The Descent

After a LONG break we're back! Goal 3 is an incredible example of a sequel that completely sours its prior films. Come with us as we dissect all three films to discover how this went wrong and why it's one of the most hated films on our list. over the first two films we follow the tale of Santiago Muñez, a young and talented illegal immigrant whose ball handling skills take him to the top of the world. But the third film takes an insane and mind numbing turn, hurtling all previous plot points out the window in favor of two drunk british boys on a mad pussy hunt across europe. Prepare for the worst.

The dice have spoken, sending us off our predetermined path to discuss the Yin and Yang of 1987 horror - Plutonium Baby and Hellraiser. One film is a legend of goopy horror, setting the stage and high water mark for production ----- the other, is Plutonium Baby... a film shot on $3 and a wish. Come with Joel and Erik as they cry laugh through yet another strange combination episode!

What can we even say about The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?! To some it's a garish torture for the senses, to others it's an experiment in film making so revolutionary it may never be repeated. From Robert Rodriguez, indie extraordinaire and grindhouse mastermind, a film straight from the dreams of his own 7 year old son - maddeningly low quality CG, absurd dream logic and a story progression only a child can follow - Sharkboy and Lavagirl is one of the strangest movies we've seen, and possibly, one of our favorites!

In 1978, Joe Dante (Gremlins, Gremlins 2) brought us the first in a string of Piranha films. Starting as a fun horror/comedy riding on the back of the Jaws craze, the spirit was somehow lost as the series continued from Piranha 2: The Spawning (1982) to Piranha 3D (2010) to the last and likely final installment Piranha 3DD (2012). Swimming in a sea of wasted potential, Piranha 3DD exists as a boner-comedy conundrum, boasting a barely feature length - the majority of which is more boner than comedy - the film somehow pulls off a surprisingly hilarious and gory finish, worthy of any lowbrow schlock-lovers time!

Psychic cyborg stripper twins VS the Blue Death! Otherwise known as I Know Who Killed Me... a notorious film from 2007 starring a young and rebellious Lindsay Lohan. Known to some as one of the worst movies ever made, but to others a skillful modern take on the classic 70's italian Giallo genre - I Know Who Killed Me is a breath of fresh air for us! Prepare for an unpredictably gory, strangely funny, and absurdly edited flop-turned-masterpiece!

intimacy = into me, I see We're back on our bullshit, Descendants... 95 on our list is the Mike Myers classic, The Love Guru. Prepared as the next big hit and first in a potential multi-film series, The Love Guru was a long incubated Mike Myers mind baby - that unfortunately should never have been born. Prepare to cringe your way through a well crafted joke with a punchline as lame as a mop drenched in piss.

It’s our first super sPeCiAl episode! Just in time for spooky season, the will-of-the-dice brought us our strangest episode yet - a comparison between The Zookeeper (2011) and The Church (1989). These two seemingly diametrically opposed films, through the dissection and brilliance of a Philosophy Major (Joel) and an Art School grad (Erik) - actually share common themes of religion, justice, revenge and sin. Come with us as we lose our minds together - oh, and happy halloween.

He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself; and if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you. - Friedrich Nietzsche Well descendants, the project is finally getting rough. Prepare yourself for The Hungover Games, the worst film that could possibly birth from the talentless mind of Jamie Kennedy. The Hungover Games is an attempt at spoofing the mediocrity of hollywood (a good idea) but in it's fight, it became the worst of what it set out to destroy. Joel and Erik attempt to gaze into this abyss and maintain their sanity as we descend into the worst movie we've ever seen...

So it begins... Meet Uwe Boll - one of the most reviled directors in modern history, and possibly this podcast's first returning villain. Step into the fantasy realm of Dungeon Siege, a computer game that really never needed to make it to the silver screen. Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta and John Rhys Davies star in this LOTR "inspired" medieval epic that will have you on the edge of your seat and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

Chipcheerio! Join us as we discuss the tragic tale of The Avengers (1998)... a film that has no right to be as bloody awful as it is. A star-studded cast, a massive budget, based on a wildly successful TV show and a directer who had made successful movies in the past - somehow all were not enough to save this doomed project. Listen in as Joel and Erik verbally stamp out whatever life is left in this movie - TEA ANYONE?!

In part two the Flintstones head for Rock Vegas as the dastardly Chip Rockefeller and sex-addicted Mick Jagged throw a wrench (bone) into the budding romances of our heroes. Can love prevail against greed, the watermelon mafia, and incarceration?! Tune in and find out as this absolute mess slides into an attempted conclusion.

#99 on our descent takes us all the way to bedrock, where we get to know prehistory's favorite family - before they were a family. That's right, the prequel no one asked for, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. Joel and Erik dissect this film's many strange choices, it's atrocious casting, and argue about whether it deserves to be rated so poorly.

Part 2 of our inaugural episode, Stan Helsing. Listen in as we discover how this already bad film attempts to crawl its way to its truly awful conclusion, and see if it somehow passes the Blartchdel Test.

Join us in our inaugural episode of The Descent as we take on an absolute dumper of the genre-spoof fad, Stan Helsing. In part one you'll hear about the director, Bo Zenga (aka BAZINGA), and how his horrendous vision was put so carelessly to film. Join as we try to figure out if this is truly a bad movie, or perhaps, a secretly genius piece of genre-spoof satire - the genre-spoof-spoof!