The More Sibyl Podcast

Here’s introducing my friend, Ada – one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met, who served in the US military. We began her story from growing up in Nigeria, moving to the US, being drafted into the army, getting married, surviving an eventful divorce, raising multicultural kids, and life as a single mom. We explored divorce in a cultural context (stigma, shame, losing friends, etc.) and what we can do to support divorcees around us (and it is not by choosing sides or totally avoiding them like a plague). We also talked about PTSD, mental health, and ways to self-care - post-divorce. Outro-ish Song: *Don’t Let Us Get Sick* by Pat Guadagno; the original song was by Warren Zevon Fun fact about Ada: She backpacked across Europe. PS: TO ALL THE VETERANS LIKE ADA, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. TL; DL: How to Thrive after a Divorce: Choose your battles Stay alive Do not rush into any kind of relationship (except with Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream and chocolates, of course, :-D) Take your time to open up Be vulnerable but not enough to allow reopening of old, healed wounds Don’t waste yesterday’s tears on today You need to draw from others but they may not be ready nor willing to give you what you need Move to a new city (if practicable) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Nigeria: A $hithole Country?¿! Nah, it’s not but how else was I supposed to get your attention, ey?! Hehe. It’s no news that Mo! is back from Nigeria. In this episode, I answered several questions that were sent in from my listeners and friends regarding my just-concluded trip to Nigeria. We talked about everything ranging from food, social issues, traffic, politics, music, getting detained by the cops, why I won’t be moving back home just yet, getting high (on not what you think), how I evaded prying questions from my well-meaning countrymen and countrywomen, what I loved and disliked about my trip, and so much more. Thank you to every one of you who sent in the questions; you made this episode rock! Outro-ish song: Ire by Adekunle Gold. This song has been my current earworm. It takes me faster back home than a one-way first-class ticket. PS: This is a long episode, but I think you will love the dynamic between Olabimpe and me. PPS: My friends call me Tolani too (Olabimpe called me this all through the episode); it’s from my full name Mo-Tolani. PPPS: As a thank-you favor to Olabimpe, I am asking this for her. Does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who knows Lynxxx – the Nigerian rapper/singer? She would love to get his attention as she’s one of his biggest fans. #Askingforafriend TL; DL: Food I liked: Native rice and fish 😊 Foods I could not eat: Street roasted plantains (boli) ☹ On environmental pollution in Lagos: “Let’s forget about saving the whales and the trees. We need to start saving ourselves.” The highlight of going back home: I was not Black anymore but your average Nigerian (Yoruba) girl. The best thing about Nigeria: Nigerians - the love, the intentionality, the warmth, no Dutch pay. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Last week, I took you on a trip to India with an interview with Dr. Shah. I decided to stay longer in India to bring you this week’s episode from another Indian. Losing one parent is hard enough but imagine losing both of your parents, and in addition to this monumental grief, having to cope with the guilt of being thousands of miles away from home when this happens. In this episode, I speak to Som Ghosh – a Tabla-playing Indian living in America on grief observed. We talked about how grief is handled by Hindus and how certain burial rites performed by Hindus might make coping with grief better, and how he has been coping with losing both parents. I also talked about a personal grief and how I was able to (and still) cope with this. We begin his story from why he decided to leave his job at Pfizer and head on to pursue a PhD in Health Economics and Outcomes Research (HEOR) and tips for those considering going back to school after working for a while. How to cope with grief, as surmised by Som and me (in no particular order): Let grief run its course. Take time to mourn the loss. Cry if you must. Label the emotions as they come, anger, sadness, pain, anguish. Remember that emotions are like messengers, we do not shoot them. Listen to the gifts they bear and afterwards, send them on their journey in a nice way, knowing fully well that they might come back again. Find someone you can trust to talk to about your grief. And if you cannot find someone, just like Tennessee Williams suggested, depend on the kindness of strangers who are usually obliagted to listen to you. Seek grief counseling or therapy. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

There are things you just cannot do in life. You cannot use your pen until the last drop of ink is out, you cannot teach your cat tricks or take it to obedience school, and you cannot go home again. ‘Home,’ the four-letter word that means different things to every one of us. This week’s episode will be about my going back home after such a long time (seven years, specifically). The thought of visiting Nigeria after such a long time has left with me a lot of emotions – nervousness and a frisson of excitement to name a few. To do justice to this issue, I had reached out to a couple of my friends to send me questions they either had regarding my visiting home after such a long time or questions I should be prepared to answer from my fine countrymen and women. The latter is of paramount importance as Nigerians are generally known for being too intrusive, or as I like to put it intentionally inquisitive. Upon my return, there will be another post-evaluation to see how well my expectations were managed or not. P.S: Can you ever really go back home, especially if you have become one of those neither-here-nor-there people? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

For this week’s episode, I talked to one of my favorite Indians and wonderful colleague - Dr. Sanket Shah, a medical doctor currently doing his PhD in Health Economics and Outcomes Research (HEOR) (a rarity for most MDs pursuing advanced degrees in the US) at my alma mater – The University of Texas at Austin. We talked about and contrasted medical practice, culture, and education in India and the US. On graduate school in the US: imposter/impostor syndrome, expectational pressure, how not to quit, and using fear as a motivational tool. We also provided arguments for why foreign international students need to build positive social support systems to improve mental health, why I think Indians are different from Nigerians in certain aspects, and how both cultures can learn from each other. It was also my first time introducing the concept of cultural curiosity – where I ask my guests to ask me anything they are curious about regarding Nigeria. Fun fact: Dr. Shah is still reeling from the shock of having dollar bills rained on him at a Nigerian colleague’s wedding dance presentation we all did in 2016. He wanted to know more about what ‘making it rain’ was all about. S/O to Chisom Chimah who was the bride at the said-wedding. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Why should we care or be passionate about Nigerian youths? We, the Nigerian youths, have been making headline news lately, and not in a flattering way. This is no surprise given that it takes more guts than glory to live in a country where surviving in itself should be listed as a skill on one’s CV.* In this week’s episode, I interview a friend who’s just as passionate (if not even more) about Nigerian youths. We met at a mutual friend’s bridal shower two years ago. We talked about the challenges of being Nigerian and young and provide circumstantial solutions to moving our great nation forward with a special focus on this special demographic. TL;DR: Nigerian youths might be ill-equipped but are certainly not lazy. *Stolen and modified (with permission, of course) from Caroline Adeola Akinlotan’s Facebook status --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

$50 can go a long way, we know. But how long of a way can it go if you moved to the US with all of that in your pocket? In this week’s episode, I will be sharing Erika’s story which began with her Japanese father’s dream to move to the US. She is also the brains behind The More Sibyl Podcast logo and branding; see, Erika is super-talented that way :-D. We also talk about cultural patience and why we need more of this in the charged climate we now currently live in. P.S: By Jove! Erika was right, quokkas are quite the cat's whiskers. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Returning to the Motherland - An African-American's Perspective - Part 2 In this concluding episode, we talked about Nollywood, Mr. James' DNA analysis, and how African-Americans can reconnect to the Motherland. PS: Turned out Bill is 7% Nigerian! Wait, what? Y'all know that there's nothing like being 7% Nigerian; you are either Nigerian or not, using the one drop rule of course. Along that line, Dear Nigerians and Middle Earthers, it is my utmost pleasure to reintroduce and welcome back one of our very own, Mr. Bàbáwálé (/Baba wahlay/ meaning father has come home) Bill James to the Motherland. We have accepted him and can't wait for him to really come home, whenever he sure chooses to. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Returning to the Motherland - An African-American's Perspective - Part 1 In this episode, I am joined by Mr. William 'Bill' James; a lifelong resident of Oklahoma City born in 1945. He is also a Veteran (served in the US Army from 1968 to 1970) and a Distinguished Toastmasters. He also happens to be a member of my OKC Toastmasters Club. In this episode, we talked about the results of his DNA ancestry and the relationship between Africans and African Americans. This is Part 1. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Bonus episode with Bola: How to learn a new language and some more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Just Between Africans and African Americans - An African's Perspective - Part 2 We bring our talk to a conclusion by exploring what the future could look like for Africans and African Americans. We provided calls to action to both sides to aid in fostering a better connection and a more connected future together. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Just Between Africans and African Americans - An African's Perspective - Part 1 The relationship between Africans and African Americans has been historically fraught, due to several factors such as misconceptions, media portrayals of stereotypes of both sides, and carryover (negative) sentiments. As a result, these stereotypes are patronizing and ultimately damaging. In this episode, I sit down with an old friend who has a lot to say on this issue. It all started with a Facebook post she put up sometime in January of this year (see below). This is Part 1. Bola At: Somehow I have managed to enrage a small community of African Americans, all due to a structureless, baseless notion that Africans hate African Americans(Not true). Who comes up with all these misconceptions anyway?? It is quite sad to accept the misguidance and the reverse-engineered mentality some have. Why the sensitivity and division? Africans have a rigid culture worn like a badge of honor. Failing to embrace or assimilate to a certain culture isn't necessarily hate, and while most African elders disapprove of certain western behaviors, most of us ( younger generation)still try to assimilate and get smacked for it (😂😂). To the African, respect, and honor go hand in hand. Everything you do in this world is reflective of your household; therefore you are expected to BEHAVE ( which some translated as trying to be "white" I detest that statement so much). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

In this concluding episode of my interview with Dr. Tom, we provided solutions towards addressing the brain drain problem. For the developing countries like Nigeria, we need more policies with strong nationalistic basis. Beyond just increasing salaries, which can result in inflation, we need to make Nigeria a country worth fighting for. Implementation of policies with an all-hands-on-deck approach and though counterintuitive, encouraging more brain-drain but with the South Koreanesque twist. This is Part 2 and the conclusion of the talk. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

According to the WHO, migration of health workers or ‘brain drain’ is defined as the movement of health personnel in search of the better standard of living and life quality, higher salaries, access to advanced technology and more stable political conditions in different places worldwide. A report recently released in Nigeria showed that eight out of 10 medical doctors representing 88% of medical doctors in Nigeria are currently seeking job opportunities abroad. The survey, which was conducted by NOI Polls, in collaboration with Nigeria Health Watch, revealed that Nigeria has about 75,000 doctors are registered with the Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria (MDCN), with only about 35,000 within the nation’s shores. In this episode, I sit down with one of these medical doctors who is currently doing his residency here in the US. We discussed brain drain within the Nigerian context and offer some solutions towards addressing the problem. This is Part 1. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Fiona is a Nigerian-American pharmacist who emigrated to the US from Nigeria when she was 12. In this episode, we talk about spicy food, culture shock, adjusting to the US educational system, and so much more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support

Nigerian-born, US-educated, Korean-speaking, Struggling intellectual. Mo's unique perspective is derived from her experience growing up in Nigeria to now living the US, learning Korean, and enriched by the adventures her travels have brought on. Join Mo every week to get More Sibyl. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mosibyl/support