The High Performance Life

This episode is a little different. Instead of me asking the questions… I'm the one in the hot seat. I sit down with longtime friend and creative partner Cheryl Tan—someone who's seen the journey up close for nearly a decade—to unpack the real story behind the show, the LIFE framework, and the seasons of life we don't talk about enough. We go deep into what it actually looks like to build something meaningful while navigating family, business, overwhelm, and identity shifts—especially in this stage of life. We talk about empty nesting, marriage, regret, curiosity, and why most people feel busy… but still disconnected. And maybe most importantly—how to design a life that actually feels like your own. If you've ever felt like life is moving fast… Or you're building something but not sure it's aligned… This conversation will hit! 🔑 Key Takeaways Why most people feel overwhelmed—and how clarity starts by separating what you can vs can't control The real purpose behind the LIFE framework—and how to actually use it in your day-to-day life Why relationships—not transactions—are the foundation of both business and fulfillment The hidden emotional weight of empty nesting—and how to navigate that transition intentionally How to design your "perfect day"—and why most people never take time to define it Why curiosity is one of the most underrated skills for growth, connection, and better conversations The importance of building your next chapter while still living your current one

What if the reason you still feel stuck… has nothing to do with your effort, and everything to do with where you're building from? In this episode, I sit down with Keyen Lage—former NFL athlete turned high-performance coach—to unpack why so many successful people still struggle with self-belief, fulfillment, and direction. We go deep into something I think a lot of people miss: the difference between building a life from your head… vs your heart. Keyen shares his journey from reaching the NFL to having that identity stripped away—and how that forced him to rebuild from a completely different place. We also talk about curiosity, faith, risk, and why some of the biggest breakthroughs in life don't come from a plan… but from being willing to follow something you don't fully understand yet. If you've ever felt like you're doing all the right things but still feel disconnected… this conversation will challenge how you think about success, purpose, and what it actually means to be aligned. About Keyen Lage Keyen Lage is a high-performance coach for ambitious men and a former NFL athlete whose career was cut short by a neck injury. After reaching the pinnacle of professional sport, he was forced to rebuild his life from scratch—shifting his focus toward emotional alignment, relationships, and long-term fulfillment. Over the past seven years, he has built a multi six-figure coaching business, working with Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, professional athletes, and high-level creators. His work centers on helping men eliminate self-sabotage, lead with emotional clarity, and understand masculine–feminine dynamics so they can experience both external success and internal fulfillment. Blending performance psychology with emotional depth, Keyen teaches that true leadership and resilience are not forced—they are the byproduct of alignment. Key Takeaways Why achieving success doesn't guarantee fulfillment—and often exposes deeper misalignment The difference between building from the head vs the heart, and why one leads to self-sabotage Why curiosity—not control—is often the driving force behind meaningful life change How following "what feels right" can lead to opportunities you couldn't logically plan for The role of faith and something bigger than yourself in sustaining long-term success Why environment and surroundings play a critical role in personal growth and identity shifts How self-sabotage often comes from pursuing goals that aren't aligned with who you truly are

What if the biggest breakdowns in your relationships… aren't about what you're saying— but how you're saying it? In this episode, I sit down with Betsy Butterick—"The Coaches' Coach" to unpack the communication habits that quietly shape every relationship in our lives. We talk about the gap between what we intend to say and how it's actually received—and why so many conversations break down before they even have a chance to succeed. Betsy shares practical, real-world tools that can immediately improve how you communicate—whether you're leading a team, raising a family, or navigating everyday relationships. If you've ever felt misunderstood… or struggled to communicate clearly with the people closest to you, this conversation will challenge the way you think about connection. About Betsy Butterick Betsy Butterick is known as "The Coaches' Coach"—a communication specialist who helps individuals and teams build stronger relationships through more effective communication. As a former coach, she understands that "chemistry" isn't random—it's something that is built through intentional connection, with communication at its core. In her work, Betsy meets people where they are and helps them improve how they communicate, collaborate, and lead. She brings a professional, playful, and people-centric approach to learning and development. A lifelong athlete and former collegiate basketball player, Betsy applies a high-performance mindset to her work—helping individuals and teams create meaningful change through small, consistent shifts. Key Takeaways Why "before you tell, ask" is one of the most effective ways to improve communication How assumptions derail conversations—and why curiosity leads to better outcomes The difference between intention and impact, and why that gap causes conflict Why hard conversations feel difficult—and how to approach them more effectively How fear of judgment prevents people from asking the questions that matter most Why clarity and directness can be powerful—when delivered with the right context The role curiosity plays in building stronger, more meaningful relationships

In this episode, I am joined by ADHD coach and podcast host Kristen Carder! Kirsten's mission is to unpack what ADHD really looks like in adulthood, and why so many people grow up believing they're lazy, disorganized, or broken when the reality is far more complex. Today, Kristen shares her own journey from struggling to find her purpose to building one of the most recognized podcasts and coaching communities for adults with ADHD. Together, they explore the everyday realities of living with ADHD—from time blindness and overcommitment to creativity, relationships, and parenting. They also dive into why ADHD often goes undiagnosed for decades—especially for women—and how understanding your brain can transform the way you see yourself, your relationships, and your potential. If you've ever felt like you're capable of so much more but can't quite figure out why certain parts of life feel harder than they should… this conversation may help connect the dots. About Kristen Carder Kristen Carder is a multi-certified life coach, educator, and host of the I Have ADHD Podcast, which has reached millions of listeners around the world. After years of tutoring students who struggled in school, Kristen began noticing a pattern: many of the families she worked with were navigating ADHD—but there were almost no resources available for adults trying to understand their own brains. That realization led her to launch the I Have ADHD Podcast in 2018, which quickly grew into a global platform supporting adults with ADHD through education, coaching, and community. Kristen now leads the Focused coaching program and helps thousands of adults better understand their ADHD, regulate their emotions, and build lives that work for the way their brains are wired. Her work centers around helping people break free from shame, self-criticism, and the belief that they're simply "not trying hard enough." Key Takeaways Why ADHD is often misunderstood as laziness or lack of discipline How ADHD brains are driven by interest, urgency, and novelty—not traditional motivation The concept of "time blindness" and why people with ADHD struggle with deadlines and lateness Why ADHD often runs in families and can become normalized across generations How ADHD can impact relationships when partners feel like managers or parents Why understanding your strengths—and designing life around them—is key to thriving with ADHD The connection between ADHD, emotional regulation, and childhood experiences

After 45 years of helping families, couples, and individuals, Dr. Larry Waldman has seen the same patterns repeat themselves again and again. Fear of failure. Avoiding help. Self-sabotage. And the powerful ways childhood shapes the adults we become. In this conversation, Dr. Waldman shares lessons from nearly half a century in clinical psychology, working with marriages on the brink, struggling parents, high performers battling imposter syndrome, and individuals trying to break free from the stories they tell themselves. We talk about why people resist getting help even when they desperately need it, how early childhood experiences quietly shape our mindset for decades, and why fear of failure keeps so many people stuck in careers, relationships, and situations they know aren't right. Dr. Waldman also shares deeply personal reflections about his own upbringing, his father's struggles in business, and the lessons that shaped his life and career. This episode is full of practical wisdom about parenting, relationships, personal responsibility, and the mindset shifts that allow people to move forward, even when life feels uncertain. About Dr. Larry Waldman Dr. Larry F. Waldman, Ph.D., ABPP is a Phoenix, Arizona licensed clinical and forensic psychologist who recently became semi-retired after a 45-year private practice. Over the course of his career, he worked with children, teens, parents, couples, and adults, and consulted with attorneys in areas including family law, personal injury, immigration, and estate planning—all while navigating the life of a successful entrepreneur and raising two sons. He earned degrees from the University of Wisconsin and the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee, completed his Ph.D. at Arizona State University, and received Diplomate status (ABPP) in 2003. Dr. Waldman has served in leadership and advisory roles across the profession, including: Past President of the Maricopa Psychological Society Director of Psychological Services at Charter Psychiatric Hospital of Glendale Adjunct graduate professor in counseling He is also certified as an ACE senior fitness specialist and a certified yoga instructor. Dr. Waldman is the author of eight books and a seasoned speaker who brings practical, engaging "edutainment" to topics like parenting, marriage, stress, business psychology, and personal development. 🔑 Key Takeaways Why many people still avoid seeking mental health help—even when they clearly need it The stigma around mental health and how it prevents people from improving their lives The fine line between coaching and therapy—and why having someone to talk to is critical for growth Why imposter syndrome and fear of failure often hold people back in their careers How childhood experiences and parenting styles shape confidence, resilience, and independence The powerful role parents play in shaping their children through everyday behavior—not just words Why trying—even when you fail—is always better than staying stuck in fear

In this week's episode, I am joined by Light Watkins! Light Watkins is a bestselling author, speaker, podcast host, and mindfulness expert focused on helping people create presence and fulfillment "from the inside out." He's the author of five books, including Bliss More, Travel Light, and his newest, The Year You Transform, which introduces his "Tortoise Approach to Change"—building lasting change through small, 7-day commitments. He also leads an online community called The Happiness Insiders, has spoken for Fortune 500 companies, and has led workshops around the world. Key Takeaways Why success without inner work leads to emptiness The difference between being "on" vs being your authentic self How discomfort is the gateway to presence and growth Why most people sabotage fulfillment by chasing big changes The "No Complaining" challengeand why it's harder than you think The Tortoise Approach: small, consistent habits that actually transform your life Best Moments 02:46 – What it really means to be your "true self" "Being your true self is who you would be if you didn't care so much about what other people thought about you… and if you were focused on making a difference." 05:57 – The real goal: presence, not success "Most people ultimately want to feel connected… fulfilled… like their life matters. And the umbrella term for all of that is presence." 06:30 – Why discomfort is necessary "In order to get to that state of presence, we need to inoculate ourselves with some discomfort." "A lot of the most uncomfortable moments in your life were actually the most profound ones." 08:24 – Why we resist growth in our own lives "We love the drama and growth in movies… but we reject it when it happens in our own life." 11:54 – You don't need to change your environment "You don't need to go across the world to have that experience—you can bring that experience to where you are." 13:48 – The moment success didn't fulfill him "I saw myself on a billboard in Times Square… and I realized, it didn't really make me feel that different inside." 16:34 – The lie we're sold about success "The sense of fulfillment that I thought was going to come from that… didn't come." 18:47 – Where fulfillment actually comes from "The goodness we're looking for… is really in the small moments." 30:33 – The power of shifting from frustration to gratitude "I went from frustration to appreciation… and that moment stayed with me for years." 34:44 – The hardest habit: no complaining "Seven days without complaining… almost everyone takes longer than seven days to do it." "What you realize is—you're surrounded by complainers, because it's how we bond." 36:40 – The 3 paths to change "The first path is 'Eat, Pray, Love'—blow your life up… and that rarely works the way people think." 38:36 – Why people break under pressure "That breaking point didn't happen in two seconds—it was building for years." 40:25 – The Tortoise Approach to transformation "You want to optimize for consistency… not intensity." "There's no graduation date—you just keep showing up." 44:52 – Success vs fulfillment "You're not going to be more fulfilled just because you get to the money faster." 47:36 – The uncomfortable truth "Here's how you know you're the problem… you think they're the problem." 49:37 – Where change actually starts "If you're the problem… you also have the solution.

In this week's episode, I am joined by Michael Easter! Michael Easter is a bestselling author, journalist, and professor whose work explores the intersection of performance, health, and modern life. He is the author of The Comfort Crisis, a New York Times bestseller credited with helping popularize rucking—walking with added weight—as a powerful tool for physical and mental resilience. His latest book, WALK WITH WEIGHT: The Definitive Guide to Rucking (Feb 2026), blends science, evolutionary history, and practical guidance to show how one of the most fundamental human movements can dramatically improve strength, endurance, mood, and longevity. Named "The Workout of 2024" by GQ, rucking has been embraced by leading voices in health and performance. Michael's work challenges the modern obsession with comfort and aesthetics, advocating instead for sustainable, functional habits that build real resilience—physically and mentally. Key Takeaways -Most people don't struggle from lack of knowledge—they struggle from choosing comfort over action - The "2% mindset": why only a small percentage choose the harder (but better) path - Simple, ancient behaviors (like walking, being outdoors, and community) still outperform complex routines - Why "perfect" health optimization often backfires—and what actually works long-term - How small daily decisions (like taking the stairs) compound into massive life changes - Why rucking (walking with weight) may be the highest ROI habit for strength, endurance, and longevity Best Moments 00:00 – Why modern life is engineered for comfort (and why that's a problem) 03:00 – We've never had more health information… so why are we worse off? 07:03 – "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough" 08:58 – How comfort is quietly damaging our relationships 10:14 – The 2% mindset: choosing discomfort for long-term gain 18:58 – Why small habits (like stairs) create massive long-term change 21:03 – The real secret to building consistency (just start) 23:21 – Why rucking is one of the highest ROI habits you can do 27:41 – How to stack habits into your daily life without extra time

Amy Leneker is an optimistic, joy-seeking, recovering workaholic—and a leadership consultant with more than 25 years of experience, including a decade in the C-suite. Over the course of her career, she has helped more than 100,000 leaders, teams, and organizations—from Fortune 100 companies to the public sector—thrive at work through keynotes, coaching, and training centered on less stress and more joy. A first-generation college student, Amy earned both her undergraduate and graduate degrees while working full-time and later raising a family. She has studied leadership at Yale, neuroscience through the NeuroLeadership Institute, and stress resilience at Harvard Medical School. Her work and insights have been featured in outlets such as Fast Company, Inc., and CEOWORLD Magazine. Amy is the author of Cheers to Monday: The Surprisingly Simple Method to Lead and Live with Less Stress and More Joy (Wiley, March 24, 2026). In her work, she helps leaders understand what real joy actually is—defining it as the intersection of meaning at work, feeling that we matter in relationships, and purpose in what we do. Key Points • Burnout signs often overlooked • Why work addiction gets rewarded • The journey from stress to joy • The importance of self-care • Resetting work-life balance Best Quotes 03:29 - 03:42 • "It was awful, and it was, I often say that I burnt out in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way. It was the worst, one of the worst experiences of my life." 05:32 - 05:46 • "I started my own company thinking I was gonna be a, a, a modern CEOA burnout free CEO. And two years later, I found myself in the exact same spot. So that's when the real reckoning began, which is what is driving this." 05:46 - 05:50 • "This isn't about external forces, this is about me." 23:00 - 23:23 • "The problem was me. So I, I took myself wherever I went, and it was such a, a wild awakening and not in a great way. So I had been looking at this wellness retreat for years... So I just took it. I didn't even check with my husband because I knew that anything that made me less, like I was in that moment, he was gonna say, I'm in. I'm all in." 24:30 - 24:38 • "It wasn't an external demand that was causing me so much pain, it wasn't an external demand that was making me a workaholic." 25:26 - 25:31 • "The number one shame trigger at work is the fear of irrelevance."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Ashley Herd! Ashley Herd is a former Chief People Officer and General Counsel, leadership speaker, and podcast host who has trained more than 250,000 managers through LinkedIn Learning and live corporate programs. Throughout her career, she has helped professionals navigate leadership challenges with greater clarity and confidence, translating complex workplace dynamics into practical tools leaders can actually use. After leading HR and Legal teams at McKinsey, Yum! Brands, and Modern Luxury, Ashley founded Manager Method to bring better management training to organizations of all sizes. She is a top LinkedIn Learning instructor and co-host of the HR Besties podcast. As CEO of Manager Method, Ashley equips managers with proven frameworks that strengthen accountability, communication, and team performance—because better managers build better workplaces. Her forthcoming book, The Manager Method (Feb 10, 2026), delivers a simple, repeatable approach for real-world leadership moments—hiring, feedback, conflict, and leading through change—grounded in her signature Pause–Consider–Act framework. Key Points • Culture is shaped by direct managers. • High performers can face accidental punishment. • Leadership involves feedback, conflict, and change. • "Pause, consider, act" enhances management. • A 60-second reset makes tough conversations easier. Best Quotes 03:15 - 03:25 • "I say to people often, it's hard to have this company culture. There's often manager cultures. If you're gonna look at Glassdoor for example, I mean, I've done this at places I've worked, and I will look at Glassdoor and I will see comments." 04:43 - 05:00 • "Well, you know, what's, what's kind of funny to that point? Such a great point. And what I, what I find is the bigger an organization gets, the harder culture becomes at a, at a grander scale. The the, and to your point, the more micro it becomes, who is, who is directly responsible for you?" 07:58 - 08:10 • "I remember my first day of my corporate job or my first week I was, I was doing in sales, I did this before I went to law school. I was cold calling chief financial officers for the like fortune 1000 Chief financial officers." 18:21 - 18:36 • "Because one thing I say is, as a leader, something that's important to know is nobody on your team should feel like they have to share things about them, especially personal things. But too often people feel afraid to share the real parts of, of themselves and their lives outside of work." Learn more about Ashley's book "Manager Method", click here: https://www.managermethod.com/book

In this week's episode, I am joined by Tim Packer! Tim is a celebrated Canadian artist and former police detective who walked away from a stable career to pursue a lifelong creative calling. Since making that leap, he has built a thriving, multi-million-dollar art business—selling original works, self-publishing prints, and running a top-tier online art academy that has helped thousands of artists grow both creatively and professionally. Through the Tim Packer Art Academy and his upcoming book, You Can Sell Your Art, Tim teaches artists how to master not only the creative side of their craft, but also the business fundamentals required for long-term success. Passionate about demystifying the art world, he challenges the myth that success is reserved for the "naturally talented," breaking down what actually works, what doesn't, and how artists can build sustainable careers doing what they love. Key Points • Growth mindset unlocked art career success. • Talent grows; it's not just bestowed. • Overcome fear and step into uncertainty. • Your potential talent is virtually limitless. • Impactful art goes beyond "good enough." Best Quotes 03:46 - 03:53 • "And as soon as I kind of came across the idea of the growth mindset, I thought, first of all, I thought, I don't really believe this." 04:48 • "And then January of 2000, I quit my job, walked away from my pension, and started my life as a full-time artist." 06:30 - 06:47 • "The very first thing you have to change is your mindset and the idea that you are not limited by the skills, competencies, whatever you have now, that you can improve on anything and that your potential talent is really unlimited." 09:17 - 09:27 • "It takes courage because you have to be okay with the uncertainty that comes about. Because a lot of the times, the choices you're making, they're not the logical, safe choices." 10:02 - 10:09 • "I mean, for me, I was, I was making my best year ever. I made like $280,000 from the sale of my art." 11:26 - 11:36 • "You have to have the courage that things might fail, but you also need to be smart about taking risks where failure's not gonna take you out of the game." 19:44 - 19:49 • "Once you have enough money to live the life you're comfortable with, well more money is just zeros in your Bank account." 23:18 - 23:29 • "If the more people that love your work and love it to the degree they actually make poor choices financially when they shouldn't be buying your work and they actually spend money on it. 'Cause they just have to have it." 40:08 - 40:13 • "Frustration comes about when the, what happens in reality doesn't meet our expectations."

Baya Voce is a relationship repair expert who helps couples rebuild connection when communication has broken down and loneliness has taken hold. With a Master of Social Work from Columbia University and advanced training in Relational Life Therapy under Terry Real, she combines evidence-based therapeutic approaches with the clarity, practicality, and directness of coaching. In addition to her clinical and coaching work, Baya collaborates with Rick Doblin and MAPS, alongside Columbia University, on research exploring MDMA-assisted couples therapy and its potential to deepen relational connection. Her TEDx talk on loneliness—viewed more than five million times—highlights the often-unspoken emotional cost of disconnection in modern relationships. Based in Austin, Texas, Baya works with couples seeking reconnection, greater clarity, or even a respectful separation, grounded in her core belief that genuine repair is the most powerful antidote to loneliness. Key Points • Impact of phones on relationship intimacy • Translation of complaints to growth opportunities • Relational loneliness vs. solitary loneliness • Enlightened self-interest in partnerships • Shifting from "fixing" to self-evolving within conflict Best Quotes 17:34 - 17:42 • "What are the understanding, what are the relationship needs, which are gonna be very different than your individual preferences." 22:03 - 22:10 • "Maybe I wanna be more independent. I wanna feel actually like I can handle the tension of differentiation." 23:34 - 23:43 • "But how, how I look back on the giving is that I'm so all on all the time that as I've gotten older..." 48:46 - 48:50 • "When two people can come into couples therapy and be like, here's the thing that's really hard for me." 51:18 - 51:23 • "We have a culture where phones are a, are a, they're like a third pillar in our relationships."

Dr. Aaron Hartman, MD is a board-certified Family Medicine physician, an Institute for Functional Medicine Certified Practitioner (IFMCP), and the founder of Richmond Integrative & Functional Medicine (RIFM). A Virginia native, he completed his medical training at Virginia Commonwealth University and the Medical College of Virginia, finishing his Family Medicine residency at MCV. He later earned advanced credentials in Integrative, Holistic, and Functional Medicine through the American Board of Integrative and Holistic Medicine, the American Board of Physician Specialties, and the Institute for Functional Medicine. Dr. Hartman also served as a Major in the U.S. Air Force, holding leadership roles including Clinic Director and Medical Director, with assignments that included Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany. In addition to founding the Virginia Research Center, he has participated in numerous clinical trials—contributing to research published in The Lancet—and has served as an Assistant Clinical Professor at the VCU School of Medicine since 2011. He is the author of UnCurable, a deeply personal account of his adopted daughter Anna, who was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and given a bleak prognosis. Through her story, Dr. Hartman introduces what he describes as a "hidden revolution" in functional medicine, challenging conventional assumptions about what is possible in health and healing. Key Points • Healthcare's blind spots exposed • The impact of diet on health discussed • Personal stories of medical defiance • The role of self-advocacy in health • Importance of foundational health practices Best Quotes 03:52 - 04:00 • "You'll get referred to five specialists to get five different diagnoses, six different medications, three surgery recommendations, and leave, having no idea what's going on." 08:53 - 08:56 • "The experts don't know and they don't know what they don't know." 09:07 - 09:11 • "I call these blind spots. These are things that, that we think to be true though just aren't true." 20:00 - 20:06 • "My journey with my family was I'm this typical doctor, academic minded, you know, above average intelligence, hard worker." 24:45 - 24:52 • "The book, we talked about this, but my, my admonition is the people is don't accept the standard of care, don't accept status quo."

In this week's episode, I am joined by Anthony Abbagnano! Anthony is the founder of Alchemy of Breath, a globally recognized breathwork community that has helped thousands of people reclaim their power through the transformative practice of conscious breathing. His personal journey, shared in his book, details how he overcame profound challenges through breathwork and mindfulness, ultimately leading him to create a life rooted in purpose, balance, and service. A pioneer in the digital breathwork space, Anthony was the first to bring breathwork online. He serves as curator for online breathwork on the board of the Global Professional Breathwork Alliance (GPBA) and holds a faculty position with the Shift Network. His Breathe the World online breathwork sessions draw hundreds of participants each week and support a growing global community of more than 170,000 people. Anthony has spoken alongside leading voices in personal growth and wellness, including Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Bruce Lipton, Peter Levine, Alex Howard, Wim Hof, and Fleet Maull, further solidifying his role as a trusted guide in the global breathwork movement. Key Points • One breath studied equals a lifetime learned • Inner calm is attainable in outer chaos • Mastery vs. Mystery in life's journey • The transforming power of acknowledgment • Survival instincts can reside with success Best Quotes 02:31 - 02:50 • "I contracted an illness and I'd already left behind my work. I had a very successful company in Italy where I was working with architecture and had about 300 people working for me, restoring buildings and finding beautiful old buildings for English and American people." 03:07 - 03:17 • "So I spent time in Asia. I left the company to run on its own, had it kind of sorted and went to Asia." 08:07 - 08:16 • "And so I didn't know it was gonna be a breakthrough. I thought this was the end in all the forms it could possibly show itself." 39:12 - 39:26 • "We use control to tell you what to do, to tell each other better ways to criticize each other, to make people more like us, to, to, to feel better by pointing out someone else's problem problems." 50:10 - 50:16 • "So there's something about restoring choice that needs to happen for someone to get traction."

In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Sunita Sah! Sunita is a Cornell professor, former physician, and one of the world's leading experts on compliance and defiance. Dr. Sunita Sah is a national bestselling author, award-winning professor at Cornell University, and expert in organizational psychology. She is a former physician and management consultant whose research focuses on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American, among others. Her book, Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, explores how to reclaim agency and speak up when it matters. The paperback edition, How to Speak Up When It Matters, releases February 24, 2026. Key Takeaways Why we've misunderstood the word defy The hidden cost of always saying yes Compliance vs. true consent What "false defiance" looks like The five elements of a true yes or no How to teach kids (and ourselves) to say no without confrontation

Clifford Stephan is the founder of Booze Vacation, a health and wellness company created for high-performing men who want to elevate their lives and careers by leveraging the benefits of taking a strategic break from alcohol. He is also the founder of OneCompensation, a successful Bay Area compensation consulting firm that has helped Silicon Valley companies—including Google, LinkedIn, Kaiser Permanente, and Motorola Mobility—attract, engage, and retain top talent. In his mid-40s, Clifford realized that his regular, "semi-responsible" drinking was quietly undermining his health and long-term potential. He chose to take a year-long break from alcohol—what he called a "booze vacation." That decision reset both his body and his relationship with drinking, ultimately inspiring him to create Booze Vacation so other men could take a structured break, reclaim their health, and expand their professional capacity. Clifford holds a B.S. in Nutritional Science from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, has completed more than a dozen long-course triathlons, and is determined to "kick ass and take names" well into his 80s and beyond. Key Points • Booze breaks can upgrade your baseline • Wearables expose alcohol's impact on health • Breaks from alcohol can recalibrate cravings • Sleep, fitness, and mood improve sans alcohol • Life clarity and enhanced performance without alcohol • Clifford's Booze Vacation concept explained Best Quotes 01:45 - 01:58 • "Yeah, in short, scratching my own itch and yeah, I don't like the term cutting. It sounds kind of, you know, negative, harsh, we, we use in term taking an extended vacation from drinking." 02:54 - 03:03 • "I had, I had got sleep apnea, which was a pretty, pretty bad about that. And yeah, just wasn't feeling my best." 05:30 - 05:49 • "I think that when I started wearing the whoop in 2019, it was probably one of the most eye-opening things that I had done because I, I've worn it consecutively for many years now, and you can tell really quickly what alcohol does to your body." 07:58 - 08:06 • "It's a kind of a lifetime lifestyle experiment. And especially men of success. I think it's important that if you make it to the mountain top, you wanna stay there and enjoy it as long as possible." 10:41 - 10:51 • "You're gonna need more, it's gonna be harder on your aging body and you're gonna find yourself continually in lowered and lower states and, and, and kicking the crap outta yourself a lot faster."