How to Lead With Tea, Not Lectures
Sober Awkward · Victoria Vanstone
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Show Notes
Should you ask your partner to quit drinking just because you have? Or could that actually make things worse?
In this episode of Sober Awkward, Vic explores why telling the people you love to give up booze can backfire, and why quietly showing them what sobriety looks like is often far more powerful. From awkward dinner tables to partners who still drink, Vic talks honestly about support, resentment, boundaries, and why influence beats control every time.
Inspired by a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills binge on a long-haul flight (purely for research), Vic unpacks how normalised alcohol is, how invisible the sober struggle can feel, and why “I don’t have a problem” is often more complicated than it sounds.
Vic is also joined by her husband John, who shares why he eventually chose to quit drinking himself, not because he was asked to, but because he watched sobriety change the person he loved. Together they talk about support, safety, curiosity, and how relationships can evolve when alcohol is taken out of the equation.
This episode is for anyone navigating sobriety alongside partners, friends, or family who still drink, and for anyone learning how to protect their peace without nagging, lecturing, or explaining themselves to death.
Pop the kettle on.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is show them, not tell them.
💛 Resources & Links
📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted Sundays
A brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.
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