Star Wars Minute

A shiver runs through the ancient green creature, and he dies. Luke stares at his dead master as he disappears in front of his eyes. Guest commentator: Tony Consiglio See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yoda opens his eyes again and studies the youth. Guest commentator: Tony Consiglio See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A new look of concern crosses Yoda's face. He closes his eyes. Guest commentator: Tony Consiglio See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yoda's eyes are full of weariness and compassion. An odd, sad smile creases his face. He turns painfully on his side, away from Luke. Guest commentator: Tony Consiglio See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Yoda sits himself on his bed, with great effort. Guest commentator: Tony Consiglio See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Luke is sitting in a corner of the cramped space and, indeed, his look has been woeful. Guest commentator: Jenny Jaffe See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Once again, Artoo finds himself waiting around in the damp environs of the swamp planet, and he's none too happy about it. Guest commentator: Jenny Jaffe See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Vader rises and falls in next to the Emperor as he slowly makes his way along the rows of troops. Guest commentator: Jenny Jaffe See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The little skiff skips around the burning Sail Barge, which continues its chain of explosions. Guest commentator: Jenny Jaffe See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Luke runs along the empty deck toward Leia and the barge gun, which she has brought around to point down at the deck. Guest commentator: Jenny Jaffe See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The deck gunners have Chewie and the desperate dangling human chain in their gun sights when something up on deck commands their attention: Luke, standing before them like a pirate king, ignites his lightsaber. Guest commentators: Dan McCoy, Elliott Kalan, and Stuart Wellington See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Exalted Hutt's huge tail spasms through its death throes and then slams down into final stillness. Guest commentators: Dan McCoy, Elliott Kalan, and Stuart Wellington See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With two swift strides, the dangerous Boba Fett ignites his rocket pack, leaps into the air, and flies from the barge down to the skiff. Guest commentators: Dan McCoy, Elliott Kalan, and Stuart Wellington See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Luke looks up at Artoo, then gives a jaunty salute: the signal the little droid has been waiting for. Guest commentators: Dan McCoy, Elliott Kalan, and Stuart Wellington See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Sail Barge stops to one side of the depression, as does the escort skiff. But the prisoner's skiff moves out directly over the center and hovers. Guest commentators: Dan McCoy, Elliott Kalan, and Stuart Wellington See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One of the skiffs glides close, revealing Luke, Han, and Chewie -- all in bonds -- surrounded by guards, one of whom is Lando in disguise. Guest commentators: John Skrzypek and Adam Santiago See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The crowd of creepy courtiers parts as Han and Chewie are brought into the throne room, and other guards drag Luke up the steps. Guest commentators: John Skrzypek and Adam Santiago See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As the Rancor moves in for the kill, Luke picks up a skull from the cave floor and hurls it at the panel. Guest commentators: John Skrzypek and Adam Santiago See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

At the last moment, Luke wedges the bone in the monster's mouth and is dropped to the floor. Guest commentators: John Skrzypek and Adam Santiago See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A few screams, and the guard is swallowed with a gulp. Guest commentators: John Skrzypek and Adam Santiago See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The floor suddenly drops away, sending Luke and the hapless guard into the pit. Guest Commentator: Dan Telfer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Luke stares hard at Jabba. Guest Commentator: Dan Telfer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Noisily, the main gate lifts to flood the blackness with blinding LIGHT and reveal the silhouetted figure of LUKE SKYWALKER. Guest Commentator: Dan Telfer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The shadowy figure lets out a crazy yell and races toward Han, lifting him off the ground with a big hug that carries them into the light, revealing Chewie. Guest Commentator: Dan Telfer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Han is dragged off, as Lando quickly moves forward and attempts to lead Leia away. Guest Commentator: Dan Telfer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As Leia helps her weakened lover to stand up, the relative quiet is pierced by an obscene HUTTESE CACKLE from the other side of the alcove. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The bounty hunter watches as Han's body is freed of its metallic coat and his forearms and hands, previously raised in reflexive protest, drop slackly to his side. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A shadowy figure moves stealthily among the columns at the perimeter of the room and is revealed to be Boushh, the bounty hunter. He picks his way carefully through the snoring, drunken monsters. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chewbacca growls. As he is led away we spot LANDO CALRISSIAN, disguised as a skiff guard in a partial face mask. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The guards instantly back away, as do most of the other monsters in the room. Jabba stares at the silver ball, which begins to glow in the bounty hunter's hand. Guest commentator: Dave Itzkoff See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The crush of debauchers moves aside to allow the approach of two guards followed by BOUSHH, an oddly cloaked bounty hunter, leading his captive, Han Solo's copilot, CHEWBACCA THE WOOKIEE. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

He pushes a button and, before the dancer can flee, a trap door in the floor springs open and swallows her up. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sloppy, smelly monsters cheer and make rude noises as Oola and a fat female dancer perform in front of Jabba's throne. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The guard motions them into the boiler room, where they are met by a tall, thin humanlike robot named EV-9D9. Behind the robot can be seen a torture rack pulling the legs off a screaming baby work droid. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One of Jabba's Gamorrean guards marches Artoo and Threepio down a dank, shadowy passageway lined with holding cells. Guest commentator: Joe Dator See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Artoo whistles, and a beam of light projects from his domed head, creating a hologram of LUKE on the floor. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Light shafts partially illuminate the drunken courtiers as Bib Fortuna crosses the room to the platform upon which rests the leader of this nauseating crowd: JABBA THE HUTT. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The frightened robots are met by two giant, green GAMORREAN GUARDS, who fall in behind them. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Artoo starts forward into the gloom. Threepio rushes after his stubby companion. The door lowers noisily behind them. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We hear a familiar beeping and a distinctive reply before catching sight of ARTOO-DETOO and SEE-THREEPIO, making their way along the road toward the ominous palace of Jabba the Hutt. Guest commentator: Jordan White See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The commander turns ashen and begins to shake. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The exit hatch of the shuttle opens with a WHOOSH, revealing only darkness. Then, heavy FOOTSTEPS AND MECHANICAL BREATHING. From this black void appears DARTH VADER, LORD OF THE SITH. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The shuttle captain makes contact with the Death Star. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pete and Alex break down the teaser trailer for The Force Awakens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We chat with the leader of the Rebel Force Band about life, Star Wars, and "Living In These Star Wars". See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Benson is back, and this time we're talking about what we might expect from Episode VII See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Matt Belknap, Joseph Scrimshaw & Tony Thaxton are back with Pete and Alex at the NerdMelt Showroom! This time, we're reviewing a few classic Star Wars TV commercials. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Matt Belknap, Joseph Scrimshaw & Tony Thaxton join Pete and Alex at the NerdMelt Showroom to discuss the Star Wars episode of The Muppet Show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.