Baltimorons

Relive the O's delicious 11-3 victory over Oakland with Sam and Alan - and recall how unlikely said victory was looking in the early-going. Other topics discussed: why the Orioles can't hit junkballers, whether Matt Wieters is a lost cause, what we should order for lunch, how much longer we can put up with Jonesy's slump, the color pink, and much much more.

Ben Masten joins us to talk about the Yankees offseason, and the generally cavalier attitude towards starting pitching in the American League East. Plus: why urrbody so angry?

Sure sure, hooray Chris Davis, yahoo, whatever. Who in the name of Blue-Eyed-Jimmy-Palmer is going to PITCH, dammit?!

Kicking off 2016 by getting fired up about a number of topics, including (but not limited to): "The Big Short," HOF balloting, druncles, #FeelingTheBern (or #NotFeelingTheBern), and stadium funding. So, a pretty typical episode, really.

We ponder the implications of the Winter Meetings, the Republican Party, and the deleterious effect that each has on our sanity at this, the most wonderful time of the year.

In which the dastardly Nick Markovich challenges us to The Game of Games of Games, which involves Orioles trivia and disgusting jelly beans.

In which we return from a prolonged hiatus to discover a harrowing set of offseason quandaries and a heartfelt plea from a Mets fan to throw our loyalties to his cause.

As the Orioles wrestle with the decision to buy or sell at the deadline, we examine the pros and cons of both approaches. Plus: Ben Adams (Slate) on baseball's rapidly-evolving media strategy.

A wide-ranging conversation with Charlie Hoppes (of the dearly-departed Orioles Spastics podcast), covering the latest developments in Charlie's sleepwear, Charlie's thoughts on Game of Thrones, Charlie's dating life, and the Orioles midseason prognosis.

The Morons resume the road, with a sincere apology (and explanation) from Sam for the prolonged delay. Dave McKenna (Deadspin) joins us to explain why Peter Angelos didn't do as good a deed as he was given credit for after the Freddie Gray protests. PLUS: Shakespeare presages the latest Bundy Troubles.

Craig Calcaterra (NBC's Hardball Talk) joins us to talk about baseball's stodgy corporate culture, how to be a fresh voice in an increasingly stale media environment, and why the Expos are the In-N-Out Burger of baseball. Find Craig on Twitter @craigcalcaterra.

The Ryan Webb Franchise Report investigates the Chris Davis's rapidly-deteriorating ability to make contact, the rash of recent injuries, and offers praise to the city of Tampa Bay for its Baltimore impression. Sarah Estrella laments the demise of McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket. PLUS: essayist Matt Fried bids a fond farewell to the Cliff Lee Era in Philadelphia.

We're joined by Travis Waldron (Think Progress) to consider the multitude of issues raised by the week's events in Baltimore, and to wonder how we, baseball in general, and America can do better.

At long last! The much-anticipated 2015 Nickname Show, complete with overcomplicated puns and lots of giggling. Every player on the current 40-man roster gets a nickname, except weirdos like Oliver Drake, because really?

Alan files a remote report from the nether regions of North Carolina on the experience of missing out on all the #OpeningWeek #Excitement.

Sam and Alan lament the murky future of Matt Wieters but celebrate the burgeoning expanding around concussions in the NFL. Chris Luther joins us to bravely attempt to make wrestling sound interesting. PLUS: Henry Urrutia gets sexy.

The ideas are even more dangerous than usual this week, as Mina Kimes (ESPN The Magazine) joins us to advocate for government regulation of the professional sports leagues, and explains why that will NOT end up turning them all into Time Warner Cable. Plus: the Larry Bigbie Franchise Report tries to figure out, among other things, whether or not this is finally the Year of Machado.

The Nelson Cruz Franchise Report considers the legacies of Tom Brady and Craig Biggio, Mike Petriello (Fangraphs, Mike Sciosia's Tragic Illness) joins us to talk about the Orioles possibly-shrewd acquisition of Travis Snider, and Ben Masten casts Sam in the greatest role he's ever played: Alex Rodriguez's PR flunky Wheedly Smedlap.

Sam shares some fond memories of Ben McDonald in a special edition episode.

As the Dan Duquette Departure Drama fades (hopefully) into the rear-view mirror, Sam and Alan endeavor to pick up the pieces and look ahead with just two weeks left before pitchers and catchers report.

We consider our emotions, as well as those of Charlie Hoppes, late of the Orioles Spastics podcast. Plus: Dan sings!

A hearty salute to umpire Dale Scott, who recently declared himself "out at home." A requiem for Nick Markakis. Some undeserved bragging about our subtle understanding of the current Orioles roster, and a rare in-studio visit from Dan Duquette.

Sam and Alan invite noted baseball expert Nick Markovich to Hootenanny Studios for a spirited discussion on the game's many imperfections.

Sam and Alan debate the emotional highs and lows of the 2014 season, urge calm about the Chris Davis situation, and wonder why America is better at voting for MLB All-Stars than it is at electing congressional representatives and presidents.

On our last audio liveblog, we chronicled the gradual unfolding of the single greatest moment at Oriole Park at Camden Yards in 17 years: the clinching of the AL East by the 2014 O's. Somewhere at the other end of the spectrum lies...whatever this is.

A pregame show of sorts for Game 3 of the 2014 ALDS. We discuss, among other things, the historical illusions of Delmon Young, the Ned Yost debate, and why baseball is somehow better than participatory democracy, despite being way less participatory.

In light of 2014's division triumph, we ponder the legacy of the last AL East champion Orioles, which leads to a fairly damning assessment of the 1997 editions of your humble hosts. PLUS: the odd phenomenon of being congratulated by friends and acquaintances for the Orioles' success, and the correct way to feel about Jetermania.

Let's be realistic - none of us was thinking about anything (baseball-related or otherwise) this week besides the O's clinching the AL East. For episode 107, we decided to liveblog our emotions as we watched the Birds pulverize the Jays to capture the 2014 division crown. This episode is messy, a little weird, and full of guest appearances that keep the train on the rails just when you think it's about to jump the tracks for good. You know, a lot like the 2014 Orioles.

Ben Masten joins us to offer an actual Yankee fan's perspective on the Derek Jeter Farewell Roadshow, as well as the Bombers' potentially bleak outlook going forward. He also explains why he has not yet found a wife on MLB Singles Powered By Match Dot Com. The Andy Van Slyke Franchise Report talks JJ Hardy, WAR, and Ray Rice. PLUS: Alan receives a mysterious visit from an old friend.

Rosters have expanded, which means it's time to update the official 2014 Oriole nickname list. Plus: the Jake Fox Franchise Report looks at Chris Davis's inability to beat the shift, Jonathan Schoop's opaque future, and Buck Showalter's lineup juggling.

As in "Macha" and "Ubal." We talk about their respective extinctions, the role of luck in the O's success over the last 3 seasons, and check in with Andy Livingston (Impose Magazine) about the positively repulsive state of the sporting union.

As the trade deadline barrels towards us at top speed, we look at the Orioles options for improvement on an already very-good team, and also applaud Major League Baseball for its stance on net neutrality...which is a weird thing to find ourselves doing.

Gauging the bluster of the tradwinds, marveling at the idiocy of the Yankees' Chase Headley acquisition, lamenting Tony Dungy's remarks (and their subsequent distortion), and some Orioles-themed slam poetry.

Sam and Alan enjoy some bourbon as they answer your questions on the Orioles midseason status, opportunities for the second half, and the team's connection to particle physics.

In the 100th episode of Baltimorons, we celebrate the top 100 reasons to be an Orioles fan.

In which we prove that Travis Ishikawa is a warlock, check in on a live broadcast of the rubber match in a 3-game set between the Modesto Moon Pirates and the Afton Oracles, discuss Alan's Portugal-induced heartbreak, and oh yeah, some baseball stuff.

Ted Berg (USA Today) joins us to talk about tempering maturity expectations for the Manny Machados of the world, Alan recalls a famous tariff of yesteryear, and tears are shed for Matt Wieters. PLUS: the triumphant return of the Baltimorons Culture Corner.

Alan is too busy being excited about soccer to allow for any baseball talk, but Sam manages to squeeze in an exciting announcement regarding our next live broadcast.

Alan celebrates the legacy of Woody Guthrie, guest writer Jen Adams makes a generous contribution to human punderstanding, and Dan Duquette stops by to share a review of "Bull Durham."

Alan calls out the American moment with particular urgency, the Sendy Rleal Franchise Report looks at All-Star Game voting with a dubious eyebrow-raise, our geusts Paul and Jake from Ballometrics endeavor to bring the sabrmetric ruckus to the basketball court, and the harrowing future of advanced statistcal analysis rears its hideous head.

The Martin Luther Franchise Report has important information regarding your Friday night plans this week.

Alan ruminates on the connection between baseball and Hindu mythology, and our lawyer advises us of some new content guidelines in the wake of last week's podcast crackdown by A Certain Professional Sports Organization. We also chat with sportswriter and self-described "recovering lawyer" Wendy Thurm, who has some sharp insights on said crackdown (unlike our lawyer, who mostly communicates via text message). Plus: the shadowy origins of Dr. James Andrews medical practice.

Legendary sportswriter Pat Jordan joins us to talk about his recent Buck Showalter profile in Sports on Earth, Tim Nguyen talks about his bold quest to crowdsource the funds to purchase the Clippers from Donald Sterling, Alan reveals the strong influence of the occult in professional baseball, and a truly awful fish pun.

We remember the glory days of Randy Milligan, try to convince Alan that he should care about the National League, viciously beat the corpse of the Donald Sterling horse (including commentary from an actual Clippers fan), and talk to Padraic Lillis, the artistic director of the Farm Theater (thefarmtheater.org).

The Melvin Mora Franchise Report reminds us of its namesake's remarkable contributions during his 10-year tenure in Baltimore, and also covers the Orioles current third base woes, not to mention Cuba's role on the global stage. Sam and Alan also bid a fond farewell to one of the three Mets fans they know, and crack open the Hootenanny Studios Time Capsule for a Seventh Inning Sketch from a couple years ago that has proved remarkably not-prescient.

The Morons celebrate the proud legacy of Buddy Groom, salute the welcome certainty of the 90 foot distance between the bases, help Ben Masten create an MLB Singles (powered by Match.com) profile, and announce our first-ever corporate sponsor.

Sam and Alan attempt to process the various ups and downs of the first week of the 2014 season, and play a recording from Peter Angelos's secret audio diary.

Our annual tradition continues! The Morons bring you a complete list of convenient and hilarious nicknames for each player on the Orioles 25 man roster. The discussion is moderated by our friend Jen, whose loyalties, it turns out, are for sale. Plus, a special edition of the Seventh Inning Sketch from Old Time Family Baseball's Michael Clair.

Sam and Alan explain baseball to a skeptical friend, review the latest literary works of particular relevance to All-Weather Fans, and marvel at the ongoing idiocy of Dan Snyder.

The Morons check in from a moving rental car in sunny Sarasota, sharing their observations about America's most pendulous state as well as the youngsters fighting for roster spots in Orioles camp.