Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Not getting into desired colleges can be devastating for teens and their parents. How can you help your child move past what feels like a major life setback? Dr. Lisa provides language that might be helpful in navigating this delicate moment. What do you say to friends and neighbors who put teens or their parents in an uncomfortable spot? Reena asks how you can help teens deal with feeling disappointed - and perhaps bitter about where other classmates got in - especially when they’ve put in a lot of hard work. Dr. Lisa also reminds parents that, regardless of where teens are going to college, there may still be work to do to get them ready for freshman year. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can learn from their mistakes if they are being canceled? How can kids move down the road to repair? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A parent discovers an alarming text about a classmate on her kid's phone and wonders if she should confront her child. How do you address text messages that you were not meant to see? Dr. Lisa walks us though how to weigh your child's safety with the need to build trust. When should you tell a fellow parent if you have intel on their child? Reena wonders why you shouldn’t just pick up the phone and call the other parent. Lisa explains how and when to pass along information about another child without damaging your relationship with your own. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do you teach kids about justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his new children's book, Justice Is...A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. The conversation addresses the many ways adults can inspire young people to fight injustice and defend the truth. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask Preet, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, about his experiences raising his own children, bouncing back from hard times, and the key lessons we should teach our children. Purchase a signed copy of Preet’s new children’s book: https://booksofwonder.com/products/9780593176627 Checkout live events with Preet & Cafe: http://cafe.com/events Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why do kids suddenly turn on their friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often. Kids need shared interests to hold their groups together and that "social glue" has been depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how negative behavior can emerge among friends and become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean girl behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids should do when classmates are nice to them one-on-one but won't include them in groups at school. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A dad writes in asking if it's okay to celebrate his daughter’s appearance and how this might help, or hurt, her self-confidence. How do we help kids feel good about themselves and their bodies, especially when they are bombarded by images on social media that have them worried about their looks? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about when it's okay to talk about appearance, when it's best to say nothing, and how to handle it when teens present themselves in ways that are not appropriate. Reena asks for tips on how to talk to our kids about physical appearance in a world that is already so focused on good looks. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nobody likes being lied to, especially by our own children. Why do kids lie? Dr. Lisa looks at lying from a developmental standpoint and points out that when a child asks for more privacy, it doesn't necessarily mean they’re doing something sneaky. But when a child does lie, how should a parent respond? Dr. Lisa explains the difference between a child feeling appropriately guilty, and a child being made to feel shame. The bottom line? How you respond to dishonesty can make an important difference in how kids behave. Dr. Lisa’s Resources: Lisa’s NYT’s column: How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A step-parent asks for Dr. Lisa’s help as she finds herself parenting three kids under eight, two of them step-children. Should step-parents discipline differently? Dr. Lisa talks about what parents can do to keep kids from feeling stuck in a loyalty conflict between their parent and step-parent. Reena asks about common mistakes step-parents make when forming a relationship with step-kids. Dr. Lisa also explains how weekday parenting can be different from weekend parenting. She maps out how you can create a framework to make multiple households run smoothly. What do you do if one home feels like Disney World and another is more strict? The co-hosts discuss how playing the long-game can make all the difference. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A parent from Connecticut wants to know if it’s acceptable for her teen to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. How should parents approach a conversation like this one? What do you do if your values are not the same as other parents'? The Dutch approach teen romance very differently than Americans do. Dr. Lisa explains the cross-cultural research on teens and sex. Reena asks how to move beyond an impasse with your kid and Dr. Lisa explains why there is value in having some tension with teens. Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation Brugman, M., Caron, S. L., and Rademakers, J. (2010). Emerging adolescent sexuality: A comparison of American and Dutch college women’s experiences. International Journal of Sexual Health 22 (1), 32–46, p. 39. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

No one wants to be that nagging parent. Dr. Lisa explains how the trickiest transition in parenting might be when nagging no longer works with your teen. At these times, is bribing a good strategy? Dr. Lisa walks us through different approaches to motivating kids and how to respond when they reflexively say "no." Reena and Lisa discuss when it might make sense to bribe a teen to get better grades. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What are the signs a teen is suffering from depression and needs help? Dr. Lisa explains what you need to watch for. Reena asks what parents should do if their teen refuses help, and how parents can bring up therapy without making a teen feel worse. Lisa explains that teens often worry that they are broken - a narrative that needs to be considered when offering help. Dr. Lisa explains how she found inspiration from an unexpected reality star, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and also mentions a major change for licensed clinicians that might make it easier to find the right therapist. Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendation PSYPACT is an interstate compact that allows registered psychologists to practice across state boundaries: https://psypact.site-ym.com/page/About Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do you build confidence in kids? How do you lay the groundwork for better self-esteem? What age does confidence start to plummet in girls? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions, explain where self-esteem comes from, and cover how parents can help children feel good about themselves in this encore episode. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Three-time Olympian and mom of three, Lauren Regula joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to talk about what kids should really be getting out of athletics. How do you help kids make the most of their sports? Lauren explains why she doesn't put her kids in the most competitive sports leagues. She also shares the one question she asks her kids every night to help them grow in sports and life. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What’s the best way to help boost mental health in 2022? Dr. Lisa walks us through her five mental health resolutions for the new year. Reena asks how we can rethink mental wellness for ourselves and our families while continuing to navigate the pandemic. Some unexpected parenting inspiration comes from the words of Winston Churchill. Dr. Lisa’s Resource Recommendations The Power of a Positive No, by William Ury The 5-Minute Gratitude Journal: Give Thanks, Practice Positivity, Find Joy, by Sophia Godkin, PhD Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude: Gratitude Journal, by Pretty Simple Press Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan https://www.drlisadamour.com/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week we present an encore episode of one of our top performing shows. American singer Billi Eilish recently spoke about the devastating effects porn had on her when she was exposed at eleven. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can start a conversation about porn and why it’s so important to talk to your kids about it. Reena asks what’s the right age to have that talk. Articles: Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As divorce numbers rise in the pandemic, we take a closer look at how divorce affects children. Dr. Lisa walks us through how children at different ages process their parents' separation. How can parents make the transition easier? Reena asks how do you make it work when you can’t stand your ex? Lisa details how couples who no longer want to be married can still work together as effective co-parents. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What if your child is the one who is hurting other kids feelings at school? A concerned mom discovers that her daughter, who has been struggling socially, is pushing peers away by being too critical. She turns to Dr. Lisa for advice on how to get her middle school daughter to become more self-aware and tolerant. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do you know if your child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? A parent writes in worried about her daughter’s compulsive behavior and anxiety around germs. Dr. Lisa describes OCD, how it takes hold, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do if they are concerned that their child might suffer from it. Reena asks about the power of rituals and what parents can do to help their kids manage anxiety effectively. Dr. Lisa’s OCD Resource Recommendations: If Your Adolescent Has an Anxiety Disorder: An Essential Resource for Parents by Edna Foa The OCD Workbook for Kids: Skills to Help Children Manage Obsessive Thoughts and Compulsive Behaviors by Pulifico and Robin Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As we reconnect with family over the holidays how do we deal with difficult relatives? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of crafting a plan that can help navigate what should be a happy time of year. What about relatives who might say offensive or insensitive things? Dr. Lisa describes how helping kids learn how to deal with them can turn awkward interactions into valuable teachable moments. Lisa and Reena draw from life on the high seas as they explain how establishing “submarine rules” might be an effective strategy in some homes this season. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Managing the teenage years can be overwhelming. Dr. Lisa explains what the toughest year is for teens and why. When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa discusses the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks. Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen. More resources: BOOK 14 Talks by Age 14: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School By Michelle Icard Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What should parents do when their kids want to own the same luxury goods that belong to some of their friends and classmates? Dr. Lisa explains how we can respond to requests for expensive gifts, and how that conversation will change depending on a kid's age. Reena asks what parents can do at home to get their kids to see past wealth and craving costly things. Dr. Lisa details how conversations about materialism can open the door to talking about service, savings, and family values. Book: The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What’s the right age to get your kid a cell phone? Dr. Lisa and Reena look at the research on both sides of the debate. When a parent writes in asking if thirteen might be the right age, Lisa shares what parents should consider before handing their kid a first phone. She also explains how you can hit the reset button with kids who may already have a phone and Reena asks what parents can say to their kids when they want to hold off. Lisa also talks about the one reason when you absolutely should get your kid a phone and how modeling good digital habits can make a difference. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do we teach kids healthy eating habits without focusing on calories or portion size? A parent writes in asking for advice about whether she should say something about her daughter's increasing weight. Dr. Lisa explains how to approach the delicate topics of food and weight and what should be discussed. Reena asks what it means to be of a “healthy weight.” Lisa also names the four power struggles that parents will want to avoid - because the kid has all the power. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dr. Lisa offers a deep-dive into the world of edible marijuana and how to talk with your child about the dangers of trying edibles. Reena asks what’s the difference between CBD and THC? How does marijuana affect the brain? What age should parents talk to their kids about edibles and should they say? In Parenting to Go, Lisa also explains that while parents may understandably want to avoid difficult conversations, if our kids are dealing with a tricky topic, we need to be ready to deal with it too. Lisa’s NYT Column https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/19/well/family/weed-edibles-teens.html?searchResultPosition=1 Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Raising kids can be a bumpy, stressful, and uncertain process – which is why Lisa’s podcast brings her sane, informed, and practical perspective to your timely and timeless parenting questions. Cohost Reena Ninan, a world-class journalist who has covered the White House while packing a breast pump, makes sure to get you the answers you need. GOT A PARENTING QUESTION YOU’D LIKE US TO TACKLE? Send it to me at [email protected] – I’d love to hear from you. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home. Lisa introduces us to psychologist Haim Ginott who offers the perfect phrasing for motivating kids. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn: @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Where do confidence and self-esteem come from? What contributes to kids' highs and lows and how can parents help kids build a sturdy sense of self-esteem? Dr. Lisa describes the age at which self-esteem tends to drop off and the impact of gender. Reena asks how culture and race can affect self-esteem and confidence. Dr. Lisa explains what psychologists mean when they talk about "unconditional positive regard." Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A Mom writes in from the deep South with concerns about whether to allow her daughter to socialize with a good friend who is unvaccinated. Dr. Lisa discusses the importance of framing the issue around the child’s safety while allowing the kid to guide the conversation. Reena asks how parents can weigh the mental health risks of not being socially active against the possibility of catching Covid. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help their children assess these risks. Should the Mom reach out to the other family? Dr. Lisa talks about when a parent should make that call. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Getting into college is hard work. So how do you raise kids who will thrive once they get there? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can prepare their kids to succeed when they become independent (hint: it's not about academics). When should a parent be concerned about a child who does not communicate with them? Is there such a thing as providing too much long-distance emotional support? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dr. Lisa and Reena get a letter from parents who are torn about allowing their underaged child to drink in their home. Dad wants the child to feel comfortable around alcohol, but Mom is not comfortable serving their teenager at home and wonders whether it's even legal to do so. Lisa explains what really matters in preparing your child for encounters with alcohol when parents are not around. She explains the concepts of hot and cold cognition and how they shape teen's choices. Reena asks, "What really works in making teens understand the consequences of drinking?" Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You’ve heard people say, “I want to get this off my chest,” but what if your kid doesn’t know how to express emotion? How do you get children and teenagers to talk? Dr. Lisa explains the term "emotional regulation," and how parents can help kids manage their feelings effectively. Reena asks, "What if you’re a parent who struggles with managing your own emotions?" Lisa explains how both parents and children can benefit from thinking in terms of learning how to express, and contain, emotions. Events: Join Lisa, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Times journalists (who are parents themselves) Apoorva Mandavilli, a science reporter, and moderator Andrew Ross Sorkin, Times columnist as they take your questions about kids and Covid on Sept 9th 1pm est. RSVP below. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/12/science/fauci-kids-and-covid-event.html Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column: How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School Listen to Reena's new daily news podcast "The Recount Daily Pod." Dr. Lisa joined Reena on her new morning news podcast.... The Recount Daily Pod... to talk about stress and trauma. You can listen & subscribe to "The Recount Daily Pod": https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-recount-daily-pod/id1574219377?i=1000533968493 Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is it ever too late to help your child rethink a friendship? How do you lay the groundwork to help children choose the right people to be in their lives? Dr. Lisa explains how the friends our kids chose can also give us a window into the people they may date. Even during the teenage years Lisa says there are ways to help foster new friendships. Reena asks when should a parent intervene. Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column: How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan kick off Season Two of Ask Lisa by talking about how to cope with another school year under Covid-19. They tackle a letter from a parent seeking advice on how to deal with her own anxiety about kids going back to school as the Delta variant rages. She is exhausted and does not see relief coming any time soon. How do we help our kids feel school-ready when we are running on empty? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Should we be pushing children and teens to make up for lost learning this summer? Or should we let them call the shots on how they spend their time? What really matters most? Dr. Lisa has advice that might seem counterintuitive for parents who feel ready to charge ahead. A mom writes in asking for advice on how to think about summer schedules for her three kids. Reena seeks guidance on managing social media and video games once school lets out. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about what families should focus on when making summer plans. In this final episode of the season, Lisa and Reena also explain how to stay connected with the podcast this summer. Season Two starts August 24th. Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium. Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com Enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off. Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resource List 100 Summer Fun Ideas for Kids and Parents 100+ Things for Teens to Do This Summer Lisa Damour's 6.1.21 New York Times column Why Teens Need a Break This Summer Email us your questions or topics you would like us to cover to [email protected]. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Lisa and Reena are joined by guest Emmanuel Acho, former NFL linebacker, current FoxSports analyst, host of the YouTube hit "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man," and author of a book by the same name. Most recently, Emmanuel wrote the instant #1 New York Times Bestseller "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Boy." In a discussion both wide-ranging and deep, Emmanuel tackles how to talk with our kids about the n-word, what we can do to address systemic racism and prejudice, and what it really means for parents and their children to act as allies. BOOK GIVEAWAY: Enter to win one of two copies of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Boy By Emmanuel Acho from the @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 6/7/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.) Parent Promotion Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium. Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com and enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off. Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The pandemic has disrupted our kids' social lives. What can parents do to help a child make new friends if they've withdrawn from their peers? How do we help kids who are reluctant to reach out, or who rub their classmates the wrong way? A mom emails about her twelve and a half-year-old daughter who was once an extrovert and now is not. Dr. Lisa explains the five categories that have been identified by research to describe kids' social profiles, and how knowing these categories helps us give children the right kind of support. Should parents try to engineer friendships? Lisa has a strong opinion on this topic while Reena asks how we can help kids find secure friendships as we emerge from Covid-19. BOOKGIVEAWAY: The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults; By Elizabeth A. Laugeson, Psy.D. Enter to win a copy from the @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/31/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners. Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Should you be concerned if your child has a messy, disorganized room? A mom emails asking for advice on how to handle a kid's room that feels out of control. Dr. Lisa introduces us to the term executive functioning, the mental processes that help with managing oneself and one's possessions. Reena asks if being disorganized as a child can lead to problems down the line. Lisa offers guidance on when it's time to step in and how to help your children organize themselves and their things. BOOK GIVEAWAY Enter to win a copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠ 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠ 3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠ 4. For U.S. residents only⁠ ⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EDT on 5/24/21. Winner will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

After more than a year of being stuck at home in a pandemic, it’s no surprise siblings are getting on each other's nerves. Should parents step in - or step back - when kids start fighting? Dr. Lisa tackles this question and also explains how parents' approach to conflict can influence how kids fight with their siblings. Reena asks how parents can keep their cool when heads are getting hot, and whether kids can really learn to manage their own conflicts. Dr. Lisa describes strategies that work having seen them in action during a unique summer job. For Children Everywhere www.giveindia.org Give India helps individuals donate to NGO’s in India helping to fight the Covid-19 outbreak. Send us your questions for our upcoming podcast on talking to kids about race with author Emmanuel Acho. Send questions to [email protected]. Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Talking to kids about their love lives can be uncomfortable, but discussing consent is one of the most important conversations to have with our children. Dr. Lisa explains why she feels that when we focus on consent, we are articulating the lowest possible bar for acceptable physical intimacy. She offers thoughts on how we might rethink and reframe the entire topic in order to be most helpful to our children. Reena asks: Can we change our collective mindset on consent? And how do you explain coercion and consent to children? The conversation includes a look at how pornography factors into teenagers' understanding of consensual relationships. BOOK GIVEAWAY: One copy each of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein Enter to win one of 2 books being given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/10/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) OTHER RESOURCES: Lisa's articles from the NYT: Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex (1/11/17) Getting ‘Consent’ for Sex Is Too Low a Bar (7/18/18) Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex (11/14/18) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Experts are finding that the pandemic has led to an alarming rise in eating disorders. Dr. Lisa explains how eating disorders can sneak up on families and why they can be incredibly harmful. Lisa and Reena discuss how social media can contribute to eating disorders and the fact that these illnesses affects people from all genders, economic backgrounds, and races. Early intervention matters, so what are the signs of an eating disorder? How do you talk to kids about eating disorders? And when should you seek help? FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE: Eating disorders can be linked to food insecurity. Feeding America can help you find your local food bank to make a donation. https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Lisa’s NYT column: Eating Disorders in Teens Have 'Exploded' in the Pandemic anorexiafamily.com Help for parents of children and teens suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders. feast-ed.org F.E.A.S.T. is an international non-profit organization of and for caregivers of loved ones suffering from eating disorders. nationaleatingdisorders.org NEDA supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care. maudsleyparents.org Maudsley Parents was created in 2006 by parents who helped their children recover with family-based treatment, to offer hope and help to other families confronting eating disorders. eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/resources/ Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Center for Treatment and Research at University of California, San Diego www.childrenshospital.org/centers-and-services/programs/a-_-e/eating-disorders-program/helpful-links Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Program at Boston Children’s Hospital https://www.aedweb.org/resources/about-eating-disorders Informational resources developed by the Academy for Eating Disorders https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"If the pandemic is about anything, it's about loss,” says Dr. Lisa Damour. Grief can come in different forms - from losing a loved one, to mourning the loss of senior year in high school, to not getting into your favorite college. How can you tell if your child is grieving and what can you do to help? Lisa and Reena examine how to support our kids as they cope with loss. Reena shares how a bouncy castle rented on the morning of her grandfather’s funeral helped her family deal with loss. Lisa discusses insights from Sigmund Freud - written over one hundred years ago - that can be helpful as we find our way through the pandemic. Enter to win one of two copies of "Fall of Freddie the Leaf" being given away by the @asklisapodcast. The book has helped children and adults deal with the mourning process. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠ 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠ 3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠ 4. For U.S. residents only⁠ ⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/26/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do you talk to kids about social media postings that might cross a line? What's the best way to start a conversation with your sons and daughters about what's too sexy for public consumption? A parent writes to Lisa and Reena about the suggestive TikTok postings her daughter puts up. Lisa explains how to open up lines of communication and the guidance parents might give about posts that could be seen as provocative. Lisa also shares what she is seeing during the pandemic and details why kids post suggestive content at this age. Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Lisa's fabulous New York Times best-selling book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠ 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠ 3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠ 4. For U.S. residents only⁠ ⁠ (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/19/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do you prepare kids for life in the real world? Author Julie Lythcott-Haims joins Lisa and Reena for a conversation on the non-academic skills your children need to succeed as they move into young adulthood. Julie spent more than a decade at Stanford University, some of that time as the dean of first-year students. The women talk about how to discuss race with our children, the different chores kids should take on as they age, and the critical importance of having real responsibilities at home. Julie describes the power of positive parenting and talks about her brand-new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Julie’s new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast ⁠ 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)⁠ 3. Enter as many times as you'd like⁠ 4. For U.S. residents only⁠ ⁠(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/12/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As we move into the next phase of this pandemic we take listeners back to an encore presentation of "Toolbox for Terrible Times: How to Manage Hopelessness and Helplessness." Lisa offers specific tools to help children with their feelings and describes the key role played by healthy psychological defenses. Reena gets emotional talking about what her son's Connecticut teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back at school. The conversation also covers psychological research on how both children and adults can significantly increase their well-being. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast @LDamour @ReenaNinan See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There are many reasons why kids lie to parents. Dr. Lisa gives several explanations for why kids sometimes don’t tell the truth and shares stories from her practice of the difficult scenarios she's helped families navigate, including an example of when parents assume the worst about their teen's behavior and get kids to live down to their expectations. Dr. Lisa and Reena also discuss cheating and how what happens in the mind of a six-year-old cheater differs from cheating among high school students. Ultimately, helping kids develop a fine-tuned conscience can make all the difference when it comes to being honest. FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE: First Book works with half a million teachers in underserved communities to get them books and much needed resources. The organization believes the best way out of poverty is education: www.firstbook.org ARTICLE: Lisa's NYT article How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Talking to a child about pornography might not be a conversation most parents think of having. However, by the age of sixteen, 90% of kids have looked at porn. Dr. Lisa Damour explains that kids' interest in sex is normal and part of healthy development. But she also explains how porn can be traumatic and confusing to kids and teens who encounter it. How do you approach the conversation and at what age should you start discussing it? Reena asks for tips on how to make these talks less uncomfortable. BOOK GIVEAWAY Enter to win a copy of Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between by Shafia Zaloom or a copy of It's Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris and Michelle Emberley, given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/22/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) ARTICLES Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

With the one year anniversary of the pandemic approaching there are reasons to be hopeful. The infection rates are dropping and more vaccines are being distributed. So why do so many people still feel down? Reena asks about what parents can do when they feel the ground is shifting and things are out of their control. How do we help kids manage the anxiety of starting in-person school and the persistent stress of this pandemic? Lisa talks through strategies for finding a way out of feeling anxious and depressed. Book Giveaway!! Enter to win one of 3 copies of A Place to Hang the Moon by Kate Albus being given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/15/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Finding time to quiet your mind can have real benefits for you and your child. Author, instructor, mom, and entrepreneur Mallika Chopra is our special guest. She says that meditation isn’t just repeating mantras - there are many other ways your kids can be mindful. Mallika also talks about her father Deepak Chopra and how he found meditation after going through his own personal struggles. Mindful eating is also discussed. Book Giveaway!! Enter to win one of 3 copies of Mallika Chopra's new book Just Be You being given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/8/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A parent writes in asking for help to address a teenager's marijuana use. Some teens are turning to drugs in this pandemic as they are looking for ways to cope with the sadness and boredom. Dr. Lisa explains what actually works in getting kids to stop using drugs and how to talk with kids in a way that's likely to keep them from becoming involved with drugs in the first place. Dr. Lisa talks about choices kids might make in the pandemic that could have irreversible consequences, while also offering tips on positive coping. Reena asks when adults should be concerned about their own behavior with regard to alcohol or marijuana use. BOOK GIVEAWAY: Thrivers: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, by Dr. Michele Borba Enter to win one of 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/1/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Should you speak up when you disagree with the approach other families are taking with their Covid rules? Reena discusses the latest news on the spread of the British mutation and Dr. Lisa describes the mental maneuvers we make when trying to rationalize behavior. How do we find peace when we feel uneasy with what other families are doing? And how do you talk with children about the fact that different families follow different rules? For Children Everywhere - “A Million Thanks” collects and sends millions of letters thanking and supporting our active, reserve, and veteran military. Generosity can come in the form of writing letters or sending art work - all your child needs to send is a picture or note. The organization does request a $1 donation for postage as they sort letters to get into the hands of those who need the mail the most: https://amillionthanks.org/ Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: [email protected] Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.