Ep 12: Screwing Up and Showing Up: Mike Knittel on Sobriety, Redemption, and Fatherhood
The Dad Manual · Tony Cooper
Audio is streamed directly from the publisher (media.transistor.fm) as published in their RSS feed. Play Podcasts does not host this file. Rights-holders can request removal through the copyright & takedown page.
Show Notes
What happens when a dad hits rock bottom — and chooses to rebuild himself for his kids?
Mike Knittel has lived through addiction, CPS intervention, family breakdown, and a long road to sobriety — and he's come out the other side as a father his kids actually call when they need help. In this raw and honest conversation, Mike shares the moments that broke him, the choices that rebuilt him, and the lessons every dad can take away regardless of where they are in their journey.
Key Takeaways:
- Sobriety fundamentally changed Mike's ability to be present — and presence matters more than perfection
- Kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for, but genuine apologies require open hands, not closed fists
- Self-forgiveness is the hardest work of all — and the most necessary
- Your kids don't need a perfect father. They need a real one
- Modelling vulnerability teaches your children it's safe to be vulnerable too
- Nature vs. nurture: Mike lands firmly on the side of nurture — how you show up matters
- The four pillars that supported Mike's recovery: community, faith, books, and radical honesty
- Parenting from anger never works — learning to step away is a skill worth developing
- The goal isn't just that your kids survive your parenting — it's that they choose to call you when they're hurting
- Sit on the floor. Play make-believe. Never underestimate imagination and Nerf guns.
This is one of those conversations that will stick with you — whether you're a new dad podcast listener discovering this show for the first time or a veteran father still doing the inner work.
If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to [email protected].
Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/
- (00:00) - Introduction & episode preview
- (00:37) - Meet Mike Knittel
- (00:49) - Mike's blended family & grandkids
- (01:46) - Nature vs. nurture — where Mike stands
- (03:15) - Sobriety and its impact on fatherhood
- (05:30) - Victimhood, resentment & forgiving his parents
- (07:09) - What life looked like before sobriety
- (08:57) - CPS, heroin, and hitting rock bottom
- (11:25) - How Mike began repairing with his kids
- (13:30) - The open-hand apology with his daughter Madison
- (16:13) - Control, anger, and character defects in parenting
- (18:49) - Self-forgiveness: the hardest and most necessary work
- (23:14) - The books that changed his perspective
- (25:55) - Reconnecting to the inner child through grandkids
- (26:24) - What shaped Mike's ideas about fatherhood growing up
- (28:16) - The birth of his firstborn, Gabe
- (32:07) - Raising his boys as a single dad with his brother
- (34:46) - The parenting moment that changed everything with his son
- (38:26) - Cassie's influence and open communication as a skill
- (41:20) - Memorable screw-ups and what he learned
- (43:51) - Parenting from anger — and learning not to
- (47:14) - What kids absorb when you're not trying to teach them
- (49:19) - Hopes for his adult children
- (51:27) - What Mike wants his kids to remember
- (52:13) - Advice for new dads: sit on the floor, bring the Nerf guns
- (54:36) - Final words and wrap-up