I don’t know if it has a pickle plugin

Salesforce synergizing at IBM and Red Hat, VMware buys Bitnami, and Linux Desktop market share analysis. Plus, pickles.

Opening comments:

• The intersection between business books and dog vomit.
• Democracy sausage.
• Coté can’t get extra pickles.
• Let me close out this topic of pickles.
• It’s not Burger King.
• Enterprise Salespeople don’t get tattoos
• T-shirt currency arbitrage.
• Literally misspelled responsibility
• Tacos and IT transformation
• 7 layer burrito of IT transformation.
• BSD and Linux are the same, right? (Don’t email me.)
• Don’t watch Coté’s old videos.
• Did the cat walk on your keyboard?

Relevant to your interests

• VMware to acquire Bitnami:
  • VMware’s desires: “Upon close, Bitnami will enable our customers to easily deploy application packages on any cloud— public or hybrid—and in the most optimal format—virtual machine (VM), containers and Kubernetes helm charts. Further, Bitnami will be able to augment our existing efforts to deliver a curated marketplace to VMware customers that offers a rich set of applications and development environments in addition to infrastructure software.”
  • Coté: so Bitnami is a thing that packages up software for you in (VMs?) containers and stuff, maybe with some Helm chart stuff for deploying to kubernetes? And a service that manages them in EC2?
  • Jay@451: “The acquisition will also help VMware support applications in various forms – including VMs, containers and Kubernetes Helm charts – across the different infrastructures. With Bitnami, VMware is also positioned to support ISVs and open source software components with Bitnami's catalog of curated, secured, certified components.”
  • “VMware says it has acquired Bitnami for its multi-cloud competency and its Kubernetes expertise. VMware's acquisitions of CloudVelox, Heptio and CloudHealth have signaled its appetite for multi-cloud and Kubernetes.”
  • The New Stack coverage: “Monocular, a service described by Bitnami as an open source search and discovery frontend for Helm Chart repositories.”
  • https://thenewstack.io/vmware-to-acquire-bitnami-the-app-marketplace-platform-and-container-packager/
• Holy high street, Sainsbury's! Have you forgotten Bezos' bunch are the competition?
  • Coté’s collection of interesting bits, including:
  • “This was effectively taking a WebSphere e-commerce monolith with an Oracle RAC database, and moving it, and modularising it, and putting it into AWS.”
  • “’Today, we run about 80 per cent of our groceries online with EC2, and 20 per cent is serverless.’ In total, the company migrated more than 7TB of data into the cloud. As a result, or so Jordan claimed, the mart spends 30 per cent less on infrastructure, and regularly sees a 70-80 per cent improvement in performance of interactions on the website and batch processing.”
  • Australian $50 bills
• Symantec CEO Greg Clark steps down, stock drops
• GitHub Package Registry: Your packages, at home with their code
  • JFrog and Sonatype watch out
• How Windows and Chrome quietly made 2019 the year of Linux on the desktop
  • It’s time for another installment of Coté’s Pedantry on Market Share Analysis (tm).
  • Windows ships a Linux in a nifty VM.
  • Chromebook market share was ~13% in Gartner’s 2016Q4 estimates (based on 9.4m Chromebooks shipped out of 72.6m laptops total).
  • Meanwhile, Gartner estimates that something like 2bn mobile devices (phones and tablets) were shipped in 2016. Gartner said shipments for “PCs, tablets and mobile phones” was 2.33bn in 2016 (if I read the press release right - something around those numbers).
  • …if you run-rate the Chromebook Q4 (which is very kind since Christmas and corporate end-of-year spending is in Q4), you get 2016 shipments of 37.6m Chromebooks. So, out of all types of computing devices, Chromebooks are, like 37.6m out of 2.3bn, or ~2%, right?
  • Clearly: LINUX DESKTOP VICTORY! (I guess you could throw MacOS in there, but those who’d care say that was BSD or something, right? Even if you do throw them in and do *nix market share, what’s it like? Gartner says 2018Q4 Apple share was 7.2%, so add in Chromebooks and we’re at 9.2% - round it up for shits and giggles, and we’re at 10%. That anything?)
  • iOS - FreeBSD?
• Google now lists playable podcasts in search results
• ParkMyCloud is Now Part of Turbonomic - ParkMyCloud
• Amazon’s Away Teams laid bare: How AWS's hivemind of engineers develop and maintain their internal tech
  • It’s the new Spotify Culture!
• Oppressive countries used a newly-discovered WhatsApp flaw to spy on activists
• The red hot 'FAANG' trade is officially over, now bet on your fellow 'MAAN'
• FOSDEM 2019 - The clusterfuck hidden in the Kubernetes code base
• Microsoft warns wormable Windows bug could lead to another WannaCry
  • Suggested headline: “Wutzit! Washington Windows Wunderkin Wonder Why Worms WannaCry”
• Google replaces its Bluetooth security keys because they can be accessed by nearby attackers
• New secret-spilling flaw affects almost every Intel chip since 2011
• Google is about to have a lot more ads on phones
• Donald Trump is short-circuiting the electronics industry
• IBM reps can sell IBM and Red Hat: ‘in the field, "IBM sales guys will get comped on Red Hat products, but our sales guys will only get comped on Red Hat products."’

Nonsense

• World’s Most Expensive Coffee Costs $75 A Cup; Now Being Sold In Southern California

Sponsors

To learn more or to try SolarWinds Papertrail free for 14 days, go to papertrailapp.com/sdt and make troubleshooting fun again.

Conferences, et. al.

• ALERT! DevOpsDays Discount - DevOpsDays MSP, August 6th to 7th, $50 off with the code SDT2019.
• 2019, a city near you: The 2019 SpringOne Tours are posted. Coté will be speaking at many of these, hopefully all the ones in EMEA. They’re free and all about programming and DevOps things. Coming up in: Paris (May 23rd & 24th), San Francisco (June 4th & 5th), Atlanta (June 13th & 14th)…and back to a lot of US cities.
• ChefConf 2019 May 20-23. Matt’s speaking!
• ChefConf London 2019 June 19-20
• Monktoberfest, Oct 3rd and 4th - CFP now open.

Listener Feedback

• Tom from Schiermonnikooglaan in The Netherlands tell us “Thanks for the awesome podcasts” and we sent him laptop stickers.

SDT news & hype

• Join us in Slack.
• Send your postal address to [email protected] and we will send you free laptop stickers!
• Follow us on Twitter, Instagram or LinkedIn
• Listen to the Software Defined Interviews Podcast. Check out the back catalog.
• Brandon built the Quick Concall iPhone App and he wants you to buy it for $0.99.

Recommendations

• Coté: my most recent stump-speech recording; UK GDS book, Digital Transformation at Scale. If you like #exegesis stuff, check out this interview Coté did with Derrick Harris. Also, buy my book, fools! Get that other one for free. Use the code sdt for the next week to get it for $5.
• Matt: Sending money internationally? Get yourself some TransferWise.
  • Planet Money podcast: How Uncle Jamie Broke Jeopardy
  • Semi-anti-recommendation: The Wandering Earth
• Brandon:
  • Jonathan on Netflix.
  • DameWare SSH Movie Trailer vs. MSFT Terminal Video.

Outro: Burger King commercial, 1974.

Sponsored By:

• SolarWinds: Over 275,000 customers worldwide and 499 of the Fortune 500 trust and rely on SolarWinds for their monitoring software. To learn more or try the company’s DevOps products for free, visit http://solarwinds.com/devops.