Thank God I'm Atheist

A very large water bill gets settled in the Middle East, another cure for homosexuality discovered, man pretends to be gay (for a year!), and talk of secession and its religious overtones.

Ratzinger declares war on Christmas, Mormon Dems fast for nation, Michigan needlessly tries to outlaw Sharia law, the "Muslim 500," Church of England rejects women, and Dan and Frank design their ideal religions.

Anti-gay, Christian, child ographer; lying textbooks; a really bad statue of the pope; a woman in Ireland dies when denied an abortion; and public displays of Christmas.

Mayans say no to the capitalization of their calendar, being Atheist a plus on OKCupid, Atheists sue IRS for failure to monitor church policking, and Dan and Frank discuss the Ten Commandments—basically... they suck.

Drive-thru church, post-election layoffs, the Egyptian pope prefers secularism, and TGIA's very own "clip show."

Utah gets a new license plate, Sistine Chapel turns 500, church-going teens attend college at higher rate than those who don't, Catholic bishop orders priests to read anti-Obama letter over the pulpit, and a look at the role religious affiliation might play in the election.

Muslims perform animal sacrifice in Salt Lake City (and everywhere else, apparently), the Mormons plan an attraction in Rome, women arrested for praying at the temple wall in Jerusalem, Boy Scout's perversion files don't include enough Mormons (statistically speaking), and the Book of Mormon doesn't stand up to archeological scrutiny.

Newsweek breaks journalistic ground, space aliens beat out god in poll, Muslims celebrate pork-free vaccination, cheerleaders bring god into it, and get your "tebowing" in now before you have to pay a royalty.

Mormons fasting for Romney apparently working; Tim Tebow takes a knee for the mark of the beast; if you find out your dentist is Amish, RUN; Mormon God changes mind about missionary building in Provo; and watch out, the Catholics might be coming to your door!

LDS General Conference is in full swing: Mormon missionaries are now even YOUNGER and (surprise, surprise) Mormon leadership takes a stand against homosexuality (this time swinging for same sex parents), Oklahoma Christians pray against a new casino, and according to the Vatican the butler did it.

God punishes the Pope for hating on gays, the Boy Scouts of America takes a page from churches the world over and cover up hundreds of molestations, and Mormons "fast and pray" for Romney. Dave fills in for Frank, and we play a delightful interview with noted atheist blogger Greta Christina.

Dan and Frank interview Dr. Darrel Ray about his dirty book, Iranian woman kicks some butt, Mitt Romney denies his faith, Mormons as hoarders, Spanish painting-ruiner demands her due, U.S. pastors dare the IRS to shut them down, and everybody is a little less tolerant of everybody else.

Dan defends homosexuality as deviant, Muslims go crazy about portrayal of Muhammad... (once again), Catholics say no to gay marriage in real estate deal, frequent Bible reading makes people more aware of social justice (???), and Frank and Dan go to the temple.

Cardinal Dolan prays at the DNC, Dems cave on god, anti-Muslim activists outraged over the truth, Bill Nye, and what the hell is Atheism Plus?

Dan goes to Burning Man, Arizona redefines conception, Mormons can now drink Coke and Pepsi, and an Indiana man pays the price for flipping off Mormon missionaries.

NBC affiliate in Salt Lake refuses to run gay themed show, Christians hike for toads, Mormon men are just as religious as Mormon women, Louisiana school vouchers, and being an out Atheist doesn't mean you have to be test out the blasphemy laws of so called Muslim countries.

Two hate groups claim they're not hate groups (and try to get the court to agree with them), Orthodox Jews get some blurry glasses, Mormon women get all uppity and somehow DON'T ask for equality in church, Satan takes over a school cafeteria, and Frank attends a taping of a new program for Showtime.

What Mormons Believe: D&C 132 "Celestial Marriage," Murfreesboro Mosque gets built and opens, the LDS penis biter hits the news, Obama hosts a Ramadan dinner at White House, Missouri passes "right to prayer" amendment, and an idiot douchebag talk radio personality calls for "underground railroad" to kidnap children of gays and lesbians.

Mr. Romney goes to Israel, Eagle Scouts resign in support of gay rights, Putin "generously" calls for light punishment of his critics, racist church in Mississippi refuses to marry black couple, and WHAT MORMONS BELIEVE: Jesus in America.

Dan attends a Mormon funeral, Chick-Fil-A, an Air Force chaplain leaves Southern Baptists over gay marriage, a recent poll shows that Americans don't relate to Romney's faith, and more stupid explanations for why James Holmes opened fire in Aurora.

Christians form an alternative to health insurance, the debate over circumcision continues in Germany, a douchebag in Texas responds to the shootings in Aurora, the LDS Church reports numbers out of touch with reality (once again), and Dan and Frank respond to emails.

Mormon Inc hits the cover of Business Week, pastors' health suffers while tending to flock, Mormons urged to follow the prophet and support distasteful development, more high school Atheist clubs, and how do Muslim athletes observe Ramadan during the Olympics?

Dan's back and has news from Europe, Mongolians re-enact 19th Century Mormon exodus across the US plains, critical thinkers lose faith, and the Virgin Mary helps some Bosnians rip off pilgrims.

Rachel sits in for Dan, a miracle saves a home from wildfire, Mormons excited about Romney but leery of national attention, Obamacare as a Christian value, a group of ex-Mormons resign en masse and go for a hike, German court calls for the end to infant circumcision, and fireworks are lame.

Adam's back and he's got a case of the dizzies, Evangelicals strangely silent on Romney's Mormonism, social-entreprenuer claims success is a miracle, ministers turn Atheist, a kid gets in trouble for a picture of Jesus, and we do a very quick movie review of the oldie-but-goodie documentary, "Hell House."

The Vatican continues to harass American nuns, President Obama gets lynched in effigy, soon we'll all be Atheists, the KKK tries to adopt a highway, and a homosexual man comes out as married to a woman.

The CDC wieghs in on the zombie issue, book banning in Pennsylvania, Atheists do good for different reasons than religious people, and in this installment of What Mormons Believe we look at Mormons and homosexuality.

Alain de Botton calls for a new kind of ; Obama hires a faith outreach advisor; double suicide goes wrong, survivor charged with murder; origin of homemade soda machines improperly labeled; Mormons cover up immodest angels; and Dan asks for an interview and gets one with the Bishop of London.

Adam sits in for Dan (and we never get to the Taoist discussion, BTW), dirty dancing gets cleaned up, turns out Jesus doesn't approve of gay marriage, SLC shocks America as the most religious city in the country, and Frank and Adam discuss having a day of rest.

Kansas finds a clever way to ban sharia law, thinking of god increases self-control, Fox News spins Obama's support of gay marriage, and Dan does a church review from merry old England.

Mormons promote membership numbers that don't jive with reality, "Angry Queers" damage church, Millennials shun belief, curing gayness with violence, and can't we all just stop overusing the word "Nazi?"

What Mormons Believe: Polygamy. Joe the plumber writes a letter, voters no longer swayed by gay marriage, a war rages on twitter, and Romney runs from his Mormon ancestors.

Mormons tear down their own history, Arizona OK's teaching the Bible in public schools, Vatican cracks down on US nuns, and advice both good and bad flows to and from the TGIA studio.

Glenn Beck declares us all evil, Britain's Christians are under attack, the US Army wants YOU... to be spiritual, Frank gets racist and Dan gets "comforted" by some Jay-Dubs.

Russian watch miracle, Mormons and Gentiles, kosher pot cookies, praying for God to hurt people not illegal, existance of Jesus, and the Mormon affinity for Jews.

Frank and Dan emplain LDS Temple Garments (Mormon underwear), progressive Muslims launch women-led mosques, Mormon bloggers get hateful about gays on BYU campus, Britain considers legalizing gay marriage, Jimmy Carter does something amazing, and Dan plays a guessing game.

Mohammed (peace be upon him) tells everybody how to poo in a special "what Muslims believe" segment, the reason rally raises ire even in Dan and Frank, Episcopal roguery, an atheist temple is proposed, and Alaskans try to protect the rights of the fathers of aborted babies.

Red Bull drops Jesus ad, offensive Atheist billboard gets pulled down in Pennsylvania, exorcists attack abortion clinic, and "What Mormons Believe" recounts the first storyline in the Book of Mormon.

More of these goddam Atheist billboards, another "What Mormons Believe," Gingrich chimes in about "anti-Christian" programming on ABC, and the Vatican gets tagged as a "money laundering concern."

Baptisms for the dead, Helen Radkey loses access to LDS geneological records, Miley Cyrus makes sense, teen exorcists, history of Mormon racism, and we take another call.

Guest host Adam fills in for Dan, all dead Mormons are now gay, Amish buggies get new reflective tape, seven reasons Obama isn't Christian, and Dan leaves us a little gift before leaving town.

Candidates observe Ash Wednesday, Anne Frank becomes a Mormon, Poe's law strikes again, Santorum defends comments about Satan, "activist" judges side with religious pharmacists, and black atheists recognized for role in civil rights movement.

Please help us out and vote for us in City Weekly's Best of Utah awards. Listen to this "episode" for instuctions on how to help, and for a little fun as well. NEW LISTENERS: NOT OUR NORMAL FORMAT.

2012 = Year of the Bible, Westboro Baptist Church inadvertantly helps raise money for HRC, God doesn't want teachers paid more, Obama claims the Bible is on his side, and another installement of "What Mormons Believe."

De-baptism, ministerial exception, a homophobic state senator gets kicked out of a Tennessee restaurant, local transit agency denies atheists advertising space on city busses, and our second installent of "What Mormons Believe."

Church review! Christian conspiracies, Indonesian atheist arrested, Jay Leno sued for bad joke, Catholics take Newt and Santorum to task, and Warren Jeffs calls the nation to repent.

Installment 1 of "What Mormons Believe": the war in heaven, mark of Cain, and Satan vies for the role of Jesus. Also: Romney = kind of a jerk toward women, school prayer banner ordered taken down, and Christians as a religious minority in the US.

The Pope says gay marriage is a threat to future of humanity, lawmakers in Indiana want schools to be able to require recitation of the Lord's Prayer, Warren Jeffs wants you to know how your hometown will be destroyed, and Mary appears to a bunch of Mary's.

A Romney presidency, the Iowa caucus, Catholics up in arms over gay adoptions, woman pulled over for wearing a burka, our prayer for Pat Robertson, and we take another call.

Another church review, priests brawl in Bethlehem, we take another caller, and a sock wrinkles to form Christ's visage.