Beginner’s Guide To Overcoming The Ugly Sister Effect
Anthony Metivier's Magnetic Memory Method Podcast
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Show Notes
The ugly sister effect explains so many things when it comes to the memory blocks we all face.
True, the scientists who came up with the term probably regret it now.
After all, it can sound a bit insensitive if you don’t know why they chose the term or what memory problem goes with it.
Unfortunately, there’s no brief and direct way to describe this effect, which is why I’ve written up a complete explanation on this page.
I believe it’s worth a read, especially if you want to either speak more fluidly or become a memory athlete. I’m sure glad I knew about this problem and had handled it when lecturing at university and giving my TEDx Talk.
So, are you ready for a deep dive into how to remove memory blocks and stop competing thoughts from messing you up while speaking?
Let’s dive in!
What Is The Ugly Sister Effect?
The Ugly Sister Effect gets its name from the Cinderella fairy tale. In many versions of the story, every time Prince Charming tries to get hold of Cinderella for a smooching session (and perhaps a little more), her ugly sisters crowd in front of her.
Not very cool of those ugly sisters, is it?
Well, when you’re trying to remember something, competing thoughts sometimes crowd into your mind. It’s like many other memories are competing for attention – like the ugly sisters in Cindarella.
Some people use a different name for this effect: tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. However, I don’t believe that’s quite correct.
Here’s how the authors of Mnemonology: Mnemonics for the 21st Century put it:
The retrieval of target information can be blocked by the related information—a situation referred to as an “ugly sister effect.”
This definition is the key: the memory blocks occur due to the relatedness of the information.
In other words, ugly sisters or unwanted information come to mind when you’re trying to remember a specific piece of information.
It’s not at all the case that the right answer is really on the tip of your tongue (unless you’re experiencing what scientists call a “mind pop“). It’s that many other answers are competing for your attention.
I experience this sometimes when searching for the name of an actor or musician. All kinds of people come to mind, just not the one I want.
How To Handle The Ugly Sister Effect
The first thing is to realize that experiencing this effect is perfectly normal. You could certainly get checked out by a doctor to rule out any issues, but chances are you’ll experience it many times in your life.
To the best of my knowledge, the effect was named by Reason and Lucas in a 1984 contribution related to journaling. The named it in an essay called “Using cognitive diaries to investigate naturally occurring memory blocks.” You can find it in a book called Everyday memory errors, actions, and absentmindedness.
When it comes to a method for dealing with it, here are some steps I recommend that you follow.
One: Don’t Make A Big Deal Out Of It
When I get blocked, I immediately relax.
I’ve found that by turning my attention to my breath and physical state, it helps the memory I’m searching for arise on its own.
A simple technique you can try comes from the world of concentration meditation. Put your thumb and forefinger together as you breath and bring your awareness to your entire body from your head to toes.
Two: Run The Alphabet
More often than not, changing the focus to your body for a few seconds, will pop the information into your mind.
When that doesn’t work, I start by reciting the alphabet from A-Z.
Although this technique is not bullet-proof, I’d say it works about 50% of the time.
The problem is that, unlike turning your attention away from seeking the target information, in this case, you’re chasing after it.
But if you’ve relaxed yourself first and aren’t needy, you’ll probably be okay.
In case you’re wondering why running through the alphabet makes sense scientifically, it’s because you’re trying to find and trigger context-dependent cues. If the word or name you’re looking for starts with C, there’s a good chance that thinking of this letter will help you remember the information.
Three: Avoid Re-Using Memory Palaces
Sometimes mnemonists bring problems like the Ugly Sister Effect onto themselves.
For example, they don’t know about my detailed training on How to Find Memory Palaces.
The problem is that reusing Memory Palaces creates what some memory champions call “ghosting.” I prefer to call it “Magnetic fossilization,” but the point remains the same. You run into Ugly Sisters that compete with the information you’re trying to recall because the ground has been laid for them to do so.
Don’t get me wrong. It is possible to re-use any Memory Palace. Especially when you use the tips covered in this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umt-innA-u8
My point is simply that you can eliminate the issue altogether by simply not reusing Memory Palaces.
Four: Use Memory Strategies From Day One
Although nothing is perfect, you can recall information much more fluidly if you memorize it optimally in the first place.
Take my TEDx Talk, for example. Sure, I made a few errors, but the way I memorized the speech was solid from the get-go.
I also use a lot of:
And many other strategies to keep my memory well-exercised. The important point here is to use not only a variety of techniques. But to use them consistently.
Five: Clean Up Your Memories
In some versions of the Cinderella story, the heroine gets down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor.
We can take a cue from that image to help keep our memories straight.
The same way you can use your imagination to create Memory Palaces based on real or imagined locations, you can imagine yourself with Pine-Sol or Mr. Clean and a mop. See yourself doing the work of getting your Memory Palaces fresh and clean for new uses.
Likewise, you can figuratively clean old memories by engaging in childhood memory exercises and all kinds of other brain games.
Six: Practice Your Memory Seriously
My colleague in memory, Scott Young, says that your mind is not like a muscle.
But as a student of deliberate practice, I disagree on that point.
Even the best memory athlete in the world still needs to practice. Even Harry Kahne, the multiple mentalist practiced frequently.
There’s no turnkey, set-and-forget engine that keeps running once you learn and use memory techniques as part of your daily life.
No. What you’re doing is learning to play your memory like a musical instrument.
If you’d like help practicing your memory in the best possible way, get my free course:
It gives you four video tutorials and three PDF worksheets.
The more you work with the techniques, the better you’ll be at avoiding memory blocks.
Rest assured, everything I teach has been validated in the memory science.
And now that you know what the Ugly Sister Effect is, you’re in a position to avoid it.
As a result, you’ll remember many more things correctly and enjoy greater professionalism and confidence as a result.
Now that’s what I call a win-win!