The Fifth Column

* The one Jew she likes* The amateur crank historian* The cranks always end at…take a guess* Kmele isn’t interested in Ms. Macron’s dong* Show we draw some distinctions?* Congrats to the Buchananites* The weirdness of Gavin Newsom’s podcast* On Bannon* On Columbia, the first amendment, masks, and dangerous idiots* The Ukraine non-deal* And much, much more This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comI was very moved by friend & past guest Jeff Blehar’s Covid anniversary piece, so … I just read it out loud. And added related commentary for paying subscribers. Some links alluded to therein, in rough order of reference:* Reason Roundtable Covid look-back* Related Twitter thread* “The Great COVID Rupture: Three years after ‘15 days to slow the spread,’…

* A very long SOTU* Al Green meets Buju Banton, Tripadvisor objects* The most beautiful, terrifying word in the English language* The “deficit” you shouldn’t care about * The forgotten Foxconn boondoggle * The hopeless Democrats* Maybe look at, say, Dean Phillips and ignore the Squad* Asian finger cuffs* Two cheers for parliamentary democracy * Poor lil’ Marco * Who killed Gene Hackman’s dog? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comThere’s some discussion of parenting. A tiny bit about the Oscars. And a bunch about the triumph of conspiracy culture. But this is mostly a subscriber-only episode about the Zelensky debacle and the ongoing U.S. foreign policy realignment. So why bother with bullet points?’

* Trump’s maturity* Trump’s deal making* Trump and NATO * Trump vs. Europe * Trump and Taiwan* A price on Bolton’s head * Is he a neocon? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

* The traffickers of the Fifth Column * The genius of Bill Belichick * Those Boston boys aren’t so terrible after all* Nick v. Stewart* Democracy died in the light! * The WaPo freakout * The press pool freakout* No one believes in anything, part 387* The “Epstein files” will contain nothing of interest* A “Roman” salute that no one noticed* MSNBC is apparently racist* A live event in NYC! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* RIP Roberta* What’s the “woke right?” No idea.* MAGA Brooklyn* Reform Party 2000!* Nadia didn’t pay, so…* But does it vindicate the collusion narrative?* Eli Lake’s “Framed and Guilty”* The Great Negotiator* The rise of AfD…and the end of Europe?* Kmele and Kanye (“He’s a NAZI, Kmele, a NAZI…”) * Moynihan’s memory* Drinking with Team Uterus

* Matt vs. the Gremlins* He lasts about 20 minutes * Subscribe to the pod so he can stay at normal hotels that don’t use Compuserve* Two minutes of Kayne and the Yahud* Everything is a lie * Free speech king goes Russiagate * Trump’s Ukraine disgrace * Allies and Axis 2.0 * Here DOGEy DOGEy DOGEy * Misunderstanding democracy* The animals of Hamas * Inhumanity makes one inarticulate* 😡🐰🥚 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* If this plane crashes, it’ll just be ‘Steve Wozniak, Allen Iverson, and some other people’* Murder motel in Huntington Beach* Marvin Gaye's confession* A shot, a beer, and Paddington 3* Brexit, bananas, and robber outfits* Not their best. But sort of. * The New York Times’s dumb report from Europe* Does Vance have a point?* Ukraine negotiations without Ukraine* A bunch m…

So we took a few days off. We deserved it. Sort of. And after all, there were pilots to filmed, kids to be cared for, conferences to attend. Indeed, on Friday we gave a talk at a wonderful University of Florida conference on America’s love of bullshit. But we begged off from the proceedings for an hour to record an episode. Because we love you guys. And because we needed to discuss Pete Hegseth, beer bongs and Goldschlager luges, Elon’s weird kids, the future of DOGE, the future of Ukraine, Islamism, and Serena Williams. And a few other things besides… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

* The hockey plumber * A very brief return to tariffs* Let’s fight the drug war again! Yay!* Neocon Don wants to make Gaza great…for the first time* This is a very, very bad idea* Like…an extraordinarily bad idea* The 80-20 issue* Lia’s standup special * 60 Minutes in the docket* “Restoring freedom of speech” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWe asked ChatGPT to give us some titles for this episode. Turned out to be a pretty decent précis of the discussion…and the last one is particularly good: "Tariffs, TikTok, and Toe-Kneading Terror""Mary Poppins: Feminist Propaganda & Economic Illiteracy""Avocados vs. American Fish: The Dumbest Trade Debate Ever""Trump’s Tariff Tantrum: The Art of the Du…

* First class mud hobbit* At the 80th in Poland* An executive flurry * The interrogation of RFK * In defense of pharma* The interrogation of Kash Patel* Give us Greenland, Part 32* Overreach on DEI?* Frozen budgets * Getting the win* Is *this* the art of the deal?* Why were the JFK/RFK/MLK files held back?* And what will we find therein…* The most annoying Kennedy* Trusting Deepseek* Has the press learned its lesson? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Moynihan in Poland (Katya stole his mic)* Ronalda Reagana* Know a Nowa Huta* Onward to Auschwitz* Maybe don’t speak to the far-right German party?* Axis of anti-Woke* Unimpressed with nation-states* The Best Black History Month Report, EVER* Lia vs. MLK Part II* Rufo’s Sore "Winning"* Activism vs. Truth* Our “Blind spot” * Yellow/Blue Dress Explained* YOUR Outrage (Not Mine)* Ove…

* The Zombies reunion* Edibles and expressionism* A ghost on the knee* Who needs a desk when democracy’s dead?* Outage equality* Don’t ever integrate?* Segregation redux* Why Steve hates Elon* Those terrible oligarchs * Who needs the Constitution when we have executive orders?* The Jan 6 pardons: a disagreement * The art of the overcharge* Ross Ulbricht goes home This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* The sycophants are back!* Are we suckers for paying?* Gauleiter Musk* Day one executive orders* The newest, greatest Amazon Prime perk * New national bird: Jim Eagle* Pardon me? * Guess what? Leonard Peltier is not a good guy!* That Outside magazine article* Inauguration babes * Kmele’s letter to his daughter’s school * Not our oligarchs!* Ari Shaffir vs. Howie Mandel* Governme…

* Melanie: the eternal First Lady* A bad deal but…the only deal* The same situation, over and over* Joey B’s final babble* Ike, Elon, and the unacceptable “oligarchy”* The Ralph Lifshitz Award for Cultural Betrayal* F**k You, Surgeon General, says Matt Welch* The shittiest NYT story in recent memory* A shitty celebration of murder on Jimmy Kimmel* Pete H on the Hill * Women in combat is not a weird debate * RIP David Lynch* RIP Bob Uecker This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA rebroadcast of our most recent “Second Sunday” episode, during which paying subscribers can hop on a Zoom call, ask us questions, berate us, tell meandering stories, and be generically clever/hilarious/insane. On this episode, we talk to a number of people in Los Angeles about the ongoing conflagrations and the city government’s predictably feckless r…

* Black Bill Kristol* Nobody beats the Rizz* Stealing Greenland* Yet another horrible big city mayor * When you love Castro, you are obviously an incompetent moron* Forget it, Matt. It's Chinatown* More on the 🔥* Is big city governance killing progressivism?* Your lying eyes* Elon’s Nazis* Mark Zuckerberg and “winning” on free speech* The end of corporate walkout culture* January 6 pardons and pizzagate crazy person gunned down * Hobo stabs thug This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Lia the diva * The era of athlete actors * Moynihan correction: It was Bubba Smith in Police Academy. Dick Butkus was in Police *Story*.* I want to make fun of my boss* Awful political cartoons * More on progressive schools * Are you a hypocrite, MM?* Reflections on Jimmy Carter, DPRK fan * The neo-neocons?* The vibe shift and the sense of the heroic (says MAGA Matt)* Matt…

* No more Bobby* No resolutions* Pump it up: The bionic podcast host* New Year’s terror in NOLA and Vegas* The military connection that doesn’t matter* The advent of “car ramming”* In celebration of Chaim Sapir* Forgotten terror* When Charlie destroyed our faith in the media class* Jimmy Carter’s awful op-ed* Erasing Islamism* Revisiting Rushdie* Getting scammed by the “truth” people* Broken kneecap policing This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* An episode that takes a break from politics?* Stars, tardigrades, and microscopy * Race in space* Matt and Moyn watch “A Complete Unknown,” come to different conclusions* Phantom and 40mg* AI’s take on this section: “Listener emails prompt discussions on art, personal struggles, and growth during the holidays.”* Books for young men searching….* Can The Man Who Shot L…

* Pivot to Zoom * Rereading books* The ex-presidents * “It’s 1,547 pages of unreadable garbage. Every year, it’s like Christmas."* Chip the RHINOOOOOO* Elon’s Political Fantasy Camp!* Is Trump losing his power to threaten?* The end of AOC?* Before his own inevitable perp walk, Mayor Adams does a hot assassin perp walk* Insurance companies redux * Kmele is a bad drinker * Don Jr. trades up* Barron is everyone’s boyfriend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* If you think it’s expensive now, wait until it’s free* Unpersuasive persuasion * How race is like probiotic soda* Ends and means* "If one killing is justified, where do you draw the line—10,000? A million?"* Siouxsie and the Nazis / Bill Grundy* Tinder Trotskyists* More “memoirs about trauma and identity”* ‘Oh, they’re taxing us, let’s go murder people.’* 23andme and Zor…

* The Daniel Penny verdict* REinstitutionalization* When should the state involuntarily commit?* Remember, she was a very bad candidate * The great exhale* Joe and the Squad* A fake Portuguese guest* Barro blowback?* On the Substack revolution * The repulsive Luigi Mangioni* The failed Kaczynski* And much more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOne topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome to the Fifth Column One Hitter! In our inaugural episode, Matt and Moyn get pissed off about the hideous reaction from certain very online cretins to the awful murder of Uni…

* Little Moynihan’s pediatric cancer fundraiser can be found here! This might be the opposite of an incentive, but a random donor will be chosen for a personalized roast video from Moyn and his daughter…* The idiot winds (That “One More Cup of Coffee” live performance MM referenced) * Pete Hegseth replaced by Ronny D?* Ok, you asked for it…with new information, the lads return to the Hunter pardon* "Is he really doing something injurious?"* Preemptive pardons?* The uselessness of cable “news”* Addicted to privilege* Was Trump the great deregulator?* And whole lot more! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* The boys had just heard the Biden pardon news. So much they missed about the specifics…and this brilliant video had not yet been created. * Citizens of the Fifdom debate RFK* The professional Youtube debaters * Teens and true crime * JonBenet * How to interview your dad* A listener asks: Is Dan Crenshaw the worst?* Park Slope politics and the crotch Magen David * The M…

As a Thanksgiving treat, an unlocked Members Only episode featuring Moynihan in conversation with Dr. Alan Levinovitz, author of Natural: How Faith in Nature's Goodness Leads to Harmful Fads, Unjust Laws, and Flawed Science and The Gluten Lie: And Other Myths About What You Eat, about RFK’s view of public health, why you are fat, the myth of “natural,” and why so many people have stopped trusting “the science.”We won’t be unlocking any subscriber-only episodes for awhile so…subscribe! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Pete’s past* Friends with a murderer* Roofie vending machines* The worst cabinet pick?* Trans snakes that play golf* Damn dirty commies * The three things reds do well* A store called Store * That truck is still with Kamala * Little Baron’s soooooooootcase* One black woman’s quest* Biased bookstores* Axios: Trump’s liberal cabinet * ChatGPT is wrong about everything* Back to Cormac

An hour with Semafor founder Ben Smith discussing the sorry state of the media, followed by a Smith-free hour with the lads discussing, among other things, two very different people who nevertheless shared a very deep love of young people. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Kmele: Forever the HNIC* The Filet-O-Fish is Alaska pollock* A Swedish horror show* RFK at HHS* He forgot to mention this stuff…* Elon’s principles?* On Matt Gaetz and John Bolton* You know, we had a pretty good record on Covid…* Moulton v. a Salem Witch * A listener’s Irish-Catholic family is falling apart* That fake Netflix fight

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comMichael Moynihan sits down with Bard College professor Sean McMeekin to discuss his new book To Overthrow the World: The Rise and Fall and Rise of Communism, a Fifth-approved history of the global communist movement, from the ur-commie instincts of Plato to the sinister stupidities of Plekhanov. They also contemplate why so many smart people fall for ba…

We’ve promised this one for a very long time. But now that Trump is returning to the White House—the mercantilist maniac who recently said “the most beautiful word in the dictionary is ‘tariff’”—we finally followed through. By popular demand, we called upon Scott Lincicome, senior visiting lecturer at Duke University Law School and vice president of general economics and Cato's Herbert A. Stiefel Center for Trade Policy Studies, to answer all of your questions on protectionism, tariffs, and trade. Don’t care about such things!? Well, this episode is a double feature! After Scott’s masterclass on free trade, the lads stick around to discuss Trump’s appointments (ummm….this was a day before the Gaetz-Gabbard selections), “neocons,” and the WNBA. And for you subscribers: we will drop Moynihan’s conversation with Bard College historian Sean McMeekin in the next few days. For you non-subscribers…what are you waiting for?? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOur first post-election Second Sunday Zoom call! If you missed it, shame on you for choosing to spend time with your family or choosing not to pony up. But it’s all here. All three hours of it. Yes, it’s the “Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg” of election analysis. But to be clear, we also discuss Emperor Hirohito, Kentucky politics, Australians, New York …

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWelch and Moynihan are back in the studio, three days after the end of democracy, counting the days before they get the midnight knock from Trump’s NKVD. So what does one do? Engage in some anticipatory obedience, obviously. But can anything save them? Subscribe to find out!Note: Matt came across this amazing video only after recording this episode. So …

The Fifth did a bit of processing today with our Trump-supporting friend at her Connecticut studio. Hungover, exhausted, bedraggled, the lads then returned to the scene of last night’s Fifth-Free Press-Reason party and recorded this episode. They enjoyed it. And they suspect you will too.. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Kmele on his appearance in Thomas Chatterton Williams new Atlantic piece* The end of America!* If you don’t vote like me, you should be ashamed of yourself!* We’re not “heterodox”* On never talking policy* Authoritarianism in America* Boyz in the Hood redux* A whole lot of final election thoughts* A listener from Utah teaches us about TBCK syndrome* Kemi Badenoch on uneq…

* A Thomas Jefferson freak off* The tree of liberty…* “Election integrity”* What’s happening with those Pennsylvania ballots?* Editorial page endorsements are worthless * Why won’t you resign, lady?* A slaughter at MSG * These people have lost their minds* And Bezos is correct: they don’t trust you* The end of the NYT sports page actually said something important…* The bubble* An absurd boycott* What would a Kamala victory mean for Israel?* Finally a good Downfall meme… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* To promote his Substack conversation with Moynihan (live today at 5pm ET only on the Substack app!), Josh Szeps calls in from the car and talks Aussie stuff for 20 minutes. * Banning that lady from your country (“Does anything ride on this?") * Baghdad Bob on Australia* The Times and the truth* People who disappear* They are making me talk about this fascism shit* …

* How to be a Navy Seal* Losing an eye in Afghanistan* Dan can’t find his glasses / “I can’t see shit”* Lessons from Iraq and Afghanistan* A case study in intelligence failure and confirmation bias* On leaving the Taliban in power* Has Trump been good on foreign policy?* The Republican Party post-Trump* Tucker "is best friends with Hunter Biden!”* Why are you even in Congress?* On the mechanics of Congress* Maybe a hundred normal congressmen * What has Dan accomplished for Texas?* Is populism winning?* On banning TikTok This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Dave in the Hall * Dead in the garden * All the dictators * His kampf* McDonalds troofer * Can Trump be funny?* People don’t care about what we care about* A friend attacks* BHO was a great candidate* Wham-O, Sandusky, and the kids Freak Off* On “Neighborhood Bully”* Never say “grande”* What plagiarism counts

* Old wine, old bottles * Bret Baier v. Kamala * He finally asked Matt’s question. Or was it Kmele’s question?* On not answering questions* The wisdom of Bill Clinton* Back to the politics of the 90s * We always come back to it: late night is awful * Weed reparations * We always come back to it: fascism* Please come back, archive.org* Shutting down CBS?* Why the media being stupid is actually really important* Ted v Colin* Micklewaithe v. Trump This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA rebroadcast* Military propaganda for the kidz!* Jewish Columbus* A new history of communism * The brainworm burrows in again* The Italian * Obama’s code switch * There are meaningful differences between *these men** Polling problems* The brothers Menendez* Sarah, live from Folsom* Chomsky’s Cuba book* Are there still meaningful policy differences between the two major partie…

* Yes, Michael J. Fox actually actually has Parkinson’s * The MAGA hat incident* We got a journalist around here…he’s asking a lot of questions* Choppin’ it up with 60* Young morons embrace violence* German American Bund at MSG 2.0!* Bob “Silent Coup” Woodward * Look, he was actually unfairly treated* Schultz interviews Trump* It was Jeff Gerth, actually* A tale of two natural disasters* The natural disaster of a Kamala interview* Running out the clock: “Frankly, I love the American people”* Debate home run derby * Moynihan’s Utne Reader piece for 2008. Welch on Katrina* New media that we love. Or at least *like* This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* A very brief baseball convo. Relax.* Kid (and adult) anxiety* Don’t kill on snek* The science of Trump’s brain?* The worst of all the excuses* Oliver’s dad and the JJ Rule* The Big Dance on OpenLibrary, btw* Fatherhood songs* Phones, kids, rabbit holes* Pete Rose was the best…and the worst* On Kris Kristofferson* On Megyn and Moynihan

* The title is correct: everyone will hate something in this episode!* Moynihan is dying?* GPT as your GP* Choc and Chiclet * $$$ for TV* J.D. says Trump won in 2020* Jack Smith could have asked Moynihan * You hate him. But not enough.* A goomba union boss is going to choke America out* Rich and “working class”* Create jobs! End EZ-Pass!* Remembering the execrable Harry Bridges* Why is the government still mailing free Covid tests?* (MM fact-checks himself)* Lebanon and beyond This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comKmele’s voice is craggy; Moynihan is on the precipice of illness; Hasan Nasrallah has been delivered to a fiery “paradise,” last seen with his hand up own skirt, desperate to locate 70-odd sexually inexperienced coreligionists. Also: * Pat’s “thugocracy” * Hockey fights. * Johnny Turkey* Your legacy is one bad Twitter prediction* Ranking the least badly governed…

* The return of the Boss POC * The veep sits for an “interview”* That’s all she had to do…* Will Michael Cohen be assassinated?* Not if he escapes the country (and his family)!* The return of Tennessee* 10 days in an uncomplicated land* That conflict is just like all things I care about (except it’s nothing like the things I care about)* Disassociating yourself from the freaks and terror supporters* So we finally got to Diddy* Sure, he’s a monster! But the Mann Act?? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* When you think you’re right about everything * Alternate episode title: Candace Owens Discovers a New Fact Every Day—This Time, She Didn’t Blame the Jews* “The incentive for her is to be more mentally ill, because she seems to be doing quite well by losing her mind in public”* It will be like leaving a 70’s cult * Nude Africa has gone offline :(* Nobel laureates …