“Then the LORD said to him,‘Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;the LORD will be passing by.’”“Kindness and truth shall meet;justice and peace shall kiss.”“‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’He said, ‘Come.’ Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyIn this week’s gospel, Peter follows his heart and asks to go out to our Lord. While he’s focused on Jesus, he’s walking on water, but when he notices the wind and the waves, he starts sinking. We often focus ‘on the wind and waves’ of our lives and lose our focus on Christ.However, Peter has great resiliency. As soon as he begins sinking, he calls out immediately to Jesus for help. He draws his trust and resiliency from Christ.Christ calls Peter in the midst of the wind and the waves; He calms the storm after Peter walks out to him. In order to hear and respond to Christ, we need to not only quiet our external environment but also quiet ourselves internally. We need recollection.We need to learn to filter out unnecessary external stimuli so we can focus on what’s important. We need to attend to our physical bodies, slow down our breathing, down regulate so that we can problem-solve with God’s direction, presence and assistance.Action ItemThis week when we are tempted to be impulsive, try the following technique. Remember SLPTA:S: Stop, don’t act immediately.L: Listen internally, reflect, check on your emotions and your physical state.P: Pray and be recollected.T: Think about the best course of action in this situation.A: Action. After slowing down and moving through these steps, then decide on your action.

Overall TakeawayIt’s easy to understand that we often translate our human experiences into how we do or don’t relate to God. If we have lacked safety and security in an important human relationship, it makes it very difficult for us to trust God. Finding ways to work through that disconnect is a key to a more intimate relationship with Him.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“Brothers and sisters:What will separate us from the love of Christ?Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine,or nakedness, or peril, or the sword?”“No, in all these things we conquer overwhelminglythrough him who loved us.”“The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.”“When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyWhen we suffer with psychological issues like anguish and distress, God is ready to help us conquer them overwhelmingly.We’re always stuck in this place of tension where we have one foot in the spiritual reality of God and the other foot stuck in our secular world where we’re often disappointed in the people and relationships around us.One main psychological issue in attachment theory is feeling safe and secure. When we lack this in a part of our human lives, we face a psychological catch-22. If we’ve experienced a lack of safety or security in our childhood, we assume safety and security will not be in future relationships. Therefore, we also don’t seek it.It’s hard to consciously ask God for safety and security when we unconsciously don’t believe it’s there.God gives special graces to those who have suffered from abandonment, abuse or death of a father figure. Often, there’s both a spiritual and natural hunger for God the Father who draws us into an even more intimate relationship with Him.When the crowds seek Jesus while He’s grieving in this week’s Gospel, He helps them. We are not an inconvenience to God. When we turn to Him, He is waiting for us.Action ItemThis week, work on creating an affect or emotional bridge. Consider sometime in your past when you’ve lacked safety and security, perhaps when you got separated from a parent in a store or were frightened by something. Take that to prayer, and walk through that experience with God, Jesus, Mary or one of the saints by your side. Engage God in a conversation about the experience, ask questions, share how you’re feeling, and allow Him to help you heal through that memory. The exercise combines prayer with working through attachment aspects of safety and security.

Overall TakeawaySometimes we think that doing God’s will is about simply bearing the cross and giving up good things in this life. However, when we do God’s will, it often leads to unexpected joy -- a greater joy than we would have imagined.Key Verses from Sunday Readings“Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heartto judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong.”“We know that all things work for good for those who love God,who are called according to his purpose.”“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,which a person finds and hides again,and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”“When he finds a pearl of great price,he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.”“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea,which collects fish of every kind.”Where Catholicism Meets PsychologyIt takes a level of humility to believe that doing God’s will ultimately brings us the greatest joy. Often, we equate God’s will with bearing the cross or giving up a good.For example, some people who struggle with addictions may believe they need whatever they are addicted to in order to survive, but once they are able to give that up, often with professional help, they find themselves so much more joyful and free.We often create our own “yokes” or problems that are not what God intends for us. We need to ask Him what we need; sometimes, it’s not apparent what we need to find the joy that God intends for us.The net in this week’s gospel is cast to collect everything: different fishes and other sea debris. It’s not our place to sort it out. God will do that in the end. Although we can judge actions as right or wrong, it is not our place to judge intentions or souls.Even if we do not verbally share judgments, if we harbor them in our hearts, it still affects our relationships with others. We must recognize how little we understand about others’ intentions.Action Item:Ask yourself, “What do I have to give up to do God’s will?” Think about what comes to mind, and remember it can be an objectively good thing. Then, ask “Will giving that up bring me more joy? More freedom? More peace?”