The Lizard Review

On the walls of long forgotten about structures buried deep beneath the sands of time, there is an old fable etched in a language that no one speaks anymore. It is a tale of love lost, of infatuation, of meeting the wrong person at the wrong time, and of heartbreak. It is a tale that spans decades, that spans eras, that spans across timelines, that spans across lovers and outfits and rules....it is the story of CHLOE, SAM, SOPHIA, and MARCUS, and it's the greatest story ever told. I've already lyrically analyzed it before, but let's go deeper, girls....let's dig this son of a b***h up and dust it off. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Allow me to introduce you to your new favorite girl band...Flo just released their debut LP titled ACCESS ALL AREAS - a referential, nostalgic, y2k r&b bonanza inspired by the likes of Destiny's Child, but put together by three young gen z women who have been working to put this album together for nearly five entire years. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

What do Taylor Swift and Halsey have in common...? Well, they're both writers, they're both creatives...and they both dated the exact same TORTURED POET and lived to write about it, and in doing so have given us an interesting codex of songs to compare and contrast. In this episode, I pull apart Halsey's Lonely Is The Muse from her latest record The Great Impersonator, and reflect on what it means to actually BE a muse, and how the experience can often intersect in surprising ways with sexism and gender. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!! Here's an early episode 🎃 One of the most iconic pieces of Halloween history is a little film starring three queens (Bette Midler, SJP, and Kathy Najimy) that captures the essence of what Halloween felt like when you were a kid - magical, ripe with possibility, and creepy. It was a massive commercial and critical FLOP when it was first released, but over time, this film has become one of the greatest cult classic success stories, and is watched by MILLIONS of people every single year. I couldn't think of anything better to celebrate one of the best holidays of all time than to take a deep dive into Hocus Pocus ✨ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is the story of a thousand wigs, a thousand tears, a thousand hours, a thousand years, a thousand shows, a thousand influences, a thousand hurts from the biggest to the smallest, and of a thousand different people, one of them being myself, somehow all of them being Halsey. They told her she has no sense of identity, and they asked her, "do you even know who you are?" The Great Impersonator repeats this question. Do YOU even know who you are? What are we, if we are not just the sum of our own thousands of people? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

The year : 2008. The book : a bestseller. The actors : thought they were making a cute little indie film only to discover their entire lives being upended. Rock band Muse : said sure go ahead give throw them a bone, no one will even remember we were on this soundtrack! Hayley Williams : was also there. The author : Mormon lady obsessed with making playlists. The director : looked like she collected "crystals" from the river on her time off. The girl obsessed with it all : A LIZARD!!!! This is the story of the greatest set of movie soundtracks ever made....The Twilight Saga soundtracks. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

In observance of the Holy Rite of the Lizard's Birthday, please participate in a FAVORED Lizard Birthday Ritual by watching the greatest film ever made, Practical Magic, starring two of the greatest actresses of our times, Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock, and then come back and listen to this episode for a full dissection of the film's true depths....sadly not many critics have ever seen the greatness in this work of art....THANK GOD FOR THE LIZARD!!!!!!!!!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

A deep and personal look into my latest and greatest fixation, a brand new band called Sunday (1994) and their new EP that's perfect for the Fall season. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

The third in a series where I go through the most IMPORTANT and influential albums in my life - this one is about the boundless joy that comes from realizing it does not matter what anybody thinks about you, and it reminds us that life and music and art are all things that can be fun, if you allow them to be. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

A 2010's empire built upon notions of standing up for yourself, girl power, and unrelenting poptimism comes crumbling down right before our eyes in Katy Perry's final stab at relevancy in the 2020's, her new album 143. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Was it the best one ever? Well, no.... Was it the worst one ever!? WELL, NO!!! The 2024 VMA's was truly a moment of divas being up, and flops being down and down BAD. Not everyone can share pieces of the crown I fear! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Britney Spears' most iconic performances. Miley Cyrus getting caught on smack cam in front of a live audience. Beyonce pregnancy announcement. Madonna showing cheek and panty live on television. Eminem fighting a puppet. Kurt Cobain tormenting Axl Rose for fun. And that's just the beginning... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

A lyrical analysis of, what else.....August by Taylor Swift. A song about a first love that becomes a lost love and everything that goes along with it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Sabrina Carpenter's new album where she exposes Shawn Mendes as a poor man's Justin Bieber, Maude Latour's debut record where she more than proves herself as capable of fitting in with her gen z contemporaries, and a brief look at how we treat celebrities following Chappell Roan's comments on celebrity and fan culture. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Halsey is regaining footing after a disappointing lead single, Tinashe is pushing forward amidst her viral success, Addison Rae is BACK, Beabadoobee is Michelle Branch 2.0, Gaga and Bruno Mars surprise the hell out of me, and the internet wants you believe that Blake Lively is trying to destroy it all...all that AND MORE in today's NMF. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

An American tradition (gathering celebrities into one room and forcing them to play nice with one another for four hours) has returned....Join me in reading through ALLLL the nominees for the MTV Video Music Awards, and hear some of my predictions for who will win what (and why.) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

The second in a series where I go through the most IMPORTANT and influential albums in my life - this one served in ways I never thought possible and did it all while shaking the foundations of my reality. Through others, we become ourselves. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Gwen Stefani did a lot of things during her LAMB era that I'm sure you'd LIKE to forget about...sadly I won't let you!!! Plus, Britney Spears, The Backstreet Boys, and Doja Cat. Accompanying playlist on Spotify // Apple Music This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

NEW MUSIC AND POP CULTURE FRIDAY!!!!! Featuring Remi Wolf, Clairo, Halsey, Longlegs, Griff, Zach Bryan, and a shadow figure lurking in the background. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

The first in a series where I go through the most IMPORTANT and influential albums in my life - this one made me feel seen and heard at one of the most pivotal times in my life. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Lasso hasn't been seen except in the shadows late at night in the mountains. Brat can only be seen by those with the wherewithal to comprehend it. And Chanel No. 5 will never be seen at all..... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

I'M BACK FROM LONDON!! My welcome home gift was the latest album from Camila Cabello and it unfortunately DID NOT come with a receipt so I'm unable to return it....additionally some SZA, Halsey, and Kesha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

A lyrical analysis / manifestation circle, in the hopes of receiving this song as a surprise song in London... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

A short list of the songs that make me absolutely buckwild insane, including a longer playlist. Playlist on Spotify // Playlist on Apple This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

NEW MUSIC FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Halsey, Sabrina Carpenter, and of course, Charli XCX. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

What's the one thing Taylor Swift and Halsey have in common? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

From nonsensical Stan Wars about which pop girl is polluting the environment more, to boring indie girls, to Meghan Trainor...it's all righttt here for your enjoyment. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

ruminations on the brand new Billie Eilish record that truly do range from hard and soft. WARNING : I cry. I also do impressions. Classic. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

a thorough lyrical analysis of Taylor Swift's I Hate It Here, and for some reason Perez Hilton comes up organically? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

a lyrical analysis of the strongest soldier on The Anthology - an overlooked masterpiece, one of her strongest pieces of writing, and proof she is Emily Swiftinson. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

your last correspondence before The Tortured Poets Department comes out...here is a Dear Reader lyrical analysis 📖 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

a previously paywalled episode I'm sharing with EVERYONE in honor of TTPD coming out. A purrrfect primer for the new album 🤍 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

New Music from Chappell Roan, Jojo Siwa, Glass Animals, Lizzy McAlpine, and the ever-present Charli XCX. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

NEW MUSIC FRIDAY with Camila Cabello, JoJo Siwa, Twenty-One Pilots, Flyana Boss, and of course the cowboy herself...Beyonce...if that ain't country, you tell me what is!!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

A lyrical analysis of one of the best songs on Lover. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

Article One // Article Two This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe