45 Left or Right Podcast

When we decided to celebrate Thanksgiving in Ensenada, Mexico this year, people thought we were nuts. I thought maybe we were, too, but we ended up having one of the best family vacations ever. Instead of turkey, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, pumpkin pie, and possible awkward conversations about politics around the dinner table, we went for the freshest seafood I've ever had, digging holes in the sand, getting slayed by Devin in Monopoly, and having just a charming, relaxing time. Having this kind of unconventional celebration made me think about the ways people celebrate their different religions and cultures during the month of December, especially when a large percentage of Americans celebrate Christmas. This episode delves into several multicultural celebrations that occur in December, beyond the well-known Christmas festivities. I cover the historical significance and traditions of Hanukkah, Bodhi Day, and Pancha Ganapati, and also explores non-religious observances such as Kwanzaa and Yule rooted in the winter solstice. You would be surprised at the intersections of the different religions and cultures in how they celebrate the different occasions--lots of lights, decorating, singing, and giving gifts. I also talk about Season 2, which will premier in mid to late January. I am shifting gears and will cover more journalistic topics like immigration, vigilante justice and the phenomenon of deja vu, to start. Enjoy, and I will see you next year! #decembercelebrations #happyholidays #bodhiday #kwanzaa #panchaganapati #yule #wintersolstice

In this episode, I talk to Dr. Kathleen Nadeau, a dynamic clinical psychologist and leading expert on ADHD in women and girls. She is the Founder and Co-Owner of The Chesapeake Center, and has her Bachelor's, Master's and PhD in Psychology from the University of Florida (Go Gators!). Women in our society have been given an impossible role to play in that they generally work full-time outside of the home while also being expected to do the bulk of household duties. For neurotypical women, this is a tremendous and unreasonable expectation. For women with ADHD, they are operating in emergency mode all of the time, feeling like something is wrong with them because it is so much more difficult. Women who are diagnosed with ADHD as adults often look back and see how they masked their symptoms in order to fit in--to make friends, to do well in school, to please their parents, and to do what is expected of them by society in general. ADHD in women is often misdiagnosed as anxiety due to all of these pressures, and all of their masking. This will be the last episode in my ADHD Series, as I just can not improve upon Dr. Kathleen Nadeau's insight into ADHD. You will not be sorry you listened! #ADHD #ADHDEpisode #ADHDinWomen #ADHDinMothers #UnreasonableExpectations #NeurodivergentWomen #KathleenNadeau #TheChesapeakeCenter

In Episode 23: "A Closet Full of Participation Trophies," I delve into the topic of participation trophies and the generational debate surrounding them, with a focus on our hardcore Gen X experiences. We are the forgotten generation, the latchkey kids. We drank out of water hoses. We ate dirt. We were largely unsupervised. We lived through recessions, the AIDS epidemic, The Cold War. The Boomers and Millenials point fingers at each other, and we are, yet again, overlooked. As GEN X gets older, we have hung on to the notion that our incredible work ethic was the result of NOT receiving participation trophies as kids. Apparently, kids that are given participation trophies become lazy, entitled, soft and weak. Here's the thing, GEN X. We did get them. Check your parents' closets. Check your childhood bedrooms. And though we want to compare ourselves to younger generations and consider ourselves superior due to not being coddled, the truth is that younger generations are doing just fine with softer encouragement. Participation trophies have been handed out for over 100 years, and can improve young children's self-esteem, teamwork, and overall personal development. While there is an age that they become less effective, any token to encourage kids to play sports or engage in extracurriculars will benefit their overall growth. #45LeftToRightPodcast #GenX #ParticipationTrophies #LatchkeyKids #SportsParenting #YouthSports #MillennialsVsGenX #GenXLife #EncouragingYoungKids

Episode 22: "What is Executive Function? Parenting ADHD with Michael McCleod" is Part III in the ADHD Series for 45 Left or Right Podcast. In this episode, I spoke with Michael McLeod, an expert in ADHD and Executive Function. Michael has 17 years of experience with youth, and travels all over the world educating parents, kids, teachers and school districts on well-researched methods for improving Executive Function and Social Executive Function in kids and adolescents with ADHD. We dive deep into understanding executive function and it impacts children with ADHD, and practical strategies for parents to help their kids not just cope, but THRIVE. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or just curious about ADHD, this episode is packed with valuable information and actionable advice. Don’t miss it! #ADHD #ADHDSeries #ExecutiveFunction #ParentingKidsWithADHD #ParentingTeensWithADHD #GrowNOWADHD #ADHDExpert #MichaelMcCleod

Part II of my ADHD Series, "Oh, She's Just Flighty" talks about the traits of girls who have ADHD. They can be aloof, daydreamers, be overly emotional, be fidgety, have trouble focusing, be disorganized, or messy...and these traits are attributed as a personality rather than a collection of symptoms for a girl with undiagnosed ADHD. I talk to my friend, Amy, whose 8 year old daughter, Alex, was just diagnosed with ADHD. Amy talks about their process for getting Alex a diagnosis, as well as the grace she tries to give Alex for her sometimes unpredictable moods. Alex is a lucky young lady because she had teachers who readily recognized her inability to focus in school as being ADHD. Many girls struggle for years without realizing that they actually have ADHD, and subsequently can struggle with significant mood disorders, especially depression and anxiety, because they can't figure out the source as ADHD. "She's Just Flighty" is a comparison companion to Part I, "Boys With ADHD--Not Just Hyperactivity." Boys and girls with ADHD generally presently differently--boys can be hyperactive and impulsive, while girls can be excessively talkative and disorganized, just as examples. ADHD offers a spectrum of traits and behaviors that would surprise most people. Enjoy this episode, and look out for future episodes in my series on ADHD. #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #ADHDInBoys #LateADHDDiagnosis #MoodDisordersOrADHD #ADHDPodcastSeries #ADHDPodcast #45LeftOrRightPodcast 45 Left or Right Podcast Website

This is Part 1 of my ADHD Series! I hear the term, "ADHD" all of the time, but I only knew it to be what hyperactive, disruptive and impulsive boys were like when I was growing up. I've heard grumpy adults cry that it isn't a thing, and that kids who were unruly just need stronger parents. Well, it is in fact a thing, a thing that can disrupt the social, academic and emotional functioning of kids, teens and adults. In this particular episode, I interviewed my son's friend, Alex, who is 12 years old, and very aware of his ADHD, and how it has affected him. He openly shares his experience, all whilst eating BBQ Chips in my new car. I cover some fundamental facts about ADHD, and also some more trademark traits of ADHD as it shows up in boys. In future episodes of this series, I'm going to cover ADHD in Girls, Parenting Kids with ADHD, and then ADHD in Women, and in Men. 45 Left or Right Podcast Website

Jeff and I celebrated our 22nd Wedding Anniversary on September 1st, so I thought it was a perfect time to record an episode not only about the history of marriages and how wedding anniversaries have been celebrated since the Middle Ages, but it is the ideal time for us to tell the tale of our first little airplane flight together before our 1st Wedding Anniversary. A story that ends with us landing in a landfill in the small town of Andalusia, Alabama, and meeting a really nice couple who fulfilled every stereotype of an Alabama resident. This story kills at parties and social gatherings, so we decided to share it with the world. Or, at least, the dozens of people who listen to the podcast each week. #AirplaneMishap #EngineFailure #LandfillLove #WomenAsProperty #WeddingCeremonySuperstitions #WeddingCeremonyTraditions #WeddingAnniversaryGifts Instagram: 45leftorrightpodcast Facebook: 45 Left or Right Podcast www.45leftorrightpodcast.com

I have been asked many times what it was like to be a woman in the military, and this episode is a small sample of what it was like. I tell stories of discrimination, judgement, glory, and, also being treated equally. It was a challenging, sometimes enraging, empowering, and sometimes, lonely time. I tell stories that include all of these things! Did you know that woman have been serving in the military, even in combat, since the Revolutionary War? While Congress has been debating women and their role in combat for decades, women have been serving in combat from the very beginning. And as per usual in my podcast episodes, I look into some research that demonstrates why women actually improve performance for groups in high pressure situations. 45leftorrightpodcast.com

After a few weeks off for "vacation," I'm back with a new episode! I put vacation in quotes because it was a lot of traveling, and hectic, but we also did a lot of fun things. This episode is about back to school, and how some kids struggle more than others with this kind of transition. I interview my friend, Nicole, who has taught everything from 1st Grade to Middle School, and has seen hundreds of students come through her classrooms. She talks about some ways that kids show they are having trouble, like crying, or hiding under their desks, and what we as parents can do about it. I tell the story of my first anxiety-inducing day at a new school in the 7th Grade, and how lost and lonely I initially felt. I had bad hair, knew no one, and thought the middle school boys were weird! #Back to School #ParentingKids #Parenting Teens #ToughTransitions #45leftorrightpodcast #NewPodcastAlert

Recently, we traveled to Colorado and went whitewater rafting, and though we had a great time, I found myself more hesitant to get in the raft. In my 20s, I would not even thought about it--"Let's go rafting! Woo hoo!" I looked back into the risky things I did earlier in my life, and wondered whether or not I would do them now. On this episode, I tell some stories about the risks I have taken in my life, like flying a helicopter, and look into the research behind how we change our outlook on taking risks as we get older. Do we become more cautious because of wisdom and life experience? Is there something changing in our brains? Does it have to do with our personalities, as they can change? Expect several stories in this episode, especially how helicopters fly, how difficult it is to fly, and a thrilling story about a pirate ship tour. #analyzingrisk #riskybehavior #arewemorecautious #teachingriskmanagement #middleagepodcast #midlifecrisis 45leftorrightpodcast.com Instagram: @45leftorrightpodcast Facebook: @45leftorrightpodcast X" @45leftorrightpod

This is a RERUN! Enjoy! In my first flight as a Pilot-in-Command as an Army helicopter pilot, I got lost. I eventually ended up in my favorite little airport in Troy, Alabama, and consoled myself with some very delicious nachos. I was well over my head in college loan debt, and those nachos were my dinner. This experience made me think about how we make decisions when we are in our late teens and early 20s that can determine the rest of our lives. Why are our lives and culture set up for us to make big decisions so early in our adult lives? The brain development that develops in our late adolescence and continues through our mid 20s is actually really good because it allows us to take risks. Is this necessarily a bad thing? 45 Left or Right Podcast has a double meaning--a 45 degree bank in a helicopter is doable, but extreme. It puts your body under pressure, which is just like life in midlife. You are well into adulthood, either advancing in a desired career or deciding on a new career, or a new path. You can be in a long-term relationship like a marriage or a partnership, and can be in the throes of parenting young children, tweens, teenagers, or young adults. You are looking after aging parents, most likely. It is A LOT. This podcast is designed to take stories from my life as an Army helicopter pilot, Mom, wife, journalist and woman in my 40s to talk about the issues of midlife--career decisions, parenting, friendships, exploring your own interests, marriage and relationships, self-identity, and more! Originally Published March 13th, 2024 #HelicopterPilotStories #AdolescentDevelopment #LifeDecisions #YouthfulRisks #ThinkLikeATeen #ArmyVeteranPodcast IG @45leftorrightpodcast X @45leftorright Facebook: 45 Left or Right Podcast Website: 45leftorrightpodcast.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Puppies. Aren't they adorable? They are innocent, loving, and generally come with no baggage, except they are not housebroken! Then they grow up to be dogs, and if you haven't messed up too much with training them, are also adorable, loving and selfless. Jeff and I have had several dogs together, including 3 that were our original babies, our current dog, Tex, who came with some funny fears, but is incredibly sweet, and our brand new, 7 week old puppy, Luna. She is adorable, trusting, full of energy and personality, and a lot of work! But she'll be worth all of the work when she gets older--and housebroken! Dogs offer us so much, including improving our mental health, improving our self-confidence and other things. They also can provide our kids with a sense of responsibility, improving compassion and empathy, and exercise. In this episode, I talk about the research about these things, as well as tell some stories about my naughty but wonderful beagle, Jack, the discovery and lives of all of our dogs, and how we ended up with our current adorable brood. This episode is not a knock against other pets, because we have those too, including our current grumpy cat who can not BELIEVE we brought in a puppy, but dogs are where our expertise is. #DogsRule #BenefitsOfHavingADog #MentalHealthBenefitsOfADog #KidsResponsibilityWithDogs #NaughtyBeagle #Goberians #Puppies 45leftorrightpodcast.com Instagram: 45leftorrightpodcast Facebook: 45 Left Or Right Podcast Twitter: @45leftorrightpod

In Episode 14: "Summer Summer Summer Time" of the "45 Left to Right Podcast," freelance journalist and host Darisse Smith celebrates summer! She tells stories from her own childhood, especially her favorite vacation her family took to North Carolina. They took a spontaneous detour into whitewater rafting, and this became her favorite summer memory. Darisse talks about returning to North Carolina and whitewater rafting with her 12 year old son, and the desire of parents to cram in as many memories as possible into each summer. Did you know that summer vacations are a modern thing, and not out of the need for farm families to tend to crops? In fact, hot cities and mandatory school attendance were mostly responsible for our traditional summer breaks. Now, families spend summers traveling to experience new things, see new places, sometimes to see family, and, in parents' eyes, to create some core memories. The thing is, despite all of our efforts, kids usually remember things like the airplane emergency card, or, like Darisse's son, the rental cars of each trip. This doesn't change our need as adults to create and store our own vacation memories, though--for ourselves. #SummerVacation #SchoolsOutForSummer #FamilyVacations #SummerCoreMemories #VacationPlanning #45LeftOrRightPodcast #HistoryOfSummerBreaks #UrbanHeatIslands #MandatorySchoolAttendance #180DaysOfSchool

In this episode, Darisse explores the evolving significance of birthdays as we age. The birthday parties Darisse's Mom threw for her in childhood were epic, and childhood milestones come in rapid fire--"10" is double digits, "13" is when you become a teenager, "16" you can drive a car, "18" you become an adult, and so on. As you get older, though, the milestones become further apart, and less exciting. Who remembers when they turned "25," and you could rent a car? Boring. Darisse and her husband, Jeff, turn 46 within just two weeks of each other, so she talks to him about the fun birthdays they have had in the past together, but how they become less and less exciting as the numbers increase. Darisse shares a history of birthday celebrations, tracing their origins from ancient religious ceremonies to modern-day traditions like birthday cakes and candles, celebrating children, and giving presents. Darisse provides insight into her own feelings of getting older, especially as she turns "46" on June 13th. #BirthdayMilestonesAsWeAge #ChildrensBirthdayParties80s #ChildrensBirthdayParties90s #AgingInOur40s #AgingInOur50s #HistoryOfBirthdayParties 45leftorrightpodcast.com

Darisse uses the hobbies she has had in her life to tell the story of her life, or at least, some highlights of it. She talks about how triathlon united her and her husband, Jeff, when she was deployed to Iraq, and he was left behind in the United States, far away from any family. She has had some unhealthy hobbies, like drinking, that led to some amazing friendships. A weekly neighborhood ritual of Bunco led to friends that they have kept in touch with for 10 years. She tells tales of cycling with Jeff as they were in the early years of marriage, and how swimming got her through trauma, injuries, and a loss of identity as she transitioned out of the Army. Darisse talks about how our hobbies certainly change as we age, though not always in the ways that we expect. Hobbies are not frivolous things, but rather an expression of how we live. This episode is a personal essay with a lot of storytelling about her life. Listen and enjoy, and hopefully you can relate with your own hobby journey. #HobbiesTellAStory #HobbiesAsWeAge #HobbiesAtMidlife #OceanSwimming #Triathlon #JiuJitsuJourney #PodcastAboutMidlife #40sPodcast #VeteranStories Instagram: @45leftorrightpodcast Facebook: 45 Left or Right Podcast Twitter/X: @45leftorright 45 Left or Right Podcast showcases stories from an interesting life to discuss the issues of midlife.

Our hobbies are not trivial things we do to pass the time. They are often the only way to express our passions throughout our lives. #Hobbies #HobbiesTellAStory #HobbiesAsWeAge

Mental Load. This has been a buzzword on social media, and in conversations between fellow Moms for a long time. But what is it? Darisse Smith asked her friends to provide audio clips of their mental loads, and this really illustrates the volume and variety of what Moms must manage daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally and yearly. Explore the 'Mental Load of Mothers' in the latest episode of the 45 Left to Right Podcast, where we dive into the invisible burdens of emotional labor and household management that mothers face daily. Featuring personal stories, expert insights, and research, our discussion sheds light on the challenges of multitasking, planning, and emotional well-being in motherhood. This episode is not a bashing of men, or of the typical relationship partner, but rather just an illumination of what women, and Moms do for their families, generally without any regard for their own needs. This episode emphasizes the importance of shared family responsibilities and seeks to foster appreciation for mothers' multifaceted roles. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the mental load in modern parenting. We are in the throes of Maycember, so throw on this podcast to listen to while waiting on the kids in the pick-up/drop-off line, or to and from their activities. #MentalLoadOfMothers #ParentingChallenges #EmotionalLabor #MotherhoodUnveiled #FamilyResponsibilities #ModernParenting #InvisibleBurden #MotherhoodSupport #SharedParenting #45LeftToRightPodcast #MomLifeBalance #ParentingInsights #Maycember

In Episode 10: The Pull of Motherhood, Part 2, Darisse discusses the sometimes difficult yet rewarding journey of stay-at-home moms in the Episode 10 of the 45 Left or Right Podcast. Darisse interviews her best friend, Claire Lamp Yule, a dedicated homeschooling mom who is navigating the challenges and triumphs of motherhood in midlife. This episode offers a contrast to Episode 9, where Darisse talks to her other best friend and Claire's identical twin sister, Emily, who is a working Mom. This episode offers an intimate look into the daily realities, societal misconceptions, and emotional depth of stay-at-home parenting. From homeschooling insights to personal anecdotes, this podcast sheds light on the unseen labor and unparalleled joys of raising children at home. Join Darisse and Claire for a compelling dialogue that celebrates the resilience and commitment of midlife moms everywhere. Perfect for listeners seeking connection, humor, and understanding in the journey of parenting and homeschooling. Tune in to redefine your perceptions of motherhood and discover the unspoken strength within the stay-at-home mom community. #StayAtHomeMomLife #MidlifeMotherhood 4. #ParentingPodcast #MotherhoodInMidlife #ChallengesOfMotherhood #ParentingJourney #MomLifeUnfiltered #RealTalkParenting #FamilyLifePodcast Instagram: @45leftorrightpodcast Facebook: 45 Left or Right Podcast Twitter/X: @45leftorright

In this episode, Darisse interviews her best friend, Dr. Emily Balanky, about trying to manage both motherhood and a full-time career as an OB-GYN. Emily shares her journey navigating a highly demanding career with a challenging schedule while raising three daughters with her husband, Matt. Emily offers insight into the creative solutions and decisions she and Matt have made to balance professional responsibilities with active parenthood, highlighting the importance of flexibility, support, and adapting to unforeseen challenges. As is standard in this podcast, Darisse goes into extensive statistics that show the broader issues working mothers must negotiate, especially in finding childcare for young children all the way up to older teenagers. Can we have it all? Do we want it all? Darisse contrasts expectations with reality, acknowledging the societal pressures and personal dilemmas faced by mothers striving to fulfil both career and family roles effectively. Darisse shares her personal stories in how she had very unrealistic dreams regarding motherhood and a career, and how her views have evolved. This candid exploration not only sheds light on the personal stories of the host and her guest but also encourages listeners to reflect on the nuanced dynamics of modern motherhood, work-life balance, and the diverse experiences of women navigating similar journeys.

After I yelled at a rude young guy at the gym last week, I thought about how more irritable I have been in my 40s. Just 5 years ago, I would have seethed silently to myself as I worked out, but I never would have lectured him in his rude ways. With every slam of the weights at the bottom of his deadlift, I found my blood pressure rising, and I just could not handle holding it in anymore. This dude had to be stopped! Otherwise known as grumpy old man or grumpy old woman syndrome, midlife rage is absolutely a thing. Midlife rage has many sources, including perimenopause and menopause in women, and lowered testosterone in men. In this episode, I give more details about my encounter at the gym, discuss the sources of midlife rage for both men and women, and talk about times when perhaps our anger is valid, and worth expressing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Darisse tells the tales of sleep medication confusion, like getting lost in her own tiny bathroom, or not being able to find her side of the bed. Darisse has not slept in a couple of decades, and, she's guessing, neither have you. What about aging makes insomnia more common, despite neediing more sleep? Darisse sorts through all of the copious and largely ineffective volumes of sleep advice to provide you maybe a glimmer of hope for that insomnia. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two experienced baseball, soccer, martial arts, parkour, etc. Moms discuss how hard it is to get their kids to all of their games and practices fully uniformed and on time. The search for cleats, socks, belts, gloves, soccer balls, bats, shin guards and even yes, cups, is stressful, and unnecessarily difficult at times. Coordinating their kids' multiple sports schedules could be a full-time job, and a Mom has to be organized (with color charts) to get it all done. Despite the efforts of being a sports Mom, the multiple lessons kids learn from playing sports is worth it--physical activity and gross and fine motor skills, better mental health, sportsmanship, teamwork, building resiliency, and even improving academic success. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I tell the sad story pf my unsuccessful stalking of playground Moms when we first moved to Southern California, and their subtle ways of ignoring my delightful personality as well as my desperation for friendship. As we age, it becomes much more difficult to make friends, especially if we have children. Making friends when you are a parent translates into a complicated matchmaking process--not only must you click with fellow parents, your children must at least get along with each other. Even without children, many adults close themselves off to a certain amount of friends due to time constraints, and not having the bandwidth to manage too many friends. Is there a way to open ourselves up to new friendships when we are already low on time and energy? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

45 Left or Right Podcast is hosted by Darisse Smith, a former Army helicopter pilot, freelance journalist, and middle aged Mom, wife and general person. On this episode, Darisse discusses her neverending search to find a lifelong career, from where it began in college, and after feeling purposeless after transitioning out of the Army. Darisse tells the story of pursing jobs in medical Sales, Customer Service, Stand Up Comedy, a Stay at Home Mom, and finally, Journalism. Once we reach our mid 30s, 40s and 50s, we begin to evaluate our life's purpose, and can begin to scrutinize our choice of career, while also realizing we need to make a living to support ourselves and our families. Should we expect to find a career that fulfills a passion and our financial goals? Are these expectations realistic? Can we be happy in "just" having a job, and not one that feeds a personal passion?#middleage #newpodcast #career #lifespassion #careerstruggles Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join host Darisse Smith, a former Army helicopter pilot, freelance journalist, Mom, wife and yes, someone who is middle-aged. This show will talk about all the highs, lows, lefts and rights of parenthood, long-term relationships, aging and the challenges and benefits of being to the left and right of age 45. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Earlier this year, my son came up with an extraordinarily creative way to handle a bully. He didn't tell us, his parents, about the bullying, so he took matters into his own hands! In this episode, I talk to him about what happened, how he chose to do what he did, and what he thinks of the more passive advice parents give about bullies. The bullying that happens in schools is especially hard because the solutions parents and the administrations in schools have are ineffective at best. I found some research into alternative ways of communicating to bullies to help curtail bullies and their stupid tactics. Kids are cruel, and often the targets of the bullying suffer silently. What the heck can parents do to help their kids with cruelty in their schools? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I was in my 20s, I broke my tailbone and my ribs, and felt better within a couple of weeks. Once I neared 40, though, even a muscle strain took two months to heal. In Episode 2 of 45 Left or Right Podcast, I explore aging and its impact on our bodies and how our bodies recover as we age. Our cells actually change in midlife! I also share the completely useless advice that experts usually give us to help. Seriously, the experts just repeat themselves over and over with filler words like "meditate," and "breathwork." Experts also do not seem to realize that though yoga is amazing for the body, it is not a restful exercise. It's hard! Instagram: @45leftorrightpodcastX: @45leftorright Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.