The Dirtbag Diaries

Disembodied footsteps, screams in the dark, hooded figures: our tenth annual Tales of Terror might have you questioning who -- or what -- else shares the trail with you at night. Ryan Cronin, Natalie Rooker, and Bryce Williams bring us their stories today -- get ready, you might need a friendly hand to hold. Happy Halloween!

“When I think about it, I'm not happy because I got to the top of some point on the planet,” says Steve Swenson. “I'm happy because of all the things we had to do to get there.” In the summer of 2019, Steve and his climbing partners, Graham Zimmerman, Chris Wright, and Mark Richey, made a first ascent of Link Sar, a 7,041 meter peak in the Karakorum. Steve has been climbing for 50 years and has broken a different kind of trail that younger climbers like Graham can follow.

"The land doesn't belong to me, it doesn’t belong to any of us,” says Joshua Tree resident Rand Abbott. “We’re guests here on this earth. It's my responsibility to make sure that my daughter's children's children get to see what Joshua Tree is really like not just from a video or from a book.” Joshua Tree National Park feels like an extension of Rand’s backyard-- - a place where he can climb, watch wildlife or find solace through big changes in his life. When a partial shutdown of the US government in December 2018 left J-Tree open but unmonitored, Rand became a voice of reason to take care of a place he cherishes.

"A lot of folks like a loop trail or a point-to-point run, but I find something really magical about a good out-and-back. On the way out, I feel one way. Then I turn around and run the same steps back, but I feel different,” writes Anya Miller. When Anya learned that her stepdad had passed away, she immediately headed to her favorite Colorado trail in the Indian Peaks Wilderness to start moving through the overwhelming grief that she felt.

Say the word bike, and words like, fun, freedom, fast, come to mind. But does a tandem bike double the fun or divide the freedom? One thing seems certain, whether you’re headed to collaboration or catastrophe, you’ll get there quicker on a tandem. From adventures with loved ones to cycling with strangers, we bring you five stories of the mythical unicorns of the bicycle community and fates linked by a bike frame and chain. Tandemonium!

Leah Breen had always been taught to embrace failure. You can't win every mountain bike race, or make it to the top of every pitch. Learn from it, and keep going. But when she felt her partner's climbing rope careen through her hands over a cliff, she realized in an instant that the consequences of her failure could be much larger than individual defeat. Are there some failures you can’t embrace?

When Steve Casimiro moved across the country to write for Powder magazine in the 1980’s, he wasn’t sure his work was going to matter. But after 30 years living and breathing outdoor publication, and starting his own magazine, Steve reflects on the importance of storytelling in our culture.

Boulder, Utah. Population 250. Sitting in the heart of Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, this small town of ranchers and settled-down dirtbags prides itself on staying out of the spotlight. It’s the right amount of quiet here. The ranchers ranch. A few small businesses cater to hikers and wanderers. Visitors come and go. Boulder was thrust into the spotlight in 1996 when President Clinton declared the monument. And in 2017, Boulder again found itself at the center of the debate when President Trump issued an order to cut the size of the monument by nearly half. For this installment of Endangered Spaces, we traveled to Boulder to capture a snapshot of a community thrust into a fight they did not choose. A fight they may have little influence over. And a fight about how to protect public lands and who decides. The outcome of that fight will have lasting implications not just for Boulder, but to all communities who rely on public lands. For a population of 250, Boulder had a lot to say.

“We biked through wind, rain, and snow. If lightning struck, we kept going. We only stopped if it got too close. We outran tornadoes in Oklahoma. We waited out a storm in an old horse barn in Montana, huddled like penguins, our bikes cast carelessly aside in the mud,” writes John Flynn. After John lost his mom to cancer, he biked with a group of friends from Texas to Alaska to try to find her again-- in the mountains, the rivers, and the solitude of the open road.

“I’ve spent my entire life going on adventures, but I wasn’t ever really the creator of these adventures,” says Kathy Holcombe. “My role is as the dream maker. And, I have a lot of pride in that role.” Exist in a relationship long enough and we fall into roles. Life is busy. It doesn’t make sense to double up on work. Cultural gender dynamics come into play. One partner excels at certain things. But what happens when we step out of our role? In the fall of 2017, Kathy Holcombe stepped out of her role in the family, and embarked on a year of adventures that challenged her in ways she never expected, and profoundly changed her view of herself.

Last spring, Andy and Katherine Wyatt set up basecamp on the Powell Glacier in Alaska’s Chugach Mountains.After years of individual rad mountain accomplishments in climbing and skiing, they realized they’d never taken a large trip together. The trip started perfectly and then it all went wrong. At full volume, the power of the natural world is terrifying and the limitations of our physical forms so evident. Survival stories are powerful. To the listener, they pose a question. What would you do? Would you make it? What would run through your mind? It’s all theoretical — until it’s not.

Carmen Kuntz has lived a dirtbag life for over a decade. She’s moved every year since graduating high school, and has explored some of the world’s most remote places in her kayak and hiking boots. But with all the moving around, Carmen began to wonder if she was missing out on something. Specifically, a home — and the connections to the community and landscape that come with it. Does home have to be a place, or can it be a feeling?

After more than 50 years of bipartisan support, Congress failed to re-authorize the Land Water Conservation Fund (LWCF) in the fall of 2018. LWCF grants have protected over 2.3M acres of natural areas and cultural heritage sites and provided recreational opportunities to all Americans across the 50 states. With more than $22 billion on the table, the team at Outdoor Alliance, comprised of avid kayakers, climbers and all-around (reformed) dirtbags, are faced with the daunting task of convincing Congress to reauthorize the funding amidst a contentious political climate.

In this week’s double-feature episode, Amie Begg and Jessica Kelley head out solo into the Himalayan and Alaskan wildernesses--on their bikes. Through the challenges they face--from negative 20 degree temperatures to near-collisions with moose--both women find new perspective on what it means to adventure alone.

Mitch Breton grew up as as devout member of the Catholic Church. He ascended the religious ranks through his childhood, and assumed that one day he would become a priest. Then, he found whitewater paddling. A summer of raft guiding rerouted Mitch’s spiritual journey -- from one that had existed within four walls and an altar, to one that flowed with the current of the Kennebec River.

Jeanie Adamson, a 50-something Mom, decided to switch things up last year for spring break. When she told her son, Luke, she wanted to ski at every resort between Dallas and Lake Tahoe, he offered up Sherrod, his newly-renovated 1990 Dodge Ram van for the job. The two of them threw in their skis, buckled up, and embarked on what would become a memorable mother-son trip.

There is no clear way to cope with death and grief. Moving forward is often heartbreaking, baffling, and uncertain. So, how do we best honor those we’ve lost? When he was 12-years-old, Navy Seal and backcountry snowboarder Josh Jespersen tragically lost his father. Confused and angry, Josh drifted in school and got into legal trouble. He joined the Navy Seals, where death was a constant. Josh would drink to celebrate the life of his fallen friends, but this led to more legal trouble, more confusion, more anger. Ultimately, Josh realized that the best way to honor the dead was to embark on an outdoor adventure that would amplify their memory. He realized he had to live for those he had lost.

After a childhood of moving from one suburban neighborhood to the next, Jonathon Stalls felt starved for connection--to anything or anyone. In a quest to find community, he set out with nothing but his own two feet to carry him from Delaware to California. The awkward, exhilarating, and at times terrifying challenges he faced over the next 8 months helped him tear down the walls around his long-standing isolation.

After falling in love with John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, Charlie Turnbull and Leon Morton set out to recreate the 1,615-mile journey described in the novel – but on bikes. In July. With camera gear and a few buddies in tow, they followed historic Route 66 from Oklahoma to Southern California. And along the way, they found a place that really brought Steinbeck’s book home.

“For better or for worse, ideas are infectious. They become our goals, and the struggle to realize them becomes memory, the story of our lives,” says Fitz Cahall. When Brian O’Dell decided it was time to stop driving his Honda Civic, he didn’t list in on Craigslist. Instead, he posted in to outdoor forums in the PNW. The cost? Free, but there was one catch. This year, we hear how Brian’s idea for engaging with his community changed another person’s life, and what goals contributors, staff, and community at the Dirtbag Diaries have for 2019. Our ideas are what make us keep growing as individuals--and as a community. Happy New Year!

Chris Kalman, Austin Siadak and Miranda Oakley got to go on what should have been a climber’s dream trip--fully funded first ascents of granite big walls in the Coast Range of British Columbia, helicopter transport in and out, and good team dynamics. But, by the end, Chris realized that this dream trip left him feeling a little hollow and he needed to redefine how he pursues meaningful adventures.

"To work in tourism is to witness the human comedy," says Joe Aultman-Moore. "Every guide has stories that start with, "You'll never believe this...'. Nowhere, it seems, do people go further from the familiar that on cruises to Alaska." Working as a seasonal guide at a remote camp in rural Alaska with ten other men, Joe Aultman-Moore figured it would take nothing less than a request to Santa and his team of flying reindeer to meet a girl. Can Christmas wishes still come true?

Drew Hamilton makes a living by taking people out into the remote Alaskan wilderness to hang out with brown bears. These days, he does it, in large part, as a unique way to protect this magnificent landscape from the proposed Pebble Mine. For the fifth installment of our Endangered Spaces series, we travel to the mainland of southern Alaska to meet Drew and the bears and to better understand the threats to this landscape.

What if you could hit pause on life? This last summer, Fitz did, and biked the 670-mile-long Oregon Timber Trail. A groove and a rut look different when perched on the saddle day after day.

Our ninth annual Tales of Terror brings you three stories that will send shivers down your spine. From ghost-like figures walking silently through the snow, to shadows lurking in a backcountry hut and canyon, these stories will keep you peering over your shoulder.

For the past five years, Janelle Kaz has traveled on her motorcycle fighting against the worldwide problem of wildlife trafficking. Travel along, as she follows jungle roads in Colombia into the incredible indigenous culture of the Kogi.

“I have really good reason to believe that if I hadn’t have been walking down the strip and found that 72-foot tower to climb, that I would be dead or in prison. I have no doubts about that,” says Juan Rodriguez. Juan is an American citizen, an immigrant and a climber. Today, we follow Juan’s journey from Mexico to climbing shop owner, through illegal border crossings and to the first rock wall he ever climbed on the Las Vegas strip--a chance encounter that altered the trajectory of his life.

“I was certain I was paralyzed. My legs were totally limp, I was hanging upside down and the only thing stopping me from falling 160-feet headfirst into the talus below, was this rope that was wrapped around my foot,” remembers Craig Gorder. In November, 2016, Craig took a fall climbing that injured him badly, and dramatically altered the course of his life. We follow Craig through the first year of his recovery--the day to day questions and decisions, setbacks and victories, mini-crises and mini-epiphanies that really make up the recovery process.

“I have a pretty young grandfather, but he was starting to get old and knew he had one or two more big expeditions in him,” says Ethan Roebuck. “He wanted to put together a big trip, because he’s getting older, but also because I’m getting older. When Ethan’s grandfather proposed that they go on a tandem kayaking expedition along the Canadian coast the summer before Ethan’s senior year of high school, Ethan was onboard. Producer Cordelia Zars brings you the story of a wild adventure, a passing of the torch, and the special bond that emerges and evades the constraints of words.

“Any time I ski a steep line, I’ve done it hundreds of times, and still every time for me there is that moment of fear on top, where I am like, ‘Do I really want to do this?’,” says Jason Hummel. “But, also, anytime you do anything scary, it really ties you down to the moment, the instant, to that second, and all that matters is the next turn.” Just as Jason had started to feel like he knew what his home mountains had to offer, he stumbled into this idea that made him reconsider how much he still had to explore. Today, we bring you Jason’s journey to ski all of the glaciers in Washington--a story about how sometimes, by placing a constraint on adventure, we can deepen our relationships with the places we consider most familiar.

For most of his adult life, Cam Fenton has fought against climate change--and particularly to protect the Arctic. “The funny thing was, for most of that time, I couldn’t tell you why,” says Cam. He traveled to the Arctic hoping for revelations about climate change and renewed purpose to fight the good fight. He did walk away with a revelation--just a very different one than he expected.

Expedition kayakers Ben Stookesberry and Chris Korbulic have what is perhaps the longest running, most successful partnerships in outdoor adventure, but, in April 2017, on an expedition to the Colombian Amazon, the team dynamics grew so strained that being held hostage by an armed rebel group didn’t seem like the worst thing that could have happened. In Part II, we’ll get into the history of this epic partnership, what went so wrong, and what happens moving forward.

After a breakup and a drinking habit sent John Gray in a downward spiral, he decided that he needed something radical to shake him out of his "life avoidance stupor." So, he signed up for a semester-long Outward Bound course that would take hime from the Appalachians to the Everglades to Costa Rica-- and change his outlook in a lasting way.

Expedition kayakers Ben Stookesberry and Chris Korbulic have what is perhaps the longest running, most successful partnerships in outdoor adventure, but, in April 2017, on an expedition to the Colombian Amazon, the team dynamics grew so strained that being held hostage by an armed rebel group didn’t seem like the worst thing that could have happened. In Part I, we’ll follow Ben and Chris down Colombia’s remote Apaporis River.

Today, we bring you the first episode of Duct Tape Then Beer's new show, "Safety Third." Big wall climber and former wingsuit flyer Chris McNamara believes risky outdoor pursuits are essential. But, what happens when something vital has the potential to kill you? You find different ways to take risks.

“In the early stages of my pregnancy, I was intrigued and ready for the changes that would take place,” says Chelsey Magness. “As an athlete, I expected body image and performance challenges. I expected exhaustion. I expected attachment issues to my newborn twins. I never expected what was actually to come.” Chelsey and her husband Jason have built unique lives as professional adventure racers and partner acrobatics and slacklining instructors--among other things. When unimaginable tragedy struck their family, they came up with a unique way to move through their grief.

There are a lot of serious problems in this world, but the solutions don’t always have to be serious. Fly-fisherman and runner Andrew Todd channeled his concern for Colorado’s native trout and the watersheds that support them into the creation of a joyful, irreverent, event: The Flyathlon.

Chronic depression and the deaths of a few friends launched Tyler Dunning on a mission to visit all of the National Parks. He constructed an identity around the project, started writing a book and making a short film about his journey. But part way through his project, he lost interest, and was again left with the question, ‘Now what’?

“I was working this corporate job, and, every day, I looked out the window and thought, ‘Man, those mountains are so beautiful, I wish I was out there’,” remembers Perry Cohen. Growing up, Perry was an outdoorsy kid--hiking and cross-country skiing in rural New Hampshire. He was thrilled when, as a teenager, he got to sign up for an Outward Bound course. But the experience left him disappointed. For the first time, he didn’t click with the group. Perry reconnected strongly with the outdoors in his late thirties, as he transitioned from female to male. Being outside helped Perry have an appreciation for a body that he had felt alienated from. Looking out that window, he realized that he wanted to help other transgender folks get outside. “I thought there must be some queer outdoor organization leading trips that I could go work for, but I didn’t find one. So, I got despondent for about twenty-four hours, and then I thought to myself, ‘I’ve led a corporate HR department, I understand how to run a business, maybe I should just start one’. And so I did.”

Carmen Kuntz had just started to break into the world of competitive, freestyle whitewater kayaking when she sustained a mild traumatic brain injury. For the past four years, she has had to confront a new kind of challenge: learning to balance the risk of re-injuring her head and the risk of losing who she is.

“For me, it was a way to stay connected—literally: tied to my free-range daughter by a length of 10-millimeter climbing rope, and connected to my own dream of being an adventurer,” says David Altschul. “And that was how I found myself on a ledge, high above the Columbia River, in the dark.” For the past decade, David has told the story of the infamous “Escape From Beacon Rock”–a failed attempt to climb a basalt monolith with his daughter, our producer, Jen. At age 72, it dawned on him that, rather than continue to tell the story of the failed climb, he could connect with his daughter by actually climbing Beacon Rock, and doing it this time as a ‘real’ climber.

“Here I was, a professional wilderness instructor with no food or water, a sopping wet tent and wetter sleeping bag, no way to banish the chills or signal that I needed help,” says Emma Walker. “For the first time in my career, I began to think I might need a rescue.” Emma’s husband Bix has also worked for years as an outdoor guide and educator. So, when the two of them set out on an overnight backpacking trip to a beach on Hawaii’s big island, they were unconcerned--maybe a little too unconcerned. Emma Walker and her husband, Bix, have both worked for years as wilderness instructors, so when the two of them set out on an overnight backpacking trip to a beach on Hawaii's big island, they were unconcerned. Maybe a little too unconcerned.

"The notion that there's one dream that we're all after and agreed upon ways in which you can verify that you are indeed living that dream drives me crazy," says Forest McBrian. "Everyone's dream is a little bit different. In May of 2017, Forest and Trevor Kostanich spent a month traversing the North Cascades from Snoqualmie Pass to the Canadian Border (well, almost) in a style that broke all the rules of an epic mountaineering expedition--in the best way possible.

"It's like being caught in a spiderweb. You'll find yourself pushing with every part of your body, and no part of your body will be able to move. You're totally trapped by--held by plants," says Elsa Sebastian. She bushwhacked through the overgrown clearcuts of Southeast Alaska in a creative effort to defend the remaining old growth on her home island, Prince of Wales, from a proposed bill that would transfer up to 2-million acres of the Tongass National Forest to the State of Alaska. For the fourth installment of our Endangered Spaces series, we follow Elsa and her companions as they trek across the island to see for themselves what's been lost and what remains to be saved.

"I think the jack of all trades gets a bum rap. The jack is the master of none, but I think the jack probably has a lot of fun," says Fitz Cahall. We open our annual Year of Big Ideas with an ode to “mediocrity” from Fitz, then turn, as always, to our community for inspiration for the coming year.

Some people grow upward and outward; some people root down. For Fitz Cahall, what growth means has changed over time.

Cordelia Zars shares stories of her family's unconventional adventures--like dragged a 90-lb keyboard 10-miles through the snow on a 9-degree Colorado evening--and she reflects on how those excursions shaped her and her siblings.

Katie Wallace learns to see family holidays as a privilege rather than an obligation.

"It's like the Iditarod with a chance of drowning," says Jake Beatty, one of the organizers of the Race to Alaska. What's crazier than trying to race from WA to AK on a boat without a motor? Karl Kruger's decision to enter the race on a SUP.

For our eighth annual Tales of Terror episode, we have five stories that span the range of things to fear--from angry men with shotguns, to bears and mountain lions, to things that really don't have any explanation in the world of science.