Awesome Marriage Podcast

We've explored the spectrum of narcissism, now it's time to dive into what you can do when those patterns show up in your marriage. Dr. Kim shares how to discern when to speak up and when to self-reflect, how to cultivate an atmosphere for healthy conversation, and why boundaries are essential for meaningful connection. Episode Takeaways: Forgiveness is not pretending something didn't happen. Trust has to be built consistently over time. Being a good christian spouse does not mean absorbing pain. When you see the same behaviors repeatedly, it's time to do something. Language matters when having productive conversations. Change starts with responsibility, not accusation. God sees you and He is near! Quotes from this Episode: You can forgive someone and still require accountability. Healthy relationships don't make you feel like you're losing your mind. Keep love as the goal. Boundaries aren't unloving, they are essential. Patterns that took years to develop don't disappear in just weeks. Labels can explain behavior, but they rarely heal relationships. Defensiveness feels safe, but it slowly kills intimacy. You can't control your spouse's willingness to change — but you can control your own humility. Most marriages don't break from one big issue, but from unaddressed patterns over time. Healing begins when curiosity replaces accusation. Take Time to Talk About It: What narcissistic or self-protective patterns do you notice repeating in your marriage? How does defensiveness show up for you — and what is it usually trying to protect? What would it look like to take responsibility for your part without minimizing the pain you've experienced? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue growing in love and intimacy, don't stop Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Are you caught in a maze and don't even know it? Today, Dr. Kim is joined by Ryan Wekenman to talk about the maze of self-centeredness we all have to navigate. When we begin living for applause, appreciation, or validation, we can easily drift out of sync with the Lord and into a life focused on serving ourselves—the exact opposite of what God calls us to. In this powerful conversation, Ryan and Dr. Kim challenge us to recognize the pull toward self-focus and invite us to shift our attention back where it belongs: fully on Jesus. We pray this episode encourages you to take the focus off yourself and go all in on Him. Episode Takeaways: Self-centeredness is a spiritual issue that affects everyone. Control is often at the root of self-centeredness. We need to be intentional about serving others. Self-improvement should not come at the expense of God-centered living. The Lord is our shepherd; we lack nothing when we trust Him. Finding freedom comes from letting go of the need for validation. Quotes from this Episode: If Satan can't get you to not worship, he'll try to get you to make worship about you. You don't need self-help. First and foremost, you need God's help. The problem isn't self-help. The problem is thinking that self-help will save. The way towards abundant life is serving and it's humbling yourself. There's so much freedom on the other side of letting that performer in you die. I think we have to be intentional about that because it's easy to absorb the culture and let that just become part of, well, everybody's doing it.- Dr. Kim I think one thing that God has taught me and I still struggle with at times is learning to celebrate others. - Dr. Kim I think what God is teaching me now, as old as I am, is that just do what I want you to do. - Dr. Kim Time to Reflect: Where in my life am I most tempted to seek applause, appreciation, or validation instead of simply seeking the Lord? How might my focus on myself be affecting the way I love and serve my spouse and the people around me? What is one practical way I can shift my focus from myself to Jesus in my daily decisions and interactions this week? Connect with Ryan: Website: ryanwekenman.com; redrocksaustin.com Podcast: Afterthoughts Podcast; Stories in Scripture Instagram: instagram.com/ryanwekenman YouTube: YouTube.com/@ryanwekenman

Today, Dr. Kim is joined by his bride, Mrs. Nancy, to talk about the freedom that comes from allowing yourself, your spouse, and your marriage to have a bad day without making it something bigger than it is. They share how they navigate the hard days, avoid the spiral of negative thoughts, and bounce back with grace and compassion toward one another. Your marriage is a gift—be encouraged to let bad days simply be days without letting them erode your view of your marriage. Episode Highlights: Everyone has bad days. Early warning signs that you're starting to spiral. The danger of turning your spouse into your opponent. The Lord has seen you through bad days in the past, be encouraged He can do it again this time. The powerful role grace plays when your spouse has little to give. See how our marriages are the textbooks for our children to learn from for their future marriages. Quotes from this Episode: When I try to force something and Nancy isn't ready, it's not going to go well. In everything you have to realize you're still on the same team. So, how can you help your spouse? The problem is the opponent. Satan rejoices when we are fighting, when we are angry with one another. -Mrs. Nancy Satan hates marriage. He hates christian marriages. He loves to destroy them. Every marriage can be a witness for the Lord. Being a role model for your kids, being the text book on marriage that your children need is a huge responsibility. Sometimes you have to dig down deep and find that love for your spouse. You don't have to feel it all the time, but remember that it's there. - Mrs. Nancy Once I learned to get past myself and get past my pride, and start giving you grace, it was a great feeling. -Mrs. Nancy Be vulnerable enough to say "I don't have much to give." Then as a spouse, "what can I do to help you." Just that is a step forward in growing your marriage. Take whatever is bothering you and give it to the Lord. As a christian you are forgiven anyway! - Mrs. Nancy Worrying about your marriage shows you care about it. Showing up for counseling means you care about your marriage. Don't compare your marriage to someone else's by what they post on Facebook. Time to Talk About It: How are we viewing our marriage right now? Think about the last time we had a "bad day" in our marriage. What helped us move past it, and how can we remember to do that again next time? What helps each of us reset after a hard moment or a tense day—space, reassurance, prayer, a conversation, or something else? What is one simple way we could extend more grace to each other the next time one of us is having a bad day? Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer before March 31, you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

What if your marriage isn't falling apart, but just missing a key insight? In this powerful conversation, we explore "Light Bulb Moments"- the sudden realizations that can transform a relationship almost instantly. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Light Bulb Moments in Marriage and the bestselling Love and Respect, shares how couples who feel miles apart are often just inches away from breakthrough. You'll learn how understanding gender differences, taking responsibility for your responses, and applying a faith-centered perspective can lead to deeper connection and lasting change. Episode Takeaways: Your response is your responsibility, and you don't have to wait for your spouse to change first. Gender roles shape how we respond when marriage gets tough. Small insights and honest apologies create space for connection, healing, and leadership at home. Love and respect are different, but both matter. Quotes from this Episode: Sometimes we feel miles apart in marriage, but in reality, we're just inches away from understanding each other- Emerson Eggerichs When we expect our spouse to heal and complete us, we set ourselves up for disappointment; only God can fill that space.- Dr. Kim Don't confuse silence for a lack of love.-Emerson Eggerichs Behind every marital conflict are two good-willed people simply missing each other's signals—not enemies, just different shades of right.- Emerson Eggerichs Apologizing isn't about taking the blame for everything—it's about sincerely owning your part, even if it's just 10%. Leave self-justification behind.- Emerson Eggerichs No one can make you hate. You are always free to choose how you respond—claim that freedom.-Emerson Eggerichs Take Time to Talk About it: What's been your biggest "light bulb moment" in marriage? Where have you shifted your focus from short-term fixes to eternal impact? Think back to your last marital conflict, where could you/ should you have owned your response in a way that honors your marriage better? Mentioned in This Episode: Learn more about Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his ministry Love and Respect Get your copy of Lightbulb Moments in Marriage Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to strengthen your marriage connection and overcome challenges? Check out Deep Waters, Deeper Love: Marriage Lessons from Jonah by Dr. Kim. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

We are quick to label selfish or defensive behavior as "narcissism," but what if the issue runs deeper than personality? In this episode, we explore how disordered desires, our need for control, comfort, or validation, shape the way we relate to others and quietly erode connection. This conversation unpacks the difference between healthy self-awareness and self-absorption, why freedom begins when we stop defending ourselves, and how real change doesn't come from trying harder—but from surrendering deeper. You'll be challenged to look beneath behavior and consider what your heart is truly after. If you're tired of surface-level fixes and ready for lasting transformation, this episode invites you to step out of self-protection and into humility, empathy, and freedom. Episode Takeaways: What we often label as narcissism or selfishness is rooted deeper than personality. It flows from disordered desires and a heart that wants control, comfort, or validation more than connection. Healthy self-awareness leads to growth, humility, and empathy. Self-absorption does the opposite , it narrows our world until everything revolves around us and what we want. Freedom starts when we stop defending ourselves. Change doesn't come from trying harder, but surrendering deeper. Quotes from this Episode: "Selfishness doesn't start with what we do — it starts with what we want most." "Narcissism isn't always loud or arrogant; sometimes it's quiet, defensive, and deeply fragile." "You can't out-behave a heart problem — transformation always starts inside." "The more we focus on protecting ourselves, the less capable we are of loving others." "Growth happens when we stop asking, 'How does this affect me?' and start asking, 'How did this affect you?'" "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less." "God isn't after better versions of us; He's after surrendered hearts." Take Time to Talk About It: Where do you notice selfishness showing up most in your relationships — words, reactions, expectations, or silence? How can you tell the difference between healthy self-care and self-centeredness in your own life? What might change if you stopped defending yourself and started listening with curiosity instead? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to fight off the cultural pull toward discontentment in marriage? Subscribe to our 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth reading plan. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Blended families are beautiful—but they're also complex. When two lives, two histories, and often two sets of kids come together, figuring out what "family" looks like can feel overwhelming. From divided loyalties and differing parenting styles to navigating ex-spouses, finances, and faith, blended families face unique challenges that many couples aren't prepared for. In this episode, we're joined by Ron Deal, director of FamilyLife Blended and author of The Smart Stepfamily. Ron shares practical wisdom, biblical insight, and deep encouragement for couples navigating stepfamily life. We talk about earning influence before exercising authority, managing divided loyalties, setting realistic expectations, and protecting your marriage while building unity in your home. Whether you're part of a blended family or love someone who is, this conversation offers real hope, grace-filled guidance, and a reminder that healthy blended families are built over time—on purpose, and with God at the center. Episode Takeaways: Blended families are not repairs of biological families. Creating a blended family involves new rules and dynamics. Respect and communication are key. Quotes from this Episode: "You are not repairing a biological family structure. You are creating an entirely new blended family structure where the rules are different." -Ron Deal "To be a great co-parent, you need to act divorced—respect your boundaries, let go of control, and focus on parenting your own way."- Ron Deal "Stop pretending you have the right to influence your ex's choices. You can share your preferences respectfully, but after that, let go and parent your own way." - Ron Deal "Your spouse is the most important adult relationship in your life—honor that allegiance, but never abandon your children." - Ron Deal "You cannot demand love out of a child. That's something they decide on their time."- Ron Deal "If you support the stepparent in front of your kids, if you are a team member in the parenting system, then your blended family has a chance." -Ron Deal "You cannot have two parenting styles under one roof; blended families thrive when standards are more alike than different."- Ron Deal Questions to Talk Through: Where do we feel the most tension in our blended family right now—and how can we face it together instead of alone? What is one way we can better support each other when parenting, scheduling, or outside relationships feel overwhelming? What does "progress" look like for our family in this season, even if it doesn't look perfect yet? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Ron and Nan Deal wrote The Mindful Marriage- it's a MUST read for all couples. Blended family? The Smart Stepfamily needs to be your next read! Check out more of what Ron is doing HERE. Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Caught in the trap of negativity towards your spouse? Start our Lord, Help my Critical Heart reading plan today. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

In a world full of distractions and pressure to perform, how do we keep our identity rooted in Christ instead of our work? In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with long time friend, Terry Storch, to talk about leadership, stewardship, and the often unseen cost of carrying responsibility that affects others. From navigating pressure and seasons of life to holding the tension between efficiency and presence, this discussion explores where leadership ends and identity begins. Be encouraged to establish healthy rhythms, protect what's sacred, and remain centered on Christ—remembering that the work will come and go, expectations will shift, and seasons will change, but all glory belongs to Him. Episode Takeaways: The "work" of life was never meant to give you value. Only our Creator can do that. Accomplishments and achievements are driven by healthy rhythms. The technology advancements create unique pressures and require adaptability. Finding centeredness in a distracted world is essential for faith. Quotes from this Episode: "Life is a season of wilderness after wilderness because we're not in the garden yet." "I want to be known for the small little things that I did for those people right around me." "The need for centeredness, the need for Jesus, is more important now than ever." "Technology, for the most part, is neutral, like money. It can be used for really good things and really bad things." "The real story is the commitment to surrender and release, knowing it's not mine. Take a Wider Look: How do I define my identity beyond my accomplishments, and what steps can I take to focus more on who I am becoming? In what ways might I be allowing the distractions of the world to pull me away from my core values or spiritual focus? How can I separate my calling from my vocation, and what changes might I need to make to align my work with my deeper purpose?

When we hear the word foreplay, most of us immediately think about the bedroom. But intimacy in marriage was never meant to be confined to a single moment behind closed doors. Today, we're talking about foreplay 24/7/36 the idea that emotional, spiritual, and relational connection is built continually, hour by hour, day by day. We'll explore how intentional connection outside the bedroom sets the stage for deeper intimacy inside it, why this matters so much for the health of our marriage, and how small, everyday choices can radically change the temperature of our relationship. Episode Highlights: What happens in the bedroom is directly affected by what happens outside the bedroom. There are five types of intimacy that every strong marriage needs. The goal is not perfection, it's progress. Quotes from this Episode: When couples neglect the other four intimacies and they only focus on the physical the relationship becomes transactional sex becomes about physical release instead of real connection. - Dr. Kim That's often how affairs begin, not with physical attraction, but with unmet emotional needs. - Dr. Kim When intimacy is only in the bedroom, the temperature of the marriage runs cold. - Dr. Kim Replace bad patterns with good ones. Don't just stop the negative, start positive. Instead of scrolling, ask about their day. Instead of logistics, share something you're grateful for about them and finally give each other grace. -Dr. Kim When you come home, prioritize your spouse above anything else. -Dr. Kim When there's unresolved tension,when there's hurt or anger or distance, that vulnerability feels unsafe. -Dr. Kim Awkward is better than distant. Have the conversation. -Dr. Kim Intimacy isn't built in a single grand gesture. It's rebuilt, one conversation, one touch, one prayer at a time. -Dr. Kim Questions Worth Discussing: What's one moment from today (or this week) where we felt connected—or disconnected—and why do you think that was? Did anything in the episode help you see everyday moments differently when it comes to intimacy or connection? What's one small thing we could do differently this week to stay more connected outside the bedroom? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Today on the Awesome Marriage Podcast, we're joined by Dan Purcell, creator of Get Your Marriage On! and the Intimately Us app. Dan is passionate about helping Christian couples build stronger, healthier marriages through better communication, playful intimacy, and gospel-centered connection. In this conversation, we explore the powerful link between spiritual and sexual intimacy in marriage. From God's design for sex to common misconceptions, practical habits, and healing struggles in the bedroom, Dan shares how faith and intimacy were always meant to work together. This episode offers encouragement and actionable wisdom for couples who want to honor God while cultivating deeper passion, joy, and closeness in their marriage. Episode Highlights: Experiencing really good sex in marriage requires living with virtue. What works in marriage will change over time. You must be willing to adapt together. Repair work is most of the work in marriage. Quotes from this Episode: This is a gift from God. He gave it to us to enjoy. You can't love a person you don't know. The more honest we can be about things, the better our marriage will be. Sex can be really fun. It can be incredibly replenishing. It can be good for your health. You want to get to a place where you're at ease talking about sex. Questions Worth Discussing: What part of this conversation felt most relatable to where we are right now? Did anything we heard make you think differently about how our faith and our intimacy connect—or even just spark a new thought? What's one small way we could be more intentional with each other this week—emotionally, spiritually, or physically? Mentioned in this Episode: Get to know Dan Purcell Listen to the Get Your Marriage On! With Dan Purcell podcast Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sex better for both of you- by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

How are physical health and marital intimacy connected—and why does it matter more than we often realize? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs.Nancy sit down for an honest conversation about the link between physical health and intimacy in marriage. They explore how stress, exhaustion, illness, aging, and life seasons can impact connection, desire, and closeness—and why caring for our bodies is not just personal, but relational and spiritual. This conversation helps couples navigate physical barriers to intimacy without shame or pressure, and instead with patience, understanding, and love. Whether you're in a season of strength or struggle, this episode offers hope, clarity, and encouragement to pursue intimacy the way God designed it—rooted in grace and mutual care. You'll hear: • Why intimacy doesn't stay effortless—and why that's normal • How sleep deprivation, stress, and hormones impact desire and connection • Why exhaustion often gets misread as rejection • How physical neglect creates emotional distance • What stewardship of your body has to do with loving your spouse • How couples can talk about intimacy without shame or defensiveness • Practical, realistic steps to rebuild closeness—even in demanding seasons Quotes from This Episode: Often as women, we feel like we have to do it all. We become physically drained and spiritually drained. -Mrs. Nancy Our bodies aren't machines. They need to be connected to the Lord and good health. -Mrs. Nancy We have to get past the stereotype that if you love each other that your sexual intimacy will be great. - Dr. Kim Body, soul and spirit- you have to work on all three to get yourself in shape, to live life to the fullest. - Mrs. Nancy The better I feel, the better I take care of myself, one our marriage is better, and two I have the energy and focus to serve Him and do the things God has lined out for me to do. -Dr. Kim Physical health and marriage are more connected than we realize. When one suffers, the other does too—care for both intentionally. -Dr. Kim You don't have to be 'super mom' or 'super spouse.' Recognize your limits and give yourself grace in each season of life.- Dr. Kim Taking care of your health is not just self-improvement—it's an act of love toward your spouse and those you serve. -Dr. Kim Even in illness, exhaustion, or stress, don't give up on intimacy. Adapt, support each other, and let these challenges draw you closer.-Dr. Kim You don't need a perfect body—just a healthy one that lets you show up for your spouse and God's call each day.-Dr. Kim Fitness is about being strong enough to live, love, and serve as God intended—not about looking a certain way.-Dr. Kim Questions for Conversation: How has our current physical season (energy, stress, health, sleep, life stage) been shaping our intimacy—emotionally and physically—and where do we need more understanding for each other? Are there any physical or emotional barriers to intimacy that we've avoided talking about? What would it look like to approach that conversation with curiosity, prayer, and grace instead of pressure or defensiveness? What is one small, realistic way we could care for our physical health together this season as an act of love and connection—not obligation? Mentioned in this Episode: Dr. Kim mentioned rating your intimacy in order to open the door to communication. We have a great tool for that! Check out our Love Making Survey. Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

In this episode, I'm joined by Lindsey to talk about her newest book, Don't Burn Your Own House Down—a powerful and practical guide for couples who want to stop self-sabotaging their marriage and learn how to protect what matters most. We unpack how unhealthy rhythms, unmet expectations, loneliness, and emotional struggles can quietly fuel disconnection, and why waiting for your spouse to "fix it" first often makes things worse. Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this conversation offers honest insight and hopeful tools to help you fireproof your relationship and pursue deeper connection in every season. Episode Takeaways Most marital damage is unintentional but preventable. Self-sabotage shows up in everyday habits. Waiting for your spouse to change first keeps couples stuck. Behavior change alone isn't enough. Healthy marriages are intentionally "fireproofed." Quotes from this Episode: Most couples don't fall apart because they stop caring. They fall apart because they stop considering each other in the little, everyday moments. Playfulness isn't a luxury—it's an essential ingredient for a thriving, connected marriage. Outdo each other in showing honor, and watch how your marriage flourishes. Scorekeeping in marriage poisons connection. If it needs to start with you, let it start with you. Your reward isn't just in the result—it's in the faithfulness and honor you show, even when it's hard. In every word and action toward your spouse, you either speak life or spit poison. When Jesus is at the center of your marriage, your own pride and hurts matter less—making way for unity, healing, and lasting love. Take time to Reflect: What little fire are you ignoring today? Are you believing the lie that it's your spouse's job to take the first step? What is one small change we could make this week to protect our connection? Mentioned in this Episode: Don't Burn Your Own House Down by Lindsey Maestas Lindsey is on Instagram! Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts! Episode Highlights: Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection. If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth. Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be. Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next. Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly. Quotes from Today's Episode: I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next? Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely. Mentioned in this Episode: Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

Marriage is one of the most meaningful relationships we experience—but when mental health struggles enter the picture, it can feel overwhelming for both spouses. In this episode, we dive into how mental health impacts the overall health of a marriage, what couples are really facing today, and why caring for your own emotional well-being is essential for a thriving relationship. Drawing from counseling experience and faith-based wisdom, we address common misconceptions, signs that mental health is affecting your marriage, and practical ways to support a struggling spouse without losing yourself in the process. You'll also hear encouragement for couples navigating anxiety, stress, or depression, guidance on boundaries and self-care, and insight on when to seek professional help. This honest and hope-filled conversation offers tools to help couples stay connected—even in difficult seasons. Episode Highlights: Mental health struggles distort how we see things. How to identify red flags that your spouse may be dealing with something deeper. How to recognize the difference in support and rescue. Encouragement to remain present in the difficult season. Quotes from This Episode: You can't build intimacy from survival mode. Anxiety tells you everything is a threat and depression tells you nothing is going to get better. Resentment builds when the healthier spouse feels like they are carrying the whole load. Your job is to walk alongside your spouse, not carry them. This is a season, not a sentence. Talk it Over Together: What helps you feel emotionally supported by me when you're struggling? Are there topics, emotions, or struggles you find hard to share with me? What makes them difficult? How can we check in with each other more intentionally moving forward? Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.

I'm so thrilled to have Dr. Kelly Flanagan back on the show. Today he is talking about his newest book The Road Less Triggered, focusing on the importance of recognizing and managing emotional triggers in relationships. The work of faith, self awareness, and compassion is vital in our relationships. Dr. Flanagan shares how to stay engaged, remain soft, and practically manage conflict in a way that brings connection to your marriage. Episode Highlights: Understanding Triggered Moments in Relationships Your body is an early warning system Living in the security of God's unconditional love provides a foundation of safety. The posture of your heart affects how you receive communication. Quotes from This Episode: Most relationship conflict isn't like D-Day—it's more like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same patterns until we decide to break the cycle. The heart of this work is restoring a sense of choice—the power to keep your heart open, even when you're triggered and it feels impossible. A response is the fruit of self-regulation. A reaction is a failure of self-regulation. You can't connect if you're protecting. Openness is required for real connection. Our culture pushes us to blame others, but real progress comes from taking personal responsibility for how we show up. Until we move out of being triggered and back into connection mode, we'll keep self-sabotaging every attempt to connect. Becoming a safe environment for the people you love inspires them to open their own hearts—and builds true connection. Seeing the ways we differ as sources of complementary wisdom, not flaws to be fixed, can revolutionize your relationship. Questions for Conversation: Think about a recent moment in your marriage where you felt triggered. What physical or emotional signals did your body give you, and how might noticing these earlier help you respond rather than react? Consider a way your spouse differs from you that has caused tension. How could reframing that difference as complementary wisdom rather than a flaw shift your approach and deepen your connection? TRIGGER CHALLENGE: Together, identify one habit or action that makes each of you feel safe and heard. Commit to practicing that habit in your interactions over the next week, then reflect on how it affected your connection. Mentioned in this Episode: Read The Road Less Triggered Connect with Dr. Kelly Flanagan Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse differ and that's a good thing. Find out how to Celebrate Differences in Marriage, rather than allow them to divide. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge

In a culture that celebrates busyness, rest can feel almost impossible. In this episode, we explore the ancient and life-giving practice of Sabbath and why it matters now more than ever for our marriages and families. What did God intend the Sabbath to be—a rule to follow or a gift to receive? Through Scripture, practical wisdom, and real-life counseling insights, we unpack how rhythms of rest renew our emotional, spiritual, and relational health. You'll hear practical ways couples and families can begin reclaiming Sabbath together, even in the middle of busy and unpredictable schedules, and why choosing rest may be one of the most meaningful investments you can make in your home. Episode Highlights: Rest is a rhythm and a gift. Rest shouldn't be legalistic, it's an invitation. Taking a sabbath has physical and spiritual benefits. Avoiding the sabbath can lead to spiritual dryness. Culturally we are so distratcted and overly engaged; and it's not what we were designed for. Quotes from this episode: Man was not made for the Sabbath, the Sabbath was made for man. It's a gift. The Sabbath wasn't made to restrict us; it was made to refresh us. When we're tired, we don't choose our battles well. The sabbath reminds me who's really in charge. As Christians sometimes we feel like the busier we are for God, the more we are being faithful- That's a lie. Celebrating Sabbath looks different for everyone. Choose what brings you and your family closer to God. Rest is not lazy. It's not about not doing anything, it's about doing things differently. If you're exhausted, you can't pour love, patience, or joy into your family. Rest is essential for healthy relationships. You can't just hope for Sabbath rest—be intentional, make a plan, put it on the calendar, and protect that time. Questions to Start the Conversation: How does busyness currently show up in our marriage and family life, and what has it cost us emotionally, spiritually, or relationally? What would a life-giving Sabbath look like for us in this season—what would we need to stop, start, or protect in order to experience true rest together? What is one practical step we can take this week to begin building a rhythm of rest that honors God and strengthens our connection as a couple? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.

Communication is the #1 issue couples ask for help with and in today's episode, have got the goods to help you overcome some very common communication mistakes! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today's episode has practical, actionable advice to improve the communication in your marriage. Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all so he's here today to help us avoid those mistakes, and to build better communication instead. Episode highlights include: Three of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction. The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls Quotes from This Episode: When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I've never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim I think it's easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through. - Dr. Kim I've done it, I've seen it in other wives: It's easy for us in parenting to discount our husband's opinion. - Lindsay Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim As a parent with kids in the home, it's great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them. - Lindsay I identify with all three of these, I've done them all. It's not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim Questions for You: Do you use "I" statements to communicate what you need with your spouse? For example: Instead of, "You always ignore me when I'm talking," say, "I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I'm talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say." Do you have questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame in marriage? Send them in here and Dr. Kim will be answering listener questions in an upcoming Q&A episode Mentioned in This Episode: Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim's FREE webinar, "7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make" Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you! With Dr. Kim's One Thing email, you'll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage. The Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email that gives you practical ways to be intentional to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE!

How's the romance in your marriage? How does it compare to when you were dating? (… and does that matter?) Romance can fall by the wayside in marriage because it seems like an "extra" that you'll get around to when you have extra time or money, or if you feel inspired to make a grand gesture. But today Dr. Kim shares several reasons NOT to let that be the case in your marriage. Listen to learn why you need to bring the romance back and HOW to realistically make that happen. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Dr. Kim shares several specific ways romance benefits a marriage What does romance look like for men vs. for women? What to do if you're just not feeling it Whose job is it to make sure the romance is good? Quotes from This Episode: "Most people would say at some point it was there. So how do you get it back?" - Dr. Kim Kimberling "We kind of quit doing romantic things because we're not feeling it. Sometimes we have to go ahead and do them, so that we feel it again." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Marriage is a lot better when you've got romance in it." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "I think we'd like it to come naturally, like it does in the movies." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "It's ok to have the conversation. We have to get past the mindset of, 'If you really loved me, you'd know.'" - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Romance is a great way to show your spouse, I see you, I appreciate you, and I care about what you care about." - Lindsay Few Questions for You: Have you talked about romance with your spouse? If not … Ask them: What is sexy to you? What is romantic to you? Don't judge their answers! Answers may change over time, so check in every now and then.

Want better connection with your spouse? One thing we hear a lot from couples is that they don't feel close to each other or that their relationship feels like it's missing some depth. That's why today we're re-airing this episode from Dr. Kim and Christina that talks all about emotional intimacy and gives you ideas of practical ways to deepen the emotional intimacy in your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: What is emotional intimacy, and why does it matter? Warning signs you need to grow in this area Emotional intimacy killers to avoid Tips to start working on this - alone, and together Quotes from This Episode: "It is hard work knowing someone. You have to pay attention. It takes work to be intimate." - Christina Dodson "Laziness and business are going to block your intimacy, so we have to fight against those things." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Give yourself opportunities to connect." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "It adds value to my marriage for me to have a relationship with my friends, just like it benefits our marriage that he has guy friends." - Christina Dodson "You could have had the best childhood in the world and you still have baggage because we're human. That's okay, and you can deal with that." - Christina Dodson "You can't be emotionally intimate with your spouse if you aren't aware of your own emotions." - Christina Dodson Mentioned in This Episode: Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it's our gift to you for your donation of any amount. Your marriage can only be as healthy as the two of you are. The Bible says, "Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord" (Lamentations 3:40). Our new Self Check-In Guide will help you do just that! Print out this Feelings Chart and use it to help you talk about your emotions. Our Questions To Help Your Spouse Open Up resource is a simple way to help build the closeness between you and your spouse. Accountability is a biblical and helpful tool for growing in holiness.

The Awesome Marriage Podcast is on winter break, and over the next four weeks we'll be sharing some of our favorite past episodes with you. First up: Finances! No one loves talking finances, but we do think you'll love today's conversation with Julie Baumgardner! Julie shares how to get curious about what money means to your spouse, how two spouses' separate financial backgrounds and "money stories" can stop being a source of tension, and start becoming a shared value. Listen to this episode if you're ready to get on the same page with your spouse about finances this season - without fighting about them! Episode highlights include: Questions to start a productive conversation about finances with your spouse How to uncover the hidden money lessons you learned growing up, then to get on the same page with your spouse. What recent research says about the connection of money and marital happiness How to learn more about your spouse's perspective about money Ways to work together toward shared values around money in your marriage QUOTES: "You have different perspectives about money. You don't necessarily talk about what it means to you, how you think about it, therefore you argue about it." - Julie Baumgardner "You can have conversations about money without having to be methodical about every single penny." - Julie Baumgardner "If you can't figure out how to live within your means with a little, it will be very complicated to figure out how to live within your means with a lot." - Julie Baumgardner "It isn't 'You're right, I'm wrong,' you're being curious. And in being curious, you're learning." - Julie Baumgardner "If you can tell that money is creating stress, what is it about money that's stressful?" - Julie Baumgardner "Keep your eyes wide open for where God is calling you to join Him in his work. Be aware, and where you see a need, be a Kingdom builder. " - Julie Baumgardner QUESTIONS FOR YOU: What matters most to the two of you when it comes to money? It's never too late to define your core values around money in your marriage. What is it about money that's stressful? If it's "what ifs," then name the what-ifs and talk through them. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: We found Julie's article on this topic SO helpful: Do finances in childhood impact your marriage? Research says yes Winshape Marriage online and on Instagram Find the Money Habitudes game online 6 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource You can be part of the Awesome Marriage mission by helping to get marriage content to the hurting marriages across the globe. Join our mission today!

The holidays promise joy and togetherness but for many couples, they also bring stress, busyness, and mismatched expectations. In this episode, we're helping you slow down, reconnect, and approach the season with intention. We talk honestly about why couples often drift spiritually and emotionally in December and offer simple, realistic ways to stay grounded in Christ and connected to each other. From aligning holiday expectations to creating meaningful traditions, you'll walk away with practical tools to cultivate peace, gratitude, and unity in your marriage. Whether this season feels exciting or overwhelming, this conversation will help you not just survive the holidays—but truly thrive together. Episode Highlights: The holidays can magnify an already existing disconnect. When Christ isn't the center of the holidays and your marriage, both will suffer. True joy doesn't come from a full schedule. Quotes from Today's Episode: When we take our eyes off the true reason for Christmas—Christ—we get caught up in the world's chaos. Don't abandon what nourishes your soul just because life gets hectic. The habits that sustain you all year are even more vital during the holidays. Keep your year-round rhythms strong—pray together, make time to communicate, and carve out quiet moments as a couple amid the December rush. Acts of generosity spark joy and deepen your connection. Intentionality is everything—if you aren't purposeful, the busyness will steal your time and memories. Release the pressure to do it all—focus on what brings true joy to your family. Give yourself permission to let go of traditions that drain you, making room for new ones—or simply space to rest, bake cookies, and enjoy music by the tree. Couple's Conversation Guide: 1. Which part of the holidays tends to be most stressful for each of us, and why? 2. Is there a simple spiritual practice we could commit to together this December? 3. Where do our expectations differ when it comes to gifts, gatherings, travel, or downtime? 4. What new tradition could we create this year that fits who we are as a couple right now? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram. It's not too late to start our Very Married Christmas Couple's Advent Calendar. Our Annual Marriage Check Up Guide is the perfect way to assess what's working and set new goals for what's not. We gathered all 665 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so wives can better meet their husband's needs. 10 Things Husbands Want Their Wives to Understand Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. How do we take a season that is often filled with stress and anxiety and turn things around? An Awesome Marriage Christmas goes over four things you can do as a couple to reduce the stress and anxiety of the season and help you focus on Jesus. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at Dr. AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Speaking of being intentional! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Husbands Want.

No matter what season of marriage you're in, intentionality is essential. It's what keeps the spark alive, rekindles romance, and helps you withstand the temptations and pressures of everyday life. Chelsea Smith joins me to talk about her new book, "I Do" Today: A 52-Week Guide to the Marriage You've Been Waiting For. This conversation will encourage you, inspire you, and challenge you to pursue a marriage marked by purpose, growth, and joy because you were never meant to settle for anything less than an awesome marriage. Episode Takeaways: A healthy sex life is vital for a healthy marriage. Serving your spouse before you feel like they deserve it will change your perspective and the atmosphere of your marriage. Never settle for what you know about your spouse- stay curious. Only God's design for marriage leads to the true fullness He intended for your relationship. Quotes from this episode: "Marriage is the hardest and most rewarding relationship we have in this life." - Dr. Kim "We can't do it on our own." - Chelsea Smith "The best gift we can give our children is a healthy marriage." - Chelsea Smith "Our marriages are the strongest evangelistic tool we have." - Chelsea Smith "Sex is different in a Christian marriage because there's a spiritual component." - Dr. Kim "The marriage of your dreams isn't a fantasy." - Chelsea Smith "The power of thoughts towards your spouse can change everything." - Chelsea Smith "The marriage of your dreams is not difficult; it's work." - Chelsea Smith "I want people to know that we still work at it. We've been through tough times too, but it's worth it." - Dr. Kim "You can't just put them in a box and set aside. A lifetime is not long enough to learn everything there is about your spouse." - Dr. Kim Couples Conversation Guide On a scale of 1–10, how intentional have you been about investing in your marriage in this season? What's one thing you could do today to move that number closer to a 10? Are there any resentments, assumptions, or unspoken expectations that might be clouding how you see your spouse? Does an "awesome marriage" feel attainable to you right now? If not, why—and what steps could you and your spouse take to move toward it together? Mentioned in this Episode: Chelsea Smith is on Instagram "I Do" Today: A 52 Week Guide to the Marriage You've Been Waiting For. We gathered all 665 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so wives can better meet their husband's needs. 10 Things Husbands Want Their Wives to Understand Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. God's design for marriage is the best blueprint for an awesome marriage, His Mission, Our Marriage: Building a Christ-Centered Marriage will challenge you to remember your marriage is on mission for the Kingdom. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Speaking of being intentional! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Husbands Want.