Audio is streamed directly from the publisher (podcasts.captivate.fm) as published in their RSS feed. Play Podcasts does not host this file. Rights-holders can request removal through the copyright & takedown page.
Show Notes
Alone and Ok
- For the first time in a long time, I’m alone at home.
- Some kids are with darcy at a playgroup, others are out running errands, one, I’ve just dropped off at work
- There was a time when this would be a moment of struggle.
- When I would fight, with all my might to stay clean through this time.
- Being alone, with no one to catch me, was always a moment where my mind would offer me thoughts like, “nows your chance” “no one will know”
- As a business traveler, I found myself in hotel rooms alone often.
- It was a consistent pattern that I would end up, at some point, spending a few minutes at least and sometimes an hour or so, viewing pornography.
- Having 8 kids, there have been very few rare moments where I was strictly alone at home
- So, on the road is where I would do it most often.
- Part of it was loneliness
- Part of it was boredom.
- Part of it was the idea that I could get away with something and the only person who would know was me.
- That last one is the one that really, in the end, made it so I stopped looking at pornography
- Last night I had a conversation with a client who was telling me about his ‘accountability’ partners.
- As he described them, various people, including his wife, he asked me, what my thoughts are on the software for accountability and accountability parnters in general
- He also asked if there were a permanent filter that I know of that is free
- I told him, the only filter or accountability person that really ends up working, is your own brain.
- That is the only way I know how to truly end a bad habit.
- Is retraining our brains to no longer desire pornography, no longer follow the urges, and no longer ignoring our moral compass.
- That process is what I coach people on, how I help them to get to where they want to be.
- That is how I got to the place I am now.
- Alone, in my house. With no one to catch me.
- Yet not even fighting with my urges in the slightest.
- Because, I could look at pornography if I wanted to.
- I’m allowed, by virtue of my agency to do so.
- But I choose not to, because the person I want to be, doesn’t
- Not because there is a filter I couldn’t surpass
- There is no free, permanent filter available.
- You get what you pay for
- That’s why I do the work I do.
- I wish I had a coach that would have helped me through this process.
- Because so many of us, feel like we can’t be alone.
- We don’t trust ourselves.
- We aren’t yet capable of saying no when there is no other barrier.
-