Back to the Barre

"Best mom hack you learned being on Dance Moms? How about: Don't try this at home!"We're always getting requests to do more Q&A episodes, so here ya go! If you're part of our Patreon then you're already used to us answering your questions, but not everyone has hopped aboard with all of our little Bitchettes just yet! So we figured what better way to relax and wind down after a pretty contentious week than with a little Q&A session. Joining us to moderate and sort through your questions is Intern Matt! No he's not just someone we talk about, he's real! Tune in to hear the answers to some of your most burning questions: What was the worst place to travel to for the show? What are Christi and Kelly's opinions on "gardening" with the good kush? What is their HBIC walk-out music (and do they know what that means?). And of course are they getting any closer to figuring out what pochina means?Quotes“We let Chloe name Clara, although Chloe kept campaigning for "Miley" because Hannah Montana was big at the time." (12:30-12:37 | Christi)“It's vagina adjacent, for sure." (21:45-21:47 | Christi)“We were like do you have any questions [about "the talk"]? Chloe had one question. I cannot say what word it was, but she said what does "The J word" mean!? It was because of a word that Paige taught her! Cause Brooke taught her!" (32:25-32:38 | Christi & Kelly)“who would die first fi you were in a horror movie? Oh the dumb bitch? Me. Oh no you'd be the killer. You'd be the one killing bitch! Oh, ok Jill would be the first to go." (38:30-38:42 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"My group should be 10 points above anyone else... Hold on, the group was 10 points above!" Perhaps it's just because things are about to get much worse but it's quite funny how in-stride our bitches handle some of Abby's most convoluted hoop jumps yet to make their children look bad on the second half of "Abby Strikes Back".First to deal with Abby however is Jill, who along with Kendall is absent at the beginning of competition. This is all for show as everyone knew behind the scenes that Jill was long expected not to be immediately present and Kendall wasn't given a solo for that very reason. But Abby knows the audience isn't aware of that and uses' Jill's absence to threaten Kendall with being replaced.As performances get underway Payton seemingly breaks her ankle and claims she's in an immense amount of pain. It's not clear at this point what the cause of her fall was, but Leslie worries this will put Payton first in line on the chopping block (since when is she on the team?). The group immediately begins to prep for the number without Payton, with Abby reminded them that they are all replaceable just in case they forgot.During awards we discover that while the group performed well, they didn't live up to Abby's standards... except they did? In a very confusing twist of logic Abby aims to throw everyone under the bus other than Maddie and Mackenzie, despite every other dance technically performing better point-wise. Ya just can't win with Abby!Quotes“Nice of you to join us! Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy! It's me, I pulled the bitch card that week. It was like the old maid. Who gets it? Me." (13:36-13:47 | Christi)“Cause we were in Florida. When we did the stand-off or whatever. Oh that was in Florida to, why were we in Orlando so many times? Cause Abby has a house in Orlando. Right, ok." (17:17-17:25 | Christi & Kelly)“Payton is in a wheelchair, crying. Holly is comforting her and here come the paramedics. Oh I think he was cute. Like oh can he take us? Abby's like hubba hubba and I'm like my foot hurts to! Ouch!" (28:58-29:11 | Christi & Kelly)“We are literally counting down the hours. It is like you are on death row and you are heading towards the electric chair. Are you nervous? Are you nervous to watch THE episode? " (37:45-37:56 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I feel that every Dance Moms episode from this point forwards should just be called like Abby Hates Us or Abby Screws Us Over." says Christi as Abby begins to push her luck by asking the moms to start promoting online to find replacements FOR THEMSELVES on Season 4's "Abby Strikes Back".The first open auditions for the ALDC are this week and Abby has not been making it easy for anyone, except for the Ziegler family of course as Abby states Maddy is the only child not up for replacement. Abby requests that the moms start promoting the auditions on twitter, which Holly calls out for being callous since who would want to help ensure their own demise? But even though only Holly said it out loud, it's clear to all the moms that things have gotten quite bad and are only getting worse. Jill consequently gets hung up on the previous week's competition order snafu, arguing Christi intentionally sabotaged the situation for her daughter's benefit. As we noted in the last episode this simply wasn't true and all it serves to do is pit the moms against one another instead of Abby.The Orlando auditions get underway with the Zieglers attending to help scout talent, however no other family agreed to do this for the same reason they wouldn't promote it. But Abby begins antagonizing some of the moms who get snippy with her, going as far to start singling out their children for ridicule and blaming their parents. Amongst the crowd are many future ALDC members, but was it really the first time Abby was meeting these girls? Or was there some off-screen shenanigans informing who got a leg up? Tune-in to find out!Quotes“I cried every time we had to walk into Studio A. Like Nnnoooooo! Noooo! I don't like it. It's terrible Studio A is where dreams are crushed and souls are smooshed." (30:53-31:03 | Christi)“We're not tweeting to replace our own daughters are we? Cause that's a little awkward. I agree Holly and yes we are." (36:39-36:45 | Kelly)“I mean I get that you need to learn how to use a mic, but not during a bathing suit dance. " (40:49-40:55 | Kelly)“Fallon has this whole TikTok about how this was a set-up. Oh really!? Yes because she said that she met Abby when she was 8 which was like 3 years before. She was always doing Abby's mater classes in Orlando." (58:56-59:11 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I am not a Dance Moms fan. I hate watching it!" mourns Christi, as even when she does nothing at all production manages to spin a scenario to get her in trouble with Abby. As the second half of "Two Can Play This Game" gets underway there is some confusion about the line-up of solo performances at competition. Jill had been under the impression that Kendall would be performing last, but Kendall is actually first up. Christi is also concerned about Chloe's placement and what the cameras don't show is that production explicitly told the moms the wrong performance order. While Christi admits she would personally prefer Chloe to perform last, she takes issue with how the show frames the matter as it will be used against her in the near future.But Abby personally is only concerned about showing up Cathy, so much so that when Leslie starts to argue in the audience Abby orders Leslie to shut up. Leslie cannot comprehend why Abby is treating her with disrespect, somehow not realizing this is what the rest of the moms always go through. While the ALDC performs well with the judges Abby keeps up the criticisms, because some things never change no matter how much you do what Abby wants! Quotes“That is the one benefit to having a C-section is I don't pee myself. I'm like an 18 year old down there. Oh gross!” (1:18-1:28 | Christ & Kelly)“They're chanting Cathy's name. Cause usually when we come out they'll be shouting Chloe or Maddie, but with Cathy you never know who she's bringing. So you can't really scream for the kids because she always has a different team." (15:20-15:35 | Kelly)“I think you just said something mean. Well I didn't say I wanted a kid to lose! Well you called them the B-Team so you basicaly said they suck and you're better than them. THEY ARE THE B-TEAM! The show is Dance Moms about the ALDC, [Cathy's team] is the the B-Team. Convince me otherwise Kelly!" (24:04-24:21 | Christi & Kelly)“I just want to point out that we can see that you have a coffee cup in the audience, just saying. Of course. Yours you always hid under the seat. I don't know if I hid it. If I had a coffee cup, you had a coffee cup! Yeah cause here is how it would go down: It would be lunch and Kelly would go I'm ready for wine how about you? And I'd be like yep and that was about it." (30:50-31:10 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Abby says to Chloe that she has the dancer's body. She has the look. Your technique shines through, you can nail it no matter what. listen to that positive shit! Hu huh. I'm willing to bet you Kelly that that's what she said to Maddie and they edited it so she says it to Chloe. She would never say that to Chloe," admits Christi reluctantly. Even when the show is seemingly throwing our beloved bitches a bone it's never that easy. Not helping the matter is Abby is using Chloe as a pawn in her little game on the Pyramid for "Two Can Play This Game".Even though Kendall led the trio that took first in last week's competition, she is placed lower than Chloe on the Pyramid. The only reasoning seems to be that it'll make Jill upset with Christi and set-up a solo face off between Chloe and Kendall at this week's competition. But these mind games take second place to Abby's primary focus, the return of Cathy and her Candy Apples.Cathy is determined to take back the limelight after loosing to Abby at nationals, but Cathy's team has had more time to prep since they don't have to film a TV show. So Abby dedicates extra days for the girls to learn the group dance, and threatens that if they can't beat Candy Apples then she might as well replaces the whole team!Quotes“You said you're going to be Miss Piggy [for Halloween], I'm being a dumpster fire. I think that's going to be the most appropriate thing I can be. You can be a dumpster picker like me!” (1:43-1:50 | Christ & Kelly)“It was really cute because the girl who was helping me, you could tell she knew who I was and she was kind of fan-girling. And I was like, 'Ok listen, I don't know how to check this,' and she was like, 'I know I listen to the podcast.'" (9:03-9:16 | Christi)“I just want to point out that this competition was like invented for Dance Moms, now it's freaking huge! Huge! Oh really? They have like 40 to 70 competitions per year or some crap. Oh my I didn't know that. Yeah, so I just want to say you're welcome." (12:14-12:31 | Christi & Kelly)“This is where [Abby] turned to production and screamed: This is stupid because Kendall has dark hair and should be Katy Perry and Chloe is blond and should be Lady Gaga. This is dumb, dumb, dumb! Whose stupid idea was this?!" (20:10-20:26 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"There's nothing else happening during Pyramid so of course the kids are listening. I don't know, half the time I wasn't listening. I was just standing there pretending. I was thinking about rainbows and lollipops somewhere." As Kelly notes, there is very little you can do when Abby has already prepared to dampen the mood of your day, and on the second half of the Season 4 premiere Kelly has opted to turn on autopilot and wait out Abby's rage. But not everyone is so fortunate as the girls must still face the music at the end of the day.Kendall is assigned to perform in a trio with Chloe and Paige, which Jill has mixed expectations for. On one hand it's an opportunity to stand out, which Jill believes is essential to getting Abby back on their good side and keeping Kendall on the team, but getting paired with the "troublemakers" also implies how little Abby thinks of her already. The joke is on Abby however as the Trio dance turns out to be one of the few bright spots in an otherwise lackluster showing by the ALDC at competition. Abby doesn't take this performance well, lecturing the girls once more about how they're all replaceable. She gets into a small fight with Leslie, whom finally pushes one too many buttons trying to get Payton on the team proper. Abby refers to Payton as a baby and when the girl ends up in tears Abby presses her on the matter and threatens that she needs to grow up or get lost. Quotes“The assistant in the room, like they were elbow deep in my [vagina], and she's like,' Oh my god I'm a big fan!' And I'm like OH MY GOD STOP! I'm like you're not a big fan. At least not at this moment.'” (14:01-14:17 | Christ & Kelly)“I just need everyone to know we were never comfy sitting up top. Not only were we emotionally drained but those stairs were not comfortable and that carpet was the cheapest carpet ever so it was itchy. So we didn't like it." (15:15-15:29 | Christi)“Holly's like Oh my god she clapped! And we're like,' Well, you know what? We all have ice skates cause hell just froze over." (21:44-21:51 | Christi & Kelly)“I'm like can we not use the word "groom" with children in any way shape or form? " (48:01-48:05 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I felt bad for Brooke, I felt bad for Chloe…I felt bad. I really did. You can just tell that it’s an ugly, ugly, ugly time,” laments Christi as the ALDC returns for another season of Dance Moms. While the girls visibly seem to be older, Abby is still the same old Abby. That’s maybe not quite true, she does seem quite a bit meaner!Abby reveals that she’s holding open auditions this season and states that everyone is replaceable. Everyone except Maddie of course, which Abby makes explicitly clear. Though it's clear this was meant to tee up Kelly's eventual exit from the show, Abby isn't content to just stir up the usual drama with only Kelly and Christi. At Pyramid Kendall is placed second, only moments late does Abby reveal her ruse that Nia is actually second and scolds Kendall for missing Booty Camp for vacation. Jill doesn't take kindly to this but Holly starts to feel as though Jill is attacking Nia over the situation. Meanwhile Brooke is late for practice as she instead befriends country singer Jana Kramer, which Abby attempts to take credit for setting up.Quotes“Dance Moms starts to go down [in ratings] and I think it started to go down after you leave and it just gets dark. And then I think, and this is not me just me saying this because I’m trying to be important, but I think it starts to really go down after I leave. Because the whole dynamic changes after you and I are gone.” (16:22-16:39 | Christ)“Booty camp is mandatory and team members knew about six months ahead of time. Correction, that is not true. We knew there was a booty camp, w e did not have dates.  " (31:04-31:12 | Christi & Kelly)“Leslie acts like we weren’t really friends. We were friends! I’ve been to her house. I used to go to her restaurant with her. Me and Abby went to her restaurant together! Like I was friends with Leslie. I don’t know what happened." (41:23-41:42 | Christi & Kelly)“Giana comes into Studio A with a cake that says “Congratulations Maddie - 2013 National Title Winner”. Did you notice at the bottom of the cake it says “And the rest of the ALDC”? Did it? I didn’t read it, it was in microscopic letters. It’s like Maddie!!!!….and the rest of you guys.”" (43:13-43:34 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"The show is not getting any better for you and I at this point. The only thing that's going to get better is we're going to leave." says Christi, to which Kelly readily celebrates. But until that time comes our Bitches are still stuck in the middle of the "Hurricane Abby" reunion.Abby storms out over her conversation with Kelly and the rest of the moms are brought in. Much is made about the pact the moms made to one another to not let their daughters perform for Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition and Melissa's breaking of said pact. Melissa claims she shouldn't have to be held to some agreement they made if it would provide better options for her kids. The only problem is no one forced her to agree to the pact at all and instead of simply making her intentions known she chose to lie instead. The discussion is not helped by Leslie and Kristie Ray who side with Melissa despite being out of the loop for the entire pact.Jeff continues to jump around maddeningly from topic to topic. Kristie Ray and Jill fight? Sure! Holly vs Leslie on parenting? Why not! As a last ditch effort to liven the proceedings Jeff asks Kelly to leave so Abby will return to the stage. The kicker is that Kelly is being asked to leave just as Brooke is coming onstage to make her national singing debut. In fairness as long as Kelly doesn't have to share room space with Abby then a win is a win.Quotes“I can't stand when they always ask other moms to jump in because these other moms never know the whole "thing".” (22:18-22:23 | Christ)“We are so used. Yes we are the sex workers of the Dance Moms community." (32:48-32:56 | Christi & Kelly)“[Abby] said that for the last 25 out of 33 years she put her personal life on the back-burner and set her aspirations aside for the benifit of other people's children. That's her job! Everybody has to put stuff aside to do their job!" (42:58-43:11 | Christi & Kelly)“I felt like we had other [group dances] that were better. But honestly we did so many damn reunions, pre-reunions, post reunions that maybe we were running short on group dances that everyone was in." (48:54-49:05 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Lucky we're recapping a really shitty episode today!" You know it's a bad one when Christi can't even start the recap without mentioning how bad it's going to be. Are any of you bitchettes surprised, it is a reunion episode after all! By far "Hurricane Abby" has got to be one of the roughest reunions yet as both Christi and Kelly are singled out without much support to fall back on.This episode marks Christi's return to the studio after her big fight with Leslie in New Orleans and Jeff isn't about to let her live it down. Despite Christi's sincere attempts at an apology by owning up to her mistakes, Leslie is unwilling to acknowledge her own part in the conflict and paints Christi as a troublemaker who is trying to avoid owning up for her faults despite literally having just done so. Abby takes Leslie's side and claims Christi has yet to apology to the rest of the ALDC and even her own daughter,. This is just completely false, but because Abby is "the star" she can set the narrative, leaving Christi little room to plead her case.Up next is Kelly who gets an earful from Abby about blocking the seats at the last competition. Kelly finds it ironic that the rules Abby holds up to Christi aren't ones she'd follow herself and Abby refuses to take responsibility for the incident. The conversation shifts to the time Kelly "snuck back in" to the the ALDC without Kelly being allowed to acknowledge that she only returned because she was under contract. Consequently Kelly is forced to be the bad guy once more. Will these moms ever get a fair shake?Quotes“I knew I was going to be the first one on. Which you never wanted to be the first one on the scene. I was watching and I was thinking like what bullshit that you had to go out then I had to go out... then Melissa, Holly and Jill got to go out together. Like it's so much easier when you're in a group." (12:21-12:45 | Christi & Kelly)“Leslie says the other moms are afraid to stand up to me. Um, I don't know if that's true. I feel like everybody stands up to eevrybody pretty well” (30:09-30:16 | Christ)“Brooke is an incredible dancer. Yeah, you're ruining it by being such a bitch!" (37:38-37:43 | Christi & Kelly)“If you don't want to go to competitions then don't be in charge of a competition team." (43:33-43:39 | Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"An interview chair is fun for five minutes, but for twelve hours? Like being in the room with Abby having to interview her, a solid 40% of the time being on her phone with her lawyer because she doesn't want to answer one of the questions I'm asking? Telling me that I should have spent 15 more minutes doing my hair and make-up or listening to the stupid people in my ear? It's just like constant berating AND I was hungover. So it was a little bit of a disaster on Tuesdays." It's a special day at Back to the Barre as Christi and Kelly welcome Dance Moms Producer Annie Leonard to sit down and answer some questions and to set some records straight. Annie also offers a frank reality check that while she's friendly with our lovely Bitches, it was ostensibly her job to ruin their lives when possible since you can't make good TV without some conflict!What does the Producer's job look like day to day? What was the most difficult aspect of producing Dance Moms and how did it compare to other reality shows? Which moms were the easiest to work with and which ones made a producer's job difficult? The answer to that last one may surprise you, so tune-in to find out the answers to the se questions and more!Quotes“There were a lot of things that we used to do in reality TV that you could get canceled for now. A lot of things on Dance Moms that you could get canceled for now. That's Dance Moms, every episode we did something we shouldn't have done." (04:49-05:01 | Kelly & Annie)“The EP gave this speech about not fraternizing with you guys and vice verca. I think there was some of that the season before and they were trying to curtail that or something? I think the fraternization was Kelly and I. Hehe, we were bad.” (13:26-13:40 | Christi, Kelly & Annie)“I felt like most of the time I was prepping Kelly she wasn't really listening to me. Ha, because I hated all of you!" (18:41-18:46 | Kelly & Annie)“[Cameraman] Eddie you could also tell he was a little bit of a partier. But he was holding his camera in the viewing room one day and one of our PAs was feeding him Top Ramen while he was filming. Which they loved." (26:30-26:44 | Annie)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Annie on IG: www.instagram.com/annebreiter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I'm a horrible human being. Well no you aren't you have cancer so you have a pass right? Isn't that the way it goes? Yeah, and this is the cancer episode!" Well now that Kelly has an excuse and Christi is still AWOL on the second half of the Dance Moms Cares Special, it should be smooth sailing from here with no more infighting. Right? Abby even has to step out to care for her mother, thereby giving the moms some Abby free time, things have to be smoothing sailing from here. Well it never is as easy as one would hope, this is Dance Moms after all!The day of the competition arrives and the moms find themselves waiting in a gymnasium for a change, leading to some reminiscing about their days as cheerleaders. But the happy times are short lived as Leslie continues her stand-off with Kelly, whom she sees as an obstacle in Payton's path onto the team. The moms are still confused by Leslie's insistence that Payton be included, as she's clearly out of place with the rest of the girls in both height and age, but Leslie doesn't back down. The moms also point out that it isn't a fair match between Chloe and Payton since Payton has had months to prep her dance compared to Chloe's few days, but once again nothing will sway Leslie from getting her daughter the spot she feels she deserves.Quotes“People ask all the time: Were these fans real or did production set them up? It's both. I think they came to see us but they gathered them all together so they were all in one spot when we arrived." (12:04-12:16 | Christi & Kelly)“Holly says this is a wonderful opportunity for the girls to express themselves using dance, give back to the community and hopefully find a cure for breast cancer. Which kid is looking for the cure? I don't know but one of you need to find it.” (14:38-14:51 | Christi & Kelly)“It was astounding when those kids won as much as they did because you are literally dancing against people who do nothing but the same dance over and over and over and over and over and over..." (23:29-23:43 | Christi)“Maddie gets first place for her solo...Maddie. Maddie gets Maddie, Maddie and Maddie gets Maddie in the first place for the Maddie category." (34:06-34:13 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Jersey Shore is not doing this shit. Teen Mom is not doing this shit. No, the Dance Moms are. Housewives they would never!" Christi notes as there really is no other show on TV that would make someone unbox a stuffed Broadway Baby, who makes their grand return to haunt all those who lay eyes on it.This week we jump ahead just a little bit to the first half of the "Dance Moms Care Special", which aired during Season 4 but was filmed immediately after Nationals. You can tell it was filmed right after Nationals because Christi is nowhere to be found, still enjoying some time on the beach while Abby decided last-minute to enter the ALDC into an Atlantic City competition to support the fight against breast cancer. It's a topic that hits close to home for Abby whose mother has been battling cancer for some time. The moms agree to take a mammogram for the program, the results of which are eerily predictive given Kelly's current diagnosis. We'd like to use this opportunity to remind all of you that preventative treatment is the answer, please get checked-up!Maddie is presented with a solo entitled "Maddie" that's a tribute to... well Maddie. It's truly the zenith of Abby's favoritism towards Maddie, enough so that Jill seems to finally catch on! Elsewhere Leslie continues to try and stir up trouble with the other moms, determined to make the most of Payton's limited time as Chloe's replacement on the team.Quotes“We're all getting some very much needed R&R. Rest and relaxation. But I made a commitment a long time ago to take place in a very very special Starbound event. No it was last week, but ok." (20:18-20:28 | Christi)“I think it was Love Island. Someone was like what happens if you get sick and they're like oh the producer said come when you're better. And I'm like what show is that!? cause that is not the experience I had.” (34:01-34:11 | Christi)“We had an overwhelming response to my new store. There's a line around the building and down the block. Do you think that they were excited to meet the cast of Dance Moms? I'm just guessing!" (43:30-43:39 | Christi)“Listen, I'll tell you what. If there's one thing the Dance Moms are good at, it is good at making up a reason why there is pressure." (54:48-55:04 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Those kids on that team want to beat you! Yeah I kind of think thats what happens when everyone there wants to beat you." On the second half of "The Big, Not So, Easy", its finally time for the ALDC and the Candy Apples to go head to head. "Coincidently" both teams show up at the same time, and the Candy Apples take up the opportunity to throw some shade over their missing members. Undeterred, the girls go out to give it their best.Mackenzie goes first with Dance Doctor, with the aim of retaking her title from the previous year. She does exceptionally well, but to the shock of both Abby and Melissa she fails to take first place. We don't get to see the child who did win, but Melissa assures the audience it was a phenomenal dance (though as Christi and Kelly point out, it was very unlikely Melissa saw that performance at all). Following her is Kendall with VooDoo Doll, and while she pulls it off with grace, the number was clearly choreographed with Chloe in mind and falls short of overtaking Maddie, who stuns with Amazing Grace for first.It all comes down to the ALDC group number Home Again and Candy Apple's entree VooDoo. The results of who won may not be surprising if you see the clear signals the show puts out, but Christi and Kelly's opinion of who should have won may surprise you!Quotes“We've come a long way with social media because if I had said to you in 2012, 'Hey Kel, some day you['re going to have to record on your computer, and know how to work things named Audacity and use headphones, you would have been like fuck you I'm not doing that. I don't know how to work any of it.' I still pretty much say fuck you I don't want to do it!" (11:52-12:12 | Christi & Kelly)“He came out and he's like, 'What's going on, where are you going?' and I'm like, 'Oh I just got kicked out.' For what? And I said I got in a street fight, and he said... I remember him very vividly saying, 'Well isn't that what they want?'” (21:58-22:09 | Christi)“I texted Cathy today and I said,' Hey, watching Season 3 of Dance Moms Nationals for the podcast. Honestly? I think you got robbed.'" (39:52-40:04 | Christi)“Everybody is dancing now before awards to "The Saints Go Marching In". No one on Dance Moms has any buisness dancing to a saint song, just saying." (44:09-44:18 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“We are doing an episode this week that I have been dreading for 12 years," mourns Christi as she can't wait any longer now that the ALDC is finally heading to nationals once more! It's been a long and arduous Season 3, but it all comes to a head on "The Big, Not So, Easy". Fair warning: this episode has a lot to take in so it's a two parter. Don't yell at us we've warned you!Nationals are being held in New Orleans so the ALDC settles into Off Broadway Dance Studio (or at lease a place nearby) to prepare. Things get off to a rocky start with the final Pyramid of the season. Payton is included even though she hadn't competed in the week prior, and even more baffling is the fact bellow her is Kendall who's duet was last week's standout performance. Abby then announces that the girls will be paired off against one another in solo matches to determine who will move on to Nationals, though as the moms note based on the choreography of each solo it's really obvious who Abby intends to win each pairing.But those plans hit a speed bump when all hell breaks loose over drinks at a local bistro. The moms are goofing around with voodoo dolls when Kristie informs them that Asia will be leaving the ALDC tomorrow to explore opportunities in LA. While that was obviously planned for (wink, wink), Christi and Leslie getting into a drunken fight was not. A producer has to step in to break up the fight and Christi unsuccessfully tries to get Leslie arrested. At least for Christi it's all downhill from there.Quotes“[Abby] says to Brooke, ‘Kelly swore she had it in. I believe her.’ That’s the only time in her life that Abby believed you, and it was because it got Brooke in trouble!’" (10:46-10:54 | Christi)“Kendall always wants her mom to shut up. At least our kids never told us to shut up? Like I think in the back of my kids minds they were like, ‘Mom you’re going to get me in trouble,’ but I knew they knew I was sticking up for them.” (11:36-11:50 | Kelly)“How many weeks did we have to sit there and pretend like, ‘Oh you have a chance!’ If that’s being a victim then yes I will say I was being a victim. But I wasn’t being a victim, that’s the storyline!" (29:37-29:48 | Christi)“Jill goes to Melissa, ‘As your friend I don’t recommend that,’ qnd then Melissa is like, ‘BOOBIES!’" (32:02-32:07 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I don't even know what episode it is. Season 3 Episode 36? There's so many episodes in Season 3, who thought this was a good idea!" exclaims Christi as it is indeed Episode 36 "Do-Si-Do and Do-Si-Don't". In order to stretch the season out as much as possible this week, Abby threatens that the girl's performance at In10sity Dance Buffalo Invitational will determine if they go to nationals or not. This is weird for many reasons. For one it's pretty clear who will and won't be going already, but also as long as you have money pretty much anyone can go! But we need to stretch out the Mackenzie and Asia rivalry just a teensy bit more to get people invested in Raising Asia, so the pressure is on.Abby reveals that Dance Spirit Magazine is looking to highlight one of the girls to showcase what the day in the life of an ALDC member is really like. Of course the girls they select is Maddie, though a little prodding by Jill reveals it was Abby who actually insisted on Maddie. Jill sporadicly shows up at Melissa's house during the photoshoot to try and convince the magazine to feature Kendall, though her persistence is met with annoyed looks. Jill gets a minor win when Kendall is paired up with Maddie for a duet, though Holly seems confused as to why Jill is excited at all.Jill knack for the spotlight continues at competition where she dawns full cowboy gear in honor of the country themed group dance and does a little dance, "Mackenzie taught her". Oh Jill, never change (maybe take off the chaps). Quotes“Hylands in their permanent spot [on the Pyramid]! I just never realized how much at the bottom they were. Oh it's always. And what's funny about it is Holly always talks about how Nia was at the bottom of the Pyramid. No, it was Paige and Brooke." (10:20-10:35 | Christi & Kelly)“She is saying insane things to the children. Although at this point our kids aren't even phased. Uh uh, I don't think they are. I think it goes in one ear and out the other” (12:40-12:50 | Christi & Kelly)“If you ever got called into that studio by yourself, it was an instant vomit trigger." (29:16-29:22 | Christi)“Boy Christi, you're going to fuck it all up in Jackson Square next week, no need to worry. Throwing your drink! Ugh, what a waste of a good hurricane." (35:51-36:06 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Who would take their child to a dance class that, when the dance teacher tells you to do something, you have a fucking panic attack?" asks Kelly as she reflects on the moment she finally reached the end of her rope with Dance Moms on "Divas Las Vegas". While the show attempted to tie off the proceedings with a small moment of Abby being kind, Kelly knew she was done by the end of this week's competition in Las Vegas.True to her word last week, Abby gives both Brooke and Paige solos. However, she will not be doing the choreography. Those duties will be taken up by choreographer Ricky Palomino. The issue is Abby is clearly resentful of Ricky's presence as, despite what they claim in the episode proper, Ricky's involvement was a Lifetime decision to give Paige and Brooke someone to work with who wouldn't just openly sabotage them. So Abby sets about singling out Kelly's daughters, designing an impromptu test for all the girls to solo perform their section of the group routine. Paige doesn't take well to the proceedings and ends up having a panic attack, noting that while she likes the ALDC she doesn't like Abby.Paige's high anxiety carries over into the competition where even during her own solo she can't manage to shake off the undue stress Abby has placed on her. She fails to complete her performance and Abby puts Paige on blast to the entire audience. This does not sit well with Kelly, whose finally been pushed to the edge one time too many.Quotes“A typhoon Vegas! And me and you are [stuck] in the restaurant eating salt! Pure salt. We were literally eating a salt sampler. It was so good!" (6:17-6:30 | Christi & Kelly)“Watch the cracks when you step on the sidewalk. Remember, step on a crack and you break your mothers back. Like I don't understand what that had to do with anything? I think she's on crack!” (21:03-21:13 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby was screaming at me mid-shit. Horrible." (25:22-25:26 | Christi)“You were no longer an ALDC member, neither was I. We never signed the contract. We would brign our kids to rehersal as far as dance Moms stuff, and I think they took a handful of classes here and there, but we weren't going to that studio because whent he crew wasn't there the kids had literally no protection from her." (51:41-42:04 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"They always blame everything on me. Like Abby being there is because of me? I had to be there. I was forced to come back!" Kelly notes for what increasingly feels like the millionth time as the show attempts to use Kelly and her kids as drama fodder on "On-Again, Off-Again Abby". Abby is still out for the week but makes a special appearance at the ALDC to present Kelly with a threat. Abby doesn't want Kelly there, but if she "insists" then Abby promises to work her children to the bone with new solos every week. That of course never happened, so all this meeting accomplished was scaring Brooke and Paige over the fact they have a mom whom Abby dislikes. And just as soon as she's in the episode, Abby disappears once more. She doesn't even show up for competition, which while rude is still a very much welcome break from the madness.Meanwhile Melissa is fretting over whether Abby will select her kids for Nationals. It doesn't matter that it's the producer's call who actually goes, Melissa sneaks off to discuss the matter with Abby privately. Though Maddie's spot is confirmed, Melissa tries to play coy with the other moms. To what end? Who knows, it's not as if anybody thought Maddie wouldn't be going.Cathy's Candy Apples are back, thankfully sans Anthony. In his place to stir up some trouble is Hadley's mom Yvette, who is gunning to climb the ranks as a choreographer. Although she puts her best foot forward, Cathy ends up getting credit for all of this week's choreography which leads to Yvette having a meltdown at competition. It does beg the question though, "Do you really want to be considered the next Anthony?"Quotes“There is a producer who said, and it's kinda cruel, but they were like, "Remember when Mrs. Miler was dying for like 18 episodes and every episode was saying she was going to die this week and then she said no and kept living. Like what do we do?'" (15:51-16:03 | Christi)“You know I wouldn't know what an AMF is. I never even knew what LOL was until recently.” (21:54-22:00 | Kelly)“'I might just be allergic to something. You're allergic to Dance Moms. It's not your comfort show it's your trigger." (43:08-43:13 | Christi & Kelly)“Nevermind. I was going to say she's so nervy, but I'm about to be a giant bitch coming up so nevermind." (1:13:40-1:13:52 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"If we're being honest, you cannot script Abby," admits Christi as she tries to articulate why Dance Moms was such a success and Dance Moms: Miami only ran one season. It's one of the many topics discussed on this week's bonus Q&A episode! If you're a member of the Back to the Barre Patreon then you already know it's the best place to get your questions answered directly by Christi and Kelly, but not ever listener is a subscriber! We thought what better way to wrap up this 4th of July holiday weekend than to give the main feed a little taste of what they're missing with a whole Q&A episode!What was the process like for filming dances? Were the dances really recorded twice, how did that work? Will the production ever release the unedited footage of Abby and Kelly's fight? Speaking of which, where did the girls go when fights were happening between the Moms and Abby? Were they whisked away and unaware of what was happening?Tune-in to find out the answers to these questions and more!Quotes“Because it's a holiday week... and there's a lot going on... and we didn't really want to watch Dance Moms! We both called each other cause we were supposed to be filming and, ugh, I didn't watched it yet!” (1:51-2:08 | Christi & Kelly)“Remember Brooke didn't know like half the things that happened with us and we didn't know half the things that happened with them. You know I think when we were fighting at the studio and they were around, they would take them to the bathroom I remember a lot.” (13:56-14:09 | Kelly)“You know my kids say I'm scary. Like when they would bring friends and boyfriends over they were always very quite and my kids were always like, 'They're afraid of you.' do you think they're afraid of you because of the show? Yeah! They're certainly weren't afraid of me in real life, I'm not scary.'" (21:49-22:03 | Christi & Kelly)“I need to know if there is something in the water in Pittsburgh cause there's some crazy bitches all in one condensed area. We are nuts." (40:00-40:07 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"This was the greatest moment in Dance Moms history as far as I was concerned." exclaims Christi since Abby is away "with her mother" and Gia is left in charge on "Gone, Abby Gone". There isn't even a Pyramid this week, how could this not be the best week ever? Cause Abby still found a way to make it awful! But most of that wasn't shown on camera, so prepare for a lot of 4th wall breaking to find out what really went down that Fourth of July weekend in 2013.Kelly is contractually forced to bring her kids back to the studio. The show frames this situation as Kelly sneaking-in her kids while Abby is away, just to get Brooke that solo she 100% wants. This immensely upsets Leslie, who is convinced Kelly has it out for Payton and fears they will be kicked to the curb if Kelly returns. A feud begins to quickly fuel between the two moms, though Kelly doesn't have anything against Payton in reality, so it's rather one sided. Kelly takes the bold step to call Abby and request a solo for Brooke, to which Abby informs Gia that if Brooke is given a solo she'll be fired. Gia downplays the situation and gives Brooke a solo to practice, knowing what may come of it. To add insult to injury it's far and away the worst choreography Brooke has ever been given. When Abby calls in to give the Hylands a piece of her mind, she crosses a line with Brooke that suspiciously didn't make it to air.Christi also takes the crown for "Worst Dance Moms Outfit". So tune-in to hear Christi relive the horror of it all!Quotes“Paris Hilton's book... and she refers to us in there! Oh yeah, about how ugly our clothes are. It's not Dance Moms level ugly? Ok Paris fuck off! Shut up! I mean maybe...” (8:39-8:51 | Christi & Kelly)“Every time you show up Payton gets kicked back off the team. But that's not my fault. That's a TV show, there's only so many spots!” (26:23-26:29 | Christi & Kelly)“So you're in your white minivan with your bar of clothes in the back and they came up. Walk me through it. Were they like you need to ask for a solo? Absolutely. None of us wanted a solo. None of us wanted to even be back." (30:16-30:27 | Christi & Kelly)“Let's take a poll. Do you think it's hoodlum if you say the F-word or do you think you're a hoodlum if you break a beer bottle on someone's face?" (42:08-42:16 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has a new set of eyes, the fur looks remarkable whiter than when Baby was alive! If the fur isn't even Baby's... could you even call this Broadway Baby at all? Abby decides Baby needs a proper-Abby sanctioned tribute dance and bestows Nia with her first solo in many months, though with choreography that has Nia literally bouncing around on her butt it isn't exactly the comeback Holly hoped for. Kelly makes her contractually mandated return this week as she "invites" the moms over to her house, with the exception of Melissa who is intentionally left out over her most recent actions over the break. While the moms can't convince Kelly to bring her kids back yet, she does "agree" to join the team on their trip to Xpression Dance Competition in Florida. Of course this doesn't sit well with Abby, who decides the best course of action is to block Kelly from sitting down during the show. Kelly responds in-kind by standing next to Abby for four hours, a full on Mexican standoff.Elsewhere Kristie Ray begins to prep for Raising Asia and starts to stir the pot as best she can, even though as far as the other moms can tell she has no reason to do so!Quotes“I swear to god I thought that was Abby. Just for a second I looked, did you see me get really scared? Oh my god I would die. Well they said she wasn't here not long ago. And you're like, 'Today?!' No not today.'” (4:53-5:02 | Christi & Kelly)“I say, 'I'm on the verge of needing a drink.' We're always on the verge of needing a drink. At this point I'm on the verge of needing it intravenous! Hey I got a port!'” (26:07-26:19 | Christi & Kelly)“They bring in broadway baby. That has new fur! That is not that baby's fur. No. I think it's like when someone switches a baby at the hospital, someone switched that dead dog!" (34:30-34:41 | Christi & Kelly)“If you ever want to see Kelly dance just AI her, cause she can't dance if there isn't choreography." (1:04:13-1:04:17 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Crabapples? I wonder how many things we can say that's not Candy Apples? We really go for it." observes Christi as the second half of "Clash of the Dance Moms" boils down to quite a lot of name calling and not much else. This week the ALDC is competing at Believe National Talent Competition in Lancaster, PA with Payton and Leslie filling in for the Hylands. Leslie is gunning for a permanent position, dragging Kelly's name through the mud every chance she gets and keeps reminding eveyroen to imagine a world in which she's a permanent ALDC fixture. While the insults to Kelly are music to Abby's ears, the rest of the ALDC unsurprisingly feels different as the only thing Payton brings to the table is sass, and they already don't need more of that! Even Abby's patiences gets tested by Payton's when the young dancer is revealed to be unprepared with her costuming, something Kelly and her girls rarely ever dropped the ball on.Anthony and Cathy continue to bicker over in the Candy Apples camp. Anthony threatens to leave if Cathy doesn't give him his space, he wants to insult her dancers as he sees fit. The show brings out Anthony's mother to admonish all those who would insult her son for his actions, expertly ignoring how vitriolic he is to everyone else. If there's one thing in Season 3 that continues to be annoying above all else it's Anthony being cruel and suffering no consequences for it!Tune-in to find out which fight this week was A LOT more tense in-person.Quotes“I just had another fraternity check-in next door. That's crazy. I don't understand why boys like pink houses. I don't know either. I'm telling you they're looking for Dance Mom Christi. They're gonna have to keep looking cause I'm not hanging out with fraternity boys. That sound illegal on a lot of levels.” (1:21-1:38 | Christi & Kelly)“I love that I'm not in this episode. I just get to listen to you be the bitch this whole time!” (21:42-21:46 | Kelly)“Anthony warns Cathy that he can just leave and that half of her team would follow him if he did. I highly doubt that they would leave a TV show to follow you." (27:27-27:36 | Kelly)“No the competition is not fixed, but every judge that's rating the kids liked our kids because they liked them on Dance Moms. So was it fixed? No. Was it fair? No!" (42:28-42:42 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We're not going to lose to that evil woman. I'm the only evil woman in your life. Well that's for sure." jokes Kelly while enjoying the fact she's still in exile during this week's episode. As "Clash of the Dance Moms" kicks off Abby is makes her disdain for Kelly's absence abundantly clear as Paige and Brooke are slotted at the bottom of the pyramid. With Kelly unable to criticize Abby, attention turns to Holly who is upset at Nia's middling placement on the Pyramid. Holly says she believes Nia is not receiving the attention from Abby that she needs to excel the way Abby insists that she wants, though Abby's attention is a double edged sword and our Bitches wonder if Holly isn't quite thinking through what might happen.This week's competition pits the ALDC against Cathy and Abby is taking no chances. For the group dance Abby gets ambitious and choreographs a piece entitled "Open Waters" which will require a prop shoreline that the girls will have to dance around. If they're not going to use it why bother with the stress of it? The creative direction leaves the moms somewhat in the cold, and Kelly's absence continues to add to the confusion of the group direction. To fill in the Kelly filled-hole in the group, Abby brings in Leslie and her daughter Payton, which of course "excites" everyone! But with Black Patsy back on the Candy Apples side, it might be useful to have a little Leslie in your corner.Quotes“Well I don't think you look sick. I think you look like a bitch. Why thank you. Thank you. I am Bitch #2!” (15:04-15:09 | Christi & Kelly)“I'm telling you like as somebody who was there you saw 1/100th of the fight. That fight was scary. (...) I really thought it was going to be physical. Like truly scary like physical.” (20:58-21:24 | Christi)“If I had a drink I would drink for contradiction. I don't have a drink! Ugh, well I'm not drinking that protein shot. Haven't opened it yet. Sorry, I'm ignoring all headbands because I do not want to drink that shit." (26:47-27:03 | Christi & Kelly)“So upstairs you and Holly comment on the group and how difficult it is trying to figure out what Abby is trying to portray. Yeah because it was stupid." (47:12-47:22 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We're not three minutes in and I want to puke," groans Christi as Dance Moms moves away from recaps and back into the thick of it with "Recital Rebellion". It's time once again for the annual ALDC recital and, in the intervening weeks since filming, it seems that something has gone amiss because even before Pyramid begins its clear everyone is on edge. No one more-so than Kelly, who is immediately greeted with Paige being placed at the bottom of the Pyramid for a minor error. When Kelly points out Maddie wouldn't have been held to such a standard, Abby punishes Paige by making her the only child who has to learn a new solo for the recital. This outrages Kelly as it's a clear attack against her daughter, but Abby won't budge. Consequently Kelly pulls her daughters from the recital, resulting in Abby staging a scene demanding another child take Paige's place, which nobody wants to do (so of course she has Maddie take it).Admits the prep for the recital Abby gifts the girls pieces from her new clothing line. Christi notes this is less of a gift and more of "Free Abby Promotion" with the girls as her billboards. The girls in turn also compete for the cover of Dance Track Magazine, which despite Abbys best efforts to skew the costume choices, doesn't go to a Ziegler for once! Plus can Jill make Pyramid with her own recital performance? Tune-in to find out!Quotes“It's season 3 episode 30. It's fucking episode 30, like how many episodes is this god forsaken season?" (26:55-27:02 | Christi)“There's something coming up that I say and I would never say those words in my life. It was the stupidest thing I ever heard. I sound like a doofus when I say it. I'm like who wrote that? I must have been tired. Either that or drunk! I'll say it I'm drunk! Whatever you need me to say, can I go home?” (46:04-46:25 | Christi & Kelly)“You're out! Call the cops! Why? What did you do? Hey but I got a cute haircut! Look for the one with cute trendy haircut! It's really cute, long in the front and short in the back. Oh gosh now I'm going to be bald. It'll be like go find the bald lady.” (1:08:18-1:08:35 | Christi & Kelly)“I love that you said just improve. What?! How do I sign up for this kind of treatment? I know! Like where is the line? I wanna sign my name on it!” (1:25:07-1:25:19 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We want to know how long it's going to take for somebody to come and try and arrest us. Wouldn't that be hysterical if we got arrested here? It would be a full circle moment and obviously about a decade in the making," our lovely Bitches observe as they reunite in person for a visit back to the old ALDC studio (wine bottle in hand and 100% not trespassing in any way) to cover Season 3's "Abby's So Far This Season..."Yes, it's yet another another recap episode! Why wasn't this aired after the Chatter episodes instead of just one episode after resuming normal episodes? Your guess is as good as ours! These episodes aren't notoriously well liked, but this one does offer the rare opportunity to see extended dance sequences in full, which includes some of Paige's best moves that Lifetime never bothered showing the first time around.Quotes“If I see Abby zoom by in her wheelchair while we're filming... It'll be the best day of my life. Yeah but it's also going to be the end of mine cause I'm gonna drop dead. I''m filming her. I will figure out how to work my phone, and I will not even let it be blurred!" (9:12-9:29 | Christi & Kelly)“[On SNL] the old Jojo and the new Jojo are talking about her being bad. She's like,"I was out all night doing bad things.'" That would be us! We're out there too Jojo. We're doing bad girls things right now except it's sunny not dark. We're daytime bad girls!” (23:12-23:38 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says,"Jill what were you thinking? She is a member of this team. Jill, you need to act like a lady!'" Do ladies pour a tomato soup can in their Chinese beef and broccoli? Do ladies throw chairs at children? Do ladies empty out their purse and find weird cookies? Do ladies leave whole Big Macs under their chair? We could keep going, but we don't have that much time Christi!” (31:50-32:18 | Christi & Kelly)“Do you really think Gino really has what it takes to be Maddie's partner? I don't know but let Gino prove his dancing ability, he shouldn't be having his daddy doing the work for him.'" Have you seen Gino dance as an adult? ... I have no words. It's so fucking good, I cannot. (Proceeds to play video) It is one fo the best dances I've ever seen, so it's really funny when they say Gino needs to prove himself. I'm like dude!” (40:54-42:38 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“This next scene is genuinely one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen on television. I cannot believe the words that are going to come out of Melissa’s mouth,” notes Christi as Abby's long not-awaited return to the ALDC heralds just as much drama as one would fear on "Tap Versus Hip Hop". If Pyramid weren't enough to dredge back up the Chloe loosing to Maddie debacle from the previous competition, Abby once again pits the two girls against one another with dueling solos. While Maddie gets a tap number that plays to her strengths, Chloe gets saddled with a Hip hop dance that is practically doomed form the get-go.The moms fume over Melissa's betrayal of their oath not to let their kids appear of AUDC, but Melissa plays dumb and acts as if anyone would have accepted the offer. Christi flys a little to close to the sun with her insults and brings out the worst in Melissa, who starts making outlandish claims about how the other moms treat her children. Melissa often finds success by getting on Abby's good side, but when Maddie underperforms ever so slightly at competition, it becomes clear that Melissa has a limit to what she'll tolerate.Quotes“This episode was filmed the first week in June. It aired in July. That is a fast turnover. We are now like only a month out from release. That is insane!" (15:11-15:25 | Christi)“I need to chug and do shots. [Abby] is not only wearing a headband, she’s wearing a headband with fake bangs attached. No! Yes, that are not the same color as her hair. Oh my god I missed it. It’s like a big swoop, like a big curtain and it doesn’t look like real hair at all. It looks like plastic barbie hair.” (39:12-39:35 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says to Melissa, “This is why kids need to be homeschooled, Mackenzie is ridiculous!”’ Because of recess! And guess what? In about three months? [Maddie and Mackenzie] are homeschooled. That was probably Mackenzie’s last day of school.” (46:45-46:59 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby reminds [the girls] that this is there first competition back since she was filming AUDC, and she’s like don’t let me regret coming home. Meanwhile we’re all thinking you can go back. Go ahead! Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. See ya!” (1:04:19-1:04:35 | Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she stuck around long enough for a sit down talk with Melissa, Jeff, guest comedian Alec Mapa and blogger Nadine Rajabi. But unlike last week where the producers could bring out Black Patsy and showcase drama clips in an attempt to enrage Chrisiti and Kelly into beefing, they can't go after Abby!What remains is the guests attempting to drum up some fun with pre-scripted humor, which just can't compare to that off-the-cuff savagery of our Bitches! No attempts are made to engage with Abby's behavior or question Melissa at all. Instead we're presented with such colorful conversations as whose the worst dressed, which results in Abby somehow picking Kelly!? Even Christi will be the first to admit she dressed much worse than Kelly, and that's not even mentioning Jill!Quotes“And Brooke is buying for everybody at the bar. Well that’s because we have a per diem. So Brooke is like I’m buying everyone here a drink and I’m like it’s on Lifetime. Finally after all these years it’s on Lifetime!" (7:34-7:46 | Christi & Kelly)“I really, to this day, would love a download of what the rules of the Bible Game are. Exactly! I don’t know there was a Bible Game! Let’s play the Bible Game! What are the rules? I’m willing to play I just need to know the rules!” (18:11-18:29 | Christi & Kelly)“Have you ever met someone who is more observant of your face than Jill Vertes? No. Cathy always pointed out shit on our faces too. Jill took it to another level. Jill would be like, “Christi, you have one eyebrow about a third of the way in, one centimeter down that needs plucking.”’ She probably hates looking at me!” (36:33-36:59 | Christi & Kelly)“We were talking at the bar about how we knew if you had pick-ups because they made you use words that weren’t in your vocabulary. I tell you that all the time! I know it and your kids know it too. What’s with all this talking about me at the bar? Who all is there and why are you all talking about me? Listen it was fun. I’m sure it was for you.” (52:15-52:38 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cups because this week, martini glasses are out in the open! With Jeff Collins moderating it's clip-show week on Dance Moms with special guests Patsy, internet blogger Nadine Rajabi and comedian Lisa Arch. Christi is famously not a fan of these episodes as it served as little more than an excuse to get replay value out of their fights and trauma, but this week at least it appears Christi simply was too drunk. The amount of "Amen to that!" coming from Christi is enough to make anyone cringe, but especially Christi.Segments include a Dance Moms trivia contest between the guests, with Jeff shilling out all of $10 for the winner! Plus what would a Jeff Collins hosted talk show be without some classic Jeff "comedy". We also get some quality hot-takes, like who Patsy thinks the biggest crybaby is on Dance Moms. However, do Christi and Kelly find themselves wishing they had made more of a connection with Patsy? Could she have been the ally against Abby they needed all along? Also is Kelly wearing Christi's clothes!?Quotes“Ok, my dress was ugly. You were wearing an ugly dress but it was my dress so it’s double ugly." (8:37-8:42 | Christi)“All of these compilations where it’s back to back… and I’m like oh my god that’s hard to watch: That’s exactly what the clip show is like. When I say the clip shows are hard for me to do it’s because that’s all it was. It was every freaking fight back to back to back. So there was no breathing in-between. It was go from one fight to the next fight and it was so aggressive.” (24:54-25:20 | Christi)“I love how foul language is Abby’s barometer for bad behavior. No you don’t use foul language, you just torture children.” (29:55-30:02 | Christi & Kelly)“And you’re like can I get an amen! What is wrong with me!? What is wrong with me? Please someone muzzle the blonde. In the Big Bird dress. It’s terrible.” (1:01:31-1:01:45 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included an inordinate amount of dance footage this week to compensate, but what is there is... deeply weird. For example: Cathy puts Vivi in charge of cataloguing her entire collection of ceramic bunnies. Why? Who knows!Cathy introduces The Apple Tree, her Cathy-themed replacement for Pyramid, and Jalen and Mari are squarely at the bottom. If they don't shape up during this week's competition in Columbus, Cathy is threatening to remove one of them from the team. Why does she need to cut anyone though? She has an ideal seven kids to match Abby, is this a production developed conflict? To make the conflict extra needless, Cathy insists that Jalen perform his first contemporary and triple pirouette, something Jalen isn't remotely ready to pull off. The undue extra attention on Jalen's teaching starts to upset Mari's mother, who is worried her daughter will be comparatively unprepared for her solo. It's up to Anthony to prep them both, but the best he can do is give Mari a literal panic attack!Meanwhile Abby continues filming for Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, bringing Maddie out to LA to perform a solo. But where is the rest of the ALDC? Tune-in to find out how Maddie really ended up solo.Quotes“Paige heard [the crew] talking about Menage a Trois’ and Paige was like ‘Oh my mom loves that.’” She meant the wine, they meant something else." (6:05-6:15 | Kelly)“On her podcast, Abby said something nice about Kelly and I. Now guys, there was a freaking solar eclipse this week, so clearly everything is out of alignment.” (18:20-18:30 | Christi)“[Anthony] says that she hired him because of his resume so she needs to let him work. I’m pretty sure that she didn’t hire him. Well he’s related to Jimmy Chriss. WHAT?! I did not know that. How do you know that? Because I hate the guy.” (51:46-52:07 | Christi & Kelly)“Poop turds?! I’m like who’s poop turds?! And then she’s always on us about being classless and I’m like you just said the word poop turds on national television, and now I’ve said poop turds on our podcast 87 times. ” (1:07:08-1:07:21 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this special episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly invite you to join them live from Mom's Weekend at Ohio University for a moderated Q&A in front of a nearly 1000 person crowd! With so many great questions from both the moderators and the audience, it only seemed fit to share them with our little Bitchettes as we're certain you've all been dying to ask some of these questions yourself! Like what do Christi and Kelly think of the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they care about the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they even really know Jojo Siwa? There are also many non-Jojo Siwa related questions that are certain to spill the tea you're searching for.Quotes“I just want everyone in this room to realize that we understand that Dance Moms would never be made today and the things I said on national television would not fly, ok? We apologize. We know that. We understand that it's problematic on many levels. Ok, you're the ones who keep replaying it." (7:09-7:27 | Christi & Kelly)“We knew that we could get mad at each other and that it was going to be ok. I think we all felt that way, all the moms on the show. Like we would fight with Melissa and everybody's like how does Melissa even talk to you guys, you were so mean? It's like if you have a sister. You fight with your sister and you hate her one second, but then like the next day you're going to be best buddies.” (22:21-22:45 | Christi & Kelly)“It was a top secret thing. Even the crew didn't know I was coming back!... If you ask the moms you know what they thought that they were waiting for? They thought they were waiting for a cake. There like we thought we were getting a cake because we won.” (36:34-37:01 | Christi)“Oh my god The Amazing Race. I actually applied for Kelly and I to be on The Amazing Race. I probably would have died. We would have both died!” (51:50-51:59 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“You were in Aruba and I had to work on my vacation, so I deserved a coffee cup,” Kelly says as she reflects on how unfair it was that even though the moms were ostensibly promised time off while Abby was filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she still got stuck being a stooge for the production this week while Christi enjoyed some R&R. Season 3's "An Apple a Day Keeps Abby Away" doesn't quite shake the ALDC entirely, but it's a Candy Apples centric episode this week as the producers see if Cathy might be able to sustain her own spin-off (spoilers she didn't).The episode begins with Abby in Los Angeles searching for a new location for her LA studio. Not content to leave the moms with nothing to do, she send Kelly, Jill and Holly to spy on Cathy's team in order to see what she's up to. Cathy meanwhile is bringing on new talent to try and round out her team with recruits Hadley Walts, Mari Dudash and Campbell Reynolds. We also see the return of Nicaya and Black Patsy, who are ready to go toe to toe with the ALDC once more. It's a volatile mix of people that the producers hope will lead to some drama, or at the very least Black Patsy assaulting Jill's nose?Quotes“Yes, I think Maddie and Mackenzie would follow you [Abby] to LA because you’re looking out for them! I don’t think we’d even be asked. Wait, last week you sabotaged my daughter at a local dance competition and you think I’m going to go to LA with you and trust you? Ok!" (24:57-25:15 | Christi & Kelly)“If anybody is going to get my little girl known and get the doors open for her it’s Cathy. Ooorrr maybe it’s Dance Moms. I mean it’s just a guess. Just a thought. Yeah I’m thinking it’s Dance Moms.” (32:22-32:36 | Christi & Kelly)“Well we’re all talking about Abby abandoning her studio in Pittsburgh but that’s all she ever wanted. Yeah I don’t know why she ever started one there. You have a point. You know like she never wanted to be there; she was always like she should be in New York or LA and training people to be on Broadway and all that. Like I don’t know why she stayed in Pittsburgh so long.” (51:07-51:31 | Christi & Kelly)“I just need to point out that not everyone missed Abby. I didn’t miss her at all. I didn’t miss her at all either. I’m sure my kids didn’t either. ” (1:23:56-1:24:03 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“This is like Top of the Pyramid for Suckular behavior,” says Christi as things really do suck on "Two Girls, One Solo". First of all, what sicko thought it was ok to name the episode THAT!? There are children here! Second, this episode is easily in Christi's Top 3 worst Dance Mom experiences so you know it's a rough one.Abby preps the next "powerful" group number, one that's dedicated to those living with cancer. It's a subject she cares about deeply, having lost her father to cancer. It hits especially close to home for Melissa who also lost her mother... but for some reason the show also wants to convince you that Kelly's dad died as well? Is this about Kelly's fight with Christi somehow?Meanwhile Abby decides to pit Maddie and Chloe against each other by giving them the same solo to perform. Christi notes this isn't fair to Chloe who isn't receiving secret training the way Maddie is, but Abby could care less. When Abby's little ploy doesn't go as planned, she takes matters into her own hands. Tune-in to hear the full story of what the cameras didn't show.Quotes“Let’s just say Two Girls, One Solo/Two Girls, One Cup… whoever named this is an actual degenerate of society. How dare you name a show with children Two Girls, One Solo. How dare you." (6:02-6:21 | Christi)“We have to take a drink, because I think that is the nicest Abby has ever been to our three kids. Holy shit, and she smiled at me! The apocalypse is coming. Cheers!” (18:46-18:58 | Christi & Kelly)“When Asia was like, ‘My dad’s dog, Diablo, died before I was born,’” I hit the floor. Like I can’t believe [she said that], and she was so sincere about it… She talked about that dying dog before. No, that was her crying because she wanted a puppy and Kristie Ray wouldn’t let her have a puppy; you’re getting your dogs mixed up. Oh, she likes to cry over dogs though.” (45:31-45:58 | Christi & Kelly)“Jill and I found your [Melissa] daughter learning her dance [outside of normal hours] and she was like, ‘Fuck you, you know nothing.’” Because I was like, ‘She learned the dance last week.’” How about Abby going, ‘What difference does it make? You ll know damn well Maddie can learn the dance in one hour and go out there and do it,” … Then why are you teaching her the week before everyone else?!” (54:47-55:07 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What could have ticked Kelly off enough to once say, “I always knew in the back of my head that the day would come where Christ would stab me in the back, and you know what? She did...”? If you ask either Kelly or Christi now they'd be hard pressed to give you an answer! It's time once again for Christi and Kelly to be fighting one another for some reason as the second half of "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" just about has everyone up in arms.Jill still believes Kelly is taking the opportunity Abby has given Brooke for granted, but Kelly is still worried about what Abby has in store for her daughter. What she might not have expected was Abby setting Brooke up on a date with her fellow senior dancer Kevin. For all the talk about "No Boys Allowed", Abby sure seems to love to make exceptions.Jill also starts a spat with Cathy as the ALDC arrives at competition, which only manages to worsen Cathy's already fragile state as Anthony has continued to increase tensions over at their own studio. Mickey is strongly considering transferring Gino to the ALDC, and Cathy could seemingly care less whether any of her dancers stick around.But how do Jill and Kelly end up fighting? Are these Bitches still going on about not calling that one time? Somethings never change it seems, though stick around for a rare moment of Abby being unambiguously nice for once!Quotes“[Abby] says I think Kevin could charm the pants off of anyone. He’s quite demure for a teenager. Ok, it is a little unnerving that Abby just said a 17 year old could charm the pants right off of anybody… He’s a minor Abby settle down!" (12:06-12:31 | Christi & Kelly)“I’m in my interview and I say this is the worst fight we’ve ever been in. Are friendship will never be the same after some of these things. You know what’s the funniest part about that? You ready? Neither of us remember this fight.” (21:06-21:22 | Christi & Kelly)“Let’s just drink, Cathy’s gonna wear fur in the next scene. Oh yay. Between Cathy and Jill I’m going to become an alcoholic. Ha, THAT’S the reason.” (28:18-28:27 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby says that they look “leggy” which is good. They were leggy. They were fucking eleven! Eleven year olds are leggy. Their legs are the only part of them that grow.” (40:51-41:00 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I’m ready to shoot myself” is not something you want to hear aloud too often, but this week our beloved Bitches find themselves repeating that A LOT as they struggle to get through what might the first episode to really push them over the edge. "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" is such a wild episode that this recording managed to be almost two hours long and we still only managed to cover half the episode!Abby is unsurprisingly upset with the ALDC after losing again to Cathy and spends Pyramid calling Kendall a crybaby, pretending Nia mad a ton of mistakes for some reason, and somehow complimenting Brooke but still placing her on the bottom. She singles out Paige with praise for standing up to Cathy and Anthony... even though Abby made her do that and still somehow victim blames her for letting it happen?Abby assigns Brooke to the Senior Group to join their upcoming performance. Kelly worries Brooke is being set-up to fail as Brooke hasn't received the same year of prep the rest of the group has had. Jill takes offense to Kelly being "ungrateful" and tattles to Abby about it! And yet somehow Kelly and Christi are the ones who end up in a huge fight about it?!Quotes“I’ll do a reenactment of Chloe when she got home at 2:45 or 3:00 AM. Really?! Yeah. Ugh those bad girls, I wonder where they get that from? I don’t know." (7:57-8:08 | Christi & Kelly)“[Cathy] says Gino has been texting Maddie and Cathy can’t have any of her dancers fraternizing with her enemies. This is stupid. Just making sure that we all think this is stupid. We all think this is stupid? Yeah. Cause like what are they saying to each other?” (29:15-29:31 | Christi)“This could possibly be one of the lines, that if we had to wrap all of the problems up of Dance Moms in one sentence, it could potentially be this line. She’s like you’re skinny, you’re blonde and you’re pretty. You’re telling me no one at school hates you? Wake-up! It’s psychotic!” (43:17-43:38 | Christi)“You take the coffee cup, you [flip it] upside down and are tapping the bottom. And I’m like you get that drip girl, you get that last drip out of there! I fucking rewound it three times. I was laughing so hard and you getting that last drop of “coffee” on your tongue, like I HAVE to chug this coffee cup. It was amazing.” (54:44-55:08 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"On a regular Dance Moms episode you drink on a scale from one to five. A reunion is a one to ten scale," says Christi as the Bitches start the 2nd Part of Season 3's reunion special "Tell All". While it might be a pretty easy episode for Christi herself, there's still enough Abby depravity to go around!Kristie Ray joins the discussion and goes on the offensive, taking the other moms to task for complaining about Asia crying. This is confusing to Jill as she professes that none of the moms care that Asia cries, only that they think it's weird it's being showcased as something to be ashamed of and that Asia isn't being held to the same standards as their own children. Abby and Kristie respond to the by calling Chloe a crybaby!Soon Cathy joins the mix and things get heated quickly. Paige opts out of her solo performance so she can avoid dancing in front of Cathy, leading Kelly to take Cathy to task for her recent conduct at competition. Cathy can barely manage to defend herself before getting into an argument with Abby. Professionally speaking Abby doesn't handle it well. Tune-in to see what nice words Abby has for Cathy's mother!Quotes“And did you notice through out the entire thing how much time they spent whispering to each other? No, you pay way too much attention. Well I’m trying to look for the little interesting things in the background so I stop paying attention first of all to my Miss Piggy curls, and second of all to the nonsense happening on stage that makes me want to poke my own eyes out!" (17:05-17:23 | Christi & Kelly)“Abby said the moms all think you and Asia are here for an ulterior motive. She was! She came because she had her own show and they were using our audience to elevate her on her platform!” (27:25-27:37 | Christi)“Jeff asks if [Melissa] is bothered by the fact that Sophia can out-spin Maddie? And at this point Jeff should have been removed from the stage immediately. Not only are you making millions of dollars of our trauma and dancing, but the fact you said spin vs turn? Stop talking.” (52:58-53:15 | Christi)“I cannot believe I’m the only mom who didn’t go to jail. Well I should say the only mom, I don’t think Holly went to jail. Wait…I don’t actually think a lot of people went to jail. I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT!” (1:03:59-1:04:09 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“This is not an opportunity to set the record straight, HERE is the opportunity now 10 years later to set the record straight,” explains Christi as even when the moms got to explain themselves, they were never REALLY allowed to. Consequently there's no hell for our Bitches quite like a Dance Mom's Reunion episode, and Season 3's "Tell All" is a two parter to make matters worse. It's always an excuse to get everyone riled up, and it riles these moms still a decade later. From the awkward stools the moms had to sit on to the bizarre choices made by hair and make-up, Christi and Kelly each despised the experience. Yet they also somehow managed to completely forget they fought in this episode, and over the same old-nothing argument they'd had earlier this season no less! Well... at least the girl's dances this week were pretty good?Things get off to a rocky start with Abby immediately gunning for both Christi and Kelly, though saving her worst remarks for Chloe that contain a level of indecency that remain unmatched. Melissa and Jill receive softball questions, but Abby chastises Melissa for not allowing her wedding to be public and filmed for the show. Meanwhile Holly discusses Abby's fashion advice, which she admits is genuinely good. It's funny that Abby can't seem to take her own fashion advice, but at least she isn't dressed as badly as Cathy!Quotes“I have deep-seated trauma any time I see anything that even looks like a reunion show. The minute I see a stage I want to vomit. Do you feel that way? Yes, and I want to vomit looking at us." (08:45-08:58 | Christi & Kelly)“She had to make sure [people knew that she had been] verbally assaulted and physically assaulted. But we were only allowed to say she was a bully.” (17:19-17:25 | Christi)“The audience says during the season [that] you said Kelly isn’t very bright. Do you still feel this way? Meanwhile it’s like Melissa did you buy your wedding dress and then this one is like do you think Kelly is a stupid motherfucker?” (37:17-37:29 | Christi)“Anybody who watched this show who thinks that Abby was not a horrible human-being to my daughter, watch that sentence! She said you don’t want me to call her stupid anymore instead of Chloe? I looked up other words: dim, dimwitted, half-wit I got lots of words. You fucking bitch.” (50:35-50:55 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty much any one of them, and yet this is an Abby centric episode. As Abby says, "Whom knows more about being a mother than Abby Lee Miller?" As these Bitches would like to point out, Abby does not have kids! But Abby does have her own mother, Maryen Lorrain Miller, whom she heads out to visit as clips about motherhood from previous seasons play out with new Abby "insights".We would sincerely like to know how much Abby was paid to say nice things, as she laboriously details how caring of a pseudo-mother she has been to the girls of the ALDC. She reframes past events where she was paid to be nice as signs of her benevolence, yet still manages too sprinkle a few insults towards Brooke in there.Quotes“This teacher walked by because we have a director’s lounge…and she had a coffee cup. She walked by and I’m like, “I’m so glad you went to the director’s lounge!” and she looked at me and was like,”You know this isn’t coffee right?” Nobody ever has coffee in those. Fuck no! Not at 2 o’clock at a dance competition are you kidding?" (06:42-07:04 | Christi & Kelly)“They show Melissa pushing Abby in the pool, which I think is the best moment in my life. But did you notice that Melissa is the one they told to push her in the pool, because if I had pushed her into the pool she’d have probably killed me!” (18:07-18:20 | Kelly)“[Abby] says in her interview, “My mother showered her students with love and kindness. She’s a very giving woman and I think I picked up a few of those qualities to!” HA HA! Then they go to the one/only moment Abby ever did anything nice with our kids. And she did not set that up! She didn’t have anything to do with it other than getting paid.” (43:10-43:29 | Christi & Kelly)“I never wanted her to look back and be like, “Oh I didn’t get to go to my 8th grade farewell because you made me work!” Right. And you did do a good job of making sure they did that but it’s funny because it’s like: Well, she might have not gone to her 8th grade farewell, but she went to Teen Choice, you know!” (51:44-52:04 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"How does Abby get to call him an ass like that and then acted shocked when he responds back," wonders Christi as things begin to go downhill fast on the second half of "Candy Apple Showdown". With the ALDC arriving at the Masters of Dance Art Invitational, Kelly preps for what remains one of her worst Dance Mom memories.Things get off to a rocky start with Cathy and Vivi M.I.A., so Abby has to start taunting Cathy's Dance Dads instead. But Dance Dad Rick's aggressive response to these gestures proves to be the first of many heated confrontations. Not too long after, Anthony accuses Christi of touching Candy Apples's props and gets a little too handsy. By the time Cathy returns she's making loudly clear with Anthony how poorly she believes Paige is performing during the Kids With Guns group number. Abby, overhearing these jabs, decides to make a spectacle of the situation and informs Paige directly what they were saying about her, and encourages her to stand up for herself.It's a sad state of affairs this week; certainly going to need more than three beers for this episode.Quotes“I knew exactly what it was [that Abby was referencing] and I was like oh I get it! But then I was like, did they show that? I don’t think so. You and I got it but nobody else did. Yeah. Well, story of our lives!” (09:29-09:41 | Christi & Kelly)“Do you feel we always say the same stuff in every episode? Yes. Ok. Yes, yes yes yes.” (19:41-19:46 | Christi & Kelly)“Do [Abby and Cathy] both like get along now? Yeah, but they were not always best friends. That to me is insane that people have the nerve to say that and act like they have authority. How many times did we sit there and have Abby hold up production because she did not want to be on camera with Cathy?” (24:30-24:48 | Christi)“I say in my interview that Paige and I came back because I wanted her to sit in the audience and show the adults that they can’t knock her down. Production made you say that, but go on. Yeah.” (32:30-32:34 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] atLumeDeodorant.com! #lumepodwww.LumeDeodorant.com“This is a drinky episode,” says Christi as she announces drink four only three lines into the first page of the "Candy Apple Showdown" notes. Though Bitch #1 and #2 are both incapable of drinking along this week, unfortunately for them this hulking two hours of an episode was just too much for one sitting, so they best prep themselves for when things get really dicey because The ALDC is back up against Cathy's Candy Apples and things are already off to a bumpy start.Abby's stint hosting The View was fun, but it cut into group rehearsal time with competition only days away. So Abby's focus is of course solos, no need to get that potentially controversial "Kids with Guns" group dance in order! With everyone focusing on solos, Kelly takes Brooke to a music producer to start getting a leg up on her career. Afterwards the moms take all the girls out for ice skating in the city, but ice skating is one of Abby's explicitly prohibited activities and the fallout is something none of the kids want, but comply after undue pressure from the moms (Melissa even makes Maddie cry!).Meanwhile tensions are growing between Kristie Ray and the other moms. First she doesn't allow Asia to skate with the girls and then she starts picking fights with Christie?! Even Cathy's camp is getting into shouting matches with one another! There's only one outcome to all this and it ain't looking pretty.Quotes“I don’t know if I would take Abby’s evaluation of what’s appropriate for children to heart if you’re a parent. I don’t know if I would use that as my barometer.” (09:34-09:42 | Christi)“I really look back on Kristie now with hindsight, because I think in the moment we’re always just so like UGH whenever there’s a new person. I think that you and I could have really befriended her.” (15:56-16:07 | Christi)“I don’t understand why she thought that it was so wrong for a seven year old to cry? I don’t know. Maybe she went to the Abby Lee Miller school of parenting.” (35:37-35:45 | Christi & Kelly)“If you guys had seen that contract you’d die. You weren’t allowed to open candy during a theater performance. You’re not allowed to ice skate, roller skate and god you weren’t allowed to ski. I get skiing, but you weren’t allowed to bike. You weren’t allowed to do anything but dance!” (50:27-50:45 | Christi & Kelly) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"The foot is done!" exclaims both Christi and Kelly as the arduous Mackenzie's Broken Foot Saga finally comes to a close. After all, would Melissa let Mackenzie's foot stay broken if it meant not getting to dance on The View? On Season 3's "The View From the Top", the ALDC hits New York for a special appearance on The View that is being guest hosted by Abby, all the while prepping for Masters of Dance Art Invitational the following day. In short the group needs to learn and rehearse five routines in two days time while combating Abby's ever inflating ego (one of those days is for The View so technically make that one day).The Mackenzie vs Asia rivalry hits a breaking point for Melissa when it seems, even if just for a moment, that Abby might choose Asia over her daughter for The View performance. Setting aside the ridiculous notion that Abby would ever let that happen, the possibility does make Melissa feel momentarily that she too could be treated like a Hyland or a Lukasiak. Between Kristie Ray's thank you card, Abby's weird threatening speech to Mackenzie and Melissa's pleading, it's a lot of spilled milk in one episode for a conflict that as our Bitches have repeatedly made clear is very obviously going to end with Mackenzie performing on The View!Meanwhile, Cathy is holding auditions to fill out her Candy Apples team in preparation for the New York Invitational. Her hopes to land a new boy on the team hit a snag when only one boy shows up for the audition!Quotes“I really have dropped the ball on life lately, because I’m just constantly running to get a drink before we record.” (06:16-06:23 | Christi)“It was a little inappropriate for The View but GOD her body was bangin’.” (21:03-21:08 | Christi)“Abby bought these costumes on the streets of New York, and half of them we have on our own little booty tops or whatever that we wore to class. But it’s hysterical because I think she charged the production company $300 per costume! They were $10 each, maximum!” (35:04-35:22 | Christi & Kelly)“I will give Abby a compliment. I, to this day, love the fact that our kids know terminology and there’s a million people who do not, who are professional dancers!” (1:03:48-1:03:56 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Do you want to vomit on her, or do you want to vomit on her?” asks Christi as things are as painful as ever on "May I Have This Dance". After coming in second yet again, Abby is fed up with everyone (but Maddie) and is starting to get particularly cruel with her comments during Pyramid (of course except for Maddie). Paige's treatment of the flag was supposedly so bad that she did "a disservice to this country," meanwhile Maddie was so good that Abby dubs her "America the Beautiful". It's a new level of awful that certainly caused no psychological damage whatsoever!Abby somewhat cheers up when she gets the call that she's been asked to co-host an episode of The View with an ALDC performance. The only person more excited than Abby about this news is Melissa, who franticly tries to make Mackenzie presentable as completely healed from her damaged foot and ready to dance. This strikes the moms and even Abby as suspicious, so Asia instead practices with the group for The View, but that won't keep Melissa from doing everything she can to get Mackenzie a spot in that line-up.In the meantime the girls are set to perform at Energy in Ohio, and Maddie has been "promoted" to co-choreographer and won't be joining in the group dance. Abby claims this is to teach the group self reliance so they don't just follow Maddie, but the moms point out that the girls are always being told to follow Maddie's lead! It wouldn't be a Dance Mom's lesson without contradictions!Quotes“Fun facts with Christi! A bunch of bullshit that no one really needs to know!” (05:24-05:30 | Christi)“The doctor said she had to wait two weeks [to dance again] and Abby said I’m not comfortable going against the doctor; it’s not been two weeks yet. Now Kelly, when Paige had a broken foot and you asked for two weeks off she was like: You know what? We’re going to have Paige jump round on the broken foot, with the cast, at a dance recital that we don’t need somebody in!” (15:58-16:23 | Christi & Kelly)“Every dance title that woman gives my daughter or your kid is a middle finger to the mother.” (19:40-19:47 | Christi)“I said Christi Ray has two sides. She has the perfect Dance Mom side and then the I’m a Stage Mom Bitch side. And I’m like wait no, I’m on her side.” (44:46-44:53 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Life is just a lesson," remarks Christi, "My Instagram bio literally says I make mistakes...some are on TV." At least she can be assured that on the second half of "The Politics of Dancing" the only one making mistakes as per usual is Abby, who is determined to pit the kids against one another no matter the cost.As the ALDC arrives in Philadelphia for Powerhouse Dance Invitational, Abby is already setting the girls up for failure. The group number "Free the People" requires the girls to dress in American Flag regalia, which means the moms have to get creative with their costume sourcing as they know if they cut-up a real American flag the controversy the producers are hoping for will be unbearable. Plus Abby wants the girls to vote between Maddie and Chloe over who performs the best solo (like it's a democracy?). Abby believes this will encourage the girls to do better, but the results might as well be a foregone conclusion considering Maddie is always given the best choreography. It's just an excuse to make Chloe feel bad because Christi won't kiss Abby's ass.Asia and Christi continue to be a thorny presence for the rest of the group since... well that's why they were brought on the show! Though the other girls clearly like Asia, she isn't reprimanded for crying or messing up choreography as every other girl would be. It's enough to rile up both Jill and Kelly, who call out the double standard but are framed as coming after a young child. It's just Abby's world and they're suffering in it.Quotes“Well I will gossip about you on the phone. I’ll get you. I’ll call Kelly! I’m gonna call Kelly. We’re gonna say you’re an asshole on the phone…TO EACH OTHER! Cause we’re the cool moms.” (10:03-10:16 | Christi & Kelly)“Anybody who thought that this show was scripted, I can see why because nobody is really this insane.” (16:33-16:40 | Christi)“There are a few things that Chloe talks about as traumatic Dance Moms experience, and this is in her Top Two. Oh yeah, this still hurts her at 22 years old.” (29:11-29:22 | Christi)“Abby was talking about the fact that at that point I would not do meet and greets with them, like that we did our own stuff. And I’m like right but all the other kids do stuff and you’re not picking on them because you’r making money from them.” (44:47-45:02 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod"You are 15 you piece of shit," is not exactly what Abby said to Brooke, but Christi couldn't have summed up the mood better as Abby froths at the mouth after losing to Cathy. As "The Politics of Dancing" begins, Abby is already throwing everyone under the bus, except for newcomer Asia whom Abby claims is upstaging the rest of the girls and putting them in their place (despite the fact Asia took first with non-Abby choreography and the girls did relatively fine in competition). To showcase her new star, Abby designs a patriotic group number that will feature Asia prominently waving an American flag. But as any Dance Mom will tell you, nothing scares them more than the dreaded "prop". Could Abby's pro-Asia stance be one prop fumble away from ending?Melissa meanwhile is focused on getting her children homeschooled, with the aim of letting the kids have more time to practice dance. While Holly preaches the importance of education, as far as the show is concerned it's dancing first and school second. It doesn't make much difference to Mackenzie, however, as she's still sidelined with a bad foot. How will her rivalry with Asia ever get off the ground if she can't?Quotes“Chloe called someone a Fucking Bitch in like preschool… not to their face but to me. She’s like she’s a fucking bitch and I’m like oh NO NO NO NO NO No NO NO…no no no we do not say such things Cupcake!” (02:40-02:56 | Christi)“I say clearly the ALDC is not a democracy, Abby is a totalitarianist. I’d like to point out that I obviously knew that reading 1984 in 6th grade was going to come in handy cause that’s the only time I’ve heard or used that word in my life.” (28:07-298:25 | Christi)“At this point dance wasn’t really like a social thing. No, cause they were so isolated. Yeah, and it was work… It made my kids love school more. Like my kids couldn’t wait to go to school.” (43:54-44:15 | Christi & Kelly)“We are the two old men on the Muppet’s Show. That we are! 100%. No wonder why people think we’re idiots! Cause we are!” (1:00:34-1:00:44 | Christi & Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Somebody has to fight with her,” remarks Kelly as we go through the motions of introducing Kristie Ray into the mom group on the second half of "Watch Your Back, Mack". Even though the moms (and especially our bitches) are on their best behaviors, tensions still seem to mount as Kristie begins to try and push the mom's every button. Though the show implies Melissa should be the one worried as Asia is being held up as the Mackenzie replacement, Melissa could seemingly care less and it's up to the other moms to pick up the dramatic slack. From Jill getting technical about who gets to sit where on the bus to Kristie trying to share some welcoming advice, new Kristie is having none of it and seems to be here solely to stir up the pot.More distressing to our moms however is that Cathy's team has come more than prepared to wipe the floor with the ALDC at this week's competition. Mackenzie is still out of circulation due to increasingly absurd foot problems, and the group dance doesn't offer much in the way of innovation or pizzaz. In fact the theme of the group dance theme reincarnation still comes off as confusing at best, indecipherable at worst. With Cathy's team running a well oiled machine under the tutelage of Abby's friend John, it might not be obvious to Abby quite yet but this is not going to be the best week for the ALDC.Also enjoy Christi and Kelly's attempt to go full Zapruder-film breakdown as they try (and somewhat succeed?) in studying footage of Abby's in-real-time breakdown towards the end of the episode.Quotes“I’m the only one that said something nice and she says I’m a bitch, with you! I don’t get it. Last time I’m saying something nice.” (04:32-04:38 | Kelly)“The fact that everyone of the kids on the show were fantastic dancers, because she made them be. If our kids had danced anywhere else, I don’t they would have been as amazing as they were. Cause it wasn’t like these seven kids were the best of the best from around the country that she hand selected. They were kid who went because they lived in the neighborhood.” (16:09-16:30 | Christi)“It’s a big smile. It was just pasted on there the whole time! Somebody needs to get that man a crest ad.” (27:21-27:28 | Christi)“Brian loved to bring on moms that made us feel ugly.” (34:40-34:43 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to postmates a drink," Christi jokes as she's booze-less going into what may be one of the strangest episodes of Dance Moms yet. Season 3's "Watch Your Back, Mack" is most notable for the introduction of Asia Monet Ray, the newest member of the ALDC and a former competitor on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. But to these bitches it will always be best remembered for one of Abby's truly unhinged decision to get her dearly departed Broadway Baby stuffed and displayed! Where was Abby storing the body for so many months? Why does she not think this is creepy and insane? Why did Melissa recommend it to here?!But Asia's presence, and by extension her mother Kristie's presence, is of more concern to Jill who is worried about the outsiders coming in (getting a little taste of her own medicine). Abby is setting up Asia to directly compete with Mackenzie in the hopes their rivalry will encourage them both to improve. Will Abby's method of trial by fire work out in the end? Has it ever?Abby better hope it does as she'll be facing off against Cathy once more at Energy Dance, and the Wicked Witch is feeling extra wicked this week. Cathy is prepared to make Abby eat her words and hires one of Abby's own choreography friends as a ringer to put the ALDC in their place. Mackenzie might not be the only one who has to look out for her competition.Quotes“I’m just not a cat person. I know. I wasn’t a cat person until we started finding them in dumpsters and bringing them home. You found me in a dumpster and you didn’t take me home!” (02:34-02:46 | Christi and Kelly)“And also, Chloe came out of my vagina, so clearly…actually that’s not true she came out of my womb, she was a C-section baby. This is untouched in case anybody’s worried. OH GOD STOP! You’re always talking about that area!” (29:05-29:21 | Christi and Kelly)“Abby really and truly believes that competition makes you better. Because Maddie and Chloe were head to head, that made them better. She wanted Mackenzie to get better, so that’s why she had someone Mackenzie’s age come in.” (20:23-20:40 | Kelly)“There’s many times that we’ve filmed this show that I’ve been like: Ok, now we’ve officially gone off the rails….NOW we’ve officially gone off the rails.” (36:25-36:33 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Due to techimical difficulties, we're replacing this week's epsiode with two bonus After Party episodes. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Due to technical difficulties, this week's episode is being replaced by two After Parties. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“In a 30 second span, two of the most iconic Dance Moms moments happen back to back,” Christi exclaims as "She's a Maniac" has those and more iconic moments to spare. To mark the occasion (and to celebrate one of her few episodes where she doesn't suffer) the Bitches welcome Paige Hyland to the Barre! Abby brings in Broadway dancer Rachelle Rak to choreograph the Golddigga group number. It's a not too subtle jab at Melissa, who was just secretly married, but it sure is fun to have to explain what a Gold Digger is to the kids! Perhaps more pressing is whether Abby will be able to square away her desire for control with Rak's non-Maddie centric choreography.Quotes“For us telling our points of view like on this behind the scenes thing, the kids version is totally different. Cause you guys were in the dance room and we didn’t know what was going on a lot of the time but you guys didn’t really know what was going on upstairs.” (12:09-12:24 | Kelly)“We all have come to learn that the Pyramid means nothing. Not based on any kind of fact or any kind of real information. Just kind of based on your last name, maybe.” (23:50-24:01 | Christi and Kelly)“It’s a cellophane wrap party…and we’re wrapping each other…in literal cellophane. I figure I should go put one of them on. Kelly! Maybe I’ll wear one of those this weekend on my face. I don’t think they work. Well they got to do something! Well it’s probably old and expired, it’s 12 years old at this point. Don’t you think the plant extracts might have dried up?! Maybe.” (56:43-57:10 | Christi and Kelly)“I am shocked that no producer picked that up and said, we’re going to incorporate this [Giant Doll Man] into a dance. Girls, this is Bob Fosse, he’s sitting on the edge of the stage, now dance for Fosse. Flirt with him, dig his gold.” (1:07:22-1:07:37 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertesFollow Paige on IG: https://www.instagram.com/paigehyland1Follow Paige on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paigehyland_3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I can’t drink I’ll die!" laments Christi as she nurses a migraine while trying to still overcome the fact Jill really seemed like she wanted Kendall to play Rosa Parks. It's the second half of "The Apple of Her Eye" and it's time for Power House Dance Competition where the ALDC is up against Cathy's boys once more, and this time losing to Cathy isn't an option.The last time Abby went head to head with Cathy, it ended in a water bottle fight and plenty of screaming, something neither Cathy or Abby is going to let the other forget. Cathy hires "bodyguards" to keep her safe and Abby taunts her for purse assault (despite the fact that Abby started it). But it all comes down to who bests who on the stage, and the ALDC brings their A-game.There are mishaps to be had on both sides however, and Kelly consequently has some very unkind words for Jalen that may cross a few lines. But will it cross as many lines as Paige and Chloe's outfits? For Christi and Kelly, they might just have to cross a line to put into words just how shocking those outfits even were! Also remember, today is your last day to order Back to the Barre merchandise if you want guaranteed Christmas delivery!https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barreQuotes“That is like our famous line and I have like no idea. My kids are like: Do this with me mom, and they want me to reenact it. I cannot do it! Because we’re not actresses Kelly we just say funny shit when it comes to us.” (04:17-04:30 | Christi and Kelly)“Abby tells Mackenzie to make sure that she helps Kendall with her facial expressions. Ok, like let me paint a clown face on so she’s smiling for the whole dance like whatever Abby.” (29:05-29:21 | Kelly)“Yeah I think you’re allowed to call your own kid a hooker.” (37:03-37:08 | Christi)“I didn’t really get a mug shot. They made a pretend one. They did because that was at the Top of the Pyramid, which how did you get to the top for fighting? God if you get at the top for fighting I should have been at the top the whole time.” (51:24-51:35 | Christi and Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Order your official Back to the Barre merchandise by Monday, November 27 to guarantee Christmas delivery!!https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barreXO, Christi & Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.