Stiff Socks

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socksThe boys go from debating DUI tests and breathalyzers into absurd ideas like training to beat them, find out about the first documented glory hole and wrap it up with March Madness and one of the most unhinged coach reactions ever.🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com01:15 – “Practice DUI tests at a bar” concept02:30 – Realization: entire pod so far = horrible advice03:30 – GTA / Saints Row drunk driving discussion05:00 – Breathalyzer in cars + dating nightmare15:48 – Cyberattack disables breathalyzers (Maine story)17:30 – “Safest cyberattack ever” discussion25:30 – Over-ice espresso debate29:00 – Airport security flaws / samurai sword idea34:00 – Flashbang36:30 – Glory hole39:20 – Filming strangers / First Amendment guys50:40 – First documented glory hole01:04:40 - SOCK TALK UCONN COACH01:12:00 - SECRET SOCKThanks to: ShipStation, GLD, Factor, and Golden Nugget Online Casino for sponsoring the podcastShipStationshipstation.comTry ShipStation free for 60 days with code SOCKSGLDgld.comGet 50% off with code SOCKSFactorfactormeals.com/socks50offGet 50% off + free breakfast for 1 year with code SOCKS50OFFGolden Nugget Online Casinogoldennuggetcasino.com/promosUse code STIFFSOCKS Get 500 spins (50/day for 10 days) after wagering $5 21+ • Terms apply

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to: BetterHelp, PrizePicks, ShipStation, GameTime, and Mint Mobile for sponsoring the podcastBetterHelpbetterhelp.com/socksGet 10% off your first monthPrizePicksprizepicks.comUse code SOCKS to get $50 in lineups after your first $5 playShipStationshipstation.comUse promo code SOCKSGameTimeDownload the GameTime appUse code SOCKS for $20 off your first purchaseMint Mobilemintmobile.com/socksGet 50% off unlimited premium wireless Plans start at $15/month

The episode opens with a hilarious story about measuring penis size that quickly turns into a spiral of ego, overthinking, and questionable decisions. The conversation shifts into life when your partner’s away, leaning into “divorced dad” habits and surprisingly thoughtful relationship talk about gifts and love languages. Things get chaotic again with random philosophy, lifestyle observations, and one of the funniest segments—Secret Sock, where they try to name everyday objects and completely fail. The back half dives into weird facts, a wild imp Thanks to Quince, Bluechew, Mack Weldon, AcreGold, and Lumi Gummies for sponsoring the podcast: Quince quince.com/stiffsocks Free shipping + 365-day returns BlueChew bluechew.com 10% off BlueChew Gold with code SOCKS Mack Weldon mackweldon.com Get 20% off orders $125+ with code SOCKS Acre Gold getacregold.com Subscribe for gold + giveaways (gold bars, exclusive drops) Lumi Gummies / Lumi Labs lumigummies.com Get 30% off with code SOCKS

The boys discuss rumors about the Scrub Daddy founder, a bizarre celebration of life at an Iowa college, and Trevor dealing with a random trespasser. 00:12 Squatty Potty creator arrested 02:24 Imagining a grown man using a Squatty Potty 03:32 Rich CEOs 06:31 Prediction of next CEO scandal (Scrub Daddy) 07:55 - AD 18:47 Neighbor letting dog poop on lawn story 19:21 - AD 27:11 Dog owner etiquette 28:05 Revenge ideas 29:57 - AD 34:15 Cigarette smoke 39:56 Michael Vick 40:09 - AD 42:14 Atlanta Hawks “Magic City Night” 44:02 Famous Magic City lemon pepper wings 46:30 University of Iowa hazing video discussion 52:54 “Die for this frat” 57:28 - AD 59:46 Celebration of Life 01:14:25 - SOCK TALK 01:22:30 - SECRET SOCK

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to: BlueChew, Shopify, Cash App, and Ultra for sponsoring the podcastBlueChew BlueChew.com Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code SOCKS.Shopify shopify.com/socks Start selling today with Shopify’s $1/month trial.Cash App Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financialservices platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions athttps://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cashback offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visithttp://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Ultra TakeUltra.com Get 15% off with code SOCKS.

The boys spiral from suburban warfare over dog poop in a trash can into a full-blown midlife crisis fantasy involving green Lambos and unhinged license plates like “ID8 MOMS.” Along the way they debate spandex bike culture, Netflix turning vertical, cruise ship disappearances, and why LA ice cream flavors need to calm down. It all ends in with restaurant birthday rants, Sock Talk conspiracies, and one very committed stance on eating around the nuts.Thanks to: Mint Mobile, ShipStation, GLD, Lumi Gummies, and BetterHelp for sponsoring the podcastMint Mobile – https://www.mintmobile.com/socksReady to stop paying more than you have to?New customers can switch today and get unlimited premium wireless for $15/month for a limited time.Switch now at mintmobile.com/socksThat’s mintmobile.com/socks.ShipStation – https://www.shipstation.comTry ShipStation free for 60 days with full access and no credit card required.Go to shipstation.com and use code SOCKS for 60 days free.That’s shipstation.com, code SOCKS.60 days to see exactly how much time and money you're saving.GLD – https://www.gld.comWork hard and change the game.New customers get 50% off with code SOCKS at gld.com.That’s 50% off with code SOCKS at gld.com.After purchase, tell them the show sent you — it helps support us.Lumi Gummies – https://www.lumigummies.comLumi Gummies are available nationwide.Go to lumigummies.com and use code SOCKS for 30% off your order.That’s L-U-M-I gummies dot com — code SOCKS.BetterHelp – https://www.betterhelp.com/socksSign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/socks.That’s B-E-T-T-E-R H-E-L-P dot com slash SOCKS

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com01:36 – Plane story officially begins09:44 – Missed flight story begins27:20 – Burnt toast theory29:32 – Waymo / remote drivers in the Philippines reveal40:27 – Robot delivery + tipping46:35 – Winter Olympics48:27 – Norwegian bronze medal cheating confession story.57:18 – Award rabbit holeThanks to: Acre Gold, Good Chop, BlueChew, Shopify, and Quince for sponsoring the podcastAcre Gold – https://www.getacregold.comyou can win two 5g Ancient Collection gold bars. Start your subscription and enter todayGood Chop – https://www.goodchop.com/podcast Use code 50SOCKS to get $50 off plus free shipping on your first order at goodchop.com/podcast BlueChew Gold – https://www.bluechew.comGet 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code SOCKS.Shopify – https://www.shopify.com/socks Sign up for your $1/month trialQuince – https://www.quince.com/stiffsocks Go to quince.com/stiffsocks for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThe guys spiral from a story about an 88-year-old man showing up to a hospital with a World War I bomb shell lodged in his rectum into debates about youth basketball prodigies, getting dunked on by Carmelo, and whether Punxsutawney Phil is a government plant. Then they dive into AI renting humans to run errands, voice-cloning kidnapping scams and anti j.o. propaganda videosThanks to: BetterHelp, Cash App, Factor, Mack Weldon, and Shopify for sponsoring the podcastBetterHelp – https://www.betterhelp.com/socks Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp dot com slash SOCKS.Cash App – Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions athttps://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visithttp://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Factor – https://www.factormeals.com/socks50offUse code SOCKS50OFF to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year.Mack Weldon – https://www.mackweldon.comget 20% off your first order of $125 or more with promo code SOCKS. Shopify – https://www.shopify.com/socksStart your business today with Shopify.

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to: Golden Nugget Online Casino, PrizePicks, Lumi Gummies, 1-800-Flowers, and BlueChew for sponsoring the podcastGolden Nugget Online Casino – goldennuggetcasino.com/promos New players get 500 spins on any Huff N’ Puff slot Download the Golden Nugget Online Casino app and sign up with code STIFFSOCKSPrizePicks – prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/SOCKS Download the PrizePicks app today and use code SOCKS to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup!Lumi Gummies – lumigummies.com Lumi Gummies are available nationwide Go to lumigummies.com and use code SOCKS for 30%1-800-Flowers – 1800flowers.com/socksget two dozen roses FREE with the Double Blooms offerBlueChew Gold – bluechew.comGet 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code SOCKS

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com02:34 – “2016 sucked”2:45 - Bakersfield Stripclubs17:48 – First open mics & bad outfits22:58 – First apartment stories33:54 – Internet heartthrobs & viral mugshots50:00 - Choppelgangers51:00 - Trevor and Fernando Mendoza????55:22 – Body cam footage55:00 – Sock Talk56:00 - Landman Scene breakdown59:00 - Creating Jingles 01:04:42 – Secret SockThanks to: ShipStation, Mint Mobile, and Ridge for sponsoring the podcastShipStation – shipstation.com Try ShipStation free for 60 days — full access, no credit card required Go to shipstation.com and use code SOCKSMint Mobile – mintmobile.com/socks Quit overspending on wireless Get 50% off Unlimited premium wireless —Ridge Wallet – ridge.com/stiffsocks Upgrade your wallet today Get 10% off with code STIFFSOCKS at ridge.com/stiffsocks #Ridgepod Review FTC ad disclosure rules: ftc.gov/influencers

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com:20 – Candy bars, Malibu rum, sugar hangovers3:07 – “Nobody will remember us in 200 years” existential spiral8:40 – Street performers16:50 – Teddy Swims joins street singer21:06 – Autistic Barbie reveal27:18 – Ken vs Allen32:20 – Diabetes Barbie36:48 – Blind Barbie39:29 – Toy Story 5 villain46:51 – Missing the best part of a wet dream49:48 – Sleeping positions45:30 - Sock Talk58:30 - Secret SockThanks to: 1-800-Flowers, Acre Gold, BetterHelp, BlueChew, and Golden Nugget for sponsoring the podcast1-800-Flowers – 1800flowers.com/socks Make this Valentine’s Day one she’ll remember Get your Double Blooms offer — buy one dozen, get two dozen roses FREEAcre Gold – getacregold.com win 3 limited-edition gold bars from the Ancient Collection Start your subscription and enter today at getacregold.com That’s getacregold.comBetterHelp – betterhelp.com/socks Get 10% off at betterhelp.com/socksBlueChew Gold – bluechew.comGet 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code SOCKSGolden Nugget Online Casino – goldennuggetcasino.com/promos Download the Golden Nugget Online Casino app and sign up with code STIFFSOCKS

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThe guys bounce between real-life chaos and a full-on rant as the episode turns into an unplanned ranking of the worst tech upgrades, from apps and subscriptions to features that somehow made everything more complicated. In between, they spiral through airport disasters and a frozen yogurt gift card nightmare.00:00:30 – iPhone Photo App00:01:46 – Trevor got robbed by a coffee shop00:17:38 – Presidents Timeline19:03 – Worst Tech Decisions Ever00:29:31 – NOT EVERYTHING Needs an App00:34:05 – Spotify Wrapped for Everything00:40:12 – Talking to Strangers in Public00:51:00 – Devices Listening to You01:12:30 – Dictionary Word of the Year Rant01:15:00 – New Year’s Ball Drop Confusion01:15:40 – Sock Talk01:16:30 – Secret SockThanks to: Factor, Lumi Gummies, Quince, Cash App, and Mack Weldon for sponsoring the podcastFactor – factormeals.com/socks50off use code SOCKS50OFF to get 50% off your first box + free breakfast for 1 yearLumi Gummies – lumigummies.com use code SOCKS for 30% offQuince – quince.com/stiffsocks free shipping + 365-day returnsCash App – capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve Download Cash App today: capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s) Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC Full terms: cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement Disclosures: cash.app/legal/podcastMack Weldon – mackweldon.com get 20% off your first order of $125 or more with promo code SOCKS

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at / stiffsockspod Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to: PrizePicks, BetterHelp, Shopify, and BlueChew for sponsoring the podcastPrizePicks – prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/SOCKS Download the PrizePicks app and use code SOCKS to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineupBetterHelp – betterhelp.com/socks You can’t step into a lighter version of yourself without letting go of what’s weighing you downShopify – shopify.com/socks In 2026, stop waiting and start selling Sign up now for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/socksBlueChew Gold – bluechew.com Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code SOCKS

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at / stiffsockspod Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comNew Year’s Eve is supposed to be fun, but Trevor and Michael break down why it’s actually all pressure, fake “open bars,” forced midnight kisses, and wildly unhinged superstitions like eating grapes under tables. Then Matteo Lane joins the chaos to talk confidence, nudist colonies, glow-ups, hair transplants, trauma dumping in public, and coming up in comedy.Follow Matteo Lane: Instagram: @matteolaneTikTok: @matteolaneX: @matteolaneYouTube: Matteo LaneWebsite / Tour Dates: https://www.matteolanecomedy.comThanks to Happy Thursday for sponsoring the podcastHappy Thursday – drinkhappythursday.com/socks If you’re feeling thirsty in the new year, have a Happy Thursday Find one near you at drinkhappythursday.com/socks