TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Andrew is concerned about some pickles that he bought, so he does a taste-test on the air. Speaking of taste tests, he and Luke also dissect the viral video of McDonalds' CEO trying to eat a burger like a normal person. They also discuss going to the bathroom on airplanes and things the bible taught them about wine.

Andrew saw something completely bonkers in a 1991 episode of Columbo, and he's trying to get to the bottom of it. Luke finds himself placing sports bets on the definitely-not-sports-betting app Kalshi. Luke and Andrew also have important updates on their respective traffic court appeals.

Luke and Andrew have some ideas on how to fix the internet. And newspapers. They also share the personal videos that they made for each other regarding Luke's newish Roku. And Luke is about to fight city hall over a parking ticket, and he can't wait.

Luke's attempts to get to the bottom of Andrew's citrus addiction leads to a bigger mystery about India's third-biggest newspaper. Plus, Luke makes plans to visit steamboat museums and chimney sweep museums during his stay in Missouri. And a listener from New Orleans calls in with an epic tale of line-cutting.

In a desperate attempt to attract younger listeners, Luke and Andrew discuss Reader's Digest, Beetle Bailey, and Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. at great length. Plus, Luke got kicked out of ANOTHER private event during his stay in Kansas City. And Andrew marches ever closer to adopting a dog.

Andrew's cat is causing trouble. Luke is sick of everything being lemon flavored. Punch the Monkey is finally making friends in Japan. Mina Kimes might listen to McMillan Men (but probably won't.) And Luke and Andrew make plans for their eventual appearance on The Newlywed Game.

Luke has a run-in with A.I. at work, and he doesn't like it. He and Andrew also discuss the phenomenal story of American gold medal figure skater Alysa Liu. And a listener takes a food related risk that nobody asked for.

Luke had a moment that was a little embarrassing and a little gross during his jog this weekend. Andrew had another adventurous Sunday in his neighborhood. They also discuss that time Buzz Aldrin punched a guy.

Luke and Andrew try to get to the bottom of art -- from Robert Therrien's sculptures to Lana Del Rey album covers and the most chaotic songs by the Silver Jews. Plus, Luke is obsessed with a couple of podcasting nuns, and can Rich Eisen get Andrew to like Billy Bob Thornton?

Luke gets some answers about the mysterious creatures he spotted in the Columbia River yesterday. He and Andrew also discuss the imminent sale of the Seattle Seahawks and how they feel about that. And Luke watched the French film that Andrew's been obsessed with for the past 24 hours. (The conversation about Le Bonheur, which was mostly spoiler free, occurs between 43:00 - 1:04:00)

Andrew is pretty outraged over a judge's ruling on "boneless chicken wings." Luke discovers some unprecedented megafauna in the Columbia River below his house. They also get into some TV talk (Luke is enjoying Neighbors and The Other Two on HBO) and movie talk (Andrew stumbled on an old French film yesterday that he can't get out of his head.)

Luke has a new favorite radio station, Andrew has a new exercise routine involving a frozen water bottle, and Olympic skaters are dealing with a new issue called "music rights." Luke and Andrew also pay homage to Alan Arkin, because they apparently didn't do so when he died in 2023. They also learn the deep, dark secret that Tony! Toni! Toné! doesn't want you to know.

Luke had more dog-related adventures than expected during his Valentine's weekend. Andrew spent Saturday hauling bowling alley wood into his garage. And former Morning Edition host David Greene is suing Google for using his voice for their AI slop.

Luke made the mistake of signing up for a store-sponsored credit card, and boy oh boy does he regret it. Meanwhile, Andrew is still learning the basics of online shopping and making some rookie mistakes. They also discuss Chipotle's decision to raise its prices and target wealthier customers. And listeners set the record straight on the history of Iron Mountain…and some of the calls are coming from inside the mountain!

Luke and Andrew talk about the parade that Andrew didn't attend yesterday and the pizza shop in LA that Luke did visit. They also talk about why Olympic medals keep falling off the athletes in Italy.

Luke came back to his hotel room to find a hand-written note on his pillow, which leads him and Andrew on a fact-finding mission. They also discuss their weird aversion to loyalty programs, as well as Bingo's big trip to the vet today.

Luke and Andrew talk about home renovation, Super Bowl commercials, Faygo Rock 'n' Rye, and why you might not want to leave your girl with Mr. Pibb. They also receive an amazing story from Sweden involving a crime-fighting Mary Lou Henner type.

Luke and Andrew both experienced some projector-related issues during the Super Bowl yesterday, but that didn't stop them from celebrating another huge victory for the Seahawks! They also weigh-in on what most football fans are discussing today: The faulty design of modern tissue boxes.

Luke and Andrew prep for the Super Bowl the only way they know how: By talking about referees, cats, and Wordle. Plus, Luke gives Andrew the impossible Seattle Times Seahawks quiz that's got him steamed.

Andrew feels like a fish out of water as he joins the show from a college campus today. He and Luke discuss a mysterious billboard in Northern California, the Choose Your Own Adventure books of their youth, and how rude parking habits led to the Epstein Files.

Andrew received The Saddest 3-Panel Comic Strip in the mail yesterday, and does his best to describe it to Luke. They also discuss the terrible fan jerseys being released for the Super Bowl. And Luke laments the current state of Red Robin cheese sticks.

Luke's attempts to ingratiate himself with a group of teens goes sideways on the streets of Portland. He and Andrew also discuss a coyote that swam all the way to Alcatraz and the saddest penguin footage Andrew has ever seen.

Andrew had two strange interactions at the grocery store, one immediately after another. Luke is dealing with a controversy that may tear apart his family text thread, if not the family itself. And Andrew accidentally shares some very timely news about Wordle.

Luke and Andrew celebrate the life and absolutely incredible career of Catherine O'Hara, who has sadly passed away. They also discuss the big renovation project that has begun in Andrew's basement and Luke's solomonic plan for watching the Super Bowl.

Andrew recounts his adventures chasing a bus to find a lost phone yesterday. He and Luke also try to set the record straight on Knight Rider, Smashmouth, and the origins of White Out (respectively).

TBTL Friendo Cassie joins Luke and Andrew to talk about her big move back to rural life after years and years in the big city. They also talk about "House Burping" and Luke's new vacuum situation.

Andrew is very excited about something he discovered on a random VHS tape, and he's hoping some Seattle-area listeners can help him source it. Plus, Luke is trying to decide whether or not to ditch TikTok now that Larry Ellison effectively owns it. And a listener forcefully sets the record straight on the origins of Taco Time NW.

Luke and Andrew check-in to try to wrestle with the good and the bad that happened this weekend, from the streets of Minneapolis to a football field in Seattle and a custard shop in Miami.

Luke and Andrew once again team up with their friends Lindy and Meagan from the Text Me Back pod to talk about napping, the New Andy Rooney, and celebrity casting of Lindy's life. They also discuss a huge update on the classic Rob Lowe meme and Billy Bob Thornton's televised fit check.

Andrew discovers a long-lost episode of TBTL. He doesn't like what he hears on it, but he finds it important anyway. They also discuss regional food chains and the most frightening thing to happen on a roller coaster.

The New York Times explains why Emanuel Macron was wearing badass sunglasses at the World Economic Forum yesterday, but Luke takes some issue with the reporting. He and Andrew also break down a couple of SNL skits and the disagreement that they caused on TikTok. And they try to figure out the best place for Luke to watch the big Seahawks game when he's in Miami this weekend.

Luke joins the show from Burbank, California, where he was on a big-budget HBO set all day. He and Andrew also discuss the school staff from Archie Comics as well as some of the cartoon characters they used to crush on.

Genevieve joins the show to talk sewing, hobbies, and some unfortunate choices made by a 1990s talk show. Then we put her movie knowledge to the test with a quiz only she could handle.

NASA is going through great efforts to conceal the identity and symptoms of an astronaut who got sick in space, which leads Luke and Andrew to assume the worst (eg, an alien invasion.) They also discuss Andrew's new life-hack for getting to the airport (spoiler alert: It's driving.)

Luke and Andrew learn that they may be sitting on some valuable old pennies…they just need to check their spare change jars. They also discuss self-driving rectangles and the California Raisins.

Andrew is back from his first-ever trip to Las Vegas, and he has all the details Luke is dying to hear.

DFTB drops by to hangout with Luke & Jon, as Andrew enjoys more time in Vegas. The guys discuss kids being kids at the airport, Seahawks' football, and they're unable to determine what region of the country Missouri is a part of.

Andrew is spending time in Las Vegas so TBTL Employee Numero Uno, Jon Sklaroff, jumps on the line to check in with Luke about what's happening in the Twin Cities and the podcast world after the first ever Golden Globe was awarded for podcasting. Also, the guys wonder if husband of Best Actress winner, Rose Byrne, fellow actor Bobby Cannavale was justified in not attending the awards ceremony.

Luke and Andrew are both tempted by a new phone that's being hyped at the CES tech show and that has them reminiscing about their Blackberries of old. Luke also went back to his own reporting from 2004 to fact check himself, and he didn't like the results.

Luke watched a movie yesterday, but he couldn't get Andrew's voice out of his head the whole time. Andrew discovers that he perfectly fits into a weirdo's theory regarding latitudes and lifestyles. And they discuss Andrew's gambling prep for his upcoming trip to Vegas.

Luke and Andrew both saw Marty Supreme over the holidays. They share their feelings on the movie and how it fits into the current movie theater moment. They also talk about how the greatest dart players in the world have to deal with wasps during their tournaments.

Luke is concerned that he accidentally bought a legit gun on TikTok. Now he's waiting to see what shows up. Plus, a listener in Scotland explains the origins of the supposed curse of MacBeth. And Andrew had a dream about a banana, but it's not what you think.

Luke had the most embarrassing moment he's ever had on an airplane over the holidays. He's also working on a new, exciting system for his garbage bins. And Genevieve is worried that Andrew might be having an affair with someone at the DMV.

From scary windstorms to nostalgic smells, from dive bar popcorn to summer salad recipes, we hear from the Tens of Listeners who left us voicemail messages in 2025. Happy New Year!

Luke and Andrew kick off the new year by revisiting one of their favorite poems and the performer who made it famous. They also check-in with listener Jami, who has a list of the Top Five Low-Stake Adult Fears one might face.

Andrew is obsessed with a special table from his youth, and he's unfortunately found it for sale on eBay. He also asks for Luke's help differentiating two comedians who have little in common. And listener Ben offers a list of Top Five Experiences You Can Have In A Grocery Store.

Luke and Andrew finally speak up about the TV show Get Smart and its infamous "cone of silence." They also take a look back at some of the most interesting vocabulary words they apparently used in the past year, according to listener Kristen, who's been keeping notes.

Hanna Brooks Olsen joins the show to talk about the Forensic Sciences Club she started in high school, why she's been staying up until 4 in the morning, and how to get someone out of bed with Sour Patch Kids. She also presents her own list of Top Five Most Satisfying Things To Clean.

Andrew is shocked and awed by some online behavior he saw yesterday…behavior that led to his own banishment on social media!

Luke and Andrew are joined by Jon, Genevieve, Susie B. and a whole bunch of Tens to celebrate the holidays! We talk about favorite holiday traditions, regifting strategies, and whether or not Genevieve and Andrew's Christmas tree is "secure."