TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke has fallen head-over-heels in love with his new, modern toilet. Andrew is surprisingly excited about something stupid called Super Wild Card Weekend. And, after an investment firm just bought up a bunch of legacy store brands, Luke and Andrew discuss modern mall culture and the olfactory pleasures of Auntie Anne's pretzels.

Luke wrote in to a newspaper today with a correction, but he's not sure how to feel about that. He and Andrew also discuss the massive fires that are upending lives in Los Angeles. And Andrew has some good news after a trip to the post office.

Luke attempted a complicated recipe last night that involved one ingredient and two steps. He also shares a roundup of interesting audio, some originating from outer space, some from Cincinnati, Ohio.

Luke and Andrew each celebrate an anniversary today, which sends them down a memory lane that is perfect for losing any new listeners who may be checking out the show after hearing Luke's story on This American Life this weekend. They also talk about old salad bars, cold restaurants, French-speaking hummingbirds, and personal thermostat preferences.

Changes at HBO Max are getting in the way of Luke's enjoyment of Somebody, Somewhere. Andrew also catches Luke up on the drama surrounding the resurrected mascot at the Pop-Tart Bowl. And they make their plans to profit off of Popeye The Sailor Man, now that he's in the public domain.

Andrew shares one of the cringiest memories of his broadcasting career. He and Luke also go over some of the Top Stories that they accidentally skipped last year, including a story of a stinky milk pond, new rules for Costco hot dogs, and Ralph Nader's campaign to restore his favorite pens to their previous splendor.

Luke and Andrew have a serious conversation about Fresca that they should have had a long time ago. Luke also lets Andrew in on some of the soda scams his family ran in the 90s.

Luke and Andrew assume they have a bunch of new listeners since it's a brand new year. So they try to catch everyone up on what's been happening on TBTL for the past 17 years. They also revisit some of the fancy words they employed in 2024.

Luke and Andrew delve into listener Kristen's list of TBTL vocabulary words that stood out to her in 2024. They also celebrate the life of Andre Braugher and explore the stand-up comedy roots of Richard Belzer.

Luke and Andrew use data and a spreadshee to analyze TBTL's opening tape over the past four years. Plus, Luke discovers a new skill that's perfect for the digital age.

Luke finds himself in an awkward conversation with someone he wrongly assumed had very different political views than himself. He and Andrew also tackle one of the Top Stories that they skipped in 2024: Oxford's "Word Of The Year." Andrew has issues with it!

Luke and Andrew come up with the perfect way to close-out the TBTL year. But are they professional enough to pull it off? They also examine the proud tradition of hiding comic books inside text books.

Luke celebrates Christmas with some personal travel news that he's quite excited about. Andrew almost ruins the holiday by bringing up a nog-related family dispute. And they finally weigh-in on the Elvis stamp debate of 1992.

After MUCH anticipation and an entire episode of build-up, Nick Jarin is back with his official Top Five Movies To Play In The Background Of Your Holiday Party. He also has some strong opinions about casting Muppets in more mainstream movies.

Nick Jarin joins Luke and Andrew to introduce his list of movies to play in the background at your holiday party. They also debate -- old school AM radio-style -- the best time for a server to take your plate at a restaurant.

Luke and Andrew compare the great lengths they each go through to connect their Bluetooth speakers every day. Plus, the mass panic over drones in the New Jersey night sky leads Andrew to discover the "Seattle Windshield Pitting Epidemic" of 1954.

Luke's mind is blown over a new drug commercial song that takes the artform to new levels. He and Andrew also discuss used pillows, mushy rice, and the giant hole in Andrew's ceiling.

Luke and Andrew stumble on their new favorite publication in a newspaper column about bidets. Plus, Andrew is vindicated and validated about a recent news story that he dismissed.

Luke is living out the plot of The Perfect Storm, only he's doing it on land with an unwieldy rain tarp. Meanwhile, Andrew is intrigued by a new approach to selling paper towels.

Luke had a meltdown during a CBS shoot this weekend and he's not feeling great about it. At all. And Andrew learns more about the "Yoda" in his yard.

TBTL Friendo Cassie swings by to tell us about the time her family stole a Christmas tree…and what happened when the cops showed up.

Luke and Andrew celebrate the life (and lies?) of The Amazing Kreskin, whom Andrew is just learning about. They also wonder why nobody is booking Stefan Fatsis to talk about the Justin Tucker's kicking issues. And they discuss the man who recently won the world Spanish Scrabble tournament, even though he doesn't speak spanish.

Andrew is excited by a "Spotify Wrapped" for local bus routes. Luke's eye is beginning to heal, but looks nastier than ever. And they carefully break down all the bumper stickers on the back of an SUV that Andrew snapped a photo of this weekend.

Luke finally had his eye surgery today, but he wasn't allowed to record the procedure. But don't worry, he shares all the details, including the ones Andrew doesn't want to hear. They also discuss the arrest of the man suspected of killing a health insurance exec in broad daylight.

TBTL Friendo Broadcast Barry travelled 9 hours to Manhattan, Kansas this weekend to hang out with the cast of Somebody, Somewhere. He joins Luke and Andrew to tell the tale. Plus, Luke's eye saga continues and continues…but is there maybe an end in sight?

Luke's swollen eye infection -- which is not filled with pus! -- made things difficult on the set of a CBS shoot yesterday. He's now hoping for some kind of medical resolution today, possibly with the help of Jeremy Renner. He and Andrew also discuss the dark, bizarre case of the mystery man who assassinated a health insurance exec in broad daylight -- and how people are reacting online.

A brand new grocery store opened in Andrew's neighborhood yesterday, leading him on an adventure that can best be described as a rollercoaster of emotion punctuated by some good old fashioned stampy-ness.

Luke and Andrew are both hot off respective trips to the doctor's office, where Andrew advocated for himself and Luke met the coolest doctor in the world. Andrew also finally has a bucket list item and a gripe about neighborhood road signs.

Turns out, both Andrew and Becca are internet celebrities this week while Luke…sadly is not. But Luke will be under the bright lights later this week, which is a problem, given his worsening eye situation.

Luke is delighted by a young NBA player who is singing Tiky-Toky songs and painting his nails and being who he wants to be. Andrew offers a review of The Penguin. And Russell Wilson's cringy "Mr. Unlimited" character may get the last laugh after all?

Luke and Andrew team-up with Lindy and Meagan of Text Me Back for the long-awaited return of their podcasting supergroup best known as "TMBTL Of The Dog." They discuss Lindy's new animal shelter gig, Meagan's "lil buggies", Luke's political yard signs, and Andrew's rat problem (and how he plans to not help solve it.)

Luke and Andrew try and fail to compare the Thanksgiving Holiday to an action movie. They also take a moment or two to compare food-loaf notes.

People keep sending Luke a video of a comedian making fun of something he works on…leading him to question the thickness of his skin. Andrew, meanwhile, needs help turning a former A's fan into a Mariners fan.

Luke has been practicing piano, and he has the tape to prove it…but can he be vulnerable enough to share that tape with us? He and Andrew also discuss buying the naming rights to one of Seattle's premiere NFL practice facilities.

A vexing billboard has reappeared in Andrew's neighborhood. Luke went to the movies this weekend and made a big mess. And listeners help Luke be "more right" the next time he explains the origins of "Skid Row."

Luke and Andrew find themselves critiquing a new ad campaign, old TV sitcoms featuring teachers, and something Andrew believes is an homage to Twisted Sister (although he's been wrong before.)

Andrew has a much-anticipated update on his plumbing situation at home, while Luke is hoping to have minor eye surgery this afternoon. They also discuss LeBron James' decision to quit social media and whether or not they are to blame.

Luke and Andrew both survived a night of major winds and power outages in the region, but now Andrew is bracing for a visit from the plumber who may have good news or bad news about his sewage system. Plus, a Seattle sushi restaurant has shut down after the internet accused it of serving fish with worms in it.

Andrew overheard a conversation this weekend that was so relevant to his interests, he wonders if it might have been a trap. He and Luke also prepare for "bomb cyclone" headed their way, and an update on Razzlekhan, the self-styled crypto-currency rapper who's headed to prison.

Luke and Andrew call on the StuBot to settle a bet regarding a Mariner's pitcher of yesteryear. They also discuss the sweet snack treats of their youth, and how Bluesky continues to Bluesky.

Luke is concerned about his favorite news network after seeing a (somewhat misleading?) headline in the Times today. He and Andrew also discuss this weekend's boxing match between two terrible human beings. And they're apparently nowhere near finished talking about closet organization techniques.

Luke is enjoying his time on the Bluesky app, and is finding a lot of old, weird friends there from his Twitter days. He and Andrew also discuss "Babydog," the English Bulldog who's been banned from the Senate floor.

Luke and Andrew (finally) discuss their individual attempts at closet organization, and why it seems to be a never ending struggle. They also listen to the absolutely charming, absolutely Midwest voicemail that Bon Iver's neighbor left for the musician.

Frankie Valli insists he's not lip synching on stage, but a fascinating investigation by the Washington Post begs to differ.

Luke has some new life goals, one of which might have been inspired by an Instagram ad. He also presents a new segment called "Basketball Funny Side Up", in which he regales Andrew with some knee-slapping moments from the NBA court.

Luke is dealing with a cold that seems to be getting worse. Andrew takes advantage of the situation by filibustering on his broken furnace, his plans to attend the Great Junk Hunt, and his fight with the bill collectors who have erroneously targeted him.

Andrew witnessed some astounding social behavior involving seat-saving at a concert last night that he'd like Luke to weigh-in on. Luke is trying to detox from the 24/7 news addiction he developed during the election season. And one very young TBTL listener has a plan to fix the country.

Luke and Andrew (once again) sort through their feelings after another disheartening election night in America.

Luke and Andrew emotionally brace themselves for election night 2024 by sharing their feelings and playing a new word game that Andrew is newly obsessed with.

Andrew momentarily forgets that he's podcasting and spends much too much time talking about doormats. More importantly, he and Luke look back at the extraordinary life and career of Quincy Jones. And Ed Sheeran wins a copyright lawsuit accusing him of borrowing too heavily from Lets Get It On.