Struggle Care

We are continuing with the topic of trad wives, but we are taking a different angle in this conversation. I’m joined by Professor Neil Shyminsky, who is an English professor at Cambrian College in Sudbury, Ontario. He doesn’t teach a lot about literature but likes to focus on media studies, gender/sexuality studies, and socio-political thought. We begin with a clip of Professor Neil explaining the concept of the “leisure class” as it relates to trad wife content. Join us! Show Highlights: The “other” side of trad wife content: an idealized performance of domesticity and romanticization of a woman’s role Professor Neil defines “the leisure class.” Don’t always believe the story the camera shows! (It’s all carefully curated content!) Social signals in how we “perform” our gender Trad wives as the moral purity status symbol of their husband’s godliness and enjoyers of God’s richest blessings from living a life of submission Thinking critically is key to understanding the truth about the values they promote. The difference between liking traditionally feminine things and being a content creator who makes active choices about how they present their enjoyment of traditionally feminine things The comparison between trad wife content and MLMs Professor Neil’s advice: “Be thoughtful and self-reflective in what you consume.” Resources and Links: Connect with Professor Neil Shyminsky: TikTok, Instagram, X, and LinkedIn Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Buckle up for this one! We are discussing the interesting topic of trad wives, the psychology of anti-feminism, and the pushback/feedback we are seeing on TikTok. If you aren’t sure what any of that means, stay with us, and we will explain. I’m joined by my good friend and frequent guest on the show, clinical psychologist, Dr. Lesley Cook. Show Highlights: A montage of trad wife audio content The overriding philosophy of trad wife content: the good way vs. the bad way (with no in-between) KC’s definition of a trad wife: “a woman who chooses to stay home, submit to her husband, and embrace traditional gender roles because they believe God says they will be happier” (usually with undertones of homeschooling, homesteading, and political/religious agendas) The correlation between mainstream marketing, multi-level marketing, and trad wife philosophy: they all create the myth around what they are trying to sell The psychology of instability, isolation, loneliness, vulnerability, and a lack of belonging common in the trad wife movement Too much feminism OR not enough feminism?? Our responsibility as a global community of women to the problems of patriarchy Patriarchy, the myth, and the marketing campaign Scenarios in which a trad wife is trapped, isolated, overtaxed, and overwhelmed—but still believes the myth Traps that pop up in many areas with exploitive systems that can all be tied to money How we are consuming trad wife content with a romanticized view of the false narrative Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Please be advised that today’s episode is adult content; it’s not safe for work or little ears. We are talking all things kink with Sunny Megatron, a clinical sexologist, kink educator, and consultant. Join us for an interesting and informative conversation! Show Highlights: Understanding what kink really is—and how it measures up to the assumptions we have The difference between kink and a fetish Sunny explains “kink done well” and “kink done wrong” The concept of “aftercare” in kink Societal messages around sex that lead to shame, embarrassment, and an overall lack of open communication We don’t understand our sexual motivations. Stigma busting around sexual assault, trauma, and fantasy Red flags to look for in sexual power dynamics The slippery slope of fear (of what kink may lead to) Problems in kink relationships are the SAME problems in “vanilla sex” relationships! Resources and Links: Connect with Sunny Megatron: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you have felt the pressure to put meals on the table that adhere to the expectations of others, even when you could barely function in life, this episode is for you. I’m joined by Amy G.S.A. Brooks of Wandering Ames. She’s one of my favorite content creators who posts about the OK Kitchen. There is more to life than succumbing to societal pressure to prepare perfect, five-star meals. Join us! Show Highlights: ● The beginnings of the OK Kitchen and the forming of a new community ● Food insecurity and diet culture during the pandemic ● Messages surround us everywhere about how we feed ourselves and fuel our bodies. ● Thinking about preparing food for three meals every day seems like never-ending labor! ● Meal plans can be a helpful tool–but should be set aside when needed. ● Wasteful in food or wasteful in being unkind to ourselves? Which is worse? ● Be willing to break the rules: dinner doesn’t have to be a big meal or a fancy production, and food plans should be simple and flexible. ● The point of meals is to get what our bodies need. Resources and Links: Connect with Amy G.S.A. Brooks: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m joined today by Monica Packer, host of the About Progress podcast, as we talk about habits. Specifically, our discussion focuses on why the habit-forming advice out there written by men does not work for women. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Monica’s background as a blogger and podcaster who had to “learn how to fail” ● Understanding that perfectionism is a spectrum that affects our ability to form “good habits” ● Monica’s lightbulb moment: “Maybe our methods are broken.” ● The biggest difference between men’s and women’s habits: invisible labor ● How invisible labor is defined–and what the statistics show ● Examples of the mental load that women carry ● Popular culture advice (about forming habits) that DOES NOT work ● Monica’s tips for forming habits: redefine consistency, shift your view of habits, and start with the smallest and simplest form of the ideal ● Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is real for many women! ● The goal of habits is to support you—so do it YOUR way! ● Understanding trade-offs and how they work for most women Resources and Links: Connect with Monica Packer: Website, About Progress Podcast, Instagram, and The Sticky Habit Intensive Course Books mentioned by Monica: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is all about mental health, therapy, and being online as a therapist. We are diving in with my guest, DeeDee Wednesday, who has created a space for intentional healing and empowerment through therapy and leadership coaching. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● An overview of DeeDee’s work as a therapist in Louisiana ● Traditional therapy is NOT today’s therapy. ● An open mind, a balancing act, and showing up as an authentic therapist ● Navigating the tricky world of TikTok (or any social media platform) as a therapist ● DeeDee’s work to show up as a therapist when entitlement, racism, and white supremacy are at play ● Understanding how moral perfectionism causes some people to act ● Having a line that you won’t cross to “do no harm” ● What it means to be self-aware ● Dealing with difficult people ● “Power is really the ability to choose.” Resources and Links: Connect with DeeDee Wednesday: Website, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every mother needs to hear this conversation. It just doesn’t make sense that we put so much undue pressure on ourselves and are quick to criticize and judge other moms for their parenting styles. I’m joined today by Erica Djossa, the author of Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More. We are talking about all things motherhood and expectations, why I’ve been blasted over a couple of recent TikToks, and Erica’s parenting wisdom from her book. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● One of KC’s videos about how she “doesn’t play” with her kids—and the flurry of negative responses over parenting choices ● The intensive mothering ideation: motherhood equals martyrdom, mothers must put everyone else’s needs about their own, shelve all their interests, and be self-sacrificial in every way ● The second of KC’s videos about sending her dog away from home for training—and the flurry of anger and shame over her inadequacies as a dog owner ● Mainstay pillars of the intensive mothering ideology and the BS that is promoted as healthy attachment and “good mothering” ● Giving less can sometimes mean giving more. ● The truth that shows up in the bedtime routine (“Are you holding space for yourself, mom?”) ● The scope, dynamic, and importance of “independent play,” creativity, and solving problems ● Healthy attachment: safety, security, reliability, and dependability ● The space for moms to have unique and different personalities and mothering styles, like bedroom parents vs. living room parents ● Projecting our mother wounds on other moms (Why do we do it?) ● Understanding why not all NOs are equal ● The disparity in expectations and judgment for moms and dads ● Motherhood expectations, boundaries, and the stories we tell ourselves Resources and Links: Connect with Erica Djossa: Website, Instagram, Momwell Podcast, and Releasing the Mother Load book Mentioned by Erica: Needy by Mara Glatzel Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I recently came across the content of Dr. Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor whose mission is to provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview. His writings display eye-opening perspectives on religion and relationships that we aren’t used to hearing from a male Christian leader. I’m joined by Dr. Andrew to discuss how the church gaslights women and much more. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Dr. Andrew’s path from Southern Baptist Church pastor to therapist as he deconstructed his faith and faced stark realizations ● The big, red-flag problems in what some churches teach and practice about women, leadership, sexism, and abuse ● The facts about sexism and abuse experienced by women in the church ● “How we are in our sexuality is how we are in our spirituality.” ● Many churches demonstrate benevolent or ambivalent sexism. ● Thoughts and feelings about I Timothy 2:11-12 being weaponized against women ● Dr. Andrew’s thoughts on how the church weaponizes forgiveness ● The correlation between pornography and violence against women ● The biblical account of Jesus and the woman at the well—and how He broke decades of prejudices and sexism in His own culture ● Other examples in scripture of how Jesus valued women—and how the church “gets it wrong” so often ● Understanding sexuality and consent Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Andrew Bauman: Website/Blog/Resources, The Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma Recommended Reading: books by Natalie Hoffman, Sarah McDugal, and Sheila Gregoire Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joining me today is Sarah (pronounced SAH-rah) Casper, Consent Educator and the founder of Comprehensive Consent. We connected over a recent TikTok about sexual coercion, sexual assault, and consent, which, as you can imagine, prompted very strong reactions. There is a new social space around the whole idea of consent, even to the point that new terminology is being created, as with the term “enthusiastic consent.” With the overall goal of education and empowerment, Sarah and I tackle this very nuanced topic in today’s show. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Consent is full of black, white, and LOTS of gray areas. ● The truth: “Consent is not simple, and the same rules don’t apply across all contexts.” ● Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire and the opt-in model vs. the opt-out model ● Common questions Sarah is asked about people’s experiences ● Everyone deserves care, all feelings are valid, and your feelings don’t have to be labeled. ● Not all assault is sexual coercion, and not all sexual coercion is assault. ● Sexual ethics is much more than consent. ● Watch out for red flags in a partner wanting to “check all the boxes” for consent. Resources and Links: Connect with Sarah Casper and Comprehensive Consent: Website, Instagram, and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Friendships can be very complicated and fragile while at the same time solid and fulfilling. Even though our “besties” may come and go across our lifetime, they can each bring something valuable and unique to the friendship table. In this episode, we are taking a closer look at relationships, specifically friendships in all their complex and nuanced forms. My guest is content creator and podcaster, Hello Hayes. She answers questions from her community each week about navigating turbulence in our relationships with each other, work, and ourselves. Our conversation takes a closer look at her intriguing theory of the six different kinds of best friends. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Hayes’s background as a writer, an empathetic person, an “old soul,” and a good listener ● The natural shifts in friendships as life changes and phases unfold ● Hayes’s six besties theory: (based on the premise that we have different friends in life for different purposes) ○ The Good Time Bestie ○ The Dead Body Bestie ○ The Work Bestie ○ The North Star Bestie ○ The OG Bestie ○ The Seasonal Bestie ● The mental health piece of friendship ● Practice your self-awareness muscle: Be confident in trusting your gut! ● The basis for Hayes’s advice to people about their relationships ● Knowing when it’s time to face a painful heartbreak and move on ● Having tough conversations with the right words without being accusatory Resources and Links: Connect with Hello Hayes: Hello Hayes podcast, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and email (to submit a question) [email protected] Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is powerful. I’m honored to have two of the three authors of the book, Beyond Fragility with me today. Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton and Dr. Yara Mekawi, along with Danielle Dawson, have written truly the best anti-racism resource I’ve ever encountered. As a white person and a clinician, it is powerful to hear this perspective of what we need to do psychologically to get to a place of anti-racism. Drs. Natalie and Yara are researchers, educators, writers, and the co-founders of DEAR, the Dialectical Engagement and Anti-Racism Project. Join us to learn more about this timely and important topic! Show Highlights: ● The origins of DEAR and Beyond Fragility as an outgrowth of Yara’s Medium article, How to not be a “Karen”: Managing the tensions of anti-racism allyship ● The differences between DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and traditional talk therapy ● Systemic racism, emotions, and “whiteness” ● The goal of Beyond Fragility: to teach hard truths and skills that are necessary for a society that isn’t harmful to people of color ● The DBT skill of effectiveness as a decision-guiding principle ● A perspective on furthering anti-racism instead of placing blame ● Barriers to anti-racism work ● Anti-racism skills covered in the book, like accept, feel, detect, etc. ● “Fight or flight” responses–and how they show up in anti-racism ● Anti-racist repair and apologies ● Skills to use in calling out racist missteps: (CALL) clarify what happened, acknowledge intentions, lay out the reasons, and list possible solutions; (OUT) observing, using humility, and tolerating resistance ● The DEI calculator–and how to use it to ask for other perspectives ● An example of anti-racism tools and skills in action with racial marginalization Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie, Dr. Yara, and The DEAR Project: Website, Instagram, and Facebook, LinkedIn Beyond Fragility: A Skills-Based Guide to Effective Anti-Racist Allyship by Dr. Natalie Watson-Singleton, Dr. Yara Mekawi, and Danielle Dawson Also mentioned in this episode: White Fragility by Dr. Robin DiAngelo Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you have a child with a disability in the public school system, you are familiar with the language of special education, IEPs, and 504 Plans. If it’s new to you, stick around for today’s conversation because I’m joined by two trusted experts in the thick of the IEP world. We begin with Dr. Lesley Cook, a clinical psychologist and repeat guest on the show, as she explains what parents need to know to be prepared and informed ahead of IEP meetings. My second guest is Kim Kizito, a fierce advocate who meets with families and consults with them as they navigate the public school system to get educational services for their children with various disabilities. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: From Dr. Lesley: ● Dr. Lesley’s path to becoming a trusted expert witness in due process cases dealing with neuropsych assessments ● Understanding IEPs–individual education programs for students who have a diagnosis that interferes with their education ● The difference between bad goals and good goals in an IEP ● Dr. Lesley’s advice to watch out for the word “comply” in an IEP goal ● Turning bad goals into better goals that are affirming and realistic ● Considerations around behavioral disorders, PTSD, and triggering environments ● 3 kinds of interventions and supports that should be included in IEPs ● A look at the intense pressure that parents feel in the IEP process–and why the law regards them as equal members in the process ● Examples of common accommodations that parents can ask for ● The problem with color charts as a behavior management tool ● Dr. Lesley’s tips for parents and guardians who want to be more informed and prepared for IEP meetings From Kim: ● Most parents don’t realize what services are available for children ages 0-3 through ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) ● The importance of a special education advocate in helping families ● Understanding the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP ● The three-pronged process for a child to qualify for an IEP ● Lightning round questions for Kim about the excuses schools give to parents ● Kim’s strategy to “get through” to the school to get evaluations and services for a child ● Top tips for parents in protecting their child’s educational rights ● A manifestation determination hearing—when it is appropriate and what it means Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Mentioned by Dr. Lesley: www.understood.org Connect with Kim Kizito: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dance is about more than just moving your body. With today’s technology, it’s easy to layer other elements in addition to movement to create a product of expression. Dance is all about expression, it is for everyone, and it shouldn’t be limited to specific people who “fit the mold.” I’m joined today by Heather Stockton, a content creator and dance teacher who I recently discovered on TikTok. We are discussing accessible dance. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Heather’s background with dance as the “true love” of her life overriding everything as she grew up ● How Heather discovered in college that dance can be a means of communication, storytelling, and expressiveness ● How body issues affected Heather’s first experience of dance not being accessible ● Why Heather’s mission in life is to make dance accessible and inclusive for ALL bodies and break down the stigma that connects it to just one body type ● Heather’s job today as a dance educator in an elementary school and a dance program developer whose work is based on accessibility and inclusion ● How Heather teaches through multiple modalities that apply to every gen ed and special ed student in her classes ● How dance provides multiple benefits for both physical and mental health ● How dance for adults can heal their inner child, provide community, and allow them to be curious, playful, and expressive ● Heather leads us through a BrainDance exercise (developed by Anne Green Gilbert) that can be done by people of any age, from very young children to elderly adults Resources and Links: Connect with Heather Stockton: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There is no bigger struggle than surviving a post-disaster scenario or perhaps the anxiety we feel about an impending disaster. Joining me today is Zoe Higgins, The Leftist Prepper, from TikTok. You’ll learn what it means to be a prepper, how and why Zoe became a prepper, why the “disaster myth” of movies is not reality, and how to keep your family safe in a disastrous event. Show Highlights: ● What it means to be a prepper—and how it started for Zoe in 2017 ● The difference between doomsday preppers and realistic preppers ● What leftist prepping is all about ● Zoe’s Hurricane Ida experience in 2021, and how communities came together ● What the “disaster myth” is—and why it isn’t true ● How fundamental Christian narratives play into alt-right prepper views ● How doomsday preppers incorporate racism, ableism, and fat shaming into their rhetoric ● Where to start in becoming a prepper ● What to know about prepping with canned food, freeze-dried food, and stored water ● Why a hand-crank emergency radio is a necessity ● How to prep for extreme temperatures in a disaster scenario ● What to think about in your 72-hour kit beyond food and water: niche gadgets, first aid/medical supplies, maps, chargers, batteries, and printed information ● What to consider for a go-bag, bug-out bag, etc. ● Safety issues to think about in a disaster scenario ● Zoe’s takeaway thoughts about anxiety and prepping Resources and Links: Connect with Zoe: TikTok and How People Behave After Disasters information sheet Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are discussing an intriguing topic today: accessible yoga. I want to know more about it, so I’ve invited Emily Anderson to join me. She’s been a yoga teacher since 2018 and is focusing her work this year on yoga therapy, the application of yogic modalities and philosophies in caring for people based on their unique medical and emotional needs and in collaboration with a person’s medical team. Emily does yoga therapy through her virtual studio, All Bodies Welcome Yoga. She firmly believes that anyone can come through her virtual doors and feel comfortable and welcome, which is not always the case in mainstream, fitness-based yoga studios in the US. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● Why it is important to Emily to have equity and inclusion in the yoga classroom ● Why common conceptions about yoga are a “tricky blur” between self-help, mind/body connection, and spirituality ● How different yoga positions are beneficial to the body and emotions ● How people feel health shame and sometimes associate movement with pain, punishment, or discipline ● How yoga helps reconnect us to the ways our bodies enjoy movement and give us feedback about sensations ● How Emily works with clients around pushing themselves when things are challenging and empowering themselves with options and autonomy ● Why much teaching around exercise and movement are fear-based ● How Emily conducts virtual yoga classes ● How to look for accessible yoga classes in your community Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Anderson and All Bodies Welcome Yoga: Website, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and The Softness Meditation Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking at the diverse aspects of mental health from different angles is part of what this show is about. Today’s episode features Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon, who are clinicians, therapists, Asian Americans, and the co-authors of Where I Belong: Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity. Join us to learn more about mental health and the Asian American community! Show Highlights: ● How Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon met while working in a community health setting mainly with Asian immigrants and refugees in the US ● Why Asian clients generally experience big stigma and shame around mental health care ● Why there are common barriers to treatment for Asian Americans, including intergenerational trauma, racial trauma, migration trauma, and invisibility ● Why therapists have to approach identity issues and family dynamics differently with children of immigrants ● Soo Jin’s story of the extreme effects of growing up as an undocumented immigrant ● How Soo Jin’s mother experienced “functional PTSD”---which led to intergenerational trauma in the family ● How Linda experienced different kinds of intergenerational trauma, mainly due to domestic violence and abuse in her family ● What is involved in breaking intergenerational family trauma ● How their book addresses a community perspective on emotions and mental health ● How practices like yoga and Tai Chi help create a somatic connection between trauma therapy and movement ● Why everyone, including non-Asians, can benefit from reading their book Resources and Links: Connect with Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon: Yellow Chair Collective Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook **Get the book, Where I Belong Mentioned in this episode: Teaching the Invisible Race by Tony DelaRosa Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is content creator, Frances, from TikTok. She most often covers topics related to Black maternal health and mental health, but today we venture into her personal experience in being a neurodivergent Black woman. Join us! Show Highlights: ● How Frances is affected by neurodivergent issues like dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, and stimming (There is much more to neurodivergence beyond ADHD and autism!) ● How a knowledgeable teacher caught Frances’ problems early in elementary school ● How differences in cultures play out in the ways neurodivergence might be manifested ● Why there are many shortfalls in identifying learning disabilities because too many teachers assume the problems are behavioral ● Why it is difficult as the parent of a neurodivergent child to find balance in privacy, protection, and sharing information with others ● Frances’ opinions on her childhood accommodations that were most impactful and least impactful for her ● How Frances functions with accommodations in the workplace as an adult Resources and Links: Connect with Frances: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A big part of the discussion around mental health, wellness, and self-care is not to overlook the factors that may have contributed to some form of religious trauma in your life. If you are someone who has a religious background and might be deconstructing from a religion (Christianity, in particular), today’s conversation will help you navigate that journey. I’m joined by Rev. Lizzie, an Episcopal priest who is based in Austin, Texas, where she is the founding planter of Jubilee Episcopal Church. There is something inspiring and comforting in this conversation for everyone, no matter your relationship with religion. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Shocker: “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is not in the Bible, so you are not morally sinful if your sink is full of dirty dishes. ● Why Christianity can be comforting to us in our feelings of brokenness and unworthiness ● Where the phrase about cleanliness and godliness originated–as a way to teach that our “inside” is a more important focus than our outward appearance ● The danger of misunderstanding “God commands” and “God cares” ● Why much of what people “think” is Christianity is a misunderstanding of God’s grace and love for our souls ● Why the vastness of God cannot be contained solely within the bounds of scripture ● How we each have a “canon within a canon” of the scriptures that we hold the most sacred and important ● What Rev. Lizzie wants us to understand about the word “jubilee” and what it means about freedom, justice, and joy Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and And Also With You Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Resilience. You’ve heard the word, I’m sure, but do you know what it means and how it plays out in real-life situations? Building resilience through pain and difficulties is today’s topic, and Dr. Patrice Berry is here to help us understand. She is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia who enjoys creating educational content on social media to provide additional education and information to people she can’t see in her local office. Join us! Show Highlights: ● How Dr. Patrice sees resilience in her work with trauma survivors ● How Dr. Patrice defines resilience ● Why resilience can be both an innate ability and a learned skill/tool ● Why resilience comes from a growth mindset of honoring pain and seeing light through pain ● What it means to balance pain and trauma ● How a supportive network helps build resilience by making someone know they are seen, heard, understood, and not alone ● Dr. Patrice’s take on the oft-used statement: “Children are resilient.” ● Why children need to experience difficulties, disappointments, mistakes, and pain (not intentionally-caused pain) ● The role of resilience in being the difference between surviving and thriving ● How to find joy—even in the midst of surviving ● How Dr. Patrice teaches the resilience-building skill of “doing the opposite” ● How to give yourself accommodations ● The relationship between resilience and persistence Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Patrice Berry: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and (book) Turning Crisis into Clarity: How to Survive or Thrive in the Midst of Uncertainty Book mentioned by Dr. Patrice: Trauma-Proofing Your Kids by Peter Levine Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him ● How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues ● How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad ● Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to ● How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her ● How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more ● Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change ● Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person ● How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you at the end of your rope dealing with a dog who always seems to be the problem? I’ve been there, and I can say that there is hope! Today’s episode is a nice wrap-up as the final part of our series on dog training. Jacqui Zakar joins us from her home in Australia for today’s discussion about coping when your dog is “the problem.” Jacqui is a dog trainer I follow on TikTok, and I know she brings a lot of great advice and expertise to this important topic. Join us! Show Highlights: ● Why Jacqui understands from personal experience what it’s like to have a reactive dog that’s labeled as “that dog” ● What Jacqui identifies as the most common misconception around dog training ● Why Jacqui wants parents to take a closer look at the relationship between their dog and their child ● Why socialization for your puppy is NOT the only answer to behavior problems ● Why we sometimes have to adjust our expectations of life with “this dog” because of their individuality ● Why Jacqui starts her training by assessing how a dog deals with different types of pressure ● Why training should focus on small steps and ONE thing at a time ● What to do when you’re at the end of your rope with a problem dog ● Why the best question to ask when getting a dog is, “Which dog will fit best into my lifestyle?” ● What KC discovered about her dog through using aversive methods (with a trainer) and teaching boundaries ● How to use a “welfare lens” in understanding long-term stress vs. a stressful moment in your dog’s training Resources and Links: Connect with Jacqui Zakar: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a parent or have spent time with expectant and new parents, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “Breast is best.” The phrase is used to promote breastfeeding as a superior way to feed a baby, and it has terrorized many new parents along the way. My guest is Mallory Whitmore, “The Formula Mom,” who is a passionate advocate for formula-feeding parents. Join us for the discussion! Show Highlights: ● How and when “breast is best” originated and became a popular slogan ● The tragic and manipulative history of formula marketing ● How “Breast is best” has come to symbolize superior parenting choices and not merely nutrition ● How breastfeeding is often the first failure in parenthood and one that causes extreme mom guilt ● Mallory’s take on the question: Is breast best? ● Why most parenting choices are a cost/benefit decision ● The truth about the data behind “Breast is Best”---and why the research is skewed ● KC’s personal experience of struggling to breastfeed and switching to formula ● Why the fundamental issue here is a woman’s bodily autonomy, something most people support in every other circumstance ● Why the “lacti-vism” movement is wrong in assigning moral superiority to the act of breastfeeding ● The realities of life around breastfeeding on the job and a lack of empathy ● Why Mallory’s mission is to support and empower formula moms to combat the shame—not to convince people not to breastfeed Resources and Links: Connect with Mallory: Instagram, TikTok, and Milk Drunk Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy! Show Highlights: ● An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology ● Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing ● Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits ● Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity ● How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection ● How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life ● The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity ● Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions ● Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings ● An example about the inability to express or understand emotions Resources and Links: Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many people struggle with executive functioning skills, which are the mental skills that we use every day to learn, work, and manage tasks in daily life. My guest is Hannah Choi from Beyond Booksmart. She is an executive function coach who hosts Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast. She has over 20 years of experience working with students of all ages but currently focuses her coaching on college students and adults. Hannah was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and has spent her life trying to figure out systems to make things easier and less awful for those with executive functioning challenges. Join us to learn more from Hannah! Show Highlights: ● An overview of Beyond Booksmart and what they offer through their coaching programs ● How Hannah explains executive function skills ● Why executive function skills are greatly impacted by our stress levels ● How working memory is impaired by executive function challenges ● The importance of figuring out the WHY of your struggle ● How Hannah works with someone with time blindness by using a BVA (budgeted vs. actual) tool ● Why you need to give yourself compassion as you identify your struggle and find workable solutions Resources and Links: Connect with Hannah Choi and Beyond Booksmart: Website and the Focus Forward Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic is about the religious trauma that many people encounter as they grow up, patriarchy, and the way religion tends to weaponize mental health. I’ve had my various issues with religion, but I want this episode to be helpful to those who consider themselves religious and those who do not. I’m joined by Karla, who is an Interfaith Interspiritual minister who refers to herself as “spiritual, but not religious.” Join us! Show Highlights: ● How Rev. Karla came into her “deconstructing religion” phase ● How a journey of religious deconstruction puts a person into a kind of freefall ● What it means to go into the “spiritual wilderness” ● Why Rev. Karla calls herself an unchurched, non-conforming Christian ● Why we should question authority, religion, and the patriarchy ● How we are intuitively connected to our inner wisdom and what is happening around us ● Why we need spiritual autonomy ● Thoughts on the Netflix documentary, Escaping Twin Flames ● How some religions weaponize any mental health issues as indicators that faith, spiritual grounding, and leadership potential are lacking ● Why sexual exploitation almost always shows up when patriarchy is in full force ● The correlation between mental health and religious trauma Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Karla: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Spirituality Matters podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we continue with the topic of responsible dog ownership for those with mental health challenges, I’m joined today by Andrew Gleason of Dog Savvy Training. He’s my personal dog trainer, and I love his approach. Join us to learn more about training and teaching your four-legged “wild child.” Show Highlights: ● How Andrew came into the work he does today ● Why most obedience training is a way to control misbehavior—and falls short ● Why most dog behaviors fall into two categories of suppression or reaction ● How Andrew breaks down a simple issue like leash-walking ● How learning for all mammals comes down to constructional model learning and emotional model learning ● How to support your dog’s learning ● What “force-free training” entails with a more holistic approach ● How Andrew attempts to take a healthy approach to limitations, boundaries, and respect ● How common training techniques don’t communicate learning ● How Andrew uses aversions and optimism to teach a dog about the freedom of choice ● An overview of Andrew’s company, Dog SavvyTraining, and their scope of both in-person and virtual training Resources and Links: Connect with Andrew Gleason and Dog Savvy Training: Website and Facebook Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do dogs have to do with struggle care? If you had lived in my shoes, you would understand. What was I thinking? I decided to celebrate all of my kids finally being in school by getting a puppy! It has been a journey of figuring out why I have a dog when I have ADHD and chronic fatigue–but we love our dog! I reached out to four different trainers to talk about the idea that it’s okay to have pets, even if you have struggles in your life. Let’s take a closer look with Ash, Aaron, Steph, and Joel at dog ownership and dog training in a way that ensures a good and mutually fulfilling partnership between our dogs and ourselves. Join us! Show Highlights: ● The fact is that life changes, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to give a dog a good life. The bare minimum is okay until you can do better. ● An emphasis on owner-focused training gives high-output results with low input; the small things count! ● An important factor to consider is energy level management because you can’t always rely on being able to manhandle (or pick up) the dog. ● How to approach dog ownership in regards to breed, size, temperament, habits, and maintenance ● Why a consistent 60% effort is better than an inconsistent pattern of 100% and nothing ● Why the same tips don’t work for every person and every dog ● Why the most important thing is to train your dog on how to handle their energy ● How we over moralize many aspects of dog ownership, like rescue dogs vs. breeder puppies ● How to approach physical exercise AND mental exercise with your dog ● How a dog’s needs can be met in ways that fit in with ANY lifestyle ● Training priorities for a dog living with an owner with a struggle care background ● How to know if your dog is happy ● Enrichment activities for dogs that don’t involve the owner ● Why dogs are community builders Resources and Links: Connect with Ash: Website, TikTok, and Instagram Connect with Aaron: TikTok Connect with Steph: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Podcast Connect with Joel: TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We continue our family vlogging conversation today, discussing how often our kids get put out and displayed on the internet and how that affects them. I have Catie Reay joining me to talk about how children get exploited in family vlogging. Catie was raised in a religious cult and had to overcome childhood sexual abuse. Now, she advocates for children online, dedicating her time to helping parents navigate conversations with their children about online safety. Her viewpoint will provide everyone with food for thought. Let’s dive in! Show Highlights: How putting children online can still have negative consequences, even if there is no abuse Catie reveals how family vlogging channels fail to protect children from abuse, sexualization, and stalking The controversy surrounding family vloggers who monetize their children's content Why it's exploitative to use children for creating online content as they cannot consent to being broadcast to millions of people How child actors face exploitation in the entertainment industry The importance of considering children's privacy and emotional well-being when creating and consuming parenting content How creating digital scrapbooks for children without proper consent can potentially result in long-term emotional distress How children get forced to sign NDAs by their parents to prevent them from speaking publicly about their experiences The challenges of balancing the demands of social media and parenthood The importance of parents being proactive in adjusting their children’s digital habits to prevent them from being sexualized online Why parents must protect their children’s digital footprints Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Catie Reay on Instagram and TikTok (@thetiktokadvocate) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you have much experience with family vlogs, chances are that today’s topic has crossed your mind. My guest, Cam, is here to share her personal experience growing up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers.” Cam is an international advocate for children of influencers and family vloggers. She takes a stand against child exploitation, going as far as speaking to lawmakers and appearing in documentaries. Her perspective will give us all something to think about. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● How to understand what family vlogging is ● Cam’s take on two high-profile cases involving family vlogs that have been in the headlines ● Cam’s experience as a child when her life was on display through her mom’s blog ● What happens to a child when a parent overshares about their lives ● How controversy always causes people to “click”--and more clicks mean more money! ● The effect of growing up with a lack of privacy that caused embarrassment and vulnerability in Cam ● Why consent is at the heart of this issue for kids ● Can family vlogging be done ethically? ● Why it can be devastating to feel exposed by the people who should protect you the most ● Cam’s advocacy efforts to keep children from being exploited online Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are an avid Love is Blind watcher, you will definitely relate to this episode. If you haven’t watched the show, we will catch you up on the structure of the show and why it is so fascinating as a study in relationships, both healthy and toxic. Emily and I both made lists of relationship red flags that we noticed in Love is Blind, and we are discussing those and how they relate to real-life relationships. As a disclaimer, I know that reality TV is heavily edited and that everything is contextual. We don’t know these people personally, so please take our opinions with a grain of salt. Join us! Show Highlights: ● A look at Izzy and Stacey’s relationship—and the red flags on both sides of this polarizing couple ● A Red Flag: Teasing and comments about appearance ○ What to watch out for: In early dating relationships, look out for how quick someone is to tease you about your physical appearance. ● A Red Flag: When someone doesn’t have the emotional skill set to hold space for past trauma, mistakes, and vulnerability ○ What to watch out for: Someone who wants to establish their moral superiority to hold the power in the relationship. ● A Red Flag: When someone’s enjoyment of me decreases if I’m not sexually attractive to them ○ What to watch out for: Someone who shuts down when you don’t look your best. ● A Red Flag: Fake intimacy defending itself as “honesty” in disclosing vulnerabilities that are hurtful to their partner ○ What to watch out for: Someone who is emotionally immature about what intimacy and vulnerability mean in a monogamous relationship ● The nuances of financial stability in a relationship–and who should pay for dates ● Factors that determine compatibility in a relationship–and why that matters so much Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Rose: Instagram and Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, gratitude is an important topic. It is important to offer a more nuanced perspective, because gratitude can be complicated and can look very different for different people. Gratitude goes beyond the simple phrase, “Just be grateful.” In today’s Part 1 of two episodes, we want to give people a brave place to let their true feelings be what they are, regardless of others’ expectations. How do we practice gratitude in a way that isn’t toxic positivity but still validates our feelings and raises our quality of life? My friend, Christine Koh, is here to contribute to the discussion. She is a speaker, creative consultant, author of Minimalist Parenting, and the podcast co-host of Edit Your Life. Join us! Show Highlights: ● How we define gratitude–it doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone! ● How gratitude can be an embracing the joy that is random in life–just as suffering is ● How we define toxic positivity–and how it relates to motherhood ● Why we, as a society, aren’t very good at sitting with uncomfortable emotions and pain ● How Christine’s background and Asian heritage inform her view of toxic positivity ● How spiritual bypassing relates to toxic positivity in not allowing feelings to be processed and explored ● Why Christine is a fan of cognitive reframing–and how she uses this practical exercise to “flip the script” ● Why we have to give voice to our suffering to process the feelings and move toward growth ● How gratitude is an emotional muscle that we have to flex in our own ways ● Christine’s advice to parents about teaching gratitude while not pushing toxic positivity on our kids ● Why it is important for parents to model a wide range of emotions in front of our kids Resources and Links: Connect with Christine Koh: Website, Podcast, and Minimalist Parenting book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a Southerner, you know we have unique words, phrases, and expressions that are not understood by people who aren’t from around here. My guest today is doing his part to educate the world about all things Southern as the content creator behind his hilarious social media accounts on Instagram and TikTok. Landon Bryant is a Laurel, MS, native whose Southern roots go deep; he is an art educator by profession–and he is learning to navigate life with ADHD. Join us to hear more from Landon! Show Highlights: ● An introduction to the Southern words “piddlin’” and “putterin’”---and what they mean ● How Landon was diagnosed with ADHD as a college student and finally received helpful accommodations ● Why Landon feels that being an art teacher is the perfect profession for someone like him ● Why mental health issues carry a heavy stigma in the South, especially in rural areas where the church is the dominant force in the community ● Highlights of Landon’s book, Bless Your Heart, “a beautiful guide to life down here” (Set to publish in early 2025) ● How conversations and comments about ”fixin’ to” were how Landon got started on social media ● How Landon’s wife, with a special education background, helps him in the writing process ● How Landon is learning and growing on his writing journey by capitalizing on focused moments of inspiration ● Accommodations that help him the most: lists, alarms, Google calendar, batching Resources and Links: Connect with Landon: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ● What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ● KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ● How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ● Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ● KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ● How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ● Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Earlier this week, our episode 59, A Grief Observed, featured three people answering the same questions about their personal experience with grief. There was actually a fourth person, Meg Boberg, with very different circumstances, and her story is today’s episode. She shares her experience with “anticipatory grief,” where she grieves a loved one who has not yet passed. Unfortunately, Meg’s mother has now passed on since we recorded this interview. We extend heartfelt condolences to Meg and her family in this loss, and we sincerely thank her for transparently sharing her and her mother’s poignant story with us. Join us for Meg’s grief story. Show Highlights: ● What is anticipatory grief? ● Highlights of Meg’s experience with her mother’s terminal cancer diagnosis since 2019, including writing an article about their shared experience ● How Meg responds to the questions, “What can I do? How can I help?” ● What people said or did that was helpful in the face of her mom’s terminal diagnosis ● What people have said or done that was not helpful ● How close friends have shown up for Meg during her anticipatory grief ● Why saying something is better than saying nothing at all ● Why the only thing that is NEVER helpful is to disappear, disengage, and not make any effort with a grieving person Resources and Links: Read the article written by Meg and her mother, Linda: Navigating Preparatory & Anticipatory Grief Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is an unusual one as I’m joined by three different guests. We are getting a different perspective on grief as we wade into the messy complexity of interacting with someone deep into grief and being the person in grief who is trying to field all those interactions. These three people have experienced grief in losing someone very close to them. I ask them the same questions about what people said and did that were helpful gestures AND those that were not helpful, along with what they wish people would have done and said. Their varying answers are insightful and revealing, helping us to understand that there is no one right answer to navigating grief. Being human is complex and messy, and there is no better example of that than when grief and loss slam into our lives. Join us to hear the different perspectives on grief from my friends, Shayna, Rachel, and Portia. *Sensitivity warning: We are talking about death in this episode, so be aware that our specific topics are infant death, spousal death, and the death of a close friend. Show Highlights: ● My first guest, Portia Burch: ○ How she lost her close friend, Tish, unexpectedly, around the same time as another meaningful loss in her life ○ The value of those who “bear witness” to our loss ○ How Portia responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○ Why Portia wanted people to let her be, act normal around her, and not expect too much from her ○ Why it’s good to ask someone how they would like for us to proceed as they deal with a loss ○ How we can rephrase our questions into statements and listen to context clues to better follow up with someone during grief ○ Things people say that are not helpful during grief: comments like “this will get easier,” and “she’s in a better place” ○ What it really means to comfort someone ○ What we should talk more about the joy of a person’s life instead the fact that someone is gone ○ Why Portia says, “Grief is what we feel when our love has no place to go.” ● My next guest, Rachel: ○ How she lost her husband, Jim, in 2017, just before Father’s Day ○ How Rachel responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○ How Rachel thought of grief and the people in proximity to it as ripples on a pond ○ Ways in which people were actually helpful with tangible support and care ○ Why Rachel vigilantly safeguarded how her husband’s death was explained to her kids ○ Rachel’s take on what to say and do to help someone experiencing acute grief ● My next guest, Shayna Raphael: ○ How she lost her daughter, Claire, eight years ago as an infant ○ How Shayna responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?” ○ What people did for Shayna and her family that were helpful actions ○ Things people did or said that were NOT helpful: comments about religion, closure, “a better place,” etc. ○ Why it isn’t helpful when people try to force comfort on a grieving person ○ Why those who show up and “enter into the messiness” are comforting ○ How Shayna found help and support through a Facebook group ○ Why Shayna and her husband founded the Claire Bear Foundation to provide safe sleep spaces to families across the US Resources and Links: Connect with our guests: The Claire Bear Foundation Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We continue with a Part 2 segment on the topic of hoarding. Many underlying issues play into disorders around hoarding, and they may vary widely from person to person. The good news is that there are multi-faceted resources and professionals available to help and jumpstart the process of change! I’m joined by Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail, a professional organizer, presenter, and hoarding consultant. From her background as an educator, Dr. Leslie obtained her Ph.D. in Community Psychology and formed a new approach to those with organizational challenges, coming from a place of curiosity and a genuine desire to help. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● How Dr. Leslie became a professional organizer ● How the hoarding TV shows usually try to present the person’s background and trauma that have led to hoarding tendencies ● How hoarding was originally classified as a subtype of OCD and not its own disorder ● Why many hoarders think they need the protection of “stuff” because they have been violated in some way ● Why simply cleaning out a hoarder’s stuff does NOT fix the problem or help in the long run ● The best ways to help raise awareness about hoarding disorders ● The stages of readiness in making changes: awareness (thinking about change), planning action, and taking action ● How Dr. Leslie uses an icebreaker worksheet to start the conversation about possible hoarding problems ● Where to begin if you need help with hoarding issues and want to change Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail: Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Mentioned by Dr. Leslie: Helpful resources through the Chicagoland Hoarding Task Force Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoarding: the word is recognizable, but the truth is that most people don’t understand what hoarding is and how it happens. We are pulling back the curtain on the deeper emotions behind hoarding in today’s episode. I’m joined by “That Hoarder,” the host of the podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding. You will notice that we are not using her name as she wishes to remain anonymous. Anonymity allows her to talk openly and honestly about hoarding and its stigma and shame. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● What hoarding looks like–and why it’s much more than simply having “too much stuff” ● The transition from being a “messy” person to someone who couldn’t let anything go ● How That Hoarder realized she had an organization problem ● Why finding bargains is a problem for That Hoarder ● Why she started her podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding ● How she began therapy for PTSD and slowly revealed the hoarding disorder ● What therapy techniques have helped That Hoarder: doing “experiments,” dealing with overwhelm, and asking why ● Why curiosity is a valuable tool for That Hoarder ● Common misconceptions about hoarding disorder ● That Hoarder’s advice for someone with a friend or family member with hoarding challenges ● What to consider when children are being raised in a hoarding environment ● How to gain confidence and exercise your de-hoarding muscle ● Helpful mantras and motivations that work best for That Hoarder ● Early warning signs that someone is passing from being messy into hoarding ● Why hoarding is more than just “keeping too much stuff” and boils down to the struggles of mental anguish, obsessing, and compulsion Resources and Links: Connect with That Hoarder: Website and Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I stumbled across Emily Haswell on TikTok, and I knew immediately that we would be friends. Listen to hear Emily’s TikTok about wearing the “circus tent with pockets” that led her to say (as a 33-year-old plus-sized woman), “I will NOT be influenced again by what the skinny-girl influencers say we MUST have!” She has started a de-influencing movement that I’m totally here for. Join us to laugh and learn more! Show Highlights: ● How Emily got more followers when she started her honest, de-influencing movement ● Why KC hashired Emily as creative director for the Struggle Care podcast ● Why KC and Emily decided to cancel on having the well-known, Emmy-nominated Netflix stars, The Minimalists ● How we critique The Minimalists’ philosophy because it spreads shame and doesn’t hold the value we are looking for (and who really does the dishes in their house anyway?) ● How we have reacted to influencers with harmful messaging on health, hoarding, domestic tasks, etc. Resources and Links: Connect with Emily Haswell: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Social anxiety is a common experience for many people. Today’s show is about the tips and tricks we can use to deal with this kind of anxiety when we have to be social and in public. Join us to learn more! I’m joined by Michelle Huillet, an interpersonal communication instructor at Oregon State University in Corvallis, Oregon. In her interpersonal communication course for college freshmen and sophomores, Michelle teaches all about communication in relationships, including listening, nonverbal communication, emotions, and social anxiety. Show Highlights: ● How social anxiety boils down to a fear of judgment ● How Michelle’s students describe their social anxiety ● Why many people who struggle with social anxiety look comfortable and confident on the outside ● Accommodations for social anxiety ● How nonverbal cues, like eye contact, can allow people with social anxiety to remain engaged and participate ● Challenges to do with baby steps to become more comfortable with social anxiety by “getting your feet wet” ● How our imperfections bring connection points–and give a gift to those around us ● Michelle’s words of wisdom for those who have social anxiety Resources and Links: Mentioned in this episode: The Anxiety Healer's Guide: Coping Strategies and Mindfulness Techniques to Calm the Mind and Body by Alison Seponara Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are exploring the world of parenthood today, but this episode might be helpful even for those who aren’t parents. We are all in some process of trying to reparent ourselves, and it can be healing to hear how people are parenting, how they are failing, and why they want to do better. I’m joined by Yolanda Williams, who has built the Parenting Decolonized brand. She is a single mom, a conscious parenting coach, and a racial justice educator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● Why sleep and parenting is a no-win situation for parents: the essence of the co-sleep vs. sleep train debate ● Why parents have to figure out when their child is dysregulated and what works best for them–even if goes against “the rules” ● How parents can learn about their triggers and how they project those triggers into the world ● Why we don’t understand the fears, shame, and motivation that cause other parents to do what they do ● How Yolanda feels about the parent-coaching industry ● How Yolanda has built an intentional community in the absence of the ancestral village ● How capitalism and racism have infiltrated our parenting techniques ● Why Yolanda is working to form an intentional village community where parents help each other with whatever their “privilege” is ● How to start decolonizing your parenting ● What we should teach our kids about violence, restraint, bullying, and self-defense ● A look at Yolanda’s recent parenting “wins” Resources and Links: Connect with Yolanda Williams: Website, Parenting Decolonized podcast, and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to this bonus episode! For the next few weeks I’ll be putting out some bonus content, and today we will explore coping skills. It’s a phrase that’s become a buzzword in the psychology world right now, along with emotional regulation, feelings, and trauma. Let’s clarify these concepts that may have gotten watered down with a closer look. Show Highlights: ● “Emotional regulation” defined and explained: what it is and what it is not ● The definition, Part 1: “Emotional regulation is the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with a range of emotions and in a manner that is socially tolerable . . .” It is OK to have your feelings! ● The definition, Part 2: “ . . . and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions, as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.” Being emotionally regulated doesn’t mean you are a robot! ● What it means to operate within your “window of tolerance,” the optimal zone of arousal (not in a sexual sense, but nervous system activation) for a person to function in everyday life ● How your window of tolerance has red zones at the top and bottom of hyper- and hypo-arousal ● The learning zone vs. the comfort zone ● How coping skills help us bring ourselves back to the window of tolerance in the comfort zone ● Why we should morally neutralize ALL coping skills ● Examples of coping skills that help you stay out of the red zones and regulate well ● Why self-compassion is THE most important coping skill Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever been told to “do a mindfulness practice” only to find that it doesn’t work? Let’s talk about some alternatives to mindfulness that can help with unhelpful thoughts and negative feelings. I’m joined by Dr. Raquel Martin, a psychologist who’s here to discuss this hot topic in the current “therapy talk.” She may sound familiar to you if you’ve listened to my audiobook, How to Keep House While Drowning, as she wrote the section about caring for black hair when you might be struggling. Show Highlights: ● How Dr. Raquel defines mindfulness ● How mindfulness helps us distance ourselves from unhelpful thoughts and negative feelings ● Why it’s helpful to think, “This is just a thing” ● Why mindfulness is not the best fit for everyone ● How a “stress kit” can be helpful ● Why deep breathing is not the regulation answer for everyone ● How alternatives to journaling can be beneficial without “writing” ● Why therapy and coping skills must be customized to the individual ● The difference in rules and boundaries ● How different our world would be if people received mental health support ● Why compassion and understanding are the keys in understanding a person’s mental health struggles and individualizing their treatment Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Raquel Martin: Website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Mind Your Mental Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the show that will make you take a closer look at how the work is shared in your household. The problem cannot be solved by simply handing out to-do lists. I’m joined by Eve Rodsky, who is working to change society one partnership at a time by promoting a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem. Still today, women shoulder two-thirds or more of the unpaid domestic work and child care for their homes and families, and this burden is taking its toll! Again, there are deeper issues to consider. Let’s talk about this topic with Eve! Show Highlights: ● How Eve came to write her book, Fair Play ● How many wives/moms have an automatically assigned role in their homes ● How the shift in marriage occurs where women do most of the “invisible work” ● How Eve’s book is structured with information and practical ways to divide labor ● How a story about the Tooth Fairy illustrates the mindset shifts that need to happen in both partners to have fair play ● Why couples get into a measuring contest about whose job is harder ● Why we need to break down harmful norms that hurt us all and be clear about each partner’s role ● Is your home infested by RATs? (randomly assigned tasks) ● Why accountability and trust are vital in home organization ● Why the mental load is more taxing in most cases than the actual execution of tasks ● How to view boundaries with a fresh and freeing perspective and find your “unicorn space” Resources and Links: Connect with Eve Rodsky: Website, Instagram (Fair Play Life), Instagram (Eve), and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We focus a lot on this show about survival skills regarding your life and your home. When we struggle–and our mental health is at stake–we have to let go of lofty ideals and just do the basic tasks we need to survive. Even though interior design is not normally classified as a survival skill, as today’s guest says, “We all deserve beauty.” It’s true. We do. I’m joined by Katie Soro, a vintage dealer and artist who decided to start a new kind of interior design to fuel her passion for vintage and helping people find, curate, see, and experience beauty. Let’s dive deeper into this important topic. Show Highlights: ● Why function AND beauty can coexist—and you deserve them both in your home ● The first step in decorating your home: Don’t think about what others will say; there is NO wrong way to do it. ● How a lifeless, inanimate thing can be beautiful and bring creativity to your home ● How thrifting and antiquing allow you to curate your own style that speaks to you ● Why beauty in interior design comes from the feelings we get from beautiful things ● Katie’s practical tips for home design: (Keep in mind that there is NO right way to do it.) ● Start with a room by considering the mood and function you want in that room. ● Use lighting to set the mood and be functional for tasks. ● Use wall art, and remember that it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. ● Katie’s tips for finding design inspiration: Think outside the box, use Pinterest, don’t be afraid to try and fail more than once, and start thrifting to find unique pieces that speak to you. Resources and Links: Connect with Katie Saro: Website, Instagram, The Art of Vintage TV Show (Magnolia Network and Discovery+) Mentioned in this episode: www.shopgoodwill.com Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s conversation brings us to the unusual intersection of social media influence, DIY home repair, and trans activism. I’m excited to introduce you to my amazing guest for today’s show! Mercury Stardust, the “Trans Handy Ma’am,” is a professional home maintenance technician, burlesque performer, author, and award-winning activist. Mercury credits her TikTok success to her experience teaching burlesque, where she learned to communicate and create a safe space for students who had frequently experienced trauma. She has been featured in stories by NBC, NPR, Buzzfeed, Newsweek, the Washington Post, and Pink News. Her leadership within the trans community has led to collaborations with such brands as I Fix It, Lowe’s, and the trans healthcare community Point of Pride. Mercury’s recent livestream fundraiser ended up raising over $2.2 million, and she’s embarking on a huge book tour this fall to promote her book, Safe & Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair. Show Highlights: ● How Mercury created a safe space with “Gentle DIY” in the male-dominated handyman world ● How Mercury became a home maintenance technician to supplement her living as a cabaret performer ● Why Mercury’s content caters to apartment renters and others who may not be comfortable with tools and DIY repairs ● Why Mercury shows up authentically without pretense and perfectionism ● What it’s like to be a prominent trans woman on the internet and still manage her mental health ● How Mercury handles the task of setting boundaries with people to protect her emotional and mental health ● Highlights from Mercury’s book, Safe & Sound, and her upcoming 52-city book tour ● How Mercury leans into her weaknesses and insecurities Resources and Links: Connect with Mercury Stardust: Website, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, and Safe & Sound book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Honestly, this is a topic for everyone. Today’s show applies to all of us, whether we are parents, future parents, or someone who needs to heal their inner child. I’m excited to be joined by Rachel Nielson, the host and founder of the 3in30 Podcast. She interviewed me on a recent episode, and she’s returning the favor by joining me for this important conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: ● The structure for Rachel’s 3in30 podcast: 3 actionable takeaways in 30 minutes ● Why parenting values are far superior to parenting rules ● Why success in motherhood is most definable by the connection we have with our kids ● What Rachel teaches in her program, Self-Assured Motherhood ● Why there is an opportunity to parent your inner child by identifying your core parenting values ● How you can have different values for different seasons of your life and family ● How Rachel’s program helps women identify and uncover their values by looking inward and outward ● Why our values might be in conflict with each other ● How parenting partners can handle conflict in their individual parenting values ● Takeaways from Rachel about embracing your values, accepting them, and living into them authentically Resources and Links: Connect with Rachel Nielson: Website and Podcast Find Rachel’s list of parenting values: www.3in30podcast.com/values Mentioned in this episode: The Family Firm by Emily Oster Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you have too much stuff? As you look around your home, is it crowded and cluttered? Does your space make you feel burdened, unhappy, and frustrated? If you said–or shouted–YES, you can’t miss today’s show. Join me to learn more about gentle organizing. Alison Lush is a Certified Professional Organizer, Certified Virtual Organizer, and Master Trainer. After a 20-year catering career, Alison knew she needed better organization and management skills for her home and personal comfort. She learned to live and shop intentionally, creating and protecting the space in her home. Now she puts her expertise to work in helping others by empowering them and teaching them to put themselves at the center of their organization efforts. Show Highlights: How Alison became an organizer with a gentle spirit Why our interactions with our home, space, time, and belongings form the foundations of our lives Why Alison’s focus is on “organic organizing” Alison’s answer to a question sent in by Samantha about dealing with clutter, letting things go, and the functionality of her space How to organize your space by using Zone 1, Zone 2, and Zone 3—and consider the frequency of access for each item Ways to keep, honor, and display memorabilia by identifying the risk level in letting items go How to consider the purpose of items in our lives in deciding to keep them or let them go Alison’s answer to a question from Kitty about decorating, a sense of style, and learning to feel good about her space How to reframe what might look crappy and rundown to you as a life well-lived, meaningful, and full of love Why your decor should fuel you and recharge your batteries Alison’s answer to a question from Aria about separating and managing work life and home life How to legitimize, categorize, and systemize your space for the best functionality Why the professional organizing industry has the reputation of telling people to “just get rid of your stuff” Resources: Connect with Alison: www.alisonlush.ca and TikTok Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources: Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. Imani Barbarin is a disability rights and inclusion activist and speaker who uses her platform for conversations around the disability community. I’ve followed her for a while on TikTok and appreciate the way she expresses her opinions and helps educate the rest of us. Come join us now! Show Highlights: How Imani explored and discovered her passion for advocacy for disability and inclusion rights How climate change and disability are linked Why environmental ableism is a real thing How people have become victims of their non-nuanced thinking, only wanting to be on the “right” side Why the COVID pandemic has become a “mass-disabling” event, especially regarding mental health Examples of ways in which the environmental movement has left those with disabilities behind Why society has a general disdain for disabled people and believes that they don’t (or won’t) contribute to society How the luxury of abled people trumps the necessity of the disabled What the function of capitalism is on disabled bodies How disabled people are used as pawns in the pro-choice/pro-life debate Why there is inherent racism in the pro-life movement What laziness is and is not Resources: Connect with Imani: Website and Instagram Resources mentioned: https://www.sinsinvalid.org, https://disasterstrategies.org, https://www.americanprogress.org Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we are diving into executive functioning, which is a popular term being bounced around in mental health communities. I want to take a closer look at what it means and how it shows up in people’s lives. Join me to learn more from today’s guest! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Dr. Lesley and I met on TikTok, and I’m happy to have her here today! Show Highlights: A common-language definition and explanation of executive functioning How executive function deficits show up in someone’s life How shame, guilt, and inconsistent performance are clues to executive function problems The difference between motivation and task initiation Why the underlying issue with lack of motivation is more about what a person values How a person’s sense of self is affected when they believe their authentic self is “bad” Why external supports are necessary when an internal system is down Why rhythm is better than routine for those with executive function disorder How neurotypical people experience interruptions with executive functioning on a regular basis because of overload and anxiety How blips in executive function occur in neurotypical people with predictability and response to intervention—as opposed to someone with a diagnosis How someone with ADHD can have incredible deficits in executive function on days when everything is going their way–and won’t respond reliably to normal interventions How to build into each day differing levels of acceptable outcomes–and give yourself permission to choose what fits your needs at that moment Lesley’s advice to those who think they have executive functioning issues Resources: Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Find great resources about executive functioning: www.understood.org, www.psychologytoday.com, and https://chadd.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices