#162 Protecting Autistic Joy Through Play With Cari Ebert, SLP

For years, autistic play has been misunderstood, redirected, or even discouraged. But what if the very things we've been trying to "fix" are actually authentic expressions of joy, regulation, and connection?

In this replay of my powerful conversation with nationally recognized pediatric SLP, speaker, and neurodiversity-affirming advocate Cari Ebert, we explore why autistic play is real play — and why honoring it changes everything.

Together, we unpack deep interests, regulation-first teaching, expanding play without pressure, and what it truly means to presume competence.

This episode will gently challenge old assumptions and give you practical, relationship-based strategies you can use right away.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why autistic children play differently — and why different doesn't mean wrong
• The difference between wide interests and deep interests
• How honoring deep interests builds meaningful connection and communication
• What "regulate, reach, teach" looks like in real classrooms and therapy sessions
• Why compliance-based approaches often lead to dysregulation
• How to expand play schemes without pressure or power struggles
• What it truly means to presume competence
• Why autistic joy deserves to be protected and celebrated

Key Takeaways

• Autistic play is authentic play
• Different does not mean deficient
• Connection builds communication
• Regulation must come before instruction
• Behavior is communication, especially during dysregulation
• Deep interests are powerful pathways to learning
• Presuming competence can unlock incredible potential
• Honor autistic joy

Try This

• Choose one child this week and intentionally shift your lens.
• Observe their deep interest without interrupting or redirecting
• Join their play through parallel play — without an agenda
• Model one small expansion (no pressure, no hand-over-hand)
• Adjust one environmental factor to support regulation
• Reframe one "behavior" by asking: What is the why behind this?
• Small shifts in perspective can create big shifts in connection.

Related Resources & Links

• Cari Ebert's book: The Learning to Learn Program

• Download Cari's free handout: Autistic Play Is Authentic Play at: https://cariebert.com/freebie

• Get Tara's Play Stages Checklist here: https://autismlittlelearners.myflodesk.com/q76ntpgbge

You can find Cari at: www.cariebert.com

When we stop trying to fix autistic play and instead honor it, something powerful happens.

We see regulation increase. We see connection deepen. We see communication grow.

And most importantly — we protect autistic joy.

Autistic children become autistic adults. The way we respond to their play today shapes how they experience themselves tomorrow.

Let's honor their joy.