Tell it Proud

In this episode of Sway Them in Color I speak with Oshoke Pamela Abalu, an architect and futurist, who was the Chief Architect for MetLife's $1 billion inclusive workplace redesign. She pioneers human-centered design solutions that infuse consciousness, energy flow, and inclusivity into global workplace transformations. She is a gifted design thinker and diversity advocate who has moved the needle, shattered glass ceilings, and enabled a broader conversation on diversity for organizations. Faculty member at The Inner MBA and a Crain's 40 Under 40 honoree, Oshoke and her work have been featured in TIME, Smart Planet, Real Simple Magazine, Domino Magazine, Interior Design Magazine, ABC, NBC, Fast Company, TED and more. In this conversation we discuss: how our families of origin impact our life paths how to change the narrative on your abilities when changing careers 3 principles for being more inclusive and purpose driven in your work why we need new terms for diversity and belonging and how the term symphony showcases inclusion as the greatest innovation.

Dr. Akilah Cadet is the founder of Change Cadet consulting, which offers a broad array of services including executive coaching, strategic planning, innovation, and diversity facilitation. Cadet is a French term that means soldier (and happens to be Akilah's last name). As it's often an uphill battle for women and people of color to achieve success in the workplace, Change Cadet prepare soldiers of change to overcome these continuous battles to be their best selves. Akilah has 15+ years of experience working in various organizations, with both private and public sector companies. She has literally all the degrees, lives in Oakland, and is a proud Beyoncé advocate. In this episode of Sway Them In Color Dr. Cadet and I get into: Managing severe depression and microaggressions with health practitioners How bias can show up in so many unexpected places, from therapists to bosses How conformity is false sense of professionalism When to walk away from money especially when it is out of line with your values Why we shouldn't code switch, even in predominantly white male leadership circles Why you should always negotiate for your financial worth, whether taking a new job or selling services from your company

Oppression pass (n): a term I've coined about the belief that because you are liberal, marginalized yourself, like black people/have one black friend/ are married to a black person/have black children you don't participate in or perpetuate in white supremacy. My dear friends, I'm here to let you know oppression passes are being handed out like it's six flags, but they don't exist. In this episode of Sway Them In Color I unpack five key narrative myths many liberal people, in particular white people, believe around racism that keeps white supremacy alive including: myth 1: if I know/am married to/friends with a black person, I am not racist myth 2: systemic racism doesn't exist, social outcomes are always from individual effort/character flaw myth 3: the only form of protest that's acceptable is peaceful protest myth 4: I am marginalized myself (gay etc) I can't be racist myth 5: I identify as a liberal thus I am not racist Take a dive in, listen, learn, and share. For every gain in human rights, we have always had set backs. After slavery was banned, Jim crow was born. After the voting rights act of '65, states used loop hole measures to make voting damn near impossible for marginalized groups empowered by the act to go to the polls. Our system has never been designed with equality in mind and has terrorized black folks for centuries. It has never worked for everyone especially public policy, police, and the justice system. The silver lining in strife is busting narrative myths allows us to build a new reality. People of color, especially black people, are painfully aware of how broken it's always been, so now we need to design something new and white people must be deeply involved in examining themselves and their own ideology for white supremacy to truly change.

With every growth spurt I've gone through, both physically and mentally, there's been a mark left it its wake, a story no longer fitting cast aside. When we cast off rituals or social expectations that don't feel good, or match who we've become, what new stories do we adopt to chase our curiosity and build the lives/businesses/world we want to see? In this episode of Sway Them In Color Georgie-Ann Getton-Mckoy discuss these ideas, diving into: figuring out what seems impossible with limited resources and access how the skills of motherhood translate to powerful skills at work why curiosity and learning is a critical tool for expanding your network even if you're an only (only woman, only person of color etc) in the groups you're entering into. Georgie-Ann Getton-Mckoy is an Execution strategist, married mom of 2, serial entrepreneur, community builder, speaker, author, & Diversity in Tech Enthusiast. She loves learning as well as teaching new and creative ways to find solutions to problems. She is here to help others become more productive, execute on their ideas, & go from being a dreamer to being a doer. You can find her work online at https://gsdwithgeorgie.com and @gsdwithgeorgie on IG, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

I can't tell you the number of times I have talked with friends about social and political issues with deep sadness and anguish. From white nationalist protestors, hate crimes against innocent black men and women, incompetent leaders, to the imminent tension of racism and unaddressed social wounds this country has, there's a lot of generational pain bubbling to the surface. Social media gives us a window into this pain with a 24/7 cycle of information. Adversity can be channeled and processed through creativity, and there's incredible power in our own stories. In this episode of Sway Them In Color I speak to Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of New York Time's bestselling anti-helicopter parenting manifesto, How to Raise an Adult, and of award-winning memoir, Real American, on growing up Black and biracial in white spaces. Juile has also given a TED Talk that has over 4 million views and counting. As a former corporate lawyer and university dean, she's now entirely focused on writing and ideas and is inspired by people who tell their stories. In this conversation we discuss: how racism affects self esteem discovering your true identity beyond other people's judgements and biases creative expression as a form of healing from injustice and working through pain and suffering through writing the best thing leaders can do to better engage other people's talents no matter their background or title You can check out her work at julielythcotthaims.com at @jlythcotthaims on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Pain is something we take large precautions to avoid. The psychical pain of accidents, ill health, and pushing our bodies to our limits. The mental pain of stress, fear, betrayal, and turmoil. Pain is complex, at times it's unavoidable, seeping into your bones and mind. We cannot control how pain occurs, but we can control how we react to it. In this conversation of Sway Them In Color I speak with Alanna Gardner, a therapist, fitness instructor, and heart attack survivor who uses her background to help individuals become emotional athletes; developing the skills and tools necessary to have emotional resilience throughout life's most difficult challenges. We discuss: the term "emotional athleticism" and how it can help you face challenges in life how the ways we respond to adversity shape the trajectory of our lives how to build resiliency during a major setback how society knocks the sensitivity out of people how being able to sit with pain is a part of the healing process

What do you do when life hands you a big ol' stanky basket of lemons? You make the most delicious remixed lemonade (with probably a splash of whiskey). In this episode of Sway them my Color my guest and I dive into her journey of building a career during the 2008 economic crisis, and how she went from odd jobs to tech giants and is now in the innovation space. We discuss: bouncing back after a rescission why balancing stability and flexibility when going through periods of growth and change is key to survival why ego driven leadership is bad for innovation and what actually works Brittney Dimes is a thirteen year Austin veteran by way of Houston. During this time she's owned and operated a national pageant system, worked for tech giants like Google, Favor and Bumble, all the while building a mobile bar catering business in the background, Party Pulse, which is growing every day. And is now the acting Director of Operations for Thinktiv, a value-driven innovation firm that partners with Private Equity leaders, VC-funded companies, and Early-Stage founders to create what's next. You can learn more about her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/partypulseatx/ or @b.dimes on Instagram

My relationship with my body and health is a complicated one. There are days where I feel strong, and curvy and sexy. I can kill an HIIT class. I'm at the top of intense spin classes on leaderboards. I can squat over 150 and-some change-pounds. But I have days where I weigh myself non-stop, grapple with every morsel that comes into my mouth, and beat myself up for not being whatever conventional idea of being "thin enough" and what defines healthy that day (which I'm sure 99.9% of people can relate to). We live in a system where health is an all or nothing conversation of punishment or morale failure, and it takes up so much of people's mental energy and vitality worrying about it. In this episode of Sway Them In Color I speak with fitness instructor and business owner Laci Chisholm who was inspired to create her dance company, Fit 4 Dance after having a major wake up call with a doctor about her health. We discuss how your interests in childhood can shed light on your career purpose, how to overcome self doubt, how a local library business plan competition helped her launch her company and how to take more risks, but also why you shouldn't just up and quit your job. If you've ever wondered what it's like to turn around your health or turn your passion and personal problems into a tangible business, this is the episode to listen to.

Romantic love, that good good, is the type of love that's fetishized as the ultimate achievement, the one type of love we must cherish and work on the most, so much so that a majority of the chatter in pop culture and society about love is centered in romantic love — how to get it, how to keep it, how to flip it and reverse it, how to bottle it, manipulate it, share it, why you want and need it, how you gone lose it — the list goes on. But love lessons typically come through a lot of trial, error, and a whole lot of tribulations (mm hmm sang it!). In this episode of Sway Them In Color I share 5 hard won lessons people don't tell you about love including: why fighting is important and how to fight fair why knowing your attachment style is key to finding compatibility what to do when dealing with betrayal why you need to stop mind reading other people's behavior

Racism and racist are triggering words. Use the R word and people clutch their pearls and run for the "not me, I'm not one of them!" hills no matter how accurate the term is to describe their behavior. The issue with this word to is it's ineffective as it's been declawed by racists who don't want the consequences of the correct labeling of their behavior, but refuse to own the truth of their racist thinking and communicating. In this episode I make a hilarious case for the power of words, why we should rebrand racism and dive into: why the term racist hasn't been rebranded since 1935 5 recently made up terms that shut down conversation on racism that are damn effective, from the term "snowflake" to "social justice warrior (SJW)" the wonderful, made up time of B.P.C -- Before Political Correctness how I wish my "race card" was an Amex why we can and should make up new words for the term racist and 3 new terms I created that gave me a deep belly laugh that people should causally start dropping in conversation when addressing racism I also sing four part harmony for fun on the episode in honor of Black History Month.

My Afro has always generated conversations well before I did. Entering rooms, blocking pictures, catching sunlight and an array of other things I'd pull out of it in surprise. Since wearing my hair naturally for the past 11 years it's been an extension of me that was much more than just incredibly curled follicles, and my guest today knows all about how much hair, especially curly hair and kinky hair, deeply affects our identities and how we show up in the world. Kim Cowans is the founder of SKIMDO the first seven day hold hair product designed to give freedom from daily hair-styling by holding curls in flexible suspension for up to a week with no parabens, no formaldehyde, and no sulphates. She is of Russian and Jamaican descent, and was raised between England and Thailand. Four years after launching SKIMDO she moved to New York City to bring the brand to the American market, and the product has gained gained cult status use amongst stylists and influencers. Kim is now in the process of finding investment to expand her impact. We dive into her journey of creating SKIMDO, from being fired from her job, to hiring chemists to help her concoct her dream product and along the way we talk about: dealing with bullying in childhood why travel can change your perspective of yourself in the best way why seeing yourself represented in the world really does matter and has an impact on your development how a lack of solutions for your unique problem can be inspiration for creating something new You can check out more about Kim at skimdo.com and on Instagram @skimdo.

"Think about the next big risk you want to take. The thing that makes you feel like your stomach is doing a backflip and you may shit your pants. The one that's terrifying to you and you've been holding off on because you don't think you're ready or you're afraid of the no or having the door slammed in your face. I want you to think what's the worst thing that can happen if you decide to take this risk?" - Me! Rejection stangss honey, but our avoidance of rejection can be the most limiting thing crushing potential ideas and dreams. In this solo episode of Sway Them In Color, I share a personal story of how I was rejected from the singing competition The Voice in an audition in New York City and the key 3 things you must do to build a tolerance to getting rejected on the path of chasing your dreams and goals. If you want to do big things, you'll have to get comfortable with facing some rejection, because there's nothing in this damn world worth pursuing without some risk and potential rejection attached to it. I also sing a few times during this episode so if you want to hear a remixxx and experience me singing four part harmony with myself because I'm a damn fool, take a listen.

We do it, we do it and we hope we do it well (shout outs LL Cool J), but we don't talk about it. Sex plays such a massive role in our lives but there's so much damn shame and secrecy and limiting beliefs about our attitudes, experiences, and wants when it comes to sex. That's why I loved speaking with Dirty Lola, someone who has blazed a trail by combining entertainment with useful information helping people with their sexuality knowledge. She is a sex edutainer, speaker, and self-proclaimed dildo slinger. Known for her live sex ed Q&A show Sex Ed A Go-Go and as co-host of New York Magazine's The Cut's "Sex Probz" web series, Lola has spent almost a decade working to end stigma and shame surrounding sex and sexuality. We dive into her many creativity and leadership lessons of building a platform and show including: The coping mechanism of fantasy and creativity for dealing with trauma Building a career with a high school diploma and not finishing college Why you should create regardless of if it's going to blow up in popularity Knowing when to take advice and when to ignore that shit when building your ideas The power of your personality when creating a platform How to get over envy and jealousy of other people's careers through professional compersion (yasss)

Labels make life simple but they provide so many stumbling blocks to truly understanding and connecting with one another. Anyone who leads has big ol' blind spots when it comes to relating to people, groups, and experiences not like their own, and my guest Rebekah "Bex" Boruki and I dive into the many ups and downs of diversity and inclusion, including: + why admitting your mistakes and collaborating with people who can speak to what you don't know makes you a more powerful leader + how to build empathy and connection when people mess up + why learning about the lives and needs of people not like yourself isn't only imperative but a necessity for thriving + the difference between diversity and inclusion Rebekah "Bex" Borucki is a mother of five, TV host, meditation and yoga guide, birth doula, and author of You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life: Simple 4-Minute Meditations for Inspiration, Transformation, and True Bliss (Hay House 2017) and her brand new book, Managing the Motherload: A Guide to Creating More Ease, Space, and Grace in Motherhood (Hay House 2019). Her mission is to make mental health support and stress management tools accessible to all, especially BIPOC (Black and Indigenous People of Color), LGBTQ+ folks, and other marginalized communities. Rebekah lives with her family and a barn-full of rescued farm animals on their 8-acre homestead in rural New Jersey. Follow her on Instagram @bexlife and Youtube YouTube.com/bexlife or her website bexlife.com.

What does it mean to be a spiritual gangster and how can our spiritual life be integrated into our careers? That's what my guest Makhosi Candiss Pitts and I dive into on today's episode. Mahkosi left a Direct Sales business where she was the top 1% seller of a $250 million company in order to travel back and forth to Africa and become a fully-initiated shaman. I went alone, not knowing what to expect, and made it through incredibly challenging tests and trials others couldn't even imagine. We discuss this journey and also cover + dealing with death at a young age + embracing your out of the box gifts + trusting your own intuition and becoming a spiritual gangster + how being your authentic self is one of your most powerful tools for influence and leadership Makhosi Candiss Pitts now helps powerful, successful yet unfulfilled people uncover their Divine Purpose and create meaningful power, prosperity, and impact in the process. She uses her experiences of becoming a top sales consultant combined with her shamanic gifts to help people reprogram their mind to align with their Authentic Self & bring their unique character traits, skills, talents, and experiences out into the world. Science tells us that for a human to be born is a 1 in 3 trillion chance; Makhosi believes that each and every one of us can impact the world by being bold enough to embrace who we were born to be, not just who others think we should be. You can check her out on Facebook and Instagram FB @MakhosiCandiss and her website www.makhosi-candiss.com.

Today is my birthday and I'm turning 32 seasoned, shea butter moist years of age. Every year during my birthday, I take the time to reflect on the past year, what I've learned, and how the hell I have survived one more glorious year on this rock revolving around the sun. From the age of 31 to 32 I took some of the biggest risks of my life - leaving my full time job, building my own company, creating and selling my ideas, speaking publicly on various stages, launching a podcast and more. In honor of this immense amount of risk and change I take this episode of the podcast to talk about the key things that helped me do the things that absolutely scared the shit out of me during this time, including: + the power of self-reflective writing to rewrite your fears, and uncover your purpose + why you should chase your curiosity to increase your happiness and get clarity when you're not sure what to do next + why your pain - especially if you're experiencing pains at your job - can be used as motivation towards your goals + why making a plan is your fastest way to get out of a rut Take a listen, and let's celebrate one more year in the books before this new decade of 2020 is upon us!

We've all been taught that we should pick a lane when it comes to creativity and our careers, but what if that is wrong? What if the best thing you can do for your mental health and success is to pursue multiple paths, side hustles and creative outlets? that's what my guest Candace Hokhett-Henley and I explore in today's episode. We discuss redefining definitions of success and struggle, the wrong ways to build your network, what to do when the people you thought you could count on don't support you, overcoming negative self-talk, how creativity doesn't have to be painful but a spiritual expression, literally coloring outside of the lines and finding unconventional inspiration, navigating with jealousy and toxic competition, and how to deal with the negative sides of corporate America. we begin our conversation with Candace describing an act of creative courage she took with building her side hustle while working full time. Candace Hoe-khett - Henley is a Culture Shaper, Story Teller, Community Builder and a Fashion Fit Expert here in NYC. BY DAY, she's a Consumer Insights Consultant, with a former trajectory at Macy's, BET, and Refinery29. Her mission-driven marketing research methods have produced cultural studies with: Macy's Plus Size Assortment Strategy and Latinx focused brand launch "Thalia", At BET she and Twitter brought the story of the power of #BlackTwitter to life for brands. Her recent work at Refinery29 has informed editorial content redefining the Fertility Spectrum of women, as well as her recent project called Skin Deep, answering pressing questions for Black women looking to care for their skin with the proper support of Black skincare professionals. BY NIGHT, she's passionate about helping people live a whole life. In a former life she was a fashion buyer, and is now a Tailor based in Harlem. She also runs a collective of creatives called Connected Seams NYC, helping stitch side hustlers who are cut from all different cloths together to create REAL collaborations. Follow her at @cxstyles for market research consulting, tailoring, or for a good time with Connected Seams NYC.

What do you do when you feel like you don't fit in, and you're not living up to your potential? Those questions propelled my guest Tayo Rockson to take some major risks that changed his life forever. Growing up as a child of a diplomat parent, Tayo moved to five countries and four continents and had a near death experience that became his wake up call. We discuss the impact of that experience, the beauty and power of not muting your identity for anyone else's comfort, finding community when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, surviving going broke and getting fired, navigating parental expectations of success, handling doubters, and swap hilarious stories and impressions about dealing with differences and the strengths of being an outsider. Tayo Rockson is a storyteller, cultural translator, and brand strategist for change-makers on a mission to use his difference to make a difference. He is a 4x TEDx speaker, the CEO of UYD Management, and the host of As Told by Nomads podcast. He's been named a "Top 40 Millennial Influencer" by New Theory magazine and is the author of Use Your Difference To Make A Difference a book on how to connect and communicate in a cross-cultural world. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter @tayorockson and peep his website and purchase his book at www.tayorockson.com.

What does it truly take to create a path less trekked, especially a career path that's built on what society considers taboo? That's what me and my guest Cameron Glover tackle in the first ever episode of Sway Them In Color. We we talk dick pics, setting boundaries, your worth not being just what you do, why social media unfairly limits the reach of sex professionals and sex educators, what you should do when you make a mistake as a leader, building a tolerance for everyone not liking you, knowing when to delegate and ask for help, how everyone is an expert in their own experiences, and why our ancestors who dealt with major adversity still had pockets of joy among so many other juicy topics. Grab a tea/water/whiskey or other favorite beverage and tune on in. Cameron Glover is a sex educator and entrepreneur helping other sexuality professionals create thriving online businesses. She's written for a variety of publications including Medium, Greatist, Playboy and more. She's also the creator of the "Sex Ed in Color" podcast, a show all about creating conversation around sexuality by centering sexuality professionals of color. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter @BlkGirlManifest @sexedincolor and peep her website cameronglover.com