Something Shiny: ADHD!

This week, David and Isabelle sit down with Avari Brocker — Neurodiversity Alliance student advocate and founder of Learning Curb — for a conversation about something so many neurodivergent people carry quietly for years: knowing you’re different, only seeing your deficits, and not having language for why life feels so much harder than it seems to for everyone else.Avari shares what it was like to be diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at 16 after struggling for most of her life, and why the worst thing she thought she might hear was that something wasn't actually wrong. David and Isabelle unpack why that fear lands so deeply, especially for high-achieving, high-masking kids who get told they’re just too anxious or “you'll be fine” while they’re privately drowning.Avari also shares how that late diagnosis lit a fire under LearningCurb.org, the resource hub she built so other neurodivergent kids and families don’t have to spend a year desperately searching for answers while they’re still in the middle of struggling.If you’ve ever thought, “I know something’s different, but I don’t know what”… if you’ve ever worried that a label would make things worse… or if you’ve ever needed someone to say there’s a reason this has felt this hard, this one’s for you.Here's what's coming your way:Why the label you fear can sometimes be the thing that finally brings reliefA powerful breakdown of what it means to grow up seeing only your deficits and not your strengthsWhy high-masking, high-achieving kids can get missed for yearsHow research, self-understanding, and advocacy can change the trajectory of someone’s lifeWhat Avari built after diagnosis — and why it matters for neurodivergent kids and families now-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance: An organization that supports neurodivergent young people through leadership, mentorship, and advocacy. In this conversation, it’s also the community space where David and Isabelle first connected with Avari. Learn more at TheNDAlliance.org.Dyslexia: A learning disability that affects reading, spelling, and language processing. In this episode, Avari talks about finally having language for why reading and spelling had felt so hard for so long.Dysgraphia: A learning disability that affects writing. It can show up in handwriting, spelling, and getting thoughts onto the page. Avari references how physically hard writing tasks could be for her.LearningCurb.org: Avari’s resource hub for neurodivergent kids and families. She created it to give people one place to find tools, support, and information for different neurodiverse needs.Interconnected Thinking: Avari’s phrase for the way her brain naturally links ideas, experiences, and patterns together. She talks about this as one of her neurodivergent strengths.Hyperfocus: A common ADHD experience where attention gets locked onto something intensely. Avari mentions that she used to assume everyone experienced hyperfocus the way she did.Eye Diagnosis for Slow Tracking: A diagnosis related to how the eyes track across a page or visual field. In Avari’s case, that diagnosis helped her access extra time on tests before she later received her ADHD and dyslexia diagnoses.Trauma Mastery: A phrase Isabelle uses to describe the way people sometimes make meaning out of painful experiences by using what they learned to protect or help others.-------💬 Have you ever gotten an answer or label that finally made your life make more sense? Drop your story in the comments on Spotify.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

This week, David and Isabelle unpack why moving can hit neurodivergent brains so much harder than people realize. Yes, there’s the obvious stress of boxes, clutter, visual chaos, and trying to remember where literally anything is. But underneath that, they get into the deeper part too: what happens when your routines disappear, your environment stops making sense, and even the tiniest automatic actions suddenly don’t exist anymore.Because this episode is really about more than moving. It’s about that awful, disorienting in-between where something is objectively good… and your nervous system is still like, “Absolutely not.” David breaks down why change itself can land as painful, why losing patterns can feel like losing your footing, and why so many neurospicy folks get slammed by overwhelm before the new environment has had a chance to make sense yet.And instead of just naming the problem, they get to what actually can help. The conversation gets into why your brain may need to physically build new patterns before anything feels manageable again, why body doubling can interrupt the buffering, why visual overwhelm matters more than people think, and how different neurospicy brains need totally different systems in order to function.If you’ve ever been excited about a change and still felt totally wrecked by it. Or, if you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why does this feel so hard when this is supposed to be good?” this one will probably hit home.Here's what's coming your way: Why “good change” can still feel painful, disorienting, and weirdly grief-y for ADHD and AuDHD brainsA really helpful breakdown of how routines, environment, and repeated actions quietly hold daily life togetherLanguage for the specific kind of overwhelm that happens when nothing feels automatic anymoreWhy unpacking can create instant buffering, shutdown, and decision fatigueHow body doubling, music, and visual clarity can help interrupt overwhelm and make starting easierWhy different brains need wildly different organization systems--and why that doesn’t mean anyone is doing it wrong-------Wait, What’s That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Bobby: Isabelle’s husband.Sarah: A partner in David’s practice. David brings up a conversation with Sarah while wondering out loud whether change can actually register as pain in the brain. Robin: David’s partner, who comes up while he’s describing the home setup that helps his own brain keep track of where things are. Clutterbug YouTube: The decluttering channel Isabelle shouts out because those videos have basically become her fake body-doubling companions while unpacking. https://www.youtube.com/@ClutterbugBody Doubling: A support strategy where doing a task gets easier because someone else is there with you — even virtually. Isabelle talks about using decluttering videos that way during the move. Object Permanence: The very real neurospicy experience of something effectively disappearing once it’s boxed up, put away, or moved out of its usual place.Externalized Memory: David’s phrase for needing to physically put something somewhere yourself in order to actually remember where it is later. Procedural Memory: Isabelle’s way of describing how much she relies on repeated physical action — reach here, plug this in there, turn this direction — instead of remembering things abstractly.-------💬 Has a “good change” ever completely overwhelmed your brain at first? Drop your story in the comments on Spotify.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you — you were never too much.

Ever needed extra time, extra support, or a different way of doing something and immediately thought, “Wait… is this cheating?”Yeah. That feeling is way more common than you think.This week, David and Isabelle are back on stage at the Neurodiversity Alliance Leadership Summit in Denver for the second part of their live conversation with Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance. Jesse has been part of this community for years as a mentor, leader, and now the person helping guide the organization forward. The Leadership Summit is where Neurodiversity Alliance mentors and student leaders from across the country gather for training, storytelling, and connection. It’s a room full of neurodivergent students learning how to talk about their brains with confidence—and how to help younger kids do the same.In this part of the live conversation, Safia Mohammed, a Brooklyn-based nursing student and Neurodiversity Alliance Student Ambassador who’s been part of the community for several years, joins the conversation. She shares her story about something a lot of neurodivergent people wrestle with: the uncomfortable feeling that needing support somehow means you're doing something wrong.Safia talks about her experience first received an IEP (Individualized Education Program) in elementary school. At the time, it felt confusing. She was being pulled out of class for extra help and didn’t really understand why. And like a lot of neurodivergent kids, she started wondering something was wrong with her. David and Isabelle unpack why moments like that are so common in the neurodivergent experience, from the stigma around accommodations to the deeply ingrained belief that success only counts if it’s hard.If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for help because you didn’t want to feel like you were getting an advantage, this conversation might shift how you think about support and what it’s actually there to do.Here's what's coming your way:Safia’s story of receiving an IEP and why it felt confusing when she was youngerThe moment that changed how she understood accommodationsWhy so many neurodivergent people feel shame around getting supportHow stigma around accommodations keeps people from advocating for what they need-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:IEP (Individualized Education Program): A formal education plan used in U.S. schools to provide accommodations and support for students with learning differences or disabilities. These supports can include extra time on tests, alternative learning environments, or additional instructional support designed to help students demonstrate what they actually know.Accommodations: Adjustments made in school or work environments that allow people with learning differences or disabilities to access the same opportunities as others. Examples include extended time on exams, quieter testing environments, or different ways of presenting information.Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): An organization where neurodivergent young adults and teens mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects and advocacy work. The rebrand reflects what they actually do: build an alliance of humans across the neurodivergent spectrum who know how to tell their full stories, vulnerabilities and superpowers included.OI: A term used by members of the Neurodiversity Alliance community to refer to the organization’s annual leadership summit where mentors and student leaders gather for training and connection.-------💬 Have you ever had a moment where getting support changed how you saw your abilities? Tell us your story in the comments on Spotify.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

Ever walked into a room full of neurodivergent people and thought, "Oh no, what if I'm NOT actually ADHD? What if I don't belong here either?" Yeah. That's a thing. And it's weirdly universal.This week, David and Isabelle are taking you inside the Neurodiversity Alliance Leadership Summit in Denver for a special live recording with Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye). If Jesse's name sounds familiar, that's because he joined us recently to talk about mentorship and the intersectionality of neurodivergence with race, class, and systemic barriers. This time, we're bringing you the live conversation that started it all!The Neurodiversity Alliance brings together neurodivergent young adults and teens who mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects, advocacy, and identity work. The ND Alliance Leadership Summit is where their mentors and leaders gather for training, and David and Isabelle got to do a live podcast on stage in front of the whole group.What "finding your people" actually means when you have ADHD is more than just support. It's about finally stopping the cycle of feeling like a broken, defective version of a person and starting to feel like you belong. Jesse talks about showing up to his first summit 15 years ago "ADHD curious," terrified he wouldn't get the diagnosis and therefore wouldn't get to be part of this incredible community. Isabelle tears up remembering the moment David brought her to her first ND Alliance event and she realized, "Oh. OH. This is me." And David reflects on two decades of watching this organization do something he's never seen anywhere else: teach neurodivergent kids that being different doesn't mean being deficient.This isn't a "yay, you found support!" episode. This is about finding your SHAPE (your superpowers, your heart, your abilities, your personality, your experiences) and realizing your worth has absolutely nothing to do with how much money you make or how well you perform. It's about walking into a room where you don't have to mask, where everyone's fidgeting, and where "wait, you do that too?" is the most healing sentence in the English language.If you've ever felt inadequate, like you're failing at being a person, or like you don't quite fit anywhere, grab tissues. This one's for you.Here's what's coming your way:Jesse's journey from "ADHD curious" to diagnosed adult to president of the organization that changed his lifeWhy the fear of NOT being neurodivergent enough to belong is just as real as the fear of having ADHDThe moment Isabelle realized she had ADHD and David said "welcome to the community" (she's still not over it)What "finding your SHAPE" actually means and why it's the key to career alignment and callingWhy neurodiversity creates connection across race, class, and identity in ways other affinity spaces sometimes struggle withWhat Jesse would tell his 10-year-old self (spoiler: "You are worthy and loved beyond measure, and no one can take that from you")How the Neurodiversity Alliance is literally changing education by teaching kids to talk about their brains with mastery instead of shame-------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): An organization where neurodivergent young adults and teens mentor younger neurodivergent kids through art projects and advocacy work. The rebrand reflects what they actually do: build an alliance of humans across the neurodivergent spectrum who know how to tell their full stories, vulnerabilities and superpowers included."ADHD Curious": Jesse's term for showing up to his first summit without a formal diagnosis but knowing something was going on. He was literally exploring his own brain to figure out if neurodivergence explained his life.Masking: Hiding or suppressing your natural neurodivergent behaviors to fit neurotypical expectations. Isabelle talks about being hyper-aware she's masking on stage but also being able to fidget and move in ways that feel freeing instead of shameful.The "SHAPE" Framework: An acrostic Jesse uses for career alignmentS = Superpowers (what you're naturally great at)H = Heart (what motivates you)A = Abilities (what you can actually do)P = Personality (how you show up in the world)E = Experiences (what you bring from your journey)Job vs. Career vs. Calling: Jesse breaks it down: a job pays the bills, a career is something you're invested in growing long-term, and a calling is something bigger than you (something you feel pulled toward whether you like it or not).Metacognitive Skills: The ability to think about your own thinking (understanding how your brain works, what you need, and how you learn best). The ND Alliance teaches kids to get really good at talking about their learning styles instead of hiding them.-------💬 Have you had a "finding your people" moment? Drop your story in the comments on Spotify.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD fo

Ever wonder why seeing another neurodivergent person succeed can literally change your life? This week, David and Isabelle bring you the second half of their conversation with Jesse Sanchez, Executive Director of the Neurodiversity Alliance, and it goes deep. They're talking about the kind of mentorship that doesn't happen in an office—it happens in moments of "wait, you do that too?" They also get brutally honest about why neurodivergence isn't just a rich kid's diagnosis, it's an intergenerational survival story that intersects with race, class, incarceration, and educational access in ways we desperately need to talk about.Missed Part 1 of this conversation? Catch up here.Jesse shares his own story: growing up with a single mom who left home at nine, a father in federal prison, navigating the world as a first-gen, low-income, multiracial kid—and how none of the incredible educational access programs he benefited from ever addressed the neurodivergent piece. David drops the "glasses metaphor" that'll make you rethink everything. And Isabelle connects the dots between pulling all-nighters, calling it a moral failing, and why our school system was literally designed to create worker bees during the Industrial Revolution (spoiler: neurodivergent brains were never meant to fit that mold).If you've ever felt like an imposter for doing things differently, this episode is your permission slip to stop hiding!Here's what's coming your way:Why real mentorship is exposure to a reality you didn't know existed—not instructions on how to succeedHow seeing a successful neurodivergent person changes the way you view yourself (and why that matters more than any advice)The intersectionality we're not talking about: neurodivergence, unemployment, incarceration, economic insecurity, and social justiceJesse's powerful story of intergenerational neurodivergence and why he's bringing neuro-inclusive practices to NYC public schoolsWhy your all-nighters aren't a character flaw—they're an accommodation (and how that reframe changes everything)The glasses metaphor: imagine never getting glasses until your 30s. That's undiagnosed ADHD.What Jesse would tell his 5-year-old self entering the school system (grab tissues for this one)-------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Mentorship (the real kind): Not lectures about success—it's living life together and taking the behaviors you like while leaving the rest. It's "try my biscuits and gravy" energy. Exposing someone to a reality they didn't have before.Normalization: Making something feel normal by seeing it modeled by others. When you see another neurodivergent person succeed while doing things differently, it normalizes your own approach and reduces shame.Moral Failing: The story undiagnosed neurodivergent people tell themselves: "I pull all-nighters because I'm lazy/broken/bad"—instead of recognizing it as an accommodation for how your brain works.Accommodation: A strategy that helps you work with your brain instead of against it. Pulling an all-nighter isn't cheating—it's an accommodation. Just like glasses.Intergenerational Neurodivergence: ADHD and other neurodivergent traits often run in families. Jesse talks about his mom's undiagnosed ADHD and how neurodivergence intersects with intergenerational trauma and survival.Intersectionality: How different identities (race, class, neurodivergence) overlap and create unique experiences. Jesse emphasizes how neurodivergence intersects with being low-income, first-gen, Latino—and how that's overlooked in social justice work.Social Capital: The networks and resources you access through community. The neurodivergent community shares social capital—connecting first-gen students with Ivy League students, leveling the playing field.The School System's Origins: Our current education system was designed during the Industrial Revolution to create efficient worker bees for factories. Everything from the bells to the desks to the subjects was built for output and performance—not for neurodivergent brains. Learn more about the factory model of education: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factory_model_school-------💬 What would you say to your younger self entering the school system? Jesse's answer brought Isabelle and David to tears. Drop yours in the comments on Spotify.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

Ever notice how ADHD makes you crave chaos...until the chaos actually arrives and your brain completely shorts out? This week, co-host Isabelle Richards is living that paradox in real time. We're dropping this episode on Friday instead of our usual every-other-Wednesday schedule because Nashville is currently frozen solid and Isabelle is flying solo, recording from her phone in her kids' bedroom during a 6-day power outage and ice storm. She gets brutally honest about the ADHD crisis cycle: the superhuman first 48 hours, the inevitable crash that follows, and why—even after all the work, all the podcasting, all the self-compassion practice—her first instinct is still to absolutely destroy herself on the inside.If you've ever felt like a superhero one day and a deflated balloon the next, this one's for you. Isabelle shares the reframe that changed everything: what if your scattered brain isn't broken—it's actually trying to protect you? And here's the twist: the thing that pulled her out of the spiral was recording this very episode. Sometimes serving others is how we save ourselves.Here's what's coming your way:Why ADHD brains can be superhuman in the first 24-48 hours of chaos (and why the crash is inevitable)What happens to your inner critic when you lose your feedback loops—and why it gets so viciousHow to recognize when your brain is begging you to stop asking it to do too much (before you completely crash)Why hating routine while desperately needing it is the most brutal ADHD paradoxThe one tiny shift that can pull you out of the spiral when everything feels impossible-------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode explained:Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurospicy: ADHD/neurodivergent community slang for having a brain that works differently. A playful, lighter way to say neurodivergent—because sometimes you need to be able to laugh at your beautiful, chaotic brain.Break in Routine: When your daily structure gets disrupted and suddenly you realize you were using that routine to survive all along. For ADHD brains, losing structure can be destabilizing even when you thought you hated having it in the first place.Paradox: The ADHD experience of hating routine while absolutely needing it to function. You resist structure until it's gone, and then everything falls apart—which is exactly what makes it so brutal.Feedback Loop: External validation or confirmation that helps you know you're on the right track. Without it, ADHD brains often default to the harshest possible self-judgment—like "you've made the worst decision" even when you probably made a fine decision.Deflated Balloon: The crash that comes after days of crisis mode. The superhuman energy is gone, you can't finish sentences, and everything feels impossible. It's the inevitable comedown after running on pure adrenaline.Mushy: When your brain feels foggy, slow, and unable to process normally. Not broken—just begging you to stop asking it to do too much. Sometimes mushy is your brain's way of protecting you.Bobby: Isabelle's husband and co-producer of the podcast. When she mentions he suggested recording this episode, it's part of why you're hearing this raw, real-time account of ADHD in crisis—the kind of messy, honest moment that might help you feel less alone in your own chaos.-------💬 How does YOUR ADHD show up when chaos hits? Superhuman for 48 hours then can't finish a sentence? Let us know by leaving a comment on Spotify! We want to hear your crisis stories.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

Ever felt like you were doing everything "wrong" compared to everyone around you...like, thinking back to college, why did studying take you five environment changes and an all-nighter when your roommate just sat there and did it? If so, then this one's for you!Jesse Sanchez, President of the Neurodiversity Alliance, joins hosts Isabelle Richards and David Kessler to talk about his journey from "wait, am I broken?" confusion in college to leading a national movement that's literally changing (and saving) lives through peer mentorship and community. And yes, we have the data to back that up.Jesse gets incredibly real about what it was like to need accommodations for years without anyone explaining why, and how finding other neurodivergent people who just got it completely transformed the way he saw himself. They also get into what it actually looks like to unmask and take care of yourself in professional settings—like when Jesse collapsed on a couch between high-stakes donor meetings at the Neurodiversity Leadership Summit with Isabelle and David there. It was beautiful:) And why that kind of authentic nervous system regulation isn't weakness—it's literally the accommodation your body needs.Here's what's coming your way:Jesse's origin story with the Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye) and why peer mentorship is so powerfulThe actual published research showing how mentorship protects neurodivergent middle schoolers from depression and boosts self-esteem (statistically significant, baby!)Why lying down with your feet up is one of the best nervous system hacks—and the full parasympathetic nerd-out on why it worksHow finding your people can fundamentally shift your identity from "I'm broken" to "I'm just wired different—and that's actually amazing"Go to TheNDAlliance.org to explore student chapters, scholarships, paid internships, and leadership opportunities for neurodivergent students across the U.S.-------Wait—What's That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance (formerly Eye to Eye): A national student-led organization creating clubs on middle school, high school, and college campuses where neurodivergent students mentor younger students, build community, and flex their leadership skills.Neurodiversity Leadership Summit: An annual gathering where neurodivergent students, leaders, and advocates come together to learn, connect, and celebrate neurodiversity. This is where Jesse melted on the couch and we all fell a little more in love with authentic self-care.Parasympathetic Nervous System (Rest and Digest): The part of your nervous system that helps you calm down and recover after being activated. Isabelle breaks down how lying with your feet up literally forces blood back to your internal organs and tells your body "hey, no tiger here!"Fight, Flight, or Freeze: Your body's automatic stress response that sends blood to your extremities so you can run or fight. When you're chronically activated (hello, masking all day), you need help switching back to rest mode.Vagus Nerve: A major nerve running from your brain to your gut that plays a huge role in calming your nervous system. Certain positions (like lying down) stimulate it and help you regulate. Science is cool.Disability Accommodations: Adjustments like extra time, quiet spaces, or flexible deadlines that level the playing field. Jesse talks about how reframing these from "crutch" to "right" was life-changing.Positive Identity Development: A core focus of the Neurodiversity Alliance's work—helping students integrate their neurodivergence into their identity in a way that feels empowering, not shameful.Statistical Significance: Research-speak for "this didn't happen by accident." Jesse shares data showing mentored students had significantly lower depression and higher self-esteem compared to non-mentored students. The protective effect against depression? Huge.-------🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

If you’ve ever tried to start something simple—doing the dishes, sending the email, getting out the door—and still somehow couldn’t make it happen, this episode is for you.Russ Jones is back with Isabelle and David to go deeper into what actually works when ADHD makes even the smallest task feel impossible. You can go back and listen to part one of their conversation here. Russ, ADHD wellness coach and creator of ADHD Big Brother, gets candid about his own patterns and tools—and how even with all his knowledge and experience, he still gets stuck sometimes. But instead of spiraling into shame or "just try harder" mode, this episode is about finding your way back to momentum without beating yourself up.Here’s what's coming your way:How to use behavioral momentum to get moving again—by starting small and stacking tiny winsWhy body doubling isn’t just helpful—it’s a core support strategy (especially on the hard days)The exact self-check-in Russ uses to stay consistent without self-blame—and how you can try it tooDavid also unpacks why these tools work from a neuroscience perspective, Isabelle shares her own struggles with task initiation, and the group unpacks how perfectionism can sneak in and sabotage even our best intentions!Want to try Russ’s method? He shares a free downloadable guide called Ready, Set, Go! to help you start with the smallest possible step. You can get it by signing up for his newsletter at adhdbigbrother.com. You can also check out the ADHD Big Brother Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.--------Wait—What’s That? Here are some of the terms mentioned in this episode you might want a quick refresher on:CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): A structured approach that helps identify and reframe unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. Russ talks about using CBT to take shame out of the equation and break tasks down into achievable steps.ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): A therapy modality that encourages accepting uncomfortable thoughts without judgment and taking action based on values. David and Isabelle briefly reference it while discussing internal self-talk.Behavioral Momentum: A strategy where doing one small task can help you build enough mental energy to do the next one. Key concept discussed by Russ when he shares how to stack tiny wins.Body Doubling: A method where simply doing a task alongside someone else (virtually or in person) helps increase focus and follow-through. Russ talks about this as a game-changing tool for him and his community.Compassionate Check-Ins: A self-inquiry tool Russ uses regularly—quick moments to assess what’s working and what’s not, without self-judgment.Russell Barkley: A prominent clinical psychologist known for his research on ADHD, mentioned by Isabelle while discussing the neurological underpinnings of executive dysfunction.Coaching vs. Therapy: Russ clarifies that he’s a coach, not a therapist—he works from lived experience and ADHD-specific tools to help people build structure and momentum.--------🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

You know what to do. You’ve made the list, downloaded the app, maybe even set a timer. But when it’s time to actually do the thing, your brain shuts down. And instead of momentum, you get a wall of shame.In this episode of Something Shiny: ADHD, David and Isabelle are joined by Russ Jones, creator of ADHD Big Brother, wellness coach, and no-BS accountability pro. Russ brings a unique humor and honesty to one of the hardest parts of living with ADHD—knowing what to do but still not being able to do it.This conversation dives into:The motivation myth (and what actually helps ADHD brains move)Why “just try harder” never worksThe role of accountability—especially when it’s designed for youHow shame becomes invisible architecture in your daily lifeThe shift that happens when someone believes in your ability to changeRuss isn’t here to hand out hacks—he’s here to name what’s real, what’s hard, and what might help. Because sometimes the most useful tool is someone showing you that you’re not broken, you’ve just been using the wrong blueprint.Want more from Russ? Visit ADHDBigBrother.com and check out the ADHD Big Brother Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.

You know that moment when you're doing something hard, painful, or just plain exhausting, and a tiny voice whispers, "Why is this so hard for me?" You're not alone and in this episode we'll break down where that comes from and how to escape the shame spiral.We're joined again by therapist Grace Gautier, a trans woman who works closely with trans and neurodivergent communities. Last week the group cracked open the shame so many of us carry about being “too much” or “not enough” and began to see those traits not as flaws, but as survival strategies. If you haven’t heard that one yet, listen here. It’s a grounding prequel to this one—especially if you’ve ever felt like you had to earn your way into belonging. This episode follows that path even deeper! Because once you name the systems that shaped you, the question becomes: now what?It's a conversation about internalized ableism, pushing through pain to prove worth, and the quiet (and sometimes loud) practice of unmasking. Not everywhere. Not all at once. Just somewhere. Together, they unpack:Why we equate doing hard things with being good enoughHow ableism hides in everyday pressure and perfectionismWhat it looks like to stop chasing ease and start honoring honestyThe quiet power of choosing to show up as yourselfIf you've ever felt stuck over performing while quietly falling apart, this conversation might be a the paradigm shift you need.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you, you were never too much.

There’s a particular kind of tired that seeps past your muscles—it settles in your body memory. The kind that comes from years spent reshaping yourself around other people’s comfort. If you’ve ever been told your joy was too big, your voice too loud, your questions too many—this conversation might feel like exhaling.In this episode of Something Shiny: ADHD, therapist Grace Gautier joins Isabelle Richards and David Kessler for a deeply human conversation about what it means to hide your corners to stay connected. Grace, a trans woman who works closely with trans and neurodivergent communities, puts language to something so many of us have felt but couldn’t name: carceral logic—that cultural instinct to isolate or correct those who struggle, instead of shifting the environment to support them.We talk about what happens when systems teach us to monitor ourselves before anyone else can. How masking gets confused for maturity. How survival strategies get mislabeled as flaws. And why returning to connection—not perfection—is the real work of healing.We explore:The overlap between neurodivergent and trans lived experiencesWhy we learn to tuck away the most beautiful, vital parts of ourselvesThe difference between being managed and being metHow community becomes the repairDavid brings in the metaphor of the uncarved block—this tender image of a version of you untouched by the sanding-down of social expectation. Grace recognizes herself immediately. She traces how her sensory overwhelm, emotional intensity, and clutter-as-memory weren’t signs of dysfunction—they were adaptations. Signals. Ways of being.Grace also shares the ache of her father’s deportation and the clarity that arrived when she was finally diagnosed with ADHD later in life. Suddenly, things made sense. She didn’t need to try harder—she needed support that didn’t punish her nervous system.By the end of this conversation, you'll realize the parts you were taught to hide were actually never flaws to fix, but rather truths you were carrying alone. What shifts when you stop mistaking survival for failure? What changes when you see your ADHD traits not as obstacles, but as signals? Maybe, for the first time, things make sense. And maybe that sense brings a kind of peace you didn’t know you were allowed to feel.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD wherever you get your podcasts for conversations that help you understand your ADHD and feel more at home in your brain.