Adam Carolla Show

Getting right to the news, Paul Reubens recently did an interview with Playboy talking about his arrest in an adult movie theater. Adam and Teresa discuss the facts of the case, and Adam comments on masturbation habits. They go on a side jag about some of the 'strange procedures' Adam has gone through over the years, but Adam brings it back to the arrest with complaints about the usage of police resources. Next up is the reveal of the 10 Sexiest Celebrity Stoners. Everyone talks about Charlize Theron and her apple bong, and Dawson chimes in as being 'the MacGuyver of bongs'. Talking more about getting high and spacing out, Adam recalls losing his car at the Rose Bowl, and Teresa talks about having sleep deprivation as a result of her baby. At some point Donny comes in to defend himself for not getting Adam the right cup of coffee while they were in Pebble Beach. Comedian of Comedy Brian Posehn enters the studio lookin' fit. He talks about raising a 15-month-old kid, and his experiences losing weight and being very tall. Adam talks with him about growing up with the feeling of never wanting kids or a family, but eventually making the switch. Brian also goes into more detail about some of the adversity he faced growing up 'the poor skinny weird kid that tried to be funny.' Before a few rounds of Made-Up Movie, Donny comes in to fix the phones. After getting through the technical difficulties, Adam takes your calls of fake movie titles, and turns them into brilliant plots in minutes. Everyone listens to a track off Brian's album, 'Fart and Wiener Jokes.' They talk about the strange lyrics found in classic Kenny Rogers songs, and break down the lyrics to both 'Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town' and 'Coward of The County.' Adam talks about the time he interviewed Kenny Rogers, and also jokes about what it must have been like to collaborate with the guy or have a song written about you. To hear more from Brian Posehn, visit: http://www.brianposehn.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Teresa is out today, so Mike Lynch is stepping in for the news. But before they get started, Adam tells a couple Donny stories. The first involves a long rant where Adam discusses the conspiracy of paying for your water at restaurants, and the next is a drawn out discussion about Donny borrowing Adam's CBS pilot and not explaining that he watched it. Bald Bryan also chimes in on the argument, trying to determine the proper social etiquette to giving your friend feedback. In the news, Steven Tyler has been strongly suggested as the newest judge on American Idol. Adam and Mike agree that the show has lost its momentum, and reflect on the best Aerosmith songs. Later, Adam talks about a car auction where he didn't bid on a car wanted, but heard was 'not what you think it is.' Afterwards he met the guy who bought the car, but he didn't want to ruin his day. The last news story revolves around the highest paid hip-hop artists, and Adam goes on a long rant about rich people paying their 'fair share' of taxes. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones frontman and long time friend Dicky Barrett sits on the couch, and talks about Mike August booking him for the show. They also talk about Adam's big 'Garage Mahal' makeover, and the experience of renovating the warehouse out back. Adam compliments Dicky on his past work as a bartender, and Dicky talks about tending bars from the Fatted Calf in Boston, to Adam's private parties. He and Adam decide to trade their favorite stories, and Dicky unravels a truly epic story about traveling through Mexico, and eating PB&J sandwiches. In exchange, Adam tells the story of a road trip with his old friend Daniel Kellison, an obsessive Boston Red Sox fan. Adam complains about the boring car rides, and hanging out with rich people he didn't like anyway. Everyone then goes on a side jag about watching sports, hanging with Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal, and later they throw in some music related talk about the history of ska and the better Reggae songs. After a quick round of Germany or Florida, Dawson tells a story of trying to get tickets to a Bosstones' show and getting recognized by Dicky at the end of the set. Adam talks about the energy of the horn section, and says they have the type of show where it doesn't matter if you know the songs, you'll have a great time no matter what. To see The Bosstones' upcoming tour dates, visit: http://www.bosstonesmusic.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens up talking about being a trucker, and the various songs and movies based on that lifestyle. He wonders why people get excited about Tom Selleck Made-For-TV movies, when there are 'real movies' one or two channels over. He recalls a recent experience with Donny and Sandy Ganz, watching Walker Texas Ranger on TV. Haley Joel Osment and Mackenzie Phillips were both guest stars, and Adam can't believe the episodes made it to air. There's also some talk about racist backing music on the show, and Bald Bryan gushes about The Expendables. Adam has a manuscript of his book with him, and he and Teresa start talking about the dedication pages. Adam doesn't understand why you have to thank people who are just doing their normal job, and wants to limit the amount of people he references. He talks about how some TV shows have tons of producers, and how this inflated number diminishes from the people who actually contribute to the show. Teresa, on the other hand, thanked tons of people in her book, however she recently removed her Dad from the list. She talks about the recent loan she co-signed with him, and the foreclosure that is now plaguing her credit. Adam rants about the non-responsibility of some people, and suggests their dads should have a 'financial tard off'. In the news, Dr. Laura is involved in a racial slur scandal after saying the N-word a reported 11 times during a listener call. They listen to the clip, as well as her follow up clip on Larry King suggesting that she is not renewing her radio contract when it's up at the end of the year so she can preserve her first amendment rights to say what she wants. Adam talks about the 'witch hunt for racists' in our country, but also doesn't understand why people listen to her show anyway. In other news, Tersesa brings up Blagojevich being found guilty of one felony offense. Joel Stein enters the studio, immediately remarking on the condition of Adam's garage, which Adam explains is being renovated for a TV show. Joel is actually writing a book about how to be a man, so he can pass the knowledge onto his son. Since undergoing this project, he has done everything from UFC fighting, to firefighting, to hunting, and more. Joel talks about being trained to kickbox by Randy Couture, and also recalls with Adam a controversial boxing match he once attended. He also asks Adam to teach him about cars, and Adam spends a long time explaining how cars work, and what makes them so appealing. Jumping back into the news, a South Carolina woman killed both of her kids, then faked a car crash to blame it on. Joel is fascinated by Teresa's selection of the story, and wonders if she feels better reading about bad parenting since she is currently raising a son. Teresa also talks about new developments in understanding Lou Gehrig disease, and Adam goes into a long rant about playing football and having your bell rung. He talks more about the 'sports mentality,' and how some people are 'used to dudes telling you how to do shit.' He wraps up the show talking about how his own son is a puss, and feels the need to teach him how to be a man. Reach Joel Stein via Twitter @TheJoelStein, or visit his website: www.thejoelstein.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam and Teresa jump directly into some sad local news: the fruit vendor who works near Teresa has been stabbed. They talk about the mental condition of people capable of such actions, and Adam gives some unique advice to people organizing the federal budget. Teresa talks about the death of the Craig's List killer in prison, and Adam anticipates the pending lawsuits. In other news, they also talk about Kara DiGuardio being let go from American Idol, and Adam is reminded of losing his job at the radio station. They also discuss more Mel Gibson drama, and lastly the relationship between Sadie Frost and Jude Law. Larry Miller comes on the show and adds more color to Adam's joke about living 'ass-to-fist'. He and Adam laugh about how they used to write sitcom jokes back in the day, and also discuss life in prison. They play a round of Hypothetical Questions, and Teresa is reminded of her recent experience getting a book blurb from Jenny McCarthy. Larry also tells some stories from his party days, and Adam recalls dealing with drunk people. Rachelle Spector comes in studio, and Adam talks to her about her marriage to producer Phil Spector. Adam asks about the rumors surrounding his large restaurant tips, and also gets more details about his second degree murder trial. Rachelle talks about her love and devotion to this day, and how she's earned an investigative license to assist him in the court appeals process. They also talk about her work at Genius Forever Records, and the release of her album, 'Out of My Chelle.' They listen to a sample and go on a side jag about trombone solos. Adam asks her a bit about her background, and suggests she would be great as a judge on American Idol. Rachelle talks to Adam about his experience on Dancing with the Stars, and asks him to hook her up with a gig. Wrapping up the news, Teresa goes through thefrisky.com's list of super inappropriate celebrity dads. Adam offers his criticisms of Rod Stewart, Ryan O'Neal, Donald Trump, and several others. They also talk to Rachelle about her marriage to an older man, and working on Phil Spector's hairstyles. You can find out more at www.rachellespector.com Also be sure to visit www.larrymillerhumor.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam was still in Pebble Beach today so enjoy This Week in Last Week, looking back on the best moments of last week's Adam Carolla show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam is already in complaint mode, talking about shitty songs that never end. The group listens to 'American Woman,' and Adam starts talking about the Bay City Rollers. A 'gargantuan girl' that he went to high school with was obsessed with the band, and even dressed in the same clothing. Jumping into the news, Teresa lists off the highest paid TV Actors. Oprah and Judge Judy top the list, but Jimmy Kimmel is not too far behind. They start talking about Chelsea Handler's book sales, which prompts Adam to talk a bit about his own. Author Gregory Levey calls in to talk about his memoir, "Shut Up, I'm Talking: And Other Diplomacy Lessons I Learned in the Israeli Government." He talks about his entire experience becoming a speechwriter for Israel's ambassador to the UN. He and Adam also exchange their thoughts on Middle East politics, as well as hot Israeli chicks. Teresa recalls her experiences on El Al airlines, then returns to the list of highest paid TV actors for the second part of the news. From there, she jumps into a wide variety of stories: Mexico's battle for gay rights, a perverted Disneyland employee, and also Vogue's 1924 Book of Etiquette. Greg Fitzsimmons steps in, just as Teresa leaves. He and Adam quickly go a jag about the Peanuts gang, and also reggae music in Hawaii. Greg was recently there with his family, and is very bitter about the luau experience. Adam takes a listener call from a guy who wants advice about marrying a woman who makes three times as much money as he does. Adam complains about his wife never making any money, but Greg tells the caller he thinks marrying a rich woman may inspire him to work harder. Wrapping up the show, Adam reflects a bit more on Jimmy's presence on the highest paid TV actors list. He and Greg also discuss Adam's recent Live Show in Tempe, AZ. They both recall experiences dealing with club owners, and also doing stand-up across the country. Please visit our advertisers' links, and also today's guests: www.gregfitzsimmons.com www.gregorylevey.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam and Teresa jump right into the news. The Flint stabbing suspect is still on the loose, and Adam offers a better motive for the killer. Teresa talks about having to co-sign a loan for her father, and talks about the importance of living within your means. Adam also tells more stories from backstage during his recent run of shows in Tempe. The Ragin Cajun, Stephen Domingue, enters the studio with several samplings of his delicious Cajun food. He's just spent the last couple months touring the country; cooking and filming for a new reality competition on the Food Network. Teresa teases him about losing to the crepe guy, but Stephen can't say a word about who won. He talks about coming to the city with nothing, and then trying to bring 'fais do-do' to LA (or essentially New Orleans culture). Adam talks further with him about the culture, and also the experience of cooking and eating an alligator. Stephen talks about how the oil spill is affecting his business, and also the impact of other recent events like Hurricane Katrina and the Saints winning the Superbowl. He'll soon be serving his food at USC football games, and be sure to check him out on the new Food Network series, The Great Food Truck Race. Peter North comes in, and Adam asks him how many porno films he's been in. Peter says he's lost count, but something like 1700. He talks about growing up in Canada, moving to LA, and eventually claiming fame for 'the money shot'. Everyone has a good laugh going through his various porn nicknames. Teresa asks him some very personal but interesting questions about the finer details of filming, and Peter also clears up the controversial gay porn issue. They talk a bit more about the current state of the porn industry, and Peter flashes back to some of his favorite co-stars, and stories from the set. They also talk about his family's reactions to his career, and the times Peter was so turned off, he couldn't go through with the scene. Back to the news, they talk about a guy caught marinating a live cat. They also talk about American Idol judges, Bill O'Reilly, and Jennifer Anniston, which eventually leads to a conversation about having to do shitty movies to stay relevant. The final news story involves Bachelorette star Ali and her threats of having controversial photos released. It leads Adam into a rant about invasion of privacy, and how we seem to have lost all sense of decency. Find out more from The Ragin Cajun, Stephen Domingue, at http://www.ragincajunonwheels.com/ And also be sure to visit: www.peternorth.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens by talking about his recent run of stand-up shows in Arizona. He was recently talking to Sarah Silverman about how easy it is to do 90-minutes of stand-up when he has a project behind him, but of course, the lightbulb blew out towards the end of one of his shows. The new bulb wasn't working, so Adam was forced to do the show totally by himself. Donny chimes in to confirm that everything went great. Adam also takes a call from Kevin Nealon to discuss his fundraiser for his friend Big Joe, and Adam rants about members of his family always bumming him out. The top news story deals with a Jet Blue flight attendant who got very upset after a dispute about the overhead bins. He told everyone off, grabbed some beers, and leaped out of the emergency exit onto the inflatable raft. Adam says he's now ready for all the bullshit lawsuits that will no doubt follow from people who were on the plane, and exposes his theory that gay men may be too high strung to be airline attendants. Another news story deals with Fantasia Barrino's suicide attempt, and the last deals with parents who lost custody of their children after several domestic incidents, including naming their kid after Adolf Hitler. Today's guest is Adam Curry, host of the podcast "No Agenda". Adam immediately talks about his European style, and talks to him about being tall and hugging Shaquille O'Neal. Curry also has a series of 2-minute 'Appisodes' which give video demos of popular apps that you may want to download. He talks about working on his own podcast, and how he once famously offered Howard Stern $100 million to move his show away from satellite and onto the internet. They talk about the future of the medium, and Curry offers his theories on Mel Gibson's recent behavior. Talking more about running a podcast, Curry suggests to Adam that he should ask listeners to donate money to the show. Adam defends his decision to go a more commercial route, and Teresa points out that everyone has been very supportive of the show's advertisers. The conversation moves to the television business, and Curry says the Kardashian fad really pisses him off. Speaking of entertainment news, Teresa says that they are about to make a biopic of Peggy Lee. They talk about the casting of Reese Witherspoon, and Adam draws comparisons to Sex and the City, and how the gay population will help that movie make money. Another news story deals with a confrontation where someone wiped a dirty diaper on somebody's car, and it reminds Adam of having to wipe his own kids' asses, even though they're four. The last news story involves a West Virginia man caught in the act with a mannequin, which reminds Curry of briefly attending school in the state. Curry talks further of growing up in Europe, and Adam praises his own 'spidey-sense' for recognizing this European quality earlier. To hear more from Adam Curry, visit: www.noagendashow.comAnd to get tickets for Kevin Nealon's fundraiser, visit: www.friendsofbigjoe.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam just got back from a weekend in Phoenix, and talks about the sold-out six show run. He also talks about killing time during the day, and plugs our new sponsor as Teresa analyses his fashion choices for the day. Adam also talks about having to submit pictures for the publication of his upcoming book, and reminisces about a bunch of them. They read a copy of the first review Adam ever received, and he also talks about his first pet, Lotzi. The news opens with more details about Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller's broken relationship. They talk about Brooke's jealousy of Charlie's father-daughter bond, all based on a shared favorite song. On the opposite side of the father-daughter relationship spectrum, Lawrence Fishburne's daughter is releasing a porno. The group discusses how much she must hate her father, and also talk about other actresses dealing with their parents' reaction to their film nudity. Larry Miller comes in, adding more to the Lawrence Fishburne story. He also comments that he knew one of the guys referenced in the same issue of Adam's LA Weekly review. Adam points out that when you write a book, it 'forces you to get your [memory] box out.' Adam and Larry play a few rounds of The Hypothetical Road Trip Game, and both share stories about cars with unusual smells. Today's guest is Mariana Klaveno, who you may recognize from True Blood. They talk about her Vampire sex scenes on the HBO series, and Adam talks about the awkwardness of filming a scene where he had to make out with his friend's wife. Mariana also talks about keeping her job as a restaurant hostess long after she landed the series role. Adam recalls stories of seeing her at the restaurant, and gets her to open up and enact 'hostess revenge' on some of the celebrities she's dealt with in the past. Adam dives even further into the past, asking Mariana about her childhood and how she decided to go into the industry. She says it's something she always wanted to do, and quickly went to college and packed up the car to Hollywood. Jumping back into the news, Teresa reveals a list of actresses who didn't make to Forbes' Highest Paid, but should have. Examples include Jane Lynch and Christina Hendricks, which sends Adam into stories about working on The Hammer and proclaiming to women everywhere that guys have always, and will always, love tits and ass.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens with a conversation about knowing people by their habits. He says that he's not necessarily smarter than anyone else, he just trusts his instincts that most people don't change. He and Teresa discuss the option of having a 'Sane' stamp on your driver's license, and Adam talks about women being more instinctual than men. There's also some talk about Adam's wife shockingly cleaning the car, and Bald Bryan's success record at Totally Topical Tivo Trivia. In the news, a drunk pregnant woman was arrested for stealing money for drugs. They joke about drive thru Mexican food, the glory of taco tracks, and fucked up people having fucked up kids. Adam also talks about his relationship with his own kids for a bit, and how his daughter goes out of her way to be mean, while Sonny is as affectionate as ever. The final two news stories both deal with animals: a dog who saved his owner's life by biting off his toe, and a Chinese fishmonger who fell into a tank of eels, only to have one swim up his ass. Adam takes a few listener calls, starting with someone who wants to know what Adam thinks about ESPN Sports Guy Bill Simmons twittering about Adam's relationship with Jay Leno. Adam speaks for a while about how 'we live in a time when everyone talks trash about everyone else.' He relays his experiences working with both Leno and David Letterman, and insists that from his perspective, Jay is a much nicer guy. Another caller demands that Adam recant his statements about chapstick, and the final caller wants advice before setting off to make a documentary. Adam says you should never make something just because you think it will be popular; you should instead make something because you're passionate about it. Comedian Lisa Ann Walter enters the studio and recalls auditioning to play Adam's wife in his TV pilot. We soon find out that both of them used to work at McDonalds, though Adam was never allowed to work past the grill. Lisa teases that the counter was a whole new level of elegance, and says that she holds a record for having served 90 people in one minute. Lisa is also the executive producer for Dance Your Ass Off, and she would often be around when Adam was on Dancing with the Stars. Adam talks about the nervous pressure of the first dance, and how he embarrassed himself in front of Marisa Jaret Winokur (who later became the host of DYAO). Rumor had it that Marisa was let go for not being heavy, but Lisa says it's bullshit. She herself identifies with being fat, adding, 'we all self loathe.' Now Mel B. (former Spice Girl) is the host, and Lisa says she might go gay for her. Adam agrees, and says he'd go gay for Mel G. Dance Your Ass Off airs Mondays at 10pm on Oxygen.You can follow Lisa on Twitter @Lisaannwalter. And Adam is also now twittering! Follow @AdamCarollaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1. Lisa Lampinelli - getting married to Jimmy Big Balls2. Nils Lofgrin - playing w/ Springsteen, plays a song.3. Relationship advice w/ Lisa Lampinelli4. Adam Wins Tivo5. Lisa Lampinelli - Roasts6. Nils Lofgrin plays us outSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The show gets started right off the bat important News: Adam's book is doing gangbusters on the charts. Adam sincerely thanks everyone for all their support, and gives his fans credit for understanding this 'new dawn' in the consumer-buyer relationship. In national news, Proposition 8 was overturned today, and may go as far as the Supreme Court to decide whether gays have a constitutional right to marry. Adam says, like pot, this is something 'people shouldn't give a shit about.' He and Teresa discuss how it can be seen as a violation of civil rights, though Adam also understands how some people can see this as Americans 'sliding away from the traditional society they want.' In celebrity news, Giselle Bundchen recently had a baby, and everyone is talking about how great she still looks. She's also in the news for advocating breast-feeding, but Adam is just mostly blown away at how much money she makes for saying so little. After a brief story about a guy in New York who sells grilled cheese sandwiches disguised to look like drugs, Teresa brings up a story of Jessica and Ashley Simpson's father Joe once again trying to ruin his daughter's careers. They talk about Ashley's SNL debacle, Jessica's reputation for being 'sexual napalm,' and Adam fantasizes what that might be like. Before the guest is brought in, the group plays a round of Totally Topical TiVo Trivia. It's first to five, and a real nailbiter. Then Dan Milano of MTV's Warren the Ape steps in, and talks about his early experiences working on the series Greg the Bunny. Dan discusses being up obsessed with Muppets as a kid, and growing up to make new characters with friends once he was given a cable access show. They talk about other famous TV puppets, include Kukla, Fran and Ollie and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Dan also talks about being at Comic-Con, and working on a script for a remake of Short Circuit. T brings back the news with more revelations from Angelina Jolie's biography. Apparently she once hired a hitman to kill herself, and Adam re-enacts what he would do if he was given that job. They also discuss the Dugger family, which leads Adam into commentary about having way too many kids and God's will. Another news story deals with Justin Bieber's upcoming movie, and also a few other entertainment related stories involve Diablo Cody, LeAnne Rimes, and Mike Tyson. Jeremy London was recently in the news for claiming to be kidnapped and forced to do drugs-conveniently just before having to take a drug test. His family maintained that he was struggling with a drug addiction, and now he's on Celebrity Rehab. This brings everything back full circle to Dan's show, Warren the Ape, which also features Dr. Drew. He and Adam joke about working with him, and Dan talks a bit more about the improvised realism of his show. Adam goes on a long jag about various levels of quality in gas stations, and the show ends with a brief commentary of Mel Gibson's recently released emails. To see Dan's work, check out Warren the Ape on MTV, Mondays at 1030. Greg the Bunny is also available on DVD.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens by discussing his recent conversation with documentarian Ken Burns. Adam says that race came up, and that he thought Ken said something disturbing. Essentially the question was whether or not you'd be willing to switch places with Chris Rock... to which Adam says absolutely, in the drop of a hat. They also talk about which celebrities the valet guy thought were assholes, and Adam asks Teresa a very sensitive question about his daughter's bathroom habits. Jumping into the news, the first story revolves around the Bachelorette finale. They talk about contestant Chris overplaying the 'mom dying card,' but Adam jokes about wishing he could have killed his mom when he was single so he could get laid. They also listen to a breakup clip from the show, which Teresa said she did not see coming. The second part of the news is too depressing, so T asks Adam to chose between the two stories. The one he picks involves six kids drowning while trying to save their friend, and this sends Adam off on a huge rant about parents focusing on unimportant things like tap water and third-hand smoke, instead of more practical things like keeping the pool gate closed. Queen of Mean Lisa Lampanelli enters the studio and wastes no time joking about her fiances big balls. She talks about her upcoming wedding this fall, and how the florist is overcharging her. She offers her thoughts on The Bachelorette finale, and everyone gets to talking about all kids of trash TV; including The View and Real Housewives of New Jersey. They also talk about wedding dress shopping at Big and Tall stores, and plus size models with small faces. Adam takes a few listener calls to give relationship advice. One caller is concerned with his girlfriend's family who speaks french in front of him, and another is wondering if he should break up with his girlfriend before going off to college. Adam says to both of them not to fight fate, and just understand that you're young and will likely meet many women before you get married. He also spends some time talking about his own break from his wife before they got married, and the benefits of being single and playing the field before settling down. Teresa reminds Adam and Lisa to talk about the recent Comedy Central roast of David Hasselhoff, which Lisa was a part of. Lisa says that she didn't know what to say about roastermaster Seth MacFarlane, but she did have plenty of material on the man of the hour. Adam also chimes in with his own stories of The Hoff, and asks Lisa about how badly she had to pee during the recording. Lisa says that it was the easiest roast she's ever had to do because she got to open instead of close. Adam and Lisa delve farther into their own experiences of previous roasts, and talk about the importance of prepping your material instead of improvising. Lisa says the jokes were so great this year, they didn't even hurt her feelings; unlike past participant Pam Anderson, who almost cried. Check out insultcomic.com for Lisa's upcoming dates, and watch her on Comedy Central's roast of David Hasselhoff, airing Sunday, August 15th.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam's really excited to bring Ed Begley Jr. back on the show, and talks about his appearance in Who Killed The Electric Car. Speaking of cars, Adam recently had an incident on the road where he made a ballsy pass at a slow driver hoping to never see them again. He also complains about getting lost in the various Los Angeles canyons, and thanks everyone for keeping his book on the bestseller list. Maxine Waters is in the news for her involvement in an ethics scandal. Adam says he met her once and got brushed off. Adam thinks she's more focused on reelection than doing something to actually help. He talks about the abuse that comes from having too many kids, and also rants about the abuse of the government tax system. Teresa marvels at Bill Gates ability to be charitable while still remaining outside the system, and also jokes with Adam about Lady Gaga copying Madonna's career. Bald Bryan makes a Jennifer Hudson joke, and Isaac Hayes steps in to say his part. Larry Miller enters the studio, and is fascinated by Adam's earlier story about getting stuck behind a slow driver. He says that he's usually the one driving too slowly-though he always pulls over to let people by. Adam and Larry share their recent encounters with rude drivers and being labeled as rude drivers, and Larry points out that the middle finger is a reflex response. Changing subjects, Adam wants to hold a competition for the cheapest buzz, and reminisces on an uncomfortable experience in an Atlanta Liquor store. Before heading out, Adam and Larry plays the Hypothetical Road Trip game, the game with no wrong answers. Ed Begley Jr. comes by, and Adam asks 'how's the crusade going?' Ed talks excitedly about balancing his three careers, and the pleasure of endorsing a variety of green products. Adam asks him about the realities of owning an electric car, and also the benefits of solar roof panels. Teresa then asks Ed about a recent appearance on Fox News, which Ed says happened on a very bad day. They play the clip and applaud his arguments, but Ed also has time to clear up a few things he said. Adam also jumps in with a rant about government's involvement with codes. The second part of the news starts with a story about recycling. A couple in Spokane collected over 400,000 cans, then used the money they made to pay for their wedding. They are still collecting cans, donating proceeds to Doctors Without Borders (follow on Twitter @WeddingCans). Teresa also brings up a new beer that is 120proof alcohol, and the latest American Idol judge drama. Wrapping up the show, the group discusses Jimmy Smits, and Ed's new show on NBC: Outlaw. Ed says, 'It's not what you'd expect, that's all I'll say.' Be on the lookout for Outlaw on NBC, and also visit www.larrymillerhumor.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam says he spent time with both Jay Leno and Seth MacFarlane this weekend. He went to see Jay because he needed a new piece for his car and Jay has a machine that can easily duplicate parts. Later Adam went over to Seth MacFarlane's house, who is about to host the Comedy Central roast of David Hasselhoff. He wanted advice from Adam, and Adam told him 'be sure to pee' since the unedited performance is much longer. He also stresses the importance of being a man and making your own decisions, and not listening to humorless TV executives. In the news, Chelsea Clinton is officially married. She asked her father Bill to lose 15 pounds before the wedding, but since it cost between $2-5 million, Adam thinks it was a ridiculous request to make. Teresa also brings up that it was an interfaith ceremony, which Adam is adamantly against: 'Flip a fucking coin!' Another news story deals with Obama's appearance on The View. Both Rosie O'Donnell and Sarah Palin had criticisms to make, and Adam is also unsure as to why he did it. He asks 'isn't he supposed to be running the country,' and also thinks that it's beneath him to appear on a TV show like that instead of doing a fireside chat. They listen to a few clips of the show, and everyone thinks it's ridiculous hearing him answer questions about pop culture. Adam suggests if the president wants everyone to feel good, he should do it by fixing the economy and not spending time sitting around on the couch. The last news story deals with Laurence Fishburne's daughter, who has decided to jumpstart her career by appearing in a sex tape. Teresa compares it to the bum she sees living in her neighborhood who once attended Juliard. Fishburne's daughter montana compares herself to Kim Kardashian, saying that clearly it helped her career so why not hers? Adam brings in the lead guitar player for Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Nils Lofgren. They chat about the improvisational nature of performing shows, in particular getting set lists only 30 minutes before a show and still not quite adhering to them. Adam asks if there are any songs that he hates having to play, but Nils mostly just jokes about playing songs where no one really knows what the chorus is. They also talk a little bit about hanging out and bumping into random celebrities. Adam points out that there may be higher profile people than Bruce, but no one's cooler. Nils then plays a beautiful Neil Young song, which prompts Adam to talk about the ability for musicians to perform outside their head (unlike comedians). Nils tells more great stories from the road, speaks about attending the Comedy Central roast, and then plays one final song to send everyone out. To find out all of Nils upcoming showdates, check out: www.nilslofgren.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for TWiTW! The very best of the Adam Carolla Show from this week in one single podcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After a special guest helps with advertising, Teresa jumps right into the news. The first story deals with the alleged details of Chelsea Clinton's upcoming wedding. Adam jokes about the gift he bought for her, and talks with Teresa about the recent trend of sexing it up at your wedding. Adam says Chelsea's wedding seems a bit expensive, and in today's economy, it should be reeled in a bit. In other news, a recent bear attack in Montana left several dead and wounded. Adam talks about the 'wildly unsatisfying' way to defend yourself against a bear, and Teresa talks about her experiences in Yosemite. Adam then reflects on going camping with Donny, having nothing more than a blanket. Other news stories revolve around Tiger Wood's mistress avoiding rehab, an update on the woman with gigantism, and the latest Kate Gosselin drama. Intern Logan joined Adam at Comic-Con, and helped out for a segment of Nerdwalking. Random nerds are asked questions about sports and other manly things, and Adam, Teresa, and Bryan compete to see who can predict if the nerd will know the correct answer. Author Tony O'Neill, hailed as the It Writer of the Decade, joins the studio. He talks to Adam about growing up in Lancashire, England and moving out to Los Angeles after a great party. In the past, Tony has struggled with drug addiction, however he disagrees with Dr. Drew about the image of recovery. As Tony puts it, 'to a junkie, a beer isn't a relapse.' They talk about other authors on the It list, and Adam gets advice on releasing his book and the publishing world. Tony is also a musician, and Adam recalls a story that a recent guest from the band Yoso told him about a drug-related incident. In honor of the super-band, they start listening to a Toto song, then a version of William Shatner singing Harry Chapin's 'Taxi.' Adam recently played the original on the show, and he plays it again for Teresa and Tony, reminding everyone of it's 'positive message for the kids'. Finishing off the news, Teresa talks about the birth of a Zedonk, and also a religious bench advertisement that suggests the end of days is nigh. Tony jokes that if that's true, then Jesus would really love his latest book. Be sure to pick up a copy of 'Sick City,' and also check out Tony's live reading/singing/drinking, this Friday in Portland, and Saturday in San Francisco. Also a shout out to www.richbanks.com for helping us with all our music, including the Nerdwalking theme song.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Teresa is back after visiting relatives, and talks a bit about her grandmother's funeral. She reflects on her parents dropping her off to spend time with her grandparents when she was a kid, and Adam recalls his grandparent's extremely small swimming pool. He adds that kids shouldn't think they're an inconvenience to their parents, though unfortunately both he and Teresa were raised to feel that way. Adam also talks a bit about his book being on the best seller list, and says he's worried about his parents reading it because he doesn't say anything nice about them in it. Jumping into the news, Adam and Teresa discuss the Wikileak scandal, which according to one source, lists '92,000 reasons to end the war.' Adam is confused because he always thought that the war in Afghanistan was supposed to be 'the good war.' They discuss a controversy surrounding training police officers in Afghanistan, and Adam also talks about Terrell Owens shitty attitude and recent switch to Cincinnati. Another news story revolves around Angelina Jolie's private sex life, as she recently mentioned a few celebrities that she was willing to date when she was single. It reminds Adam of his relationship with Natasha Henstridge, and how he found out too late she was willing to go out with him. The last news story deals with Paris Hilton being caught doing the Hitler salute. Alonzo Bodden (from Last Comic Standing and 101 Cars You Must Drive) comes in the studio with a soft cast around his wrist. He hurt it after falling off his Ducati and says that his hand swelled up 'like a Mickey Mouse glove.' He says that the pain hasn't really been so bad, it's mostly just the inconvenience. The guys start talking about being too tall to ride a motorcycle, and also a couple celebrities that are sponsoring racing teams. The segment ends with them talking about doing comedy gigs to help buy new tires for their bikes. For 'Who The Fuck Sells This Shit,' Adam takes a call from someone selling clipboards for $1 a piece. So far she hasn't sold any. Another caller is selling blank cassette tapes that he found in his garage, and Adam teases him about selling them for cash only. He and Teresa compare online trading to hitchhiking, wondering who is more dangerous, the person selling, or the person picking up. The last caller is selling 86 new cans of beer for a buck a piece, but Adam convinces him to just drink it. In fact, the beer seller is trying to raise money to help his band The Inevitable Backlash, as they go into recording their first album. We hear a bit of their single and even watch a part of the music video. Announcer Dawson recognizes the porn star who stars in the video as a Hustler Honey that he saw on a porno tape once. Before signing off, Adam teases Donny for mispronouncing La Jolla, even though his own last name has a soft J. To see The Inevitable Backlash music video (NSFW), check out: http://www.vimeo.com/10548330 And to find out upcoming dates for Alonzo Bodden, visit www.alonzolive.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam begins with a couple of complaints about the lack of internet at his house, and the cable guy who takes forever to show up. He also discusses his ranking on the iTunes charts, his maid's forgetful habits, and why he can't feed his dog cashews. Teresa is still out until tomorrow, so Bald Bryan is stepping in for the news. Barack Obama will be on The View Adam complains about how shitty the show is. Bald Bryan also talks about a woman suing American Airlines for not refunding her baggage check after losing her luggage, and they briefly discuss Veterans' access to medical marijuana prescriptions. Prior to recording, the cable guy came by the studio and bumped into Bald Bryan's truck (Bald Bryan says, 'Not the worse thing that happened to me this year.') Larry Miller sits on the couch to add more breaking news to the story. From there, the guys jump into Hypothetical Road Trips and talk about driving with unfortunate people like Adult Male Harry Potter Fans, and Wannabe Competitive Eaters. Mary Lynn Rajskub Spreads Her Legs is the new one-woman show, performing weekends in Hollywood. The actress steps in to talk about the differences in performing a show as opposed to standup, and Adam discusses the benefits of improv and being too lazy to memorize lines. Mary Lynn also talks about becoming a mom, raising a family, and living with her personal trainer husband. Adam talks about his exercise habits, and says that everyone he knew in high school is pretty much in the same shape now as they were then. Adam complains about Seal and Heidi Klum being too much in love, and takes a couple of listener phone calls. The first asks Adam his thoughts on the racism in Tyler Perry films, and this leads Adam into a long rant comparing Perry's career with Tony Villaragosa. Adam also talks about Kirk Cameron, who made the highest grossing independent movie of 2008 with a deeply religious film. The second caller asks for Adam's views on the electric car, and Adam thinks it's a great idea, criticizing American society for their lack of imagination. In the last section of the news, Bald Bryan brings up the salary scandal of Robert Rizzo in the City of Bell. He resigned after word got out over his inflated paycheck, but as a result, he's now receiving the highest resignation payout in the state. Adam says, "what a shocker we're bankrupt." The last news story deals with the death of 19 people during a stampede at The Love Parade in West Germany. Adam complains about electronic music, and before they sign off, both Adam and Mary Lynn rap over repetitive beats. Be sure check out 'Mary Lynn Rajskub Spreads Her Legs,' performing every Friday and Saturday night at The Steve Allen Theater in Hollywood. You can also follow her on Twitter @rajskub And don't forget to hear more from Larry at www.larrymillerhumor.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens by discussing a recent walk with his dog and daughter. He has some interesting questions about dog poop etiquette, and talks about the hot Indian chick who didn't seem to follow it. He also talks about driving his daughter up the street without her seat belt on, and how she immediately ratted him out to his wife. Bald Bryan is covering the News, and since Comic-Con was this past weekend, all the stories revolve around the convention. Adam is reminded of a classic 70s song he talked about during an interview, and says that he doesn't quite get the obsession with comics, even though he has an obsession with cars. 'Everyone needs a hobby,' he says, but at least his is tangible. One news story from Comic-Con revolves around a guy who was stabbed in the face with a pen for trying to hold a seat, and another story deals with casting confirmations for the new Avengers movie. Adam also takes time to complain about asshole parking lot attendants and pawn shops. As Tom Arnold is brought into the studio, Adam thanks all the listeners for their generous pre-orders of his book even though it isn't released until November. Tom takes a seat and he and Adam joke about how Tom is usually a good bet for the 'death pool' since he's struggled with many personal issues in the past. Tom talks about the time that Roseanne Barr sang the national anthem (exactly 20 years ago), and how he ended up in jail after assaulting a paparazzi in the airport who tried to assault her once they landed. And speaking of prison, Tom was recently on TMZ speaking about Lindsay Lohan's jail sentence. He speaks from experience and says that prison is a bad place to detox. Tom also talks about referring various celebrity friends to Dr. Drew, and he tells a few stories about failed attempts to helping people get sober. Adam talks more with Tom about his struggles with addictions, and says that like a lot of people, Tom has a metronome built inside his brain. He asks Tom how he slows it down, and Tom confesses that his strength comes from his relationship with his girlfriend. They also spend some time talking about Tom's relationship with Roseanne, and how technology has made it possible for people to anonymously say horrible things about people constantly. Wrapping up the show, Adam takes a few calls for rounds of What Can't Adam Complain About. Topics vary from saving the animals, to sign language interpreters. To find out more info Tom's upcoming stand-up dates, check out: www.californiatheater.net or www.themauicelebrityseries.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Getting it on at the Comic Con!Yes that's right, Adam was broadcasting LIVE smack in the middle of the 41st annual Comic-Con in San Diego. If you missed the live streaming video yesterday, fear not, here's the audio! Adam talks to leaders of the New Media frontier and some professional nerds.Guests:Jim Louderback -- CEO Revision 3Marc Silvestri -- CEO Top Cow Comics / Image ComicsScott Riggs -- Sr Director of Radio SlackerZack Johnson -- Creator of Kingdom Of LoathingMC Front-A-Lot -- Nerd-Core Hip Hop ArtistSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam begins by saying that as humans, 'we're not as good at communicating as the devices we've invented for communicating,' and goes on a jag about the difficulties of trying to sell his other house. Donny's mom is his realtor, and for some reason no one was able to clearly describe to him a tree that needed to be removed. Teresa says talking on the phone is difficult, and in fact had to have a second interview one time just so should could appear in person. Adam also talks about recording a podcast at Comic-Con, and discusses his love for nerds. Adam also brings up a strange moment that occurred recently when Adam wanted to call Seth MacFarlane after his mother died. Oddly enough, the phone rang within moments of having the thought, and Seth was on the other line. Adam and Donny discuss the weird timing, and Adam talks about trying to meet up with Seth while they were both in New York. Seth plays much larger venues than Adam does, and he points out that Joel McHale does too. They talk more about rich white people problems, and Adam sarcastically suggests 'Let's keep raising taxes!' In the News, a 12-year-old girl is a hero for using an ipod to prevent a rape. Later, the guy who was arrested for the crime killed himself in the slammer. Adam loves it. Another news story revolves around people who didn't put on their airplane seatbelts, and were treated for serious injuries after turbulence struck. Adam regularly complains about the seatbelt warnings, but his point is that people will ignore them if they want to, and we should stop wasting resources telling people what they already know. The last news story deals with an EMT dispatcher who got his just deserts after ignoring a dying pregnant woman while on his break. 6th season Last Comic Standing winner Iliza Shlesinger comes in studio, and brought her puppy with her. They talk for a bit about being on the show, but Iliza admits she never watched the show before or since. She has some comments on the last story of the news section, and soon she and Adam find themselves politically on the same page with all things American. Throughout the discussion, Adam continually tries to hit on her, but Iliza teases him about looking like a dad. A few rounds of Blah Blah Blog are played (though they did attempt to start it earlier in the conversation), then Teresa jumps into the last part of the news. Snooki is upset that her friends are jealous of her success, and Iliza jokes that the short girls always start the fights. Adam rags on this whole generation of horrible twentysomething girls, and says 'It never used to be this way [...] Now they're stealing our souls.' The final news stories deal with a black family giving birth to a white child, and somebody who tried to steal a McDonalds hamburger. Iliza reveals disgusting news about the McRib sandwhich, and Adam talks about the weirdly racist owner of the Hungarian restaurant he frequents. To find out all the info on Iliza Shlesinger, visit http://www.iliza.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam starts out by saying that his publicists Lynn and Alex were bugging him about doing a bit for MTV online. Adam wrote out the Top 5 things that will replace the internet, based on Prince's recent comments. One of the jokes had a reference to Methadone, but the suits at MTV wanted him to tweak it. Adam goes on a huge rant against the people that limit his creativity, and demands that people investigate the jokes that they don't understand. Larry Miller steps in to help with the news; in this case, another Mel Gibson audio clip has been leaked. Larry jokes that Shakespeare's plays didn't have this much yelling. Adam also recalls that Dr. Drew said Mel is bipolar, and Teresa dives a little more into the psychology behind Mel's anger. It reminds Adam of how his mom and step-dad met at a primal scream encounter group, and he suggests there could be something cathartic about all the yelling. The conversation turns to comments about the death penalty, and Adam says he's thrilled that both of Saddam Hussein's kids were killed by our military. Larry jokes that the people who deserve the death penalty are the people in the parking lot who don't wave and say thank you after you let them take a parking spot. It reminds Adam of his own parking lot woes, and he yells about people who sit in their cars without backing out of their spots. And speaking of cars, Larry and Adam play a few rounds of Hypothetical Road Trips. Dr. Bruce arrives in his scrubs, and Adam says that he is both smarter, and a better doctor than Dr. Drew. Still, he teases Dr. Bruce for having 'good lenses, bad frames.' Teresa asks Dr. Bruce about the types of patients he usually sees, and Dr. Bruce says there are lots of kids with fevers and adults with Vicodin deficiencies. Adam asks for Dr. Bruce's take on his joke about Methadone, but Dr. Bruce doesn't seem to think it's a laughing matter. He says that 'addiction is a complex disorder,' but Adam says Vicodin was over-hyped for him and didn't meet his expectations. The group takes a call from a listener who says he hasn't used shampoo in years and years, and Adam admits he hasn't either. Adam says the entire hair care industry is a 'multibillion dollar scam for rich whitey,' and proves it by pointing out there are no bald bums. Dr. Bruce points out that there are cultural practices to take into account, but Adam isn't hearing it. Nor does Adam want to hear about Dr. Bruce's second-hand/third-hand smoke study. Adam complains about bus fumes and leaf blowers, and says that people are hypocrites when it comes to showing concerns about what ends up in our lungs. Dr. Bruce also brings up a story that children can't understand facial expressions of disgust until they turn five. Adam jokes that he doesn't interact with his children anyway, but then recalls a cute story about his daughter swimming in the pool. They talk more about the neuroses of the next generation of children, and Adam sarcastically asks how his generation managed to survive drinking tap water and eating peanut butter. Teresa brings the show to a close by asking Dr. Bruce about the new show he is going to have on the Ace Broadcasting Network. They still have not decided on a title, but the topics will revolve around science and health. Keep your ears peeled for that upcoming Dr. Bruce program, and also be sure to visit http://www.larrymillerhumor.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

To begin, Adam discusses why he doesn't like the ACLU, or any other group 'that started with the best of intentions and went a little nutty.' He also reviews the John Cusack film 2012, and wonders why it had to be so preachy. Later in the discussion, Teresa mentions Gilligan's Island, 'a celebration of the intellect.' Adam applauds the show for its cunning use of hammock humor. The first part of the news revolves around the Top 5 Mel Gibson Mockeries. They listen to the Mel Gibson-Miss Piggy mash-up, and Adam says that anyone with a computer and the Internet can make something, so this will never end. Adam recalls the joys of yelling at a coworker, and says that we should stop focusing on Mel Gibson yelling, and instead focus on whether or not he actually did anything to physically harm anyone. Other news stories deal with Rachel Uchitel's involvement on Celebrity Rehab, and Whoopi Goldberg embarrassing herself on The View. Teresa jumps into another bestiality story, this time about a guy who told the vet he had relations with his dog. Now he's facing charges, and lawyers say he was just making a joke. Teresa says it's like joking about a bomb at the airport-you just don't do it. Something else you shouldn't do is lie when you're not really sick. In this case, a former Teacher of the Year nominee is facing felony charges after lying about having an inoperable brain tumor. Make A Wish got involved, and Adam reveals what his dream would be. Everyone plays a round of 'Will Angie Eat It?' a game left over from the radio show, where five foods are listed off, and everyone has to guess if producer Angie would actually eat it. All of the foods are absolutely delicious by most people's standards, but Adam points out that Angie is especially picky and has 'wild inconsistencies' in her preferences. And speaking of food, today's guests are two representatives of the current LA Food Truck war going on in the southland. Forget the roach coaches you grew up with, now all the food trucks are selling high-end boutique stuff. The parking space availability is supposedly upsetting the local restaurants on Wilshire Blvd., but additionally they're quite concerned with the competition. A local politician has taken to the cause, trying to ban the trucks from parking in the area. Guests Natasha and Matt see it as a restriction against the people's right to compete. Adam goes on a major rant about the politicians who are currently destroying the city of Los Angeles. As he puts it, 'Vote these fucking idiots out.' He also gets incredibly angry about stupid laws like one hour parking, and how 'the one thing [the city] actually pulls off is the one thing that removes money from your wallet.' Teresa agrees that she doesn't understand the other side of the story, but we're not hearing from them anyway. Matt talks more about the fight against the tyranny of freedom and ice cream, and Natasha talks about her made-to-order deluxe ice cream sandwiches. Sound delicious? Find out more at:http://www.eatcoolhaus.comhttp://www.twitter.com/coolhaus And join the good fight at:http://www.socalmfva.comhttp://www.twitter.com/socalmfva Special thanks to Calbi BBQ truck for feeding us!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens the show by discussing a recent poop-filled walk with his dog Molly. Teresa jumps into the news and talks about Mel Gibson's team trying to get him into rehab. Adam points out that Mel had already played the 'finding Jesus card' way before he needed it, so perhaps rehab will help. Teresa also teases the casting rumors for the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab, and mentions that Tiger Wood's mistress is being courted to appear on a new season of Celebrity Apprentice. Teresa talks about the 'nerd rage' she's seen on message boards regarding free products. She wonders where these people were before the invention of the internet, and asks who has the time to be posting reviews of an iPhone app. Adam talks about how much easier it is to talk trash online, as opposed to in person. The final news stories deal with the BP oil spill, Sherri Shepherd, and a woman in Africa who got pregnant from oral sex. They also discuss a news story dealing with a cop who got fired for opening a bottle with his penis. Members of the supergroup Yoso enter the studio; former members of the bands Yes and Toto. Adam reflects how the two bands had very different sounds, and wants to know how they all came together. In fact, various members of the band have known each other for close to 30 years, and they discuss the formation of the supergroup in a bit more depth. At one point, everyone jokes about mistaking certain song lyrics, and everyone agrees that despite classic musical training, once rock'n'roll came about, it was clear this was the musical direction they wanted to take. When Teresa goes into the second part of the news, she talks about the upcoming cast of Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab. New patients include Jeremy London, Janice Dickinson, and Jason 'Gummi Bear' Davis. Adam says you can't call it Celebrity Rehab anymore, if you have to say 'he's the guy from...' He says he's going to call Drew to discuss the new cast since he thinks it's going to be a disaster. One more new patient is going to be Leif Garrett, and Adam says that he was the only person Adam had to interview twice. 'Heroin is not a good interview drug.' Wesley Snipes is headed to jail for not paying taxes for three years. Adam says thank god he's played characters who've been to jail so he knows his way around. Both he and Teresa agree that sending him to jail is a lose-lose situation. We have to pay for him, and if he's locked up, he can't pay his debt. Also in the news, Erin Andrews is suing the hotel for providing her stalker with information about where she was staying. Even though she was victimized, Adam says the footage looked good. Teresa also agrees that at first she felt bad for her, but after going on Oprah and Dancing With the Stars, it's more like she's 'capitalizing on her misfortune.' Be sure to check out the new Yoso album, Elements (out July 27th). You can also find more information, including tour dates, at www.yosohq.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A special all Mel Gibson version of This Week in This Week with the best moments of the crew breaking down Mel's most memorable lines. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam has a few words with Donny and Sandy about his coffee tasting like Spaghetti-O's this morning. Adam always complains about dirty dishes in the workplace, but realizes now this is his workplace. Teresa is excited about the upcoming Megan's Law game, and also to play the latest Mel Gibson audio. Adam says it's unfair to record a conversation when the other person doesn't know, and wonders why there aren't social boundaries anymore. He and Teresa talk about the impact of technology and the internet, but Adam suggests that Mel doesn't necessarily have to make an apology to the public. Anderson comes into the studio, Adam's former Engineer at Loveline, and now co-host of The Film Vault. Adam takes a series of listener calls for Made Up Movie. You call in with fake titles, and everyone rolls with it to create a story. This week the plots vary from a Twitter romantic comedy to an epic sports movie project for Taylor Lautner. At last the Megan's Law Awards are presented. Prior to recording, everyone handed over their addresses, which were researched online since sex offenders must register their information. Dawson counts down the Top 10 staff members who have the most sex offenders living within one mile of them. After the winner is named, Teresa jumps into the last part of the news, which opens with a story about a sex offender. A middle school teacher accused of having child pornography on his computer has turned himself in. Everyone makes fun of the former teacher's online alias, and also wonder why he'd be so dumb as to turn in the computer to the very school he worked at. Teresa then talks about her obsession with The Guinness Book of World Records. Adam says the only reason it was even remotely exciting as kids was because there was nothing else to do. Still, Adam chimes in with several of his favorite record holders along with Teresa, though he says he doubts children of future generations will understand the book's appeal. Teresa says she read a story about a woman with gigantism that reminded her of the book. Tanya Angus was just a normal girl in her early twenties, but all of a sudden she noticed bizarre growth spurts throughout her body. 10 years later the changes are massive. Previous attempts to help her were unsuccessful, and at this point it is difficult to travel outside of her hometown. Teresa reports that another surgery will take place later this month. Not wanting to end the show on a down note, they talk about Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem being officially married. Bald Bryan asks if this new couple, based on talent and income, is now the biggest celebrity power couple. Teresa proposes it could be a great topic for a future Film Vault episode. To hear any and all episodes, download The Film Vault here on the home site. Or subscribe on iTunes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

At the top of the show, Adam is trying to explain the dry walling process to Teresa. Huell Howser audio clips are dropped in to comment on the thrilling conversation. More audio has been leaked from Mel Gibson's recent rants, and Adam wonders what the world's reaction would be if we found out Mel had a tumor that was affecting his behavior. They talk about people who get blackout drunk, and listen to audio of Whoopi Goldberg defending Mel and saying that he's not really a racist. Adam says we're getting an itchy trigger finger calling people racist, and he wants to make a distinction between people who are talking smack and people who are actually acting on their thoughts. Stephen Prothero comes on the line to talk about his new book, 'God Is Not One.' When Adam asks him his thoughts on religion, Stephen says that he does not adhere to one particular belief system, and is indeed intrigued by the world's many traditions. Adam finds a way to compare religious beliefs to watching old episodes of Saturday Night Live. They talk a bit more about the root of today's current religious arguments, and Adam says that it doesn't work when everyone has their own beliefs. Before Stephen signs off, he takes a few moments to defend the positive attributes of religion that people often overlook. Adam's old friend Rob Barnett comes in studio, and Adam says that Rob is the one who helped him land his radio job replacing Howard Stern. They talk about how Howard would have reacted had he still been involved with terrestrial radio during this economy, and Rob talks about his dislike of satellite radio. He essentially says that programmers 'stopped putting a focus on talent,' and instead they should 'hire talent and let them do what they want to do'. So Rob broke away from the radio industry and started mydamnchannel.com. Adam compares the project to his own podcast, only the website is more of a video presentation than audio. They go on to talk about how the talk show system appeals to the lowest common denominator, and radio is very much the same way. Adam recalls being backstage at a Chicago morning show and the hosts were unable to just 'roll with it'. Rob points out that it's hard work to maintain a show, and he talks about his roots working with a partner to figure out how to get fans and attract advertisers. Teresa brings up the news that New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner passed away. Adam says, 'I'll miss the mock-turtlenecks and blazers.' They also talk about John Stamos filing an extortion case against an underage girl who threatened to release pictures of him doing cocaine. They crack wise about Full House and also talk about the Alanis Morisette-Dave Coulier relationship. Inmates at Lindsay Lohan's jail all say they want a piece of her. Everyone in the room predicts that they won't actually let Lohan into the general population. We find out a bit more about gay inmate politics, and Adam talks about creative prisoners making strap-ons. The final news story involves a guy settling a domestic dispute by rubbing a sandwich into his wife's face, and this reminds Adam of the times when Donny would rub pie into the faces of the women that dumped him. Donny jumps on the mic to defend that it wasn't 'every girl,' and Adam admits to picking the pie off the sidewalk so he could eat it. To hear more from Rob, check out MyDamnChannel.com. And don't forget to pick up Stephen Prothero's new book God is Not One. Or follow him on Twitter @SprotheroSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bald Bryan is back, and there's a busy show up ahead. The opening news stories revolve around cases of domestic abuse. First, a brief discussion about the tragic homicides in New Mexico. Then, Teresa plays several clips from Mel Gibson's latest leaked audio. Adam '[thinks] this is good for Mel. He's now officially insane. All the things he's said before are now seen through the prism of a madman.' Teresa asks if there's anything more maddening than arguing with someone who doesn't participate in the argument. Later they surmise that Mel may be on human growth hormones. Larry Miller comes into the studio, and Adam asks his opinions on the Mel Gibson issue. Larry suggests that Mel is one of the most popular celebrities in the world, he should have juts gotten on a boat with eight girls and ridden off into the sunset. The group listens to more of the audio, and Teresa points out further drama involving Oksana's dentist who didn't report the alleged domestic abuse. To round out Larry's visit, he and Adam play a round of Hypotethetical Road Trips. Then director Jay Duplass sits down. He talks about his new film Cyrus, and how he and his brother originally wrote the script together. Adam wants to know more about producing the film, and Jay goes on to talk about having one of his previous films going to Sundance. Both John C. Reily and Jonah Hill (stars of the film) were massive fans of he and his brother's previous work, and so the film just came together. Jay talks about his early stages breaking into Hollywood, and since their film is mostly improvised, he and Adam discuss 'the purity of the first take.' Teresa compliments the art direction of the film, and also the costumes. Jay talks about shooting the film on a new high-end digital camera, and suggests that actors can tell their productions are filmed in a different ways than most movies. Jay says, 'it's just about continuing doing what we like to do,' and talks about his early influence from The Coen Brothers. In the last part of the news, Teresa talks about a couple celebrities dealing with prison time. Roman Polanski has recently been released from house arrest, and is free to travel anywhere in the world, so long as he's not in a country with an expedition agreement with the US. Adam says we need to enforce our laws, and doesn't understand why we can't just jump into France or Switzerland and go grab him. Jay points out the Manson murders, and Teresa notes how your allegiance starts to shift. Another news story deals with Lindsay Lohan concerned about her upcoming jail time, and also some GLAAD complaints against The View. The final stories involves Harvey Pekar's recent death, and Jay admits he's obsessed with Paul Giamatti, the actor who portrayed him in the film American Splendor. Adam says maybe he'll appear in Jay's next film, and wishes him well in the future. Check out the new film 'Cyrus', in theaters now. And don't forget to visit Larrymillerhumor.com. Or see Larry perform live at The Irvine Improv July 22-24th The Adam Carolla Podcast will be live at The Roosevelt Hotel, Saturday July 31stSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens the show talking about how he just got back from San Jose. He wanted to take a later flight so he could finish writing his book, and ended up barely making his flight because he was stuck behind someone who refused to turn at the left turn light. Adam questions the kind of people who aren't rushing to get to the airport. Adam also complains more about airport security, and thinks it's ridiculous that all of the different airports have different rules. After speaking a bit more about doing the live show in San Jose, Teresa jumps into the news and plays the audio clip of Mel Gibson's racial rant. After hearing it, Adam says 'you have to admire the man's passion,' but Teresa says the recording is 'beyond sexist.' They compare it to the Alec Baldwin voicemail, but they say it's actually worse. They also point out that Mel's career may now be in trouble, and he should have gotten in front of the news the way that Letterman was able to do. Further news stories involve Spain winning the world cup, and also winning records for most yellow cards in a world cup game -- in fact it doubled the old record. Adam recalls the time he saw the Spain crowd was being racist and making monkey noises at the black players on the British team. He jokes that the win couldn't have gone to a nicer team. The last news story deals with a woman whose death had to do with sexual excitement. Adam says, 'she died doing what she loved,' and wonders why we have to disclose all of this raunchy information. And speaking of raunchy information, Mike Lynch (still filling in for Bald Bryan) digs up a couple more Rich Banks songs that were deemed too hot for radio. At this point, Adam's guests arrive to talk briefly about their famous Obama Girl video. Adam asks them how they make money from viral videos, and they said that mostly it just comes from ad sales. Since the election was a couple years ago, they've now been focusing on music parodies. Adam takes a few calls for a segment called Tales from the Cheap, where essentially you call in with stories of your parents being cheap. One man's grandma warmed up tampons that had been rained on just so her daughter could use them. Another was forced to drink Tang out of a mustard bottle, and a final caller had to pay for cheese on his burgers cause his dad wouldn't spare the dime. Adam asks about what kind of bullshit our parents were trying to pull, and wonders if all the extra calories burned was worth it. Jumping back into the news, Jennifer Anniston just got a new puppy. Also there have were a couple celebrity weddings over the weekend, (Carrie Underwood and Martin Lawrence), and Teresa talks about two Pennsylvania burglars with unusual goals in mind. Finally, Dinah Lohan is in the news again defending her daughter's jail sentence. She says that she's angry with the system, and Adam concludes 'she's the monster who created the monster.' To hear more from our guests, check out their videos at either of the following sites:http://www.youtube.com/barelypoliticalhttp://www.barelypolitical.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Writer Mike Lynch is filling in for Bald Bryan today. Adam explains that at one point he worked the sound board, but when he went on his honeymoon, Bryan took over. Now he's reclaiming his rightful place on the SFX board, and he plays several parody songs that he and Dick Banks wrote together once Bryan took over the job. The top news story involves LeBron James deciding to go to Miami next season. Teresa teases Adam about his comments that tall people don't live as long, and they are reminded of their very tall guest Brad Garrett, who was on the show last night. Moving forward, Mel Gibson is in deep water again for several bigoted remarks about latinos, and Adam wonders if maybe in Australian culture, these horrible words don't mean the same thing. Adam concludes that we are actually not as racist in the US as they are in other places in the world, and they all wonder if people will continue to see his movies. After some brief conversation about the Emmy nominations, the guys from Schmoes Know movie reviews return to offer their thoughts on various summer blockbusters. Adam wants to know more about the epic flop of Knight and Day, but the guys say that the failure is not the actor's fault. They also talk about The Last Airbender, and conclude that this could be one of the worst summers for movies ever. There are some bright lights on the horizon, and Adam can't wait to have a marijuana medstrip and go see The Expendables with ESPN's Sports Guy Bill Simmons. Adam takes several calls for a round of Mr. Brightside. One guy recently hit a bum with his car, and another is bummed that he's had to move from San Diego to Kentucky. Another caller is upset that he's about to become a radio co-host with Danny Bonaduce, and the final caller owes a quarter of a million in back-taxes. Adam tries his best to make everyone feel better about their current situations. The last part of the news deals with Lindsay Lohan selling her first post-jail interview. Apparently she won't take less than $1 million, and Adam thinks it's because she's broke. Even though she gets paid to make club appearances, that's not enough to pay the bills. The Schmoes Knows guys offer their thoughts on the new Linda Lovelace biopic that she will be starring in, and before they wrap up the show, Teresa jumps into a double-round of Germany or Florida. To see the Schmoes Know film reviews, visit their page at: http://www.youtube.com/schmoesknow Read more at http://theadamcarollashow.libsyn.com/podcast/page/105/size/15#QpAzCCllbEAMkE9O.99See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After talking about our cultural differences with Guatemala, Teresa jumps into the news. Lonnie Franklin, Jr. is also known as the Grim Sleeper, and has allegedly murdered at least 10 hookers. Adam says this is why you don't give your kid a Jr., and also says that the killer gives mechanics a bad name. The DNA was gathered from a discarded slice of pizza, and Adam says, 'Information won't rob us of our civil liberties, unless we did something wrong.' He talks about the evolution of information technology through sports, and Teresa agrees that DNA evidence mostly just exonerates people. Michael Lohan is in the news again, this time for causing problems at a Saddle Ranch restaurant. Adam talks about how Lohan is a bit of a fame whore, which transitions into a discussion about recent podcast guest and former Bachelor star Jake Pavelka. His ex-girlfriend recently whored herself out on TV, just to say that Jake is a fame whore. Other news stories involve Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough. When Brad Garrett comes into the studio, Adam talks about his recent experience being on 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.' When Adam first agreed to do the show, the producers sent him a disc to watch as an example, and it happened to be Brad's episode. They both agreed that it was fun to do the show, but secretly Adam was terrified of freezing up on an easy question. Brad jokes that he got to pick the kids who helped feed him the answers. They talk a bit about the Brad Garrett Comedy Club, which just opened at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas. He and Adam talk about doing standup, doing impressions, and also working with Ray Ramano. Brad is clearly very happy that Ray continues to have success on TV, and Brad is also experiencing success on his show 'Til Death'. Brad says he misses and loves stand-up, and it's been great designing his own comedy space and watching new performers blow everyone away. After a few rounds of Hobo Power, the show jumps into the rest of the news. LeBron James and his mother are being sued for allegedly covering up the identity of his natural born father. The man claims that he impregnated LeBron's mom when she was 15, and slowly put the pieces together. No one on the show thinks they look related. At the end of the show, Brad teases Teresa about her own Hobo power, and the conversation turns to sex and marriage. Adam says that women shouldn't fake their orgasms every time, and Brad flirts with Teresa about her own sexual habits. He also talks a bit about his previous marriage and divorce, and how it's always rough on the kids. Wrapping up the sex talk, the final news story involves a Dutch porn star who's offered blowjobs to all her Twitter followers if Netherlands wins the World Cup. See Brad Garrett perform monthly at his new venue at The Tropicana: The Brad Garrett Comedy Club.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Coming back from the long weekend, Adam talks about how much he actually enjoys going to the beach. He talks a bit about going to Jimmy Kimmel's 4th of July party, and both he and Teresa love how the lower-income areas usually set off the fireworks before it even gets dark. Adam also talks about fireworks during soccer games, and discusses his love for ESPN's 30-for-30 series. The news goes into a series of stories revolving around troubled relationships. There's Terri Horman, the woman who allegedly hired someone to kill her husband, and then there's Jake and Vienna, arguing on national television during an emotional breakup. They also talk about Jesse James' ex wife Janine trying to get custody of their kids, and the story of a 91-year-old widow who exhumed and lived with the corpses of her husband and sister. Dr. Drew steps in the studio just in time to talk about Lindsay Lohan. She's recently been sentenced to 90 days in jail, and 90 days of treatment. Dr. Drew talks about addicts who just aren't into recovering, and agrees with both the judge's decision, and the spirit in which the sentence was given. He says that jail can be helpful, but doesn't necessarily think it will be enough in Lindsay's case. Reminding Adam of his old MTV days, he recalls the time he and Dr. Drew had to fight for bleacher seats at the MTV movie awards. Teresa asks about casting rumors for the next season of Celebrity Rehab. Dr. Drew says he is on call to start the next season at any time, but even he is unaware of who is actually going to be cast. Adam and Dr. Drew then spend some time talking about their own families. Dr. Drew is worried about his wife's pending empty nest system, and Adam continues to show concern over his daughter growing up to hate him. Dr. Drew is fascinated by Adam's relationship with his kids, and recalls the time his daughter faked a poo-poo to get out of a hug. Towards the end of the podcast, Adam and Dr. Drew take listener calls to give relationship advice. One caller noticed the girl he's dating has been shown in an 'ex-girlfriends' porn website. Another is concerned about being a compulsive liar. Adam talks about his inability to lie growing up, and hails the glory of medical marijuana strips. Finally, a caller suggests he has a problem dating religious women, and Adam is reminded that cult leaders do it to bang hot chicks. Listen to Dr. Drew regularly on Loveline, and see him appearing as the doctor on MTV's Warren the Ape. You can also follow him on twitter @DrDrewSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A sound cue from Bald Bryan right at the top of show gets Adam talking about whether or not George Jetson is gay. They get Isaac Hayes take on the situation, and Adam does his best to stand up for straight guys without coming off as being uptight. Teresa then jumps into the news and talks about a series of older women who have recently experienced problems after giving birth at such an old age. The next news story deals with a homeless man named Darrell Bess who was found naked with stolen cheese. Apparently he also had DVDs on him as well, and Adam talks about how poor people have to work ridiculously hard to fuel their drug habits. It reminds him of his dad checking old music records out at the library. He wonders if all the back and forth effort was worth it, and couldn't he have just bought it once? Playing a track from Dion Warwick, Adam recalls a rough drive home from Las Vegas when his girlfriend broke up with him. A cease and desist case has been brought against ThinkGeek.com for claiming that Unicorn Meat is the other white meat. Think Geek issued a very sarcastic response, which Teresa gleefully reads out loud. And speaking of legal issues, Michael Douglas is in the news because his ex-wife is demanding profits from the new Wall Street movie that's coming out. It's really a question of whether or not a sequel is the same thing as a spinoff, and Adam fears that this case is going to open a can of worms in the entertainment industry. Missy Suicide comes into the studio to talk about SuicideGirls.com. The website features pin-up style photos of girls who 'choose to commit social suicide and not fit in.' Missy got started in 2001 after realizing the girls with the most personality were really the most beautiful. She talks about marketing the idea, comparing it to burlesque star Betty Page, and also talks about filming the new reality horror movie Suicide Girls Must Die. Before the final section of news, Adam and Teresa take several calls for a few rounds of Made-Up Movie. Basically you call in with a fake movie title, and everyone riffs on it to create a story. Along the way, they create new vehicles for actors like Ice Cube, Carlos Mencia, and Reese Witherspoon. Afteward, Adam spends a long time talking about what a doofus Jon Gosselin is for getting a huge tattoo on his back, and everyone jokes about the Kmart Shoplifter who stole 44 pairs of underwear. They talk about Rob Lowe's memoir that's coming out, which claims that he's been an actor for 40 years. Adam doesn't like when they say that and you're only 42 years old. You can't say you've been acting since you were two if you were just held on stage as an infant. The final news story deals with Bachelor star Jake Pavelka, who was recently on the podcast. Adam says he's a nice guy, but questions the type of person who claims they want to find love, then reveals they're just trying to further their acting career. Suicide Girls Must Die is out now, and check out all the great pictures on SuicideGirls.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Teresa's got a drink in her hand, and Bryan is at the ready with the sound effects. Adam immediately jumps into what a white town Irvine is. The people at the gas station trust you with your credit cards, and even the bathroom was clean! Adam gets in a few rounds of What Can't Adam Complain About, and Teresa reveals an interesting bathroom habit she has for her first dates. Later they talk with Isaac Hayes about the afterlife. The top news story is Mel Gibson's latest racial slur. His baby mama Oksana Grigorieva has audio of various racial rants, and also threats of him burning his house down. Adam thinks it's hilarious when people weave insults into their backhanded compliments. Either way, the NAACP is not accepting an apology. When Adam asks where Danny Glover comes down on all this, Bryan says he's too old for this shit. After a story about Tori Spelling's husband, Dana Gould comes onto the program and talks about his recent trip to China. He says that there is a one-child policy there that heavily favors boys, so they adopted a baby girl. Dana talks about the weirdest thing he saw in the city, and also talks about how his daughters are reacting to the newest member of their family. Dana also says that 'Asian chicks are off limits now.' Wiping his new daughter's poop, he can only see the same image on the women he sees on the street. The boys also crack wise about homeless dogs and transvestites. For a segment of Huell's Jewels, the whole gang does running commentary while clips from Huell Howser's PBS program plays in the background. Between clips, they pause and talk about what they just saw. Most of the conversations on the show itself are painfully boring, but everyone has a great time tossing out jokes about rocks you can lick, and the Bagdad Cafe. Teresa attempts to do the second bit of the news, but Dana and Adam keep jumping in with chauvinistic jokes and comments about Elena Kagan's confirmation process ('not jerkable'). Eventually we hear the story of Germany man on a train arrested for having an Adolf Hitler ringtone, but somehow they go off topic and end up talking about porn and accidental 'mangasms'. The last set of news stories deals with a judge in Ohio who got mad at a man for spitting on his jury. He punished him by forcing him to wear a diaper and mosquito net over his face. Teresa next news story involves the sale of an interesting looking couch, but Adam explains he does not want a used, 'fully functional' vagina couch. Adam recalls the old days when people would just sell normal shit. They talk about the fact that Tiger Woods is about to be single again, and even though he and his wife had a prenup, speculations of how much money Elin Woods will get in the divorce are sky high. The final news story revolves around Sean Penn's new movie about a surfer who quit his job and took his kids surfing around the world. Dana is already very familiar with the story, and says it's exactly like Sean's last movie, Into the Wild. To hear more from Dana Gould, visit his website at: www.danagould.com Or follow him on Twitter @DanaJGould As always, Bryan is at www.aninconvenienttumor.comAnd Teresa is at www.exploitingmybaby.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This Week in This Week: -Adam talks about his trouble while Tivo'ing Entourage -Guest Funny Dave Dameshek asked the crew about whether they believe in heaven and hell. -Comedian Rich Shydner from the movie "I Am Comic" talks about selling comedy to Jeff Foxworthy -Guests Dietrich Bader and his wife Dulcy sit in for a round of Totally Topical Tivo Trivia Time Today -Adam shares his thoughts on the Supreme Court nomination hearings. -Adam talks about his troubles with daughter Natalia and the history of the Carolla women and their dads. -Alcoa presents "Definitely Not a Jew" -Adam talks about more trouble with Natalia.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bryan isn't feeling so great after another round of chemo. It reminds Adam of the time he had a yeast infection and had to go to the Santa Monica free clinic. He says the place was staffed with 'angry lesbians [who think] your junk is the enemy.' Teresa says the clinic on Vermont is even worse. Adam says he's going to have an uncomfortable conversation with his son to warn him about the dangers of heroin and lube.Adam recalls a conversation he had with recent guest Diedrich Bader about who has the better Trader Joes. Diedrich also asked Adam what the name of his kids' school is, but Adam had no idea. It sends him off on a rant about how he shouldn't have to know the name of the school since he's paying for it. Teresa also points out that it's ridiculous that we have to participate even though we're paying, and she mentions a Super Freakonomics story that blames our bad school systems on feminism.Jumping into the news, Elena Kagan is already being challenged while she's being sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice. One particular female senator clearly didn't have a question prepared, and attempted a joke about the Twilight series. Adam says that all these politicians need to realize 'you're not funny, keep it brief, stick to the business at hand.' He also points out that the Twilight series is the 'Biggest cop-out in the world ... with werewolves, we're ripping off two movies now.'Teresa recalls Adam's slogan for prevention of STDs in Africa: 'Cum on the tits.' She says there's a new South Africa rape prevention device for women that essentially works like a female condom with spikes. Once a man is hit with it, there's no way to remove the teeth without going to a doctor, at which point they'll be arrested. Adam thinks it's a good idea, but is worried that the rapists will counter with a Kevlar condom. And speaking of sexual abuse, the final news story revolves around Ferris Bueller star Jeffrey Jones, back in the news again for forgetting to register as a sex offender.Hot Hot Heat is brought in studio, and right off the bat Adam asks if they're Canadian. They talk a little bit about decriminalizing marijuana, and then Adam asks the band about how they formed. They go into more detail about stories on the road, particularly the state of the bathrooms while on tour. It reminds Adam of the time he revoked podcast announcer Dawson's bathroom privileges for peeing on the toilet seat when two urinals were clearly open.The band goes into why it took so long to make their newest album, Future Breeds. Apparently they were unsatisfied with their label, and so they decided to build their own studio and produce the album on their own. Adam draws comparisons to the Radiohead self-released album, and also to his own podcasting career and how he would never want to go back to radio. Hot Hot Heat refers to this type of independent spirit as 'Freedom and Rebellion.' Adam asks the band something he's never asked another band before: do you think you're better than other bands? Overall, the band seems unconcerned with how they compare, and instead are just focusing on their own music and reaching 'that meditative state on stage.' They also talk about bands they've opened for that have really impressed them, like Queens of the Stone Age or Modest Mouse. Adam says he saw Third Eye Blind live, not so great. Wrapping up the show, Adam and HHH exchange brilliant ideas: if the band will cover Focus by Hocus Pocus, Adam will record a commentary track for The Room.Hot Hot Heat will be going back on tour in August. In the meantime, grab their new album Future Breeds, and find out more information at: www.hothotheat.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam welcomes Frances Callier and Angela Shelton to the studio, the comedy duo also known as Frangela. They regularly appear on VH1's Best Week Ever, and Adam marvels at their ability to work together. He says, 'Comedians hate other comedians. Women hate bitches. Women of color may hate each other even more.' They say they're friends first, 'thick as thieves.' They met in Second City, Chicago, an area well known for improv. To sum it up nicely, Frances says, 'Nothing is more painful than bad improv.' They talk about people who preplan their improv and deny every offer given to them. Adam calls it 'comedy polio' and compares it to having a shitty dance partner. Adam starts talking in 'Sassy Urban,' and soon they start talking about the 1970s classic show 'What's Happening!!' Adam dissects each character and laughs about the cameo The Doobie Brothers make in season 4. Adam mentions previous guest Michael Jai White, and the girls laugh about their 'very urban' crushes on Billy Joel and Bob Newhart. Francis and Angela go through their early experiences being separated and trying to make it in LA. Adam compares it to living with Donny, and he flashes back to his battlecry of 'clean or leave' to any ladies staying in their apartment. It reminds him of his days working at McDonalds, working his ass off in leather shoes and burning the BigMac buns. Soon the conversation moves to a discussion of a utopian world with one globe and no borders. Adam says we need to stop shipping food to Africa and start sending condoms instead. He also says, 'we're way too into the sanctity of life,' and decides we should 'bulldoze all those assholes' that are stopping us from creating a world where 'everyone takes care of their own shit.' They talk about the people who don't do such a great job raising their kids, and he ties it into the Menendez Brothers case. All the talk about intra-family murder reminds him of the Mafia and the John Goti crime syndicate, and the conversation wraps up nicely while discussing the idea of wanting to be famous and 'being a fame whore for any reason.' Adam explains how ten years ago you wouldn't go on Oprah to announce something that will bring you shame. 'Now we embrace it, I don't get it.' You can catch Francis Callier's voice every week on The Cleveland Show, or also both Francis and Angela via podcast on 'The Week According to Frangela'. Check out their website: Frangela.com Produced: Beth Einhorn Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam welcomes the stars of youtube sensation Schmoes Know to the podcast. The guys are here to talk about summer blockbusters, and Adam immediately jumps into fake enthusiasm for the release of Marmaduke. He tells a hilarious story about getting Sonny to recognize Owen Wilson's voice in a commercial, and Adam makes some predictions about various scenes that will likely appear in the movie. The Shmoes Know guys say they review a lot of movies based on viewer choice, in addition to all the major releases. They've also started reviewing trailers, and you can check all the videos out at youtube.com/schmoesknow. They say the trailer for MacGruber is actually pretty decent (The R-Rated trailer at least), and Adam admits it's a good genre the skewer. They also get into a discussion comparing Pixar films to Dreamworks animation, and Adam goes on a side jag about popcorn-proof 3D glasses. Adam says, 'we have to make a distinction between movies you need to see in the theater, and movies you don't need to see in the theaters.' Shmoes Know says that they're sure to tell viewers to rush out and see certain movies. Something like Iron Man 2 or How To Train Your Dragon, you definitely want to experience in the cinema. They also speak a little bit more about trailers, and Adam warns that trailers where they don't actually show footage from the film 'is a marker for 'this movie sucks.'' Unfortunately someone in the group has not seen Showgirls, and so Adam recreates one of the more controversial scenes in the film. He does all of this with the visual of Yanni acting in the scene, and the guys go on a tangent about needing a Mustache hall of fame. Adam spends some time defending the new Sex and the City movie, however he says the latest Indiana Jones had no excuse. The guys also talk about the new Karate Kid, and Adam makes a claim that Will Smith and his family are taking all the good white roles. They speak about comic book movies, the terrible new Ashton Kutcher movie, and why he thinks Katherine Hiegel is on the exact same career trajectory as Kate Hudson. In the end, they say that it all 'keeps coming down to right director, right writing.' They wrap up by excitedly talking about the new Stallone movie, The Expendables. Adam says that, as a writer, Stallone is terrible. 'His dialogue is out of a bad textbook-'I don't know who to trust anymore' 'I used to know you'... if you saw it on a page, you'd say 'wow this is really shitty.'' The Shmoes Know guys say they don't care about the dialogue, just the explosions. Check out more Shmoes Knows reviews at: www.Youtube.com/schmoesknow www.Facebook.com/schmoesknow See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam welcomes CEO of Watchmojo.com Ashkan Karbasfrooshan to the show, calling in via Skype from Montreal, Canada. He describes his website as being like about.com, but in video format-the site has almost 6,000 short form videos on every topic imaginary. 'You name it, we probably have a video on it'. Adam and Ash discuss how more and more consumers are switching to the internet, and that there's actually been a threefold growth in the last 18 months to prove this. Adam marvels how you used to go into the other room if you needed to check something on the internet, but now that everything is being combined, we're sort of right on the border of not having to leave the room anymore. Adam says 'we're really gonna kick into high gear over the next five years I imagine.' Ash breaks everything down to a dichotomy between those who embrace the new media and those who don't. Adam also talks about the ability to fast forward through commercials, and so advertisers need to find a way to incorporate their products directly into the show. He also says that advertisers have to have more compelling ads. He points out that he stopped for a Dos Equis commercial because he genuinely likes those ads. Ash says, 'you can't really rationalize advertising,' and gives Vanity Fair as an example since they seem to survive solely on social relevance. It reminds Adam of seeing magazines at the hair salon, and he complains that they never have magazines for guys. 'Don't dudes get their haircuts??' Adam asks Ash about Montreal and he says it's a great city like San Francisco, and very European. He says in general that people are not quite as business oriented in Montreal as they are in the US, and Adam wants to know more about why they aren't as motivated. Ash mentions Canada's smaller population and says that it's 'in your DNA in the States to compete.' Adam agrees, saying 'everybody in the United States is a hustler,' but he doesn't mean it in a bad way. Ash says that on average, if you took 100 of each culture, Canadians are not going to be hustlers the way Americans are-again, not in a bad way. He talks about selling his first company to Newscorp, and now that watchmojo.com is taking off, Canadian companies are worried that he'll go with an American company again. Whenever he asks them what they have to offer, they say nothing. Adam invites Ash to come visit in person next time he comes to LA, but in the meantime definitely check out watchmojo.com. Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Katie Levine Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam opens with the show with a rant against airlines and airport security. Traveling around to do live shows, Adam was plagued with misplaced luggage, occupied storage space, and not being able to break in the terminal when he wanted to. Adam wants to know what's with all the 'unprovoked cuntiness' from the people who work the airlines, and Teresa surmises that 'people who are attracted to those jobs aren't that nice to begin with.' Jumping into the first news story, a woman in her 20s went to court wearing an inappropriate shirt and was held in contempt of court. Adam points out that you can do what you want in the privacy of your own home, but 'you affect other people by what you wear [in public].' Adam says he wants a dress code for an airline, just as they do at restaurants and clubs. This reminds him of a story where Donny got busted wearing jeans to the Magic Castle. Other news stories include revelations about the hormonal impact beautiful women have around men, and also how Adam's joke movie idea of 'Pedif Isle' could become a reality. Douglas Hughes is running for CA governor, and has suggested we move all convicted sex offenders to an island off the coast. Adam says, 'we should spread this out to other offenders, like Car Jackers Island.' All the pedophile talk reminds Teresa of the time she was almost molested as a child. Comedian Kyle Kinane steps in, here to promote his new CD, 'Death of the Party,' and also to announce his first headlining weekend in Georgia this weekend. The whole group agrees that comedy clubs need to come up with names that are not embarrassing for the comedian to say. 'At least treat what we do with respect.' Teresa jumps right back into the news to talk about Jesse James, and everyone discusses the validity of sex addiction. Tila Tequila has signed up for Celebrity Rehab, and Adam says he strongly dislikes the hair streaks and tattoos she has. He says, '[Tila] falls into the new breed of woman that adorns the pages of these Japanese tuner car magazines. I don't know what the race is, but it's a sort of Eurasian thing.' Kyle jumps in-- 'It's like a slutty clown, you really couldn't look more unnatural and unreal.' They all agree that the look doesn't feel sexual, it feels aggressive. The final news stories deal with the passing of Brittany Murphy's husband, and also a hit-and-run accident at USC. After Adam's daughter Natalia makes a guest appearance, the group talks about how Simon Cowell was rated the most powerful person in reality TV. Adam doesn't get why what he does is so special, as anybody can do his job. He says to Teresa, 'Nobody judges like me. I'm judging the way you just said 'you never stop judging.'' Finally they all cringe that Paula Abdul is returning to the air as another Reality TV judge. Kyle Kinane's CD can be purchased at Amazon or iTunes, and he can be reached at: Kylekinane.com Twitter.com/kylekinane Or search for his name on Facebook. Tour dates include: May 28-30 @ Funny Farm, in Roswell Georgia. June 1 @ Hollywood Improv, June 6 @ Comedy Store in Hollywood Teresa's site: Exploitingmybaby.com And Friday's Parent Experiment podcast will feature Adam Carolla! Bald Bryan asks you to check out his podcast, The Film Vault. This week: Top 5 Sex Scenes Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Band members Scott Weiland, Robert DeLeo, Dean DeLeo, and Eric Kretz are back as Stone Temple Pilots releases a self-titled album today (May 25th). Adam asks them what brought them all back together, and it seems an opportunity to play at the Coachella music festival is what re-sparked the flame. Unfortunately they had touring conflicts, and so Paul McCartney filled in instead. They give more background on how the band came together, and when they finally started playing music 1988, it was evident they had something very special. They started touring around California, and by 91 they were in a recording studio. They said their big break was in 92, but just before recording their first album they heard a demo cassette of Nirvana's first album, and it blew their minds. They were concerned their career may have been over before it even began. When they released their first music video, the credits were not in the lower left corner as they typically are. They also began their tours by opening for Megadeath, and apparently the crowd was not too happy to hear them play. When the song Plush came out, people finally started coming out to see their shows. Adam asks them more about their lives on the road, and if it's good material for writing songs. Of course it's ripe for material, and they also joke about other cliche rock songs that appear on most albums. They mention that this is their 6th album together as STP, and that there are really no side projects either. Adam asks if they can tell which songs are going to be hits, but they point out sometimes the record label chooses the singles for them. Wrapping up the conversation, they talk about the origin of the band name, and also explain that at one point they were signed as Mighty Joe Young but had to change the name. They talk about getting back in the studio after all these years and that 'pretty much everyone was just tired of [playing the greatest hits over and over again]. You don't want to feel like you're punching the timeclock to get on stage [...] The only way to avoid it is to write a new record.' Of course all throughout the podcast you can hear samples of several tracks off their new self titled album; and as Adam states, the band is back in full form. Check out their new album, available today (May 25th), or visit their website for more information: www.stonetemplepilots.com Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Donny Misraje Build and Edit: Donny Misraje Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Actress and friend Sarah Silverman is on to promote her new book, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. Be sure to visit our sponsors at audible.com, and you can purchase of the copy of the audiobook, as read by the author herself. Both Sarah and Adam grew up as bed wetters, and they share their humiliating stories of having to deal with the shame. Adam is reminded of all the shame he felt as a child. When he broke his friend's cheapo badminton equipment, he was too intimidated by the scary dad to say anything. Similarly, he recalls always under-ordering when someone would take him out for fast food. He and Sarah agree that the kids who were raised by intimidating parents have grown up to raise their kids to be to be pussies. Inevitably those children will grow up and raise their kids to be intimidating and the whole cycle starts over again. They jump back into more bedwetting stories, and Sarah explains how her parents would walk her in the middle of the night and even splash water on her face to wake her up. It reminds Adam of peeing in the sink, and more specifically of the time that Bobcat Goldthwait approached him on a commercial set and told him he named his cat Adam Carolla because he's a sink peer as well. Adam talks about his upcoming book, and wants to know what the recording process was like. Sarah says it's less painful than you'd think, but still took 5 sessions of 4 hours each. She asks Adam if he thinks he'll be reading his own book the way that she did, and he says he'd probably have to, otherwise the reader will fuck up all his jokes. Sarah has a brilliant idea: Have Patrick Stewart read for you! Sarah starts talking about how grown women behave badly on reality TV. Adam says that at least when you see two guys fighting in the octagon, they hug each other at the end of the match. Sarah says there is 'women on women crime,' and that they don't help each other out, which is really weird. Adam points out that reality TV programming is based on envy or disgust. 'All TV is, is really, 'Don't you wanna be this?' or 'Aren't you glad you're not that?'' And speaking of television, Sarah Silverman's show was recently cancelled. She's fine with it, they're ready to move on, and Adam points out 'Part of the great thing about our job is getting to do something new all the time.' The two commiserate over TV advertising departments, and Adam points out a specific example of an ad campaign for The Jimmy Kimmel show that everyone EXCEPT Jimmy got to approve. They take a listener call, who asks them what they think of therapists. Sarah claims to have found a great therapist, and says that she likes him because he loves what he does, and he's interested in people and relationships. She offers some of the better advice she's heard, which is to not stress about future things that haven't happened yet. Sarah says, 'I'm paraphrasing something Jesus said, but if you don't deal with your shit, it's gonna come out in fucked up ways.' Adam's therapy theory: even if you have a mediocre therapist, just the fact that you're going is a good thing. Grab a copy of Sarah's book at any bookstore, or off amazon.com. Or better yet, visit our sponsors at audible.com and have her read it to you! Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Katie Levine Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam introduces Steel Panther band members Michael Starr, Satchel, Lexxi Foxxx, and Stix Zadinia. They all have a laugh over names with double entendres, and Adam says his new favorite is Harry Seward. He actually had someone page that name at the airport. Adam remembers seeing the band when they were known as Atomic Punks, a Van Halen tribute band. In fact, the band broke up at one point and eventually reformed as Steel Panther. The reason for the split? One of the members broke one of the two main band rules: no sleeping with the other guy's girlfriends (the other rule? No pooping on the tour bus.). Now reformed as Steel Panther, their latest record is called Feel the Steel. Some of their influences include Cinderella, Motley Crue, Ratt, and Van Halen. Adam points out that if you're in a tribute band, you have to technically be better than the original band because you're not afforded the same leeway that they are. Steel Panther wants to know what Adam considers to be the key difference between Tribute Bands and Cover Bands. Adam says that cover bands cover a multitude of songs, but with tribute bands, you know up front the type of music you're going to hear. They discuss various tribute band names, like Tall and Oates, or Small and Oates, and they also say that AC/DC has the most cover bands of any other band. Ultimately the band concludes, 'You can call us whatever you want, as long as you give us money.' Adam says that Hall and Oates have a lot of shitty songs, and that Steve Miller is 'wildly overrated.' He points out that if you take singers who you hate and realize that they have good songs, odds are they were written by other people. Steel Panther has a lot of experience dealing with singers who can't sing, and so they go into a long riff talking about the various celebrities, athletes and rock stars who have joined them onstage. Soon enough they bring the live show to the podcast by busting out the acoustic guitar. They jump into an impromptu singing of Lick It Up by KISS, and they also perform a hilarious 'unplugged' version of their song Girl From Oklahoma. The guys continue riffing on pop and rock stars from all different eras. Adam points out that CC Deville 'looks like a Jewish woman from Long Island going through menopause,' and the band says that Ashlee Simpson was the most difficult person to get up on stage because it was right after the infamous SNL lip-synching debacle. On the positive side, the band says Pink is real deal, as is Chester Bennington of Linkin Park fame. Finally the guys talk about bubblegum pop hotties like Ke$ha and Avril Lavigne, who Adam wants to bang mostly to wipe the smug smile off her face. Adam invites everyone to see Steel Panther live. 'It's more than just a show, it's an experience.' Upcoming tour dates include stops in Texas, Las Vegas and San Diego, but be sure to visit www.steelpantherrocks.com to get the full schedule. Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Gary Smith Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam welcomes writer/producer and creator of the hit HBO series Rome, William MacDonald. Just before starting the podcast, William was telling Adam about his P-51 Mustang, one of his favorite planes. It reminds Adam of the time he met Tom Cruise at one of Jimmy's football gatherings, who owns and flies the same model plane (only tandem). Adam says 'the greatest celebrity freakout of all time would be if Tom Cruise just started strafing Hollywood and Santa Monica blvd; loaded up the 50mm and just went nuts [...] I don't think any celebrity could ever outdo that.' At one point William was engaged to Sharon Stone, and they both discuss her unique personality. This reminds Adam of other notoriously hard to work with actors like Val Kilmer and also Gary Busey. William says he had no problems with Val on the set of The Saint (which he produced), but Gary would often have to switch hotels because he was so intense. Adam and William begin talking about how Rome is being turned into a movie, and The Saint is being brought back as a new television series. Adam wants to know how these HBO shows with their huge budgets actually make their money back. William says, 'It's event programming to induce subscribers.' He goes onto explain (summarized): 'People will drop HBO for a period of time, but will resign up for a specific show. Band of Brothers, Deadwood, Rome, you'll see a big spike in the viewer subscriptions, and then it will taper off at the series finale. And then the great profits come from DVDs and boxed sets.' Adam unveils a surprising fascination with the Sex and the City series and movies, but afterward he wants to know how accurate the series Rome is. William says at one point he described it as the Sergio Leone version of Rome. You can't exactly say everything is accurate since we weren't actually there, but instead the series focuses on authenticity. Most of the daily rituals they portray are exactly as they were, and they go into a deep conversation about the importance of Roman aqueducts ('manipulation of water was the key to their power'), advanced surgical methods, and the danger of parasites. It reminds Adam of the island campaign in the HBO miniseries The Pacific. William says his dad was actually a combat surgeon on Iwo Jima, and they talk a little bit about the controversy surrounding POWs and internment camps. This morphs into a larger commentary about the atomic bomb, The Rape of Nanking, and essentially how as a country we have done some things that may not be looked at in the best light, but surely it's not as terrible as other countries atrocities. Bringing the discussion to more contemporary issues, they also talk about the Arizona border issue and waterboarding. Adam is sick of all the whiners and asks, 'What's the plan? You can't just shit on everyone else's plan.' To end the podcast, Adam takes a couple listener calls regarding movie questions. First, Adam rips into the new Queen Latifah film Just Wright, saying 'This looks like a concept and a poster that would be on a wall in a movie where you were making fun of guys who made movies.' Then he and William agree that the Oscar selection process has gotten considerably better over the last couple years. William gives Adam permission to call him Bill, and Adam says 'You gotta see my movie. It's not an upbeat Rape of Nanking type film, but it's got its moments.' To see more of William's work besides Rome, look for The Saint towards the beginning of next year (probably on TNT). Coming soon after that, a 10-part mini-series about the Carroll Shelby / Enzo Ferrari rivalry. Produced: Donny Misraje Audio Board: Chris Laxamana Search: Katie Levine Build and Edit: Katie Levine Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After a quick plug for our sponsors over at audible.com, Adam compliments Teresa on her late 60s swingin look today. She's wearing Daisy Dukes, which reminds her of the news that actress Catherine Bach's husband recently committed suicide. It reminds Adam of a different story; when Donny approached Catherine at a party to pull a piece of lint off her sweater. He thought maybe they'd start a conversation, but she gave him a 'what the fuck' look and turned back around. Talking more about drinking and hogging, Teresa mentions that she likes how Bret Michaels will have sex with just about anyone. Adam explains that while some guys are wired to be attracted to attractive women only, 'some guys are wired to have sex like they do in the animal kingdom. Like a wildebeest.' It's a 'Pussy First' mentality, and not important if the woman is attractive, it's just a matter of 'who got laid last night? Smell of hands.' Unfortunately, Adam's pilot did not get picked up. He says, 'I now realize there are one or two at the top that are shoo-ins, one or two on the bottom that are dead on arrival, and then there's like five or six in the middle and I never really thought about the middle part [...] That's where you get burned.' He goes on to explain (summarized) 'When I heard that news, I thought good. You can all look forward to a show. Not the Adam Carolla Podcast, but the Adam Carolla Show. We're going whole hog.' He also reminds everyone to purchase tickets for the next live show at the El Portel in North Hollywood on June 12th. Teresa mentions the first news story: Charlie Sheen may wind up behind bars for 45 days for his attack against his wife Brooke. Now the attorney's want to know: can Charlie smoke in prison? Adam says we should put him with the lifers, since second hand smoke kills and they're on the way out anyway. He also goes on a rant about the ridiculousness of having a bruise on the upper arm considered abuse. Jake Pavelka, of Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars fame, enters the recording studio. After discussing the thrills of dancing in his underwear, Jake also mentions that he is a jet flight instructor. Teresa says she would love to learn how to fly, but Jake compares his job to being a lifeguard. You watch the planes and help out if things go wrong. They talk more about flying and how all the airlines are overregulated. Adam thinks it's amazing that he can't bring an unopened Coke can onto the plane, but a huge heavy steel tripod gets by no problem. Teresa says if she had her baby and her bottle, she could not go through with the bottle. Adam wonders, 'the terrorists have won, right?' Teresa asks Jake about his romantic life, and he goes on to explain how his heart was broken on The Bachelorette. Adam says 'I remember liking you because you were a pilot, and you were clean,' which according to Teresa is why they brought him back for The Bachelor. Jake responds, 'I thought it was because I cry all the time.' Adam goes on to suggest that 'Women don't want a cry baby, but they don't want a man who never cries either [...] Crying is like the Derringer in the boot.' After wrapping The Bachelor, Jake says his status with Vienna is going great. They're looking for wedding dates, and both of their careers are in full swing. The plan is to bounce back and forth between their house in Dallas and their apartment in LA, but Adam also wants to know if he's been approached for any bootlegged porn opportunities. Jake jokes that actually Larry Flynt left him a message. You can follow Jake on Twitter at: Jakepavelka1, or check out his Facebook page (the one with him in his pilot uniform). Teresa can be heard more on The Parent Experiment, or at exploitingmybaby.com. Bryan is on The Film Vault, and his Twitter is baldbryan. Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adam welcomes Jay Louis, author of Hot Chicks with Douchebags and creator of the website hotchickswithdouchebags.com. It's a topic Adam says he has long been obsessed with, and the guys immediately jump into the false claims of women wanting a guy with a sense of humor. Looking at various pictures, they define the douchebag look as 'I am fucking stupid and wildly confident at the same time.' Adam wants to know: 'How did you get so confident when you are so fucking stupid?' Other telltale signs include barb wire tattoos, or Chinese letter tattoos on the neck. Adam and Jay compare the situation to the war on drugs. The douches are the drugs, chicks are the consumer, and the tattoo is the drug mule. No wall is too high to stop people from getting what they want, and it's not the tattoo shops that need to be closed down, it's the women blowing the dudes with the tattoos. Adam wants to know, 'Where are these guys' friends?' He relates a story of wanting to emulate someone he saw wearing black cowboy boots. Adam went out and bought them, but before they could even step outside, his buddy Ray put him in his place and told him not to go out looking like that. A caller wants to know how Jay deals with these idiots all the time. Jay says, 'Smart people have an obligation to mock stupid people [...] It's easy because I see it as a civic duty.' They go on to describe another type of douchebag that Adam considers even worse: The artsy hipster douchebag. At least the Jersey Shore douches work out and have good biceps. Hipsterbags, with their vintage clothing and their pouting all the time, aren't even trying. Adam says that their 'douchenite' (a la Kryptonite) is their Senior Picture. 'If we saw what you looked like in high school, there's no way you'd be trying to pull off this fuckin look now.' He knew a guy who, after graduation, turned into Gary Oldman from Dracula. When he saw him at an industry gathering, the Gothbag avoided him at all costs. Jay also remarks that it's a metamorphosis, and that 'you don't get laid unless you pick one of these six 'bag' identities.' Jay says we need to have 'douche-terventions' where we set the girls down and explain what's up.' Adam asks, 'What about the women who sit back idly and watch their girlfriends date douchebags? Where's your voice? This is what happened in Germany in the later 30s.' A caller asks Adam about his Top Gear pilot, which transitions into Jay talking about the frustrations of having his own pilot picked up. He says 'VH1 knows what they did,' and goes on to explain how after he chose to go with MTV to produce his show, before the show could get to air, VH1 ripped it off, making his own show look like the rip off. Agreeing with the aggravation, Adam points out 'part of it is how good is your show; part of it is how good is your timing.' Adam encourages Jay to keep the good fight going, and from one non-douche to another thanks him for his time. Be sure to purchase Jay's book, or visit the website: hotchickswithdouchebags.com Produced: Donny Misraje Audio Board: Chris Laxamana Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Michael Jai White, writer and star of Black Dynamite, visits Adam's studio today. His film is an homage to 70s Blaxploitation movies, so the guys immediately begin discussing 70s stereotypes and cheesy movie tricks. Adam recalls scenes from The Six Million Dollar Man and says, 'I shoulda known I was gonna be a comedian when I started complaining about this shit at age 10.' Michael reveals that for some of the car stunts in his film, they actually took stock footage from Sony pilots that never aired. Eventually Sony bought the movie back, but Michael jokes it's probably get the rights to their stock footage back. Adam reveals his idea for The Pilot Network. 'Wouldn't it be fun to watch everyone's shitty pilot? [...] The networks already spent the money on the show.' After speaking more about the success of Black Dynamite, both locally and overseas, Adam asks him about Kentucky Fried Movie. He remembers watching it with Donny on VHS over and over again, and they share laughs about their favorite clips from the film. Michael loves 'Fistful of Yen,' Adam loves 'Cleopatra Schwartz.' Since Michael is now beginning to direct, Adam says 'You're gonna be the funny Tyler Perry.' Adam says he saw Diary Of A Mad Black Woman and thought it was not even good enough for a TV movie. Michael also compares it to a black soap opera, but since he has worked with him, he says Tyler Perry works his ass off. Adam suggests 'he should take his time and just work on one funny script.' A caller from Wilmington, North Carolina reminds Adam of the time he was filming Dawson's Creek while simultaneously working on Love Line. He was absolutely exhausted, and the person who called in was the person who actually had to keep waking him up to drag him to set. Michael says there must be something strange about Wilmington. Steve Buscemi was stabbed there once during a fight, Michael's entire crew was jumped, and even he got into a fight which he hadn't done in a long time. Adam remarks that part of the beauty of Black Dynamite is that Michael is unrecognizable in his performance. Michael is glad for this because it allows him to act dramatically in other films without it being distracting. They talk a little bit about the brilliance of Leslie Nielson, who delivered ridiculous lines in his completely self-serious tone. Other comedic inspirations for Michael include John Cleese, Peter Sellers, and early Steve Martin. The last portion of the podcast is dedicated to Michael explaining his rough upbringing, and how he eventually broke into Hollywood. Growing up in Brooklyn, he had to be a 'closeted Monty Python fan.' He was a tough guy who got into a lot of fights and grew up fast. Eventually a motivational speaker came to his high school and convinced him to go to college. Even to this day, he goes around returning the favor by being a motivational speaker and teacher himself. Adam relates to having a fractured family, and they go on to speak about the irresponsibility of absentee fathers. Adam asks why people turned on Bill Cosby when he told people to pick up their pants and start raising their kids right. Michael says that as long as some people actually listened and changed, it was worth it even if there was a bit of backlash. To wrap up the convo, Adam offers to hold the focus pads for Michael since he's a martial arts expert. Also be sure to see Why Did I Get Married Too (now in theaters), and purchase Black Dynamite, now on Bluray and DVD. Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Katie Levine Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rob Hubel and Paul Scheer, best known for their work on Human Giant and Funny or Die, return to the show. Last time they were on they discussed whether or not they thought Michael Jackson was gay, and then a day later he died. They also talk about other celebrities and their sex scandals, and of course they mention Tiger Woods. Apparently one of the ladies that came forward is a stripper who now dances wherever Tiger is playing to capitalize on her fame. Rob and Paul think that in order to make golf more exciting, they should infuse MMA. They imagine a miniature-golf style game where Kimbo Slice stands on the green trying to block the ball and you have to fight your way out of that hole. Adam says 'you know you have a boring sport when comedians and couch potatoes are making suggestions to make it better. No one says that about hockey and football.' Speaking of adrenaline packed sports, Paul explains that he recently saw bullfighting at the Garden. He describes it as 'Two hours of crazy, crazy, crazy action,' but Adam points out that the 'Danger-to-Pussy ratio' for rodeo clowns is pretty awful. They propose rather than fighting world wars, we should just have a 'Running of the ____' where you fill in the blank with whatever group you need to hash things out with. Adam recalls a story of entering a pie eating contest. He explains that he was poor and hungry so he signed up senior year for an eating competition. He didn't actually participate in the contest, instead he just waited for everyone to finish eating, then he tried to take his full pie, grab a glass of milk, and enjoy it at a leisurely pace. Of course the teacher screamed and yelled at him for it. The guys wonder how the people who participate in an actual eating contest, and how it affects your body. How do you train for that? Paul answers by asking 'how does a girl train for a gangbang?' After much discussion about the intricacies of the rules, Adam declares 'We're all super intelligent, highly educated individuals, and yet, we have no answers. Do you have to bust a nut? Can you get a blowjob? Can a guy double up and come back twice? What about the gorilla masks? The point is this: we don't know. Gentlemen, the reason we're having this conversation is the reason we need a sanctioning body.' After taking a couple phone calls, they begin talking about how all the major comedians they know are nice guys. Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, Ben Stiller... they say all of these guys were self-deprecating, and so they know what it's like to be a normal person. Someone like Justin Bieber has girls trampling all over each other just to be with him. 'How can you be humble?' Adam points out that usually it's the entourage surrounding the star that is worse. He tells another quick story about doing work on Katey Sagal's house and having her assistants blow everything out of proportion. They compare the situation to Kim Jong Il, who is surrounded by people commending his every move. They wonder what sort of grizzly things Kim Jong-Il's slaves must do for him, and Adam wagers you can tell the state of a country and how evil its dictator is based on how many posters they have of their leader up. Since at the top of the show they determined they are partially responsible for Michael Jackson's death by talking about him, Adam wonders which star they talked about today might get burned. If Bieber gets killed by a bull or dies in a bukkake incident they'll feel very guilty. Eventually they start questioning whether or not Richard Dawson is alive or dead. He's still alive, but Adam says he could be next. Keep your eyes peeled for Paul Scheer on The League, coming back this fall to FX. Rob Huebel will be on Childrens' Hospital on Adult Swim this summer and Funny or Die Presents on HBO. And reach either of them via Twitter: @PaulScheer and @RobHuebel. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Meghan Daum is the author of 'Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House,' a new memoir about real estate addiction and her struggles to find her dream home. She and Adam were first acquainted several years ago, after she wrote what Adam considers to be the nicest opinion piece anyone has ever written about him. Later she will read the column, as she brought it with her. Both Meghan and Adam are self-proclaimed Houseaholics. Adam tells a story about potentially trying to by Madonna's old house, even though he knew the price was way out of his price range. He walked around the place, trying to figure out how to get $7 million and how he could stall to make sure he'd get the property. Eventually he realized just how wildly expensive it was, and truthfully he wasn't even going to live there. The idea was just to get it, rent it, and get half the mortgage back. Meghan's husband works for the LA Times, which she says is 'bankrupt, but chugging along.' Adam wants to know if it's going to be like the Hollywood sign, or if as a society we'll just let it die out. Meghan corrects Adam saying the Hollywood sign itself has never had a problem, but Adam clarifies and says they were gonna build houses around it, which people were not happy about. The situation reminds him of the Beachwood Canyon area, where people wanted to build a curb and fountain leading up to the corner store. It was a huge controversy, but Adam doesn't understand why we give a shit about these things when nothing ever happens. After explaining his desire to constantly fix things, Adam tells the story of his grandfather's grand piano, which at one point had roofing tar dripped on the side. The piano ended up at his sister's house, and after still seeing the tar dried on the side, Adam took a hair dryer and butter knife and finally scraped it off. He points out that it'd been on there for 50 years, and it took him 4.5 minutes to fix. Meghan goes into more detail about her housing pet peeves, more specifically bad flooring. Adam invites her to his house to look at his floors, and Meghan jokes she's already camped outside his front yard. Adam says that in general if you want something done correctly, you need to ask questions. He compares the situation to wanting a leather punching bag with a water bladder inside. Apparently they don't make those, but Adam was able to make his own custom designed one by taking pieces from two separate bags. Before Meghan reads back the opinion piece she wrote on him, Adam says he never reads. He explains, 'Not reading other people's ideas has freed me up to create my own ideas [...] I feel like their ideas pollute my ideas, I don't wanna know what they're thinking.' Meghan reads the article, which bills Adam as an American genius. They also talk more about remodeling houses and designing them in a way that doesn't make them look totally trendy for a brief moment. They go into a side conversation about politics and lying. Wrapping up the show, Adam reminds Meghan to come by the house and see the floors, and Meghan is understandably thrilled to check them out. Be sure to purchase her new book, 'Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House.' Audio Board- Katie Levine Build and Edit- Logan Moy Search computer- Chris Laxamana Produced- Donny Misraje See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.