Episode 126: The 4 Keys To Surviving "Tough Conversation Season"
The Private School Leader Podcast
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Show Notes
Where I live, we get to experience all four seasons. Right now the first signs of spring are popping up all around me.
We have some very distinct seasons at our private schools:
- Back To School Season
- Countdown to Winter Break
- The 100 Days of May
We also have another season at our schools in late March and early April. It’s my least favorite season of the year. I refer to it as "Tough Conversation Season.”
This is usually the time of year when we have to have some difficult conversations. We may need to meet with a teacher to tell them that we will not be offering them a position in the fall. We may need to meet with a parent to tell them that their child needs to repeat Kindergarten.
Earlier in my career, I did not handle Tough Conversation Season very well. I would often let my fear, anxiety and insecurities keep me from making the best decision for the school or the best decision for the child. I want to help you learn from my mistakes.
On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to tell you The 4 Keys To Surviving "Tough Conversation Season"
I hope that you will listen to the podcast for your weekly dose of motivation, inspiration and PD. Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference!
Mark Minkus
Are any of these statements true about you?
- The "tyranny of the urgent" controls my day, and I start working on my important tasks when the school gets quiet.
- I feel discouraged, lonely, exhausted and stressed out. I'm not sure that my job is sustainable.
- My school invades every part of my professional and personal life.
- I want to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader.
- I feel called to do this work, but I am not sure how long I can keep doing it if nothing changes.
I have felt that way many times during my career. That’s why I created the PSL Pro Membership
PSL Pro is a membership community that helps Private School Leaders go from feeling stressed out, discouraged and lonely to feeling energized, fulfilled and supported.
You will have access to a thriving community of school leaders who actually "get it" and "get you"! We will go live every month for a Masterclass, a Success Path Coaching Session, two "We Get It" Roundtable Sessions and a live Q&A about anything and everything related to Private School Leadership.
The PSL Pro Success Path is a Step by Step Plan to get you from where you are to where you want to be as a leader. Different Levels: The Overwhelmed Drifter, The Intentional Architect, all the way to The Fulfilled Mentor. After you choose your level, you will be guided, step-by-step, through the content in THRIVE Academy. This content, along with my guidance and the support of other leaders, will take you from where you are all the way to being The Fulfilled Mentor!
Learn more about how you can join the PSL Pro community by going to theprivateschoolleader.com/membership
Is it just me or are the parents at our schools getting more demanding and more intense, more often? Dealing with parents is part of the job as we lead our private schools, but it can quickly lead to stress, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.
That’s why I created Parent Academy! Now you have a step by step framework that will help you go from feeling stressed and anxious to feeling confident and calm. Over the last 33 years, I have built successful relationships with thousands of parents and I have packaged that knowledge into an online course. Not only that, but after I teach you, I am going to teach your teachers these strategies as well! Parent Academy contains two, 45-minute webinars that are Teacher PD’s with a printable notebook, guided notes and discussion questions. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parentacademy to learn more!
What is your biggest problem right now? I want to hear more about your biggest problem and I want to help you solve it.
Whether your problem is feeling guilty that your family gets what’s left of you at the end of the day, relentless parents, difficult teachers, a lack of boundaries between work and school, feeling overwhelmed, Imposter Syndrome, enrollment or teacher morale, I can help.
I would love to hear more about your biggest problem and I would love to be your coach. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode126
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. • • I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So if you're listening to this in real time, • • • depending on the part of the country that you live in, • • • • it is transitioning from winter into spring. • • So mid March. • • • • • And you know, where I live, we have all four seasons. And I actually really like that. I like having all four seasons. I'm not a big fan of winter, but, um, you know, when winter is kind of winding down, the awesome thing is, is that you start to see the signs of spring. You know, you start to see the daffodils pop up and you know, it starts to get a little warmer and some of the trees start to bud. And so there's all different, um, there's the four seasons and I really like the fact that I have all four of them where I live. But I was thinking about how we also have different seasons in our private schools. And so for example, we have back to school season, you know, and I always tell people like the, the two weeks before the first day of school and the first two weeks of school is probably the busiest month of the year for private school leaders. • • So we have back to school season. We also have, you know, countdown, countdown to winter break season where you're just trying to keep your eye on the ball and not keep your eye on the calendar. Um, and then we have the hundred days of May, • um, where it's just that, • • you know, there's a concert every night, there's a ceremony, there's graduation, there's • • • um, sports and sports banquets. There's all kinds of things going on in our 100 days of May. • • • But my least favorite season • • in a school year is actually the one that we're in right now • • • because I've found that • • • • mid March to early April • • is often what I call tough conversation season. • • And so, for example, • • • • • • • most schools have, um, one year contracts for their teachers • or an offer letter that, you know, has to be offered every year around this time. • • And • • you know, these • • tough conversation season, this is the around the time for many schools where you're • • sitting down with that person and saying, hey, um, you know, we're not going to be having you return. We're not going to be offering you A contract. We're not going to be offering you a position here, um, this fall. • • Tough conversations. • • • • Um, it also might be that you decide you are going to keep that teacher, but you're going to put them on a performance improvement plan. So, you know, another tough conversation. And that's just the teachers. You know, this is also tough conversation season • for when you have to meet