How To Get In The Right Mindset And Face Failure Head On

This week I am going to be talking about something that has made a huge difference to my business – my mindset. This is a common topic in the business space and having done a lot of work on my personal mindset when it comes to business, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the topic. As well as focusing on mindset, I also want to look at failure. Whilst most people look at failure as a bad thing, I want to discuss why I am now happy that I fail every once in a while. This will be a slightly different episode than what you’re used to, but I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed recording it.

KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST

• Imagining big goals is a great way to set your dreams into motion. Although you don’t need ‘huge’ goals to see, dreaming big is a great way to put yourself in the best mindset.
• Don’t feel stupid for setting yourself big goals, it’s okay to dream big.
• If you don’t feel as though you have the support when it comes to your goals, try to surround yourself with people that focus on their mindset. Whether that means listening to podcasts or joining like-minded communities.
• Sometimes, you have to accept that you can’t control your goals. What you can control, however, is the actions you take to achieve them.
• Ask yourself ‘’honestly, what is the worst that could happen?’’
• Rather than thinking ‘’what if they say no?’’ think about what would happen if they say yes.

THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO REMEMBER ABOVE ALL ELSE…

If you let the fear of failure stop you from doing something, you have failed already.

HIGHLIGHTS YOU SIMPLY CAN'T MISS

• Should You Set Big Goals for Your Business? – 02:35
• Failure Is Okay – 11:50
• My ‘Scary’ Experiences of Facing Failure Head On– 19:07

Transcript below

Speaker 1: (00:33)

Welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. How the devil are you? I hate having stopped the podcast because I feel like it started the same way every single week. Also, while I'm talking about this, when I interview people, I start out the same way. But you know what happens if I try and mix it up? I mess it up. So I just think, hopefully it's so sure and we move on quickly that you'll just not realise that I start the same way pretty much every single week. Of course, now I've drawn into your attention. You're going to go back and listen or next time you'll think, Oh yeah, she did. Um, I've seen maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. Anyway. So I hope you've had a good week and I hope you enjoyed last week's episode where we were talking about going live and if you haven't gone live already, please do so and please tag me and Tiffany in cause we really, really want to hear it.

(01:24)

So this week I'm going to talk about something a little bit different. I'm going to talk a little bit mindset-y. Now, I don't know whether you guys liked these episodes or whether you prefer me to be like proper tactics, strategies, tools, tips, but you know, honestly, this is the thing that's made the biggest difference in my business. And when I look back, I was looking for content for these episodes, thinking about what can I talk about? And I went back through the Academy that because it's a great place to find what people are asking and then I think, Oh actually that would make a great episode or I can create something around that. So for me it's a really, really good resource. And I, and I was looking back and I find a couple of posts that all came down to mindset and how they felt about their business and how they were struggling.

Should You Set Big Goals for Your Business?

Speaker 1: (02:13)

So I wanted to focus around this, but I also wanted to focus on the fact as to talking about failure and why I am now happy to fail and I wasn't previously. So if that's okay with you, that's what we're going to be talking about today. So let's kick this off by talking about goals. And this was specifically the question that was asked in the Academy about one of the members of the Academy said that they were in two minds about setting big, hairy, scary goals. Now I don't know whether you know, there are lots of people out there like from celebrities to business owners to whoever that do a lot around manifestation and trying to imagine the big goals they want. And I am all for this. Okay. I never used to be, I have to say this, I, when I started the business, I didn't even think about mindset at all. Didn't think I had to, I didn't think it would affect the business. And then I quickly learned that for me and my business actually it has a really positive impact.

(03:18)

Now, I'm not gonna say that it's gonna be the same for everybody else, but I want you to try on this episode, just keep slightly open minded about things if this isn't really your bag and just think whether this may or may not work for you. Like I said, I am very, what's the word? I don't think it's cynical as such, but I think I would, I like facts and figures. So I wanted the science behind it all. And of course some stuff that just isn't science. But in my mind, the way I think about all this is if I do these things and they don't hurt anybody and I don't feel like an idiot doing it then, and it makes a difference in any way, shape or form, then surely it's gotta be a good thing. Whether it was that that made the difference or whether it was something else, it doesn't matter. The fact is it made a difference.

(04:04)

So, so anyway, I just wanted to kind of check that caveat in there. So let's start with the goals thing. So like I said, I am a big fan of setting goals of dreaming big. Now there is some science around this about the fact that your brain doesn't know the difference between a imagined thing and an actual memory apparently. Also I'm not scientist, so don't quote me on that. But anyway, basically your by imagining how it can be and what it might be in those big goals, you are almost kind of setting things in motion to get you to that. That's the way I read that. So I am a big fan of goals. I write my goals at every single morning. I say every morning, every morning I do my morning routine. Which of late has not been as much as I didn't liked cause I'm not very good at doing it while I'm out and about on the road or when life gets busy, which is terrible cause that's the time I should be doing it.

(04:55)

Anyway so I write my goals out and some of the goals are crazy. Like some of them you would look at and think, who are you kidding? Or people might look at and go, who you kidding? And the question and the group was around the fact of do you ever feel like you're telling yourself, who am I kidding? How ridiculous is this? The thing that this is actually gonna happen. So for instance, one of my goals, I'm very honest about sharing all this with you, but I think it's important and hopefully you'll know by now I'm a very honest person. So one of my goals is that I want 100,000 pounds sat in my savings account, you know, rainy day money. Wouldn't that be nice?

(05:30)

And another of my goals is I only want to fly first class or business class because quite honestly, if you've ever flown first or business, which I've been very fortunate for mainly reasons of points and because I fly so much, but oh wow. It is like a whole different world. So imagine how amazing it would be to be doing that. Like every flight I ever took. So I put some of these crazy amazing goals in there. And like I said, my, my, one of my Academy members talked in the group and asked the question about, you know, do you ever feel like I'm an idiot? What am I thinking? Who am I kidding? And she also talked around the fact that maybe other people in her circle of not influenced, but basically the people who are very close to her didn't see those common goals either and didn't necessarily believe that they might happen.

Speaker 1: (06:18)

So there was two things here just quickly. The first one was, do you feel like an idiot when you're writing them down? And I said to her, I totally get why you might feel like that. Because sometimes when things are tough, when they're hard, when you've had a bad week, when you were hoping that something would happen and it didn't come off, sometimes you do look at them or think, who am I kidding? But I have to say 99% of the time I'm pretty fine on it. And I really do kind of let myself just daydream about it. I let myself think, Oh my gosh, imagine how amazing that's going to be. And the kind of crazy thought is that I am sat here going that is going to happen and I do believe that it's going to happen and I'm doing everything in my power to get there.

Speaker 1: (07:03)

So that was the one thing that sometimes, you know, do you feel stupid? And I know, um, we talked in the group about the fact that Jim Carey once wrote himself a check for, I think it was like $1 million for a, for a film. And he wrote it when literally he was getting no work at all and he was like broke and wasn't the actor that he is today. And he wrote it with a date on, in the future. And by that date he got, he was just signed to do, I think it was Dumb and Dumber and got $1 million for his acting in Dumb and Dumber. So like I get it and I think if we did something and there's loads of celebrities that do this sort of thing. So I am like all a big fan of that. But I do get that if you don't feel very confident in yourself or if you're struggling a little bit that you might look at it and go, that's never going to happen.

Speaker 1: (07:54)

But I urge you to not think about that and to think about, imagine what it's going to feel like when it happens and you know what and if it does, absolutely flip and amazing. If it doesn't, you might have reached further than you ever thought that you would have done if you hadn't have drummed that far ahead. So let's say you want to make, I don't know, 500,000 this year, and that is so far out of your reach that you're like, well that's just crazy. But if you'd set yourself a goal of 50,000 then you would only get 50,000 because in your head that's all you're aiming for. When you set some crazy massive goals, so right in front of you, then your head kind of has to stretch that bit further about how do I get there and it's not about and then we're going to come to this a bit more.

Speaker 1: (08:40)

But it's not necessarily about the actual getting to the goal in the end. It's about the action that you're taking to get there. Because if you are trying to get to 500,000 you're going to take many more actions and work much, much harder than necessarily you might do if you are only trying to aim for 50,000 let's say.

(08:58)

Okay, so that was the first bit. And the second bit was I felt really bad about it because she talked about the fact of the support wasn't necessarily there. That's really, really tough because you know what, when I first went into this mindset and mindfulness side of the business, it was brand brand new to me and I sat there at times and thought, what a load of rubbish. Like what are you on? That it's not going to happen. Don't be ridiculous. And my husband, who I've talked about lots of times, is an engineer in the military, no less. So like not only does he have an engineering brain, but he's also a military person. So he is the furthest away from wuwu mindset stuff than anybody I know.

(09:41)

So again, having those conversations with him and trying to get him to understand why I was interested in it or the effect it might have on my business was a bit of a tricky one because he didn't get it necessarily straight off either. So what I did was I kind of tried to get him more and more involved with the business. I would often, and I do often part of my morning routine, I play podcasts and I listen to podcasts. So I was listening to more and more podcasts like James Wedmore and Brooke Castillo. I'm going to hook up to both of those in the show notes because they are great podcasts, especially around kind of mindset and coaching and that sort of thing.

Speaker 1: (10:18)

And do you know what? He kind of listened to it and almost by osmosis he kind of started to take it in and he started to see it, but not only did he see or understand it a bit more because I was kind of playing these things and he was like, Oh, that's interesting. And he kept a very open mind. But secondly, he started to see the effect it had on me and my business, I. E. the more I put into my mindset, the more I worked on this, the more I was motivated, the more I thought I get achieve bigger and better things. So that's kind of one of the things I wanted you to think about when it comes to goal setting. Are you goal setting? Are those goals literally like half a mile in front of you? Or are they literally wrapped around the world? Because mine, mine probably aren't as crazy as they could be compared to some.

Failure Is Okay

Speaker 1: (11:03)

And I'm not sat there saying I'm a prime minister or I'm going to be a millionaire. I'm, you know, I suppose in one way you could say they're fairly modest, but they are, you know, I don't have a hundred thousand pounds in my savings account or anywhere near that right now. So, you know, so for me they are a good stretch in front. So, okay. So that's the first thing. Setting those goals. But like I said it, the mindset thing isn't around necessarily the goal setting. It's about the actions you take in order to start getting towards those. And this was a massive shift for me now when I not even when I started my business or forever and a day. I hate failing. I'm very competitive. I am also a perfectionist and I get embarrassed really easily or I used to get embarrassed really easily. I had like a fool, this podcast.

Speaker 1: (11:53)

So why I don't get embarrassed about that. I have no idea. But I think it's, cause I'm sat in this room just talking to myself like a slightly strange person and I forget that you guys are got me in your ears and you're listening to me right now. But anyway, we won't think about that. So, so yeah, I those things I hate failing, perfectionist, you know, want to be brilliant at everything, competitive and the fact that I hate, I don't like looking like a fool. So anything like putting myself out there slightly that then might give me a response I don't want, I would never have done in a million years. I always worked in my comfort zone. I've worked in marketing for 15 years, so I was never really out of my comfort zone in terms of that. I happened to like speaking, so that didn't really put me out of my comfort zone the whole lot.

Speaker 1: (12:41)

Obviously different events have put me more out of my comfort zone, but generally I kind of stayed pretty safe in what I was doing and then I started to want to work towards the online business and a couple of episodes ago I talked about the transition in the business that I've made and making and how that looks and some of the fear stuff that I've done there, but I wanted to transition over and I wanted to achieve more and do more and I just wasn't doing it. I was literally sat absolutely in the spot saying, yeah, I'm going to do that, I'm going to do that. And then when it came to anything tangible to move towards it, no, just didn't do it. I was too scared. And I think I've, I'm sure I've talked about this before, I definitely talked about in emails, but basically I went and joined James Wedmore's Business by Design and I went out to Laguna beach, beautiful Laguna beach, sat in a conference room with 200 of a very successful entrepreneurs and felt very much out of my depth.

Speaker 1: (13:43)

Although I had a good successful business that, well, I started a successful business,...