Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

So many of us felt like a fish out of water growing up. And feel more comfortable around people we share DNA with. Why is that? What is genetic validation? How can it help us feel more comfortable in our own skin? Adoptee and psychotherapist Elliott shares his insights to catalyse insights in us.Elliott Driscoll (he/him) is a psychotherapist at The Resource Group, and has been practicing for more than 20 years in New York, New Jersey and Maryland. He works with clients ages 22 and older. He holds a Master’s of Science in Social Work from Columbia University and a Master’s in Business Administration from Loyola College. He specializes in treating individuals struggling with addiction, trauma, and depression. Elliott is Psychodynamically trained and uses aspects of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Motivational Enhancement Therapy, and Logotherapyhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/elliott-driscoll-13434a7/https://resourcegrp.org/https://www.facebook.com/ResourceGroupMDhttps://twitter.com/ResourceGroupMDhttps://www.instagram.com/resourcegroupmd/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Working so hard to counter shame and the belief that that we are inherently bad is exhausting. Transracial and transcultural adoptee and licensed clinical social worker Rachel goes deep on leading ourselves out of this, transforming our relationship with the different parts and more. It's a particularly profound and empowering episode. Here's a bit about Rachel from her website: As a Korean American transracial and transcultural adoptee, I offer a unique lens to my therapeutic work and adoption advocacy. My therapeutic approach is holistic and mind-body incorporated, with an intention of increasing self-awareness and self-leadership. I offer individual therapy sessions, therapeutic group support for adult adoptees, educational trainings, and my professional perspective and experience in interviews, podcasts, public panels, discussions, and forums. My practice is founded upon the belief that we are all human – meaning that it is natural to feel a multitude of emotions that are both unique to the individual, as well as interconnected with our relationships with others. I believe the path to healing and growth begins with connecting to one’s self and the leadership already within you. rootandreturnwellness.com https://www.facebook.com/rachelforbeslcsw/ https://www.instagram.com/rachelforbes.lcsw Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Transracial Adoptee Corissa suffered in the deep darkness of depression and addiction. She'd been asking herself who she was all her life. Listen in as she shares what she found out. We go deep and get clear on who we all are. I hope you love that clarity and freedom. Here's more about Corissa from her website:WHO AM I?I’ve been asking myself this question my entire life. I’m a Korean-born, adopted, American, mother, wife, entrepreneur, energy worker, storyteller, teacher, mystic, marketer, connector, curator, manifesting generator, ENFP, nature worshipper, and spiritual explorer.When my mother was pregnant with me, she awoke from a dream of a giant shooting star falling to earth, and named me Byul Nim, the honorific form of the word ‘star’.It’s my destiny to shine light in this world.HOW DID IT ALL BEGIN?Being given up for adoption at 3 years old and moved to the United States to be raised by a new family who didn’t look, sound, or act anything like what I knew created a deep sense of abandonment and uncertainty about my identity.I adapted. I had to. And in the process locked all of my needs, hurts, and traumas away where they wouldn’t interfere with the success of my life. Other childhood traumas piled upon the already shaky foundation....More at:https://corissasaintlaurent.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/corissasaintlaurent/https://www.youtube.com/@corissasaintlaurenthttps://www.instagram.com/theeverydaymystic/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Growing up in a hostile and toxic environment adds a dense layer of trauma to the trauma of being relinquished by our birth mother. We feel insecure and unstable. Adoptee and podcaster Mike shares what he's learning about solidifying his sense of self after having a terrible time with his adoptive parents. We dive deep into resilience and identity. Profound and tough.Check out Mike's podcast at:http://www.secretsonpod.com/Visit his website at:http://www.miketrupiano.com/Connect with him on social media at:https://www.facebook.com/themiketrupianohttps://www.instagram.com/themiketrupiano/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Some say that when we see better, we do better. I think that seeing better helps us we feel better too. More comfortable in ourselves. More at peace with the world. So the next question pops up: what helps us see better? A broader perspective. The ability to see the wood from the trees. Listen in as transracial adoptee Lora shares what she's seen about broadening her perspective and how that's helped her feel more comfortable about being her.Here's more about Lora from her website:I was born in a small Korean village and adopted into the Northeastern part of the United States at the age of two.From the age of four, I started talking about working in a creative field. I used to say “I’m an artist in search of a medium” and spent many years trying to discover how to best express myself. I was active in theatre (starting in 2nd grade), but it wasn’t until I first saw independent movies in my teens that I thought about working in the field. I saw the big screen as an enormous canvas on which my imagination could paint.As I child, I was a voracious reader – I loved all types of fiction and literature – while television and games were virtually banned from my house. I attempted writing “novels” in my spare time and write my first “book” when I was eight. Since then I’ve published hundreds of articles in print and online media, and am honing my craft as a screenwriter, under the tutelage of a talented and prolific mentor.To complement my filmmaking skill set, I’m technically inquisitive, and love exploring new technology. Learning about new software programs, cameras, and production techniques piques my curiosity. I work as a Senior Advisor (tech) and Mentor for Apple, and truly appreciate the opportunity to assist others learn about the exciting things tech has to offer.I take a democratic approach to the way I direct, service and mentor others. Leading provides the ultimate opportunity to serve and mentor, and I am truly honored by any chance I have to nurture and develop other people.Additionally, I am on a spiritual path and am training to become a Shaman. I am also a Reiki Master and seek to heal. Traveling has given me the opportunity to broaden my perspective, and I have visited multiple countries and had the privilege of meeting people from various cultures and walks of life. Other hobbies include cooking, crafts, animals, and entertaining.Currently, I live in Los Angeles, CA. “There are two men inside the artist, the poet and the craftsman. One is born a poet. One becomes a craftsman.” — Emile Zolahttps://www.amazon.com/Voices-Across-Sea-Adoption-Uniting-ebook/dp/B07W3JTSXBhttps://twitter.com/LoraVKeleherhttps://www.instagram.com/lorakeleherhttp://lorakeleher.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Coming out of the fog reveals our trauma. We become conscious of what was subconscious. But who we really are remains shrouded in mist. We just can't see it. Join Greg and I on the journey to seeing our essence. Depth reveals truths. You're going to love this if you want clarity on identity.I found this excellent bio on Jennifer Dyan Ghoston's website for the Once Upon A Time In Adoptee Land Podcast:Greg Gentry is a domestic baby scoop era adoptee, born in California in 1969. He has been in reunion with maternal family members since 2006, and in 2021 also connected with his paternal side. Greg is a facilitator and interviewer for Fireside Adoptees, a private Facebook group founded in 2021, which is committed to additional outreach through its public Facebook page and through the Fireside Adoptees Constellation private Facebook group. Greg is also an administrator and facilitator within the Adoption Trauma Network and the host of Adoptees Connect out of Derry, New Hampshire. He enjoys connecting with others in the online adoptee community, and has found these interactions to be richly rewarding and supportive. Listen to Greg and Jennifer talking here https://www.onceuponatimeinadopteeland.com/episode/107-greg-gentry-fireside-adopteesConnect with Greg here:https://www.instagram.com/greggentry22https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070242835691Join Fireside Adoptees here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1411791922534076Visit their public Page https://www.facebook.com/fireside.adoptees.and.allies Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How do we grow? Become comfortable in ourselves? Feel whole? Listen in as transracial adoptee Sun Mee shares her personal growth story. She brings me back to clarity after I take us down a rabbit hole. Nice work Sun Mee, thank you! We bring the episode to close with an exercise you're going to want to join in on - but not if you're driving ok?Here's a bit about Sun Mee Sun Mee is a Korean-German adoptee, certified Holistic Coach, and Founder of NUMARU— An international community platform and emotional wellbeing program for transracial/BIPOC adoptees. She was adopted at 3.5 yrs and raised in South Germany. NUMARU results from her journey of transforming her adoptee’s pain into purpose with a mission to create safe on and offline spaces and to offer fellow adoptees an open-hearted pathway to healing. Sun Mee’s multi-disciplinary approach weaves mindfulness practices with creative self-explorations, compassionate inquiry, and honest community connections—inviting to group circles, interactive workshops, 1:1 private support, and destination retreats.Sun Mee works internationally with individuals, groups, and cultural organizations. Her story and project have been featured on media platforms in Europe, the US, and Australia—advocating for a more nuanced understanding of adoption, identity, and wellbeing. She is based in Berlin with her husband, enjoying a mindful lifestyle, cooking experiments, nature, traveling, and DIY crafts.You can learn more about her story here and receive a free self-care guide via: www.numaru.spaceLearn more about the NUMARU HEART SPACE Platform/Apphttps://numaru-adoptee-heart-space.mn.co Connect with her via:www.numaru.spaceIG + FB: @numaru.truebelonging Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/sunmeemartin Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Contact Michelle: [email protected] Make sure your book is on: http://adopteereading.com/Check out podcasts you want to be a guest on: https://blog.feedspot.com/adoption_po... Check out that book I mentioned: https://www.amazon.co.uk/1001-Ways-Ma...Here's the link to State Adoption Programme Managers https://www.childwelfare.gov/organiza...You put your heart and soul into writing your book. Because you're passionate sharing your story. And helping and supporting your fellow adoptees. Wouldn't it be great if more people knew about your book? A nd bought it? A re you looking to speak at more online and in-person events for adoptees so you can make more impact? M ichelle Vandepas is an adoptive mom who wants to support adoptee authors and speakers. She is also the best-selling author of three books, author coach to Brian Tracy and Jack Canfield clients and a TEDx speaker. She has also helped publish over 1,000 books. Michelle combines her book knowledge with marketing and business sense to help books sell. https://gracepointpublishing.com/https://www.facebook.com/gracepointpublishing Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Keep going. Even when the search for your roots is like looking for a needle in a haystack. John shares profound insights from his journey with modesty and humility. We go deep on identity, tenacity and curiosity. Highly recommended.John was born in Mexico and raised in Arizona. He didn't start his search until he was 50.https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100036393137797https://www.johnsaintignon.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-saintignon-176a4332/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

"When I was forty-five, I received a photograph of my birth mother in the mail—the first time I ever saw someone who looked like me. Seeing myself in another person’s face was a lightning bolt so powerful it divided my life into everything that happened before that moment from everything that happened after." Listen as Eric explains more and we discuss perspective, unconditional love and more... Eric had always wondered what it was like to have a visual bond with someone else: something that clearly marked you as members of the same family. Did it make you love each other more?Here's link to the pics of him alongside his motherhttps://familyresemblanceproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Cheryl-and-Eric2_1440.jpgMore linkshttps://familyresemblanceproject.com/https://ericmuellerphotography.com/https://twitter.com/emuellerphotohttps://www.instagram.com/ericmueller/https://daylightbooks.org/products/family-resemblance-finding-yourself-in-others Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Ryan found out that he was adopted just before he turned 18. It rocked his world. And not in a good way! Listen in as Ryan shares what he's learned - and continues to learn - about himself, being positive and helping others. Find out more at:https://www.booksie.com/646853-my-storyConnect with Ryan at:https://www.facebook.com/peshyhttps://www.instagram.com/peshy37 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Healing is a word that's bandied about a lot in adoptee circles. But what does it mean? How do we heal? Listen in as I run through David Hawkins' Map Of Consciousness from the perspective of us adoptees. It's an incredibly valuable tool for our healing journey.Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.,is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher, psychiatrist, physician, researcher, lecturer and developer of the widely-known Map of Consciousness®The map/ladder/scale https://www.reddit.com/r/ALLISMIND/comments/scf5r0/isnt_it_interesting_that_desire_is_so_low_on_this/2 of his bookshttps://www.amazon.com/Letting-David-Hawkins-M-D-Ph-D/dp/1401945015https://www.amazon.com/Power-Force-David-Hawkins-M-D/dp/1401945074 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Simon Benn was adopted at 5 weeks old and told so young he doesn’t ever remember not knowing. He didn't experience any conscious adoption trauma until 40 when he found out his childhood teddy bear was a gift from his birth mother. This caused an eruption of anger, feeling rejected and unloved. That kickstarted a healing journey exploring trauma, my roots and who he is.He’s spent 16 years doing this and continues to be fascinated by it all and:working with 2,500 kids and parents in the UK and USA to increase kids’ confidence, self-esteem, resilience and ability to stop bullies upsetting them.conversations with over 400 global foster and adoptive parents, foster and adoption professionals, social workers and therapists as well as adults who were fostered or adopted. Many of these conversations have been for the Thriving Adoptees podcast He has also run webinars for resource parents in the UK, USA and Australia. Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Have you spent a lot of your life trying to be free from trauma? I know I have! What if you could be free with trauma? Poetry can take where we've never been before. Listen as adoptee and poet Sarah shares a couple of her poems and we discuss peace, trauma and healing.Sarah Audsley is the author of Landlock X (Texas Review Press, 2023). A Korean American adoptee, a graduate of the MFA Program for Writers at Warren Wilson College, and a member of The Starlings Collective, Audsley lives and works in northern Vermont.https://twitter.com/saudsleypoethttps://www.facebook.com/sarah.audsley.12https://www.instagram.com/saudsley Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Boom! Many of us adoptees come out of the fog with a painful explosion. Adoptee and Developmental Psychologist Sharon goes deep on understanding repressed feelings, spiritual experience and much more as we explore her healing journey to help us progress along ours.Here's more about Sharon from her website:I am a graduate of Harvard University, where I completed my Doctorate in Education in human development and psychology, and held an internship at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts.I have been trained in a variety of treatment methodologies and have worked with adults and children, treating eating disorders, chemical dependency and compulsive gambling.I also have a great deal of experience in conducting groups for women with post-traumatic stress disorder.I am a co-author and co-editor of the book, Compulsive Gambling: Theory, Research and Practice (1989).In addition to 26 years providing therapy, I’ve also served as an adjunct teacher at Argosy University of Psychology in Eagan, Minnesota.Certification And LicensureLicensed Psychologist in Minnesota since 1993Certified in Mediation for Divorce 2002Gambling Treatment Provider in Minnesota since 1994Certified Addictions Specialist since 1992Completed Intensive Dialectical Behavior Therapy Training, 2006https://www.sharonsteinmcnamara.com/Sharon's interview with Haley Radke Adoptees on Podcasthttps://www.adopteeson.com/listen/184Three-hour webinar on Adoption Across the Lifespanhttps://mpa.ce21.com/item/clinical-issues-adoption-lifespan-87036https://www.facebook.com/steinmcnamaraThis webinar on forgiveness is coming up on June 2, 2023 and will discuss case examples of forgiveness in the adoption constellation and the adoption systemic issues.https://www.mnpsych.org/index.php?option=com_jevents&task=icalrepeat.detail&evid=480&Itemid=134&year=2023&month=06&day=02&title=first-friday-forum-forgiveness-in-psychotherapy-a-applications-to-justice-issues-a-historical-trauma&uid=339b78e80680a62a28ea4f987582dee6 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Liz's nightmares used to be so vividly terrifying that they took her all day or to get over. And depression and anxiety marred her waking hours. We go deep exploring the multiple layers of trauma, separating from it to heal. Listen in with big ears to Liz's inspirational story of transformational change.Connect with her:https://www.linkedin.com/in/liz-debetta-ph-d-7b4ba953https://www.facebook.com/liz.debettaLive soon:https://www.lizdebetta.com Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Catie's watershed moment came when shame shifted for her. Listen in as we go deep on shifting shame through tenacity and curiosity - being mindfluid rather than being stuck in a mindset. This episode is one of the most laser focused conversations we've ever had on the show. That focus makes it incredibly powerful. I hope you love listening to the conversation as much Catie and I loved having it.Here's some background on Catie from her website:My name is Catie Samantha Peck. At birth I was named Samantha Claire. I was relinquished by my first mother, and then lived in 2 foster homes. At 7 weeks old I was adopted and renamed Catherine Anne by my adoptive family. I now choose to go by Catie Samantha Peck, and my friends, family, and clients call me Catie.A little bit about me. I currently hold a LMSW in New York State, and a CCTP-I trauma certification. I began my education at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, NJ, where I received a Bachelor of Social Work degree in 2006. I then went on to obtain a Master of Social Work degree from the Greater Rochester Collaborative Master of Social Work Program (Nazareth College / SUNY Brockport) in 2007. I published my Master’s Thesis on Adoption Trauma at that time. I have practiced Social Work in New York State for the past 15 years. During my career, I have primarily served Veterans, and Caregivers of Veterans, for 10 years at the Federal Department of Veterans Affairs. I specialized in working with the Geriatric population for a portion of this time and have an affinity for working with older adults. Prior to that, at the onset of my career, I worked in a hospital setting with a medically frail population. I have additionally worked as a mental health counselor in an outpatient low-income clinic setting. The exposure and attempts at belonging to many families, along with my own genetic bewilderment until adulthood, has allowed me a uniquely empathic approach towards diversity and inclusion in my practice. Due to my own experience with the destructive impact of family separation, I have a particularly sensitive approach to personal and historical trauma, and the shame, fear, and pain that it causes families generationally. I find personal time in nature, relationships with our animal friends, and humor as all critical pieces to an individual’s ability to achieve mental wellness. My adoptive mother that raised me was a Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA) which means that she did not discover that she was adopted until she was an adult. Since neither of us had any post-adoption support, we had to figure out on our own that our family’s historical losses were both strengths and challenges to us. I successfully reunited with my first family (Biological Mother and Biological Father) when I was 36 years old, and they are a large part of my life. I continue to maintain close relationships with my adoptive family. When I am not doing THIS, I share my life with my husband, who is a teacher and also a helper by nature, and my definition of family, which includes close friendships, biological kin, adoptive family and furry companions. Traveling, kayaking, live music, and writing help me find my center."https://www.truestorycounselingservices.com/https://www.instagram.com/Truestorycounselingservices/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

With our life story missing chapter 1, it's no wonder identity can be tricky or a complete mystery for us adoptees. How can we feel good enough if we don't know who we are? Listen in as Jeff and I explore identity beyond shame, guilt and trauma.Jeff was adopted at birth. Raised in the Bay Area by two wonderfully loving parents, Jeff still felt a pull to know and uncover the mystery of his origin. Jeff eventually found his biological roots and has been in reunion with his birthmother for almost 30 years.Now, a photographer living in Los Angeles, a chance photoshoot with Ray Liota and discovering he, too, is adopted, a project was ‘birthed’ to photograph and interview adoptees in reunion with their biological parents.The project has been a transformative process, but Jeff now finds himself hosting adoptee meetings at his home twice a month. Through Jeff’s involvement with the adoption community and just so happening to be a close friend of Jennifer Griffith and her husband Mark, Jeff has lent his ‘adoption constellation membership’ to Jennifer when her podcast touches the subject of adoption and foster parenthood.He is not claiming to be an expert on adoption but a mindful devotee to living open and vulnerable. Jeff is happy to help others identify with those who have dealt with adoption/foster care issues and create a community of nourishment.https://jeffforney.com/https://www.instagram.com/jeffforney/https://www.byjennifergriffith.com/jeff-forney/https://www.facebook.com/jeffforneyphoto Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We adoptees often believe there is something wrong with us. This is known as pathologising ourselves. Adoptee Joyce has been working in the adoption world for 55 years. Listen in as Joyce shares what she's learned about busting the belief that there is something wrong with us.Dr. Pavao has done extensive training, both nationally and internationally. She is a lecturer in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and she has consulted to various public and private child welfare agencies, adoption agencies, schools, and community groups, as well as probate and family court judges, lawyers, and clergy. Additionally, she has worked closely with individuals and families touched by adoption, foster care, and other complex blended family constructions.She has developed models for treatment and for training using her systemic, intergenerational, and developmental framework, The Normative Crises in the Development of the Adoptive Family, and her book, The Family of Adoption (Beacon Press), has received high acclaim.Dr. Pavao has received many awards and honors, including the Children’s Bureau/U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Adoption Excellence Award for Family Contribution (2003) and the Congressional Coalition on Adoption award for Angels in Adoption (2000).http://www.pavaoconsulting.com/https://www.facebook.com/Dr.JoyceMaguirePavaohttps://twitter.com/GetKinnectedhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/kinnect/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Late Discovery Adoptee Dr Syb got tired of being mad. At times she felt she didn't want to be here - in this place or lifetime. So what did she do? Listen in as we go deep into healing. Profound. Empowering. Just like we love these conversations.Dr. Syb is an educator by birth and a journalist by choice. She is a Vanderbilt educated, Harvard trained, two-time Emmy-award winning journalist. She is currently an Associate Professor of Journalism at Belmont University in Nashville, TN where she helped establish the New Century Journalism Program. While Executive Director, Dr. Syb helped the program secure grants from the Ethics and Excellence and Gannett Foundations. In addition, she helped host BlogNashville with the Media Bloggers Association in 2005.She trains educators, students and professionals on how to think about and use digital tools. With degrees from Vanderbilt University, Loyola University of Chicago and Marquette University and more than 20 years of television news experience with stints at ABC in Milwaukee, CBS in Chicago and CBS in Nashville, she is a multimedia force with which to be reckoned. Her blog is www.themultimediamaven.com and her twitter handle is: @drsyb.She has served numerous rolls for professional associations including Program Committee Chair for the 2011 National Association of Black Journalists Convention, Chair, News Division Broadcast Education Association, 2010-11 and the Chair of the Student Newsroom for the Online News Association Student Newsroom in 2008. She also coordinated and hosted the NABJ Nashville Multimedia Institute in 2008. She is the author of the forthcoming book The Underground Railroad is Back, Shhh, Don’t Tell Nobody, a modern day analogy about networking and innovation.https://drsyb.com/https://twitter.com/drsybhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drsyb/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Here's the links I mention towards the end of the interviewhttps://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/self-love-for-adopteeshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_AaeYGXVYQGrowing up, Black transracial adoptee Rebeccah Carlson hated the colour of her skin. She hated her hair and her lips. She would dress in the dark to avoid looking at herself. So how did she go from this to self acceptance? Listen in as we explore what she's learned and continues to learn.Rebeccah Carlson is Board Vice Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She is also a Corporate Social Responsibility Program Manager at IBM. She activates global opportunities for employees to volunteer within their communities and markets donor campaigns that amplify the importance of giving back. Passionate about human rights and civic engagement, Rebeccah has been sharing her own adoptee journey through different public forums since 2020 to help cultivate greater awareness of transracial adoptive experiences. She lives in Minnesota and has a master's degree in Business Administration from Bethel University. In her free time, Rebeccah enjoys hiking and cooking.Here are some links to the Adoptee Mentoring Societyhttps://www.instagram.com/adopteementorship/https://www.adopteementorship.org/https://www.facebook.com/adopteementorshiphttps://www.linkedin.com/company/adoptee-mentoring-society/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

So many of our feelings come from subconscious thoughts. That's a challenge because we can't deal with what we aren't aware of. Listen in as we explore adoption trauma and awareness. Get insights from people in the constellation that don't normally feature on the show. Birth mom Ashley Vite and daughter of an adoptee Kayla Vite are life partners and host the Adoption is podcast... "We are here to give a voice to the men and women who have had an adoption experience."Listen to the podcast here:https://open.spotify.com/show/077HQIcufyJjzgMwAjqHynConnect with them on social here:https://www.instagram.com/adoption_is_podcast/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087506625456 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Working with a therapist involves making ourselves vulnerable. Putting ourselves in their hands. Accepting their authority. Emma's therapist abused her trust. Time and time again Emma ignored red flags as her intuition warned her off her therapist. Listen in as we explore this and how you can become aware of the red flags you've seen. Other people can't know us like we can know ourselves. There are no gurus. So we have to become our own. Take what works from others and leave what doesn't. Empowering and profound.Here's the link to Emma's new book https://www.amazon.com/Fire-Coming-Emma-Stevens-ebook/dp/B0BSRGZMTSHere are the links I mention:Emma's first interview with me https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/freedom-with-emma-stevensMy mentor's book https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9TEmma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. She developed the inner strength and courage to surmount the many struggles she faced. Her traumas were born from being an adoptee who struggled with being forced to wear an impossible mask of playing the part of the “good adopted child.” Because being relinquished and adopted has colored her life, it’s Emma’s desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to helping bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals. She believes strongly in adoptees finding their voice and discovering their truth to have a solid sense of self and to reclaim their identities. Through telling her story, Emma is dedicated to help redefine the narrative of adoption to include the entire complex truth.More about Emma athttps://linktr.ee/EmmaStevensWriterhttps://www.instagram.com/EmmaStevensWriterhttps://www.facebook.com/EmmaStevensWriterhttps://www.tiktok.com/@EmmaStevensWriterhttps://twitter.com/emmastevenswrtr Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Our motivation away from pain is far stronger than our motivation toward pleasure. That's why painkillers outsell vitamins. But what if we are - completely innocently and inadvertently - prolonging emotional pain? Listen in as Vin and I unpack this to relieve shame, insecurity and all those painful feelings we don't want.Vin runs a Facebook group where adoptees and adopters can learn from one another in a friendly and no conflict environment.Connect with him at:https://www.facebook.com/vinadopteejarrod Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We've been through tough stuff so how do we adoptees grow? How do we learn from our mistakes? Listen in as Andres shares some of his learnings from both adoption and being diagnosed bi-polar. We explore who we are beyond our story, labels and psychology.Here's a bit about Andres "My name is Andres, and as an adoptee, I created The Adoption Door to help people understand the experience a little bit more. I am building a community around this concept because people have a lot of questions and answers regarding this topic. Because this topic has so many facets, there is a lot to learn. It's all about helping each other."Here's a link to his website and podcast:https://www.theadoptiondoor.net/Connect with him on social media here:https://www.instagram.com/theadoptiondoorhttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087401448925https://twitter.com/theadoptiondoor Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Like many of us, Daryn was underprepared for the emotional upheaval of reunion. Listen in as he shares learnings from reuniting with his birth mother and some of the different activities he's done to heal. We go deep on understanding who are, and who we are not. This empowers us to step off the treadmill of seeking approval from others.Here's a bit about Daryn from his website:Hello! My name is Daryn Watson, and I am a reunited adoptee. My adoption reunion journey began in 1995 at the age of twenty-five when I began searching for my maternal family. Less than eight short weeks later, I found my birth/first mother.Our first telephone call was on October 9th, 1995, which happened to be Canadian Thanksgiving Day. I will never forget that phone call. For the first time in my life, I felt truly whole and complete!Despite reading several books on adoption, I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming emotions and experiences reunion encompasses.I would be full of joy one minutes and the next I would feel grief, overwhelmed or angry the next moment. Adoption Reunions are often referred to as riding on an emotional roller coaster. These emotional up and down swings can last for weeks, months or even years.Going through my adoption reunion journey made me realize that it’s too much to deal with it by yourself and too difficult to do it alone. Thankfully, I was able to find a support system to help me navigate the emotional upheaval that occurs within adoption reunions.That is why I started Adoption Reunion Coaching. I really want to be that support system for others who are going through the same journey that I did. I went through this journey, I lived through it, I’ve learned how to navigate the journey and I can teach other people how to do so and make it less traumatic.I am a contributing author to two books. “The Adoptee Survival Guide” and “Adult Adoptees Anthology: Flip the Script” I was also published in an article for “Adoption Today.” I use my experiences as a reunited adoptee to guide others through their Adoption Reunion Journey. https://www.adoptionreunioncoaching.com/https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionReunionCoaching https://www.instagram.com/theadopteemind/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

So many of us adoptees feel so many painful feelings. Suppressing them leads to explosions later on. Numbing them through alcohol and drugs often leads to more pain. Fighting them never leads to peace. So what does? Listen as transracial adoptee Abby sheds her light on finding peace.Abby was adopted from Bogotá at the age of two months and grew up in a small suburb of New York City. She received her bachelor of science in human biology from the State University of New York at Albany and her master of science in medical anthropology from University College London. Abby enjoys hiking, dancing, writing, traveling, exploring nature, and being with beloved friends and family. She lives in Toronto with her life partner and their two children. Since 2012, Abby has been reunited with her familia in Colombia. She is the founder of Decoding Originshttps://twitter.com/AbbyForeroHiltyhttps://www.facebook.com/abby.forerohiltyDecoding Our Origins: The Lived Experiences of Colombian Adoptees is written by seventeen authors who were born in Colombia and adopted internationally. Their individual stories illustrate different aspects of the transracial adoption experience. The traumatic loss of their mothers, culture and identities; racism; and severe abuse are amongst the tough topics addressed frankly and head on. However, these first-hand accounts also highlight the indomitable tenacity and perseverance embodied by the authors as they negotiate their way through childhood, parenthood, search, reunion, and the nail-biting wait for DNA test results. Intimate and honest, the powerful and moving stories in the words of the transracial adoptees themselves result in a unified voice that reminds us to never, ever give up hope.http://decodingorigins.com/Here's a link to the book https://decodingorigins.com/en/welcome/#bookHere's a link to the podcast I mention https://dramyjohnson.com/2023/04/ep246-noticing-the-story-that-says-everything-would-be-better-if-this-wasnt-happening/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

There's pain and beauty in adoption. Donna like she's been healing her whole life. But coming out of the fog was a shock to her system. Listen in as she shares her insights on an expanding awareness of her self. That's where the most profound shifts are happening that are powering on to a better life.https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-joseph-6a277a6/https://www.facebook.com/donna.joseph123https://www.instagram.com/iamdonnajosephhttps://www.facebook.com/donnajosephsearchingfortruth/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How do we heal is one of those inevitable questions that come up after we come out of the fog. Listen in as Cindy and I explore practical steps to heal and principles to help us along that journey. The distinction between healing physical v emotional wounds is particularly beneficial.Here's a bit about Cindy from her website:“I was adopted at 3 months and have always known. I have always had the desire to know my story and my identity, and my parents fully supported me. Trying to get my records and original birth certificate, at the legally allowed age of 18, led me to discover the difficulty adoptees face in doing so. The hurdles that challenge adoptees drove me to become an advocate for all my fellow “cribmates,” an endearing term that we’ve coined ourselves. My advocacy includes educating the public on separation trauma, family preservation, and abolishing adoption. When DNA testing became available, I became obsessed with helping others find their biological roots as a search angel, specifically now helping Amerasian “kids” identify their American GI birth fathers. I have been married to my amazing husband, Mark, for 30 years. Together, we’ve raised 3 awesome adult children. I enjoy genealogy, reading, beaches and pools, shopping, and of course, spending time with my 3 beautiful grandchildren.”https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/https://twitter.com/HHHRetreatshttps://www.instagram.com/hiraethhopeandhealing/https://www.facebook.com/hiraethhopehealinghttps://www.pinterest.com/hiraethhopeandhealing/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We adoptees have so many questions! And international adoptions often throw up so many more especially when records are so sadly lacking or non-existent. Listen in as Yael shares what she learned handling ambiguity, letting go of overthinking and much more as we get to the heart of reunion decades after an international adoption.Here's bit from from Yael's website:There comes a time in every adopted person’s life when they want to know the answers to some questions. What drove my birth mother to put me up for adoption? Does she think about me? Do I have a sibling somewhere out there in the world?​Some of us spend most of our lives thinking about these questions, while others do not give it much thought. For me, these questions (and more) suddenly became a near obsession when I hit my 30th birthday. I don’t really have any explanation as to why this deep-rooted curiosity to explore my past occurred then, but I am sure it had something to do with me being in the state of reflection that milestone birthdays have a tendency to inspire.It was when I was cleaning out my mother’s co-op, helping her put it up for sale, that I came across a binder with a lot of documents in it, a video, and some photos. It occurred to me that these were all paperwork relating to my adoption, something I had never seen before. The binder contained the court document, medical records, information on my birth mother, whose name and details I knew nothing about, and more. It became a mystery that I knew I wanted to solve to gain more clarity on a part of my life I knew nothing about.https://www.fromgypsytojersey.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmtEu-MqHMHHWuLvgLoAR1ghttps://www.instagram.com/fromgypsytojersey/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Fighting abandonment, grief and loss is for many of us, a deeply ingrained habit. Pamela's 27 year relationship with alcohol was a big part of her fight. She shares some of her life changing insights on the road to sobriety and finding happiness within.Pamela Karanova, an adult adoptee, living in Lexington, Kentucky, was born in Waterloo, Iowa, in 1974. Although Pamela’s roots are scattered all over Iowa, she considers Kentucky to be her home.Pamela is the President of a National Nonprofit called Adoptees Connect. Adoptees Connect is focused on putting adoptee voices first, creating irreplaceable adoptee-centric spaces where adoptee voices meet. The original connect group was planted in Lexington, KY, in January 2018. In just three short years, 50 connect groups have been planted in different locations around the USA, with two being in Canada. Pamela’s vision for Adoptees Connect didn’t stop in her community. She desires all adoptees to have an adoptee community to fall back on, so these groups are growing and expanding globally. They are designed to take online relationships offline and get to know the person behind the profile. In April 2019, Pamela won the “Angel In Adoption” award on behalf of the National Association for Adoptees and Parents for her role in the adoption community. Pamela is the creator and founder of Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th. Here is a Adoptees Connect, Inc. Google Earth Project she’s created that shows all the group locations scattered all over the USA, Canada and even Queensland, Australia.Check out The Real Adoptea Moxie - adoptee-centric writings that boldly highlight the adoptee experience where motivation meets moxie at:therealadopteamoxie.substack.comhttps://www.facebook.com/pamelakaranovahttps://www.instagram.com/pamelakaranovahttps://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelakaranova/https://open.spotify.com/show/2FGmPmog8cFONagMM7ILja?si=a8a26cdc659c4a4d&nd=1https://pamelakaranova.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

VL felt, as so many of us adoptees do, like an outsider. She was also adopted into abuse. Listen in as she shares what's helped move past this to forgiveness and letting guilt go.V.L. Brunskill is the award-winning author of the Savannah novel Waving Backwards and the forthcoming memoir The Killing Closet. She is also a blogger at adoptionfindwhere she shares lessons learned from her (pre-internet) adoption search, and her journey towards spiritual healing.In addition to her personal blog, V.L. is head of conference production at Argyle. In this role she creates content, abstracts and landing page copy for all events. She also oversees a robust team of producers, speakers and sponsors.Long before she penned her first novel, V.L. was putting pen to paper as a freelance music journalist at Metronome Magazine, North Shore Magazine, CREEM, SPIN, and the Boston Phoenix. From rock stars to rocking ions, V.L. went on to become senior editor of an IT magazine, and a technical writer in the ion implantation field.Having found her birth family, her reunion journey entailed a daunting seven-year-search for her birth mother, and another five-years looking for her birth father.She moved South to be closer to both.https://www.facebook.com/vlbrunskill/https://adoptionfind.wordpress.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickilynnbrunskill Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Transracial adoptee Gina grew up in a very white part of the USA. Racism was part of her daily life. Listen is she shares her insights into getting clear about who she is, bravery and confidence. Here's a bit about Gina and the background to her interview:The child welfare system can be a labyrinth for foster children and adoptees - a maze built around sometimes inadequate research, poor information and ideology. What passes for "normal" assumptions about families and "healthy" racial identities is open to question. Longstanding policies that promote colorblindness in adoption and practices that overlook the unique needs of foster children whose adulthoods are launched without a legally permanent family should be re-examined.In her ground-breaking research, Gina M. Samuels, an associate professor at the School of Social Service Administration, examines two broad themes: identity development among transracial adoptees and the "aging out" of young adults from foster care. As a multiracial adoptee and past child welfare worker, Samuels' scholarly work is distinct, informed by her professional and lived experience.Her study of multiracial adoptees, based on interviews of 18-35-year-olds, pointedly questions current adoption policies that encourage colorblindness. In fact, assumptions that multiracial children will easily integrate into white families and face less racial stigma runs counter to her research. Rather, finds Samuels, colorblind parenting may well be more damaging than helpful to children. Yet many adopting parents - even more so than placement workers - downplay the role of race in raising their multiracial children, leaving children to navigate these dynamics on their own.Her transracial adoption research - "Being raised by white people: Navigating racial difference among multiracial adopted adults," published in the Journal of Family and Marriage - comes at an especially timely moment. The election of a biracial president will certainly elevate discussions of race in society - and, this just after the release in the spring of 2008 of a report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, which is highly critical of federal legislation removing race from the equation of adoption placement decisions. Culturally relevant adoption practice, says Samuels, requires a level of "nuance" which is very difficult to legislate.In her foster care research, Samuels is studying how the child welfare system can play a constructive role in building supportive family networks for young adults aging out of care. A key challenge for foster children is developing a family-based sense of identity, buffeted as they often are by influences from biological and foster parents, siblings, and peers. In her paper, "A reason, a season, or a lfetime: Relational permanence among young adults with foster care backgrounds," she finds that dependable emotional support systems are what's most needed by foster youth - and most missing. The study, funded by the Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative, recommended that foster care workers seek to build permanent networks that include biological and foster family members, highlighting the important role of caseworkers as youth transition to adulthood.https://www.linkedin.com/in/gmsamuels/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Doug almost died when he was 5. When he found out he was adopted at 6 he took that in his stride. What on earth do these two things have to do with one another? What on earth can we learn from this to help us be happier? Listen in with big ears. This is a BIG episode!Here's a bit about Doug from Amazon"I lost my adoptive mother, and my adoptive father has since remarried. However, I always felt a longing to know more about my biological family. I discovered that I may have a sibling somewhere. I felt it was important to learn about my biological parents and any potential medical issues that could impact me or my family in the future. In this book, I share my journey of researching my biological family, from using "official" documentation before DNA testing was available to discovering my DNA relatives. If you're an adoptee or searching for your biological family, this book may offer valuable insights and guidance for your own journey. This book includes a Discussion Guide for reading groups."More at https://www.amazon.com/stores/Douglas-M.-Dubrish/author/B003DO5ZWS?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=truehttps://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Doug0206https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4274876.Douglas_M_Dubrish Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Identity is tricky - to say the least - for many of us adoptees. For late discovery adoptees it can be a complete nightmare. LDA Fred's identity was swept away. So how did he find out who he really is? Listen as Fred shares his learning curve and see how that could help you along yours. There are lessons aplenty for all of us - not just LDAs.Here's a bit about Fred from his website.Fred Nicora has followed a path of unexplained restlessness ignited by undisclosed triggers in his efforts to find the right fit for his own identity and seek truth in his life. Careers explored on his journey include health care administration, architecture, business consulting, high school and middle school teaching, corporate business management, and his own entrepreneurial endeavors including a startup fitness-based nutrition company and now authoring stories reflecting his perspective and insights of experiences from traumatic events and unusual life altering experiences including his status as a Late Discovery Adoptee. His work thoughtfully examines self-identity, adoption, recovery from addiction, spiritual, mental, and physical fitness, and faith.​Fred’s other passion is developing and selling nutrient packed, delicious, gluten free baked products sold as Fred’s Breads, www.fredsbreadstore.com. Offerings focus on a unique blend of mouth-watering flavor combinations naturally high in protein with additional protein boosts available. Some products are also offered as vegan gluten free. Fred holds a B.S. in Business Administration, an M.S. in Management Technology, a Master’s in Architecture and a secondary lifetime Teaching License via a master’s program. Following a traumatic life altering event, Fred struggled with drug and alcohol addiction eventually finding sobriety and his need for spiritual, mental, and physical health. A father of three grown children, Fred currently lives and maintains a small hobby farm in Southeastern Wisconsin where he breeds and sells registered Dexter cattle. Lines are bred for excellent temperament, in both polled and horned options with strong confirmation in both milking and beefing lines.https://www.instagram.com/frednicora.fitness/https://twitter.com/frednicorahttps://www.facebook.com/fred.nicorahttps://www.frednicora.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Hypervigilance — the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you — is often the result of a trauma. No wonder it's so common amongst us adoptees. Listen in as Jools and I explore it and becoming comfortable in our own skins.Here's a bit about Jools from her website:I am an adoptee from the “Baby Scoop” era. I spent more than 25 years searching for my biological origins in Australia- from the US. The last piece was put into place thanks to Genetic Genealogy. Since then, I have helped numerous Adoptees, MPEs (Misattributed Parentage) and Donor Conceived Individuals find their origins. As of this writing I have solved upwards of 200 cases.Why Choose me for your search?I spent the first three years of my career working for a Private Investigator. I finally decided to branch out on my own because, for many, going through a PI was cost prohibitive. With me there is no “middle man”- so my fees are typically less than half the cost of a larger company- but with the benefit of one on one expert assistance and counseling.There are many services that provide a variety of search options for Adoptees, NPE/MPEs, DCPs and Foundlings.The difference is that I am an Adoptee. I’m also an MPE (Misattributed Parentage Event). Having found my biological mother in 1989 I was told who my biological father was. I spent 25 years looking for him. I finally succeeded in 2014. I proceeded to build out the entire paternal tree and travelled to Australia to meet my father, siblings and multiple extended family members. Whilst there I asked my father to “spit in a tube” for me- just to make it official.Do you see where this is going? You guessed it. The DNA results showed that he was not my father. Devastating.After my biological mother indicated that she was as surprised as I was- and had absolutely no idea who it might be- I began studying my DNA and learning how to use DNA results to find answers for myself. That happened in 2016 when a close enough paternal match showed up (2nd cousin) and, with the help of my mentors, finally received my answer. My father passed away in 2009. I don’t want that to happen to others.Check out her and her great podcast at:https://cutoffgenes.com/https://www.facebook.com/geneticgenealogy/https://www.instagram.com/cutoffgenespodcast/https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-jackson-0a767523/https://www.tiktok.com/@joolsjacksonhttps://twitter.com/joolsjackson Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Our volcanic eruptions of anger threatens to burn us alive. Gut wrenching shame threatens to engulf and drown us. So how do we survive this rollercoaster of a life? Listen in as Carolyn shares what she's learned - and continues to learn - to heal.Carolyn or Patricia as her birth mother named her, was born in April 1959, in the historic English town of Stratford- upon- Avon. She was the first daughter of Pat, a young secretary and dancer who met her father while working her first seasonat Butlins in sunny Skegness. At six weeks old she was adopted by a Birmingham couple, her father being a local chartered accountant. Although her adoptive parents had hoped to adopt again she found herself growing up as an only child, which caused her to feel lonely at times.Being a bright girl Carolyn was moved into a class of children two years her senior making it even more difficult to fit in. From time to time she found herself becoming unexpectedly angry, these sporadic outbursts continuing into adulthood and causing her to be misunderstood by others around her. She didn’t discover where this rage originated from until her coach suggested she explored the possibility of it being her inner child trying to attract her attention. This was the key that unlocked so much of how she had felt all her life. The sense of rejection, being a misfit, continually seeking validation, love and acceptance that had led to her falling into two abusive relationships, difficulty bonding with her children, it all made sense now. With this new found understanding she could start to work through the past and begin to heal the invisible wound within. Carolyn has always worked in the health and care sector, first as a physiotherapist and more since 2011 as a support worker for vulnerable older adults. Her compassion and empathy also led her to writing her first memoir From A Place Called Shame and contributing to several multi-author books; all of which share a part of her life and recovery story to inspire those walking a similar path. Our volcanic eruptions of anger threatens to burn us alive. Gut wrenching shame chills the molten lava in an instant only to threaten to engulf, overwhelm then drown us. So how do we survive this rollercoaster of a life? Listen in as Carolyn shares what she's learned - and continues to learn - to navigate the tough stuff.Carolyn has been described by many as a lightworker and is called the Overcoming Queen by those in her social media circles. She is currently working towards creating a trauma recovery workshop Paint It Out, providing a safe space to throw emotions onto canvas thereby externalising them, a vital step in releasing, healing and moving forward from pain in our past. Follow/ contact Carolyn here: https://www.facebook.com/carolynjaneparkerhttps://www.instagram.com/restoringselfbeliefFrom A Place Called Shame, the trails & tribulations of my teens, and twenties from college to motherhood which I began to understand in light of the inner child work. https://amzn.eu/d/74Zh0I8Beautifully Broken (ch1 :Little Miss Misunderstood is the story of me discovering my inner child / impact of this )https://amzn.to/3Rt32dW Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

The powerful emotions we adoptees feel can sometimes threaten to overwhelm us. So how do we get past those feelings? Listen in as fellow adoptee and podcaster Jennifer and I explore trauma, deceit, identity, mindful awareness and much more. Here's a bit about Jennifer from her website:Hi, I'm Jennifer who is an adoptee in reunion with both sides of my birth family. I have been connected with the adoption community for over a decade and am always interested in hearing the personal stories of adoptees from all over the globe. I was born and raised in Chicago, IL. and in foster care for two years before my adoption. Prior to my 48th birthday, I set the intention to search for my birth family. The Truth So Far… is a memoir of my willingness to be open, honest and public about my adoption experience.Once Upon A Time...In Adopteeland, the podcast is another way for me to hopefully add a valuable resource to the adoption community from the perspective of the adoptee.https://www.jenniferdyanghoston.com/https://www.instagram.com/jenniferdyanghostonhttps://www.facebook.com/Onceuponatimeinadopteeland/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How can we love ourselves when we don't know who we are. Listen in as adoptee Ron shares what he's learned about his genetic identity and history to get closure. We also talk about busting the belief we are not loveable.Ron Levi (1964- ) was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan and raised his family in Centennial, Colorado for eleven years before returning to Michigan in 2007. Mr. Levi is a Senior Project Management Professional and Entrepreneur with over 30 years of experience in technical sales, business startup & operations, and customer service. Certified in the Project Management profession by the Project Management Institute (PMP), the IBM Corporation, and Stanford University (SCPM), he holds a B.A. inPsychology from the Wayne State University. He founded One Nation Books and Art in 1993 and is the inventor of Ojamas, novelty election-themed pajamas which were sold world-wide during the 2008 US Presidential Election campaign.Ron and his wife, Frances, are also the parents of three adult sons who have played competitive ice hockey at every level from mini-mite through high school, midget AAA and on to the professional ranks. They know what it's like to be new to the game without any experience whatsoever, and they know what its like to hear their son's name called at the NHL Entry Draft. His first book, Navigating Youth Hockey: The Definitive Guide for Parents and Players, was released June 27, 2015 as an e-book exclusively on Amazon.com.Ron's first full-length novel, Spitting Image, is co-authored by family genealogist, Frances Lillian Stephens. It is the true story of a child abandoned at birth whose search for his genetic identity spans over 4 decades and unlocks secrets and amazing coincidences many hundreds of years in the making.https://www.facebook.com/ronleviauthor/https://www.ronaldlevi.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Finding our own worth can be tough for us adoptees. And yet it's vital for self esteem. Listen in as adoptee Elena and I explore this vital topic from both a religious and non religious perspective.Elena S Hall is a LMSW, adoptee, author, and speaker who has a passion for adoption advocacy that stems from her faith and family. She loves to write, dance, sing, and tell stories. Her goal is to aid those in the adoption triad to promote healing and growth...https://www.facebook.com/throughadoptedeyes/https://www.instagram.com/throughadoptedeyes/https://twitter.com/adoptedeyeshttps://throughadoptedeyes.wixsite.com/Here's the link to the book I mention https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Elizabeth/dp/B00LLOIW6I Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

What's the difference between sabotaging ourselves and protecting ourselves? How do we stop sabotaging ourselves? Adoptee, adoptive parent and psychologist Chaitra dives deep into this area so we understand what's going on and get out of our own way.Here's a bit about Chaitra from her website:Since taking my first psychology class in high school, I knew that this was the field in which I was meant to work. When the Columbine High School tragedy occurred so close to home, I became dedicated to working with youth and families who had experienced trauma, and this connected strongly with my other areas of passion: adoption and bullying. I was adopted from India as an infant, and understand firsthand what is like to struggle with issues of race, identity, societal expectations, and family relationships – and after adopting my own child, my awareness of the multi-faceted and complex world of adoption grew.I have worked in the mental health field since 2002, and I am currently a licensed psychologist in Colorado, with the ability to practice in multiple other states through PSYPACT approval. I believe that every individual who visits my office has a unique story to share, and deserves to have their story heard in a safe, compassionate, and supportive space. I strongly believe in the importance of valuing each client’s lived experiences, especially those who identify with marginalized identities and are seeking professional support from a provider with a passion for social justice. I carefully and thoughtfully chose the name of my practice, “Beyond Words,” because I believe that our therapeutic relationship is built on a foundation of trust and collaboration that goes beyond language to a place of genuine understanding.I am the author of the “Adoptees Like Me” illustrated children’s book series for elementary readers, which debuted with Marie Discovers Her Superpowers in 2022. I am a current contributor to I AM ADOPTEE and serve on their subsidized mental health program review board. I have also served on the Adoptee Advisory Board for Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families and the Society of Adoption Professionals of Color in Adoption.https://growbeyondwords.com/https://www.facebook.com/BeyondWordsPsychologicalServices Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Birthmother Cathryn Vogeley went through hell. PTSD messed up her mind. Listen in as she tells how that mind got blown. In a good way. To help her heal. Understanding what she went through will blow adoptees' minds too. In a good way too. Listen in as we talk unconditional love and ending our feelings of separation.Cathryn Vogeley was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania during the post WWII baby boom. She earned a Master’s degree as a nurse specialist and treated hundreds of patients with chronic wounds. Her mission is, and has always been, healing. After leaving the medical world, she began writing and discovered a passion for the craft. Her memoir is titled I NEED TO TELL YOU, and was published in May of 2022 by WiDo publishing. Cathryn's work can be found in GrandeDame Literary journal, 5MinLit, and Reedsy's weekly short story contest for which she won first place.Cathryn raised two daughters with whom she enjoys close relationships. Her greatest pleasure is watching her grandchildren discover all that life has to offer. The Pacific Northwest is her home where she lives with her husband and three terriers.https://cathrynreadsandwrites.com/https://www.instagram.com/cathrynthewriter/https://www.facebook.com/cathryn.vogeley/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Bob Saul was born in Chicago, IL and grew up in the Chicago area and later moved to Colorado. A graduate of Colorado College and the University of Colorado School of Medicine, he completed pediatric training at Duke University Medical Center and genetic training at the Greenwood Genetic Center. He is Professor of Pediatrics (Emeritus) at Prisma Health Children’s Hospital-Upstate and the University of South Carolina School of Medicine – Greenville, Greenville, SC.He has two grown children, Bradley and Ben, and has been married to his wife, Jan, for over 35 years. His books include MY CHILDREN’S CHILDREN: RAISING YOUNG CITIZENS IN THE AGE OF COLUMBINE, ALL ABOUT CHILDREN and THINKING DEVELOPMENTALLY: NURTURING WELLNESS IN CHILDHOOD TO PROMOTE LIFELONG HEALTH (the latter co-authored with Dr. Andy Garner and published by the American Academy of Pediatrics). His latest book, CONSCIOUS PARENTING: USING THE PARENTAL AWARENESS THRESHOLD, was published in March 2020.His grandchildren, Camilla and Aster, keep him grounded and always working on behalf of children and families.https://www.facebook.com/mychildrenschildrenhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/robertasaul/https://mychildrenschildren.com/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Shame is toxic. So how do we let it go? Laura shares some of her story and insights to help us heal through an understanding of what birth mothers go through. It's an incredibly powerful episode. Listen with big ears. Savour it and feel the love.Here's a bit about Laura and her book from her website:My book is about Laura, a woman who lived her life with her secrets finds her greatest secret unearthed at age 67. The child she was forced to give up for adoption when she was 17 in an Unwed Mothers Home in New Orleans unexpectedly sends her an email. Meeting her 49 year-old son rocked her world and cracked her soul wide open. She found the acceptance and love she had always denied herself had been with her all along. My book tells an incredibly sad story but ends with a story of grace, hope, and extraordinary joy.https://www.facebook.com/lauralengelauthor/https://www.instagram.com/storytellerlaura/https://lauralengel.com/https://lauralengel.com/books/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Trauma is scary. Of course we adoptees have been through trauma and experience it when triggered. So we desperately want it gone. We want to be FROM trauma. But what we focus on gets bigger and what we resist persists. What if we could be free WITH it? Listen in as we explore this...Here's links I mentionBullyinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBsDhBu7eUY&tHealing my primal woundhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQMolly McCaffrey goes as M Hendrix (she/her).Born in Baltimore and raised in New Jersey, she is an adoptee who has lived in ten states and now makes her home in Bowling Green, Kentucky, with her husband, New York Times bestselling author David Bell. The Chaperone is her first novel - forthcoming with Sourcebooks Fire on June 6, 2023.M earned her bachelor’s degree in journalism at Indiana University before studying literature and creative writing in graduate school, receiving her master’s degree from Miami University and her doctorate from the University of Cincinnati, where she was a Taft Fellow. She has been nominated five times for the Pushcart Prize and was shortlisted for the Aesthetica creative writing award. She is represented by John Cusick of Folio Literary. Her work has appeared in Newsweek, Aesthetica, The Independent, USA Today, The Vestal Review, Psychology Today, The Satirist, Nzuri, The Haven, Letters to Dead Authors, Medium, 2nd & Church, Word Salad, Quirk, Cairn, Gravity Hill, the Louisville Courier-Journal, the Bowling Green Daily News, and more. She is also the author of two previous books. For a complete list of publications, click here.https://www.tiktok.com/@mhendrixwriteshttps://www.mhendrixwrites.com/https://www.instagram.com/mhendrixwrites/https://twitter.com/MHendrixWrites Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Do you compare yourself to others? Then beat yourself up for doing it? Would you like to forgive yourself for that or being angry? Would you like to love yourself more? And see your true self? Listen in as transracial/international adoptee Amanda shares what she's learning about what really matters to us adoptees.Here's the videos I mention in the interview:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_AaeYGXVYQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyGZE9WXIg8Here's a link to Amanda's Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/twin_flame_rising/Here's more about Fireside Adoptees🔥 Welcome to Fireside Adoptees 🔥 Our motto in a nutshell is: 🏕C community 🏕A advocate 🏕M mentor 🏕P pace 🔥We want to encourage and empower adoptees to work within their Community, Advocate for themselves and others, Mentor those who are farther behind in the journey called life, and set a slow and steady Pace so we don’t burn out and to help others also learn to pace their journey 🔥We aim to help adoptees see the heroes within themselves, and how they can draw strength from their pain/challenges. Join us: 🏕Thursdays 6:30 to 7:30pm EST 🏕Sundays 3 to 4pm EST on zoom for fun and fellowship …. Zoom Dm for details! 🔥Where we discuss adoption from surviving to thriving! We may not have a choice in how our story starts but we have a say in the now! Keep thriving adoptee, you are worth it! Fireside Adoptee Team🏕🔥🏕https://www.facebook.com/groups/1411791922534076https://www.instagram.com/firesideadoptees/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Usually it's us adoptees that doing the searching for our birth mothers and fathers. But what if they find us? That's what happened to today's guest. Christine's biological mother found her! Listen as she unpacks the tricky emotions and events that followed to finally find some peace. Christine Murphy lives in Saratoga Springs, New York with her husband and three children. She works as a Speech Language Pathologist helping special needs children. Christine was adopted by a loving family in 1969 in a closed adoption. In 1992, she received an unexpected phone call from her birthmother. Shaken by the situation Christine chose not to meet. In 2007, after a health scare and some words from God, Christine contacted and met her birthmother and half-brothers. Their reunion continues to evolve.To find a solution, a person must first admit there is a problem. Taking Down the Wall is a chronicle of one woman's journey to the painful and reluctant admission that there is indeed a problem, her refusal to let an old wound heal. The journey takes twists and unexpected turns but eventually arrives in a place of peace. Issues involving adoption, reunion, addiction, death and grief are addressed in the context of real life, humor, spirituality and healing. Taking Down the Wall will make you cry, make you laugh and most of all, make you think.https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Down-Wall-Christine-Murphy-ebook/dp/B079K4SGQB/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=XJ49HXT32JMJ&keywords=taking+down+the+wall+murphy&qid=1678233701&sprefix=taking+down+the+wall+murphy%2Caps%2C101&sr=8-1 Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We all want to love and accept ourselves. But how can we do that when we don't know who we are? What else gets in the way of us loving ourselves? Listen in as Diane explore the truth of who we are, what comes after the fog and much more in this empowering episode.Here's more about Diane from her website:Diane Bay has had a lifelong, unquenchable creative drive. It wasn’t until she entered her fifties that she discovered where it may have come from: her artistic birth mother and birth father.The natural world has always felt like home to Diane. As a child she spent hours in the climbing tree in her suburban Chicago back yard, often daydreaming of her birth mother. Little did she know that, at the same time, her birth mom was becoming a famous actress in Hollywood. Karen Black was an icon of the American New Wave cinema of the seventies, starring in prominent films including Easy Rider, Five Easy Pieces and The Great Gatsby.But just as Diane longed for her natural maternal connection, Karen’s heart ached for the child she gave away. But after Karen signed the closed adoption papers and a nurse carried away her daughter, all the information about the child was sealed away, and her searches turned up empty.Diane tried to find her birth mother also, but sealed adoption records made this impossible until 2011, when Illinois finally opened these records. In July of 2012 Diane received her original birth certificate and saw her birth mother’s name for the first time. A quick Google search provided the facts she’d sought for decades, and a face she was familiar with from the silver screen. Right away Diane sent a Facebook message to Karen’s fan page.Sadly, at the time Illinois passed the law that unsealed these records, Karen heard the terrible news that she had a rare form of cancer. Her time was running out.But then on August 8, 2012, she read Diane’s message and responded with acceptance and joy. And just like that, decades of heartache for both of them vanished, and a reunion was in place. They met in September, in Karen’s Hollywood home, with hugs and tears, feeling like family right away. Karen introduced her to her birth father, Robert Benedetti, still a good friend. He has also spent his life in the acting world as a TV producer, theatre director and much more.At the time of their meetings, Diane was producing excellent, nostalgic works with graphite pencils. Karen was immediately impressed, and encouraged her daughter to pursue oil painting. During the weeks Diane spent caring for Karen, she soaked up her birth mothers joie de vivre, her rich and enthusiastic love of life’s moments even in the face of her own mortality. Diane’s goal is to imbue her artwork with this energetic spirit.On August 8, 2013, Karen passed away. She and Diane had exactly one calendar year together.Diane Bay now lives with her husband on a forested lot near Kentucky Lake. She paints the rural nostalgic countryside of the Mid South. Diane has taken workshops from the Southeast region’s fine plein air artists such as Bill Fletcher and Kathie Odom, and online tutorials by national artists such as Scott Christensen and Kathleen Dunphy. She is a member of PAPA Gallery in Paducah, KY and The Chestnut Group in Leiper’s Fork, TN, and associate member of Oil Painters of America.For information on Diane's book, please visit FindingKarenBlack.com. See her artwork here: DianeBay.comhttps://www.facebook.com/findingkarenblackhttps://www.instagram.com/dianebaydesign/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

This episode is a bit different and experimental. Listening back to it, I'm a little hesitant and fumbling. I start by reading a poem about my diamond and we talk about self worth. Kay is far more together and clear. I hope you get something from this.Kay wanted to be anonymous to protect herself and others.Here's a link to the webinar replay:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQHere's a link to the book by mentorhttps://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9T Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Thriving can seem impossible given our trauma. So how DO we thrive? Maline and I dive into freeing ourselves up, re-configuring our brains and letting new ideas in. We talk about lightening up on ourselves to progress along the healing curve.Here's a bit about Maline from her website:"I am an adoptee who through lived experience has been able to better understand the thoughts of adoptees young and old. As an adoptee I am able to connect with those living the life I once lived. With a degree in Psychology, Education, and Theological Studies, I use my knowledge as a resource for adoptive parents who seek help answering the bigger and harder questions their adoptive children begin to ask as early as two(2) years old. As an adoptive mother, my connection to other adoptive parents are real and also very unique."Here's a link to her website, books etc.http://noomaconsult.weebly.com/https://www.lulu.com/search?contributor=Mae+Claire&adult_audience_rating=00https://www.facebook.com/noomaconsulting https://www.amazon.com/Perks-Being-Adoptee-Mae-Claire/dp/1365797562https://www.linkedin.com/in/maline-carroll-33813068/ Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.