When Hyper-Spirituality Threatens Your Marriage

From time to time, I see or work with a man on the verge of his wife filing for divorce, who responds by becoming hyper-spiritual. He proclaims that her actions and choices are due to either his wife falling away from the Lord, or demonic activity, or both.

In some cases, this is just an escalation of how he has been for a long time. Other times, the man becomes this way when he realises his wife is thinking of getting out.

I’m all for being spiritual, but hyper-spirituality is something else. The man starts gossiping about his wife in the name of seeking prayer. He may pray for his wife, but he also judges her. 

There are two problems.

First, these guys never show any grace for their wife. I’m sure they could tell you why her sins mean she doesn’t deserve grace, but that’s just justification. And it violates the message of the gospel. 

The second problem is these men are so focused on all the things she is doing wrong, they don’t look at what they are doing wrong. And usually when men go down this path, there is a lot of wrong treatment of their wife in their past. They think they have dealt with it and God has forgiven them, so they see it as a non issue. But even if he has changed, expecting his wife to forgive him and turn on a dime is silly.

If you see yourself in what I have described, please know your actions are driving your wife away. I’ve never seen this work out for a man, and I’ve seen it end marriages that might have been saved.

If you’re not giving grace and forgiveness at every turn, you are not treating your wife as Jesus would have you treat her.

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The post When Hyper-Spirituality Threatens Your Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.