We Love Each Other But We Are Not Having Sex. Now What? (Part 1)
Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 · Karen Bigman
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Show Notes
Are you ever going to have sex again?
It is the question so many couples in midlife are quietly asking. Sex has become obligatory. Or it has disappeared. Hormones have shifted. Resentment has built. Communication has broken down.
In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I sit down with clinical sexologist Dr. Stacy Friedman to talk about how couples move from duty sex or no sex back to real desire. We break down spontaneous versus responsive desire. We explain why sex starts to feel like a chore. We talk about what happens after the lust phase fades and oxytocin replaces testosterone.
We also cover:
- Why many women need arousal before desire
- How long term relationships shift biologically and emotionally
- What to do if you have not had sex in months or years
- How removing the expectation of intercourse can rebuild intimacy
- How to handle mismatched libidos without resentment
- Why collaboration works better than compromise
If you feel stuck in the friend zone with your own partner, this conversation will give you a practical roadmap back to connection.
And if you are a man trying to understand what menopause is doing to your relationship, my NEW course Men Meet Menopause is built for you! To celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause
Timestamps:
00:00 Men Meet Menopause Course For Men
01:05 Welcome And The Question No One Wants To Ask
02:10 When Sex Becomes An Obligation
03:30 Responsive Vs Spontaneous Desire
05:15 Why “Once We Start It’s Good” Happens
06:45 The Lips Nips Below The Hips Problem
08:05 From Lust To Dead Bedroom
09:30 The Biology Of Testosterone And Oxytocin
10:40 Sex Snacks And Daily Micro Connection
11:45 Rebuilding After Years Without Sex
13:05 Baby Steps Back To Intimacy
14:20 Removing The Expectation Of Intercourse
15:40 Redefining Sex Beyond Penetration
16:30 Mismatched Libido And Collaboration
17:30 Why Anger And Pressure Kill Desire
18:00 Part Two Preview And Call To Action
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
About the Guest:
Dr. Stacy Friedman is a Clinical Sexologist, certified intimacy coach, and the unapologetically fierce voice behind The Purple Passion Project podcast. With decades in medicine and sexuality work, she helps people awaken desire, reclaim pleasure, and ignite passion through coaching, curated pleasure essentials, and provocative e-books. Known for making sex talk feel like your most daring friend, she turns taboo into tantalizing—zero shame, all heat. Dr.Stacy's motto: My passion is to help you create yours.
Connect with Dr. Stacy Friedman:
Website: https://drstacyfriedman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drstacyfriedman
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-purple-passion-project/id1825458840
Tease me, touch me, Talk To Me:
https://e.drstacyfriedman.com/product-details/product/6960f9e9612364ee5873c8c9
Reigniting passion in Long-Term Relationships:
https://e.drstacyfriedman.com/product-details/product/69419a1f19a5c70271d8df18
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com
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