This Week in the Ancient Near East

Today we’re talking about the possibility that the famous site of Dura Europos – you know, the giant Hellenistic multicultural walled city with a synagogue, church and temples etc., had a twin, just six kilometers down the Euphrates River. A twin in Bucks County, Pennsylvania would be more surprising but you take what you can get.

The Late Bronze Age temple at Tell Azekah in the Judean Shephelah has us wondering, why does it face the sun, why is it so small, how often was it used, and how could you possibly have a wedding there? Not that we’re looking for a place, mind you. With an obvious and well deserved shoutout to Timbuk 3!

Today we’re talking about efforts to recreate woolly mammoths, apparently in order to 1) combat climate change, 2) cure cancer, and 3) re-wild the tundra. Our first reactions are, what? But our second reactions are a deep dive into the ethics of paleo-genomic research. Finally, there’s a shoutout to everyone’s favorite giant armadillo tank, Tarkus, and a rare reference to Tasha Yar. So there’s something for everyone.

A Roman medical office in southwestern Turkey has us talking medicine. Were the same instruments used for cataracts and hemorrhoids? What kind of insurance did gladiators have anyway? Our contestants are concerned about sanitary conditions, however. With an inevitable shoutout to Theodoric, Barber of York.

What was sleep like in antiquity and was it really that different from today? Aside from all the sheep next to you, the guy knapping flint at midnight, and having to climb a ladder and run across the rooftops in order to go to the bathroom, that is.

A temple dedicated to Alexander the Great at the Mesopotamian site of Girsu has us asking questions. Was this the meta-crossover event of the century or just some guys in an office making some plaques for a foreign chump passing through? Our contestants disagree but give a special shoutout to Molly Pitcher, heroine of the New Jersey Turnpike!

Plant remains from the Philistine temples at Tell es Safi (aka Gat) have us asking questions. Sure they’re lovely seasonal items but were they tastefully displayed? How about those strong parallels in Greece? And for the very first time the listener stops by with an unexpected tale of a visit to tunnels beneath Nineveh, newly liberated from ISIS!

Today we’re talking about what it means when dogs wags their tails, and then working backward about 15,000 years to the question of their domestication. Sure dogs help, herd and guard us humans, but in the process did they help us learn to love? If Scooby and Shaggy are any indication, then the answer is clear. With a special shoutout to Tucker, ace goldendoodle of the Upper West Side!

The growing ability of Artificial Intelligence to transliterate and translate Mesopotamian texts has us asking questions. Will AI be a force for good, putting texts into the hands of the people or will it throw folks out of work and let charlatans push out nonsense? You're asking us? Anyway, as a bonus, our contestants offer touching memories of their first encounters with Assyriologists!

Psychoacoustic search at the Sanctuary of Zeus on Mount Lycaion shows that the builders constructed an entire site around sound. You could hear everything from the cheap seats, but was the experience really social rather than acoustic? With special shoutouts to The Who, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, and Boston area favorite, Human Sexual Response!

Like most people, the find of an obsidian core on the seafloor off Capri has us asking, how did a chunk of the Neolithic period’s favorite shiny stone get to the bottom of the Mediterranean and, was a sunken canoe involved? After answering “who knows,” our (non-sailing) contestants are left to ponder the bravery of those who sailed in the Neolithic and ask, was it such a big deal?

In our triumphant return we’re laser focused on new radiocarbon dates from destructions at Late Bronze Age and Iron Age Gezer in Israel. These destructions might be the doing of better dated Egyptian kings like Merneptah, and could link back to events described in the Bible. So not really like a laser, more bouncing around like a ping pong ball.

This Week in the Ancient Near East is taking a short break while one member of our plucky band recovers from a nasty illness. We’ll be back soon with all new episodes and the same old schtick!

A burial cave on the Western Mediterranean island of Minorca dating to 1000 BCE contained 200 individuals and wooden boxes of dyed human hairs. The hairs were full of drugs, which leads our contestants to ask just what kind of parties were going on down there and why we weren’t invited. A few flashbacks to the 1970s result.

Excavation of Iron Age cesspits in Jerusalem has us thinking many things. These include 1) wow, they actually recovered protozoa that caused dysentery, how’d they do that, and, 2) umm, Jerusalem elites were really unhealthy. Our contestants try to keep the juvenile humor to a minimum.

A new article suggests that an elite Copper Age burial in southern Spain belonged to a young woman, not a man, and that society was a matriarchy. Our contestants are a little conflicted about reconstructing society starting with a single tooth, but it sounds a bit like Barbie Land, which is cool with us.

A cave near Beth Shemesh in Israel seems to have been a Late Roman portal to the underworld. How do we know? Did the detached skulls tell us? Our contestants take pro and anti-necromancy stances, but in a good way.

A new report on Natufian aerophones from Eynan-Mallaha has us wondering, what’s an aerophone? It’s a bone with holes, sort of like a flute or a bird call. So are humans replicating bird sounds to catch birds or to make music? Is all this ritual or is it just hunting? All the same, really, isn't it?

A new inscription from Jerusalem’s Pilgrim’s Road looks like a receipt from the Early Roman period. It’s also on a piece of stone, which seems difficult to file. We’ve got Emily Dickinson and emojis, religious observance, and the suspicious relationship between writing and literacy. With a special shoutout to Major Deegan and his expressway!

Pits with dismembered hands at the Hyksos site of Tell el Dab’a/Avaris have us asking, what is it with ancient Egypt and dismemberment? Sure the king wants to permanently defeat his enemies – really, who doesn’t want that - but isn’t all this hand chopping business just, well, performance art? It’s our most hands on episode yet!

The discovery of grapes pips at Late Antique Avdat in the northern Negev has us asking questions, like who makes wine in the desert anyway, and how do you get the wine from the desert to the people? Is this a story of wine fancying monks or Breaking Bad style middlemen? Pour a glass and settle in with our contestants!

A new report on Iron Age temples in Jordan has us puzzled. How different are the cults to national gods and their shrines on both sides of the Jordan River, you know, really? And if a Moabite walked into a Judean bar, would you know? Watch us go from a very small building to huge questions about world religions!

The discovery of a tavern at Early Dynastic Lagash has us asking questions. Who drank there, who ran the joint, and how did you pay come to mind, along with the obvious problems of drunks and pickled eggs. With a special shoutout to wise bartenders everywhere from Siduri to Sam Malone!

The discovery of an Iron Age pot in Jerusalem with an inscription in a South Arabian language has us flustered. We knew there was an ancient spice trade between the Levant and Yemen, but does this mean that Solomon and Sheba were real? It’s a spicy discussion with breathless notes of labdanum. Come for the world systems theory, stay for all the aunts in a cloud of Shalimar!

A 52 foot long Book of the Dead sounds like a super deluxe edition, but if you’re traveling from death to judgment and into the afterlife you can’t be too careful. But did anyone in ancient Egypt actually believe this stuff? What about the non-believers? Where did they fit in? Our contestants slide effortlessly into Spinoza mode, but still worry a little about Ammit, devoureress of the dead.

In 1923 Cecil B. De Mille made The Ten Commandments on a huge Egyptian set in the California dunes, which archaeologists have excavated. So obviously we’re asking, what’s the deal with Biblical movies? Ripping yarns or morality tales with Nazi punching? And would a picture about the backbreaking scientific tedium of real archaeology be a crowdpleaser? With a special shoutout to our friends Donny Osmond and Walter Benjamin!

Fingerprints on ancient pottery? Like from the potters? Ok, we’re not cops but we are a little curious. Who are these potters at Byzantine Moza, Tell Leilan, Tell en Nasbeh, Tell es Safi, and other Bronze and Iron Age sites around the Near East? Who's producing what and why are they using child labor to decorate pottery? Maybe we really should call the cops.

Central Asian tin in a Late Bronze Age shipwreck at the bottom of Mediterranean raises questions like, “who brought the tin thousands of kilometers west from what’s now Uzbekistan,” and “who’s tin was it when the boat sank.” Ok, they’re not questions like, “what is best in life” or “are you going to eat that sandwich” but they’re what we’ve got.

The discovery of a 26th Dynasty mummification workshop has shown that exotic ingredients came from as far as India and Africa. Is this just an early version of Goop, rich people getting sold on weird ingredients just because the poors were catching up? But then how do we explain the sun dried crocodiles? Go ahead, we’ll wait.

This is the city, Uruk. I was working the day shift out of the Eanna Temple when the call came in about a missing sheep and tunic. We picked up the perp pretty quickly and he started to sing, so we rolled up 39 of his pals. But word came down that the great and the good were putting up bail. That’s when the king got involved and things got interesting.

In the Middle Paleolithic dinner included plants like bitter vetch and mustard. The problem is these plants are toxic. So who figured out that you had to soak, pound and char them before eating? More importantly, what happened to the folks who didn’t figure it out? Come for the helpful cooking hints, stay for the incisive comments on wraps!

New Biblical era inscriptions allegedly by Hezekiah are making waves in the newspapers. They raise many questions like, where’s the full scholarly publication, and, how about a decent picture at least? Is that how we do it now, just talk about stuff in the papers before producing the goods? How do we know if something is real and spectacular if it isn’t reviewed by a jury of one’s peers? Our contestant are washing the delicates in public!

Ancient Apocalypse on Netflix has been watched like 25 million times and archaeologists are up in arms. It’s worlds in collision! It’s an unsolved mystery! But really, what’s the big deal? Is crazy talk about a vanished civilization dangerous or ludicrous? Our contestants disagree amusingly on many issues. THAT’S WHY THEY SHOULD HAVE A NETFLIX SERIES! With a special guest appearance by Simon McCorkingdale, as Manimal!

An ivory lice comb found at Iron Age Lachish is actually from the Middle Bronze Age and contains the first complete Canaanite sentence. It talks about lice. Didn’t see that coming. So obviously we argue about hair care products and the connection between literacy and nearsightedness.

New data shows that cities in southern Mesopotamia were often islands in the stream divided by canals with lots of open spaces. What does it mean for early urban life if you have to take a gondola to work? Did kids learn to swim at Sumerian YMCAs? Who knew that urbanism was such a splash?

The discovery of cheese in a 25th Dynasty Egyptian tomb made us realize, everybody loves cheese. But what is cheese, really? And whether a spreadable chevre or a squeaky halloumi, how did people even survive it before pasteurization? Our panelists stand proudly with the cheese.

A little smidgeon of a papyrus has returned from Montana to Jerusalem. Does it date to the Iron Age? Is it real? Does it contain the word Ishmael? How did it get to Montana? Our contestants are confused, as usual. Maybe more than usual, which is saying a lot.

The find of ivory decorations for furniture in Iron Age Jerusalem raises many questions. Where does the furniture come from and why does it look so uncomfortable? Were these diplomatic gifts or local knockoffs? Were there really elephants wandering around Syria in this period? Isn’t that what we should really be talking about?

A recent article on a button-like toy has us wondering, what are toys anyway and what are they for? Were there actually children in the past? And what is playing, really? No, really, what is playing? And that’s where things started getting sticky for us.

The upcoming 100th anniversary of the discovery of King Tut’s tomb has us talking about the discoverer, Howard Carter, who seems to have had sticky fingers and a propensity to fudge the story of his find. Ethics? Morals? Does it matter? Look at all that nice stuff!

New research shows that certain Late Bronze Age pots from Cyprus really did contain opium, which isn’t too surprising since they’re shaped like opium poppies. What’s going on? What was all this opium for? Was everyone in the past on drugs? Sure looks that way.

A new article on Neolithic skulls raises questions, like just how did all those skulls get separated from the bodies? Were there human sacrifices in the Neolithic or were there “ancestor cults,” whatever those were? Our contestants must dodge the ick factor to get to the Truth.

New data that show the chicken was domesticated vastly later than previously thought have shattered the poultry paradigm. Moreover, chickens were elite pets for centuries before someone decided to toss them in a pot. The myths of the archaic bird die hard in this fast moving and delicious episode.

A new analysis has shown King Tut’s knife was made of sky iron, that’s right, iron from the sky, you know, like from a meteor, the kind from outer space. What’s so special about iron anyway and what’s the deal with diplomacy and gift giving in the Late Bronze Age? And why are we talking about bellbottoms and personal computers?

The underground cult site at Başbük in southeastern Turkey has us wondering, why depict Aramean deities in an Assyrian style? Is this an Iron Age cult site or a rich guy’s rec room? Or is it both? Mukīn-abūa of Tušhan, you sly dog.

The discovery of oysters and crabs at Nabatean and Roman caravan sites in the Negev has us thinking, what’s going on here? What do we learn about trade and traders from food remains? Have we been too focused on the exports and not enough on the imports? One thing is for sure, you gotta eat.

The giant stone sculptures of boxers found in a first millennium BCE Sardinian cemetery have our contestants puzzled. Are these protective deities or just slightly oversized sports heroes? And why does every culture around the world first pile stones and then carve them? Didn’t they have anything better to do with their time?

New research has begun to reconstruct the smell of ancient perfumes from Egyptian tombs. But rich folks always try to smell better. The bigger question is what did the past smell like as whole? Our contestants detect zesty notes of burning dung and a cloying variety of herbs and spices.

A Phoenician cemetery in Spain has us talking about, well, the Phoenicians. Who were they, where did they come from, and why do we even call them Phoenicians in the first place? Isn’t that sort of ‘othering’? And where does famed character actor Michael J. Pollard fit in?

A Late Byzantine/Early Islamic shipwreck off the coast of Israel has us donning our Speedos once again. Wasn’t this tramp steamer aware of the momentous political and social changes taking place on land? Who cares when you’ve got walnuts and broken glass to deliver!