#182 Cath Lloyd Transitioning in Families

This month’s theme is all about representation in LGBTQIA+ History Month. This month’s theme is all about representation in LGBTQIA+ History Month. This week, we are talking about transitioning in families. To join me in doing this is the wonderful Cath Lloyd.

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About my guest

Cath is the author of ‘When Dad Became Joan’, about her journey starting in 1987, when her dad made the shocking confession that he wished to become a woman. It’s her story of how, for many years, she fought against her dad’s gender reassignment.

In the book, Cath opens her heart to show the conflicts she finally managed to conquer.  Through the years of emotional, conflicting, and tormenting thought processes, Cath wondered if life would ever feel normal again.  She is an expert in supporting those struggling to release the pain of loss and flourish through change.

She says we all have a story about coming to terms with change, whether this is transgender reassignment, separation, loss, illness, disability, or living through another trauma. As we live through our story we do the best we can with the strategies we have at our disposal. Sometimes these are not enough and we have to search long and hard to find alternatives.

Cath was an adult education teacher working in a male prison, there she learned how to see the other side of the story. To see the exception to the rule, that life isn’t always clear cut. Life is constantly changing sometimes for the better and at other times there needs to be a period of adjustment.

We have to learn how to adjust and start living a new normal. In 2017 Cath’s son broke his neck and is now tetraplegic meaning that he only has movement from his shoulders upwards. What I learned from my long bereavement cycle of change and loss for her Dad really helped her manage her thoughts and feelings around the drastic lifestyle change for my son and we as a family had to adjust to.

The strategies I ultimately used, I teach today to help families and those living with the bereavement cycle of change and loss so they can come out the other side smiling and with warmth in their hearts.

In today’s show

• About my TEDx talk - The Connection between Culture, Race and Mental Health. [02:43]
• What Cath is working on right now [03:14]
• Her experience writing her book - when dad became Joan. [04:11]
• What workplaces can do to support people whose parents may be transitioning. [21:05]
• Her top 3 tips for looking after her mental health [25:34]

Quotes

• Dogs get you out. They get you out in the fresh air, and out exercising.
• I spent a lot of time learning how to manage me.
• Workplaces have to make it so that most people are confident to make their transitioning known.
• I was so stressed that I suddenly had to kick-start deep breathing exercises.
• There were times of desperation, when my son had this accident, and my heart was so emotionally broken by what had happened, that I did consider self-harm.

Resources

• Check out my TEDx talk: The Connection between Culture, Race and Mental Health
• When dad became Joan
• Cath's website,
• Join my Mailing List and receive my free e-Book: bit.ly/MHLMEBK21

Work with me

Have a look at my online work-life balance course on Thinkific. You can access it here: http://bit.ly/DMMHPONC

One hour focused Sessions £150 1-2-1

Power Hour Sessions for Organisations

Complete the form to discuss your training needs: https://forms.gle/hgnYtmTu33Zeem489

Check out my FAQs here: http://diverseminds.co.uk/solutions/coaching/

You can learn more about the coaching I do to support your wellbeing here. 

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Remember to tune in next week, where I’ll bring you more insights on mental health and inclusion.