Episode 122: How To Navigate Complex Emotions When You Get The Parent Survey Results
The Private School Leader Podcast
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Show Notes
You have probably heard the saying, “No two days the same". This is an accurate description of your job as a private school leader. I used to say to my family, “I go to school to see what’s going to happen”.
While our days are very unpredictable, I have found that some days during the school year are actually very predictable. For example:
- Best Day: The day of the 8th Grade vs. Faculty Basketball Game
- Most Rewarding Day: Graduation Day
- Most Discouraging Day: The day that I get the parent survey results……
I don’t know about you, but I ride a roller coaster of emotions when the parent survey results come out: anger, joy, disappointment, pride, embarrassment, confusion, Imposter Syndrome, happiness, sadness and more.
Receiving feedback is an important part of our jobs and it can help us grow as a school and grow as leaders. That said, parent feedback can be soul crushing when it does not align with how you think things are going at school.
On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast we are going to discuss How To Navigate Complex Emotions When You Get The Parent Survey Results.
Thank you for taking me along with you when you are walking the dog, driving to school or running errands. I appreciate you and what you are doing for the lucky kids and teachers at your school.
Thanks so much for listening and thanks for making a difference!
Mark Minkus
Is it just me or are the parents at our schools getting more demanding and more intense, more often? Dealing with parents is part of the job as we lead our private schools, but it can quickly lead to stress, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.
Is it just me or are the parents at our schools getting more demanding and more intense, more often? That’s why I created Parent Academy! Now you have a step by step framework that will help you go from feeling stressed and anxious to feeling confident and calm. Over the last 33 years, I have built successful relationships with thousands of parents and I have packaged that knowledge into an online course. Not only that, but after I teach you, I am going to teach your teachers these strategies as well! Parent Academy contains two, 45-minute webinars that are Teacher PD’s with a printable notebook, guided notes and discussion questions. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parentacademy to learn more!
What is your biggest problem right now? I want to hear more about your biggest problem and I want to help you solve it.
Whether your problem is feeling guilty that your family gets what’s left of you at the end of the day, relentless parents, difficult teachers, a lack of boundaries between work and school, feeling overwhelmed, Imposter Syndrome, enrollment or teacher morale, I can help.
I would love to hear more about your biggest problem and I would love to be your coach. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.
Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.
That can lead to you feeling tired, discouraged and stressed out. I’ve been there. That’s why I created THRIVE Academy just for you. THRIVE Academy is a digital course that will help you get out of survival mode and get back to feeling energized at school. To learn more, go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/thrive
I am excited to share with you a new resource and I want to give this to you as a FREE GIFT to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. It is called The 7 Secrets To Improving Teacher Morale. As private school leaders, we are always looking for ways to improve teacher morale at our schools, but it is hard to know where to start. Well, now you have a step by step plan and you can grab it at theprivateschoolleader.com/morale
I want to give you a FREE gift called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers. Sometimes we need some courage and confidence to deal with difficult teachers. What you need is a plan! This guide is a step by step plan that you can use to help one of your difficult teachers improve their performance and improve their attitude. Go to theprivateschoolleader.com/difficult to grab this free guide!
I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide
I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!
Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode122
Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!
I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!
I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.
George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. Grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/judo
TRANSCRIPT:
Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Menkis. • • • So I want to tell you about the most discouraging day of my school year • • • and over my career, especially over the last 10 or 12 years. I would say that it was pretty predictable as to which day of the year was going to be my most discouraging day. • • And I'll come back to that in a moment because, you know, my most stressful day, if we want to talk about that, you know, that kind of changes and it's situational and it usually involves a really upset parent. And then that parent, it's complex because • • • they're a teacher or they are a big donor or it's a board members kid. You know, that would be my most stressful day of the year. • • And then, well, what about my worst day of the year? Well, again, that's situational • • • • • because, • you know, it usually involves a tragedy or • • • just something, you know, terrible. The worst thing that happened that school year. And so that's unpredictable. What is predictable is my best day of the year, which is usually the day of the eighth grade versus faculty basketball game. • That is on a Friday afternoon and it concludes spirit week. • And you know, it's a lot of fun, a lot of school spirit, • • and if I had to say, my most rewarding day of the school year, that's easy. Our school, um, um, • • • • goes up to eighth grade. And so eighth grade graduation. And you get to see those kids • • • graduate. And you know, you had a front row seat for that transformation that took place. And for me, that's the most rewarding day. • • • But what about my most discouraging day? Why is that so predictable? • Well, my most discouraging day is the day that I get the results of the parent survey. • • • • • • And the reason for that is because, • • • • you know, you work so hard • • • only you know, the price that you pay • • • to be a private school leader. • • • And then, you know, you have to get feedback, but then you get that feedback • • and the numbers don't reflect • • • • what you think is the version of reality at your school. • • • • • And honestly, • • • • there were days when I would get the • • • • parent survey results and • • • I mean, at best • • I felt like I need to leave and go home • • or I don't think I'M coming in tomorrow. • • • • Um, um, • • you know, that's, that's at best, at worst, sometimes you just feel like, • • I'm not sure I'm cut out to do this. I'm not sure I want to do this anymore. • • • And it's so powerful. It's so discouraging, • • and it's so, • • • • • • it's just so big. The emotions are so big surrounding • • • • receiving the results of the parent survey. At least they have been for me • and