The Big Drink Rethink

What really drives us to reach for alcohol, and why is avoidance so quietly powerful in our habits? In this episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the psychology behind using alcohol as a coping mechanism, revealing how it silences discomfort and acts as a fast-acting state change in our modern lives. Drawing from her own lived experience and insights from her Substack “The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab,” Anna explores how avoidance is not weakness, but a deeply human strategy rooted in our biology and history.She dives into the difference between signals (those uncomfortable feelings and nudges) and state changes, explaining how alcohol overrides what our mind is trying to tell us. With practical examples and gentle guidance, Anna encourages listeners to get curious about their own habits, question the signals they might be silencing, and imagine life with alternative strategies that don’t come at such a cost.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Welcome, this week we are exploring the theme of avoidance01:03 How alcohol is used to numb and silence discomfort02:20 The British Medical Council: alcohol as the nation’s favourite coping mechanism04:04 Avoidance as an intelligent survival strategy, not denial05:12 Our ancient brain responds to discomfort06:00 Alcohol as a fast-acting state changer, it quietens the alarm08:23 Alternative avoidance strategies: work, scrolling, food09:09 We have a regulation systems, relief can be instantly available10:01 Learning to listen to discomfort13:17 Anna’s Sunday “unease”, discovering the real signal beneath the habit14:04 Signals as information about our needs and alignment15:07 When avoidance no longer works, what comes next?16:04 Imagining alternative strategies without the cost of alcoholAnna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk

Why do we agonise over disrupting the social flow by saying “no thanks” to a drink, even when alcohol is quietly disrupting so much more in our lives? In this thought-provoking solo episode, Anna Donaghey explores the micro-moments of clarity that often crop up when we consider changing our drinking habits. Drawing from a recent conversation with Ry Gavan, Anna explores how alcohol quietly sits behind so many social occasions, becoming a synchronised ritual, yet the real disruptions to our wellbeing are often overlooked, minimised, or accepted as “just life.” She examines the tension between the fear of social awkwardness and the reality of how quickly our circles adapt, and offers practical tools to handle that brief moment of discomfort. This episode is for anyone ready to question the script, trust those quiet nudges, and make choices around alcohol that genuinely align with who they are.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Welcome to “Tiny Clarity Moments 2”01:06 Wanting better sleep, energy, patience, but fearing social awkwardness03:20 The imagined disruption versus reality04:26 Ry’s true story: friends adjust, little actually changes05:01 The disruptions we tolerate: poor sleep, lost weekends, tension07:16 A question to ask: what disruptions am I already accepting?07:47 How do you make it easier to say no?09:41 Why you don’t owe an explanation10:44 Changing the subject and shifting the conversation11:04 The power of holding an alcohol-free drink in your hand11:33 Reframing: you’re just doing something different tonight13:31 Embracing quiet confidence, normalising intentional choices14:23 What disruption is really worth worrying about?15:22 Creating space for others by asking honest questionsThe first part of this mini-series on Tiny Clarity Moments can be found here on Apple or here on Spotify.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk

What happens when we question alcohol’s role as the backdrop to almost every social moment? In this powerful episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Ry Gavan from DRiNKLiNK, a Scotland-based charity supporting families affected by someone else’s drinking, for an honest conversation about the ripple effects of alcohol in our lives.Rather than focusing solely on “extremes,” Anna Donaghey and Ry explore why alcohol’s real power lies in its expectation: its presence at celebrations, commiserations, sport, family gatherings, and so much more. They explore the underlying fear of social disruption when someone opts out, the tension between belonging and authenticity, and the surprising reality that our imagined social fallout rarely materialises.This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about the social script around drinking, the underestimated impact of alcohol, and what actually changes (for the better) when you step outside the expectation.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Intro: Exploring alcohol as the expected backdrop01:04 The tension of opting out02:08 Ry’s story05:24 Social rituals, identity, and the anxiety of changing your “role”09:50 Alcohol is woven into Scottish life, sports, family, and celebrations11:28 Grey area drinking, and challenging the “boring” label14:43 Underestimating the real disruption of drinking15:15 Alcohol’s impact on deaths, hospitalisations, and NHS strain18:34 How one change can influence others in the group19:26 Belonging anxiety, why standing out feels risky, but rarely is22:36 Moving beyond thinking alcohol as the “glue” of social connection29:53 Confidence and learning to love who you are33:53 Underestimating the real impact of drinking35:26 DRiNKLiNK’s work and impact40:07 Alcohol and social inequalities42:28 Testing your assumptions and finding new evidence44:43 Gamifying sobriety, progress, joy, and positive change46:15 How to connect with DRiNKLiNK and share your story.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.ukAbout Ry Gavan:Ry Gavan works with DRiNKLiNK, a Scotland-based charity supporting people affected by someone else’s drinking.He’s passionate about destigmatising sobriety and challenging the expectation that alcohol is required for connection.His work focuses on the ripple effects drinking has on families and communities and what changes when we begin to see clearly without it.Connect with Ry:Website: https://drinklink.org/

Who are you, really, if you remove alcohol from your life? In this deeply thoughtful solo episode, Anna Donaghey takes on the big, unsettling question: “Who am I if I don’t drink?”Rather than focusing on willpower or missing out, Anna Donaghey explores the real, often unspoken identity shifts that happen when we rethink our relationship with alcohol. With psychological insight, lived experience, and practical tools, she explores why alcohol feels like more than a habit, it becomes a social uniform, a signal for belonging, and even a “scaffolding” for how we move through life.Exploring topics like “identity lag,” belonging, and the power of meeting your true self, Anna Donaghey guides listeners through the discomfort and liberation that can come with letting go of drinking. She offers gentle reframes, challenging listeners to consider not just what they’ll lose, but the strengths and surprises they might gain. This episode is for anyone feeling curious about life on the other side of drinking.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Intro: Rethinking your relationship with alcohol01:03 “Who am I if I don’t drink?” - the question beneath the fear03:29 Drinking as a “social passport” - ritual, friendship, and fitting in04:34 The need to belong and why challenging alcohol can feel threatening06:14 Alcohol as a uniform, how it signals our role in different settings07:16 Meeting yourself as an adult without alcohol for the first time08:25 Identity lag: why our sense of self changes slower than our behaviour10:06 How alcohol helps us perform or buffer feelings12:55 Ask: “Who have I not allowed myself to be?”13:32 Outgrowing old coping strategies14:38 Using alcohol as armor, scaffolding, or stabilisers18:47 Liberation and alignment, shifting from performance to true self20:41 If alcohol wasn’t in the picture, what would remain and what might strengthen?Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk

How do you truly start over, and what does real reinvention look like? In this episode, Anna Donaghey talks with Andrew Drasen, author, speaker, and survivor about life beyond sobriety, diving into identity, purpose, and hope.Andrew’s journey goes far beyond addiction, spanning imprisonment, loss, and the search for meaning. He shares his struggles with self-image, rebellion, and choices that led to incarceration, as well as the heartbreak of losing loved ones, including his fiancée Caroline.Together, Anna and Andrew explore how we cling to unsustainable identities, and how radical acceptance, creative rebuilding, and writing his memoir A Vision of Hope became acts of healing. This conversation is a reminder that change is possible. Healing isn’t the end, it’s the beginning.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Rethinking drinking and identity01:15 Andrew’s story: addiction, loss, and the reckoning02:42 Childhood, self-image, and early substance use04:04 Identity as “life of the party” and rule-breaking07:58 The snowball effect: risky behaviour and its consequences09:40 False bravado, ego, and self-worth13:01 First arrest and inevitability of trouble15:49 Escalating to heroin and survival mode17:47 Turning points: a break in sentencing and glimpses of hope20:00 Recovery, 12-step meetings, and writing21:32 Grieving loss, healing through creativity22:07 Losing Caroline, deep identity work, and transformation33:29 Andrew’s recovery framework38:28 If you’re afraid of change: the courage to try40:00 Recovery as a beginning, not an end.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.ukAbout Andew Drasen: Andrew Drasen is the author of A Vision of Hope and the creator of a 90-day framework that helps people discover identity, clarify direction, and build purpose-driven lives.His mission is to help people see not just who they are, but who they can become - transforming pain into growth and purpose.Listeners can visit Andrew’s website at avisionofhopebook.com to download the free preview pack, preorder the book, or sign up for the newsletter. It’s the best place to access all of his resources and stay connected.Connect with Andrew:Website: https://www.avisionofhopebook.com/

Does our past define us? In this insightful episode, Anna Donaghey explores a quietly powerful truth: you are not fixed. You are not your history, your habits, or the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive.She guides you into the transformative space between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming. Uncovering how old beliefs and identities, especially around drinking, can unconsciously shape your choices and keep you attached to outdated versions of yourself. With a thoughtful blend of philosophy, neuroscience, and her signature warmth and honesty, Anna invites you to question what you’ve been carrying forward and whether it still fits.You’ll discover how identity is formed, why it can feel so solid and unchangeable, and how to gently step out of autopilot to choose again. Because no matter how long you’ve played a particular role, you are never required to keep playing it.If you’re ready for more possibility, more self-trust, and a kinder, braver relationship with change, this episode is for you.Here are the Highlights: 00:00 Welcome and the real power (and limits) of “that’s just who I am”01:15 Why you are not your past03:09 How roles keep us safe (and sometimes stuck)04:05 We are in a state of constant change, even when we feel static05:07 Modern neuroscience and why your brain is always rewiring06:31 How cultures and families script our identities07:25 Adaptation as survival when old strategies keep running08:21 Unpicking whether you still need your old beliefs and habits10:18 What’s coping, and what’s truly you?11:08 The tragedy of forgetting we’ve already changed (and can do it again)12:30 Small, sustainable reinvention versus. dramatic transformation13:05 Freedom and responsibility, have agency over who you become.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk

We’ve taught young people how to achieve but have we taught them how to feel, struggle, and grow? Host Anna Donaghey is joined by consultant Joanna Lilley, who works with young adults at the crossroads of high school, university, and early adulthood, to explore why so many high-achieving students feel anxious, overwhelmed, and unprepared for life.Together, they discuss the emotional blind spots shaping a generation, from overprotection and crisis-driven support, to the relentless pursuit of perfection and the lure of numbing out through tech, alcohol, and quick fixes. You’ll also hear practical ideas for building genuine resilience, supporting emotional growth, and redefining success for both parents and teens.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Welcome back & why helping kids handle stress matters02:08 Why record numbers of students are struggling04:09 Tech, overstimulation & the accountability gap after leaving home05:27 Why current university support often misses the mark10:22 Are parents unintentionally “fixing” too much?11:29 Why adversity and struggle are key to building grit and resilience15:22 Coping, numbing, and the pull toward quick-fix behaviors18:10 Alcohol, substances, and the hidden culture of self-medication21:00 The emotional blind spots that make numbing so tempting23:12 How parents and schools can nurture real emotional intelligence and self-awareness29:02 Why Gen Z are the anxious generation33:57 How to support your teen without being a human shield for difficulty35:09 Letting go, empty nests, and finding your own path45:54 Why recovery, reflection, and even a gap year matter more than ever47:43 How intuition, creativity, and downtime build long-term resilience.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.ukAbout Joanna Lilley:Joanna Lilley runs LilleyConsulting and, since 2016, has been helping young adults (18+) find mental health, substance use, and wellness resources. Joanna dedicates herself to working solely with emerging adults who unravel in college or aren’t thriving in adulthood. She also hosts the "Success is Subjective" podcast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.Connect with Joanna:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LilleyConsultingLLC/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-lilley-ma-ncc-12546566/

What if making one intentional, alcohol-free day didn’t have to feel like a test of willpower or a white-knuckle challenge you had to survive? In this practical solo episode, your host Anna Donaghey shares a clear, step-by-step structure for what a supported, intentional day off drinking can look like in real life.Inspired by a listener who found Dry January a “white-knuckle ride,” Anna explores why sustainable change isn’t about deprivation or strict rules, but about adding support, care, and intention into your day. She’ll walk you through gentle but powerful tools you can use: from a simple morning check-in and choosing your mantra, to micro-habits that help transition from work mode to rest mode without defaulting to a drink.No matter if you’re struggling to string one alcohol-free day together or just want to experiment with drinking less, this toolkit breaks it down into doable, kind steps so you can approach the question of drinking with more choice and less self-judgment.Here are the Highlights:00:00 Welcome back and the listener question behind this episode00:55 Why lasting change is rarely about willpower01:39 “I struggle to put even one alcohol-free day together”03:02 Sustainable change is about adding support, not just removing alcohol04:07 What does one intentional alcohol-free day actually look like?05:26 Starting with a gentle morning check-in (and why it matters)07:27 Have a “coffee with yourself” and checking in on your needs09:25 Choosing a mantra to anchor your day15:29 Micro-rests and working with the day you really have17:36 Hydration as an act of self-care, not just another box to tick20:45 How being well-resourced softens evening cravings21:08 Dealing with the “witching hour”23:33 Finding new rituals to mark the threshold between work and rest26:20 The importance of identity cues, not just discipline27:31 Ending the day with a gentle reflection (not a journaling marathon)30:30 One intentional day is always worth coming back to33:30 How to get more support with the Thirsty For More Mindset Lab.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk