The Prancing Pony Podcast

Two orcs engage in a spirited debate about Gollum, while two other orcs engage in a spirited debate about… oh, who am I kidding? Alan and Matt never debate. Join us as we discover that orcs prefer tattling on their peers rather than just killing them, as we keep moving deeper into The Land of Shadow. A tracker orc fails to track two very nearby hobbits, a soldier orc fails to shoot Gollum, and Sam fails to remember all those dead orcs in the Tower. We speculate about how Sam might tell his own story, and talk about the Eye of Sauron. Also, Matt is too young to recognize a reference to The Who. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam insists on drinking first to protect Frodo, while Alan and Matt ruin any chance they have at a couple of bottled water sponsors. Join us for our discovery that Mordor is only mostly dead, as we continue our long and unpleasant way north in The Land of Shadow. We take a closer look at the geography of Mount Doom, while Frodo and Sam take a closer look at the extent of Sauron’s branding efforts. We linger on the highlight of Sam being given hope by the appearance of Eärendil, while no appearance of the famous mariner is complete without a brief visit from The Lord of the Mark himself. Also, don’t tell Oromë that Matt thinks he’s a diet Ulmo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Frodo and Sam get out of the predicament in the Tower only to have to head further into Mordor, as Alan and Matt get out of their QAN predicament only to have to… well, do this. Join us as Sam exaggerates the lengths of thorns while we begin our four-part walk through The Land of Shadow. Nazgûl cries just don’t hold the same terror anymore, Shagrat is not delivering water despite Sam’s professed interest, and we spend way too much time talking about the wind. Also, we laugh at the Rankin-Bass RotK Witch-king. Again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re known for our short and concise answers, says The Nerd of the Rings, as he joins The Man of the West just in time to answer listener questions on our 25th Questions After Nightfall! From Ainur bowling leagues to light bulb moments, from Farmer Maggot to our favorite head canon, our listeners keep us on our toes. Matt whiffs on a Firefly reference, and we agree that the Valar are less murdery than most pantheons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Frodo declines to acquiesce to Sam’s request to share the burden of the Ring… means ‘no’. Join Alan and Don as Sam becomes Frodo’s personal shopper in the worst clearance sale ever in our final episode on The Tower of Cirith Ungol. Sam forgives Frodo for his Ring-induced thievery allegation; we discuss the origin of orcs (again!); and the Watchers can’t stop Frodo and Sam. Also, The Lord of the Mark returns to speculate on Tolkien’s favorite Indiana Jones film. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the middle of his darkest moment, Sam sings; in the middle of this episode, Don and Alan sing. One of these two was a good decision. Join Alan and Don as Sam longs for Frodo, and refuses to say goodbye to the Stars in our third episode on The Tower of Cirith Ungol. Snaga loses a hand and rolls a natural 1; Sam finally finds his beloved Frodo; and Frodo is convinced the Quest is over. Also, Don offers questionable bear advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam finds a way past the Watchers to rescue Frodo, as Don finds a way past Alan’s bad jokes to rescue the episode. Join Alan and Don as Sam continues his search for Frodo in a place absolutely filled with Orcs in our second episode on The Tower of Cirith Ungol. Sam is relieved to find nearly all of the Orcs are dead; we discuss the nature and origin of those creepy Watchers; and Shagrat ends Gorbag’s singing career. Also, Snaga will be presenting a TED Talk on cooperation in the C-suite. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam hesitantly takes what he sees as an irrevocable step down into Mordor; Don Marshall hesitantly agrees to do one more chapter with The Man of the West. Jon Alan and Don as Sam forgets his peril and bravely ventures into Mordor to rescue Frodo as we begin Book Six with The Tower of Cirith Ungol. Sam gets his first glimpse at Mount Doom; resists the temptation to become Samwise the Strong, Hero of the Age; and finally descends into Mordor. Finally, get out your shocked face as Don makes Alan feel old. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Frodo has been a prisoner of the Orcs for more than a year in podcast time, but what’s another episode between friends? Before Alan and Don Marshall start our read through of Book VI of The Lord of the Rings, we take a look back at the previous books as we discuss the themes and events of the story so far - maybe with a special eye towards Frodo and Sam, who we’ll spend a great deal of time with during the first half of this season. We discuss the composition of Book VI, thankful that Bingo is no longer Frodo’s name-oh. Also, what would Tolkien do with a Google Drive? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Fëanor piñata takes some more hits as The Man of the West welcomes Don Marshall, the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, to the Prancing Pony Podcast just in time to answer some really obscure questions! From Narya’s chain-of-custody to Goldberry growing tired of trochaic tetrameter, our listeners do their best to trip us up. Alan gets choked up over a Húrin passage - surprise - and we agree that this Tolkien fellow is pretty good at writing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join both The Man of the West and the Lord of the Mark as they celebrate the release of their new book by recording a LIVE episode at The Tolkien Society’s 50th Oxonmoot in Oxford! Guests include Kristine Larsen, John Rateliff, Brian Sibley… and 135 of our closest friends!Recommended Reading: include Letters from FC, Fall of Númenor, and The History of the Hobbit, along with our own book. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sauron smells a trap, and sends his lieutenant to open the door and see who’s there; Matt smells a sidebar, and sends Alan to find out more. Join us as the Mouth of Sauron says too much, but doesn’t lose his head, as we conclude The Black Gate Opens — and Season 7 of the PPP! We meet perhaps the scariest steed ever to walk the earth, discuss the absurdity of killing ambassadors, and decide we know how about how old the Mouth of Sauron is. Matt wants to read the edited Letters of Alan and Shawn; Alan just wants to see a bear on a hell-steed; both of us want to see White Horse and Silver Swan in concert. Finally, we realize just what a terrible cliffhanger Tolkien can write. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some of Aragorn’s followers are told how they might “keep what honor you may”; The Nerd of the Rings returns to the Common Room to keep what honor HE may. Join Matt and Alan as Aragorn heads out to knock on the door of the scariest house on the block as we begin The Black Gate Opens. Merry stays behind to heal as Pippin goes with Beregond to follow Aragorn to almost-certain doom; the army wisely avoids Minas Morgul; and Aragorn’s mercy rules the fate of many. Finally, The Lord of the Mark returns as we visit with Tom Hillman about his new book, and Alan confuses guerrillas with gorillas. Maybe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gimli says he’s near the end of their tale; Alan and Shaun aren’t convinced. Join us as we discuss how hard it is to look at your watch when you’re in battle, as we complete The Last Monolog… er, Debate. The Lords of the West conclude they have only a choice of evils; long-term weather forecasting isn’t a thing in Middle-earth; and counting to 7,000 seems pointless. Shaun explains how palantíri are like social media algorithms, while The Lord of the Mark returns to explain why the guy in the van is smoking a cigarette and eating cheese. Finally, not all unsheathed swords are a euphemism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Legolas and Gimli reunite with Merry and Pippin, telling them stories about the last few days. Shaun Gunner (not Shawn) reunites with Alan, telling him how much he hates seagulls. Join us as we learn just how wrong everybody’s been about beards as we begin The Last Debate. Legolas and Gimli play SimCity; we read the tragic story of Nimrodel and Amroth; and discover just how differently we feel about seagulls than Legolas. We argue about who “the eldest of our race” is (hint: it’s not Alan after all), and discuss whether men are more like cockroaches or rats. Finally, a tepid pile of code appears in the mailbag. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Alan and Sara, as we send Sara back to more civilized realms by joining some of our listeners in the Common Room for our latest Q&A episode. We rely on our shelves and our brains - because the latter alone would make for a short episode - as we answer questions about Amazon’s plans for a LotR MMO, why Legolas was sent with the Company when they had a perfectly good Glorfindel available, and why Gil-galad didn’t just phone home for some help. We work out a collective noun for a group of balrogs (and a group of Fëanors), examine Sara’s head canon - though not too closely - and wonder just how badly Aragorn beat up Gollum. Finally, Alan is promoted to head coach of Thorin & Co’s basketball team and needs to make a roster, while Sara tries to make the most of Ancient Sumerian. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hobbits use light words and fear to say too much; we use light words and clearly don’t fear saying too much. Join Alan and Sara, and the many fragrances of athelas, as we conclude our visit to The Houses of Healing. Éowyn gets a delivery of brand-new air, while Merry gets a bunch of bees; Aragorn reveals his sarcastic humor, prompting Merry to get a little philosophical; Imrahil seems to have been forgotten. Also: Sara offers apologies to beige-lovers, compares Aragorn to cake, and sings. Finally, a piece of advice: don’t fight your nature. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It turns out Aragorn has a LOT of names; it’s good that none of them are Herbert or Alan and Sara would argue about the leading ‘h’ for (h)ours. Join us as Gandalf threatens to show Ioreth the meaning of haste in the second of three episodes on The Houses of Healing. Imrahil wonders why Aragorn has such a vulgar name, but it’s just one of a dozen; Ioreth’s boss is just as verbose as she is, but with a sprinkle of mansplaining; and we get the first of three powerful healing scenes as Faramir wakes up to meet his new boss. Also: Gandalf runs out of spoons, Sara rolls her eyes, and Christopher Tolkien makes jokes about his father’s handwriting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry and Pippin meet again after Merry’s agelong ascent; Alan and Dr. Sara Brown meet again after Alan climbs some stairs - nowhere near as dramatic. Join us as everyone’s favorite old woman (not named Dennis) talks about plants as we begin our visit to The Houses of Healing. Merry wonders exactly where Pippin plans to take him; Théoden lies in state; and Éowyn is only mostly dead. We learn that Sara was given books to keep her quiet, and that she digresses like a pro. Finally, Aragorn really knows how to make an entrance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and KnewBetta roll out the red carpet — and put away the Hawaiian shirts — for Brian Sibley’s return to the Common Room! A prolific and talented writer, Brian is the force behind some of the most beloved adaptations of Tolkien’s work, including the BBC radio adaptations of The Lord of the Rings and Tales from the Perilous Realm, but we’re here to talk with him today about his Tolkien Society-award winning book, The Fall of Númenor. Bronze dragons, dancing bears, book destruction, and Pauline Baynes’ owls all make an appearance, along with Alan’s alleged sartorial brilliance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve heard of ‘quiet quitting’, right? Well, Denethor clearly wants nothing to do with such a trend. Join Alan and KnewBetta as the steward resigns his position quite loudly indeed, in the second of two episodes on The Pyre of Denethor. Gandalf wants to rule the world; Denethor and logic have parted ways; and, let’s be honest, Pippin would make a terrible spy. We learn a few things about KnewBetta: he got in trouble on purpose to read Tolkien, questions Uinen’s fidelity, and just might be the Witch-king (or wishes he was). We speculate on the what-if of Denethor’s survival, and compare Denethor to Usain Bolt. Finally, one more serious content warning as suicide is discussed at length in this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Authority is given to you, listener of The Prancing Pony Podcast, to order the hour of your listening! Join Alan and KnewBettaDoBetta as Beregond saves the day, and Faramir, in our first episode on The Pyre of Denethor. Pippin explains — no, there is too much — Pippin sums up the madness of Denethor, leaving Gandalf with an impossible decision; Imrahil is that guy; and Denethor takes his ball and goes home. The Tolkien Professor joins us to discuss a book 18 years in the making, and Alan invites KnewBetta back even after their Gandalf v. The Witch-king debate. On a serious note, this episode comes with a content warning: suicide is discussed at length. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Éomer forms a final shield-wall and thinks of songs that will never be sung; Alan and Shawn offer to gladly butcher, uh, sing those songs. Join us as the appearance of black sails thrills the forces of Sauron right up until it doesn’t, on the last of our episodes on The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. We cry at the sudden joyous turn, discuss Rohirric aphorisms, and admire Tolkien’s rolled ‘R’s. We spend way too long on a sidebar about the Elendilmir and say goodbye to Shawn again. Finally, we decide to call the legal specialists at 1-800-OATHS4U to negotiate our way out of Middle-earth oaths. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The king is dead, long live the king! Meet was Théoden’s ending; will meat be Alan and Shawn’s ending? Join us as Éomer receives an unexpected promotion in our second episode on The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. We learn about Merry’s blade, Éomer’s fey mood, and Imrahil’s shiny armor, while we speculate if Gandalf might’ve managed a modicum of mighty Maia medical magic. We cry in our bier, discuss elephant pedicures, and talk about dream-team Tolkien adaptations. Finally, Variag revenge is a dish best served cold in Pelennor Trek II: The Wrath of Khand. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Witch-king arrives on the battlefield; Alan and Shawn also arrive, presumably with less stink. Join us as we finally arrive at the moment that we’ve been waiting for for more than seven years as we begin The Battle of the Pelennor Fields! Merry vomits from terror, the Witch-king mansplains the prophecy to Éowyn, and she stabs him in his invisible face. What do meat that comes in a drum, Manwë’s birthday cake, and Wormtongue in a sequined teddy have in common? We don’t know either. Thankfully, we’re also joined once again by Dr. Bret Deveraux who helps us get a handle on the hostility’s happenings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It always comes back to Rush, at least when The Lord of the Mark returns! Join Alan, and a few of our listeners, as we celebrate Shawn’s return to the common-room with our latest Q&A episode, this time with more Star Trek than Shawn knows what to do with. We answer questions about scary book scenes, Melkor’s role in the Music, and the real meaning of ‘Nauglamir’. We speculate about Beren’s presence at the Dagor Bragollach, and what-if our way into a world without Eärendil, much to Shawn’s dismay. Also, we crew our Federation starship with Elves, and agree that Eärendil is the Ford Prefect of the legendarium. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now is the hour come… for us to read one of our favorite passages in all of The Lord of the Rings! Need brooks no delay, so join Alan and Marcel now as the time has come for Théoden and Rohan to ride to the rescue of Minas Tirith in the second half of The Ride of the Rohirrim! The wind is changing for the better, Théoden gives the best pre-game speech, and we talk about the ‘noble savage’ trope as best we can. Alan interviews Marcel, who’s been talking Tolkien on the internet for a very long time indeed. And Alan gamely tries to read part of the Völuspá - in Old Norse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry’s obsession with luggage continues, as Alan and Marcel discuss whether he should be put in the overhead compartment or checked at the counter. Join us as we are introduced to one of the more unique characters in Middle-earth in today’s episode, as we begin The Ride of the Rohirrim! Merry misses Pippin and Dernhelm’s no help, Éomer asks a stupid question, and Théoden gets some local directions. The Lord of the Mark returns for another Philology Faire, as Saeros is asked the Middle-earth equivalent of “You mad, bro?” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pack your bags and renew your passports as you join us for the PPP’s eighth annual celebration of Tolkien Reading Day, observed every March 25 in honor of the destruction of the Ring and the fall of Barad-dûr. This year’s theme, as chosen by the Tolkien Society, is Travel and Adventure! Alan and his new co-host Marcel, the Tolkienist, go through some of their favorite Tolkien passages to highlight the theme, from the Great Elven Road Trip to the Fellowship’s Final Journey. Plus, a correction about Dol Goldur and #ambitiousorc starts trending. Also, there may be singing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The forces of Mordor begin their assault on the city of Minas Tirith, as Alan and Matt begin their assault on your patience. Join us as The Heathen Kings of Old open for us in today’s episode, and we finish The Siege of Gondor! Denethor seeks an end to his despair, Pippin seeks Gandalf’s help, and Grond seeks a door to smash. We are joined one more time by Bret Devereaux, who reminds us that war elephants are “hmmmmm… yikes.” We review The Fall of Númenor, say farewell to the Nerd of the Rings, and bring you a very special treat from Jordan’s ‘A Long-Expected Soundscape’. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imrahil and Gandalf save the day, along with Faramir’s body; who will ride out to save Alan and Matt? Join us as we follow Gandalf’s Magic Flashlight™, as we near the end of The Siege of Gondor! Gandalf is unveiled, Imrahil has words for Denethor, the Witch-king’s forces prepare, and Denethor abdicates his role. Once again, we are joined by our favorite pedant and military historian, Bret Deveraux, who teaches us all we could ever want to know about siege warfare (which is a lot). Finally, we spend far too much time working out what Denethor saw in the palantír, and what Barad-dûr’s HR department is like. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Faramir goes off to earn his father’s grudging admiration, while Alan and Matt continue to work to earn yours. Join us, and all the captains, as we continue The Siege of Gondor! Read along as Pippin pesters patiently, Denethor dissuades diligently, and Faramir flies fatefully. Also, we are joined by special guest Dr. Bret Deveraux, a military historian and author of A Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry, who shines Gandalf’s magic flashlight on our lack of knowledge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Denethor submits his application for Father of the Year, making Alan and Matt feel great about their parenting skills in the process. Join us as we celebrate the seventh anniversary of The Prancing Pony Podcast, and Matt’s first digression as co-host, as we continue The Siege of Gondor! Faramir speaks of Frodo’s peril, Gandalf freaks out a little bit, and we learn that Denethor wasn’t always this way. Alan interviews the Nerd of the Rings - conveniently, since he’s already here - and we don’t talk about Nazgûl no, no. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pippin is asked to sing by the Steward of Gondor; Alan and his new co-host, Matt from The Nerd of the Rings are begged not to sing by everyone else. Join us as we commiserate with Pippin over the lack of second breakfast, as we begin The Siege of Gondor! Pippin gets to wear silver and black without having to play for the Las Vegas Raiders, Beregond explains the darkening skies, and we talk about pterodactyls - thrilling 8-year old boys everywhere. The Lord of the Mark returns for a Philology Faire once again, while Matt and Alan agree with a listener that Fëanor is still a jerk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and James welcome John Garth in his return to the Common Room here at The Prancing Pony Podcast! We talk about everything in this one: his landmark work Tolkien and the Great War, his essay in The Great Tales Never End, his talk at the J.R.R. Tolkien: The Art of the Manuscript exhibition, his thoughts on The Fall of Númenor, and more. Bonus bits: A lion and unicorn provide convincing proof, John stops James from snoring, Tolkien falls down the stairs, and the expert misspells a headline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry is given his pink slip, but refuses to pack up his desk and leave: a security guard by the name of Dernhelm will escort him out. Join Alan and James as we marshal the riders — and James’ humble singing talents — for the concluding episode on The Muster of Rohan! We speculate about the extent of Éowyn’s secret plans, welcome the Professor for a special reading, and point out another of Tolkien’s wonderful spoilers. Alan talks to James about his classes on The History of Middle-earth, and we ever so slightly bash the French. Again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Red Arrow arrives: do we turn right after coming to a complete stop, or wait? Join Alan and James as we continue The Muster of Rohan (ignoring the Mayonnaise of Rohan, as it’s been left out too long). Éowyn brings news of Aragorn, Théoden buries the lede, and Alan likes old drafts. We take a close look at This Week in Tolkien History, and discover that the folk of Harrowdale become extreme introverts when the grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry’s not big enough to ride one of the Rohirrim’s steeds, while Alan and his co-host, James Tauber, aren’t exactly keen to try. Join us as we ride into Harrowdale with Théoden to find a host of men - and one determined woman - ready to ride off to war as we start the Muster of Rohan! Merry recognizes some words in slow sonorous speech, Théoden dismisses his nephew’s advice, and we notice some old statues on the side of the road. The Lord of the Mark returns for a Philology Faire on those old statues, and James and Alan talk about the other condiments of Rohan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Alan and Shawn and an all-star panel of guests in an episode recorded live at PPP Moot 2022! Matt from Nerd of the Rings, Luke Shelton from The Tolkien Experience Podcast, and Corey Olsen ,the Tolkien Professor, all join our hosts on stage to talk about their favorite moments from the legendarium that reflect perseverance, boldness, and courage in the face of impossible odds and waning strength. Or, as we finally decided to call it, “incredible stubbornness”. ‘What-if’ scenarios, Viking invasions, and a mithranium sighting — all in this very special live episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Alan and Don, as we send Don back (for now, at any rate) to TikTok, where they apparently need their Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy. But before Luke leaves Vader in charge, it’s time to welcome some of our listeners to join us in the common-room for our latest Q&A episode, now with less perishing! We answer questions about fading in Valinor, the Doors of Night, and Malbeth’s first prophecy. We discover that one need not boggle about certain things, and decide that - for the most part - the Vanyar don’t have to worry about getting stepped on. Finally, Alan makes a grievous error in agreeing to let Don take him clothes shopping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They say bad company corrupts good character; we’ll leave it to you to decide whether the title refers to the Dead Men of Dunharrow, or your hosts, Alan and Don, as we finish our journey through the Paths of the Dead! We talk about Tolkien’s ability to write genuinely terrifying moments, Alan wonders why the Grey Company didn’t bring more torches, and Gimli thinks about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens — anything to get him through this dark place. Alan let’s Don try his hand at writing an intro sequence, and, finally, the King of the Dead leaves you with this chilling challenge… to find a way out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan has walked this podcast land ere Don was born to grace it — just getting the old jokes out of the way, folks. Join Alan and Don as we listen in on a difficult conversation: Aragorn breaks hard news to Éowyn; Éowyn debates and argues, but eventually breaks down in tears; finally, Éowyn breaks with tradition in her forms of address. Alan chats with Don about TikTok and possibilities for the PPP, and we take a moment to compare Éowyn with a famous Valkyrie. Finally, we answer a fun question about adaptations! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So much alike are Elladan and Elrohir that few could tell them apart; not so with Alan and his co-host, Don Marshall! Join us as Aragorn breaks hard news to Théoden, has a moment of foresight about Éomer, and bids farewell to Merry, who misses Pippin’s unquenchable cheerfulness. The Lord of the Mark returns to bring us a Philology Faire (which might also mean a random Pooh sighting), and we take a close look at Malbeth the Seer. Finally, we learn what a rascal of a rebel dwarf is worth in trade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here come the jesters, one, two… well, two. Alan is joined by Don Marshall, The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy from TikTok, as we join Aragorn and his friends in Rohan. An hour long prepared approaches, we meet 30 guys that look a lot like Aragorn, and definitely get the message that the days are short. We offer our intro segment to The Tolkien Professor to talk about a book, while Merry offers his sword and service to Théoden. Finally, Alan yada-yada-yadas the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and Shaun finish their time in Minas Tirith waiting for Bergil to decide whether to take Pippin’s lunch money. Hard, bold, and wicked, Pippin can’t choose between ‘Prince of the Halflings’ and ‘Devil of a Hobbit’; Minas Tirith orders its troops from a catalog, and we offer up a sidebar on the Thain of the Shire. We take some time to see what’s going on with the rest of the Fellowship, and spend a bit of time on WW2 blackouts. Finally, Shaun and Alan agree on something: 29 isn’t really old. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and Shaun continue their extended visit to Minas Tirith, spending most of their time with a fellow named Beregond. Pippin asks good questions, the man of Gondor gives good answers, and we give big sidebars on the history of Osgiliath and the origin story of the Corsairs of Umbar. A very special guest (to Alan, at any rate) brings back Questions Before Bedtime, and we debate Aragorn’s ability to disguise himself. Finally, we find out what Pippin and the Black Knight have in common. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shaun Gunner of The Tolkien Society begins his service to the PPP, just as Pippin begins his service to Denethor in what is clearly an unacceptable analogy. Gandalf reminds the Steward what it means to really be a steward, Pippin seeks a little validation for his choice, and we meet a valiant man of Gondor. The Lord of the Mark returns for a tasty, and hilariously inappropriate, Philology Faire, and Pippin enjoys a picnic with a view. Finally, Alan agrees to stop booing the Norman Invasion — eventually. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and Corey tread carefully as they walk with Pippin and Gandalf into the Hall of Kings to meet the Steward. We watch as Denethor plays a rhetorical game with Gandalf, weep as we remember Boromir, and smile as Pippin shocks both old men by offering his sword to the grumpier of the two. More time is spent on the palantíri, and we say farewell to The Tolkien Professor. Finally, we discuss how “or the world end” is either an unnecessary redundancy, or a great addition to wedding vows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and Corey continue their journey towards Minas Tirith, riding with Gandalf and Pippin on the wings of the storm. We study the architecture of the White City, do maths, and begin the inevitable comparisons between Denethor and Théoden - even before we meet the Steward of Gondor. The Lord of the Mark makes the first of his guest appearances - and there was much rejoicing, and questionable jokes. Finally, what does the Tower of Ecthelion have in common with the Swamp Castle? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alan and Corey introduce Book Five, and with no time to wallow in the mire, journey with Gandalf and Pippin towards Minas Tirith, as the beacons try to set the night on fire. Pippin is scared of the moon, the beacon fires, and the dragons - especially the dragons. It turns out Strong Bad might just be a hobbit. Oh, and Alan manages to leave Corey speechless, so there’s a reason to come back. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices