TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew are VERY excited about this year's TBTL-a-Thon gifts and can't stop playing with them on the air. Plus, the CDC takes time out of its busy day to tell people to stop kissing chickens.

Andrew is very anxious as he awaits a VERY IMPORTANT PACKAGE related to next week's live stream of TBTL. Plus, William Shatner gets an infuriating puff-piece in The Guardian. And another stranger reaches out to Andrew via Instagram looking for a different Andrew Walsh.

Luke and Andrew learn that some of the 17-year cicadas are high on drugs and literally partying their butts off.

Luke and Andrew check their anxiety levels as they prepare for next week's big road trip. Plus, Luke has another epic adventure involving a cup of coffee and a less-than-ideal sugar substitute.

Luke and Andrew announce their big, weird plans for this year's TBTL-a-Thon adventure, which kicks-off next week! Plus, everything you thought you knew about the unlikely inventor of Flamin' Hot Cheetos turns out to be a big, fat lie! *insert unicorn brain explode emoji*

Luke and Andrew try to wrap their minds around the new guidelines around wearing (or not wearing) facemasks in public. They also try to wrap their minds around a lot of other things.

Luke and Andrew stumble on tape of Vin Scully talking about the history of beards during a Dodger's broadcast, and it is...special. Plus, a woman is in trouble for pulling a Steve Buschemi and pretending to be a high school student, complete with baseball hat and skateboard.

An old scientific theory that humans can only have up to 150 friends is coming under fire, and the original theorist is NOT HAVING IT!

Luke almost wet his pants in the elevator yesterday. But aside from that, his all-water diet seems to be going great. Plus, it turns out holograms really are the future, and the future is now.

Andrew stumbles on a strange coincidence when he decides to dig deep into some random NPR archives. And Luke has a new project that is making him pee constantly. Also, congrats to all of us for not getting hit by space debris this weekend!

One of Luke's most famous NPR stories is celebrated by the network during their 50th anniversary celebration...only the folks at NPR left one important detail out. Andrew wants to sue. Oh, and a Japanese town spends its COVID relief money on a giant squid statue, and a little kid accidentally orders $2700 worth of Spongebob popsicles from Amazon.

Luke is forced to celebrate "Cinco de Luko", whether he wants to or not. Plus, a trend piece about forgoing showers during the pandemic gives Andrew a lot to think -- and gripe -- about.

Luke and Andrew are charmed by a Will Smith Instagram post, until Andrew ruins it with more information. Plus, they FINALLY celebrate the 50 year and 2 day anniversary of NPR.

Andrew is secretly googling Luke's dinner reservations in rural Oregon, which comes as a surprise to Luke and the listeners, who tuned in to hear the guys' thoughts on NPR turning 50 years and one day.

Andrew discovered who he really is after the doctors sedated him for his hand surgery on Friday. And a fascinating explainer about the science of candles leads Luke to realize he's got some minor beef with an Elton John song.

Andrew comes up with an experiment to see if Instagram is listening in on his conversations. Meanwhile Luke debuts a new character, "Rodney Dangerfield Talking About His Roomba."

Luke and Andrew celebrate some of their favorite weirdos on Twitter and some of their favorite TV teachers (Otis Drexell, we're looking at you.) Plus, a researcher discovered some of the oldest water in the world, and it doesn't smell very good.

Luke realizes he might have paid over a thousand dollars for some Costco scallops. And he learned that on Ed Balls Day, of all days.

Andrew gets some not-so-great news about his broken finger, but he and Luke get some good news about the "chihuahua from hell" who was looking for a home. Plus, Luke responds to fans who insist he release "The Burbank Cut" of his decade-old documentary film.

Luke offers a long-awaited apology to David Blaine. Also, Glenn Close's Oscar Night moment was great...but the media should probably acknowledge that it was scripted, right?

Luke and Andrew pay tribute to Shock G of the Digital Underground, and Luke realizes that the sequel to Goodfellas has been hiding in plain sight.

Luke and Andrew ponder the future of paying for goods and services with their palm prints, and they bid a fond farewell to humor...which they just killed many times over.

Luke and Andrew grow one step closer to merging into one single person after Luke sends out a confusing tweet. And the Washington Football Team floats some new possible names, most of which sound like John Travolta films.

Andrew spent yesterday trying not to pass out on the bus with a broken finger. Meanwhile, Luke is frustrated that his recent haircut took only 2 minutes.

Luke and Andrew discuss the bobcat video that went viral last week and Bobcat Goldthwait's suspicious silence on the matter. Plus, scientists unveil the whitest paint ever created, and Luke relives one of the worst days in personal watercraft history.

Luke and Andrew play a game intended to put people to sleep.

A mysterious tweet has some Game of Thrones fans hoping that a Season 8 "redo" is on the way. Plus, today's Drops of St2pider flashbacks send Luke and Andrew on a nostalgic journey. And some Tens with very good memories create a very special installment of TBTL Blursdays!

Andrew offers a public apology for some less-than-flattering things he said about a cool young man on yesterday's show. Plus, Luke is tempted to adopt a Chihuahua from hell that is looking for a new home. And they pay tribute to the erstwhile ArcLight Cinema in Hollywood, which was a special place for them both.

Luke is disappointed to learn that TBTL has once again been overlooked by a prestigious podcast award, but Andrew offers a silver lining. Also, will we all be wearing robotic exoskeletons in 5 years? Let's hope so.

Luke and Andrew say goodbye to a good friend who IS NOT DYING but taking an exciting new path in life. Plus, today's installment of Drops of St2pider will leave you petrified and hungry.

Luke and Andrew discover that Lil Nas X's satanic sneakers may be losing value while Nike tries to recall them? They suspect J.G. Wentworth might have something to do with it. DROPS OF ST2PIDER: MATCHUP #3 Blue Angels vs Looking for Pokémon VOTE FOR YOUR PICK HERE

Andrew fills-in Luke about his big Vaccination Day activities, and Luke is in love with a special moment during a Met's broadcast. Plus, there's a ketchup emergency in the U.S., and the TBTL Drops of Stupider contest continues with matchup #2 (vote below!) DROPS OF ST2PIDER: MATCHUP #2 TBTL Prince tribute vs Sploooch The Diarrhea Turtle VOTE FOR YOUR PICK HERE!

Luke is reeaaally leaning into his inner 11 year-old, and it's not a problem at all, thank you very much. Plus, he and Andrew kick off this year's Drops of St2pider contest for listeners to vote on their favorite TBTL moments of all time. (Link for voting is below!) DROPS OF ST2PIDER: ROUND ONE Today's matchup pits the TBTL Cereal show up against the live Minnesota State Fair episode. VOTE FOR YOUR PICK HERE!

Chet Haze's attempts to create a "White Boy Summer" are...problematic. Plus, a weird SNL skit gives Andrew the giggles, and listeners call-in with stories of people cutting in front of them in line (and how they handled it.)

Luke and Andrew finally address an awkward moment in their friendship that they'd never discussed before. They also take a moment to remember how funny It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is while discussing their body image issues.

Luke and Andrew try to recover after losing their minds over a baseball game last night. Plus, Nike is trying to recall Lil Nas X's "satan shoes" from the 665 people who alright bought them.

Andrew finds his old PDA from 2004 and powers it up to find some old notes he wrote for himself. He and Luke and are also happy to hear that Volkswagen is now being investigated by the SEC for lying about changing its name to "Voltswagen."

Luke and Andrew learn that Volkswagen was, indeed, lying about changing its name, and now they are going back to never believing anything ever again. Also, Luke's trip to the Apple store gave him some real Red Dawn vibes.

Luke and Andrew test out a new recording device that either allows them or forces them to look at each other during the show, depending on whom you ask. Plus, Volkswagen finally admits that Luke was right all along and agrees to change its name to "Voltswagen."

Luke discovers a British betting site where people were wagering on the Suez Canal situation...and a lot of other fascinating stuff. Plus, according to some recent TikToks, Papa John is not doing super great?

Luke spent yesterday in an abandoned mining town and has come back with a bunch of stories that make Andrew have to use the restroom. They also pay tribute to the absolute comic genius of Jessica Walter.

Longtime TBTL Friendo Dan Pashman of The Sporkful swings by to talk about what it's like to invent a brand-new pasta from the ground-up (and to answer the most important question of our time: Is Thousand Island really a condiment?)

Luke and Andrew find out some truly Dazzling Deets about polar bears, penguin pee, and diamonds raining down on Jupiter. Plus, the General Mills PR department could really learn something from the folks over at Post cereals.

Luke wonders if he and Andrew are beginning to spend too much (virtual) time together, and notable not-nice person Bill Shatner tries to buy immortality through an A.I.-type technology.

Luke takes extreme measures to get out of a Coffee Emergency, while Andrew reminisces about the ubiquitous "Free Coffee" of the olden days. Plus, more details emerge about the different versions of Mrs. Doubtfire that exist somewhere.

In the most 2021 news ever, the Fleetwood Mac Longboarding Guy is selling his viral video as an NFT...with some caveats. Plus, Luke explores a rumor that an NC-17 version of Mrs. Doubtfire exists, Sean Hannity vapes on air, and cattle rustling is, apparently, still a thing.

A listener sets Luke straight on the topic of "gabagool", which somehow makes Andrew very, very hungry for goulash? Anyway, they also talk about a new docu-series which literally has Luke acting like a 15-year-old again. And Andrew ruins the Blursdays.

It's St. Patrick's day, which marks the anniversary of the day Andrew tried to fight a Minneapolis Uber driver and Luke almost lost his cool at a beloved Polish bar. They also commemorate the 1-year-and-1-day anniversary of the Family Ties movie. And Joe Biden "slaps back" at those criticizing his dog, who nipped a White House employee.

Luke got cyberbullied over a sandwich last night, and a chef in Miami is selling gold-encrusted steaks that his customers do not want.

Luke's Lyft driver taught him some pretty interesting things about Henry Kissinger's role in a global plot to reduce the earth's population. Plus, Yo-Yo Ma gave an impromptu performance at his vaccination clinic, and it turns out Subway is the food of choice on Korean TV.