Allyship is a Verb

This episode is sponsored by Rebecca Minor, LICSW. For more information about her course, How To Talk To Kids About Gender, please visit: https://www.genderspecialist.com/learn Listeners of this podcast get 10% off with code ALLYSHIP The Trans Day of Visibility: Nonbinary Visibility panel is now available to watch here: https://youtu.be/mYPQBrBvwrcIn this week’s episode, K Strohl (K's pronouns present day are now they/them) talks about why they freely share their identities and how they want to be centered as a person versus their identities when brought up in conversations. Learn about what a "safety pause" is and some tips on how you may be able to support someone if it comes up in any of your conversations. We also discuss how she has a great practice of sending follow-up emails after networking calls by recalling what was discussed and any next steps. Furthermore, he's amassed a huge list of resources across various topics if folks need more support than he's able to provide related to what came up in the call. Katrina talks about how it feels when people mistake them for an ally of groups they belong to and how they came across the word bisexual thanks to the show A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, although they're now using queer.🎙️ Connect with K to learn more about + support their work:K’s websiteAbsolutely Not! - K’s podcast💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Blair Imani’s InstagramA Shot at Love With Tila Tequila | One of Charlie’s favorite contestants on the show was the person in the softball tee in this brief clipThe National Black Justice Coalition (NBJC) talks about Inviting InHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

This episode is sponsored by Rebecca Minor, LICSW (she/her). For more information about her resource, My Kid Just Came Out: Free Guide for Parents, please visit: https://www.genderspecialist.com/nowwhat/In this week’s episode, Nick Daily (he/they) shares about what sparked the daily reminders he posts to Instagram to inspire others. Learn about why they’re learning to say “no” and what it means with the nuance of being Black, among their other identities, and practices like not working on their birthday. We also discuss the silliness of people and companies requesting Black History Month and Pride Month events not soon enough. Please request them much, much sooner and not during the actual month! Nick talks about what queer leadership means to him and how he doesn’t believe that our way to freedom and liberation is through the disposability of people.🎙️ Connect with Nick to learn more about + support their work:InstagramLinkedInLuvServedDaily Consulting💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Camp Pride | Check out this resource I created for more youth, family, and adult LGBTQ+ camps across the USD'Loco KidCreating The Black Queer Tarot blog post & @BLKQUEERTAROT + @kendrickdaye on InstagramSonya Renee TaylorMia MingusIntersex Justice ProjectFacts about intersex folks | @pinkmantaray’s Instagram postEnd intersex surgery | @briannavieira’s Instagram postWe Will Not Cancel Us: And Other Dreams of Transformative Justice | Adrienne Maree BrownYou Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience | Book edited by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from these two book links, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Trystan Reese (he/him) shares about his days of being a drag king and how he's been performing as a man since he was a kid. Learn about some of the practices he's adopted to check in with his colleagues so that they're in a continuous feedback loop, including addressing power dynamics and microaggressions. We also discuss a bit of what it's like to be trainers and consultants and the work that goes into it, including figuring out our boundaries and doing the work to know how to facilitate conversations. Trystan talks about how moved he was by Alok's talk on the podcast Man Enough and how well they were able to articulate thoughts that have been circling in his own mind.🎙️ Connect with Trystan to learn more about + support their work:WebsiteLinkedInCollaborate Consulting, LLCHow We Do Family: From Adoption to Trans Pregnancy, What We Learned about Love and LGBTQ Parenthood - Trystan’s book!(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Alok: The Urgent Need for Compassion | The Man Enough PodcastDare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. - one of Brené Brown’s books(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)ACT UPActivism After Stonewall - learn more about the Gay Liberation FrontHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Mon Malanovich-Gallagher (they/them) shares about being an LGBTQI+ speaker and facilitator and what some of their experience as an introvert can look like, including introducing the term “anchor.” Learn why they left Poland and the importance of language including identities that reflect our experience. We also discuss employment diversity questions and how data matters while recognizing the privilege of being able to answer as honestly as possible. Have you ever wondered why there’s gatekeeping within the broader LGBTQ+ community and subgroups? Mon talks about how we should be able to claim our own identities and that what we land on feels right to us as individuals without trying to fit any “standards.” We also discuss what it might look like to queer-ify relationships, an example of a supportive pronoun question, and being aware of our impact on and how we show up for marginalized communities. 💻 Sources and resources from this episode:MindOut UKHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Chris Tompkins (he/him) shares about being an LGBTQ inner advocate and practicing allyship toward himself. Learn how he found his way to sobriety while acknowledging that AA isn't for everyone. We also discuss the term "Guncle" and how being one was part of the inspiration for his book, Raising LGBTQ Allies. Have you ever heard of "machismo?" Chris talks about how it influences Latin American culture and what it meant for the messages he received as a young gay child. We also discuss what it's like sharing our stories on PFLAG panels, spirituality, and how heteronormativity is a lot like humidity...!🎙️ Connect with Chris to learn more about + support his work:WebsiteLinkedInInstagram💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Code-switching: How BAME and LGBT people 'blend in'PFLAG NationalMake Sure Your Child’s School Is Safe For LGBTQ+ Students & Families––Here’s How written by Chris TompkinsChris’ interview with Melinda Wenner Moyer - How to be an LGBTQ-affirming parentWhat children learn from the things they aren't told | Chris Tompkins | TEDxCSULBRaising LGBTQ Allies - book(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Jaffe (she/her) shares the origins of her drag show, Them Fatale Drag Kings. Learn how she claims the terms "lesbian" and "queer." We also discuss the Los Angeles queer bar scene when we were in our early 20s and how it is present day. Have you ever wondered if you’re welcome to an LGBTQ+ space as someone not from the community? Jaffe talks about how it’s important to have a sense of humor when entering such spaces. We also get vulnerable about how when I was first coming out under the transgender umbrella, our friendship was put to the test and that she would do things much differently today.🎙️ Connect with Jaffe to learn more about + support her work:Jaffe's InstagramThem Fatale Drag Kings Instagram💻 Sources and resources from this episode:The history of the lesbian toaster joke - LezWatch.TVTeen Vogue’s 10 Myths About Lesbians You Need to Stop Believing NowHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Dr. Leah Tidey (she/her) shares about how her definition of bisexuality has evolved since she first claimed it at the age of 12. Learn how intersections of bisexuality and consensual non-monogamy have created stigma she’s been pushing against. We also discuss Robyn Och’s definition of bisexuality and how Leah’s work as a sexual health educator can be tricky in terms of how much of herself she feel comfortable sharing with her students or overall in certain spaces due to bisexual erasure and biphobia. Have you ever wondered why people may use the term “partner”? Leah talks about how she doesn’t want to deceive people and doesn’t feel she is; she’s intentional about how it’s encompassing as a term and moves way from traditions we may have been taught, while recognizing the privilege in feeling comfortable enough to use it. We also talk about how COVID-19 and the pandemic overall has brought about lots of conversations that the polyamorous community has already been having for a long time related to bubbles and who we are seeing and when.🎙️ Connect with Leah to learn more about + support her work:Dr. Leah Tidey's websiteLevi & Leah YouTube ChannelThe Love Doctor Podcast - Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and moreInstagramTikTokTwitterCome as You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski - the book she recommends(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Levi’s Future Proof YouTube ChannelOptions for Sexual HealthHere are some related episodes from Leah’s podcast:Consensual Non-Monogamy: Is It Just About Sex? feat. Dr. Amy C. MoorsCan Women and Men Be "Just Friends?" (And What If They're Bi?!) feat. Marcus TerritoryTikTok Beauty Filters & How Your Sexual Orientation Can Change feat. Chris Angel Murphy *This is when I was on as a guest for her podcast :)Do Bi Guys Exist? feat. Joe LeeCan You Trust a Bisexual Partner? (And what is bi wife energy?) feat. Levi HildebrandTwo awesome polyam accounts to follow on Instagram (according to Charlie):polyamfampolyphiliablogHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Provvidenza Catalano (they/them) shares about how the closer they get to who they are versus how Hollywood typecasts folks, they now get more interest and are called in for different roles. Learn how intersections of fatphobia, transphobia, butchphobia, ableism, and more have shaped their experiences and the work they're doing internally. We also discuss some of what casual representation could look like and how much more authentic and nuanced stories would be for LGBTQ+ characters and beyond if we embraced this kind of storytelling. Have you been disappointed with a marginalized character because they weren't the perfect representation of that demographic? Provvidenza talks about how asking characters to be "the most acceptable version" [...] "is not revolutionary in any stretch of the imagination." We also talk about active allies and how taking the "charge" and "hotness" out of a mistake can be helpful toward knowing what to do next.🎙️ Connect with Provvidenza:Provvidenza's websiteInstagramTikTokFat and Queer: An Anthology of Queer and Trans Bodies and Lives - the book they were published in(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Instagram post on nonbinary castingDating When You're Queer & Fat Is Like Navigating Through a MinefieldThem Fatale the drag king show they host in Los Angeles, CAHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Dr. Kyl Myers (they/them, she/her) shares how their gender creative parenting has evolved over the years and that it can look different for each family. Learn how gender creative parenting gave her an opportunity to check in with herself about her own gender and gender expression. We also discuss some of the questions that you asked on Instagram! Are you trying to support friends in your life who have LGBTQ+ kids? Kyl talks about some of what's helped them, which might sound counterintuitive. We also talk about the emotional labor of internet trolls and some of the pressures of a large following on social media.🎙️ Connect with Kyl:Dr. Myers’s websiteInstagramYouTube ChannelPatreonRaising Them book - support small + local business by purchasing from Bookshop.org(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Dr. Myers’s Essay in TIMETEDx Talk “Want Gender Equality? Let’s Get Creative"Raising Zoomer Blog and the post on Sasha and StormRaising Zoomer Instagram (doesn’t use this account anymore, but lots of great info)Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Leo Yockey (he/him) shares how his first tech job denied him the opportunity to control his narrative. Learn what surprised him about the experience and hear how it shaped the man he is today. We also discuss the "I'm not gay hug." Are you a fan of Tan France from Queer Eye? Leo talks about how reading Tan's memoir was the inverse of his experience, though it helped him find a man to model himself after.🎙️ Connect with Leo:Leo Yockey's websiteThe Leo Yockey Show podcastLinkedInInstagram (now private)X (also now private)💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Leo’s Instagram post on being shirtlessLeo has since taken down his blog post on his tech experienceHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Laura Graving (she/her) shares about how there are tarot decks that are queer and trans-inclusive. Learn what support she offers folks and what values she founded her small business on. We also discuss why LGBTQ+ folks can feel seen and validated by astrology, tarot, and similar practices. Have you ever used white sage to cleanse a space? She talks about how we can ethically source our white sage and what tips can take those practices to the next level.🎙️ Connect with Laura and learn more about + support her work:Eso ClericInstagramFacebookHer free PDF on Foundations of Tarot (and to sign up for her email newsletter)💻 Sources and resources from this episode:The Dark Exact - Coleman Stevenson’s tarot deckMarcella Kroll - Readings and moreCampus PrideHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

Is your therapist the right fit for you? Do you even want or have access to one? In the previous episode, Dr. Rick Grant-Coons (he/him) shared out the allyship tip "Just trust that people know who they are best. They know themselves best and just believe that they can tell you who they are and that is the truth, right? Like, let people tell you who they are. And just believe, accept, celebrate, find out what works for them, and not try to define for them or tell them who they should be, what they are. How they're doing this wrong, you know, just instead just say, "Hey, I'm going to trust in you and I'm going to learn who you are by you telling me and that's how I will support you and figure out how we all can navigate this world a little bit better." In this mini-episode, host Chris Angel (they/them) discusses some of their own experiences with therapy over the years. Self-reflection questions/journaling prompts for people in or seeking therapy: 1. Does the mental health professional honor your identities? Is it important for them to reflect any of your communities? 2. Are they a specialist or have any training in the topics most important for you to work through? 3. Are there any barriers that make it difficult to see them? 4. Do you feel safe with them? 5. Do you have a gut feeling telling you it isn’t a good match? 6. Does the relationship feel healthy? 7. Do you feel you’ve learned all you can from them? And now, for mental health professionals. Before taking on a new client or patient, ask yourself: 1. Is this a community I’ve learned about? 2. Do I feel I can serve this community without inflicting unintentional harm? 3. Do I consider myself LGBTQ+ friendly or am I an affirming provider? 4. Where do I get my information from? Is it people with that lived experience? 5. Do I ask my patients or clients to educate me? 6. Do I ask questions that satisfy my curiosity or are they important for the work we’re doing together? 7. Do I regularly attend educational opportunities for this community? 8. Do I find the balance of leaning on my knowledge of this community, while not trying to put my client into a box? Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Mini-episodes feature any shout-outs, listener-submitted comments and questions, and a dive deeper into the allyship tip the previous guest shared. Please consider following where you listen to podcasts and become a monthly financial supporter! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

In this week’s episode, Dr. Rick Grant-Coons (he/him) shares about moving 13 times every 1-3 years in the south as a young person and how, in some ways, it was easier to come out because of all of the moving. Learn what support he received and which communities he found comfort in over the years. We also discuss some signs to look for in an LGBTQ+ affirmative therapist. Have you ever wondered what even is LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy? He talks about the programs he took and how access to this information is more accessible for mental health providers now. We also discuss how, ideally, professional disclosure of personal identities should be for the greater good of the person you're trying to help.🎙️ Connect with Rick:LinkedIn ProfileEmpowered Living TherapyFacebookYouTube💻 Sources and resources from this episode:LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy Certification - Modern Sex Therapy InstitutesJoy Turek, PhDDouglas Sadownick, PhDAntioch University - MA in Clinical Psychology, LGBT-Affirmative PsychologyThe Real World - Norman KorpiHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

Is your allyship accidentally performative? In the previous episode, Tasha Colin (rolling they/them, she/her) shared out the allyship tip "Honestly, I would love if people wouldn't assume or- I would love for people to ask me what my identities mean for me in order to know how to support me better. Versus maybe hearing how I identify and then assuming certain things. Yet, just asking me how they can support me is supportive." In this mini-episode, host Chris Angel (they/them) introduces ways people and businesses may accidentally be practicing performative allyship. Self-reflection questions/journaling prompts: 1. Have I been told that my allyship is performative? 2. Are my actions and words consistent with how I want to show up as an ally? 3. What am I willing to do for the LGBTQ+ community? 4. What are boundaries I have for myself? 5. How can I push past any discomfort or tension of allyship? 6. Who are some other allies I can engage with and talk to if and when things get hard? 7. Where do I get my allyship ideas and tips from? Are they people with that lived experience? Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Mini-episodes feature any shout-outs, listener-submitted comments and questions, and a dive deeper into the allyship tip the previous guest shared. Please consider following where you listen to podcasts and become a monthly financial supporter! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

In this week’s episode, Tasha Colin (rolling they/she) shares about coming out as a previously held identity and what three magic words of support boosted their spirit. Learn what book helped spark her curiosity and made her feel seen. We also discuss how asking about pronouns is totally okay AND how asking personal questions about sex and how people have it is NOT a good way of showing support. Have you ever heard of the term demisexual and wondered what that was all about or why a term is needed for that experience? They talk about how their claimed identities have evolved over the years and why their identities and terms may continue to change as time goes on. We also wonder if utopia and liberation are possible when folks don't all agree on what that looks like.🎙️ Connect with Tasha:Personal Instagram AccountTraining Instagram AccountTherapy Instagram AccountLinkedIn💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Keeping You a Secret book - support small + local businesses by purchasing from Bookshop.org(Disclaimer: Gender Sexuality Info, LLC may receive a small commission from you purchasing from this link, which helps to provide free educational services like this podcast)What is demisexuality? by Pink News | YouTube4 Demisexual People Explain What "Demisexuality" Means To Them by TinderDemisexuality Resource Center | YouTubeX post explaining ACE Awareness Week and some definitions: https://www.x.com/vbarronart/status/1320856524076494851Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

Can we agree to stop assuming straight is the default? In the previous episode, Josée Sovinsky (she/her) shared out the allyship tip for people to "...actively seek out opportunities to [...] question their assumptions that they make." In this mini-episode, host Chris Angel (they/them) revisits this tip and introduces why coming out is a privilege, complicated, and nuanced. They also talk about how if LGBTQ+ youth are considering coming out, they need a safety plan if they have any reason to believe they might be rejected by their families. In fact, it may be best to wait. Instead of self-reflections this episode, Chris Angel is asking for you to help get the Equality Act passed in the United States Senate or get involved with helping to get LGBTQ+ protections passed where you live. Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Mini-episodes feature any shout-outs, listener-submitted comments and questions, and a dive deeper into the allyship tip the previous guest shared. Please consider following where you listen to podcasts and become a monthly financial supporter! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

In this week’s episode, Josée Sovinsky (now using she/they pronouns) shares about coming out on her professional Instagram page this past pride month and what happened as a result. Learn what messages she was given about bisexuality while questioning her sexual orientation. We also discuss honoring marginalized communities by believing in science AND holding space for people’s own uniquely lived experiences + expertise (and paying them for it!). Have you ever wondered about some of the reasons why people don’t want to come out, especially as bi? They talk about how they claimed queer first because of stigma, bi-erasure, biphobia, and lack of representation overall.🎙️ Connect with Josée:https://www.instagram.com/joseesovinskyrd/Blossom Counselling CentreComing out post: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CQxERNOHMMa/Follow-up post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ1SDvQrnHU/💻 Sources and resources from this episode:LGBT Identification Rises to 5.6% in Latest U.S. EstimateA statistical portrait of Canada's diverse LGBTQ2+ communitiesReporting on the Bisexual Community: A resource for journalists and media professionalsThis is article felt super-affirming to her: If You’re Not Sure You’re ‘Allowed’ to Identify as Bisexual, Read ThisBi Visibility Day - WebsiteBi+ History Month - WebsiteBi+ Health Month - WebsiteIf you happen to be in Ottawa, Canada - check out Kind Space for more resources, including for the bisexual communityHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

What are rolling pronouns? Are there questions you shouldn't ask trans people? In the previous episode, Zoa Glows (rolling she/her, they/them, he/him) shared out the allyship tip: "My ally tip is to pause and ask yourself, "will my compliments, questions, and language uplift this individual? Or could they possibly cause them discomfort or harm?" Because each of those things- compliments, questions, a lot of questions have called caused me harm and discomfort and a lot of language has caused me harm and discomfort. But on the flip side, a lot of it has uplifted me. So if you are willing, and you're wanting to uplift me, that's what I would love. Uplift me and make me feel like you see me and so: pause. Before you say something and think about those things and I think that people could possibly feel a little safer in approaching if they pause to think about whether they're gonna hurt me or not." In this mini-episode, host Chris Angel (they/them) revisits this tip and introduces the term rolling pronouns. They also talk about if trans people transition, what that can look like, and the questions that are definitely off-limits! Self-reflection questions from this episode: Will my compliments, questions, and language uplift this individual? Or could they possibly cause them discomfort or harm? Is this serving my own curiosity? Is it important for the work that we're doing together? Is there a trusted resource where I could learn about my question? Do I need to know this about the individual in order to support and/or love them? Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Mini-episodes feature any shout-outs, listener-submitted comments and questions, and a dive deeper into the allyship tip the previous guest shared. Please consider following where you listen to podcasts and become a supporter! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

In this week’s episode, Zoa Starlight Glows (Zoa now uses they/she pronouns) shares about coming out to her students and family. Learn about what messages she was given as a Black person while navigating a big, religious family, her LGBTQ+ identities over the years, and the noise of society overall telling and teaching her to hate herself (but rose above it!). We also discuss honoring students by giving a name + pronoun sheet ahead of time and how the term deadnaming doesn’t resonate for everyone. Have you been wondering why someone might use multiple pronoun sets? They talk about how their sets embrace different parts of themself and how you absolutely can ask people how they want you to use multiple pronoun sets.🎙️ Connect with Zoa:InstagramTikTokThe footage of Zoa coming out to students: https://www.tiktok.com/@zoaglows/video/6971755967306304774The infamous suitcase: https://www.tiktok.com/@zoaglows/video/6998160167107906821💻 Sources and resources from this episode:@Ellosteph on Instagram, also known as Steph Frosch, who created the pronoun sheet Zoa mentioned in the episode for teachersAce Schwarz (they/them) of @TeachingOutsideTheBinary also has a Get to Know You Sheet for teachersInviting In Toolkit by the National Black Justice Coalition (NBJC) “SUGGESTS that if someone puts in the work, they may be INVITED IN“. You can also see this IG post for more info: https://www.instagram.com/p/COA1O3rLt5y/Matt Bernstein’s post on love the sinner, hate the sin bigotry: https://www.instagram.com/p/CSiOgsLDv3O/Want to practice pronouncing pronoun sets? You can hear them here https://en.pronouns.page/Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

Are you open to a conversation? In the previous episode, Coco Peru (she/her, he/him) shared out her allyship tip: "What's important is the story. And so I would encourage that part of allyship be don't always judge a person on what they are presenting, but listen to their story. Because the story is where it's rich and the story is where you're going to connect with that person. The person that might appear so different from you, might actually be your greatest ally. So I think that for me, was the biggest lesson in creating Coco." In this mini-episode, host Chris Angel revisits this tip and shares out a suggestion for calling people in. They also give the following tips/self-reflections for building bridges across generations. 1. Have you built any bridges to connect with people of different generations? 2. Are there voices not being heard or included at events you attend? 3. Is there an LGBTQ+ archive near you? Sometimes they can be dedicated to specific sub-groups. You may find them on college campuses or private collections. There are lots of ways to get involved like looking through their collection, scheduling a tour, attending events, volunteering, and donating financially or pieces to sustain and grow the history for years to come. 4. Have you read any autobiographies? Poetry books or other media published or released by community members? If you are within the LGBTQ+ community, do you know your own history connected to your identities? An archive or library may be able to guide you or offer support. 5. Do you know the stories of any elders, specifically? There are history projects recording stories, such as the The Lavender Effect®’s oral history project. There’s also projects like @theaidsmemorial account on Instagram. 6. Does your local LGBTQ+ center, if you have one, offer any programming where generations or people of various backgrounds can come together? Are there other community organizations? There may be volunteer roles or ways to simply connect. For example, helping to organize a LGBTQ+ conference. 7. Does your local pride event intentionally find ways to bring people together? Since pride has become so commercialized over the years, I’m wondering about programming that helps us to learn more about each other, ourselves, and offer opportunities for connection. Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Mini-episodes feature any shout-outs, listener-submitted comments and questions, and a dive deeper into the allyship tip the previous guest shared. Please consider following where you listen to podcasts and become a supporter! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

In this week’s episode, Coco Peru (she/her, he/him) shares her history with self-identifying and how she's still seeking inspirational + affirming language, loving and reclaiming terms that are still used as slurs today, and a time in her life where the trans community and drag performers were under the same umbrella (and may still be for certain folks). We also discuss what it was like discovering We’wha and the term Two Spirit from a book, how reality TV has shaped drag over the years, and the importance of having conversations - especially when there are differences. Coco also shares about a time she handled an upsetting situation and the shift that occurred after. 🎙️ Connect with Coco and learn more about + support her work:WebsiteYouTube ChannelInstagramX💻 Sources and resources from this episode:How to use the term Two Spirit and notes on the variations http://jhr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/JHR2017-Style-Book-Indigenous-People.pdfBrief PBS video about We’wha https://rmpbs.pbslearningmedia.org/resource/fp20-we-wha/wewha-first-person-classroom/We’wha Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We%27whaDrag Kids - 2019 Documentary https://www.facebook.com/DragKidsDoc/Interested in watching drag shows? Some include RuPaul’s Drag Race (and its variations), We’re Here, The Boulet Brothers' Dragula, Pose, and Legendary.Hamburger Mary’s is a chain of franchised restaurants in the United States and Mexico that features regular drag shows, like drag bingo, and supports local LGBTQ+ charities.Drag performers mentioned in the episode:Varla Jean MermanJackie BeatBianca Del RioPeaches ChristHeklinaOnginaAiden ZhaneTrixie MattelBob the Drag QueenEurekaShangelaKasha DavisHost Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In the previous episode, Shane Whalley (ze/hir) shared out hir allyship tip: "I think being a good ally, is the willingness to be uncomfortable. If you make a mistake, I'm a big believer that I would love for someone[... to] #AcknowledgeandApologize and then ask if there's anything needed for repair and then do better. Right. And so for me, we're always going to make mistakes. We're always going to make mistakes. But, what we do once we do them is again, for me, is where our greatest learning happens and it's where our greatest healing happens."In this mini-episode, host Chris Angel revisits this tip and shares 3 tools to help you genuinely apologize:1. oops, ouch, I'm sorry (they now use "oops, ouch, thank you" - which will be addressed in a future bonus episode of season 3)2. nine essential ingredients of a true apology3. a repair modelThese tools combined will help to give you the confidence you need to give better apologies.💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Dr. Harriet Lerner and Brené Brown I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It MattersRhodes Perry: How Do You Repair After Unintentionally Causing Harm?Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and previous ones.*

In this week’s episode, Shane Whalley (ze/hir) shares a bit about hir history of language and community. Learn about the differences between cultural competency, cultural humility, and cultural responsiveness. We also discuss honoring community organizations that have been doing the work to embrace the trans community and why acknowledging their history is important. Have you been wondering as a cisgender and heterosexual ally if you can use the term queer? Ze has some tips for you.🎙️ Connect with Shane:LinkedInXWebsite - Daring DialoguesHir video for the Trans Lives/Trans Voices storytelling project created by Ground Floor Theatre: https://forge-forward.org/tdov-shane-whalley/💻 Sources and resources from this episode:Campus Pride https://www.campuspride.org/The National LGBTQ Taskforce https://www.thetaskforce.org/allgo https://allgo.org/PFLAG https://pflag.org/ and their glossary https://pflag.org/glossary/Queer Nation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer_NationWant to practice pronouncing they/them, ze/hir/, e/em pronoun sets? You can hear them here https://en.pronouns.page/Host Charlie Ocean, MSW (they/them), has a background in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and technology. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions based on the guests' unique intersecting identities. You can follow Charlie on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack. *You will hear Charlie's former name in this episode and others up through August 29th, 2023.*🙏🏻 Call to Action: Enjoyed this episode? Follow "Allyship is a Verb" on your favorite podcast platform so you don't miss any episodes. Your support helps us continue to bring conversations on LGBTQ+ allyship to the forefront.🌐 Visit our Website: For more resources and a full transcript of the episode, visit AllyshipIsAVerb.com

It's not too late to start your allyship practice or continue to make adjustments. This show talks about LGBTQ+ allyship tips and passing the mic. Episodes are quick tips that include some self-reflection questions, as well as longer episodes dedicated to passing the mic to keep the conversation intersectional. We'll hear from a wide range of LGBTQ+ guests about what tips they have, including any allyship they may practice. Let's create a safer space and learn about practicing allyship together! Full transcripts available at AllyshipisaVerb.com Host Chris Angel (they/them) is from Los Angeles, CA and now lives in Denver, CO. Their background is in LGBTQ+ training, community organizing, and social work. Subscribe to their monthly newsletter and enroll in their courses through LGBTQ School. Check out GenderSexuality.Info for national US LGBTQ+ resources. Get episode teasers and additional tips on Instagram at @GenderSexualityInfo