TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew say goodbye to a good friend who IS NOT DYING but taking an exciting new path in life. Plus, today's installment of Drops of St2pider will leave you petrified and hungry.

Luke and Andrew discover that Lil Nas X's satanic sneakers may be losing value while Nike tries to recall them? They suspect J.G. Wentworth might have something to do with it. DROPS OF ST2PIDER: MATCHUP #3 Blue Angels vs Looking for Pokémon VOTE FOR YOUR PICK HERE

Andrew fills-in Luke about his big Vaccination Day activities, and Luke is in love with a special moment during a Met's broadcast. Plus, there's a ketchup emergency in the U.S., and the TBTL Drops of Stupider contest continues with matchup #2 (vote below!) DROPS OF ST2PIDER: MATCHUP #2 TBTL Prince tribute vs Sploooch The Diarrhea Turtle VOTE FOR YOUR PICK HERE!

Luke is reeaaally leaning into his inner 11 year-old, and it's not a problem at all, thank you very much. Plus, he and Andrew kick off this year's Drops of St2pider contest for listeners to vote on their favorite TBTL moments of all time. (Link for voting is below!) DROPS OF ST2PIDER: ROUND ONE Today's matchup pits the TBTL Cereal show up against the live Minnesota State Fair episode. VOTE FOR YOUR PICK HERE!

Chet Haze's attempts to create a "White Boy Summer" are...problematic. Plus, a weird SNL skit gives Andrew the giggles, and listeners call-in with stories of people cutting in front of them in line (and how they handled it.)

Luke and Andrew finally address an awkward moment in their friendship that they'd never discussed before. They also take a moment to remember how funny It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is while discussing their body image issues.

Luke and Andrew try to recover after losing their minds over a baseball game last night. Plus, Nike is trying to recall Lil Nas X's "satan shoes" from the 665 people who alright bought them.

Andrew finds his old PDA from 2004 and powers it up to find some old notes he wrote for himself. He and Luke and are also happy to hear that Volkswagen is now being investigated by the SEC for lying about changing its name to "Voltswagen."

Luke and Andrew learn that Volkswagen was, indeed, lying about changing its name, and now they are going back to never believing anything ever again. Also, Luke's trip to the Apple store gave him some real Red Dawn vibes.

Luke and Andrew test out a new recording device that either allows them or forces them to look at each other during the show, depending on whom you ask. Plus, Volkswagen finally admits that Luke was right all along and agrees to change its name to "Voltswagen."

Luke discovers a British betting site where people were wagering on the Suez Canal situation...and a lot of other fascinating stuff. Plus, according to some recent TikToks, Papa John is not doing super great?

Luke spent yesterday in an abandoned mining town and has come back with a bunch of stories that make Andrew have to use the restroom. They also pay tribute to the absolute comic genius of Jessica Walter.

Longtime TBTL Friendo Dan Pashman of The Sporkful swings by to talk about what it's like to invent a brand-new pasta from the ground-up (and to answer the most important question of our time: Is Thousand Island really a condiment?)

Luke and Andrew find out some truly Dazzling Deets about polar bears, penguin pee, and diamonds raining down on Jupiter. Plus, the General Mills PR department could really learn something from the folks over at Post cereals.

Luke wonders if he and Andrew are beginning to spend too much (virtual) time together, and notable not-nice person Bill Shatner tries to buy immortality through an A.I.-type technology.

Luke takes extreme measures to get out of a Coffee Emergency, while Andrew reminisces about the ubiquitous "Free Coffee" of the olden days. Plus, more details emerge about the different versions of Mrs. Doubtfire that exist somewhere.

In the most 2021 news ever, the Fleetwood Mac Longboarding Guy is selling his viral video as an NFT...with some caveats. Plus, Luke explores a rumor that an NC-17 version of Mrs. Doubtfire exists, Sean Hannity vapes on air, and cattle rustling is, apparently, still a thing.

A listener sets Luke straight on the topic of "gabagool", which somehow makes Andrew very, very hungry for goulash? Anyway, they also talk about a new docu-series which literally has Luke acting like a 15-year-old again. And Andrew ruins the Blursdays.

It's St. Patrick's day, which marks the anniversary of the day Andrew tried to fight a Minneapolis Uber driver and Luke almost lost his cool at a beloved Polish bar. They also commemorate the 1-year-and-1-day anniversary of the Family Ties movie. And Joe Biden "slaps back" at those criticizing his dog, who nipped a White House employee.

Luke got cyberbullied over a sandwich last night, and a chef in Miami is selling gold-encrusted steaks that his customers do not want.

Luke's Lyft driver taught him some pretty interesting things about Henry Kissinger's role in a global plot to reduce the earth's population. Plus, Yo-Yo Ma gave an impromptu performance at his vaccination clinic, and it turns out Subway is the food of choice on Korean TV.

Journalist and TBTL Friendo Andrea Seabrook joins the show after she got cyberbullied by William Shatner yesterday. Also, Luke explains why several large police officers dragged him out of a Flaming Lips rehearsal last night.

Luke and Andrew remember the day, exactly one year ago, when they finally realized that the world had really changed (and that their burps would never be as fun.) Plus, Captain Kirk just picked a very strange fight with Luke's friend at NPR.

Luke is excited to meet his musical hero, Wayne Coyne, this afternoon...especially after Andrew tells him a spicy detail about the Flaming Lips frontman. Plus, the return of This Day In TBTL History takes us back 5 years and puts Luke and Andrew on some shaky ground.

Luke and Andrew find out who they REALLY are with the help of an enneagram test and their friend Lauren Masterson. Plus, Luke talks about his beautiful feet a lot and it's very upsetting.

Luke has a big DISHWASHER UPDATE. He and Andrew are also ready to talk WandaVision, Mandelorian, and last night's Meghan Markle interview with Oprah.

Luke brings the HEAT today with a Friday Motivation via the fine Clump Dogs at Defector. Plus, what do you get when you combine music and crypto-currency? A lot of money and a very confused Andrew.

Luke has either discovered something special in the Willamette River, or he's going off the deep end. Your call. Plus, Dan Harmon introduces a compelling new system for the Zodiac calendar. And Andrew's getting very nervous about fantasy baseball.

Luke and Andrew finally get their big break in sports media, and Luke discovers something mind blowing about the cinnamon toast he ate as a kid. Plus, a company is animating old photos of departed loved ones, and it turns out there's a reason why ketchup is sometimes called "fancy".

Luke and Andrew celebrate a very special TBTL-a-versary, even though someone forgot. Plus, listeners chime in with their stories of butter love.

Luke and Andrew finally address the imaginary scandal surrounding their imaginary tanning salon in Portland. Plus, last night's Golden Globes broadcast was pretty cool until it wasn't, and a surgeon goes to traffic court while surgeoning.

TBTL Friendo Davy Rothbart jumps on the show to talk about his amazing new documentary, 17 Blocks. Plus, Andrew's acting career takes another step forward with the role he's been waiting for his entire life.

Luke and Andrew watch a bunch of Amy Grant videos and fall in love all over again. Plus, one of Andrew's favorite electronic stores is closing and taking its spaceships with it.

Luke introduces Andrew to one the hottest viral songs banging around the internet, and it is delightful. Plus, a young man fakes his own kidnapping to get out of work for a day.

A story about scary robot dogs leads Andrew to admit to one of his weirder internet proclivities. He and Luke also discuss Jim Nabors at great length for some reason.

Luke finally gets a breakthrough on his appliance-repair conundrum, but the news comes with more than a bit of irony. Plus, Daft Punk says goodbye in a very Daft Punky way, an old joke from The Simpsons comes back to haunt Ted Cruz, and the results of the Great Condiment Debate are in!

Luke and Andrew find themselves on opposite sides of a debate over Thousand Island dressing and how it should be categorized. Plus, the internet delights in catching Ted Cruz doing very Ted Cruzy things, and a heroic mattress salesman in Texas throws his doors open to those who need shelter.

Andrew's failed attempts to buy a pack of baseball cards may have just changed his life forever, or so he says. Plus, a couple of employees hit the wrong button and accidentally wire $900 million dollars and can't get it back. How's your day going?

Luke and Andrew welcome a new, possibly non-existent group of listeners into the TBTL family. They also learn that blowing on Nintendo cartridges never really worked, and that Luke's favorite emoji is branding him as an Old.

Luke discovers a new global radio project and it's blowing his dang mind. Plus, a new film documents the last days of a dying shopping mall, and it's brilliant.

Andrew does something very surprising on a snowy Monday in Seattle (hint: it's garbage day) and Luke is full of Fun Presidential Facts™️, including which President was criticized for not drinking enough booze.

Luke convinces Andrew to join him in a new venture, despite Andrew's misgivings. Plus, the snow is falling in Portland, so Luke provides the traffic and weather reports that you need to go about your day.

Andrew realizes that he's too old for modern light bulbs, and Luke has a new hero: A 90-year old man who took out a newspaper ad complaining about his internet service.

Luke and Andrew share the internet's glee when a lawyer has to explain to a judge that he is not, indeed, a cat. Plus, Andrew uncovers a disturbing photo from his youth, and Alex Trebek's family is putting his wardrobe to good use.

Luke is in a one-sided relationship with a fancy store, and the Canadian government angered China with a Wu-Tang t-shirt. What a world.

Luke watched all of the Super Bowl commercials and he has some opinions! (But please nobody tell Genevieve.)

This week's installment of Friday Inspiration! leads Luke and Andrew to their new favorite Australian Death Metal Band. Plus, Amazon's new CEO loves him some hot wings. What's so wrong with that?

Luke hears back from his building managers after sending his Strongly Worded Email. Plus, an exploration of Lil Uzi Vert's new forehead diamond, which is very big and a little off-center

Luke sent a Strongly Worded Email to his building's management company and is starting to regret it. Meanwhile, Andrew is floundering around trying to remember a very specific Robert's Rule Of Order.

Luke and Andrew call-up their Fact Checkin' Cuz in Minnesota to find out what's going on with another mysterious monolith that just popped-up there. Plus, listener Chris witnessed something that nobody should ever have to witnes