Changing another's behaviour: listener question

I just found out that my daughter is self harming again or still. Also she thinks she can’t anything and so she just doesn’t care. About school in this case. She still cares a lot about animals. I have like a black out in an exam. I want to see my equivalent but I don’t know what to look for. Ok, the don’t care was quite a pattern but not so much anymore. But the self harming? Yes I used to smoke, and take drugs and binge eat, but I‘m not for decades/years. This can’t be it?