
The Membership Freedom Podcast
1,074 episodes — Page 3 of 22

What's In A Name(dropper)
If you enjoy the Total Life Freedom Podcast and would like to buy Vincent a coffee, go here to support the show!

Value The Teachers

The Power Of Saying 'I Decided'

Should You Negotiate or Collaborate?
Check out What Was That Like, the podcast from Scott Johnson!

Mastering The Stand Off

Embracing Innovation and Entrepreneurship

The Paradox Of Consistency

How To Handle Unjust Criticism

The Leadership Styles Of Abraham Lincoln

Mr. Irrelevant

Your Thoughts On Financial Freedom
As mentioned in todays episode, here is the information for Knighton Runs, Chris Knightons' business that helps runners run faster marathons!

What Does Financial Freedom Mean To You?

A Lesson In Raising Great Children

You Can't Preserve What You Don't Protect

The Problem With Life

Let's Be Open And Vulnerable

S6 Ep 7Overcoming Adrenal Fatigue
I am no doctor and I don't play one on T.V. I do have a very sloppy signature that has gotten people to ask if I was a doctor, though. So what I'll bring today, as we wrap up this topic of Entrepreneurial Health, is based on the help I received, the research I did and the results that came from it. I don't want you to ever suffer from adrenal fatigue. It was the only time in my life that I felt like I was truly dying. Often, being faced with a desperate situation is the catalyst to make the hard changes. The changes that I made were not ones that I was interested in, or inspired to do when things were good. It was only when the pain was so great that I reluctantly made big changes. So what did I do to turn my adrenal fatigue around and create what became a much more balanced, healthy and calmer life? 1- Eliminate added sugar and bread from my diet. Doing this sent many of my friends into a tizzy. The phrase, "I could never do that" was uttered more than I could count. You would if you felt like you were dying, I responded. I was challenged by my nutritionist to cut out all added sugar- meaning the only sugar I would consume would come from fruit- and to also cut out any bread from my diet. Do you know how hard it is for an Italian to not eat bread? And one with a giant sweet tooth? I could eat ice cream after breakfast, lunch and dinner and never get bored with it. But I need to cut them both out- cold turkey? Cold turkey without the stuffing, since there will be no bread. I was asked to eliminate it for two weeks to see how it went. She then moved the goalposts on me and said it really would have to be more like two months. I'm not sure if it was a bait and switch tactic, but it worked. I wouldn't have signed on for two months even feeling like death. But two weeks? Even I could do that. What was remarkable was that after two weeks, I didn't miss it. I felt a little proud that I actually possessed a little willpower. After a month, I was shocked to see that the sugar cravings were mostly gone. I also noticed that my taste buds were beginning to change. When I would have an orange- my fruit of choice- it began to taste sweeter. Almost like candy. It was almost like all of the artificial sugar dulled my taste buds towards the real stuff. After six months, I fully embraced the change. Somewhere along the way, I decided that I would go a full year without any added sugar or bread. It was during this time when I realized how much societal pressures bleed into our decisions, even unconsciously. I didn't even think about sugar or bread unless we went out to eat. It was then that I realized how unhealthy our culture really is. I had to accept that 90% of the items on the menu I could not get because of either added sugar or bread. On top of that, it was interesting to see the reactions from others. When going out to dinner with friends, I became a bit of a sideshow to everyone's curiosity and even their judgement. I would get peppers with questions. Often, in a dismissive way. Condescending even. Alcohol was one of the things I gave up, which led to even greater scorn. I finally began speaking up, addressing the fact that I never even brought up the sugar or bread- it was only discussed by what I chose to order. From there, because I was different, there was this need to poke at me like I was some type of science experiment. I'm not questioning what you are eating (even though I probably had more of a reason to do so), so why are you questioning me? That showed me how societal norms and peer pressure often help keep people unhealthy. After a year, I felt physically better than ever, a side effect that wasn't even the goal with cutting these things out. I lost weight, became leaner and even noticed changes in me face by reducing the inflammation. The mental side was harder. We were trying to reverse years of apparent stress that I never addressed, and reverse it after an adrenal crash. Just so you know, it's much harder to repair your adrenals after a big crash. So I beg you not to let it get there. Cutting out sugar and bread was a life changing decision for me. If I didn't make those changes, the road that I was on was a dire one. Like is often the case, when we get healthier, we slip back into our old patterns. I did as well. After years of letting sugar creep back in, I got focused enough to do it again. On my 49th birthday, I decided to cut sugar out again for a full year. And after a fabulous, peanut butter ice cream sundae on my 50th birthday, I am once again going sugar free for the next year. I did many things and made many changes to overcome my adrenal fatigue and become healthy again. Elizabeth and I set much more focused sleep goals. We invested in proper supplements. I intentionally got more sunshine, more movement, meditation as well as more breaks in my work. But the thing that changed my life for the better- and seemed to turn it all around- were the changes that I made in my diet. If diving deeper

S6 Ep 6How To Sleep Smarter
I hope you enjoyed yesterday's interview with Shawn Stevenson. Stevenson was instrumental in getting my health back after a severe bout of adrenal fatigue. My wife Elizabeth and I found his podcast, The Model Health Show, as I was pushing the boundaries on my health. My diet had become predictably unhealthy. Not in a dramatic way, and often, that can be the worst way. We can lull ourselves into thinking everything is just fine. In reality, though, we have become just a little more tired. We're getting just a little less sleep. Our clothes are fitting just a little too tight. We don't worry about the extra hours we are putting in. I have bills to pay and mouths to feed, right? It's all honorable. How can you succeed without hard work? But it's easy to run past the boundaries when you don't know where they are. It's even easier to stray when you don't have any set boundaries. Looking back, I had few. And it hit me. And hit me hard. It seemed to happen overnight. I learned later that it was years in the making. One evening, I stayed up way too late watching YouTube videos. One led to another, and somewhere along the way I began watching a few documentaries that got me worried. A few more, and I was panicked. The next morning, Elizabeth woke up next to a different husband. I remember lying in bed, feeling like everything was falling apart. She had to laugh because the night before, everything was just fine and dandy. Although I knew that our world hadn't changed overnight, something in my body did. With the stress that I put on my mind, something seemed to be fighentingly differently. Worry took over as I literally felt it in my heart. It was like it was shaking. What was so hard was even attempting to explain this to anyone else. How could everyone else seem so calm? How could they seem so stress free when I couldn't stop shaking? That night, I slept less than three hours. That pattern continued for more than sixteen months. I would finally fall asleep around 11pm. But like clockwork, I would wake up in a panic a few hours later. My heart would be racing. My chest would be pounding. I'd look at the clock. 1:58. The next night, the same thing would happen. It became so common that when my eyes would open, I would guess the time without even looking at the clock. "2:01," I would say to myself. I was spot on. For months, I could predict the time within one minute of the actual time. It got so bad that I would go downstairs and sit with my head on the dining room table, wrapped up in a combination of depression, worry and anxiety. Elizabeth would walk downstairs, asking what time I woke up. I'd explain that I only slept for an hour. The burden that this took on our family was immense. Elizabeth essentially had to be a single mom for more than a year, while adding a nervous, adult child to the mix. Every day, I would wake up exhausted, I'd grab a blanket and drop onto the couch. I was tired before the day began. My body battled with each other- the exhaustion would fight against the anxiety. And it left me battered and bruised. After six months of stubbornness, I finally went to get bloodwork done to see what was going on. It turned out that I had adrenal fatigue. Are you curious what adrenal fatigue is? So was I. Essentially, it is a group of symptoms that occur in people who have been under mental, emotional or physical stress. I will link to some articles to help. Eventually, it makes life too hard to handle. With too much long term stress, our adrenal glands can't keep up and eventually give out. Between a combination of a poor diet and lack of boundaries with my work time, it shut me down. I knew I needed to make big changes while on a weekend walk with my son AndrewI. In bright sunshine next to a kid with boundless energy, I could not keep my eyes open. That night, with the help of a nutritionist, I made a major change in my diet- eliminating added sugar- and began to turn things around. It would be another year before I felt like I was past it, and if I'm being totally honest, all of these years later, I believe I still feel the effects of it today. In tomorrow's episode, I will discuss what I did to recover from my adrenal fatigue, things that you can do if you are experiencing it and- maybe most importantly- what to do so you don't experience this. If this can help anyone change so that they don't go through the torture that i did, my work here would be a success. Join me tomorrow for the final segment of this theme on Entrepreneurial Health!

S6 Ep 5A Conversation with Shawn Stevenson

S6 Ep 4The Land Of Isolation
People often ask me what it is that I do. I've never been an 'elevator pitch' type of person. Once, I blurted out a quick line. I help lonely entrepreneurs. It was meant to be a joke but the person nodded, leaned in and sounded extremely curious. She mentioned that there is such a need for that. I said it jokingly. I had no idea how close to the truth that statement really was. Helping lonely entrepreneurs was never what I set out to do. Eighteen years ago, when I first began planting the seeds to leave my career as an employee and build that life of freedom through entrepreneurship, the idea of it being lonely was the furthest idea from my mind. In fact, I would have gladly taken a large dose of loneliness, being that I was so tired of the politics of the newsroom and everything that came with the madness of the office that I worked in. The thought of being alone with my thoughts was enticing. Nobody telling me what to do. Nobody telling me where to go. Silence. Heavenly silence. We're still around a decade away from being empty nesters but I would guess that it's like that parent that is overwhelmed by the noise and the mess of raising children, who desperately wants quiet. They long for the days where they can wake up in silence, sip their morning coffee and enjoy a peaceful breakfast without nerf darts being shot into their toast while children run around screaming. And then they get there. The kids are on their own. They have their quiet. The quiet that they have wanted for years. But it's not exactly what they expected. As much as they value their newfound freedom, they miss some of the madness. They actually miss the noise. Most days. You don't know what you've got, till it's gone. For lonely entrepreneurs, it's not the same feeling as your kids growing and leaving the house. But so often, there is a void that is left when we don't have co-workers any longer no matter how toxic, mundane and aggravating as it all was. Retired pro athletes have told me the same. They don't miss the game but they miss hanging out with the guys in the locker room. So what happens to that void that was left? Where do we fill it? And so many of us fill it in the easiest, most convenient way available. We go online. Now don't even get me started on the Metaverse. Call me out of touch, call me old, call me whatever name you want. I have no interest in living in a virtual world with goggles on. I never even liked wearing goggles at the pool. But as we slip deeper into these virtual worlds (many would say that we are already doing so in many ways), it has led to an ease of convenience and a plethora of negative effects. Heavy use of Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat have widely been associated with feelings of isolation and depression. In a study by Brian Primack, the director of the Center for Research on Media, Technology and Health at the University of Pittsburgh, it turns out that people who spend more than two hours a day on social media felt twice as isolated as those who were only on for thirty minutes. Whether it's because we spend so much more time online or we feel isolated because we see others connected and connecting in ways that we aren't that make us so lonely, but either way, we are sociatally feeling more lonely and isolated. And there is no disputing that feelings of loneliness in the United States has reached an all time high. And the more we believe we are connected online, without the real benefits that come with true connection, is pulling us deeper into this trap. Lack of social connection heightens health risks to the same level as smoking fifteen cigarettes per day or having an alcoholic use disorder, according to Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University. And entrepreneurs are especially vulnerable to this. We control our time more. We have less rules to follow or people to answer to. We enjoy our work, so much so that we often have no idea how much time we spend online, on social media or in front of screens. But we have to protect ourselves from the isolation. It's simply become too easy to stay in our homes. It's become too normalized to order online, connect virtually and slowly begin to shun real human connection. All of this is making us more isolated. With that isolation comes a laundry list of health issues that we don't see coming. Socially isolated people have a harder time dealing with stressful situations. Do you think that has had an effect over the past two years? They have a harder time processing information, retaining memories and making decisions. The dream of entrepreneurial freedom did not include the trap of isolation. Yet more than ever, that trap has caught way too many. Whether you are working towards this life or are deeply into it, developing habits to combat isolation is going to be one of the greatest changes you can make for your health- both mentally and physically.

S6 Ep 3The Strain Of The Eye
It felt like a screwdriver was twisting through my temples. Not just one temple. This invisible screwdriver went though both ends of my skull and seemed to have the ability to dig in above my eyes as well, into the area beneath my eyebrows. My in-laws were visiting from Ohio, and up until that point, it was a fantastic time. But the pain struck fast, and it struck hard. It was confusing because for so long, I never dealt with any type of headaches. But over the past few years, they have crept in with more regularity. Even so, this was different. The pain was unbearable. It was one of those headaches that makes you wonder how people that deal with consistent migraines even make it. Either I've become soft and a big baby or this really was a pain that was hard to content with. I stumbled off into another room, trying desperately to get away from any and all noises. The only sound I craved was the sound of silence. What was astonishing was the level of sensitivity in my brain from this mental intruder. I can spend hours in this room, working away with all sorts of noises from the outside, including the loud impression that Dylan makes of a garbage truck. None of it slows me down for a moment. But when this type of headache moves in, every noise is like a needle shooting through my skull. The worst, oddly enough, is someone doing the dishes. The clanking, banging and sorting is my modern version of chinese water torture. The pain lasted a few days. Everything was still sensitive, and the agony seemed to enter directly through my eyes. Were my eyes giving out? Are my contacts failing me? Is something psychologically wrong with me? All of those thoughts entered my pounding head. What I didn't consider was Computer Vision Syndrome. Computer vision what, you ask? Yeah, I asked the same thing. I'd never heard of it before. But you search for odd things when your head feels like it is in the crosshairs in a war between two armies. Apparently, a more common term for this is digital eye strain. Ahhhh. Okay. I'm listening. My temples are pounding, but I'm listening. Your eyes are always working. But did you know that your eyes work harder when you are looking at a screen? I didn't. I also didn;t know that letters on a digital screen are more challenging for our eyes to read compared to the printed page because the letters are not as defined, they aren't as sharp and the glare and reflections from the screen makes it more challenging for our eyes. If you add in any previous eye problems that you already have, that will increase any discomfort that you will feel. This was all sounding uncomfortably accurate. As I laid there in an awkward position, I also learned that looking at a screen in an awkward position can lead to pain in the shoulder, back and neck, the ladder which can also contribute to the worsening of a headache. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? Or did they, but I was distracted while on a screen? Either way, this wasn't something I could ignore any longer. As I sat there feeling like death warmed over, I had to change something. Not only was it affecting my work, because if being on a screen causes pain, I obviously had to do less. But it was now barging into my family time. I would finish work many days, excited to be with Elizabeth and the boys. But the noise became so unbearable that I then needed to go on my own for quiet. This was not the life of freedom that we were striving for. As is always the case with growth, great pain comes with valuable solutions. As amazing as all of this technology is- tech that affords us the option to create businesses from anywhere, connect instantaneously across the globe and have virtually anything we want in a short time delivered right to us- it comes with some fairly major pitfalls. We will discuss isolation and sleep issues in the next two episodes, but the physical detriment to our eyes, our brains and our systems is a realy thing. And like any new invention that begins with almost all positives with little discussion on the downsides, we are reaching a maturity level here where a major disruption like Computer Vision Syndrome needs to be examined. Examined by healthy, well rested eyes. So whether you have experienced what it feels like to be dying a painful death through your head or you can see how this really can add up to possibly take you there, taking preventative measures to ward off The Angel Of (Head) Death should be as common as "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" adage from a half century ago. Some simple action steps that you can take immediately. 1- Utilize the 20-20-20 Rule that we discussed in yesterday's episode. 2- Keep your computer screen 15-20 degrees lower than your eyes 3- Utilize blue light coatings, tints or glasses to reduce the amount of blue light that your body sees. 4- Use the Pomodoro Technique, which is focused work for forty two to forty five minutes and then taking a fifteen to eighteen minute break away from all screens. 5- W

S6 Ep 2Living In Screentime
When we talk about health for entrepreneurs, there are quite literally hundreds of directions in which we can go. Finding information that is important about the health of entrepreneurs to share is not the problem. Choosing which direction to take is the challenge. So this week, I am going to go in a direction that you may not expect. I'm going to weave a storyline that addresses topics that we see touched upon often but hopefully making this a series and a combo will make it come together and have a deeper impact for you. We discussed in the previous lesson that entrepreneurs, for the most part, enjoy the work that they do. Why is that more common in entrepreneurs than employees? First, they have more options to choose the work that they will do. Why would you choose to create a business that you don't enjoy? And if you don't enjoy it, as an entrepreneur, you have many more options to pivot and shift the work away that you don't enjoy and spend your time on the work that you do like doing. You can hire to outsource the tedious tasks or figure out how to eliminate what isn't important. We keep going back to that one word- options. Business owners are usually less afraid of risk so they might even just start over with a new business. But when you like your work, you like to work. But unlike what work looked like for previous generations, much of our work done as business owners occurs in front of a screen. Even if you do your best to avoid social media, set up time blocks or use Parkinson's Law to be more efficient, we are still looking at a screen during much of that time. So if we address two factors- 1- business owners work sixty three percent more than employees and 2- much of that work is done in front of screens- we see that we are heading down a dangerous path that we warn our children of, but we don't heed that warning for ourselves. We (hopefully) guide our children to not spend too much time staring at screens. But do we stop to consider how much time we spend on screens, and what that amount of screen time does to us physically and mentally? Unfortunately, this is all so new in the grand scope. According to Oxford University researchers Amy Orben and Andrew Przybylski, the science being used to figure out how much screen time affects us is not solid, and it covers too wide of a range of people in too short of a period of time. Even Tim Cook, the CEO for Apple, has stated that we spend too much time on our devices. The funny thing is, we use all of this amazing technology to become more productive. But by working to become more productive, we spend more and more time looking to do so that we actually become incredibly less productive, more sedentary and causing great strain to our bodies and our minds. I got off of a series of zoom calls a few weeks ago and, after turning away from the computer, felt a dizziness that was becoming a little too common after calls. It was almost like I was drugged but it wasn't a drug that anyone would have taken voluntarily. There was a dizziness that made no sense. Of course, I went online to see what the issue might be. This is a funny, ironic little world that we created, isn't it? It was now so common to be on these calls that I never thought there might be consequences that come from staring for long periods of time at two pieces of polarized glass with a liquid crystal type material sandwiched between them. That sounds natural, doesn't it? The average American spends more than eleven hours looking at screens per day. Do you think this could be affecting our health in a multitude of ways? Now, at this point, you might be getting a little frustrated at me. You might be thinking, Vin. I'm not some schmo scrolling Youtube and Instagram all day wasting time. (We know you are a little, by the way). I run a business and I need to be on the computer otherwise things will not get done. And, guess what. I believe you. I'm no different. I also believe I don't waste time online (I'm lying like you are) and I also know that I need to be on the computer to get work done. I mean, I'm writing this on a computer and unless you printed this out, you are reading on one as well. So what do we do? Can we be more effective and spend less time online? Absolutely. That is classic 80/20, but it doesn't happen immediately. Those are habits that we need to implement, and disciplines that we need to create. But is there anything that we can do right now to make an improvement? After my dizzy spell, I looked at a screen to get an answer that helped me improve my health while on screens. The American Optometric Association suggests a 20-20-20 rule. I read it, utilized it, and, amazingly, it began to work. Here's how it goes. For every twenty minutes that you spend staring at a screen, take a twenty second break to look at something twenty feet away to give your eyes a break. That one little suggestion gave me a boundary and a framework that I didn't utilize before and it helped reduce the s

S6 Ep 1An Introduction To Entrepreneurial Health
The lure of entrepreneurship is something that, for many of us, is unavoidable. Those who know that this life is their destiny crave freedom more than security, the want options more than comfort and they desire control over direction. So much has been said to glorify and glamorize the world of entrepreneurship. Admittedly, there is a lot to fawn over. Aside from having to catch a rare early flight, I never wake up by an alarm. My schedule is mine to create. That's never the way it begins in business, but the beauty of running your own show is that you have the option and the freedom to dream, design and create the life- and schedule- that you desire. There was a long period of time that we valued extensive travel, and we built our business and schedule around that. Now that we have two teenagers and a ten-year-old, we have shifted our values and our vision to creating the most quality time with them as we bond in our relationships, prepare them for their future and make sure that we focus on the most important thing in our lives- our family. That all sounds peachy, doesn't it? That's what all of the wantrepreneurs- a joking term for employees that want to be entrepreneurs- focus on as they dream out their lives. But often, in chasing their dreams, they overlook the darker side of entrepreneurship. The health issues. Don't let any of the images of these business owners on their yachts and chilling at the beach fool you. The world of entrepreneurship is closely tied to some potentially damaging health issues. It all starts out so innocently. And passionately. Because entrepreneurs generally enjoy the work that they do, they actually like to work. That's something that most of the American population crave. A poll conducted by Gallup found that 85% of employees are unhappy in their jobs. 85 percent! So when you are able to create a business where you enjoy the work, it's not a stretch to want to work more. And often it's not just for the money. It's because of human nature- we want to be engaged in what we are interested in. That's why so many employees tell me they are dying a very slow death- they get paid well but are disengaged and bored with their work. So when they finally get out of their to do their own thing, the excitement of loving your work can tend to take over. Multiple studies have shown that entrepreneurs work sixty three percent longer than employees do. So it's not a surprise to hear that, not only are they more engaged with their work, but they also earn more income. In Thomas Stanley's book The Millionaire Next Door, he showed that seventy five percent of millionaires were self employed yet only twenty five percent of the population were self employed. Essentially, it's really difficult to become a millionaire as an employee and you have a much greater percentage of reaching that status as an entrepreneur. This world sounds pretty sweet right about now, doesn't it? Are you ready to go tell your boss to go pound sand and go get your life of freedom? I can relate. I had that moment too. But as I ran head first into this world, there were things that nobody told me about what I was rushing into. And who would tell me, anyway? Nobody I knew was really in this world. All I knew was that I was so tired of not having control of my time and being paid a low wage with no options to increase it that I just needed to get out without worrying about the downsides. Part of me is glad that I didn't know. Maybe, just maybe, it would have scared me off. Or caused me to pause. In full disclosure, I would take all of the health challenges that came with this life for the tradeoff that we made six days a week and twice on Sunday. But looking back, it wouldn't have hurt to be more prepared. So as we dive into this theme of Entrepreneurial Health this week, this will not only be beneficial to the newcomers but to the veterans as well. In our mastermind, the conversations and struggles are often around how we navigate the mental challenges of the work we do. The loneliness, the isolation, the overthinking, the sleep issues and the anxiety. The mental health as well as the physical health.

Storytelling Lessons From Tommy Boy
There is a great scene from the movie Tommy Boy that displays the power of storytelling in a silly but meaningful way. Tommy, played by Chris Farley, is in a restaurant with his friend and business partner Richard, who was played by David Spade. Tommy is the son of "Big Tom' Callahan, the owner of Callahan Auto, a successful auto parts business in Sandusky, Ohio. And even though "Big Tom'' is a master at sales, Tommy, or Tommy Boy as he is known, is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. It took him seven years to graduate from Marquette University, and even then, he barely made it out. Tommy Boy is gifted given an executive position within the company. This annoys Richard, who has been a loyal, hardworking employee and understands the nuances of the company and the business. Tommy Boy is set to cruise through life in his cozy office with the mini fridge and the Star Wars fan. But during his fathers wedding, 'Big Tom' collapsed while dancing and, to the shock of the guests, died of a massive heart attack on the spot. The company is sent into disarray, as the heart and leader of the company was suddenly gone. All of the hopes, to keep the company going and save the jobs of all of the employees, rested on the giant shoulders of Tommy Boy. The problem is, he sucks at sales. And without the trust that his dad had, the bank backed out of a promised loan for their new brake pad division. On top of that, they wanted immediate payment of all of the debt that the company owed. So it is up to Tommy Boy to go cross country, to try to sell a certain amount of brake pads to get the money to keep the business alive. Hilarity ensues as Tommy and Richard hit the road together. Each step of the way, the lack of experiences, social awkwardness and immaturity that Tommy Boy exhibits leads to failure after failure in attempting to close some deals. He tries to imitate some of his fathers stories and jokes that always worked but he couldn't pull it off. After another embarrassing scene where the failure continued, Tommy and Richard sit down at The Cluck Bucket for a meal, both still smarting by how poorly everything is going. A grumpy and obviously overworked waitress comes over to take their order. Tommy is really craving chicken wings and attempts to place the order but she explains that the kitchen is closed until dinner and they are currently only serving cold items and desserts. Tommy tries once more to see if he can get those wings, and the waitress quickly and coldly shuts him down. After resigning himself to consuming a sugar packet for his meal, Tommy changes his demeanor and asks what the waitress's name was. You see her, for a moment, have a human emotion as she says that her name is Helen. Tommy then compliments her and attempts to bond with her by acknowledging that they are both in sales. And he goes on to explain why he sucks at sales. When he starts telling the story, she sighs and briefly turns away, obviously annoyed by this entire situation. But Tommy Boy continues. He explains that whenever a client is even a little interested in buying something, he makes fun of himself by showing how ridiculously excited he gets at the chance. Each time this happens, Tommy Boy treats this potential opportunity as a precious "little pet", and he describes in physical humor as only Chris Farley can, how he winds up destroying that pet every time. During the scene, he has Helens full attention even as she looks disturbed by what he is saying. After his emotional outbreak within the description, Tommy regains his composure immediately. And with the cool calm and demeanor as his dad had, he bonds himself and Helen together with the words describing how people like them need to forge ahead. "God, you're sick," she says while shaking her head. "I'll tell you what," she says. "I'll go throw the fryers on and throw some wings on for you." Richard looks stunned by what Tommy Boy just pulled on. Tommy had no clue, he was just happy to get the wings. Richard asked about how he just completely turned around that situation with Helen. Why can't he sell like that? "I was just having fun," he described. "If we didn't get the wings, so what? We still have the meat lovers pizza in the trunk." Richard explained that he got the wings because he was relaxed. He showed that Tommy got the wings because he had confidence. And he got the wings because he knew how to read people, just like his dad knew how to do. All of those things are accurate and they all are important. But he didn't get the wings solely for any of those reasons. He got them because he was able to wrap his relaxation, his confidence, his ability to read people into a fabulous story. A story that shifted Helen from a grumpy cynic into a helpful advocate in a matter of minutes. That's what great storytellers do. They fearlessly show up- either one to one, through their voice, through their written words or up on stage in front of strangers. And they tell stories that turn strangers

How Your Stories Allow You To Stand Out
You would think that being someone that photographed the brutal, blood spitting, hard hitting. Board crunching game of hockey would have little connection to the pristine world of the pristine world of weddings. weddings where little girls have dreamed of that perfect, romantic day since they were seven. You would also think that brides want to see nothing but the beautiful details of their perfect wedding day reflected back at them by the photographer that they were choosing. We talked on Thursday's episode about storytellers having the ability to transcend industries. It's actually even more powerful than that. The skill allows you to blend your skills within your industry, allowing you to be specific and niched while also having a chameleon-like ability to cover more ground. Creating that skill and understanding allows you to grab opportunities that you normally might not have a shot at. Deep into our wedding photography career, I met with a bride and her dad about her upcoming nuptials. Our approach to meeting with a bride was very simple. I brought two briefcases- both with a beautiful, modern and custom designed wedding album. Those albums allowed us to show two full weddings, start to finish, displaying not only our storytelling abilities but the way we captured moments, the way that we saw light and the quality of our albums. One evening, before I was to meet with a potential client, I picked up a copy of a magazine that I had been impatiently waiting for. It was an issue of Sports Illustrated, but not just any issue of SI. It was the issue that- after years of trying- had one of my images prominently displayed. A few months earlier, I had shot a picture of Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby that was selected by their editors to be the main, two page wide photograph that would lead off the featured story that they wrote about him. I could barely contain my excitement. Sports Illustrated was my favorite magazine growing up and it was one of my biggest dreams to get a prominent spot in their magazine, When I got the copy in my hand, I stared at it way longer than I should have. I thought back to all of the years where I made no money in the industry. In fact, I made a grand total of twenty thousand dollars in my first six years of shooting, including my time at school. So many emotions flooded my head as I stared at that paper. Wanting to show my friend, I placed one of the copies in my briefcase that held the wedding albums. At the meeting with the bride that night, she showed up with her parents. She seemed to really enjoy our work and the conversation was good but by no means sis I get the vibe that this was a slam dunk. Sometimes, you just know. We can tell by their language that they were going to book us, they just needed to meet in person and make sure that we weren't complete lunatics before they signed the check. This meeting wasn't the case. She was clear that they had met with a handful of other photographers and they would make their decision once they evaluated all of the options. At the end of the meeting, as I put the album back in the case, I saw the Sports Illustrated at the bottom. "Would you like to see something cool before you go?," I asked, completely unscripted. After they agreed, I pulled out the magazine and showed them my image. "You shot that?" The bride asked. I went into full storytelling mode. I told them the entire story, including how I had such a bad back problem that I almost didn't make it to the game. I could hardly walk and was awaiting a possible surgery, but I couldn't turn down this assignment. It was with a new agency and I wouldn't get future work if I said no. I then told the story about how, because of the back pain and getting no sleep the night before, I not only forgot to bring my camera batteries to the arena but how I mistakenly brought one of our broken cameras! The entire afternoon was a comedy of errors that kept leading down a darker, more painful path. They knew that the day would end positively, judging by the picture in the magazine, but they were transfixed on each word that I said. I made sure I took my time and let them feel what I was feeling. They couldn't get enough. I then described the end of the game, when that image was made. Usually, if I'm in good health, I leave my spot to rush back to the photo room to transmit the images and then get out to beat traffic. But I was in so much pain that I sat in my seat a little longer. While I sat there, the team announced the three stars- the top players from the game. Crosby was the number one star, and with nothing but a spotlight on him, he skated onto the ice, waved his stick while somehow glancing at me, and I took one shot. What I went to transmit, I didn't think much of the image. I needed to send twenty images to the agency. I had sent nineteen. I chose that for the twentieth. That was the image that they selected. This bride and her parents sat with their mouths open. They looked

S5 Ep 5A Conversation With Matthew Dicks

Don't Forget To Pause
Storytelling is an art as much as it's a science. It's a medium that is fascinating because it can never truly be mastered. Maybe for a moment. Maybe it can be for a magical hour. But being a great storyteller is very much like tuning a guitar. When you tune that guitar perfectly and strum that first F chord, it sounds absolutely perfect. But any guitar player will tell you that it never stays that way. Even when you play great, it goes out of tune. And the notion that you constantly need to retune to keep great sound is learned quickly by any aspiring guitar player. Telling a story well is similar to playing a guitar well. You constantly need to retune. I had learned that I was a pretty good storyteller by the time I was hired as a photojournalist in Evansville. My photo series in the William Randolph Hearst National Champion was first place in the national competition, giving me validation, credentials and a little cash- all that were needed. My verbal storytelling was much more unrefined. The biggest stage I had was a full table at a bar. But there was something about putting sentences together in a way that kept people leaning towards me and having them maintain eye contact that was slightly intoxicating. So any chance I had, I used stories to keep the attention. Even in typical work situations. One afternoon at the newspaper, I was assigned to a breaking news assignment with no warning. I drove over to the location, documenting the crime scene while doubling as the reporter since there was no writer who could get to the scene that quickly. I attempted to get as much information from the police and the witnesses to bring back to the newsroom to use for the story. Being an early evening event, I rushed back to the newsroom to get my images scanned and the story relayed. I was out of breath as I dropped my gear on the table while our editor rushed over to find out what was going on. He wanted all of the information to relay to the news editor. In full adrenaline mode, I began relaying everything that I had learned. My editor, a southern paced, slow talking chap, often snickered at my quick, new york style of talking. I shot fact after fact while relaying the atmosphere of the scene. I meticulously rattled off the names of the victim, the family members that I met and the stories from the witnesses that I encountered. Ending with a frantic finish, I got everything in with precision before I could forget any of the details. I took a deep breath, exhausted but thrilled to have relayed that for the newsroom to utilize. I looked at my boss, waiting for any follow up questions while he was obviously processing all of the vital information I had shared. He looked at me with what has to be an obvious, proud smile. "Son," he said. "I didn't understand a word that you just said." My ability to tell a great story was handcuffed by my inability to pause. A pause is an essential piece in the arsenal of the storyteller and when ignored, it's not much different than a guitar player who forgets to tune their guitar. Whether it's through music or through speaking, the pause brings drama and suspense to a story. Think of the notes from a song that moves you. It's often the pause between two notes that is as meaningful as the note itself. It's the pause that allows you to process what was said previously and gives you the space to anticipate what is coming next. By rattling off my words like a speed metal guitarist would pound on notes on his blazing solo, I gave no time for my editor to think, appreciate or process the words that I said. Often for speakers, we are afraid to pause because we don't want to give the appearance that we don't know what we are talking about. I have had an aversion to what is known as "dead air" in the radio world. An Achilles of my verbal style is that fear of silence. Yet the most masterful storytellers actually make your audience believe that you know what you are talking about. Pauses allow your audience to keep up with your pace. Storytelling is different from a conversation. In a conversation, a pause is usually filled up with either the other person speaking or the person speaking using filler words to keep control of the conversation. This episode is a general overview of the pause, and we will go much deeper into this in the advanced storytelling seasons that we have in the future but if you can leave here today with a good respect for the power of the pause, this will be well worth it. I'll leave you with one final thought and story on the importance of the pause- administering the element of surprise. One of the best examples of this came from a press conference in which Boston College basketball player Dennis Clifford was being interviewed. His team had gone winless for the season, and an obviously emotional sat at the podium next to his coach and he was asked a question from a reporter. They were the first team ever to go 0-19 in the Atlantic Coast Conference. He was asked what his b

Why Stories Allow Us To Transcend Industires
Download the FREE audio version of Freelance To Freedom here! It won't be available for free much longer.

Your Obligation To Be A Better Storyteller

The Art Of Storytelling- Why We Need To Gather Our Stories

Mastering The 80/20 Rule

It's Time To Double Down
If you are new to the podcast, I wanted to share Episode 1 of Season 2, which started on this new format for the show. The first theme was titled "How To Build A Lifestyle Business".

How We Used The 80/20 Rule To Achieve Time Freedom

Are You Doing What Really Matters?
If you would like to support the Total Life Freedom Podcast, you can do that by buying us a coffee! Join the Total Life Freedom Free FB Group!

The 80/20 Power Curve
Are you looking for more access to me in helping you gain a life of freedom through entrepreneurship? Are you looking for a like minded community of entrepreneurs to mastermind with? Apply for the Total Life Freedom Mastermind Community!

How The 80/20 Rule Can Help Achieve Your Goals While Saving You Time

An Introduction To The 80/20 Rule
Come join us in the Facebook Total Life Freedom Podcast page!

How To Use Imposter Syndrome To Your Advantage

Getting Caught In The Comparison Trap

How (And Why) You Should Accept Compliments
To apply to have your story told on The Total Life Freedom podcast, or to be a potential guest for the show, please fill out this form! We hope it's a good fit!

The Price Of Perfectionism
If you would like to support the work behind The Total Life Freedom Podcast, you can show your support by buying Vincent a coffee! He would be happy to give you a shout out on the show!

Why Do We Sabotage Ourselves?
Do you want to join a community of generous, collaborative entrepreneurs helping each other towards building a life of time, money and location freedom? Check out the Total Life Freedom Mastermind Community!

A Fascinating Fact About 'Imposters'

Where Did Imposter Syndrome Come From?

Are You Embarrassed To Share Your Accomplishments?

How To Create The Life That You Desire

A Conversation About Lifestyle Freedom With Chris Niemeyer
Thanks to Chris Niemeyer for a fantastic conversation! Learn more about him at chrisniemeyer.com!

How To Turn a Struggle Into Endless Opportunities

The World Of Micro Niches
