A Moment of Hope

Our Leadership Principles blog series is inspired by David's book "It's How You Play the Game: The 12 Leadership Principles of Dean Smith." If you would like to receive this book, please go here. Loyalty. Defined as "a strong feeling of support or allegiance." Synonymous with words like faithfulness, devotion, dedication, commitment. The law of reciprocity says whatever you give out, you get back. My mom used to say it this way, "If you want to have friends, be a friend!" This law is expressed in God's original intent and design for humanity. You reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7). Draw near to God and he will draw near to you (James 4:8). In fact, Jesus himself said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy" (Matthew 5:7). He knew that if you extend mercy to others you will receive mercy in return when you need it. So if we were to think of the reciprocal law of loyalty in the same way, it would be something like this: if you want to experience the loyalty of others, be loyal. I had the honor to play basketball for Coach Dean Smith at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He was one of the best leaders ever to walk the planet. He instilled so much wisdom into his players that I have carried into my life. In fact, I wrote a book exploring the leadership principles I learned from him entitled, "It's How You Play the Game." Over the next two weeks, I want to share some of the leadership principles that Coach Smith taught me with you. Coach Smith cared more for you as a person than a player. He lived out the reciprocal law of loyalty. He wrote players a personal note every single Christmas. That's dozens of personal letters over 36 years of coaching. He was always available for a phone call to help you, even if you played for him twenty years ago. In his will after his death, he even left each one of his lettermen a check for $200. The letter to each of us told us to have "dinner on me." Do you want to know what made his players play so hard for Coach Smith? We knew how committed he was to us. And we returned that commitment to him on the court. Chances are there is somewhere in your life where you are a leader. You may lead your family, your children, a company, a client, or some other initiative. As a leader, how are you doing with loyalty? Are you devoted? Are you faithful? If you aren't doing these things, today is a new day! You can change and begin to sow seeds of loyalty to those around you. Then watch as you begin to reap what you sow!

by Marilynn Chadwick Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or "dis," has made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to "dis" someone. Or worse, to be "dissed." Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Lofty. It speaks to the precious worth of the person being honored and is related to words like glory, worship or prize. Most of us yearn to be treated with respect. We benefit not only from receiving honor but also from giving it to others. God set the bar low so that even a child can show honor. "Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth" (Ephesians 6:2-3). You might call this the "the training wheels of honor" (Exodus 20:12). When children honor their earthly parents, they begin to grasp what it means to honor their heavenly Father. Perhaps it's time to recapture this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. But let's do so with a sense of expectancy. For God Himself makes this bold promise: "Those who honor me, I will honor" (1 Samuel 2:30). In Genesis 2:18, God created us to be our husband's helper, or ezer, a source of rock-like strength and support. But we can also choose to use that ezer strength to work against our husband, robbing him of strength and confidence. I've wondered whether we've lost sight of the importance of respect. Perhaps a lack of honor could be at the core of many divorces. Honor doesn't just happen. It goes against the grain of our culture. Disrespect, on the other hand, takes very little energy. It's the path of least resistance. Honor is a narrow road. It requires strength and intentionality. I've never forgotten this tidbit of common-sense wisdom from a dear friend who had been married for over sixty years. It went something like this: "Don't be afraid to be the one who loves the most." The same could be said of honor. Don't be afraid to be the one who honors the most. As we have been learning to honor our husbands and restore honor in the home, I want to leave you with this challenge. Dare to take the first step by honoring your husband even before he honors you.

by Marilynn Chadwick "I don't enjoy going to lunch with my work friends anymore," my young friend confided over coffee. "The conversation always turns into husband bashing." Her own marriage wasn't perfect, she admitted. "I'm a very transparent person," she smiled. "So I try to be real. But I don't want to dishonor my husband. And I want my friends to know I truly love being married to him." As we talked, she came to the conclusion that it was okay for her to be honest with her friends about some of her own marriage struggles. She could share a few of the positive ways she and her husband have discovered to work through their issues. But she resolved to do this in a manner that would honor both Christ and her husband. I loved my friend's heart for her husband and for the Lord. Knowing her as I do, she'll be a winsome witness to her friends about what it means to have a godly marriage. And more importantly, what it means to follow Christ. That conversation was just one of many I've had with women of all ages while writing Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. I yearn to help wives reclaim the lost art of honoring their husbands. Perhaps it's time to take a fresh look at this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. "Those who honor me, I will honor" (1 Samuel 2:30). Then, let's explore practical ways to honor our husbands. Remember, the world is watching us. And deep down, I believe they're thirsty for honor - especially honor in marriage. The tone I set in our home when I honor my husband inspires our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world which has largely forgotten this concept, doesn't come easy. It takes practice. I've learned that home is a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us. I believe our world today is thirsty for honor.

by Marilynn Chadwick Dream big together! It's the next tip for learning to honor our husbands. I honor my husband when I share his dreams. When I work to help him accomplish his dreams, my dreams are also fulfilled. Not too long into our marriage, I realized that God's economy is different from mine. When doing things God's way, I often get back the very thing I give away. I help David reach his goals and dreams. Then he helps me reach mine. A wonderful rhythm develops. A mutuality. Together, we've also learned that when we give our life away, especially to the lost and broken of this world, God pours grace and honor back into our own lives. As you dream big and pursue adventure together, you often find heroes in the most unlikely places. Ordinary people living quiet, faithful lives - in my book, these are the real heroes. A while back, David and I adventured to our nation's capital. We met with influential men and women faithfully serving our country. We took tours of the capitol, awed by the courageous faith of our Founding Fathers. Their names are written in history - their impact will last for generations. But for me, the real hero showed up - of all places - in a taxi cab. Our driver was a gentle, friendly man with an east African accent. I noticed the prominent cross on his dashboard. He talked about his 33 years driving a cab. His three kids had all graduated from fine colleges, he boasted, with that dad-kind-of-pride. All had prestigious jobs working in DC. "You must have done some pretty good parenting," I commented. "What's your secret?" "My secret," he laughed, "is America." "In America, if you're willing to work hard, you can reach your dream." "There are some who might disagree," I replied. "Hmmm," he paused, "then they have never lived in another country." See, he had fled the severe persecution of Christians in Eritrea. He went on to say quietly, "People here don't know what it's like to not have freedom." When he was a much younger man, he had been educated as an accountant back in Eritea. But since coming to America, he has worked as a cab driver. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. He was well past his prime. As David and I were on our own adventure as a result of dreaming big together, I knew we'd been with a true hero that day. Someone who dreamed big and provided freedom for his family. And a man of honor.

by Marilynn Chadwick Peace is a priority in our home. A peaceful home refreshes and blesses the family. Today's world is busy and noisy. How can I lighten my husband's load and his heart? Help him have fun? I've learned that simple habits, like taking a day off together each week, honor him by allowing him to be refreshed. We're also intentional about family vacations. Doing so has allowed us to sustain our busy schedules. We find we can then return to the fray strengthened and with renewed enthusiasm. But sometimes, peace doesn't come without a fight. If I'm serious about "waging peace," it helps to know my enemy. You know what I have found is the quickest way to rob peace in the home? Worry. Anxiety can drain my energy and quench calm faster than just about anything. What's more, it's contagious. When the kids were small, if I became worried, they seemed to absorb my anxiety and become fretful. Worry is also exhausting. I agree with a friend who coined this acronym for W-O-R-R-Y: Worry Only Robs Rest from You. Worry says loud and clear that I don't trust God. But when I refuse to be anxious, when I trust God and remain peaceful, I create a climate of peace. I have to confess I grew up as a world-class worrier. There were times early in our marriage when fear held me in its grip. Fear of storms, fear of intruders, fear of illness, fear of flying. You name it - I probably wrestled with it. But I've learned to be ruthless. Through the promises in God's Word, lots of prayer, and putting my faith into action, I have wrestled most of my fears to the ground. I'm not completely worry-free, but I can tell you I no longer feel like a prisoner to fear. These twin invaders, fear and anxiety, can wreak havoc on a home and a marriage. God doesn't treat fear and worry as small things. He tells us to cast all your anxiety on him "because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). He commands us to "have no fear." To "be anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6 NKJV). As with any stubborn problem, the first step is to confront anxiety head-on and call it out for the enemy that it is. We may find that our repentance is soon followed by times of refreshing and revival. And a peace that passes all understanding! Wage peace in the home! Don't worry! Or as I would tell my daughter Bethany as she was growing up, "It'd be better to be dead than to live in dread." I think this fight for peace honors our husbands, and makes life more fun in the process.

by Marilynn Chadwick If you were to ask me what's the single most important thing you can do to honor your husband, I would simply say: Pray for him. Pray like you mean it. Pray like you believe God works through your prayers. And make prayer for your husband a priority. I have seen many wives' prayers encourage husbands who are already following Jesus. And I have seen prayer soften the hearts of men who have rejected God. I am mystified as to why prayer works when words fall short. I just know it does. Prayer is a weapon that can be used to usher in powerful things for your husband's life and for your life as well. Pray with confidence, knowing if you are asking for something according to his will, he hears us (1 John 5:14). My dear friend Jane prayed for years for her husband to accept Christ. He continued to resist the gospel. My friend was wise. She refused to nag. But she did set aside 15 minutes to pray for her husband every morning. I don't know how long Jane prayed for him. But, some time later, I watched in amazement as her husband walked forward to accept Christ at a Billy Graham Crusade in our city. During the invitation, I happened to glance to my right. I was startled to see this man who had stiff-armed God! There he was, wife by his side, resolutely heading to the front of the arena where he gave his life to Jesus Christ once and for all. The ripple effect of that one influential man's devotion to Christ was powerful. The impact he had on his family and community is evident to this day. All because of the quiet witness and faithful prayers of a strong wife. Like my husband always says, "If you don't love Jesus and you have a praying wife or a praying mother, look out - you're toast!" Pray consistently. Pray fervently. Pray like you mean it. Then watch as God moves in the heart of your husband and your home.

by Marilynn Chadwick Deep within the heart of every good woman lives a warrior. Her fierce love can make even the most timid woman do courageous things. Watch out for a woman who is fighting for someone she loves. I have discovered that honoring my husband in today's culture requires me to fight for him. We have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriage. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also against our own selfish tendencies. Sometimes the best way to fight to honor our husbands is by going against the grain of our flesh. As I do this, I resist a worldly mindset that degrades and disrespects marriage. My friend Ange is from Rwanda. Gentle and soft-spoken, Ange is a shining example of a woman who honored her husband by fighting for him. Ange was in high school when the horrific Rwandan genocide broke out in 1994. She and Emanuel fled on foot. Soldiers attacked their refugee camp. Ange and Emanuel got separated as they ran for their lives. She searched frantically for him, hiding in the forest with no clean water, food, or shelter. Ange made her way to Kenya. She looked everywhere for Emanuel. Eventually she enrolled in Bible college while she continued her search. For eight years! Even her closest friends tried to persuade Ange to accept that Emanuel was dead—and to remarry. But Ange sensed the Holy Spirit was whispering to keep on fighting and to believe that Emanuel was still alive. Her lifeline became, "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame" (Romans 5:3-5a). While listening to a radio program which helped find missing family members after the war, she heard the amazing news that Emanuel was alive. "It was like a dream!" she exclaimed. "I stayed up all night praising and thanking God!" After eight long years, Ange and Emanuel were finally reunited - all because of a wife who kept fighting for her husband. I can best fight for my husband and honor our marriage most powerfully by fighting my flesh and by interceding for him in prayer. Choose to do the same. The fight is worth it!

by Marilynn Chadwick "Let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). I have been inspired by what the Bible teaches us about honor. As a result, I have tried to be more intentional about showing honor to David. However, I've come face to face with an important realization: Honor demands far more from me than simply submission. Please understand. I fully appreciate submission in marriage as part of the biblical framework of love and respect. But to truly honor my husband, I have to set the bar much higher than submission. Honor requires self-sacrifice. Humility. It challenges me to bridle not just my words, but also my thoughts. It makes me bite my tongue. Honor confronts me with my sin. It forces me to see everything that gets in the way of me giving my best. I can choose to build up my husband or to break him down. This plays out with the words I speak to him and the words I speak about him. I must use my words to encourage his leadership to flourish within our family. For example, the words I speak to our children influence what they think about their dad. Same with outsiders. Careless words can tarnish his reputation in the eyes of others. Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that a wise woman "builds her house," but a foolish one "tears it down." As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. Showing respect is vital to any healthy marriage. But when it comes to honoring our husbands, it helps to understand that no two marriages or men are exactly alike. Words and actions that make my husband feel honored and respected might go right over the head of your husband. But this truth is consistent, if I want to honor David, I have to become honorable myself. Same holds true for you. So in this way, honor conforms all of us to the image of Christ. Honor requires a strong walk with the Lord. I guess you could say that to truly honor my husband, I must give my best to cultivate a heart of honor. Honor, even more than submission, is an imposing benchmark. It's a sublimely powerful target. For if I take aim and hit the bullseye of honor, I am probably covering all the other virtues that make for a strong marriage. Honor him by giving him your best!

by Marilynn Chadwick Honor may be best expressed through word and deed, but it begins in my mind. What I think about my husband determines whether my words and actions will honor him. In fact, what we believe about our husbands can make or break our marriages. We must believe the best. For me, this means that as a wife, I value and respect David, believing in him even more than he believes in himself. I can choose how I think about my husband. Either with a lens of criticism and cynicism or with a lens of respect and honor. Do I respect him? Appreciate him? Do I focus on his strengths and downplay his weaknesses? Do I take time to reflect on the many ways he sacrifices for our family? Am I there for him to support and strengthen him, especially when he feels weak? In short, am I thankful for him? Over the years, I've noticed a common theme in the marriages I've grown to admire. The spouses seem to be intentional about interpreting each other in a positive light. The wives speak about their husbands with respect. The husbands find ways to honor their wives. It's clear they treasure and appreciate their partner. In short, they believe the best about each other, and it shows. Turns out there's some research to back up this observation. Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages. He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself. Choose to honor. Make the intentional decision to be transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2). Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Believe the best about your husband and watch as honor increases in your marriage.

by Marilynn Chadwick It's important to understand honor as a biblical concept, shedding light on our God-given roles as husband and wife. In college, I was an atheist with strong feminist leanings. After I became a follower of Christ, it was God's Word which opened my eyes to His beautiful and somewhat mysterious plan for marriage. Everything God created was good. But He looked at Adam and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). God created woman from man - from his same substance: "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs …Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man…" (Genesis 2:20-24). Marriage was God's gift to humanity. Eve was Adam's companion, but the Bible also calls her his helper. In Hebrew, "helper," or ezer, means "to support." It's a combination of two roots: "to rescue, to save," and "to be strong." The word ezer in the Bible most often refers to God as the helper, usually in times of danger or battle. Are you an ezer to your husband? The word ezer is also closely related to the word for rock. I honor David when I'm strong like a rock in my walk with the Lord. Strengthen your heart with the Word of God, prayer, spiritual disciplines, and biblical community. In the process, I hope you'll see that being a strong woman of God, while also submitting to your husband's spiritual leadership, go hand in hand. As wives, we respond best to our husbands' spiritual leadership when we trust God and His design for our marriage. When you grasp what it means to be an ezer, you begin to get an image of your role as a rock, not a doormat. Your challenge is to become strong so that you are a source of strength for a husband who will sometimes be weak. I've learned that an important part of showing honor to a strong husband like David is to be his "rock of support" when everything around him feels like it's crashing down. Think about what it means to be strong like a "rock" for our husbands, families, and communities. Lord knows we need more women who are willing to live strong as ezers in this hurting and broken world.

by Marilynn Chadwick What is honor and why is it important? To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. Several years ago my husband's beloved college basketball coach, North Carolina's legendary Dean Smith, passed away. Next to his own father, David says Coach Smith was the most significant man in his life. Even superstar Michael Jordan called Coach Smith his "second father." Why? Because along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught his players about life. When I first met my basketball player-turned-preacher husband, I was a University of Georgia girl and a die-hard football fan. Basketball, not so much. But I loved David, and I grew to love basketball. Soon after we got married, Coach Smith sent me a handwritten note welcoming me to the "Carolina Family." He always remembered my alma mater and my college major. He knew our children by name. Seriously. Who does that? After Coach Smith's passing, I was able to write an editorial honoring my husband's legendary basketball coach. Responses to my article, some from well-known leaders in our community, caused me to wonder if our culture is thirsty for honor. Public reaction to Dean Smith's passing seemed to convey a nostalgic yearning for role models, for dads, for men of honor. In fact, a prominent defense attorney in our community sent me a handwritten note sharing how his own dad had been such an honorable man. A federal judge and a bank president both weighed in on the subject of honor. Young moms wrote to tell me about their "amazing husbands" and vowed to be more intentional to honor them. Had I touched a nerve? Maybe it's because honor is lacking in our homes. Families today are in trouble. Studies show that 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Honor was God's idea in the first place—especially in marriage. No wonder we're thirsty for this sometimes-forgotten virtue. What would happen if we sparked a movement of honor in our homes, our communities, and our world? Over the next two weeks, we will explore honor from a biblical point of view; specifically addressing wives. I want to give every wife 8 practical tips on how you can begin to honor your husband and create a culture of honor in your home. My dream is that together, we really could see a movement of honor that would spill over into a hurting and broken world.

Remember the definition of honor: "to regard with great respect, to prize, to admire, to give special recognition, to demonstrate high respect or great esteem for someone." What a rich and powerful word! I have spent the past two weeks giving husbands tools for how they can honor their wives. We wrap up our journey today. I pray these "8 Greats" give you practical ways to interact with your wife and bring honor into your marriage. By the way, next week Marilynn will do the same with you wives: 8 Great ways to honor your husbands. We see the theme of honor interwoven throughout the Bible (Exodus 20:12, Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 3:7). It is clearly important to the heart of the Father. Let's look back on the "8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife." Trust Her Gut Be a Man of God Encourage Her Gifts Respect Her Opinion Ask This Question Often: "How is Your Heart?" Share Your Heart Be a Guardian and Gardener Use Words Wisely I believe that if you lead the way and start to put these tools into practice, you will see a culture of honor increase in your marriage and your home. Romans 12:10 says, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." It's the one place in the Bible where we are called to compete with one another: in giving honor! Imagine what will happen if you and your wife begin to try and outdo one another in honor. Love will increase. The home will get healthier. Jesus will be glorified. The goal of marriage is to see two very different, unique, special individuals become one. As two become one, biblical marriage becomes the most beautiful reflection of the love between Jesus Christ and the bride. Let's reclaim honor in our marriages! It is essential to accomplishing this goal of two becoming one and seeing the Gospel of Jesus displayed through our lives.

Marilynn and I have coined what we call "8 Greats" for different areas of our lives that require practical, biblical wisdom. We are spending two weeks looking at 8 great ways husbands can honor their wives. Husbands, today's tool is this: use words wisely! Words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." Words can do damage or they can bring healing (Proverbs 12:18). In fact, Proverbs 16:24 says, "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." I want to see a generation of men rise up who know how to rightly use their words. To be wise voices who bring perspective and healing. Do you remember hearing the ridiculous phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."? What a lie! Words hurt. They sting. And are long remembered. Speak words of life to your beloved. Things like, "I am so honored to be your husband." Then, say this publicly before others and it will really get you brownie points. Tell her, "I am never leaving you." "Thank you for marrying me." "I am so grateful for all you do for me." If you have never said anything like this before to your bride, try it today! Take one or two of these examples I have given you and use them. Watch what happens! Where you have felt distance, there will be closeness. Where disappointments have been commonplace, hope will return. Then watch as you two become one!

Husbands, I am spending these two weeks focused on you. I want you to walk away with 8 great, practical ways to honor your wives and help your marriage be all that God wants it to be. We live in a world where marriages are falling apart. But God has given us tools to cultivate strong and lasting marriages. He wants to see healthy homes that are glorifying God together! Here is today's tool for you, husbands: Be a guardian and a gardener. You are a GUARDIAN. Called by God to protect your home from evil influences. From people to social media to television shows to movies to music, there are destructive forces in the world that want to destroy your family and defile the name of God. You must ask yourself regularly, "Does this bring glory to God the Father or does it curse his name?" If it doesn't praise Jesus and bring glory to the Father, call it out and cut it off! Lukewarm Christianity is not acceptable in God's eyes. In fact, Revelation 3:16 says, "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." God is very serious about holiness. As the guardian of your home, husbands, build and walk your family's wall. Watch for danger. Make sure it's protected at all times. When something is not right, speak up! Fight for your family's health and safety. And give your wife the freedom to do so as well. You are also a GARDENER. Sprinkle healthy nutrients into your family's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Tend to the needs of each person's heart. Make sure grace is in place. Make sure love conquers all. Forgive. Ask for forgiveness. Speak words of encouragement and hope. Show a spirit of perseverance. Be the spiritual leader of your home. What does this mean? Simply initiate spiritual health and life. Initiate prayer. Lead the way in having your family worship together both in the home and at church. And as your wife sees you doing this, she will feel honored and you'll become one!

We are looking at 8 great ways husbands can honor their wives. I want every husband to have a large assortment of tools that he can use to strengthen closeness with his wife. Today's tool: share your heart! As you practice asking yesterday's question to your beloved, "How is your heart?", make sure you share your heart with her as well. There is nothing that a wife hates more than to feel like she is being transparent with a husband who seemingly doesn't struggle with a thing. Husbands, don't stuff your feelings. It's not good for you, it's not good for your health, it's not good for your marriage. It stifles honor! Genesis 2:18 says, "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a helper fit for him.'" The word here for helper is "ezer." Your wife is designed to be your helper. But she can't be that for you if you don't let her. Tell her what you need. Expect her to respond with help. You two are meant to complement each other. The Bible is full of verses that speak to the power of two and of living out the Gospel with another. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow." Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed." You two are stronger together than you are apart. Ask her to share her heart. Share yours. Pray for one another. Yes, even if it feels uncomfortable. Nothing is easy when you first begin, but over time you will find it much easier to share with one another and pray for each other. And the most amazing reality will occur; the two become one!

I am sharing "8 Greats" for how you, husbands, can honor your wives. Each day, I am giving men a new tool for your toolbox. God wants to give you simple solutions. We know this because Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." If this is true, which we know it is, then we have to take him at his word. He came to set captives free (Isaiah 61:1). Here is today's tool. Ask your wife this question often: "How is your heart?" After all, the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." Everything flows from your heart. If your heart is broken or crushed, it will affect the rest of your life. Jesus furthers this teaching in Mark 7:20-23. He knew that what is inside a person will ultimately be what defiles them: "Evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness." Husbands, you may very well be the instrument God uses to unclog the well of your wife's heart by asking this simple question. Try to figure out what is going on in your beloved's heart. It may take some time, but remember, she is worth it. Listen to what she says. Take note. Then spend time together praying into what she shares. Pray Scripture over her that aligns with where her heart feels broken or crushed. Is coveting stuffed inside? Read Psalm 90:14. Envy? Try Proverbs 14:30. Slander? Read Proverbs 16:24. And so on and so forth. This will wash her with the water of the word (Ephesians 5:26). Asking this question, "How is your heart?" and responding with tenderness and the truths of God's word will honor your wife. It will draw you two closer together as one flesh: the goal of all marriage!

We are taking two weeks to look at 8 great ways that husbands can honor their wives. When honor is in the foundation of a marriage, God is honored. Both people thrive. And the family gets healthier. In God's original intent for marriage, a husband and wife become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). A reflection of his nature and character. A demonstration of the love Jesus has for the church - his bride. Because a husband and wife are one flesh, God often uses a wife to speak into his will for the husband. A wife's insights are to be heard and cherished. The tool for today: respect her opinion. Wives need to be heard, honored, and respected. A wife's voice should be valued and prized. She, too, is made in the image of God and carries perspectives of his heart. You, as a husband, are called in Ephesians 5:25-27 to love your wife. To give yourself up for her. To cleanse her by giving her a consistent depiction of Jesus. I once told my wife Marilynn, "I'd be willing to die for you." She quickly responded, "That's great! Just make sure you also are willing to live for me as well." Great point! Husbands should listen to what their wives have to say and consider their suggestions. This will help her feel loved. There are many different ways to say, "I love you" to your wife with more than mere words. Sometimes it's through loving touch. Other times by listening to her heart and dreams. It's by building memories and having fun together. And, at times, it's by respecting her opinion. Choose to seek out her opinion and respect it. Value it. Cherish it. Ask her for it. On matters great and small. If what she is suggesting aligns with what is the obvious right thing to do, do it. This is a great way to increase closeness, intimacy and oneness.

I want to see biblical manhood reflected in the church. I want husbands to know how to honor their wives, creating strong marriages. I want to see strong, healthy families who love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. I believe a strong family starts with a strong marriage. And a strong marriage starts with humble men who know how to honor their wives. We are looking at 8 great ways for husbands to develop a culture of honor with their wives. Here is the next tool: encourage her gifts! Your wife has a call from God that he has given her to accomplish (Ephesians 2:10). There is a call from God inside of her that only she can do. It is different from yours. Help her find out what that work is. Then, help her do it. Study her. Watch what she loves to do. Ask her what she loves to do. Maybe start with some simple questions like, "What brings you life?" or "What sucks the life out of you?" Then take some time to dream with her. See what God has put inside of her. And then help her accomplish it. For example, my wife Marilynn loves to learn. I have always known that. So, when she approaches me with opportunities for further learning and study, I want to do whatever I can to support her in making that happen! In the 1990's, I watched her earn a Master's in Human Development and a master's from a local university. Within the last year, she received a Master's in Theology from Duke University – and, yes, summa cum laude in both degrees (I'm bragging, but so proud!). I have also loved seeing her use these gifts in teaching, which is her primary passion. Husbands, as you set your wives up to win and encourage the flourishing of her gifts, it helps you become closer and closer. And yet another tool to foster honor and for two to become one!

A toolbox packed full of different tools gives someone the confidence to step into a variety of situations and bring a solution. If you only have a "hammer" and you find a situation that needs a "screwdriver," you will not get very far. Over the next two weeks, we are exploring 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. I want to give you, husbands, tools to strengthen your marriage. My prayer is that God strengthens your marriage as you put these "8 Greats" into practice in your home. Today's tool: be a man of God! This is an absolute must for all husbands. You are to be an earthly example of Jesus to your bride. True biblical manhood is a blend of tough and tender. In the Bible, David is referred to as a man after God's own heart. A humble worshiper and a valiant warrior. A beloved shepherd and a giant slayer. As you strengthen your relationship with Jesus, growing in your biblical manhood, your wife will trust you more and more. Your daily pursuit of God will bring honor to her. She will want to honor you as you honor Jesus. In turn, your marriage will bring honor to the Lord. When a husband's faith is lived out in the home as a humble worshiper, a forgiven forgiver, and a strong leader with bridled power (Galatians 5:25), the wife will experience the blessing of his pursuit of Jesus. A wife can easily appreciate and honor a husband who lives under the control of the Holy Spirit, who crucifies the lusts of the flesh, who is self-controlled, and who lives a disciplined life. This is also so important in seeing a man and a woman become one.

As we are coming off Valentine's Day, where commercialized love is rampant, I want to teach you principles for developing biblical love and honor within a marriage. I love pithy statements that help to easily remember things. Marilynn and I have found the term "8 Great" to be a very easy way to remember Godly principles for different areas of life. Over the next two weeks, I want to share 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. Each day, I am going to give you, husbands, a new tool that you can put in your tool belt. Different situations require different tools and my prayer is that you will become more equipped to lead and love your wife with HONOR. Here is the first tool: trust her gut! It's almost as if wives have been given an early warning radar system by God. They can sense danger for their husbands from a mile away. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." As two become one, a wife's heart increasingly feels for her husband's heart. And wants his heart to be completely protected. I have so many examples of times I can look back on and see that Marilynn was exactly correct in her intuitions about certain situations and people. If I had listened to her more carefully, I could have avoided some pain. My Marilynn's prayer walk is deep and rich. I can trust she is hearing God's voice (John 10:27). And like God, I know she is FOR me (Romans 8:31). Husbands, listen to your wives. Honor her warnings. It will greatly aid in you both becoming one.

Honor. Such a powerful word. To honor is defined as this: "to regard with great respect, to prize, to admire, to give special recognition, to demonstrate high respect or great esteem for someone." In historical biblical culture, the word "honor" carried tremendous weight. Even today, there are cultures around the world that place a high value on honor. In God's original intent, honor is a tool to bestow on one another, to bless, to prefer someone else over ourselves. Unfortunately, in the modern American Christian culture, people seem to gravitate to one of two extremes regarding honor. It's either overused or missing in action, not used at all. Neither extreme is biblical. Biblical honor does not demand artificial respect to cover up someone's deeper insecurities or evil agendas. Biblical honor does, however, create an atmosphere of respect, rooted in the word of God, where leadership is revered and everyone can flourish. From the call to honor parents in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) to Paul's desire that all Christians honor one another (Romans 12:10) to husbands commanded by Peter to honor their wives (1 Peter 3:7), honor is interwoven throughout all of Scripture. For the next two weeks, we are going to look specifically at how husbands can and should honor their wives. If you are single, take notes and begin to train your mind and your heart, even now, with things that could bless a future marriage. If you are married, start to put these principles into practice in your daily lives. The goal is for two to become one (Genesis 2:24). And honor is a great tool God has put in the hands of husbands to help this take place.

We are wrapping up our journey of learning how to pray. Each day, you have been given a different key to open a new door that you may have never opened before in your prayer life. This week has been all about the Lord's Prayer. Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray in Matthew 6:9-13. We are going line by line, using each line as another key. Continuing to learn how to pray, here is your last key: "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you away from temptations. To guard your steps. To govern your decision making. Like a good Father would, God knows the places that can so easily ensnare you. He wants to help you avoid them in the first place. "Evil" here could actually be a direct object: "the evil one." Meaning Satan. The master manipulator and father of lies, who studies you regularly to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). He lays traps for you to catch you. Pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you away from his traps. But, should you ever become ensnared, go to the cross. Experience anew the power of the blood of Jesus. Share your freedom in Christ with others. Revelation 12:11 says that through the blood of Jesus and the word of our testimony, we conquer the enemy. By speaking and praying in the power of the NAME of Jesus, we regain the power. How the enemy hates it when we do this. Galatians 5:1 reminds us that Jesus wants us to be free in Christ. And when you pray for his forgiveness and love and grace over your life, every chain is broken! As you practice each one of these lines from the Lord's Prayer each day for a week, you'll find that you have more than enough to pray for and that you can spend an hour in prayer without even thinking twice! I pray you walk away from these two weeks more confident in how to pray and with keys to open up spiritual doors into the presence of God.

We are learning how to pray. The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is the recipe for prayer. Each line is another key I want to give you to unlock another spiritual door of understanding. Today's key is this: "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." In order for prayer to be powerful, we must forgive. It is not optional. Chances are, if you have lived any amount of life, you see why Jesus included this as a regular part of your time in prayer. Forgiveness begins with going back to the Cross. The Cross represents God's forgiveness of our $1 billion debt. A deep and profound understanding of just how much he forgave us should allow us to freely extend forgiveness for the comparatively $10 debt someone else may owe us. If we don't forgive, it blocks God's power to answer our prayers. The stagnate place of our unforgiveness allows bitterness to fester and take root, leaving us vulnerable to the enemy's tactics. A lack of forgiveness is like a dam built up to hold back a flowing body of water. It stops movement. It stops progress. It stops the flow of God in and through us. Spend some time today thinking about who has hurt you. If you need to write down their names one by one, do so. Tell the Father what has hurt you and then forgive. Give them to God. Both for their sake and for your sake. Forgiveness sets you free! And it allows God's power to move through you freely, without limitation. If you have never practiced forgiveness before, try it. God wants you to be without offense in order to be free to serve others. Without any burdens and with a joyful heart. Such is the Father's will for us all.

Jesus used the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 to guide his disciples in how to pray. Each line is another key I want to hand you for how to pray. We first enter into the presence of God with deep awareness and appreciation for both his Fatherly love and his divine holiness. We then ask with boldness and confidence for heaven to come to earth. We want to partner with his heart and will for this broken world. The next key is this: "Give us this day our daily bread." What are your needs today? What is troubling your heart? Where are you lacking? In Jesus' day, people did not have refrigerators or freezers. This term "daily bread" was basically a shopping list for the day. If you were to take a moment and write out a "shopping list" of things you needed to pick up, both literally or figuratively, what would you need? Hope? Food? Energy? Perspective? Money? Take a moment and make a list of your "daily bread" needs for today. The Bible says that tomorrow has enough worries of its own and we should not be anxious about those things (Matthew 6:34). In fact, no one is even guaranteed tomorrow. We must live for today. Ask Daddy in heaven to supply your every need TODAY. He promises that he will. He gave manna to the Israelites as they wandered through the wilderness for 40 years (Exodus 16:35)! He has provision for your needs as well. God is faithful! Ask him to show his faithfulness to you today. Chances are, he will do exceedingly more than that. Ephesians 3:20 says God "is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think." As you ask him for your "daily bread," know his heart is to give you that and more.

We are continuing to learn how to pray. The Lord's Prayer is the guide Jesus gave his disciples when they asked him how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13). It will help guide us, too. Each line is another key for how to unlock spiritual doors and enter into the presence of our Daddy in heaven through prayer. "Your kingdom come, your will be done. On earth as it is in heaven." Here is your key. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind anything and everything that exists here on earth that doesn't exist in heaven and then start praying heaven down. Joy for chaos. Hope for hopelessness. Peace for anxiety. And so on. The grammatical tense used here is the imperative tense, which is used to require or demand an action take place. It is a passionate command. We are to pray with passion! "Let your kingdom come! Let your will be done!" Hunger? "Father, feed the hungry!" Sickness? "Father, heal the sick!" Abortion? "Father, save all lives!" Polluted water? "Father, provide clean water!" Injustice? "Father, rule with justice!" Abuse? "Father, bind their wounds." What a great way to practice three word prayers! There are so many needs around us. Including your own needs. Your family's needs. Your friends' needs. We should never have a problem finding people or things to pray for that are needing to see a glimpse of heaven invading earth! Until Jesus returns, these pockets of his eternal glory will give hope for what is to come!

Watching the disciples gives us another key for how to pray. The only thing the disciples ever asked Jesus to teach them how to do was to pray. They saw his power and concluded it was a result of his prayer life. When asked, Jesus answered, "When you pray, pray like this." Notice he says WHEN you pray. Not if. He expected his disciples to pray. He knew it was an integral part of intimacy with the Father. From there, Jesus gives them a recipe for how to pray. This week, we will look at each line of the Lord's prayer in Matthew 6:9-13, a recipe for how to pray. Each line serves as another key. I want you to learn how to pray. And then I want you to pray. "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name." Start by talking to God as your Father. Your Daddy. A good Daddy. Loving. Kind. Faithful. Remember reading Matthew 7:7-11 last week? We saw how God loves to give good gifts to his children. While he is good and kind, he is also holy. Set apart. Different than we are. He is in heaven and we must enter his presence with awestruck wonder and respect. Confessing our sins as needed. Receiving his grace in abundance. Yes, he is your close friend and Daddy. But he is also awesome and sovereign. We must embrace the fullness of his nature. Carrying a deep appreciation for his authority, yet having the confidence that we can crawl into his lap just like a child would with a good earthly Father. This analogy might help you appreciate the differing attributes of the Father. God made both male and female in his image (Genesis 1:27). Each one carries a unique expression and gives a different glimpse of God. Similarly, there are attributes of the Father that are very different from one another. His mercy and justice. His grace and truth. His love and holiness. But as you experience and embrace all of him, you will experience LIFE and LIFE ABUNDANTLY (John 10:10). This holy and gracious Daddy is how you begin to pray. Knowing these attributes should encourage a fervor to pray! Begin your time with God by recognizing and worshiping everything that he represents. All prayer must begin here.

We will wrap up this week with another key to powerful prayer. A key you can use to gain access and entrance into the presence of God. A key to open the locked places of your own heart and find healing. A key to unlock a deeper understanding of who God is and how much he loves you. Here is today's key: don't be anxious about anything. This is a hard one. Especially when it seems as though there are opportunities for anxiety everywhere. But Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Paul is in prison when he is writing these words. He did not know if he would be killed the next day or released. He faced uncertainty. Trial. Persecution. Despair. Pain. Loneliness. Yet this was his message to the Philippian church…and us today. Paul tells all of us the pathway to God's peace. Don't worry about anything. Pray and release it all. Pray and surrender it all to your Daddy in heaven. And don't forget to pray with thanksgiving. Express gratitude. Be thankful. Why? Because as you remember what he has done for you in the past, you will remember and begin to believe he can do it again. This will increase your faith and expectation as you present your request to him. Then you will receive God's peace. His peace will be like a citadel that guards your heart. It will protect your mind from fear, worry and harm. It's a peace that passes all human understanding. It's God's supernatural peace from heaven. His peace will allow you to face all situations in this crazy, broken world. Prayer is God's pathway to his peace.

Isaiah 22:22 foreshadows the power that would be accessed through Jesus' life, death and resurrection. Jesus was given keys to open doors no one can shut and shut doors that no one can open. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead now lives in us (Romans 8:11). Because of that, we have been given keys as well to use for the glory of God alone. I am sharing some of the keys that I have found to powerful prayer. Today's key: NEVER give up when you need justice. Luke 18:1-8 is the Parable of the Persistent Widow. A widow was treated unjustly. She approached an unjust judge who neither feared God nor man. Looking with mere human lenses, there was not much to hope for here for her! But the widow started to pound on his door. She pounded. And pounded. And pounded. Until finally, he became so weary of her incessant knocking that he gave into her request for justice. In verse 1, Jesus tells us the purpose of this parable: that we always continue to pray and never give up—especially when asking for justice. If something unjust has happened to you, go to the eternal Judge of the universe and ask for justice. If the judge in this parable responded in favor of the widow's plea for justice, how much more will our God respond to our similar cries for justice? Keep asking in faith, for when Jesus returns, more than anything else, he wants to find faith residing in us as we live on earth (Luke 18:8). Believe God will answer. Know that he is just and righteous in all he is and does (Deuteronomy 32:4, Psalm 11:7).

Keys are used as a means of gaining entrance or access to something. We are spending two weeks looking at keys for your prayer life. I am sharing a new key with you each day, ones meant to help you gain access into God's presence through prayer. Today we are looking at this key to powerful power: shameless audacity. Or as Luke 11:8 says, "impudence." Read Luke 11:5-8, the parable of the friend at midnight. If you remember, Jesus gives a teaching about a man who goes to visit his friend at midnight. He knocks on his door and explains he needs some bread for another friend of his who just arrived from a journey. The friend he visits tells him to leave him alone. He is in his warm, comfortable bed and probably half asleep. What Jesus points out next in verse 8 is so interesting. He says, "I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs." Impudence. Shameless audacity. A cocky boldness. This man keeps knocking PERSISTENTLY even though it's midnight. Why? Because he knows that his friend is a good friend and if he asks enough times, his good friend will respond. God is a faithful, good and loving Daddy (Deuteronomy 7:9). And as I reminded you a couple of days ago, we are friends of God (John 15:15). Because of this, we pray with one of the few times the word is mentioned in the Bible: shameless audacity. Impudence. Some have even said the word can mean "swagger." Being SO confident that your good and loving Daddy God will answer you. Because you know him. You know his nature. And God is a good Daddy and friend!

I am handing you a different key each day to learn how to access the powerful presence of God through prayer. When doors seem to be locked, God desires for us to learn how to open them. His Word gives us so many insights that can guide us as we pray. Another key to powerful prayer: persistence. One definition of persistence is "firm or obstinate continuance in course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition." Yesterday we looked at Matthew 7:7-11. Jesus explains truths about God's goodness as a Father. The verb tense used in that passage is the imperfect, which means continual. The asking, seeking, and knocking here is meant to be persistent. Continual. Never giving up. Relentless. We admire persistence in people's stories that lead to success. Stories where people pursue something and finally succeed. Persistence is at the heart of a champion. If the power of persistence is true in the natural world, how much more must it be true in the spiritual world – especially through prayer! When you are persistent in prayer, it shows God both your desire and your faith. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." When you are delighting, or finding joy in the Lord, your desires end up being his desires. This ensures your requests are aligned with his heart and will. With what is best for you. If it's not, and you are delighting in him, trust that he will tell you. If you know God has promised you something, keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep knocking. And don't ever give up!

We are going to take the next two weeks and look at various tools for developing a powerful prayer life. I want you to picture each day as a key that I am going to hand you. This key is meant to show you a way you can open a spiritual door and access the powerful presence of God. For some of you, these may be new keys you have never known. For others, you may find that these are keys that you either forgot about or lost. Either way, I pray you will use these keys regularly and purposefully. Let's jump in. The first key is this: know the character of God. Take a moment and read Matthew 7:7-11. In these verses, Jesus asks a profound question. If earthly fathers, who are consumed with original sin, still want good gifts for their kids, HOW MUCH MORE does your perfect heavenly Daddy want to give you, his kids, GOOD GIFTS? As Jesus points out in these verses: If you were to ask your earthly dad for a fish, would he give you a snake? What an awful dad that would be! Or if you were to ask for bread, a staple of life, would he give you a stone? Ridiculous! That is not a good dad! God's nature and character is good. Psalm 145:8 says, "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." For those of us who have put our trust in Jesus and can call ourselves children of God, we have been reconciled fully to our Father. He no longer calls us servants, but friends (John 15:15). The sin that separated us from his love was paid for by Jesus on the cross. Approach God knowing that he is a good Daddy. An intimate friend. He desires to give GOOD gifts to his children. That's you and me. Knowing this KEY will change how you pray every day!

We are completing our two week study on suffering. This final point on suffering is one of the greatest keys I have found to overcoming suffering: have a constant awareness of the thereness of God. The presence of God changes everything. God is our refuge and strength. He is described as an ever present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1). He is with us in the pain. His presence is the present. And Jesus is fully present in the moment of pain. When you pass through the waters, God is with you. The rivers will not overwhelm you. The fires will not burn you. "The Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior" is with you and for you (Isaiah 43:2-3). Jesus promised he would be with us until he returns (Matthew 28:20). He promised never to leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Isaiah 64:8 says that God is the potter and we are clay. He can mold our pain for gain. In fact, the wonder and mystery of grace is that Jesus takes all of our bad and gives us all of his good. So, where we have pain, he offers healing. Where we are afraid, he gives peace. Where we feel defeated, he gives victory. When we are weak, we are actually strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). God promises vindication and victory in all things (Isaiah 54:17). Believe him. Even when you don't feel like it. Choose to say, "I trust you, my Lord." My dear friend Travis Greene has a song called "Watch Him Turn It." The lyrics say, "Stand still. Watch him turn it. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. But we serve a God who does much more than we could ever imagine. Whatever happens, it's working. He's turning it around right now. Watch him work." I would encourage you to take these truths to heart amidst your suffering and pain. Believe. Trust. Seek Jesus's constant presence. Have awareness of the thereness. And watch our great God work.

We are finishing up today and tomorrow with a couple of final thoughts on suffering. I hope it has been helpful to further understand why suffering exists in our world and to know what God says about how to navigate it. These last two days aren't reasons for suffering, but rather some conclusive thoughts. Remember that suffering either breaks our backs or bends our knees. If you think it is your job to carry the weight of suffering, it will crush you. Remaining stiff and upright in an attempt to shoulder the pain yourself is ultimately pride. Choosing to bow in humility, letting Jesus carry the load for you, will allow you to stand upright once again. Matthew 13:24-30 reminds us that wheat and weeds will grow up in fields side by side. Interestingly, they look exactly the same until wheat sprouts what are called ears. The one other thing that sets wheat apart is that wheat bows when it reaches maturity, while weeds, or tares, stay stiff and upright. When the storms of life come, they will either make us bitter, battered or better. If we try to lean on our own strength and understanding, we will become bitter. We will be battered to cynicism and despair. But if we allow suffering to remind us that we are not in control and release our lives to the Lord, we will become better. Stronger. Less prideful. More able to continue through life and help others walking through similar sufferings (2 Corinthians 1:4). Always remember. Christians worship a God on a cross. Through suffering, Jesus received a resurrection life. A glorious victory! We, too, are promised a similar eternal victory. That's God's desire as well for those who love him and have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

There are so many reasons why suffering happens. While it helps give us a framework for what is going on in this broken world, it doesn't make the pain any less. In addition to some of the reasons we have been talking through, we also suffer when God disciplines us. Ouch. This one is not fun. Hebrews 12:11-13 says, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." If you had a good, loving, honest earthly father, you know that Godly correction is normal and even necessary in a healthy home. Kids love boundaries and discipline is often the tool needed to help them stop destructive behavior. Momentary discipline can save children from harm and a lifetime of pain. Our heavenly Father disciplines us for these reasons as well. Its purpose? To give us the "peaceful fruit of righteousness" mentioned above. God wants us to live in the right standing with him and with others. This honors him. While it can be painful, choose to yield to the loving and fruitful discipline of your heavenly Father. Yes, it hurts at the moment. But know that it is only because he loves you and wants the best for you. If you never got to experience the unconditional love of an earthly father, I pray that you will have an encounter with your heavenly Father that will change you forever. Allow him to show you what true love is. 1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to start. He is patient. Kind. Long-suffering. His love is not rude or irritable. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing but only with the truth. As you understand how much he loves you, you will be able to receive his discipline with the deep understanding that it will ultimately produce character, which produces hope (Romans 5:4-5). A loving eternal Daddy does sometimes discipline his children, but only for our good and his glory.

We are exploring different reasons why suffering exists and how we can be more than conquerors with the suffering we face (Romans 8:37). Many people find suffering to be the greatest roadblock in following Jesus. They simply cannot reconcile why a good God could allow bad things to happen. I pray some of these conversations help answer those questions and give perspective as to why suffering exists. There are reasons for suffering. We live in a broken creation. We are humans who make mistakes. Jesus promises persecution for those who follow him. And other people's sin can bring on suffering. Here is another reason for suffering. Because of Satan's attacks. Satan studies our lives, knows our weaknesses, and attacks accordingly. In the same way a sports team studies their opponent's game film to prepare for an upcoming game, Satan studies our game films. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12 that he had a thorn in his flesh that was a direct assault from Satan. Any follower of Jesus is an opponent to Satan's plans and he wants to take you down. Look at the story of Job in chapters 1-2. Satan is prowling around looking for someone to attack and does everything he can to cause Job to turn from the Lord. Or Luke 22:31 where Jesus tells Simon Peter that "Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat." What do we do? First, we must realize that our war is not against flesh and blood but powers and principalities of the darkness, led by Satan himself (Ephesians 6:12). Also, we realize that Satan is a creature and God is the Creator. God rules over Satan's wiles. Next, we must also daily put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20). Be specific about each piece of the armor. God's truth holding each piece of the armor together. Guard your mind with the helmet of salvation. Hold high the shield of faith. Protect your heart with the breastplate of righteousness. That way, you are ready when, not if, the enemy attacks. And wield the sword, the only offensive weapon, which is God's Word. Finally, walk with a swagger. You've won! Jesus who lives in you is greater than he, Satan, who lives in the world (1 John 4:4).

We have been exploring the subject of suffering. What does the Bible say about suffering? What causes suffering? How can we be overcomers in the midst of suffering? Let's first look at another reason for why we suffer and that is persecution for professing faith in Jesus Christ. Plain and simple, we will suffer because we love Jesus. Jesus told us in John 15:20 that persecution would happen to those who follow him. If we saw him experience suffering, we should expect it can also happen to us. The pupil is not greater than the teacher. Jesus made some audacious claims. He claimed to be the only way to the Father (John 14:6). He healed hurting people on the Sabbath, something strictly forbidden by the religious leaders. He offended the religious and offered grace to the lost. He found himself in the crossfires of disdain and disgust from so many. Many people hate that God demands moral purity on their lives. They hate that Jesus wants complete control of everything they have. They resent any authority and do not want to think that God knows what is best for their lives. The increased persecution of Jesus's followers all around the world is one of the many signs that suggests Jesus' return is more imminent than ever before. In the history of the world, persecution for Christians has never been greater than it is right now. Tertullian, considered in church history as one of the great church fathers, said, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church." Any time suffering happens because of resistance to the pure gospel of Jesus, we should expect the church to flourish. This should cause our joy to increase, knowing that nothing is wasted. Remember, any persecution that we have here will be greatly rewarded in heaven (Matthew 5:12). As the beautiful song "The Wonderful Cross" reminds us, Jesus's way bids us to come and die and find that we might truly live. Take heart, my friend. Weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Today we look at another reason for suffering. Sometimes we suffer because of willful, rebellious decisions. Let's be honest. There are moments when we don't just make a stupid mistake, but we know God's will and willingly choose the opposite. It's rebellion in action. We shake our puny fists at the Almighty. We do what we want. And it's dangerous. I often see this playing out inside the church world. Let me share an example. Someone may sit in the congregation for years, hear clear biblical teaching on sexual purity, and yet choose to live with a partner and engage in sexual activity outside of the confines of marriage. In this situation, that individual knows what God says, but chooses the opposite. Willful rebellion. When we discover a sin like this, what should we do? Confess it. Again, practice 1 John 1:9. God is faithful and just and will forgive you. Ask God to create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you just as David did in Psalm 51 after he made a willful, rebellious decision against God by committing adultery with Bathsheba. When you do this, you will instantly sense God's redeeming grace flooding your soul. In that moment you should know that you are forever forgiven in his eyes. As far as the east is from the west, that is as far as he has removed his transgressions from you (Psalm 103:12). When you confess your sin, it is forgotten. And the great exchange takes place. God exchanges your sin for his grace and righteousness. What a great deal! New purpose is given to you in place of shame and condemnation! Grace. Forgiveness. The most wonderful gifts anyone could ever receive.

In this broken world, suffering is commonplace. If you have lived life for any length of time, you have experienced suffering. What are the reasons for suffering? Here are some of the reasons we have already covered: we live in a broken creation, with fallen bodies, and people's selfishness causes them to hurt one another. We can also experience suffering from our personal mistakes. Sometimes we just make stupid mistakes and suffer accordingly. I don't know about you, but there have been times when I have made some really stupid decisions. Uninformed. Selfish. Hasty. Emotional. Not led by the Spirit of God. Mistakes made by never asking God for counsel. What do we do when this happens? First, confess to God when you experience conviction from the Holy Spirit. Admit your fallen nature and be honest about your mistakes. Remind yourself that you have been redeemed as a child of God and called to live differently than the world says to live. Secondly, ask God for wisdom to avoid making the same foolish mistake in the future. Don't lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6 says that as we trust in the Lord and not on our own understanding, he will make all of our paths straight. Finally, repent. The simple way to define what it looks like to repent is, "Stop it!" But there's more. You also turn away from bad behavior and turn toward a behavior that produces life. Your mind is renewed and you become transformed, desiring to please God at all costs (Romans 12:2). This is God's pathway to freedom and making this world a better place in which to live.

Suffering is an unfortunate part of this broken world. Creation is broken. Our bodies are broken. Why is there so much suffering? What do we do with it as followers of Jesus? We are looking into some of the reasons suffering exists and also how to overcome it. Here's a major reason we suffer. Because of other people's sin. When sin entered the world, so did the desire to hurt and manipulate others. The first example of this is Cain killing his brother, Abel. Cain's sin was rooted in jealousy and pride and people have been hurting one another ever since that murderous moment (Genesis 4). We must be vigilant to recognize jealousy and pride in our own lives and kill them before they grow in power to hurt someone else. Here is another of God's weapons for handling the sins of others: forgiveness. Through the grace and mercy of Jesus, we were offered forgiveness for our sins. As God forgives us, we are now to forgive one another (Colossians 3:13). We are not to seek vengeance (Romans 12:19), but rather forgiveness. In Luke 23:34, Jesus says, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This is the only way to be set free from those who hurt you. When you forgive other people, it frees you up from being negatively affected by their sin. It frees you from bitterness. The age old saying, "Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the person who offended you to die" is so very true. Kill jealousy and pride. Cain shows us it can lead to murder. And when others hurt you, flee from bitterness. It will only hurt you. Then you will never hurt others…and have helped alleviate suffering in this broken world.

Suffering in our world brings so much grief. Suffering also frustrates the minds of people who are skeptics of the Christian faith. Why is there suffering? How could God still be good in the midst of such suffering? These are valid questions and I have much empathy for those who ask these questions. But there are answers. In addition to living in a fallen world, another reason why we suffer is because we live in fallen human bodies. God told Adam and Eve that if they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they would surely die (Genesis 2:17). As the story unfolds, tempted by God's archenemy, Satan, Adam and Eve end up eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. In that moment, death, sin and suffering came on the scene. From the moment these three things entered the world, God's enemy relentlessly attempts to kill, steal, and destroy. Please know, dear friend, God never intended death to be a part of our lives. The enemy of our souls is the author of all evil. But humanity bought the lie of temptation. We introduced this chaos through our own rebellion. Every time our bodies groan, hurt, or experience pain, they are longing for the day of redemption, waiting "eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies" (Romans 8:23). Because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, we will one day have perfect resurrection bodies. 1 Corinthians 15:51-57 says that "we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye." Death has no sting and has been swallowed by victory. Pain and suffering in our mortal bodies is temporary for those who follow Jesus. The message of Jesus is the only religion in the world where the Divine enters into the squalor of this world on a rescue mission to make the way for the family of God to be restored. In other words, God wins!!! One day, Jesus will defeat sin, death and suffering once and for all! Glory to God!

The presence of suffering in our world is one of the greatest hindrances in people coming to faith in Jesus. Many ask the question, "How could a good God let bad things happen?" I want to sit with you this week and dig into some of the mysteries and complexities of suffering. Why do people go through suffering? Plain and simple, suffering happens because we live in a broken and fallen world. We breathe bad air. We eat bad food. We suffer from natural disasters, which are actually unnatural. God never desired disaster to be part of his creation. People hurt one another. Our emotions don't operate as they should, thus fear, anxiety, depression, shame, etc. So, what is the biblical answer for what to do when suffering happens? First, when you see and experience suffering around you, remember how broken this world is. Read and reflect that Romans 8:22 says that creation is groaning and will be until the day that Jesus returns. Our bodies also groan, looking forward to the day of redemption (verse 23). Suffering should not surprise us. Secondly, remember how God wants you to live amidst suffering. You play an important role as an ambassador of his kingdom. You are meant to display glimpses of what heaven will be like to this broken and suffering world. Everywhere your feet step is your mission field and because of Jesus, you are now an agent of hope in a hopeless world. You bring peace where there is chaos. You provide freedom to captives. You bring healing where there's hurt. Finally, remember that one day, Jesus WILL return and restore creation and our bodies to what it was in Genesis 1-2. To God's original intent. Live purposefully each day, while longing for the day when Jesus makes all things new! What a glorious day that will be!

I am going to teach you a fancy Latin term today. Ex nihilo. It means "from nothing." This is the message of Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." God spoke the world into existence. But before that, nothing existed. With a word, God created the heavens and the earth from nothing. He did not need a single thing to create this universe. As humans, we always need matter to create something new. A table must be made from trees. Streets need asphalt or concrete to be paved. Buildings need metal and wood to be built. But God. God needs nothing to create. He created the sky, the trees, the animals, and humanity ex nihilo. All from nothing. What a miracle! Do you have a hopeless situation today? Where it seems like nothing is going to change? Do you feel stuck and unable to move forward? Ask God for a miracle. He is the God of the impossible (Matthew 19:26). With one word, God can change a hopeless situation. With one word, he can bring hope to your hopelessness. He can create beauty for ashes. A garment of praise for a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3). Maybe you read this and still feel hopeless, thinking that God has nothing to work with to even begin to create something new in your life. Remember, that doesn't matter. Even if he has nothing to work with, he can create something beautiful ex nihilo. From nothing. Trust him today. God is the only one who can make something from nothing. And make it beautiful in the process.

"God doesn't give you dying grace until you are dying." I believe this quote originated from Corrie Ten Boom, the Christian who survived the Nazi concentration camps in World War II. She lived in a reality that demanded unwavering trust in the timely grace from her heavenly Father. Regardless of who originally said it, this message is so important to understand as followers of Jesus. We may not be facing Nazi regimes like Corrie Ten Boom, but we will inevitably face trials and tribulations of our own (John 16:33). Jesus promises to give us the grace we need for whatever situation we may face. 2 Corinthians 12:9 promises that God's grace is sufficient for whatever we may face. His power is made perfect in our weakness. When we follow Jesus, our weaknesses become an opportunity to boast in the power of Jesus. He can take any situation and turn it for our good and his glory (Romans 8:28). This promise of God's sufficient grace is for every single problem you will ever face. But it is given to you as you need it. If it's a problem you won't face until tomorrow, God will not give you the grace today that you'll need tomorrow. But he will give it to you tomorrow! He is a good Father who is present and ready to give grace for each needed moment. This is especially true when facing death, the final and greatest enemy of all. When that day comes, Jesus will give you the grace needed even to face that. And you will be able to face it with courage and victory. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 says that death has no sting! It has been swallowed up in victory. "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." What a wonderful promise!

I have found there to be tremendous danger in self-made success. The problem with people who can work their way into a place of success is that they often find themselves worshiping their creation rather than their Creator. Our culture emphasizes the need to be self-made. Work hard. Achieve. Be successful. Reap the benefits of your success. Don't get me wrong. We should work hard. Colossians 3:23 and 1 Corinthians 15:58 both call us to work at everything we do with all of our hearts for the Lord; always abounding in work and knowing our labor is not in vain. We are to do all of this for the glory of the Lord. But self-made success that is devoid of humility and dependency on Jesus can quickly turn to self-sufficiency and self-worship. We end up worshiping ourselves - the creator of our success - rather than the Creator who gave us everything to be successful in the first place. The very ability to work hard is a gift from God. Any creative thoughts or ideas we have are placed there by him. The energy to get up every day and pursue success comes from him. Deuteronomy 8:18 says, "You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day." Remember. What an important word. It is the weapon with which we can fight the dangers of self-made success. Remember who created you. Remember all you have is a gift from God. Remember you were created for a purpose. Remember who should get the glory. Remember your priorities. Remember to rest. These "remember" phrases will keep you free from being tempted to think you are greater than your Creator. To Christ alone be all glory!

You're in sales. God's in management. It's not the other way around. We serve the King of Kings, Lord of Lords and are responsible for living out his commands. Jesus commands his followers in Matthew 28:19-20 to take the gospel into all the world. This is not optional. Our job, as his followers, is to share this good news. Jesus was sent on a mission by the Father to live his life as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 2:2). God loved the world so much that he was willing to sacrifice his son, knowing he would live the sinless life none of us could live. Die the death we all deserved. And make the way for us to be reconciled to the Father and to have eternal life (John 3:16). Too many Christians are hesitant to share this good news. Fearful of being rejected by those who hear this message. Yes, it's a message that offends the flesh. But it brings eternal life to the soul like no other religion in the world. Your job is to tell others about Jesus. It's God's job to awaken them to salvation and draw them to faith in him. Should someone reject the message of Jesus, they are really rejecting him, not you. He will deal with them in his way and in his time. So share. Live each day with the good news of Jesus on your lips. Be ready in and out of season to give a reason for the hope you have found (1 Peter 3:15). Then relax and watch God work. Take the pressure off yourself! After all, you're in sales. God's in management.

Picture this for a moment. You are sitting by a pool on a hot summer day. You look over to your right and see a grown man playing in the kiddie pool by himself. This man is splashing around with a plastic inflatable dolphin and arm floats. He then lies on his belly in 3 inches of water and begins to kick his feet. He could be fully submerged in the adult pool that is a few yards away, but chooses the kiddie pool. What would you think? I know if I saw this, I would certainly find it to be weird and might even call the police. Let me ask you another question. Do you think this man is an example of maturity? I would say no. Hebrews 5:13 gives a strong warning to those who profess Christ, saying that if we are still drinking milk, we are like children, unskilled in the word of righteousness. Adults don't drink breast milk. As babies mature, they progress to eating solid foods. Hebrews 5:14 goes on to say that "solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil." Maturity and discernment walk hand in hand. Solid food is for those who are strong, grounded, and firm in their faith. Take a moment and be honest with your own Christian discipleship development. Are you still drinking milk in the faith? Do you think it's time to eat meat? Are you still playing in the kiddie pool of faith? Do you think it's time to grow up? Dive into the deep end and learn how to swim in God's great pool of grace. The vast, deep waters can be intimidating, but when you learn how to swim in them, you will find freedom. Hear the Father's heart for you today. It's time to grow up. It's time to become a mature follower of Jesus. One that represents the bride of Christ with confidence, courage, and conviction. One that knows your identity in Jesus and lives it out. Dear friend, it is time for the church to be the church. Let's jump in the deep end and watch what God does!

"Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy" (Isaiah 61:7). The prophet Isaiah revealed God's promise to double the Israelites' portion of what they'd previously lost. This promise came to them while they were still in Babylonian captivity. God repeated the same promise to the prophet Zechariah (Zechariah 9:12). God intended, once again, to restore double to the Israelites as they returned to their Promised Land. How does this promise hold true for us today? As we trust in the Lord, we can believe with confidence and assuredness that God will restore double for anything we have experienced. Where there has been dishonor, God says you will rejoice in your inheritance! Where there has been shame, God says you will possess a double portion and everlasting joy! God upheld the same promise to Job after his trials (Job 42:10). He restored double to Job for everything that was lost! Would you step out in faith and believe this today? In the aftermath of loss, would you choose to believe that God is still good and waiting to restore? Two times what you lost? Somehow. Some way. He will give you double for your trouble. Believe and trust in the goodness of God today and forever.

We serve a God who is a professional fixer upper. Long before Chip and Joanna Gaines made that phrase famous with their hit television show "Fixer Upper," God has been in the business of making old things new. In Jeremiah 30:3, God promised to restore the Israelites to the land after they had been removed from it for 70 years. He is the same God today that he was back then. Imagine God like a repairman for a moment. You take something broken to him. You leave it with him. You trust that he will get the job done. You do not call a repairman every five minutes to see if he has done his job. You leave it with him, trusting and knowing that he will do what he said he would do. In his time and his way. Our God, the Restorer, wants us to give him our broken pieces and ask him to heal us. He loves to restore broken people and broken stories. He takes joy in finding the most hopeless, distraught, impossible situations and breathing life into them. Isaiah 61 shows God's plan to send Jesus into this world to heal and restore. The coming Messiah would bind broken hearts, declare freedom for captives, and release prisoners from bondage. He would bring gladness for mourning and praise instead of a faint spirit. Do you believe God is the Restorer of your broken places? If so, hand your broken pieces to him. Wait. Trust. And know that he is able and faithful to complete it. That is faith.

God is sovereign over all of history. He began it. He will end it. That word sovereign means to possess ultimate power. The Lord our God has all ultimate power. In Job 38:4, God asks Job a very important question. He says, "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" He wanted to remind Job that the Creator of the universe was truly sovereign over every detail of Job's life. God knew Job's heart. He knew his needs. He knew his pain. God also knows your heart. Your needs. Your pain. Every detail of your life, he knows. Therefore, even before you pray, remember that God knows what you need and how to answer those requests before you even ask. "Before they call, I will answer" (Isaiah 65:24). The Lord spoke this promise over Israel and we, too, are beneficiaries of that promise because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. God is a promise-keeper. He always has been, and always will be. The reality of God's faithfulness should fuel your prayer life. You can be confident that God hears and answers all your prayers. Jesus also said in Matthew 6:8 that the Father knows what you need before you ask. He said this as God in human flesh, which should encourage your prayer life even more! If God says it, we should believe it. And he says this. Before you call. He will answer. Call out to him today!

"We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope" (Romans 5:3-4). Hope is one of the strongest forces in the universe. It gives people the ability to keep moving forward. If I was delivered once, I can be delivered again. Think about this illustration. A bunch of rats were placed in a vat of water in an experiment. They swam furiously for hours, but eventually, they started to give up. Moments before their impending death, they were rescued. Dried. Fed. Allowed to rest for several days. Then they were placed back into the vat of water. What was the difference the second time? Instead of swimming for only a few hours before giving up, they swam for 24 hours straight before showing signs of giving up. How did they last so much longer? They believed that since they had been saved once before, they could be saved again. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:10 that God "delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." Think of a time God has made a way where there seemed to be no way out. Remember the joy and gratitude you felt in that moment. Can you feel hope rising up in your heart? Now remember. If God did it once, he can do it again! Persevere. Don't give up. Hope does not disappoint.