A Podcast for Coaches

Coaching Session with Joyce: Money Mindset & Relationship DynamicsEpisode SummaryIn this coaching session, I help "Joyce" explore her beliefs around money, particularly how she feels responsible for meeting her "wants" while relying on others for basic needs. The conversation evolves from financial concerns into deeper relationship dynamics around desire, communication, and self-betrayal.To hear my follow-up conversations with Joyce, start a 30-day trial of Office Hours with Mark.Timestamps[00:00:00] Introduction; Joyce identifies money as her top concern[00:01:00] Joyce explains her core belief: she's responsible for providing her own "wants" while relying on others (previously her father, now her husband) for basic needs[00:02:00] Discussion of Joyce's interest in coaching as a potential income source; feeling pressure to earn money for things her husband's income can't provide[00:03:00] Joyce's conflict between entrepreneur vs. employee paths; observation of her father's entrepreneurial experience[00:04:00] Mark asks Joyce to clarify what she considers "needs" versus "wants"[00:05:00] Joyce defines her values: holistic health products, personal development, travel with family[00:06:00] Discussion of financial trade-offs; Joyce mentions feeling they don't have cash for her "wants" without incurring debt[00:07:00] Mark compliments Joyce on framing the decision space well; suggests making vague desires more specific[00:09:00] Joyce reveals it's more about the feeling of financial freedom than specific purchases[00:10:00] Mark shifts focus to Joyce's relationship with money; asks why she feels the need to hold onto money[00:11:00] Exploration of Joyce's financial security fears; Mark guides her through worst-case scenarios[00:14:00] Discussion of safety nets (family, church) that make true destitution unlikely[00:16:00] Mark observes that Joyce's real fear is embarrassment/shame about financial struggles[00:17:00] Joyce connects this to her identity of being financially independent; pride in never asking family for help[00:18:00] Mark asks Joyce to share her thoughts about people who've made poor financial choices[00:20:00] Discussion about whether spending money is foolish; Joyce notes it depends on alignment with values[00:21:00] Conversation about grocery budget tensions between Joyce and her husband[00:23:00] Mark observes husband's conservative financial approach; Joyce feels they've reduced expenses as much as possible[00:24:00] Joyce explains she wouldn't put her income in "the family pot" but would keep it separate for "extras"[00:26:00] Discussion of financial decision-making in the marriage; Joyce has deferred to husband on major decisions[00:28:00] Mark asks how the couple discusses desires and wants; Joyce says such conversations get "slapped with reality"[00:30:00] Joyce describes difficulty maintaining an abundance mindset when her husband operates from scarcity[00:32:00] Mark suggests framing as relationship challenge rather than money problem; recommends conversation approach[00:34:00] Discussion about connection without agreement; Joyce notes husband's behavior doesn't change despite listening[00:36:00] Mark emphasizes importance of honest desire without self-betrayal or relationship conditions[00:38:00] Joyce realizes she keeps desires to herself to avoid negative emotions; Mark notes this reveals deeper relationship disconnection[00:39:00] Discussion of next steps; Joyce recognizes she's gone as far as she can without involving her husband[00:40:00] Mark emphasizes that greatest potential is achieved in relationship, not alone[00:41:00] Joyce acknowledges she can only ask and offer; Mark cautions against using assumed resistance as an excuse[00:43:00] Mark suggests Joyce explore job options to clarify what she wants; session wrap-up

I alternate between awe and terror when I work with Claude. One minute I'm watching 5,000 lines of code appear like I'm in The Matrix, the next I'm having existential panic about robots taking my job.As coaches, we're not far behind software engineers. There's no reason to think a client couldn't eventually reach many of the same insights with Claude that they would with us. Pretending otherwise does us no good.So what's our best option? Stay at the leading edge of this technology. We can use AI to spot language patterns in session transcripts, create low-friction summaries that cement insights, and help clients integrate their learning between sessions.New technology is inevitable. The winners will embrace it; the losers will yell about it, complain about it, or pretend it doesn't exist.

You Are Not Your LabelI've noticed a concerning trend: clients who filter their experience through diagnostic labels rather than their actual thoughts and feelings. They're essentially "othering" themselves, asking "Does this fit my diagnosis?" instead of "What can I learn from this experience?"While labels offer comfort (I've felt it myself with ADHD), they risk becoming prisons of consistency. A client who can't get through five minutes without referencing their diagnosis is using it as both explanation and excuse.As coaches, our job isn't to categorize clients for our own comfort. It's to emphasize agency through thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—things clients can actually change.I'm not saying abandon frameworks entirely. Personality tests can be insightful! But keep them secondary, not primary. View clients developmentally (what can they learn and become?) rather than pathologically (how do we fix them within their diagnosis?).Remember this fundamental truth: You are not your label. You're a complex individual with capacities beyond any diagnosis.

In this episode, I explore two fundamental coaching approaches that impact your practice's financial stability. "Hygiene coaching" serves clients who view coaching as essential maintenance—like brushing and flossing for their thoughts and relationships. They renew consistently but relationships eventually end naturally. "Repair coaching" serves clients who reach out only during acute situations—positive breakthroughs or challenging crises.The most sustainable practices blend both approaches, similar to dentistry. Dentists build predictable income through regular cleanings while accommodating emergency repairs. They reduce friction by scheduling next appointments while you're still in the chair.For coaches who rely on practice income to support their families, predictability matters. We need financial stability to keep our attention where it belongs—on our clients, not on our bank accounts. The goal isn't just stable income, but creating an environment where you remain happy, healthy, and clear-headed for decades of service.To discuss topics like this one, network with other coaches, and get support directly from me in running your practice, consider joining my Office Hours membership: https://officehourswithmark.com.

In this episode, I explore the territory of superiority - that place where I position myself as right, evolved, or "above" while seeing others as wrong or behind. This pattern emerges most in emotionally activated moments, when I'm feeling insecure or fearful.For me, superiority manifests as becoming a well-spoken, fast-talking bully, using my natural ability to rapidly process ideas as a weapon rather than a tool for connection. Through coaching and my patient wife's feedback, I've developed awareness of the physical sensations that accompany this pattern.Practical strategies like 24-hour processing periods with Kate and creating intentional space in client sessions have been transformative. I no longer incur the internal penalties of superiority as often, though the sneaky internal voice of criticism still appears.For coaches struggling with superiority (and many of us do), I recommend regularly checking: "Was I being superior or collaborative in that interaction?"The goal isn't perfection but awareness and correction when we slip.

In this episode, I share a new hypothesis about how coaching practices can get full without spending too much time or money pursuing clients. I've reduced my ideas into a simple mantra: "As I spend time in spaces and with people I enjoy, always working to be more interested and interesting, coaching clients will appear."I break down how this approach relies on confidence, curiosity, and patience rather than anxious, desperate chasing. The goal isn't trying to "get clients" but rather investing deeply in areas that genuinely interest you, developing hard-to-ignore perspectives (often through productive disagreement with conventional wisdom), and creating a practice that feels good now and will feel good later.If you'd like to create a sustainable 5-15 session per week coaching practice without exhausting yourself in the pursuit of clients, this episode, I think you'll enjoy what I have to say.If you'd like support and community around these ideas, consider joining my Office Hours community:https://officehourswithmark.com

Most months I start with no idea who will hire me. That uncertainty creates anxiety, even though I've learned to manage it well.Here's what helps: While my practice feels unpredictable month-to-month, it's actually quite predictable year-to-year. In the past three years, I've rarely had a month with zero coaching transactions.I've found that reducing uncertainty comes down to nurturing three types of relationships:People who already trust me in a coaching context (past clients, podcast listeners)People who like and trust me, but not yet in a coaching contextComplete strangers who might eventually become clientsThe coaching transactions that happen this month won't be random or "out of the blue" – they'll be the natural outcome of relationships planted and nurtured days, weeks, or even years ago.So yes, coaching is an unpredictable business. But by nurturing relationships, we make the unpredictable parts less volatile.

My friend Chantel Allen uses personal practices like "the hour of silence" to calm her mind, heal her pains, and prepare herself to coach her clients in the way that feels right to her. I brought her back on the show today to discuss how coaches can serve their clients better and grow their practices through doing the inner work. To find out how you can with with Chantel, join her waitlist here: https://www.chantelallencoaching.com/waiting-listHere's a GPT-generated outline of the conversation: 1. Coaches Often Focus Too Much on Providing Answers Instead of Asking Questions: The episode discusses how coaches may feel the need to prove themselves by giving advice and answers, rather than facilitating deeper client insights through powerful questioning and active listening. 2. The Impact of Unresolved Personal Issues on Coaching: The conversation explores how unresolved personal challenges in a coach’s life can unconsciously affect their coaching, causing them to project their own need for validation onto their clients. 3. The Shift from Hustle to Heart in Coaching: Mark and Chantel highlight the growing importance of slowing down and focusing on internal work and connection, rather than obsessing over external achievements and hustling to gain clients or success. This shift in mindset leads to more genuine and impactful coaching.

In this episode, I talk about an experience with a friend in high school that shaped my love for listening. She shared the details of a tough season in her life, and then thanked me for the way I listened to her. I know this isn't a unique experience, but it's my first memory of realizing that just paying close, compassionate attention is a way to connect with people. Now that I'm a coach, I believe listening is our most important skill, and one we can develop through careful practice and repetition.

Along with a few other ideas about what numbers a one-on-one coach might want to track in order to keep the practice healthy.

Part of the appeal of a one-on-one practice is that its hard parts aren't as hard as other business models (like "scalable" training), and its easier parts are even easier (and more happiness-producing) than other models.

Coaching can be a utility the client views as a semi-permanent part of their life, or a luxury they view as a special one-off event. Both approaches offer great experiences for both coach and client, but the the choice to be a luxury or a utility will inform the rest of your strategy, so it's worth a careful look.

The best coaching is an invitation to productive pain in pursuit of the reward on the other side. Today's episode inspired by this essay, shared with me by my coach, Liz.

Kristen Boss's coaching business started in 2019 with pajama-clad Facebook lives at 6am. In the five years since, she's generated millions of dollars in revenue -- mostly using the launch-based marketing and sales model. After she listened to episode 19, she offered to come on the show to talk about the high highs and low lows she's experienced as a launch-based coach. I'm grateful Kristen would share her story in such an honest and vulnerable way. Kristen serves network marketers, but I think new coaches would be wise to check out her work: https://kristenboss.com

Paula Engebretson coaches people with an ADHD diagnosis (or ADHD tendencies). Since I know she has ADHD, and since I may or may not be a member of her target audience, I've been surprised at how consistently she publishes her newsletter and podcast. People like her (me) are not supposed to be as reliable as she is. But she shows up like clockwork. I asked her to come on the show to talk about how she does it. My key takeaways were:1. Why Paula won't take on a project unless it's a "full-bodied yes".2. How her personal mission keeps her motivated.3. How my own lack of consistency probably stems from #1 and #2.Connect with Paula:I'm Busy Being Awesome (website and podcast)

I've been wondering whether a membership model would be the best way to set up a practice space for coaches (discussed a few episodes back). You may not know that between 2009 and 2012 I ran a membership with a partner that had as many as 1,700 members. About seven years ago I recorded a retrospective of the whole experience. Today I listened to it and, although I don't agree with everything I said in 2017, there's a lot of gold in it. Today I thought I'd share it with you.

Two weeks ago I went to Tennessee to speak at an event hosted by my friend, Edie Wadsworth. This week, Kate (my wife) taught some classes at a church camp for young women. We both loved our experience, and it reminded me of one of my most important lessons from over ten years in the world of coaching: there's no substitute for being in the same room as the people you want to serve.

I've recently taken a walk through dozens of coaches' websites and social media profiles. I found many of them are just like me: we tend to forget, ignore, and/or abandon our web presence. I've finally admitted to myself this makes me harder to trust and engage with. This episode talks about why this is an issue and how to fix it without too much work or expense.

You may feel like you're working as hard (or harder) than your peers but not seeing the same (or any) results. This episode explains what I think you're experiencing, what you can do about it, and why I'm confident you'll succeed in the end.

As we grow our practices, it's helpful to know the big picture (what I call strategy) and the specific actions (tactics) that flow from the big picture. But if we don't know ourselves, we'll look to coaches and communities to tell us what to do and why and how to do it. This is not ideal.

Although I don't care much about certifications (see last week's episode), I believe strongly in the benefit of supported practice for coaches. We can elevate individual coaches and the whole coaching community by creating spaces and times in which coaches practice, correct, discuss, and support each other.

Twenty years now since I started doing money stuff online, and the urge to create a course still creeps up on me. Let's talk about it, and let's make sure to work in some Prince Bride references.

There are good reasons and bad reasons to pursue certification(s) as a coach -- up to and including becoming a licensed therapist.

I realize the episode title is a corny bumper sticker. But people, including coaches, are not being nice to themselves. It's getting in the way of the growth and progress that brought us to coaching in the first place.

I like last week's episode but it didn't feel quite right. Today's episode rounds out some of my ideas/suggestions/hypotheses for how group coaching could go from being a good thing to a great thing. Enjoy.

A few of my thoughts on the kind "group coaching" I'm accustomed to seeing in my coaching community. I'm not strongly against it; I'm not strongly for it; and I think what we call group coaching would be better delivered separately as either one on one coaching, group facilitation, or classroom teaching.

Coaching is a totally unregulated industry...which is exactly how we like it. With no governing body to create or police our interactions with our clients, it's up to us to define and adhere to a set of ethics that support our clients' safety and progress. In this episode I describe my own simple framework for feeling like I'm running my practice with integrity.

Coaches can feel trapped in the way of being they learned in training -- especially if they were trained in a dogmatic community. My friend Chantel is an example of a "rule follower" and a "striver" who started her practice doing everything by the book. As she realized the tools she learned first were good but not perfect, she kept learning, kept evolving and, in her words, "falling apart" as she pursued the best approach for her and her clients. You can find Chantel at her website.

This is the story of a teen in pain receiving support from a great coach. By itself, this is wonderful. This episode explains how a chain of relationships introduced the teen to the coach, even though some of the people in the chain didn't know the teen, and others didn't know the coach. Mutual trust and relationships built over time brought these coach and client together. This is the magic that matters.

If the coach is the product, personal development is the most important business strategy. This should come as a huge relief.

In 2017 I published a podcast episode railing against launch-based selling. In seven years, my opinion hasn't changed much...but a wise client has helped me open my mind (a little). In this episode I talk about the practical and psychological factors that make launch-based selling so brutal, and I also share some ideas (based on that wise client's input) on how it could actually be a pro-relationship, sustainable approach. Who knew.

My friend Jesse Mecham is the founder of YNAB, a company that helps people love the way they spend their money. I asked Jesse to come on the show to talk different kinds of coaching and training he and his team use. Jesse shared a few big insights, including:1. He's happy to pay for expensive coaching for members of his executive team.2. Every employee at YNAB has a Training and Development budget they can spend on books, courses, and conferences.3. Jesse was a member of a "CEO club" whose structure is ideal for coaches who'd like to connect with the leaders high-revenue companies.4. There's a well-established market of high-income people who are happy and excited to pay for all kinds of coaching and training. This is a good one--it's always nice to get a civilian's positive perspective on the power of coaching.

Trainings (and certifications, and, I guess, "masterminds") can be powerful and transformational. They can also be the place where coaches' dreams, hopes, confidence, and personal balance sheets go to die. Rather than produce a multi-hour philosophical analysis of the coaching industry (some day, some day!), today I'll just talk about how those who are offered training and those who offer it can end up with better results, fewer regrets, and maybe not so many irate people on Reddit.

As coaches, we are the product--our skills are the product. The question is how do we become more skillful? In this episode, I suggest that the deliberate, patient practice of listening without an agenda is the key skill in coaching and that this skill, by itself, and boring as it may seem, makes us appealing and attractive to those whom we hope to serve.

"She could coach you." That's what my wife, Kate, said about Amber Smith after meeting her. Kate has never said this before or since. (She knows many wonderful coaches, but not many who can wrangle my chaos in a coaching session.)I've known Amber for a few years. I like her and trust her. Our philosophies align. I'd happily refer a close friend or family member to her for coaching, and I'm grateful to have her as a conversation partner on the show.In this episode, Amber shares a story about "creating a client" in a completely service-oriented, non-transactional way. It's pretty great.You can catch up with Amber on Instagram (@itsambersmith) and her website (itsambersmith.com).

I'm not sure my fellow coaches realize how simple it can be to fill--and keep full--a coaching practice. I'm not saying easy--I'm saying simple. In this episode I outline a marketing hypothesis built on the power of creating and nurturing a growing list of "maybe" relationships.

This episode almost seems pointless, because of course coaches make money. But, after a decade in this business, I'm in a position to speak to the psychology of the person who wonders if it will ever work/if it will keep working. And I also helpful, non-dramatic data, so let's get into it.

I look at my 2023 coaching practice through four lenses: 1. The workload.2. The relationships.3. The money.4. The marketing. It was a good year for my practice. Looking forward to more of the same in 2024.

After starting her coaching practice in 2018, my friend and client Melisa Liberman (host of the Grow Your Independent Consulting Business podcast) threw herself into a cold-emailing, spam-driven approach to client acquisition. She completed hundreds of consultations with people who didn't even know they were IN a consultation. She failed a LOT. But during all those failures she learned to give service, to provide answers, and to give value to the people she was talking to. She also started building relationships. Those relationships created opportunities for speaking to qualified prospects, which in turn led Melisa to become a preferred coach for employees of one of the biggest companies in the world. I love Melisa's story because she showed such persistence and determination in getting herself into conversations with people she hoped to serve. She's a great example to me, and that's why I wanted to bring her message to you. You can find Melisa on her podcast and her website, MelisaLiberman.com.

I don't do sales calls where I explain my "program", make an offer, overcome objections, and close the sale. There are tactical/practical reasons and there are ego reasons. I'm not promoting this as the "right" or "best" way to do things. I think my personality, my circumstances, and my typical client (coaches) all make this easier for me. I also think this approach results in me making less money than I could if I did things the "normal" way. So these ideas may be limited in their application, but I still think they're worth discussing.

My friend Josh is a brilliant relationship marketer who happens to be a lawyer. In this episode, I interview him about his journey from spending a huge chunk of his monthly revenue on ads to spending nothing on ads while having his practice generate more revenue and more profit than ever. I'm especially excited for him to tell the story of spending two years nurturing one referral relationship--a relationship that started with the referrer telling him they'd probably never send clients his way.

I don't believe a person pursuing a one-on-one coaching business can fail unless they just stop trying. That's not naive optimism, either. Human nature and market realities are on our side, and in this episode I'll do my best to convince you how hard it would be for you to fail. I'm excited about this one.

My practice is "full" for the first time in the nearly 15 years since I started coaching. This is true in spite of the fact that there've been periods in the past where I had many more clients than I'm currently serving. See, "full" is only possible when you establish an inventory that can become "sold out". And now that I'm "sold out", I'm in a position to share insights such as: the new level of confidence I feel (not surprising, but worth discussing), the impact on my 2023 business plans (including the fact that I'm planning at all, which I never do), and how I'm dealing with the inevitable pull toward "scaling".

There are a few ideas I've heard in conversations about pricing one on one coaching: 1. The price your clients pay determines a) how your clients will engage with your coaching, and b) how much your clients will benefit from your coaching. 2. The price your clients pay proves how much you value the coaching you give your clients (and, sneakily, how much you value yourself). Yes, pricing can reflect our clients' commitment and our confidence. But I think the judgmental view (is the client serious? am I worth it?) sets us up for frustration. This episode introduces two new ideas: 1. Price as a strategic lever in a coaching business. 2. Using both price and coaching "inventory" to build momentum in the business. It's good. Give it a listen.

One on one coaches are overvaluing facts and undervaluing resonant stories in the content they publish. In this episode I talk about why I think this happens, how to fix it, and and how to avoid a dread-spiral in your content creation that can negatively impact your view of your whole business.

In a one-on-one business, content's most important job is to give people a soft landing into your world. Your podcast, newsletters, and social media posts help people like you and trust you. Your published work helps them increase their desire to escalate a relationship with you. This episode explains how and why content is a powerful but misunderstood tool in a one-on-one coaching business.

Self-helpers and internet marketers refer to use gold mining as their favorite metaphor for the pursuit of success. I think it's the wrong paradigm for a person who's pursuing a relationship-driven one-on-one coaching business. I think gardening is a much more useful framework for our business, and this episode explains why.

I see coaches doing two main types of work: coaching/mentoring and teaching/training. Although these aren't absolute concepts, it's helpful to know in which direction our work is biased. This episode paints a picture of how coaching/mentoring differs from teaching/training, and how your understanding of the difference will help you build confidence and momentum.

I've seen every online business there is, and run many of them myself. In this introductory episode, I want to set a vision for why a one-on-one coaching business should be viewed as one of the best, simplest, and most rewarding ways to make a living. I recorded this episode as the first in a series of six live webinars .