Awesome Marriage Podcast

We've explored the spectrum of narcissism, now it's time to dive into what you can do when those patterns show up in your marriage. Dr. Kim shares how to discern when to speak up and when to self-reflect, how to cultivate an atmosphere for healthy conversation, and why boundaries are essential for meaningful connection. Episode Takeaways: Forgiveness is not pretending something didn't happen. Trust has to be built consistently over time. Being a good christian spouse does not mean absorbing pain. When you see the same behaviors repeatedly, it's time to do something. Language matters when having productive conversations. Change starts with responsibility, not accusation. God sees you and He is near! Quotes from this Episode: You can forgive someone and still require accountability. Healthy relationships don't make you feel like you're losing your mind. Keep love as the goal. Boundaries aren't unloving, they are essential. Patterns that took years to develop don't disappear in just weeks. Labels can explain behavior, but they rarely heal relationships. Defensiveness feels safe, but it slowly kills intimacy. You can't control your spouse's willingness to change — but you can control your own humility. Most marriages don't break from one big issue, but from unaddressed patterns over time. Healing begins when curiosity replaces accusation. Take Time to Talk About It: What narcissistic or self-protective patterns do you notice repeating in your marriage? How does defensiveness show up for you — and what is it usually trying to protect? What would it look like to take responsibility for your part without minimizing the pain you've experienced? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue growing in love and intimacy, don't stop Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Are you caught in a maze and don't even know it? Today, Dr. Kim is joined by Ryan Wekenman to talk about the maze of self-centeredness we all have to navigate. When we begin living for applause, appreciation, or validation, we can easily drift out of sync with the Lord and into a life focused on serving ourselves—the exact opposite of what God calls us to. In this powerful conversation, Ryan and Dr. Kim challenge us to recognize the pull toward self-focus and invite us to shift our attention back where it belongs: fully on Jesus. We pray this episode encourages you to take the focus off yourself and go all in on Him. Episode Takeaways: Self-centeredness is a spiritual issue that affects everyone. Control is often at the root of self-centeredness. We need to be intentional about serving others. Self-improvement should not come at the expense of God-centered living. The Lord is our shepherd; we lack nothing when we trust Him. Finding freedom comes from letting go of the need for validation. Quotes from this Episode: If Satan can't get you to not worship, he'll try to get you to make worship about you. You don't need self-help. First and foremost, you need God's help. The problem isn't self-help. The problem is thinking that self-help will save. The way towards abundant life is serving and it's humbling yourself. There's so much freedom on the other side of letting that performer in you die. I think we have to be intentional about that because it's easy to absorb the culture and let that just become part of, well, everybody's doing it.- Dr. Kim I think one thing that God has taught me and I still struggle with at times is learning to celebrate others. - Dr. Kim I think what God is teaching me now, as old as I am, is that just do what I want you to do. - Dr. Kim Time to Reflect: Where in my life am I most tempted to seek applause, appreciation, or validation instead of simply seeking the Lord? How might my focus on myself be affecting the way I love and serve my spouse and the people around me? What is one practical way I can shift my focus from myself to Jesus in my daily decisions and interactions this week? Connect with Ryan: Website: ryanwekenman.com; redrocksaustin.com Podcast: Afterthoughts Podcast; Stories in Scripture Instagram: instagram.com/ryanwekenman YouTube: YouTube.com/@ryanwekenman