The Crate and Crowbar

Chris, Tom S and Marsh pore over the Final Hours of Half-Life: Alyx, soar over the Hyper Scape, chew over Rocket Arena, simply cannot get over Call of Duty: Warzone, and gush over, er, chess. “Not a new game but a good one.” You heard it here first. Geoff Keighley’s illuminating and partially accurate docu-app: [...]

Alex, Rich McC and Marsh attempt to master the remastered Red Alert, get decked online in WWII-themed collectable card game KARDS and prepare to try self-professed Dark Souls homage Mortal Shell. Valorant. Skins. Expensive. Boring. Do better, News. The Ubisoft longboat is very leaky: the latest vid of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. You can play Command [...]

Pip and Chris return for another deep dive (!) into the state of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. We delve into the diving discourse, discuss the various quandaries of lategame life, and assemble our wishlists for the future of the game. You can find this bonus episode on YouTube, and our intro music is, as ever, [...]

Graham, Tom F and Chris aim their laser-like takes to dismantle the zen pleasures of Hardspace: Shipbreaker, the tawdry traumas of The Last of Us Part II, the chaotic bird-butt coop of KeyWe and the narrative clunk of Cloudpunk. Do a physics on men, shelves and concrete, in this throwback shooter: Trepang2. Do a physics [...]

Alex, Tom S and Marsh swelter and sweat through a discussion of ecstatic automation in Satisfactory, the didactic bleakness of The Last of Us Part II, the long view of Humankind and dire straits in Desperados III. Cherish your mucky factory in Satisfactory. The Last of Us Part II sounds unplayably horrible to me, but [...]

Chris, Alex and Marsh ponder penguin chicanery, Destiny’s destiny, dialogue-by-card-deck in Signs of the Sojourner, conversation-as-combat in Griftlands, redeem Mass Effect: Andromeda, resist scratching tingles and rejoice at Desperados III. What is shape? Shape is crime. What is going on with Aiball / Penguin Cretins? Gamesindustry.biz have talked about it here. A Monster’s Expedition – [...]

Alex, Tom F and Graham muse on the eternal E3 news, marvel at itchio’s BLM bundle, lament pyromantic stealth game Wildfire, adore deck-builder Monster Train and flail further in Half-Life: Alyx. IGN’s eternal E3. The Escapist’s indie stream. Sony’s PS5 stream. I found it unconscionably boring, to my surprise and dismay. Undaunted: The Heretic One [...]

Tom S, Chris and Marsh try to fathom the bloody ways of Stoneshard, bloody the fathoms in Maneater, embrace doldrums in Sludge Life, bang the old drum for Fez, make other things go bang in Receiver 2, and probe wholes, holes and souls in The Witness. At the beginning of this episode we express our [...]

Sorry for the pops and crackles on this one! Alex and Marsh are joined by special and exceedingly distant guest, Rich McCormick, to discuss Noclip’s Arkane documentary, space thriller Observation and space driller Deep Rock Galactic. Wholesome Direct – not just a showcase of games about frogs wearing Nike Air Jordans. Noclip’s fabulous Arkane documentary [...]

Alex, Chris and Marsh gather to be confounded by Crucible, the first foray into videogames by billionaire devourer of iguana flesh, Jeff Bezos, and admire acrobatic aerial shmup Jet Lancer. Crucible is out! Should Crucible be out? HMM. Whither the edgy boys go? They go to be a sharkborg. Fly, fly, up and away in [...]

Tom F and Alex are joined by special guests and storied devs Soren Johnson and (at the end) Leyla Johnson – CEO and president of Mohawk Games, respectively – to talk about Old World, an historical, epic strategy game. And polygamy. You can get in on Old World’s Early Access phase via the Epic Games [...]

Tom S, Chris and Marsh lay themselves bare to discuss the Xbox showcase, sample the tasty-tasty-tasty open world comfort food of Middle-Earth: Shadow of War, unspool tubes in Filament and eye-roll at time-gribblies in Close to the Sun. The XBOX XERIEX X is coming and, if anyone notices, they will be able to play some [...]

More Animal Crossing with Pip and Chris! We talk island design, the pleasures and pitfalls of meeting your inexplicably naked heroes, put Blathers on trial for art crime, and consider the ups and downs of multiplayer island life. You can find this bonus episode on YouTube, and our intro music is, as ever, Clambake by [...]

Alex, Tom F and Graham e-gather to e-give their e-takes on the Assassin’s Creed reveal, get kicked right in the breach phase, courtesy of XCOM: Chimera Squad, and amp up the wide-men of Gears Tactics. Assassin’s Creed Valhalla has been announced. Watch the Vikings raid and pillage – but in a good way – in [...]

Tom S, Chris and Marsh evade the Gull Squad to bring you takes on the trousers of tactics spin-off XCOM: Chimera Squad, tubestation construction sim StationFlow and kraken-based illusory-victory machine Magic: The Gathering Arena. This isn’t relevant to show, but I think it’s important to say at the top of this that Tom would absolutely [...]

Tom F and Marsh are joined by the mellifluous voice of Graham Smith to have weird wives in Sigma Theory, poke fingers into Half-Life: Alyx’s fungal bird beaks and enjoy Valorant in the brief twilight that heralds our inevitable obsolescence. A new game from Firaxis comes out next week! It’s XCOM: Chimera Squad, aka Tactical [...]

Alex, Chris and both Toms (!) reach across timezones to discuss sunny getaways in Hitman 2, fraught getaways in Ori and the Will of the Wisps, and more. I’m going to be honest with you. It was very hot in my office when we recorded this episode, so I opened the window a crack. I [...]

Hello! Again! We’ve done another one of these! Chris and Pip cross the egg event horizon as they check in on island life, two weeks later. You can find this bonus episode on YouTube, if you like. As ever, our intro music is Clambake by The Mandibles. Some show notes! Here’s the website that lets [...]

Alex, Marsh, Chris and Tom Senior discuss the most topical games of the age, including but not limited to The Room VR, Call of Duty for some reason, hunting in Red Dead 2, and Mount & Blade: Bannerlord. We’re still getting used to this new remote recording setup, and we’ll be looking to invest in [...]

Marsh, Chris and Alex attempt our first remote pod to discuss AI-augmented game development and the various verbs of Doom Eternal. This is a shorter pod than usual as we get used to a new way of recording – but we’re going to do our best to continue to deliver hot pods every week. We [...]

Hello! In this special mini-pod, Pip and Chris share their experiences of Animal Crossing: New Horizons while playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. No spoilers, unless you didn’t know about the time that Chris killed his husband and fled to an island retreat with the family silver. Things are tough all over, and so we thought [...]

Chris, Marsh and a moth get drippy then descend into the underworld of Iris And The Giant, adjudicate on the latest Destiny drama and order a 14-inch stuffed-crust Warzone. The crust is stuffed with guns. Bane of trans-pacific trade and the NBA: Geoff Keighley. Wash your hands to be spared his wrath. Alan Hazelden has [...]

Chris and Alex discuss some actual games news and bury themselves kneck-deep in Dark Future and World of Horror – just in time for a special report from salty ocean correspondent Pip! Plus: voice controls, work-life balance, the hot panic of an embarassing gaming moment, our go-to grunts, and other emanations from this bumper episode [...]

Alex, Chris and Marsh endure the first episode of Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, but only barely, punch towers with mechadongs in Besiege, beat bad bots in resuscitated coop shooter Generation Zero and get bandy-legged in The Suicide of Rachael Foster. “It’s a real Bront.” We sat stony-faced through videogame-dev-set sitcom Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet but [...]

Alex and Marsh grudgingly drag themselves from the swamp to chat about spry roguelike platformer ScourgeBringer, palpate the unctuous parts of The Good Time Garden and feel ways about things in plangent poke-a-story Florence. Gentle nature-walk / insect stridulation simulator, Hunt: Showdown now has a PvE onboarding tutorial for new players. That’s nice! Red Dead [...]

Alex, Chris and Marsh bear witness to the spherical design crimes of Battlefront II, sweat bricks in formidable hell-Tetris game, Schwerkraftprojektionsgerät, and return to their happy place, the cursed murder-swamp of Hunt: Showdown. No one needs to own this many maglites. GeForce Now game streaming thing is out… now! But what is it and why [...]

Tom S, Chris and Marsh seek the Creature in the Well, guiltily juggle men in Dynasty Warriors 8, revisit the roots of the RTS in Warcraft 3: Reforged, crave decapitation in Mordau and assess the early access jank of Warhammer Underworlds: Online. “Stay off the tracks.” What’s that emerging from the frigid tundra of January? [...]

Alex and Marsh take a jaunty journey into the depths of Hades and wander the Streets of Rogue. The RNs are very much G’d, gorillas freed and the roguelikes liked, to varying degrees. Also: patch note heresies and our favourite offal. The Half-Lifes… Half-Lives?… They’re freeeee! Some of the Half-Life: Alyx team answered questions on [...]

Tom, Chris and Marsh gather to reopen Black Mesa’s final chapters, vie to become the ultimate Tom in Slay The Spire, hoover up all the flavour text in Pillars of Eternity: Deadfire and ride the rhythm of Sayonara Wild Hearts. Let’s put this at the top: this year’s C&C Community GOTY is now online! Go [...]

It’s the end of the year! Pip, Marsh, Alex, Chris and a hologram of Tom Francis gather on a big sofa to discuss their favourite games of the year. Featuring Sekiro, Baba is You, Red Dead Redemption 2, Disco Elysium, Outer Wilds and more! This’ll be our last podcast of the year – we’ll be [...]

Alex and Chris discuss Resident Evil 3 and Twin Peaks VR before setting a course straight for the heart of men-in-helmets-land: Phoenix Point, Halo: Reach, and a little Destiny 2: Season of Dawn. Also featuring: the true pillars of any hero’s journey, the retroactive bigtown crisis, the vital importance of denying yourself the dream gnome, [...]

Tom, Marsh and two-thirds of a bottle of whiskey consider the fate of Valley of the Gods, indulge in Russo-phobic whack-a-mole in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and ponder space, loss and buttons in Still There. Campo Santo’s Valley of the Gods is now officially on hold as its creators move onto other projects at [...]

Alex, Chris and Marsh take on the Pied Poper in A Plague Tale: Innocence, pootle across the Sea of Thieves, burp their way through Sigma Theory: Global Cold War and leave a faint but distinctly colonic whiff of Dota in their wake. BUY BUY BUY And people did – specifically they went and bought all [...]

Tom, Chris, Alex and Marsh rejoice in the return of Half-Life, coo at the UI of Unity of Command II, marvel at the muddle of Death Stranding and spark up our Good Hot Swords in Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. This episode is brought to you in association with The People’s Lidl Rum David Bowie [...]

Alex, Chris and Marsh provide only the most deletable content as they marvel at the obscene indulgence of Death Stranding, tumble through infinity in Manifold Garden and test the limits of dark ecstasy in Lust From Beyond: Prologue. Don’t open with the genital shoggoth. Brian David Gilbert has made a Hideo Kojima name generator. That’s [...]

Marsh is joined by artist John Roberts to sleuth through Jenny LeClue: Detectivu, unpick the mysteries of Tangle Tower and expose deceptions in Telling Lies. Also: class war and Photoshop brushes. Fallout 1st is undergoing a proletariat revolution. EA’s stuff is back on Steam now. Cool? The Steam Library has been revamped. Hm. Detectiving and [...]

Marsh, Alex, Chris, both Toms and (occasionally Pip) assemble for the dawn of the podcast’s third century. Featuring Outer Worlds, more Disco Elysium, Radio Commander, Teamfight Tactics and more. Plus: the rise of Norman Buffus, British Public Transport Elysium, an extremely long conversation about pants, books, the cursed Beeb, and some vital Tom Francis news. [...]

Chris and Marsh get the comms horn for Fortnite’s spectacular server shutdown, eat the wave of FOMO in Destiny 2 and unleash their inner twat upon Disco Elysium. Also: house rules for goblins. Fortnite Chapter 2 is a marketing coup and some sort of game, too, I guess. A good thread on the aforementioned. Chris [...]

Toms Francis and Senior join Marsh to discuss dismissive dad death in Indivisible and lobby for gun-lobbing in both Borderlands 3 and John Wick Hex. Also: why PCs are awful and no one should build them. Please, don’t say “fampany”. Blizzard’s incredible, punitive reaction to a pro-player speaking out about Hong Kong. UsTwo Games got [...]

Tom F, Alex and Marsh discuss the voxely promise of Teardown and existential terror of Microsoft Flight Simulator, return to Destiny redux, play some holes in What the Golf? and get nailed by every pixel in Noita. Put that in your leviathan and smoke it. Admire the restrained scope and exquisite smashiness of Teardown by [...]

Tom F and Chris break into the pod chamber to discuss the latest wave of gaming subscription programmes, the pipe edge situations of Overland, and some game about a goose you probably haven’t heard of. You’ve always got some redundant beans. The subs models in question are Apple Arcade, Xbox Game Pass, Humble Monthly and [...]

Chris, Tom S and Marsh discuss The Hunt: Showdown, Nocked! True Tales of Robin Hood and Astral Chain. Plus things that tinkle and jangle, things that waggle to make friars happy and things that should be renamed, remade and covered with moons. It’s a busy weekend for game releases: honk at a farmer in Untitled [...]

Chris, Tom F, Alex and… Marsh (!) discuss Wilmot’s Warehouse, Guild Wars 2, Slay The Spire’s new class and Control. Plus: what’s that wizard’s problem anyway, the tricky issue of endings, David Cage’s Hamlet, and so on. One is a box in Wilmot’s Warehouse. Here’s the excellent trailer, featuring Pip! Six birthdays all at once [...]

Tom F and Alex are joined by special guest Mike Cook: AI researcher, indie dev, and friend of the podcast. We get into AI judging games, combining games, designing games, and failing to understand what’s so good about walls. Also discussed: long Cebs in The International, dialogue style in A Short Hike, gossip in Fire [...]

Chris, Tom F and Alex discuss Dicey Dungeons, Jupiter Hell, Exanima and Fire Emblem. Plus: arguably the worst way of categorising games we’ve ever come up with, and that’s saying something. I’m sorry, but for physics reasons I need you to cradle me and lower me to the earth. We’ve all been playing Dicey Dungeons, [...]

Chris, Pip and Tom F briefly return to autobattlers before discussing A Short Hike, Stones of Solace, Islanders, and the faults of a variety of algorithms. All this, just so that an otter can say well done. Pip’s lives in Teamfight Tactics now. …with breaks for Stones of Solace. Tom has taken A Short Hike [...]

Chris and both Toms wander in late to discuss assorted retro shooters, Nowhere Prophet, Fire Emblem, naughty semaphore, and additional tepid takes. I’m a murder president on the go, and I need my fix. Tom S’s been playing a big pile of all-caps retro shooters, including AMID EVIL, DUSK, Ion Fury. Tom F has been [...]

Tom F, Chris and Alex use videogames’ full name as they discuss Kingdom Come, Bloodstained, Griftlands, Mechanicus, The Witcher 3 and more. Chris has been pondering Kingdom Come: Deliverance and Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus. Alex has been developing an art collection in Assassin’s Creed: It’s A Real Journey and Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night. Tom’s been [...]

Autobattlers agogo. Pip and Chris take some time out from their busy wizard management schedule to discuss Valve’s Steam Lab before delivering the definitive verdict on the world’s array of autochesses. The Steam Labs page has all of the info you need about Valve’s disparate attempts to replace me and everyone I know with a [...]

Tom F, Chris and John discuss the cutthroat business of wizard cards, the biting bureaucracy of Pathfinder: Kingmaker, and the travails of high finance in Hitman 2 New York. Here’s a picture of a gem that might belong to a new, free, Slay The Spire character. A lot of people sure have played Dota Underlords, [...]