The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast

How can recognizing powerlessness over a child’s addiction make it easier to detach and not enable them? Jacob joins us to tell his story and how he stopped trying fruitlessly to fix his son's addiction. He picked a couple of readings from ODAT — Jan 29 and Feb 11, saying that they have been and... The post A Son’s Addiction – 355 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Do you have trouble making decisions? What have you learned in recovery helps you make decisions? Eric, Spencer, and several of you share about indecision and making decisions. Our conversation was guided by these questions. Definition:  a choice that you make about something after thinking about several possibilities the ability to decide quickly and without... The post Making Decisions – 354 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What is on your mind? This episode is built from your voices, sharing your experience, strength, and hope. Sharing your dilemmas and questions. Readings and Links Some of you sent suggestions of books or other resources. Many Voices, One Journey Al-Anon's story of growth and recovery as experienced by individual members and the fellowship as... The post Voices – 353 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

How is your Inner Child? What can you do to heal its hurts and help it grow? Becky joined Spencer to talk about how she has come to know and heal her inner child. Our conversation was guided by these questions. I’m not really familiar with inner child work, can you tell me briefly what... The post Inner Child – 352 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

How are my recovery tools helping me to live with grief and loss? How am I feeling my feelings today? My father died a few days ago. I am grieving his loss. Because of my work in recovery, I can feel my feelings. I don't have to deny them, and stuff them. What a gift! The post Feeling my feelings – 351 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

My life was out of control, but I still thought I could control my loved one’s drinking. Cold Wednesday in April. The beginning of the story but also the middle of the story. Where is the beginning? When I learned, as a child, to take care of everyone else first? That I couldn’t be happy... The post My Life was Unmanageable – 350 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

“When I got busy, I got better”. I’ve heard this as an encouragement to service in recovery. What is service, and how can it support my recovery? Spencer and Ester talk about our experience with service, with support from almost a dozen listeners. Our discussion was guided by but certainly not limited to these questions.... The post Service in Al-Anon – 349 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

How can we use our recovery tools to help us when our loved ones are suffering from mental illness? Is it harder when our loved one is our child? Roberta shares her experience, strength, and hope around these questions. Our conversation was guided by these questions. How/when did you come to Al-Anon? Give as much... The post Teen Depression and Self-harm – 348 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

If I’m not the problem, then there is no solution. Huh? How does this make sense for my recovery. Spencer, Eric and several listeners share our thoughts about this idea. How would you have felt about this statement before you came into recovery? In what ways were you trying to fix other people’s problems? Which... The post If I am not the Problem, there is no Solution – 347 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What are you grateful for right now? Where do you have gratitude that isunexpected? How has the practice of gratitude helped you throughturbulent, stressful events and times? My gratitude this year is centered on people in my life. My brother, who is taking care of my aging, ailing parents. He is there when they have... The post Gratitude 2020 – 346 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Recovery takes time. That’s a good thing. Why? Ester leads us through a conversation about slow recovery, guided by these notes. Recovery, like everything in life, has its ebbs and flows.  An “ebb” in its noun form is defined in the Meriam Webster dictionary as “the reflux of the tide toward the sea” and as... The post Slow Recovery – 345 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

This has been a rough week for many of us in the United States, and outside the United States. As political processes wind their way through; as the pandemic is escalating; I wanted to take a moment to think about the ways in which I have used, and in which you can use program tools... The post Calming the Anxiety — 344 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

I heard someone in a meeting say, “the great thing is that there are no experts in Al-Anon.” What does this mean and why is it a great thing? Aren’t we all experts on our own stories? One expression of this idea is found in Tradition 8: Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional,... The post There are no experts in Al-Anon — 343 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Are you struggling with co-parenting your children with an alcoholic? What are your challenges? What tools have you found? Join Lynne and Linzi as they share their experience in a conversation guided by these questions. What was it like before, co-parenting with an alcoholic before recovery? What made you realize that this wasn’t how you... The post Co-parenting with an Alcoholic – 342 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

In episode 337, I talked with Amanda and Becky about how recovery and activism intersected for them. I got a lot of feedback about that episode with some very thoughtful sharing. This episode has your voices, without any discussion or comment by me. I want to thank everyone who contributed. You have given me a... The post Activism and Recovery – Your Voices – 341 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What is it like being married to an alcoholic minister who is beloved of his congregation? How might it cause you to behave in crazy ways? Today I am sharing with you a talk by Barbara K, recorded in 1993. I listened to this recently and I thought she captured so well the ways in... The post Married to an Alcoholic Minister – Barbara K – 340 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Do you feel that IT is your fault? How can recovery help you understand what is really your responsibility and what is absolutely not? Spencer and Eric discuss these questions along with shares from many of you. This topic was inspired by the scene “it's not your fault” from the movie Good Will Hunting. A... The post It’s Not Your Fault – 339 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

The serenity prayer asks for the wisdom to know the difference. What does this mean? And how does it happen? Ester joined me for a conversation about these questions. We thought we might structure our conversation by starting with the idea of “Knowing when I don’t know.” Then how “wisdom to know the difference” in... The post Wisdom to Know the Difference – 338 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

How can recovery, the serenity prayer, and the traditions of Al Anon guide me in working for societal change? When should I “let go and let God” and when should I work to “change the things I can”? Spencer, Amanda, and Becky have a wide-ranging discussion around these questions and others. We were joined virtually... The post Activism and Recovery with Amanda and Becky – 337 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Do you find yourself becoming irritable and unreasonable. Maybe without knowing it? How does your program of recovery help you out of that? Eric, Spencer, and several of you share our experience, strength, and hope around these questions and many others. The suggested Al-Anon/Alateen opening says Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions,... The post Irritable and Unreasonable – 336 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Humans are “obligatorily gregarious”. We need other people. When we don't have the connections we need, we suffer. We suffer emotionally with depression, anxiety, and hyper-vigilance. But we can also suffer physically with symptoms like high blood pressure and heart disease. In these days, we are all isolated. Some more, some less. Our usual ways... The post The Impact of Isolation — 335 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Once again, we hear your voices. Topics range through Meetings as Medicine, Step 7, patience and tolerance, loss, and the length of shares. Readings and Links A listener wrote about using Discord for recovery meetings. Eric sent us a link to an Insight Timer meditation about patience. I talked about the reading from Hope For... The post Many Voices – 334 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Are you finding it difficult to be patient? How are you tolerant of a world that isn’t going the way you want it to go? Definitions Tolerance is a personality trait. It reflects an attitude of open-mindedness, an acceptance of the behavior, beliefs and values of other. It is a term that is associated with... The post Patience and Tolerance – 333 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Spencer was a guest on the Sober Speak podcast, with a conversation about Steps 1, 2, and 3 in Al-Anon. Sober Speak has mostly an AA focus, but the host, John M does sometimes invite members of Al-Anon to share their experience, strength, and hope. We talked about how I suddenly felt my powerlessness one... The post Steps 1, 2 and 3 – 332 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Julie joins us to tell her story. She grew up with an alcoholic father and an “untreated Al-Anon” mother. As a child, from the age of 10, she thought it was her job to mediate between her parents, and especially to try to help “settle” the arguments they had. Now, she recognizes that it never... The post Choosing Love Over Fear One Day at a Time – Julie L – 331 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Why are boundaries important to me right now? How am I setting and keeping healthy boundaries, today? A couple of listeners shared their experience of boundaries. Spencer's discussion is guided by this outline. How Al-Anon Works, Chapter 11 Detachment, Love, and Forgiveness has a section titled Personal Boundaries. “… many of us find it difficult... The post Boundaries Today – 330 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Did the God language in the 12 steps put you off? How have you worked this program of recovery in that case? Spencer and 3 listeners contribute their experience of working the twelve steps of recovery, even though the God language was not “working” for us. We share the ways in which we were able... The post The God Word – 329 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

How do we find hope when it all seems hopeless? Eric and Spencer have a conversation about hope, inspired by these discussion points and questions. Hope definition a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. want something to happen or be the case. Often when we say “hope” we really mean... The post Hope means possibility – 328 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What do you fear? What tools do you use to let go of, move through, and live with fear? Barb joins me to talk about fear. We had scheduled this conversation before the Corona Virus pandemic was declared, but it seems so appropriate now. We roughly followed this outline. What fears did you have before... The post Fear – 327 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Are you a member of more than one recovery program? How do you balance them? How do they support each other? Listeners and members of more than one recovery program share their experience. We hear from members of Al-Anon Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Overeaters Anonymous (OA) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) Adult Children of Alcoholics... The post Dual Program Members – 326 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Are you “sheltering in place”? How are you able to participate in recovery when you can’t meet face to face with other members? Spencer and Marylou discuss how they are experiencing recovery during this time of isolation and “sheltering in place” during the COVID-19 pandemic. Our conversation was sparked by an email that Marylou sent... The post Recovery in a time of Isolation – 325 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

In a recent online meeting, the almost unanimous choice of topic was fear and anxiety. We were all feeling it in one way or another. We started with a reading from Courage to Change, January 10. It talks about “mental static” of worry, and then says “I'm learning to focus all my attention on this... The post Fear and Anxiety – 324 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Do you struggle with the God language in the 12 steps? Josh did. His inability to fully engage with the steps was probably a factor in his relapses. Josh talks with us about a couple of recovery programs based on Buddhist principles, centered on meditative practices. These programs are Recovery Dharma and Refuge Recovery. Our... The post Josh R – Recovery Dharma – 323 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Much of the information here is (at best) out of date. The authoritative source for online Al-Anon meetings is on the Al-Anon World Service website: Al-Anon electronic and phone meetings. The original blog post was created March 15, 2020, and has been updated sporadically since then. As we are moving into a time of social... The post Online meetings appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Although Deborah came from an alcoholic family, and married an alcoholic, she only came to Al-Anon when her son was having problems with alcohol and drugs. And only because a colleague told her of his experience with his son's problems. He didn't tell her what Al-Anon was about, he just said “go”. So she did.... The post Deborah C – Hands Off Pays Off – 322 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Trigger warning: Diana's story includes some violent and abusive episodes from her childhood. You can skip forward to about 21:00 to avoid those descriptions. Diana H had a turbulent childhood. Her mother suffered from mental illness. Her house was full of alcohol, drugs, and violence. We talk about how her work in recovery has helped... The post Diana H – Born Into Crazy – 321 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What does it mean to “Surrender to Win”? Have you had this experience? Barb and Spencer dig into these questions. How does this topic of “surrender to win” speak to you? A definition of surrender is “to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another” What have you given up completely? ... The post Surrender to Win – 320 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Sharing experience, strength, and hope in your voices. Thoughts on apologies and amends. A mother wants to help her adult son who drinks too much. A survivor muses on the possible benefits of trauma. What is this detachment thing, anyway? Learning to talk, trust, and feel when the family “training” was “don't talk, don't trust,... The post More voices – your sharing – 319 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Saturday morning, I awoke to fresh snow. I had a fairly hectic and noisy time going to the gym, getting ready for the day, etc. Then I stepped out into a lovely, hushed silence. I decided I needed more of that, and later went to a nature area for a walk in the woods. I... The post A Walk in the Woods on a Snowy Day — 318 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Today, I’m sharing with you a talk by Peggy G. I hope you’ll enjoy Peggy’s sense of humor as much as I did. Peggy talks about feeling rejected as a child and about getting married early after “finding love in the back seat of a Ford.” She felt she had a “hole in her gut”... The post Peggy G – Speaker – 317 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Men are a minority in Al-Anon. Is this a problem? An asset? What is your experience? Join Spencer and several guests, both men and women, as we share our experience. Some of the topics we address are these: What is your experience as a man in Al-Anon? What difficulties and challenges have you experienced? Did... The post Men in Al-Anon – 316 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

The only requirement for membership in Al-Anon is that there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. How many other groups are so inclusive? How does this help you? How is this a challenge for you? Today is MLK day, the celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday. Perhaps naturally, my... The post Belonging — 315 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What is integrity and what does it have to do with recovery? Definitions the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness the state of being whole and undivided “the root of integrity is about doing the right thing even when it’s not acknowledged by others, or convenient for you.” (Psychology Today... The post Integrity – 314 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Is your voice heard, even when others disagree? Why is it important that everyone has an opportunity to be heard? How do you practice listening in your life? Meetings? Family? Work? Concept 5 states “The rights of appeal and petition protect minorities and insure that they be heard.” Spencer and Eric share how this concept... The post Being Heard – 313 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

I'm pleased to share this recording of Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, speaking at the AA International Convention in Long Beach, CA, in 1960. The recording includes brief remarks by Lois Wilson, co-founder of Al-Anon; Ebby T, who introduced Bill to the Oxford groups; and Sister Ignatia, an early supporter of AA, who cared for... The post Bill W with Lois W, Ebby T, Sister Ignatius and Mort J — 312 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

What’s in your holiday toolkit? Do you dread spending holidays with family? What tools have you found to make the experience tolerable or even joyful? (Realistic) expectations. Recognize when you are feeling stressed (HALTS?) Escape plans. Literature. Locate and plan to attend meetings if you will be out of your usual area. Phone list. Arrange... The post Holiday Toolkit – 311 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

This episode is created by your voices, both written and recorded. Sam asks why some members shy away from service, while she finds it a vital part of her recovery. Penelope and Jessica found value in Episode 308, Program Tools. Natalie asks for some experience, strength, and hope, living with active alcoholism while maintaining a... The post Your voices — 310 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Every year around Thanksgiving, I give special attention to the things that I am grateful for. This is my list for 2019. This year I created an "A to Z" gratitude list. Most of these are gifts I got from this program of recovery. The post Gratitude 2019 – 309 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

The Al-Anon program provides so many tools. There are slogans and steps, and new ways of approaching life’s troubles. Which ones do you use comfortably? Are there any you wish you had used, but didn’t remember to pick them up? Marylou, Pat, and Kelly join me to talk about their favorite tools of the program. The post Our Program Tools – 308 appeared first on The Recovery Show.

Today, I am pleased to share with you a talk by Aaron J, speaking in 2012. I identified with his certainty that it was his “job” in life to take care of everyone around him. I share his frustration when those same people didn’t do what he knew was best for them. The post Aaron J — It’s not about me — 307 appeared first on The Recovery Show.