The Children's Hour of Knowledge

You probably have an idea of how long we can keep running the same joke into the ground! Your idea is wrong.

What do you get when you take a show that's Just "4" Kids, divide by two, subtract one, and struggle on in the face of overwhelming loss and grief? That's right--the all-singing, all-dancing, all-mysteries-revealing SEASON FINALE!<br><br><em>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://freesound.org/people/fuzzpapi/sounds/147345/">fuzzpapi</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/tmokonen/sounds/95951/">tmokonen</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/jnr%20hacksaw/sounds/11221/>jnr hacksaw</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/northern87/sounds/131100/>northern87</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/DJ%20Chronos/sounds/32312/">DJ Chronos</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/sandyrb/sounds/86207/">sandyrb</a>, and <a href="http://freesound.org/people/StonedB/sounds/179376/">StonedB</a>, used under Creative Commons license.</em>

Hey, everybody runs into hard times once in a while, over and over again, no matter what we try to do differently. But you know what will always be there for you? The future--and the Children's Hour of Knowledge! Join us as we close our eyes and go rushing forward into a better yesterday... tomorrow!<br><br><em>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://freesound.org/people/elliottmoo/sounds/194911/">elliottmoo</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/malexmedia/sounds/35250/">malexmedia</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/altfuture/sounds/174643/>altfuture</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/ngruber/sounds/204777/">ngruber</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/kingsrow/sounds/150246/">kingsrow</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/reg7783/sounds/133440/">reg7783</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/vmgraw/sounds/235620/">vmgraw</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/StonedB/sounds/179376/">StonedB</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/sandyrb/sounds/86207/">sandyrb</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/bone666138/sounds/198876/">bone666138</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/DJ%20Chronos/sounds/32312/">DJ Chronos</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Zarkonnen/sounds/168885/">Zarkonnen</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/KingofPampers/sounds/213501/">KingofPampers</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/northern87/sounds/131100/">northern87</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Klerrp/sounds/121941/">Klerrp</a> (<a href="http://freesound.org/people/Klerrp/sounds/121942/">twice</a>), <a href="http://freesound.org/people/LoafDV/sounds/238289/">LoafDV</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/92987/">Benboncan</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/jnr%20hacksaw/sounds/11221/">jnr hacksaw</a>, and <a href="http://freesound.org/people/tmokonen/sounds/95951/">tmokonen</a>.</em>

Ah, zoology--the special branch of science dedicated to worshiping the mysteries of life! Where do we come from? How do we smell? What drives animals to weave their complex and beautiful dance of dominance, cruelty and death? We'll never know unless we... ask somebody!<br><br>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://freesound.org/people/sittingmonkeyanim/sounds/199919/">sittingmonkeyanim</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Zabuhailo/sounds/143125/">Zabuhailo</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Reitanna/sounds/217767/">Reitanna</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/AntumDeluge/sounds/188043/">AntumDeluge</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/wisslgisse/sounds/52756/">wisslgisse</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/vedas/sounds/175381/">vedas</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Autistic%20Lucario/sounds/140210/">Autistic Lucario</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Elfman-Rox/sounds/238555/">Elfman-Rox</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/pepv/sounds/188262/">pepv</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/acclivity/sounds/64401/">acclivity</a>,

Sure, the CHK is Just For Kids, but what about the universe of universities? This week, Bongo and Davey take a minute to "cap their gowns" and leap looklessly into the world of academia! Joined by a noted "Doctor" of Divinity , they'll live, laugh and learn more about the kind of education that gets you... higher!<br><br><em>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/CapsLok/sounds/181266/">CapsLok</a>, <a href="https://www.freesound.org/people/tlwm/sounds/165861/>tlwm</a>, <a href="https://www.freesound.org/people/stewdio2003/sounds/238367/">stewdio2003</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/altfuture/sounds/174643/">altfuture</a>, and <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Setuniman/sounds/135774/">Setuniman</a>.</em>

Music. Finance. Literature. Animals... and the handicapped. Today, as never before, we're proud to bring you our most restrained and dignified episode yet. The kind of real storytelling. We've always wanted to do. From the hills of Appalachia to the deepest inner city. From yachting to romance. From past to present. A look into the future. Of this... puppet... life.<br><br><em>Guest-starring the phenomenal <a href="https://twitter.com/joehills">Joe Hills</a> as Prufrock J. Endoplasm! This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/nicklubimov/sounds/147800/">nicklubimov</a>,<a href="http://freesound.org/people/milton./sounds/136463/">milton.</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Halleck/sounds/29938/">Halleck</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/23735/">Corsica_S</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/saphe/sounds/173955/">saphe</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/phenoxy/sounds/195448/">phenoxy</a> and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/JarredGibb/sounds/219492/">JaredGibb</a>, as well as a recording from the <a href="http://freemusicarchive.org/">Free Music Archive</a> by <a href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Quantum_Jazz/End_of_Line/07_-_Quantum_Jazz_-_Orbiting_A_Distant_Planet">Quantum Jazz</a>.</em>

There's plenty of "raps" to "beat" this week, but we're not talking about hop jams--Bongo and Davey are here to explore the wonders of trial by jury with their very own lives! Be sure to pay attention to hear a spectacular collection of guest puppets, or we'll hold you in contempt... of my heart!<br><br><em>Featuring a <a href="https://twitter.com/joehills">SECRET SURPRISE GUEST</a> who will get his credit next week! This podcast includes samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://freesound.org/people/odditonic/sounds/187705/">odditonic</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/soundmary/sounds/194999/">soundmary</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/mredig/sounds/120560/">mredig</a> and <a href="http://freesound.org/people/RutgerMuller/sounds/104096/">RutgerMuller</a>.</em>

Sometimes, we have people who really matter in our lives, and sometimes those people are gone. It's a tough subject for our boys to tackle, but fortunately, Matronly Margaret is here to help them deal with it! It's going to be fine!!! ITS FINE!!!!! THERE ARE EVEN SOME POOP JOKES<br><br><em>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Pogotron/sounds/65514/">Pogotron</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/altfuture/sounds/174640/">altfuture</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/RutgerMuller/sounds/103996/">RutgerMuller</a>, and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Srehpog/sounds/31623/">Srehpog</a>.

Ah... remember high school? Yearbooks? Textbooks? Matchbooks? Of course you don't! The Hour of Knowledge is for Kids Only! But if you did remember, I'd urge you to read the "fine print" about your memories. They may be closer... than they appear!<br><br><em>Carolyn is voiced by the brilliant <a href="http://thedoubleclicks.com/">Angela Webber of the Doubleclicks</a>! This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://www.freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by fons (<a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=62412">1</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=62363">2</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=62362">3</a>), <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=50633">chipfork</a>, and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=58493">juskiddink</a>.</em>

Take a journey with us... a journey through history... through innerspace... through possibly the dumbest thing we have ever put on magnetic storage media...!<br><br> <i>This ridiculous podcast contains selections from a recording of the <a href="http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100551">Danse Macabre</a>, used under a Creative Commons license.</i>

Have you ever really thought about your brain? Like REALLY thought about it? Trick question! You can't. It's a paradox. Bongo, Davey and returning guest Profoctor Daniel are here to help you stop thinking... and stop doing! <br><br><em>Profoctor Daniel is voiced by the amazing <a href="http://www.krisstraub.com/">Kris Straub</a>! This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://freesound.org/people/altfuture/sounds/174640/">altfuture</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/THE_bizniss/sounds/39562/">THE_bizniss</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Kyster/sounds/140615/">Kyster</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/martinimeniscus/sounds/199451/">martinimeniscus</a>, and <a href="http://freesound.org/people/deathmasterwa/sounds/130626/">deathmasterwa</a>.

Ever wondered where the sun sets? Where the rainbow goes? Why birds can fly over it--but you can't? Even on a plane? Join us as we explore a musical mystery years in the making, and unravel the secret of why the chicken crossed... the sky! <i>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=114026">tgfcoder</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=112382">derficker</a> and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=65514">Pogotron</a>, as well as <a href="http://www.severedfifth.com/releases/">"The Lake" by Severed Fifth</a>, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Sharealike license.</i>

What's for dinner? Or, perhaps we should be asking--what WAS for dinner? That's the "mystery" afoot at the Pirate Broadcast Center, but don't worry: Davey, Bongo, and a special surprise guest are "just in case!" <br><br> <em>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://www.freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by--get ready--<a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/adcbicycle/sounds/13825/">adcbicycle</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Alvinwhatup2/sounds/161750/">Alvinwhatup2</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/CastIronCarousel/sounds/216748/">CastIronCarousel</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/oxymore/sounds/34217/">oxymore</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/60178/">Benboncan</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/dobroide/sounds/24363/">dobroide</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/payattention/sounds/81192/">payattention</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/BMacZero/sounds/96137/">BMacZero</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/ecfike/sounds/130863/">ecfike</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Project_Trident/sounds/140296/">Project_Trident</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/danieldouch/sounds/218094/">danieldouch</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/lolamadeus/sounds/181062/">lolamadeus</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/Eneasz/sounds/216882/">Eneasz</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/LampEight/sounds/178021/">LampEight</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/bulbastre/sounds/126952/">bulbastre</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/FreqMan/sounds/40554/">FreqMan</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/XxBirdoxX/sounds/52290/">XxBirdoxX</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/scriptique/sounds/50823/">scriptique</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/amsempl/sounds/151963/">amsempl</a> (<a href="http://freesound.org/people/amsempl/sounds/151961/">several</a> <a href="http://freesound.org/people/amsempl/sounds/151972/">more</a> <a href="http://freesound.org/people/amsempl/sounds/151970/">times</a>), <a href="http://freesound.org/people/swimignorantfire/sounds/165196/">swimignorantfire</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/videog/sounds/149190/">videog</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/CastIronCarousel/sounds/216874/">CastIronCarousel</a>, <a href="http://freesound.org/people/abbahoot/sounds/221650/">abbahoot</a>, and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/TicTacShutUp/sounds/406/">TicTacShutUp</a>.</em>

Are you hungry for a "power pellet?" Want to "level up" in "intelligence?" Well, luckily you don't have to go to the arcade this time--we've got a new episode streaming down your cybernet, packed with bleeps, bloops, bits, bytes, and enough pixels to make you... sick-cell!<br><br> <i>This podcast features a special guest appearance by <a href="http://www.ashlyburch.com/"><b>Ashly Burch</b></a> of <a href="http://www.heyash.com/">Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/BakedGoodsShow">Baked Goods</a>! It also features samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Pogotron/sounds/65514/">Pogotron</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/TicTacShutUp/sounds/406/">TicTacShutUp</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/oxymore/sounds/34217/">oxymore</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/60178/">Benboncan</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/dobroide/sounds/24363/">dobroide</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/JamesOC/sounds/69585/">JamesOC</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/payattention/sounds/81192/">paytattention</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/thanvannispen/sounds/9429/">thanvannispen</a>, and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/morgantj/sounds/59579/">morgantj</a>, as well as <a href="http://www.severedfifth.com/releases/">"The Lake" by Severed Fifth</a>, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Sharealike license.</i>

What happens when you mix eight milliliters of Bongo, ten centimeters of Davey, forty pounds of surprise guest and a little bit of knowledge? Stand back, kids, because the results might just be... chemical! <i>This podcast contains samples from <a href="http://www.freesound.org/">freesound.org</a> by (get ready) <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/gallagho/sounds/27366/">gallagho</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/beatbed/sounds/15819/">beatbed</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/wildweasel/sounds/39015/">wildweasel</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/adcbicycle/sounds/13825/">adcbicycle</a>, CGEffex (<a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/CGEffex/sounds/96632/">1</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/CGEffex/sounds/96630/">2</a>), <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/pierrecartoons1979/sounds/90222/">pierrecartoons1979</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Jon285/sounds/34708/">Jon285</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/Robinhood76/sounds/64346/">Robinhood76</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/watupgroupie/sounds/36815/">watupgroupie</a> and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/people/NoiseCollector/sounds/3718/">NoiseCollector</a>.</i>

What's that? You've scented something on the breath of the wind? Are the rumors possible?! Tune your ear to the frequency of magic, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of the unknown, because the Children's Hour of Knowledge is... back! <i>This podcast contains samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=78391">PaperJam</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=104878">Kulanan</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=103586">steveygos93</a>, and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=32630">kjackson</a>. Special thanks to an unknown hero of MIDI composition.</i>

YO I THINK IM A GET ME SUM O THEM NEW GUCCI SCARVES. DETROIT COLD AS A B*TCH IN OCTOBS N I BET ID LOOK FLY IN ONE O DEM. MAYBE SUMTHIN IN FUCHSIA IF IT GOES WIT MY FUR COLOR, KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN PUPPET, LOL <i>This podcast contains a samples from the <a href="http://freesound.org/">Free Sound Project</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=39030">wildweasel</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=91918">Filipe Chagas</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=25322">Therac-25</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=55193">hello_flowers</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=71740">audible-25</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=101961">CGEffex</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=101961">sapht</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=83772">ssaada1</a>, and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=64346">Robinhood76</a>. Special thanks to secret guest star Kara Neary!</i>

Ah, spring... the time for change and renewal! Rebirth! Regular birth! Afterbirth! "Eww," you say? That's nothing! Just wait 'til you see what's coming "down" the "pipe" as we slide headfirst out of the season... finale! <i>This podcast features a return performance by special guest <b>Erika Moen</b> of <a href="http://www.darcomic.com/">DAR: A Super Girly Top Secret Comic Diary</a>! It also includes samples from <a href="http://www.freesound.org/">freesound.org</a> by <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=58202">THE_bizniss</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=68659">mikaelfernstrom</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=21741">Erdie</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=29542">bennychico11</a> and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=59263">Rock Savage</a>.</i>

No joke intro for this episode, we're just glad it's over with. Jesus CHRIST that was hard. We are never making fun of anyone who raps for a living again.* *lie <i>This episode features samples from <a href="http://www.ccmixter.org/">ccMixter</a> and <a href="http://www.freesound.org/">freesound.org</a> by Andino Mobin (<a href="http://ccmixter.org/files/anindo6666/332">1</a> and <a href="http://ccmixter.org/files/anindo6666/329">2</a>), <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=3536">luffy</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=29542">bennychico11</a>, <a href="http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=59263">Rock Savage</a>, and <a href="http://ccmixter.org/files/CJ_Fresh2224/12838">CJ Fresh</a>.</i>

Uh-oh, kids! Turns out episode 29 needs just a little more "lovin'" while it's still in the "oven." But what's to sustain you this week, you ask? Try these sixty seconds of delicious... filler!