Unhinged: Discussing Mental Health

This week we have Doug’s uncle Murray back on the show to discuss how he lives a stress-free life and how that affects every aspect of his being. Even after being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, among other serious diseases, he continues to live happily with few, if any negative symptoms. Murray’s “Power of Your Belief System” methodology, coupled with his Simple Facts on stress, has kept him alive, making him a medical enigma to his doctors. We discuss Murray’s history of magic, hypnosis, and stress-free living, and how he has applied his beliefs to better his life, and those around him. Be sure to check out Murray’s documents below, which we refer to on the show. Remember, there is no try. Show resources: Stress – The Simple Facts (PDF – 468K) The Stress Scale (PDF – 210K) One Liners (PDF – 317K) I Understand (PDF – 494K)

On our last show, we discussed how one of Doug’s family members is seriously ill, and that was one of his triggers for his mood dropping. On today’s show, we announce that the family member in question is Doug’s uncle Murray, who was our guest on Episode #10. The thing about Murray, however, is that his entire way of thinking is about changing your beliefs to change your results. His doctors call him an enigma since he’s still alive. Murray attributes this to living a stress-free life. Murray provided for us his entire philosophy on stress, and we walk through it in this episode. Look below if you want to download some PDFs explaining his whole program. This is what he uses to live a stress-free life, and it might be helpful for those who experience a lot of anxiety and stress in their lives. This is part one of a series. In two weeks, we will have Murray on the show to answer your questions. If you have any questions you want us to read on the show, please comment below, or reach us at https://www.facebook.com/unhingedpodcast or Twitter at @unhingedpc. Show resources: Stress – The Simple Facts (PDF – 468K) The Stress Scale (PDF – 210K) One Liners (PDF – 317K) I Understand (PDF – 494K)

Doug’s personal life has been challenging lately, and this has, in part, been a cause for a mood drop in the last few days. Our plan for this show was to start by playing some music, maybe work on a new intro, and record the show. Instead, Doug told me to just start recording as soon as we got online because he wanted to explain his current mood and some of the triggers behind it. Being a person with a mental illness is a challenge on any normal day, but when some serious real life issues arise, it can be downright devastating. A close family member of Doug’s is critically ill, and this news has affected him greatly. On top of that, future plans for Doug’s career as a certified peer support counselor are now a bit foggy. The good news is that during our conversation, it was obvious to me that he was much farther from the ledge than he has been with other recent mood drops. He was not being a complete defeatist, and he was clearly outlining what he knows he should do and not do to get better. In other words, he’s come a long way to being able to manage these drops more successfully. Talking about it with his support system also helps, so he will be reaching out to his siblings. The bottom line is that he now knows to deal with each issue one at a time, move on to the next, and just chillax.

Today’s show is mostly an announcement of our new plan to do a show every other week, rather than weekly. We discuss a few reasons why we decided to test out this new schedule. It should actually be good for both the quality of the show as well as our personal lives. With Doug feeling mostly better for nearly 4 and a half months now, he’s starting to think beyond the day-to-day challenges and looking more toward his future. We will still meet every week like we normally did to record the show, but now one week will be more about hanging as friends, playing music, and working on future goals. This will also give us the opportunity to potentially improve the show quality by having more time to lineup guests, flesh out facts, or get a little deeper on some subjects. Toward the end of the show, we included a clip of our pre-show conversation where we discussed some interesting things about anxiety, public speaking, and stagefright. Nothing too detailed, but we figured it was interesting enough to add to this episode and maybe plant a seed for a future, more in depth discussion.

This week we welcome special guest Avery, a friend of the show’s, and to us. Avery and Doug share a connection through both being somewhere on the spectrum. Technically, Avery is toward the Asperger’s side. We discuss when and how each of them were first diagnosed, and how they have managed to overcome some of their challenges. We also chat about the “gifts” that many people on the spectrum have and how it can sometimes be more of a curse. We’ve talked about Doug’s hyperfocusing abilities, and Avery has an eidetic memory and can recall facts with extreme accuracy. We did put Avery to the test trying to recall what year certain songs came out, and he was impressive! Ultimately, people on the spectrum learn differently, so early and accurate diagnosis can help put them on the right path. Awareness is key! Show resources: Autism Spectrum Disorder (NIH) ASD Mental Health Blog

On this week’s episode, we discuss how important perspective is to live a positive life. Doug has been realizing how the little positive things in life make a big difference if you stop to appreciate them. Focusing on the positives, no matter how small, helps push out the negatives. Doug also brings up whether he should ask his brother and sister why they did not visit him during his brain surgery in 2012. During that time, he was estranged from his family, partially due to a lack of understanding on their part about the disease, and partially because of how deep a depression he was going through then. With Doug’s newly found positive perspective, and his family coming around to what mental illness is all about, he feels it might be the right time to find out what was going through their minds during that time, with no judgment on his part. They are different people now who are part of Doug’s support system, and the past is “water under the bridge”. He plans to talk about it with them soon. Quick note: This episode opens with a short guitar jam that Doug put together with his new Fender rig. It’s simply Doug letting loose and experimenting, which shows how far he’s come lately. Here’s to hope in 2018!

In our first episode of 2018, we start with a short and fun guitar jam, which highlights the mood for the new year. Doug is feeling much better, and after receiving the love and generosity from some of our friends and listeners, he’s entering the new year on a wave of positivity. The bulk of this episode was recorded on January 2nd, which happened to be my birthday. Doug contacted me and said he had some things to say that should be recorded for the show, so I went ahead and recorded our conversation. For Christmas, I got Doug a Fender Squier guitar and a Fender amp. His acoustic guitar, though a beautiful instrument, was not totally filling his void for musical expression, and his last electric guitar had to be sold last year for financial reasons (plus it ended up not being the guitar he thought it would be anyway). In any case, getting a Fender back in his hands was enough to trigger a positive psychological change. We mostly talk about music and guitars in this episode, but the underlying tone is one of hope. Doug talks about self-care and how to try to stay positive by surrounding yourself with a strong support system.

Our last episode, Episode #53: Hey Brother, was a powerful one for Doug. His mood was pretty low when we started recording, but by the end of the show, his mood had improved greatly, especially after a conversation he had with his sister Laurie. After hearing that episode back, he got to hear what he sounds like when his mood is very low, and meeting his monster directly led to a breakthrough. In this addendum to that episode, we wanted to end the year with a positive note about what we have learned about psychology, neurology, and how each plays a part in your mental well-being. Everything Doug said in episode #53 was coming from a place of cognitive distortion. This is the monster that blocks out the reasoning parts of the brain and is a relentless beast of negativity. Confronting that monster from a different, more positive perspective made Doug realize how closed-minded and stubborn that beast can be. Seeing how his mood improved so quickly after social interactions also brings to light how looking outside of yourself in trying times can help bring back positivity and hope. This is a short 20 minute discussion that tries to make sense of all this, and, more importantly, gives us much renewed hope for a more positive and happy 2018!

We’re back for our final show of 2017 (we’ll be back in January). This episode is a little bit different since the bulk of it is an actual recording of our typical pre-show planning discussion. Doug had mentioned in the past that we should probably start recording these talks, and this week that’s just what I did. Since that conversation got pretty personal and fairly deep, we decided to just play it as the main topic of this week’s show. What follows below is a timeline of how the episode is structured. We start with a song clip and a discussion of the past two weeks. The full pre-show discussion starts nearly 19 minutes in. 0:00 – 00:57 Clip of original song “Hey Brother” 00:58 – 01:20 Unhinged Intro 01:21 – 18:55 We explain a bit about why we were absent for the last two weeks. Doug talks a bit about his struggles this holiday season so far, and we briefly chat about traumatic brain injuries in sports and the death of a UFC fighter. 18:56 – 01:07:02 Recording of pre-show discussion. This is the meat of this episode where Doug and I talk freely, usually to prepare the show for the day, but this time we discussed Doug’s slight downturn in mood in the last two weeks. He starts the conversation in a pretty low state, upset about his lot in life and feeling insecure about his future. We go back and forth for a while on feelings, distortion, and socialization. The conversation gets interrupted by a call from Doug’s sister. We ended our pre-show discussion after Doug talked to Laurie, and at that point recorded the opening to the this show. 01:07:03 – 01:08:25 I explain how Doug’s mood had shifted noticeably after our discussion and his interaction with his sister. The social interaction had improved his general state greatly. This is good data. The next day (Monday), Doug and I talked again and his turnaround was even more pronounced. He even admitted how he felt better after hearing his sister’s voice the day before. UPDATE: We just posted an addendum to this episode! Check it out!  

Hello listeners! The holiday season is upon us, and this is typically a hard time for a lot of people, especially those who suffer from mental illness. Depression can easily set in while being surrounded by celebrations, festive lights, and commercialism. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real thing and can be very serious. Last year, in episode #33, we discussed SAD and some ways to help overcome some of its symptoms. This year, as the season creeps in, both Doug and I have had some personal challenges. My dental work has not been particularly fun, but more importantly, Doug has been taking on a lot recently and has definitely felt the energy drain. He’s been volunteering more often at the MDAO… this time of year is tough for many and peer support is crucial. On top of that, he’s had his own mood struggles. All this has made getting a show done very difficult this month. Again, this week we cannot find the time or the mental wherewithal to do a show justice, so instead we decided to put out our first rerun! This is episode #33, from December 13th, 2016, titled “Don’t Be SAD”. In it we discuss the challenges of the season and try to offer some ways to help get through it unscathed. Our recommendations and opinions about SAD are still the same as last year, so this episode is still very relevant. Please enjoy last year’s SAD episode. We hope to be back next week with a holiday episode for 2017!

We start this episode with some interesting documentary suggestions and more discussions about curcumin, the wonder supplement. But more importantly, we welcome another special guest this week. In Episode #37, we talked to Doug’s nephew Mitchell Drew. This week we welcome Mitchell’s mother, and Doug’s sister, Laurie Drew. Listeners will know that Doug has recently started the healing process with his family. Laurie is a big part of that and she explains how it all went down. An open line of communication is the key to a healthy and loving family relationship, and now that the line has been opened, the healing can begin. Laurie also gives us good insight into how Doug and his siblings grew up and how each dealt with their own challenges. We also discuss how this disease can take a toll on friends and family, especially back when much less was known about mental illness. Now it’s about awareness and education. The more people know about it, the better equipped they become to interact with sufferers in non-damaging ways. Show resources: Glen Rogers documentary Curcumin 10 Brain Boosting Superfoods You Need To Add To Your Diet Family & Depression

We start this episode with a short improvised jam we call “Rambunctious”. The word popped into Doug’s head while recording, so we decided to add a weird vocal track repeating the word, just for fun. Interestingly, in this episode we welcome back special guest Nurit Adler, our favorite psychotherapist and clinical social worker, and discuss Attention Deficit Disorder. You know, that thing the doctors say your “rambunctious” child has. What Nurit is bringing to our attention is the problem of undiagnosed childhood A.D.D., which ultimately emerges as adult A.D.D., but only after having done other psychological damage along the way. When it’s undiagnosed, it can lead to other mental issues, such as depression and anxiety, not to mention the toll it takes on one’s self worth and confidence. Diagnosing early is key, but it’s never too late to explore the possibility that it might be lurking inside. Nurit talks about how to look for patterns of behavior that point to A.D.D. The idea of all this is to bring awareness to the issue so that ultimately more people will be diagnosed early. Early detection can save someone from a long life of suffering. Show resources: Nurit Adler B.A., M.A., R.S.W.

For our 50th episode, we start off with a clip of us singing the King’s X song “We Are Finding Who We Are”. In a way, it’s very relevant to what our show is all about. We look to the unknown future, with pain we have yet to experience, but know is coming. Those challenges can be overcome with the help of others. No mountain is too big to climb if you do it together. This is evident in the mere fact that we are on our 50th episode. It’s a milestone that took us nearly a year and half, with many ups and downs, including a 5 month hiatus. But we keep coming back to record another episode. Why? Because we’ve heard from some of our listeners that our show has made them feel like they’re not alone, that somehow we have provided just a little bit of comfort to a suffering mind. That gives us purpose, which is validating to both of us, but especially to Doug, who can turn his lifelong battle into something positive for other sufferers. This is a journey for both of us… an exploration of our fears, wants, and needs. We don’t have the answers, but we’re discovering them along the way. We are finding who we are. Forever is a mountain we’ve yet to climb Tears are a part of what is yet to leave behind Strength in numbers, all you need is two Everyone’s a winner, while still so many lose The volume of emotion erupting in our souls A quiet revelation quickly takes a hold Patience is a virtue, but she won’t always wait Dissension is the tension, it’s what we’ve learned to hate

It’s Halloween, which brings us to our special episode on FEAR. What scares us, and why? We talk about the horror movies that scared us growing up, and why we enjoy them. What is it about a good horror movie that gets our hearts racing? Why do we enjoy being scared? There’s science behind that and we talk about some of the theories. Besides scary movies, we also discuss other fears of ours, including heights, speed, public speaking, insects, and more. Through the study of fear, scientists can now identify what areas in the brain are responsible, hopefully leading to more accurate and successful treatments of anxiety. We all have fears. Sometimes they might seem irrational, but we know what scares us. Some fears are debilitating, and some can be fun. Our brains decide that for us, but with more research, we can hope to one day be able to reliably control the volume knob of our anxieties. Show resources: What horror movies do to your brain Horror Movie Scenes Help Researchers Identify Key Brain Circuits for Fear Processing Amygdala-hippocampal dynamics during salient information processing

In this episode, we discuss dreams and dreaming. What are dreams? Can they give us insights into our subconscious? Doug’s recent nightmare ultimately had a cathartic effect for him, bringing him closer to family. It was immediately followed by a very positive dream where his mother was a focal point. Each dream had a profound effect on his mood, but are these dreams just thoughts being processed randomly by the sleeping brain with no set intention? We also touch on lucid dreaming and binaural beats. Being able to control your dreams is an often sought after experience, and some binaural recordings are meant to help your brain reach that state. But can this be dangerous? Anecdotal evidence shows that some of these recordings can trigger intense nightmares in some people, which can lead to psychological trauma. One has to wonder if “brainwave entrainment” is worth it. Lastly, we discuss recurring dreams and Ed talks about one recurring dream he had as a child and what it might mean.

It was a long day of recording when we did this episode. But the reason is because we were having too much fun putting together a little song clip for the show’s intro. What song? Hint: see the title of this episode After 8 hours of fooling around on guitar and trying to make remote music recording work (latency is not your friend), we finally got to talking. The good news is that spirits are still high and Doug is still on the positive side of things. Of course, he is still concerned about relapsing, and treads lightly to try to avoid known triggers. The even better news is that the healing process between Doug and his family has started! He had two very good talks with his brother and sister, and the newly opened lines of communication promise to be the bridge that reunites them fully. Hooray for family! We also discuss the importance of refocusing one’s energies into the right channels. By changing negative patterns into actions that advance the good in one’s life, normalcy can slowly creep its way back. It takes work and is not easy, but it is a powerful tool in the arsenal of anyone with a mental illness.

This week, we first discuss how Doug’s mental state has improved and what he has been doing personally to make sure he can stay in a good place. This includes proper diet and supplements that help replenish the brain of important nutrients. His donated guitar has also helped bring music back into his life. Yes, we return to the topic of music and music therapy as we each go on to list our top 10 favorite songs of all time. We go through each one and explain what it means to us, why it’s on our list, and how it makes us feel. With Doug’s great knowledge of musical artists and rock history, he even goes into some details about each artist, many of which had to deal with their own mental issues or dependencies. We learn that many songs we discuss are rooted in past experiences, which is why we love to listen to them when times are good, but also why they can sometimes be hard to listen to when our mood is down. Doug’s Top 10 Songs: Matte Kudesai by King Crimson Let Go The Line by Max Webster Wooden Ships by Crosby, Stills & Nash Fantasy by Earth, Wind & Fire Time by Pink Floyd After the Love Has Gone by Earth, Wind & Fire Hammer to Fall by Queen Europa by Santana Woman of the World by Michael Hedges Still of the Night by Whitesnake Ed’s Top 10 Songs: Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Part I-V) by Pink Floyd Pride & Joy by Stevie Ray Vaughan Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin 5:15 by The Who I Just Want To Celebrate by Rare Earth Aguas de Marco by Elis Regina & Antonio Carlos Jobim With a Little Help From My Friends by Joe Cocker 25 Or 6 To 4 by Chicago Wooden Ships by Crosby, Stills & Nash Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

This week we discuss Doug’s recent one-word Facebook post, “Goodbye”, and how that cry for help showed him just how much support he really has. The struggle for mental health is best fought with loved ones who can support the sufferer when they need it most. A single word to show that no one is alone in this struggle can save a life. Thank you to our listeners and our friends on Facebook for all the love, encouragement, and concern. It means everything. Some outside factors came together all at once to form a nearly perfect storm of bad news that helped spiral Doug down the staircase to severe depression. Starting at 3 minutes and 24 seconds into the show, Doug gives some details about how close he really came to ending it all. WARNING: Possible Trigger Alert! If anyone listening is particularly sensitive right now, please know that this discussion might contain possible triggers, so please be cautious and either save this episode for another time, or skip the section between 3:24 to about 7:30. The good news is that Doug is currently feeling much better, partially due to the outpouring of support, which included the donation of a used acoustic guitar. This will help bring music back into his life, which is some of the best therapy a suffering musician can get.

This week we take a break from the heavy and serious topics and just have a lighthearted conversation. We recorded this podcast while connected to each other through video conferencing, so to us it felt more like we were both in one room just chatting. I think this made this show feel more conversational. Maybe in the future we’ll be able to record our videos as well and have a visual version of the show We do discuss Doug’s DBS check up and how he’s feeling generally. He’s been up and down currently, so it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster for him. He was up during this show. We continue discussing the possibility of Doug doing voice acting work just to try to make ends meet. He has recorded his first sample for a demo reel we’re putting together, and we play it on the show. It’s a start!

This episode was recorded on September 10th, 2017, also known as the 15th Annual World Suicide Prevention Day. This year’s theme is “Take a minute, change a life.” We discuss what this means and just how being there to listen to someone who is crying for help can quite literally save their life. Doug also discusses how his use of Adderall, and how the use of most mood drugs, can cause the body to deplete itself of key nutrients. Supplements such as CoQ10, magnesium, and some fatty acids like Omega-3’s, can greatly benefit anyone who is on mood stabilizers. Unfortunately, these tend to be a bit expensive, and becomes difficult for anyone who’s on disability to afford. Speaking of income, to help Doug’s financial situation, we have started to work on building a voice acting portfolio for Doug to start helping himself. I have always believed in Doug’s talent, not only musically, but in his unique voice characterizations. He can do accents, read narrations, and has great comedic timing. His only problem is that his brain makes it very difficult for him to put together a cohesive plan to get things done. His lack of confidence in making decisions holds him back. After discussing it with him, we plan to work together to tackle this project in baby steps that I help define. One step at a time, we will get there, and he will succeed! Show resources: World Suicide Prevention Day 2017 10 Brain Boosting Superfoods You Need To Add To Your Diet Eat Smart for a Healthier Brain (WebMD)

After nearly 5 months, Unhinged is back! We took an extended hiatus due to various reasons, the most important being Doug’s terrible relapse. Over these past few months, Doug has been suffering greatly, but now there seems to be a spark of relief as his DBS starts working again. This all started after his surgery to replace the batteries in his DBS unit, which is apparently very sensitive. The surgery requires the device to be switched off, and when it came back on, it was no longer working the same way it was before. It took several months and lots of trial and error to get it to come back to life, but now there seems to be some hope. During this time, Ed has also had a major life change by moving from California, where he’s been for the last 21 years, to Colorado, where a new adventure begins. The contrast between his positive life change and Doug’s hellish suffering is stark, but the friendship remains strong. In this episode, we discuss all these changes and how Doug is coping now. It’s our “welcome back” show, so we’re still ironing out some technical issues, but we’re glad to be back!

Originally, this episode was going to be focused on music and how specific songs affect our moods and emotions. Unfortunately, the battery in Doug’s DBS is running down and this has affected his mood. Since we want to give this music topic the attention and justice it deserves, we decided to postpone that topic until after Doug’s battery is replaced and he’s back in a more positive mood. In this short episode, we talk about the DBS battery, how Doug checks it, how it’s replaced, and ultimately how important that little piece of tech is for any DBS patient. As it stands, Doug is trying to get an appointment for the surgery as soon as he can, but the doctor that does it is out until the 20th of March, so he might have to wait up to of 3 weeks. We’re hoping the trickle charge lasts until then so he doesn’t fully relapse. Fingers crossed!

This is our 40th episode, and to celebrate this milestone, we’ve compiled the best clips from our first 40 shows, starting with our very first show in March of 2016, all the way to right now. Hear about Doug’s history with Deep Brain Stimulation and how the results have been both erratic and miraculous. We also play clips from our special guests over the past 40 shows, including Nurit Adler, Matt Moloney, Murray Goldsmith, and Mitchell Drew. Over the past year, Unhinged has covered Doug’s many remissions and relapses. One of our most talked about shows was episode #18, Relapse Part 2: The Call. It illustrates the darkness and desperation one can reach when consumed by the disease. On the upswing, we also cover much happier topics, including funny hypnosis stories, the Mandela Effect, and Doug’s current record-breaking remission. Tip for new listeners: This is a good episode to get up to speed quickly. Just be sure to go back and listen to the full shows to get much deeper into the subject matter!

We start this episode with the announcement that Doug’s current remission has now surpassed his 3-month record. Not only has this remission lasted the longest so far, but it is also the highest quality remission he has had yet! Looks like the DBS is in the zone, working its magic. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies, however, as he has to now learn how to process emotions in the context of a “normal-acting” brain, something he has very little experience doing. One thing that has stuck around is his anxiety. Besides a general anxiety that creeps in every now and then, there is the looming spectre of human interaction, which can trigger Doug’s social anxiety. We talk about how he’s handling his day-to-day anxiety, and what coping tools have helped him. Continuing the topic of anxiety, we touch on the differences between worry and anxiety. Can worry turn into anxiety that needs treatment? Show resources: When Worry Turns To Anxiety (WebMD)

This slightly shorter episode starts with us talking about an old, fairly obscure 80’s comedy movie, Rude Awakening. Find out why that movie is important to us, and how we came to discover it. We also talk about Ed’s mild travel anxiety as multiple trips are coming up, and how he handles it. He also talks about being a bit self-conscious, and how he’s doing on his new year’s resolution. We then revisit the topic of baby steps that we’ve talked about on other episodes. Doug explains how childhood trauma, like bullying, can lead to PTSD-like symptoms, and being self-aware is the key to getting better. Taking baby steps through stressful events can get you there with less anxiety. Doug’s current remission seems to be the highest quality remission he has experienced in a long time. Now that the neurology is working better, he has the ability to work on psychological issues. Working in peer support is a great step to help socialize and validate purpose. Working to better himself can go a long way now that he has the tools and support to do so. Hope is all around!

We continue the discussion about “Having” vs. “Being”, but this time we welcome special guest Mitchell Drew (rocket scientist, idealist, avid concert-goer) and ask his thoughts on the subject. Are we losing out on experiences in real life when we interact with our mobile devices? Or are those virtual social interactions just as valid? Are we sacrificing a full real-life experience for the ability to record the experience on video to preserve the memory? With three guitarists on, there’s no way we’re not going to mention music. We already know how powerful music can be for mental health, but when music makes us cry, the medicine can be painful and quite healing. Also, find out who has a Spotify playlist specifically designed to make them cry. We also talk about how healthier foods can mean a healthier brain. Science tells us that certain types of foods can help promote brain health. A few tweaks to your diet can start you down the path to wellness if you know what foods to avoid (aspartame), and which to seek out (omega-3’s). Self-awareness is key… you have to acknowledge yourself to be able to improve yourself. Show resources: Eat Smart For a Healthier Brain (WebMD)

This episode begins with some discussion over technology and socialization. Do today’s modern habits of burying ourselves in our tech devices isolate us from being social? Is social networking helping us become more or less connected with other humans? We both take slightly different sides on this issue. Doug’s current month-long remission from any depressive symptoms has him working hard. He talks about becoming more self-aware and how he now has to learn how to control his anxiety as he socializes more and more in real life. It’s a good problem to have. This leads us to the topic of productive vs. unproductive worry. Worrying about things that are out of your control is unproductive, but when you can remove an obstacle that you CAN control, this is called “productive worry”. We give some examples and talk about how this is a good tool to have in your mental health arsenal. Show resources: Do you sabotage yourself with worry? (PsychologyToday) What is Productive Worry? (PsychologyToday) Mood Disorders Association of Ontario

In the first Unhinged episode of 2017, we discuss an interesting phenomenon called the Mandela Effect. Think your memory is accurate? Think again. The Mandela Effect is when large groups of people all share the same false memory, typically a memory that can be easily confused or distorted by similar or related memories. In psychology, this is called confabulation. They explain this concept in detail in the 80’s film Shazaam, where Sinbad plays a genie. Remember that movie? Since it’s a new year, we all tend to make our yearly New Year’s Resolutions. Are these resolutions destined to fail? It depends on how you think of them. We talk about setting life goals and how the new year is a great blank slate, or “tabula rasa”, to begin a conscious change in behavior that can help one achieve his goals. Finally, we get into Doug’s current and very positive mental state. His DBS continues to work its magic, coupled with weekly social interactions as a peer support worker at the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario. Not only is he getting out and interacting with people, but he’s actually helping other sufferers. His 47 years of life experience living with this disease has essentially created an expert in peer support. Go Doug! Show resources: MandelaEffect.com Confabulation (Wikipedia) Mood Disorders Association of Ontario

In our final show of 2016, we begin with a quick recap of the past year’s episodes, covering how Doug’s mood has fluctuated throughout. Luckily, we’re ending the year on a high note with Doug feeling some relief and successfully starting on his new path as a peer support worker. We then move on to discussing the holiday season and all its trials for those who suffer. There are many triggers this time of year that can lead to worsening depression and anxiety. We list several and offer up some possible coping mechanisms for each. From rearranging your furniture, to avoiding crowds, we provide some easy to follow suggestions that can help alleviate the holiday stress. It’s all about avoiding the negative, embracing the positive, and changing routines. Happy Christmahannukwanzadan! We’ll see you next year!

After a three-week hiatus, we’re back just in time for the holiday season! These past three weeks have been very dark for Doug, but he’s finally emerging from the shadows. With another tweak to his DBS settings, he has seen a shift from severe to moderate, which is definitely the direction he needs to go. We start this episode with an update on his mood, and also talking about the successful GoFundMe campaign I started for Doug that raised nearly $2,500 (THANK YOU!). The good news continues with Doug’s acceptance into the peer support program for the Mood Disorder Association of Ontario. Next, we discuss Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is also known as winter depression, winter blues, or seasonal depression. As the holiday season arrives, SAD cases rise due to being exposed to less sunlight as the mornings start later and evening begins earlier during the winter season. And finally, we talk about some of the treatments available for SAD sufferers. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Symptoms, Causes & Treatment Procedures Show resources: Mood Disorders Association of Ontario Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Symptoms, Causes & Treatment Procedures (psytreasure.com)

It’s been an extremely tough couple of weeks. We didn’t end up doing a show last week, partially due to scheduling conflicts, but also because Doug has fallen into a very deep depression and has yet to climb out of it. His mood has gotten progressively worse, to the point where he is now teetering on the edge of hopelessness. This episode is a phone conversation we had after two weeks of very little communication. It is Doug explaining how he is feeling and how hard it is for him to stay in the game and fight. Doing the podcast has been therapeutic in many ways, but it also adds a level of stress in Doug’s life, and when he’s in such a down mood, any little stressor in unhealthy for him. On that note, we decided to take a short/temporary break from the podcast until Doug feels a bit better. We’ll try to keep posting relevant stories on our site or on Facebook, but more importantly, Doug needs this time to regroup and heal.

The importance of a solid support network is typically underrated, but is tantamount to the well-being of someone with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue. Family and friends that see through the stigma and understand that it’s a disease can be a very important pillar in the support system of sufferers. Perhaps just as important is peer support. Real peer support comes from someone who has fought their own demons and understands the anguish on an intimate level. They are trained in how to talk to and comfort sufferers, and can relate to them on a more personal level. There’s an instant level of trust with someone who has been there before, and that can open up the conversation and act as therapy. NOTE: We had some technical/network issues with Skype during the show, so the sound quality is not as good as usual. We apologize for that and did our best to clean up the audio during editing.

In today’s episode, we welcome special guest Matt Moloney, an old co-worker and friend of Doug’s from years past. Matt talks to us about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Asperger’s Syndrome. Matt’s son Nathan was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, and what Matt has learned is that raising a child who is socially challenged has made him a better person. He is an advocate for awareness and pushes for the acceptance of these children into “normal” society rather than being marginalized by a system that doesn’t understand them. We also learn that people who fall within the autism spectrum do not consider themselves broken in any way. A term now being used is “neurodiverse”, which means that they simply lie on a part of humanity’s full spectrum where they are as not as well-equipped to handle social or emotional interactions. The majority of the world’s people would be classified as “neurotypical” by contrast. Just as one person may not have an affinity for, say, drawing, a neurodiverse person may not be good in social situations, but they usually do show very high intelligence and may hyperfocus on one or two talents and excel at them. It’s a topic we have not yet covered, and we thank Matt for joining us to explain what it’s all about. Very interesting and eye-opening! NOTE: We had some technical/network issues with Skype during the show, so the sound quality is not as good as usual. We apologize for that and did our best to clean up the audio during editing. Matt and his son Nathan

We welcome Doug back in this episode, but he’s still fighting through severe depression and anxiety. Apparently, this time, he actually felt the trigger of his downturn. It occurred after a comment from someone he looks up to totally took the wind out of his sails. With Doug’s delicate amygdala, any negative external stimuli can trigger a downward spiral, and that’s exactly what happened. Seeking help, he managed to get a quick appointment to have his DBS adjusted. The intensity of the current setting was turned up a notch, and now it’s a waiting game. Unfortunately, relief could take days, months, or even years. Of course, we’re hoping for days, since his last DBS adjustment seemed to work fairly quickly. He’s still hoping to become a peer support counselor, but he will have to slow things down a bit to avoid any possible negative triggers. In the meantime, he keeps fighting, but will take on fewer challenges at once… it’s all about baby steps. Show resources: Mood Disorders Association of Ontario

If you listened to our last show, you know Doug has been feeling much better since the DBS adjustment was made maybe 1 month and a half ago or so. He was feeling confident and was looking forward to starting down the path of becoming a peer support counselor as well as working on more music and getting out more. Unfortunately, it looks like those plans might be on hold for now since Doug has again been struck down by this relentless disease. All this happened very quickly, literally from one day to the next. It’s unclear if the DBS has stopped working or if he’s having another long bout of anxiety that is causing him to shut down and close himself off from any contact. I have not heard from Doug since a text he sent me on Friday, October 7th, saying that he’s “in f*cking hell” right now. This episode is just me explaining all I know so far, so it’s a short one. I close the show with a short excerpt of a song I am writing about Doug’s battle. Hopefully he’ll be back next week feeling stronger and giving us more insights into what he’s going through.

In this episode, we catch up with Doug’s progress with his DBS. Still going strong, even after a stressful few days. The neurological corrections (based on MEG brain imaging) are still in place and seem to still be working their magic a full month after altering the DBS settings. Deep Brain Stimulation has already helped patients with Parkinson’s disease as well as dystonia. We play a couple of excerpts from Dr. Andres Lozano’s TED talk where he shows in real time how switching the DBS on totally stops a Parkinson’s patient from shaking, and essentially cures a child from severe dystonia. Tapping into the brain and sending an electric charge into very specific regions can kickstart malfunctioning neurons and bring hope to those who suffer from all sorts of mental illnesses. Show resources: DBS helps a Parkinson’s patient DBS helps a patient with dystonia  

Though Doug’s mood continues to improve from the new DBS setting, the end of the month financial struggle rears its ugly head again. In desperation, he started a crowdfunding campaign, only to suspend it early since we both felt uncomfortable with a plea for money with nothing in return. From this, we decided to add a donate button on our website as a means to help keep the podcast going. Every month, when Doug’s disability money runs out and he goes days without food, his mood is understandably low, which makes recording the podcast a much lower priority than finding his next meal. So if you’re a listener and want to make sure we can continue doing the podcast, please donate however much you feel comfortable donating. No one with a mental illness should have to worry about basic sustenance. .wpedon-container .wpedon-select, .wpedon-container .wpedon-input { width: 171px; min-width: 171px; max-width: 171px; } On the betterment front, Doug is considering doing peer support for others who struggle with mental illness. Having been through it himself, he can provide a unique perspective that can help others going through similar issues. Lastly, we discuss how real progress is made one step at a time. Looking forward too far makes tasks seem insurmountable, but focusing only on the small steps currently in front of you produces more wins and will lead to accomplishing what seemed impossible.

In this episode we continue discussing Doug’s progress and how the MEG brain imaging has helped dial in his current DBS settings, which seem to be holding so far. Doug goes into a bit of detail about the differences between the types of brain imaging currently available and their specific uses. We also talk about Dr. Harry Frederick Harlow’s emotional experiments with rhesus monkeys, the ethical concerns surrounding his methods, and what we learned from his results. Also, we bring up Robin Williams again and discuss a few more details about his mental illness, and the similarities to Doug’s intractable depression. Lastly, we talk about how we need to seize the day and appreciate everything we have right now and not stress out about what we cannot control. As Doug is improving, he is seeing the world through new eyes, hungry for everything positive the world has to offer.

Doug’s new setting on his DBS seems to still be working its miracles. Since the MEG scan pointed to three settings that showed promising neural activity, Doug has been on the first setting, and so far so good! No more shooting blind… with brain imaging, we now have a more reliable method of determining effective treatment. We’re cautiously optimistic about this, and really hope it lasts into full remission, unlike the roller coaster setting he had previously. The best part of it all is that he now not only has hope, but is looking forward to a more “normal” future. Show resources: Get the official Unhinged Podcast headphones!

We’re back! In this episode, Doug talks about the results of his MEG scan and how he’s feeling after weeks of unbearable anxiety. His scans show that there are three DBS settings that were showing activity, so at least now, when adjusting the DBS, it can be done with some intelligence behind it rather than trial and error guessing. This new setting holds some promise, and we’re hoping it sticks. We also talk a bit about the pros and cons of socialized medicine, and how quality healthcare should be available for all, not just those who can afford it. Doug’s life was saved by Canadian healthcare, but at the same time, there are struggles when it comes to long waits for appointments, and finding doctors who will treat patients as humans and not lab rats. Lastly, we mention that Doug and I are collaborating on some music that we plan to release in the future as an album available for purchase from our website. We provide a small taste of something we’re working on (hint: see the title of this episode).

Doug is back! But only briefly to explain what he’s been going through and what it means for the future of our podcast. Don’t worry, we will continue in one form or another, but we must now consider Doug’s mental health and whether talking so personally about his daily struggles is a potential trigger or source for stress and anxiety. It’ll take us a couple of weeks to figure out, but we definitely want to continue the show. We may just not be able to be as rigid with our release dates, and the show format may change. We just don’t know the details yet. Thank you to our listeners for sticking around and for all the well-wishes!

Last episode, we discussed how Doug was unable to join us due to his off-the-charts anxiety. This past week, his anxiety has continued like a roller coaster. Unfortunately, his disease is again keeping him from participating. We chatted a few days ago and he told me that the past week has felt more like years. Having been in what’s essentially a weeks long panic attack, he said he’s starting to wonder if anxiety is more than just a side effect of the DBS. What if it’s more of a base aspect of his personality, or at the very least a co-symptom of his mental illness? Is the anxiety caused by the depression, or is the depression caused by the anxiety? This is just a quick update episode, so it’s very short. We’re hoping to do a full, proper show next week if Doug’s disease allows it. Thank you for understanding.

If you’ve been following the podcast, you’ll know that Doug has been on a roller coaster ride with his treatment resistant depression, being in remission for quite a while, then falling back down, then coming back out of it again. In our last episode, he was on an upswing, having just come out of a deep downward spiral that lasted 3 weeks. So things were looking good again. Unfortunately, that brief glimpse of normalcy has not lasted, and he is again suffering. He was hoping to be better enough to do the show today, but his anxiety right now is through the roof. So instead of trying to do the show by myself today, I think I’ll play some highlights from our past 19 episodes. There’s also a surprise song I recorded at the end of this episode. It’s a song that Doug taught me on guitar several years ago. I’m dedicating it to him in hopes of another remission, and one that lasts. -Ed

After a long three weeks of relapse, Doug is finally starting to emerge from the darkness. In this episode, Doug recalls some of what he was feeling during that time… the anger, the frustration, the hopelessness. We also respond to a couple of emails we received about Episode #18: Relapse Part 2 – The Call. Apparently, the frankness and reality of our last episode struck a chord with some listeners in a good way. Hearing that our show has actually helped anyone is a huge validation of everything we’re trying to do. Thank you! Lastly, we talk about Doug’s recent magnetoencephalography (MEG) session, where multiple settings were dialed in on his DBS, then his brain scanned. Being able to image his brain activity with differing DBS settings should hopefully provide some insight into what exactly the DBS is doing and how his brain is reacting. Now we wait for the analysis of his results. Show resources: Magnetoencephalography (Wikipedia)

NOTE: This episode contains very strong language and disturbing subject matter. This is a real life documentation of a person in a desperate state, wanting his pain to end. Listener discretion is advised. Since the 4th of July, Doug’s mood has been steadily dropping, effectively ending his two-month remission from his treatment-resistant depression. On July 16th, he called me in a very low state to warn me that I should be prepared for the worst. This episode is a recording of that phone call… totally raw, emotional, and unscripted. He was unaware that I was recording our conversation until I revealed that to him at the end of the call. We then agreed that it would make a powerful episode to show just how this disease can bring someone to the brink of desperation. We apologize for the length of this episode, but we felt we had to show the distorted thinking and circular discussions of someone in this state. We also apologize that the audio quality is not quite up to our standards, but since this was impromptu, Doug was not on his podcast mic at the time.

NOTE: This podcast was recorded on July 10th and talks about Doug beginning to relapse right after recording our previous episode about his remission. After this episode, Doug has unfortunately continued this downward trend, and on next week’s show, you will hear an emotionally raw phone call between Doug and Ed. Stay tuned. In this episode, we discuss the unfortunate beginnings of a relapse after two-and-a-half months of remission. For no apparent reason, Doug’s mood has suddenly dropped and he is struggling to make sense of it all, especially in light of the news that he was born with a genetic abnormality in his brain. We also talk about some advancements with ketamine and its dissociative effects.

NOTE: This podcast was recorded on July 3rd and deals with Doug’s recent 2-month remission. However, as of July 4th, Doug’s mood has taken a downward turn, so the declaration of a full remission was a bit premature. We will have more information about this on next week’s show, so please stay tuned. In the meantime, please enjoy episode #16. This week’s episode deals with Doug’s recent two-month remission. Technically, a two-month period with no major depressive symptoms is considered a full remission. This is where he is right now, but how long will it last? We also learn about the true origins of Doug’s mental illness. There is now scientific proof that his genetics have a great deal to do with his treatment-resistant depression. The good news is that a DNA profile, combined with advanced brain imaging techniques, helps doctors more accurately try different therapies and medications that are better targeted at an individual. This should help usher out the era of stab-in-the-dark medicine, and begin a new era of targeted, customized, and more effective treatments.

In this episode, we welcome special guest Jamie Rickel, Doug’s older brother and de-facto family liaison. Jamie has come to understand Doug’s plight and that his disease is not something he can control. The discussion gives us a look at Doug’s early childhood from Jamie’s point of view. Jamie also talks about when he noticed Doug having mental health issues, his drug use, the family intervention, and how their parents handled everything. Join us in this emotional episode as we discover more about their family dynamic.

Another month’s end, another situational downward turn. In our 14th episode, we discuss how living under the poverty line puts any mental illness recovery in danger. Doug’s situation is no exception as he struggles to survive for eight days with a zero balance. We re-enact a texting conversation we had in preparation for the show that outlines just how negative, sarcastic, and angry one can get when control over normal, mundane things is lost. On the lighter side, we present another round of interesting facts about the brain. Show resources: 10 Unbelievable Facts About Human Brain That Everyone Should Know I Love Useless Facts 15 Fascinating Facts You Didn’t Know About Your Brain Human Brain Facts

In our 13th episode, we cover Doug’s 6-month stint in a mental hospital. We learn what it felt like for him to be in a real life “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. Doug reads an old journal entry, which sounds like a dark and emotional suicide note. He’s come a long way since then. Next, we discuss mental health advocacy. This has become the mission for this podcast, as well as Doug’s special purpose. We follow this with a words from some of our fans out in the wild, as well as a segment listing some interesting facts about the brain. Finally, we touch on the dynamics of Father’s Day and how it differs between us. Show resources: 21 Interesting Facts About Our Brain 10 Interesting Facts About The Human Brain Tracks and Horizons: 26 Countries on a Motorcycle