The Anxious Achiever

Imagine you are having an anxious moment at work. Instead of letting yourself slip into old patterns of negative thoughts or self-criticisms, today’s guest says you can take a step back and try something new: maybe moving around, going out for lunch, drinking some water - but definitely not doom scrolling. Emma Seppala is a lecturer at Yale and author of the book Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos. In this episode, she explains behavior changes that can make a big difference in your career. Check out Emma’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/Sovereign-Reclaim-Freedom-Distraction-Uncertainty/dp/1401975062

Burnout culture is everywhere - case in point, a lawsuit brought against Goldman Sachs earlier this year by a former employee claiming that the relentless workload required by the firm led to heart problems and depression. The firm’s response was of particular note to Sarah Green Carmichael, a Bloomberg Opinion columnist. In this LinkedIn Live, Sarah joins Morra as well as Cali Williams Yost, founder and CEO of Flex+Strategy Group, to discuss the interplay between company culture and individual experience and behavior, as it relates to our mental health. For further reading, check out Cali’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Work-Life-Cali-Williams-Yost-ebook/dp/B001R9DHXK?ref_=ast_author_dp And Sarah Green Carmichael’s columns: https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/authors/AUKfbdj7jH8/sarah-green-carmichael

There was a time when everyone masked their mental and emotional struggles at work; or worse, didn’t even know that what they were experiencing might be anxiety, depression, or something similar. In this episode, host Morra Aarons-Mele first speaks with Kent Coules, co-publisher at Hawaii Business Magazine, about his long career in media, his path to sobriety, and what he learned about drinking and anxiety along the way. Then, she speaks with Donna Volpitta, co-founder of The Mental Health Literacy Collaborative, about how important it is for adults - and kids K-12 - to better understand mental health.

Just as members of a family have different roles to play and different patterns of behavior they keep, so too can our family dynamics play out in the workplace. We bring with us to work our feelings about how we should assert ourselves, ask for help, deal with failure and more - all behaviors we learn in our family system growing up. Deborah Ancona, a Professor of Organization Studies, and the Founder of the MIT Leadership Center at the MIT Sloan School of Management, calls these behaviors “ghosts,”and they’re not all bad. Ancona shares her research and experience on how family systems affect us at work. Check out our previous episode on family systems theory: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5ZNknArKLeGB9JATPFZkJb Read Deborah's Artile: https://hbr.org/2022/01/family-ghosts-in-the-executive-suite

Anxiety rarely feels good, so it might feel counterintuitive to think about it as a positive thing. But in this episode, we revisit a conversation with Wendy Suzuki, an NYU neuroscientist who studies neuroplasticity. Anxiety can bring benefits to performance and work, and we can reframe our relationship with this challenging but necessary emotion. Suzuki is the author of the book “Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion.” Learn more about Wendy here: https://www.wendysuzuki.com/

In the quest to be a more empathetic and effective leader or manager, the lens of trauma-informed leadership might be helpful for you. It’s the idea that all people have various forms of trauma that they carry with them to the workplace, and that leaders should approach situations at work accordingly. Matthew Cooke, partner at the coaching, consulting and investment firm Evolution, is a big proponent of this kind of thinking. He explains how a trauma-informed leader might view or act in situations differently, the skills and resources used for managing through tough moments, and how you can apply the concepts to your own work. Learn more about trauma-informed leadership: https://healthadministrationdegree.usc.edu/blog/trauma-informed-leadership https://accelerate.uofuhealth.utah.edu/leadership/five-ways-to-practice-trauma-informed-leadership https://www.fastcompany.com/90836621/we-need-trauma-informed-leadership-in-the-workplace https://evolution.team/matthew-cooke

Heather Hansen challenges the notion of "good" and "bad" English. Good communication is about getting the message across. She’s based in Singapore and helps executives with their linguistic and communication skills. Hansen is helping us tackle a real problem in our increasingly globalized work world: accent bias. Hansen is on a mission to help increase awareness about our assumptions of what “perfect” English sounds like-- and what we think a good leader sounds like. She explains the negative impacts that accent bias can have, and how we can fight it. To learn more about Heather, check out her TedTalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/heather_hansen_2_billion_voices_how_to_speak_bad_english_perfectly

Uncertainty and anxiety are highly linked in our brains: when we aren’t sure what will happen, we often go into planning, defensive mode, trying to come up with every possible scenario and ensure a good outcome. Author Maggie Jackson looks at the ways that better managing uncertainty - like anxiety - is an essential skill. Reframing uncertainty helps us perform in challenging times. Jackson shares the latest brain science and shows being more comfortable in the unknown can help our careers and our success. More about her book: https://www.maggie-jackson.com/uncertain

We all have big moments that shift the course of our life - and our relationship with those moments also change over time. Dan Harris was a long time TV journalist when he had a panic attack on air in 2004. That set in motion a different course in his life - where he began meditating, finding healthier ways to manage his anxiety, and hosting the podcast 10 Percent Happier. On the tenth anniversary of his book 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Really Works – a True Story he speaks with Morra Aarons-Mele about how work and public discussions of mental health has changed, how he views his life changing moment now, and what he wants next. Check out his book here: https://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-10th-Anniversary-Works-dp-0063356473/dp/0063356473/ref=dp_ob_title_bk And listen to his podcast: https://pod.link/1087147821

You know the feeling when you know that something is off with a relationship at work, but feel like you can’t speak up? Many of us have felt this feeling but haven’t known how to describe it or work through it in a healthy way. Toxic bosses and coworkers are super common, and can send negative ripple effects throughout the organization, far beyond a one on one relationship. Benish Shah was a trusted colleague of mine and she wrote the column “Is it Toxic?” to help workers navigate tricky situations in their jobs. In this episode, we get her expertise on how to deal with toxic bosses and coworkers in helpful and strategic ways. We lost Benish suddenly in December, but I’m honored to share some of the work that was so important to her and to help continue her impact. Read Benish’s column here: https://www.themuse.com/advice/is-it-toxic-column-supportive-manager-180-grilling-nitpicking-micromanaging

We put so much of ourselves and our identity into our work; that’s especially true for entrepreneurs. It can be hard to deal with the emotions of selling the business you started, even when it’s the outcome you dreamed of. In this episode, we speak with two very different entrepreneurs about how their lives and mental health have changed over time, as they’ve created and sold businesses and changed career paths. Bob Glazer is the founder of Acceleration Partners as well as the author of several books. Michael Kaplan is former CEO of Fashion to Figure, and part of the family that started the company Lane Bryant. Both share the ups and downs of their entrepreneurial journeys. Learn more about Bob: https://robertglazer.com/ Learn more about Michael: https://www.alumni.hbs.edu/stories/Pages/story-bulletin.aspx?num=2490 https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-kaplan-7679828/

For many of us, anxiety is a partner on our journey of life: it is always there. But a helpful reframe could also be the idea that anxiety is a habit. And the good news is: habits are something we can break. We’ll learn about how to recognize these habits and change them, especially at work. In this episode Morra speaks with Dr. Judson Brewer, author of “Unwinding Anxiety” and journalist Charles Duhigg, author of “The Power of Habit” as well as the new book “Supercommunicators.” Check out Jud’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/Unwinding-Anxiety-Science-Shows-Cycles/dp/0593330447 You can find Charles’ books here: https://www.amazon.com/Supercommunicators-Unlock-Secret-Language-Connection/dp/0593243919 https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

How far have we come in terms of mental health at organizations, and how far do we still need to go? Kristin Maczko leads Strategic People Programs for Synopsys, but formerly served as the Head of Health and Wellbeing at Google before recently being laid off. She speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele about how she’s seen workplace structures around mental health shift over time, the mistaken idea of mental health being only the individual’s responsibility, and how we separate our jobs from our core sense of self and value. Hear more about Kristin on her podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-self-at-work/id1686526288

Studies show that over 70 percent of us feel imposter syndrome at one time or another. But there’s a lot we still don’t know about the why, the how, the what. In this episode, imposter syndrome expert Lisa Orbe-Austin returns to the show to talk about the latest research, how we can start fresh this year, and what’s really holding us back in our careers. Learn more about Lisa Orbe-Austin here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisaorbeaustin/

Congressman Adam Smith spent years quietly struggling with both anxiety and physical pain, while serving the people of his state and the entire country in Washington D.C. For many years, holding public office meant hiding things like mental health struggles, but things have changed recently. He speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele about what his anxiety felt like (running on a treadmill that was slowly speeding up), how it impacted his job, how it has made him more empathetic, and how he hopes to change the conversation. Find his book here: https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Broken-Journey-Chronic-Crippling/dp/0757324622

Leaders out there who are guilty of micromanaging might not immediately realize that it comes from a need for control, and probably a bit of anxiety. On the other side of the table, being micromanaged can have really negative impacts on our mental health. In this episode, we speak with Dr. Julia Milner, a leadership professor at EDHEC Business School, about how to recognize, handle, and prevent micromanaging in your work. Read more here.

Charlene Li is someone who has spent her career focusing on digital transformations and disruptive leadership. And she practices what she preaches - she even helped host Morra Aarons-Mele set up an AI (check out morra.ai). Li shares how to define your individual purpose and find the motivation to “be great” in this special LinkedIn Live. Read more: https://charleneli.com/thinking/

What can we learn about performance and mental health from professional athletes? As we start a new year off, Morra Aarons-Mele revisits her conversations with sports and performance psychologist Alex Auerbach, who works with the Toronto Raptors; and with former NFL star Ryan Mundy, who now runs a mental health start-up called Alkeme Health. Learn more about Alex: https://twitter.com/AlexAuerbachPhD?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Learn more about Ryan and Alkeme Health: https://alkemehealth.com/

The limelight - and appreciation - given to medical professionals early in the pandemic has largely faded, but the stresses they face continue. In this episode, Morra speaks to a veterinarian and a physician about their personal mental health, compassion fatigue, and making decisions that go against the grain. Her guests are Chief Medical Officer at Mars Veterinary Health Molly McAllister and Dr. Ariela Marshall, a hematologist and health entrepreneur.

Do you feel lonely, even when you’re almost never alone? It’s a common feeling for many workers in the U.S. right now - with around 50 percent of Americans experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. That sense of loneliness has a huge impact on our collective mental health as well. U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele in this special LinkedIn Live episode about what we can all do to improve the situation. Learn more here: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

Ever been at work and everyone starts talking about their recent trip to Italy, or their Ivy League college reunion coming up… and you just feel left out? Beyond money, class is something that also involves culture and it shows up everywhere - including at work. The stress we feel around class can have a big impact on our mental health, and it’s likely that our class also impacts how we approach our mental health. In this episode, we chat through all the ins and outs of class with Jonathan Menjivar, the host of the podcast Classy. Listen to his show here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/classy-with-jonathan-menjivar/id1692818989

The working world has gotten a lot more open about a lot of things, from mental health challenges to the realities of being a working parent. But a topic that is still taboo for many is the subject of menopause. Today's guests share why understanding more about this phase of life and how it affects women's physical and mental health is paramount to running a successful organization. In this episode Morra speaks with Dan Simons, cofounder of Farmers Restaurant Group, a business with $100 million in revenue. He’s on a personal mission to normalize conversations about menopause at work as part of a larger part of his leadership which includes being more open about mental health. Joining the conversation with her perspective is Amy Gallo: author, contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, and cohost of the HBR podcast Women at Work. Read Dan's blog post here: https://medium.com/@dansimonssays/menopause-menallpause-leadersallpause-2fff22228dc0

Many in the U.S. this week are celebrating the holiday of Thanksgiving - which, unfortunately for many, can mean difficult conversations with family about money, politics, and even the past. At a time when old habits can re-emerge for people, host Morra Aarons-Mele revisits a conversation with Kathleen Smith about family systems theory. The role we played in our family of origin shapes how we show up as a leader and colleague. Smith is a writer, therapist, and associate faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.

Today’s guest always seemed to seek out chaos in his career. It wasn’t until a diagnosis that he learned to manage his emotions, stay still, and practice consistency as a leader. Bryce Seto is an SVP of Business Strategy and Business Development, and has been managing borderline personality disorder since he was diagnosed several years ago. He’s also cofounder of the Blossom Mental Health Fund and has been writing about his experience with BPD to decrease stigma and help the work world better understand what he - and so many others - goes through. Read more about his story here: https://www.bryceseto.com/p/borderline-boy

Farnoosh Torabi is a veteran journalist and personal finance expert who has spent much of her life trying to help others have a healthier relationship with money. But we all have hangups, and varying degrees of anxiety when it comes to how we make money and how we measure success. She speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele in this special LinkedIn live interview about her new book A Healthy State of Panic: Follow Your Fears to Build Wealth, Crush Your Career, and Win at Life. She says that in some ways facing our fears can help improve our mental health and our overall lives.

Speaking up is an essential skill in work and in leadership, but it can be scary and anxiety-inducing for many of us. This week, Morra Aarons-Mele speaks with executive coach Nihar Chhaya about how can speak up more strategically, get what you want, and manage your mental health.

Everyone needs support at work, whether that comes in the form of coaching, therapy, some combination - or something else. In this episode we look at the specific kinds of challenges that executives face with burnout and breakdowns with executive coach Dr. Chris Bittinger. We’ll learn more about coaching versus therapy, the work he does at Open Pivot, and his own mental health journey.

While information about the connection between food, gut health, and our overall well-being has come into the spotlight in recent years, it can still often be something that only the privileged have time, money, and energy to devote to. Kimberley Wilson is hoping to change that. She’s a psychologist with a degree in nutrition, and author of the books How to Build a Healthy Brain and Unprocessed: How the Food We Eat is Fueling our Mental Health Crisis. Wilson explains how deep the connection is between mental health and what we eat, how that shows up in our daily lives, and why these ideas matter for everyone.

It was an emotional and scary week for millions of people around the world following the horrific attacks in Israel and subsequent ramp up of war. In this episode, we return to Rebecca Soffer, author of “The Modern Loss Handbook.” to offer up thoughts on dealing with grief - and work - through such a tragedy, and we share her previous episode on grief for helpful frameworks.

Anthony Sartori knows just how overlooked the mental health of retail workers can be. After finishing college in 2018, and seeing the plight of frontline workers during the beginning of the global pandemic, Sartori started the nonprofit Evolving Minds. He speaks with Morra Aarons-Mele about the goal of the organization and how companies can work to improve the lives of retail employees.

We bring ourselves to work - or to our Zoom calls - every day with the desire to be professional and to achieve. That often means trying to put whatever else is going on in our world aside, but it’s a lot easier said than done. Cynthia Kane is a certified meditation and mindfulness instructor who focuses on communication routines. She explains to host Morra Aarons-Mele why it’s so hard to focus sometimes, how that can impact our interpersonal relationships, and what we can do about it. Plus, why we fall back on communication patterns like being passive-aggressive, and how to break those habits. Learn more about Cynthia's work here: www.kanecommunicate.com

Gabe Howard had a successful tech career when, at the age of 26, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To the outside world, many people thought it was merely a case of an inflated ego. After going through a divorce, losing his job, and getting through the scare of losing health insurance, he came out the other side as a speaker and activist. Howard is the host of a number of podcasts including “Inside Mental Health,” and he speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele about his 2003 diagnosis, how it impacted his career, and what people still misunderstand both in and outside of the workplace about bipolar disorder. Hear more of Howard's podcasts here: https://www.gabehoward.com/podcasts/

A huge part of breaking down stigma around mental health challenges at work is about being open and honest about our experiences. Mita Mallick is head of Inclusion, Equity and Impact at Carta and host of the LinkedIn podcast Brown Table Talk, and she speaks publicly about injustices she herself has seen and felt in her career. We speak about becoming a public figure, changing toxic workplace culture, and anxiety around achievement. Check out Mita’s new book here: https://www.amazon.com/Reimagine-Inclusion-Debunking-Transform-Workplace/dp/1394177097

We continue the conversation with Dean Yates, a Tasmania-based mental health advocate, former journalist, and author of the book Line in the Sand.

Dean Yates was a foreign correspondent and worked for Reuters for decades until the traumatic events he witnessed took their toll. Over time, he realized he was struggling with PTSD - while at the same time realized his company was pushing him out. He shares his story of why he began reporting in the first place, the uncomfortable truths about PTSD, and how he wants workplaces to change.

The public school system in the U.S. lost at least 300,000 public school teachers and administrators between February 2020 and May 2022, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Post-pandemic, some of that strain has abated, but many of the underlying causes for quitting, burnout and other mental health challenges remain. At the start of the school year, we speak to Houston-based middle school teacher Crystal Frommert about the unique challenges and anxieties that teachers face in their profession and what she’s learned about better handling those challenges. You can check out her book here: https://www.amazon.com/When-Calling-Parents-Isnt-Your/dp/B0BZFLDRSR#:~:text=When%20Calling%20Parents%20isn't%20Your%20Calling%20is%20a%20how,night%2C%20conferences%2C%20and%20more

The first time that Russell Glass tried meditation, he wasn’t really sure what to make of it. Flash-forward several years and lots of practice later, Glass is now the CEO of Headspace, the mental health and meditation app. He speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele about his own experience with anxiety and imposter syndrome as an entrepreneur, why he was drawn to Headspace as a company, and loneliness and the importance of human connection at work. They also talk through the bold policies he has in place to continue to make sure Headspace practices what it preaches as an organization.

Host Morra Aaons-Mele has an informal chat with author and entrepreneur Meredith Arthur about how Wegovy - a drug similar to Ozempic - has changed her life, and reduced what she calls “food noise”.

Tara McMullin was diagnosed with autism at the age of 38, and it put her previous struggles with work and the structures we have around work in a new light. Now, she knows how to build her work day and work relationships in a way that’s healthier for how her brain works. The author and business coach shares what work was like for her before and after diagnosis, and what anyone in the work world can learn about controlling how and when they work. You can listen to Tara’s podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-works/id1054027973

Do you ever wonder if you are “aging out?” This week, Morra Aarons-Mele speaks with executive coach Nihar Chhaya about the realities of age bias, expectations, and the stress it brings. Catch more of Morra and Nihar’s LinkedIn Live sessions here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morraaaronsmele/

High achievers and those who struggle with mental health often find it hard to give themselves compassion. We revisit one of our favorite episodes about self-compassion, featuring Mark Goldstein, a lawyer at Reed Smith who speaks about his journey with depression, OCD, and breaking down stigmas; and psychologist and author Dr. Kristin Neff on how people can build more self-compassion to impact their work and lives. Learn more about Mark Goldstein’s story: https://abovethelaw.com/2019/02/biglaw-depression-story/ Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Exercises: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#exercises

We don’t always immediately see the ways that anxiety, trauma, or institutional inequities show up for us - and our bodies - at work. Deepa Purushothaman began her career as a classic overachiever, until she couldn’t physically do it anymore. She was done “ingesting” toxic work culture and “acting in” her emotions, as she puts it. She came to realize a lot of the ways that corporate America can be toxic for women of color in particular, and she set out to change that. Purushothaman is the cofounder of nFormation, and she wrote the book The First, The Few, The Only: How Women of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America.

Today, Jeff Dewing runs a successful facilities management technology corporation. He’s had a dramatic career. Mark began his career in refrigeration repair but quickly got bit by the entrepreneurship bug. Over his lifetime he’s seen the ups and downs of his industry and the working world, and has learned to embrace vulnerability and mental health concerns on his way to running a better company. That includes a moment during the pandemic where he cried during an all-staff meeting - and had to admit, “I don’t know what to do.” Learn what he’s learned from great successes and great failures, and how he believes leadership today is changing.

Older generations have heard the stereotypes, and maybe seen anecdotal evidence that supports these biases: Gen Z, newish to the workforce, is a bit too aware of their feelings and their mental health; but sometimes we just need them to do the work. In this LinkedIn Live session, Morra Aarons-Mele speaks with executive coach Nihar Chhaya about ways to reframe intergenerational conflict at the office, especially as it pertains to being open around mental health concerns.

Multi-level marketing businesses, or MLMs, offer people - often women who don’t work outside the home - the chance to be entrepreneurs, face new challenges, and grow their social circles. The reality is a situation that can prey on mental health issues, the emotional strain and isolation of motherhood, and even trigger substance abuse concerns. Sobriety coach, author, and former MLM worker Emily Paulson shares the story of how she came to MLM, the career she hoped she’d have, how stuck she felt, and how she’s now working to help others. Learn more: https://www.amazon.com/Hey-Hun-Sisterhood-Supremacy-Multilevel/dp/1955905258 https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/mlms-exploit-mental-health-conditions-chronic-illness-disability/ https://www.scarymommy.com/mlm-selling-affects-womens-mental-health

Natasha Bowman always thought of herself as a goal conqueror: someone who could seemingly take on any project, multitask any number of things, and come out on top. It wasn’t until the global pandemic temporarily slammed on the brakes of her career that some of the underlying reasons for this came to the surface. At age 42, the HR executive was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She speaks with Morra Aarons-Mele about the events that led up to her diagnosis, and how she integrates her mental health with her achievement and success today. Bowman is the author of the book Crazy A.F.: How to go from being burned out, unmotivated & unhappy to reclaiming your mental health at work. A note that this episode includes brief mentions of suicide and self-harm.

Morra Aarons-Mele speaks with executive coach Nihar Chhaya about what Morra calls the "triangle of doom" - envy, shame and scarcity - as part of their regular LinkedIn Live series. These concepts are natural feelings that we all deal with at some point in our lives, but that can really hamper our productivity, and our careers. It's time to get honest about them. Nihar and Morra offer their strategies for managing envy, FOMO, and shame.

With all of the issues in corporate America, in startup culture, and in workplaces biases and inequalities, it can be easy to forget the ways in which work can be a positive part of our life. Susan Schmitt Winchester, co-author of Healing at Work: A Guide to Using Career Conflicts to Overcome Your Past and Build the Future You Deserve, argues that the workplace is actually a better place than we think. Host Morra Aarons-Mele revisits this conversation with Schmitt about our working lives, how our childhood trauma might show up, and how to use our workplaces - in person or remote - as settings to change our behavior and our mental health.

Have you ever daydreamed about quitting your stressful job and hitting the open road? It isn’t something everyone can afford to do with their time and money. But it is something people sometimes do when they face incredible burnout, loss of self, depression, and more. Daryll Henrich has spent the better part of the year on the road on his motorcycle after leaving his job as a VP at Google last September. He was an early advocate for better mental health at work, and developed strong internal leadership capacity when he became open about his depression. He reflects on how anxiety and depression shaped career decisions and what he wants now.

For many people, the choice between a corporate job or entrepreneurship comes down to the freedom and flexibility they might get on their own… versus the stability and paycheck they get at work. But in a time when many feel workplaces are toxic, that calculus is harder than ever. In this LinkedIn Live session, Morra Aarons-Mele speaks with executive coach Nihar Chhaya about how they both made this personal decision, their advice for others trying to decide, and how it relates to mental health.